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This show is brought to you by ZocDoc. ZocDoc

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and book appointments online. We're talking

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about booking appointments with thousands of

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slash elise.

0:36

It's finally summer, which means we're

0:38

all thinking it. Let's just say it together. Paneras,

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strawberry, poppy seeds, salad! Guys,

0:43

I've been looking forward to this salad all year, and

0:46

I'm devastated that it's only available for a limited

0:48

time. It features fresh, hand-cut

0:50

strawberries, fresh pineapple and blueberries,

0:52

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0:55

seasoned grilled chicken, and Panera's signature

0:57

poppy seed dressing. They pick the strawberries

0:59

at peak freshness, and so the taste is

1:01

incredible. It's definitely my go-to order.

1:04

So find a Panera near you and check out their signature

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strawberry poppy seed salad while it's still

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available.

1:12

Lemonade

1:22

Hello, I'm Elise Myers. I am super

1:24

excited to share with you my appearance on Mike

1:26

Birbiglia's Working It Out podcast. You know

1:28

Mike Birbiglia. He's an award-winning comedian,

1:31

actor, filmmaker, author. He's

1:33

also the host of the podcast Working It Out, where

1:35

he invites creatives like Bill Hader, Stephen

1:38

Colbert, Quinta Brunson, Ira Glass,

1:40

Drew Barrymore, and they discuss their creative process

1:42

and work out material. It's like being a fly

1:45

on the wall for a creative writing session. I

1:47

was on Working It Out last month, so I'm going to share that

1:49

episode with you right now. Mike and I talk

1:51

storytelling, and he makes a very strong

1:53

case for me to be telling stories live on

1:55

a stage. I also give him some notes and ideas

1:58

on two stories that he's working on for his podcast. hour

2:00

of comedy. It was so fun and I think

2:02

that you're really gonna enjoy it.

2:19

You talk about postpartum depression that

2:22

you experienced and how, and

2:24

you describe it,

2:26

and I'm gonna do a terrible job

2:28

of explaining this, but you describe it through the

2:30

specificity of your hands and

2:33

you're going through depression. And

2:35

it was one of those things where I was like, you have

2:37

this really specific approach

2:40

which is attacking a really

2:42

macro idea with

2:45

mundane smaller things. I was just

2:48

curious, like how do you arrive at that?

2:49

Well, honestly, I think that it

2:51

comes from like, I can't interpret postpartum depression

2:54

for anybody else. I can't interpret most

2:57

common shared experiences through any

2:59

other lens of my own. And so to me,

3:01

it's like if I try and personalize

3:03

something so big to so small, it's like this is

3:05

how I experienced this thing. In

3:09

one part of my brain, I'm like, well, then that's not relevant to

3:12

anybody else because that's just your experience. But in

3:14

doing that and breaking into such a molecular

3:16

level of like my postpartum depression

3:18

was experienced and started to, I kind of

3:20

like found my way out of it by looking in my hands and going,

3:23

these are the same hands you got married with. Like people

3:25

hear that and though it feels so personal to me,

3:27

they're like, no, I have felt that too. But

3:30

because it's so specific, they feel like

3:32

you're reading their mind. And that is like an

3:34

instant connection point. It's not, I'm not

3:36

trying to manipulate anybody. I'm not trying to like make

3:39

this relatable. I just, I want

3:41

to give people such specific information

3:43

about my life and my feelings and the way I experience

3:45

something so that just on the off chance

3:47

that they have also experienced that, I don't

3:49

have to explain to you anything else about

3:51

postpartum depression. I know, or you

3:54

know that I know that we have experienced the same

3:56

thing. And I think that like, that's

3:58

my goal is like, I want to talk to you.

3:59

about big things, big things, but make them feel

4:02

like you're reading my diary in like a non-traumatic

4:05

way. Like not like so uncomfortable that you're like,

4:08

I shouldn't be reading this, but like so personal

4:10

that you're like me too, same.

4:11

And it's interesting because like you're talking

4:13

about like using the specific

4:16

to convey a universal and

4:18

like that's, you know, that's an idea

4:21

that people talk about in writing all the time but you do

4:23

it so effectively. And cause I found like when I was hearing

4:26

you tell that story, I'm like, oh yeah, I totally

4:28

know what she means. And yet I

4:30

did not

4:31

do that. I did not look at

4:33

my hands. I did not, blah, blah, blah. But for

4:36

me, it's like kind of like my sleepwalking story where

4:38

it's like, I jumped through second story window. Very few

4:40

people have done that. Right. But

4:42

I do think. I hope not a lot. But

4:45

hopefully you tell, I tell this during a way

4:47

where people go, oh, I have a thing like

4:49

that where I'm uncomfortable telling

4:51

that about myself.

4:53

Well, you, the way that you do, and I feel

4:56

like we're similar in this is that you're not talking

4:58

so much about the experience. You're talking about

5:00

how you internalized it. And that is

5:02

what makes it relatable as well. Cause it's like someone

5:04

doesn't have to have had to jump out of a second story window,

5:07

but you can explain how it felt, what you

5:09

were thinking. And like that whole, that's a whole

5:11

journey that you can feel about messing up

5:14

someone else's name when like calling out their coffee order.

5:16

That doesn't have to be so extreme. Like someone

5:18

with anxiety can literally feel like messing up someone's

5:20

name is like jumping out of a second story window. And like,

5:23

those are the same

5:23

feelings. And so being able

5:26

to express that internal

5:28

dialogue that's happening with you in your life is like

5:30

the most crucial part, I think, of making any

5:33

situation relatable to somebody.

5:34

It's interesting, like they're, Jessica

5:36

Gross wrote this piece in the Times recently

5:39

about, she

5:42

was talking about Maggie Smith's book

5:44

that just came out and John Mulaney's

5:46

comedy special that just came out and how both

5:50

of them call

5:51

out that

5:53

they're telling autobiographical stories, but

5:56

this is the part I'm choosing to tell

5:58

you. And.

5:59

and they just hang

6:02

a lantern on it. And that was really interesting.

6:04

And it's like, I was thinking about with

6:07

your stuff, like, do you have

6:09

a code for yourself of like, I'm not gonna talk about

6:12

these things?

6:14

I think that some of it is a feeling,

6:16

some of it's pre like decided. I

6:18

think that if it's not my story to tell,

6:20

that's an immediate no. Like if it's

6:22

not, if I'm breaking the, like

6:24

crossing a line of like sharing information that it's

6:27

just not mine. Like that's not a story I tell, but then

6:29

there's stuff that is mine to tell, but

6:32

it directly affects people that I love. And

6:35

that's, if they're not the ones that have decided to be in

6:37

this position and in the spotlight, like they've

6:39

not asked for this life. Like, so that's not fair either.

6:42

So there's some of that. And then some

6:45

of it's like, I just want some

6:47

of my life to be private. And

6:49

I want my family to feel like we're still a family

6:52

and it's not the three of us. And then the rest of the

6:54

world as well also in our home all the time. And

6:57

so a lot of it is like just between me

6:59

and my husband, like we share stories about us.

7:01

We don't really talk about our son very much or like,

7:05

yeah, we try and have these like very loose

7:07

boundaries that are probably gonna change and sometimes

7:10

grow and sometimes get much closer and

7:12

keep things more close to us. But I

7:15

know that there are things that we don't share, but it's kind

7:17

of just a figured out as we go, but

7:19

some things you just have a gut feeling of like, this just isn't

7:21

my story to tell. Do you have a very

7:23

clear cut

7:24

answer? Mine's pretty clear. It's like, there's

7:27

people in my life who I talk about a lot, like

7:30

my wife Jenny and our daughter

7:32

Una and

7:35

my brother Joe and my parents. But

7:39

yeah, I'm not,

7:42

I don't post photos of my daughter.

7:45

I feel like that's her life. And

7:48

I think increasingly I'm talking less about

7:50

her, like in the last show. She has

7:53

like five or six lines, whereas in the new

7:55

one when she was a baby, I

7:57

feel like

7:58

it could be any baby. the things

8:00

that occur. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I'm

8:02

curious, like for you specifically, and I know it's your podcast,

8:05

so you can cut all this up, but like what is it like doing

8:07

all of this while still having a family? And like,

8:10

how do you balance that? Cause I'm trying to

8:12

find that right now. I

8:14

don't think it's possible. Okay.

8:17

That's a really honest answer. It's a bad news story,

8:19

I believe. Thank you. No,

8:22

I think, I mean, one thing I'm lucky

8:24

about is that my wife, Jenny,

8:26

is a poet

8:28

and she reads

8:30

my stuff and I read her stuff and

8:32

we interact on, you

8:34

know, and so if there's stuff that she

8:36

doesn't like, and I

8:38

didn't say that, I said more like this

8:40

and blah, blah, blah, we talk it out. And a lot

8:42

of times over the years, with the new

8:45

one, she was a writer, accredited writer

8:47

on the show. And it's like,

8:50

I feel like we get through it, but it's also, it doesn't

8:52

mean it's not challenging. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:54

It's definitely like, you know, because

8:57

in marriage, you have two people who

9:00

are witnessing almost identical events

9:03

and remembering them two very different ways.

9:05

Yeah, 100%, yeah. So

9:08

like.

9:09

Oh my gosh, yes. So

9:11

like, I have a joke, usually

9:13

I do this in the material section, but I'll just say a joke that

9:16

I have that's new at my show, which is like,

9:19

many years ago, we were in Chicago,

9:21

Jenny and I are on an elevator,

9:24

a hotel elevator coming down and we had stayed in the hotel

9:26

before. And I said to her, I go, it

9:29

just occurred to me, oh,

9:30

we stayed in this hotel before and

9:33

you loved the cafe in

9:35

the lobby. And then her

9:37

response was, she goes, who did?

9:40

And I was like, oh no, because who

9:42

did? She's like, who else did you

9:44

stay here with? Right,

9:46

you got that very quickly. Sometimes

9:48

the audiences don't get it as quickly. So the subtext

9:50

of it is, A, you know, that wasn't

9:52

me. B, that must've been

9:54

someone else you were seeing.

9:56

C, I'm not happy about this. And

9:59

you get to the level. The lobby door's open.

10:05

And she goes, I love this cafe. And

10:10

I was like, I almost died in the elevator.

10:15

And you just casually

10:16

remember that I'm right. So

10:20

anyway,

10:20

so now Jenny and I, we have a

10:23

safe word in our marriage and it's who did. That's

10:25

a so many layers because I could

10:27

see someone interpreting that as like, did I love

10:30

it or did you love it? Or like,

10:33

did I love it or did someone else that you stayed here

10:35

with love it? Because that's how

10:37

I would have interpreted the who did first. But

10:39

then the second time, no, he thought it was someone

10:41

else. I don't even know.

10:44

Literally over the years, we've

10:46

had a lot of who did's. I mean, that's

10:49

the thing about, I mean, this

10:51

speaks to storytelling in a general sense too. It's

10:54

like, we're all remembering

10:56

things in different ways. The

10:59

way we perceive everything. I'm

11:02

very visual. And

11:04

Jen has an extraordinary sense

11:06

of hearing and smell. And my sense

11:08

of smell is junk. Great.

11:11

Love that for you. So

11:16

like she'll be like, I smell mildew

11:18

and I'm like, I smell nothing. I

11:20

haven't smelled anything for years. Yeah.

11:22

Yeah. First of all, I am the smell 100 percent.

11:25

Yeah. Jonas is the auditory. I am the smell.

11:27

I am the long term memory.

11:29

Jonas is the short term memory. Like I

11:32

cannot remember what happened yesterday, but I could literally word

11:34

for word, detail for detail, tell you the

11:36

time that I like sucked on a penny to get out of school

11:38

and ended up accidentally faking an appendicitis.

11:42

She

11:42

slept on a penny? Sucked

11:44

on a penny. Sucked on a penny.

11:45

I heard a rumor that if you sucked on a

11:47

penny, it would make your mouth really hot. And you remember

11:49

like the temperature, like thermometers that

11:51

had the blue dots that you like. Sure. Yeah. And so

11:54

it like was off the charts and she's like, oh

11:56

my gosh. So then did a digital one. And then she was like, you

11:58

need to go to the hospital right now.

11:59

like 110 degrees, like so

12:02

hot from this penny. Have you heard that? Do you

12:04

hear this story? No, no, I

12:06

heard it. Okay. Well, so then, yeah, so

12:08

then I'm like faking it and I'm really

12:10

trying to sell it because my first two friends went in before

12:12

me and they couldn't sell it. And so I was like, well, it's

12:14

up to me now. You know what I mean? I really want to go

12:16

home. So now I'm like, I'm very unwell.

12:18

And she's like,

12:19

you need to go to the doctor. And I'm like, that's not what,

12:21

I just wanted to go home. I don't want to go to the doctor. That

12:23

like ruins the whole point. So then I

12:26

am going to the doctor and the doc. And I'm like, now I'm

12:28

like, I have a side ache, like my lower, my side.

12:31

And my doctor's like, you need to take her across

12:33

the street to like the pediatrician hospital,

12:36

or child's hospital right now.

12:37

And how old are you at this point? I'm in second

12:39

grade. Oh, wow. And then

12:42

now I'm trying, like from the doctors to the hospital

12:44

trying to tell them like,

12:46

I was lying. But now they think I'm telling

12:48

them, I'm like lying about lying because they think

12:50

I just don't want to go to the hospital. Right. And

12:52

they were like, you definitely have an appendicitis. You're in denial. And

12:55

I was like, I do not. I just wanted a day off.

12:57

Like, please do not like take me to the hospital. I

12:59

was admitted for three days. Because

13:02

they could not believe that I was lying because

13:04

they just thought I was afraid.

13:05

At that point you had told them. Everyone. I

13:08

had told everybody. I tried to fake

13:10

you out. And they were like, well, now we

13:12

have to check. Because with a kid,

13:14

they're very cautious about like parent

13:17

and child dynamic and like, and you're

13:19

safe at home, like all of that. So all of that was happening.

13:21

And I'm just, I just

13:23

felt so bad. I'm trying to tell my mom, I lied.

13:26

So she's trying to tell them that I lied. And

13:28

then that makes it look worse. Because if a parent's like,

13:30

kids are lying, then that's like,

13:32

makes it even. It was a whole

13:34

situation. And finally I got out. Yeah.

13:37

And I shared a room with a girl. Why do they feel like they have to

13:39

lie? Yes. Why does she need to lie to get out

13:41

of school? Like all of it. And I

13:44

shared a room with a girl that was actually

13:46

like had an appendicitis. And it was like, I'm about to burst.

13:48

Like get me out of here. Like my appendix doesn't want to be in my

13:50

body anymore. And I'm just sitting there

13:52

like, can I order another thing of mashed potatoes?

13:54

Cause those were so good. Oh my God. Like,

13:57

yeah. So I got my day off.

13:58

You were in it for three days. Three days. Oh

14:01

my gosh. I don't remember why I started that story.

14:03

Oh, the sucked on a penny. Memory. Oh,

14:06

memory, yeah, so there you go, see? No short term

14:08

memory, but I have a very good

14:09

one. See? See? See?

14:12

See? Why were we

14:14

talking about that?

14:15

Memory,

14:19

see? See? Very strong.

14:21

That was great. Very strong and seen.

14:24

And this is our improv group. It's

14:26

the Mike and Elise Show. Da da

14:28

da da da da da da da da da da da

14:31

da da da da da da. There we go.

14:49

Has this ever happened to you? You do a ton of research

14:51

on doctors in your area, digging into their

14:53

specialties, your friends' recommendations, and

14:56

just about every single thing ever written

14:58

about them online, you go to book them and

15:00

then you realize they don't take your insurance.

15:03

I have definitely been in that boat, so that's why

15:05

I'm grateful ZocDoc exists. ZocDoc

15:07

is a free app where you can find amazing

15:09

doctors and book appointments online. We're

15:12

talking about booking appointments with thousands

15:14

of top rated, patient reviewed doctors and

15:16

specialists. You can filter specifically

15:19

for ones who take your insurance are located

15:21

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15:23

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15:24

These docs all have verified reviews from

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Plus the average wait time to see a doctor

15:31

booked on ZocDoc is just between 24 and 48 hours.

15:35

That's it. You can even score same day appointments.

15:37

Go to ZocDoc.com slash Elise

15:40

and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then

15:42

find and book a top rated doctor today. That's

15:45

Z-O-C-D-O-C.com

15:47

slash Elise. ZocDoc.com

15:49

slash Elise.

15:52

You guys know that I think that raising kids can

15:55

be one of the greatest rewards of a

15:57

parent's life, but let's be real. Some

15:59

days parents.

15:59

can be relentless. I

16:02

love my kid, but is a

16:04

new parenting podcast from Wondery that

16:06

shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take

16:08

on parenting. The show is hosted by comedians

16:11

Megan Gailey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt

16:13

Browneller, aka your resident

16:15

not-so-expert experts. Each week

16:18

they'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing,

16:20

nodding, and thinking, yes, I have

16:22

absolutely been there. They'll

16:24

talk about what went right and wrong, what

16:27

would they do differently, and maybe next time

16:29

you step on yet another stray Lego in the

16:31

middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So

16:33

if you'd like to laugh while listening to comedians vent

16:35

about the hardest job in the world, stay

16:38

tuned until the end of this episode to hear a

16:40

preview of I Love My Kid, but...

16:50

That's why you know you this week though. I was

16:53

like, I was a senior episode, we

16:55

talk about how you don't perform on stage. Yeah. And

16:57

I think your wonderful storyteller and I feel like you could

16:59

really connect with people if you

17:02

were in a room with them in a way that

17:04

what you do on socials

17:07

is deep, but I think that in a room

17:09

could be deep in a different way. And you,

17:11

on your podcast,

17:14

which I love, you said I'm

17:16

just terrified of being

17:18

in front of people.

17:19

And then I was like,

17:22

so then I'm doing a bunch of shows

17:24

and working out new material. And I was like, you know, you could

17:26

just, if you wanted to, you could just pop in, be

17:29

an unbuilt guest, you know, no one

17:31

would know you. It would just be like, my

17:33

friend Elise is here, she can tell story for seven

17:35

minutes and whatever. And then you could, then

17:37

you wouldn't be afraid of it anymore. And then you were like,

17:39

that's definitely how it works too. Yeah.

17:44

You've definitely out

17:47

here. Burned. That's

17:50

on me, that's not on you. I love that you're so confident

17:52

in yourself that you're like, and then it's done, you're cured.

17:55

And then that's it. Weirdly, I

17:57

believe that to be true. And I stand

17:59

by it. I believe that you believe that, 100%

18:03

A burned man standing

18:05

before you. You're not working. I double

18:08

down. I double

18:09

down on it. But that is why you're doing what you're doing,

18:12

is because you have such confidence.

18:14

And I know I can't, I'm not, I don't think I can't

18:16

do it. I know I can do it. Of course you can do it. And

18:18

like, it's the,

18:20

it's, you wanna know what it is? Honestly,

18:22

it's the fear that like, I

18:24

can't blame it on anyone else but me. I

18:26

get that. With online, I don't

18:29

have to have any immediate reaction from

18:31

anybody. I tell a story that I find

18:33

funny. And if you don't like it,

18:36

then you're just not gonna see the video and that's fine.

18:38

Cause I don't have to see your reaction. I don't have

18:40

to go in the comments. I can blame it on the algorithm

18:42

if it doesn't do well. Like there are so

18:45

many things that, that can

18:47

play into a video not getting seen.

18:49

And so if I am standing in

18:51

front of an audience and I say something

18:54

and it is silent,

18:56

I think I would just start crying.

18:59

Like genuinely I am

19:01

so,

19:02

I fake so much confidence that

19:05

that would be a moment. I could feel that a confidence

19:07

would genuinely crumble. Now

19:10

will that stop me from doing it? No, because

19:12

like I do not want there to be anything in my life that

19:14

I was like too afraid to do. So I just didn't do it.

19:17

So I want to get to that point. But

19:19

now it's the point where it's like the skill

19:22

of writing a set that is concise

19:24

and like performable in front of people and not edit

19:27

it. Like that is what I don't have. And

19:29

so I wouldn't even know where to start. If

19:31

you're to be like here's seven minutes.

19:32

Well then I'll tell you where to start. Yes. So

19:35

take the story you just told,

19:37

but fake and sick

19:38

and you just memorize it. You already know

19:40

it. Yeah. You go on stage

19:43

in an environment like being a guest

19:45

that I don't want my shows where like people aren't expecting

19:48

to see you and they go, okay, what's this? You

19:51

do three minutes. You tell that story. I'm

19:53

just going to tell you one story tonight and it

19:55

might not be funny. And then you tell the story and you

19:57

walk off stage and you go, ah. There's

20:00

a couple laughs. There's a laugh. Here's

20:02

a laugh. Here's a laugh. Here's a laugh here How come this

20:04

didn't get a laugh and then you start to take it apart

20:07

and just go like like, okay

20:10

If I supplemented a joke here or I dropped in

20:12

a joke that I tell usually in another story Here

20:15

or add color here and I think like

20:17

because

20:17

because here's my question to you is like it's

20:20

like what like in your mind

20:22

what's the worst thing that can happen like if I if I Had

20:25

three on stage in a black box theater with a hundred people

20:28

in the audience Like what like and is

20:30

like hey just do walk up and tell a story

20:32

for three or four minutes Just like we're doing now, but there's

20:34

a hundred people. Yeah, worst thing that happened. I

20:37

Think honestly the worst thing that could

20:39

happen is like Well,

20:43

I'm terrified of fainting in front of a bunch But

20:49

second like

20:50

I don't know how you do it with like if

20:52

someone has one impression of you That's the only time

20:54

they're ever gonna might see you on

20:56

and a performance and they're gonna walk away And

20:59

that is the thing they're gonna remember about you And

21:01

that's hard to change when somebody has formed

21:03

an opinion of like she's not good at this Yeah

21:05

like it's really hard to come back from that

21:08

versus like Someone being really good at something

21:10

once and then being terrible at it the next time being like oh, but she's

21:12

actually good I saw her last time. She's really good.

21:15

So I don't I that's just a confidence

21:17

thing to like like not caring Like

21:20

I'm gonna I'm gonna do a double step

21:23

Process for you getting on stage because

21:25

I'm taking I'm taking apart all of them

21:27

I'm thinking wait all the very well did

21:29

they say this I mean this is like an old thing in sales It's

21:31

like it's like if someone doesn't want to buy

21:34

something go through all yeah, I'll

21:36

take all their objections be like, okay What

21:38

about this? What about this? How you know and

21:40

with yours is like, okay. Well people

21:43

will be like, oh, she's not good at this

21:45

Well, then we do

21:47

a thing where I do

21:49

a show somewhere. You're not billed No

21:51

one knows you there. I got mean build people.

21:53

It's not featuring Elise Myers.

21:55

I thought you mean like invoice like Like

21:58

I'm gonna bill her for that. I'm just like I

22:00

didn't realize that's how that worked. That feels backwards. So

22:02

I charge you $40,000 to walk on stage with me, because

22:07

honestly it's gonna pay off in the long term.

22:09

It's an investment in your future. Like

22:12

you're on my stage, this is great for

22:14

you. It's my weird pyramid

22:17

scheme in my middle age. And you

22:19

go and you get 10 comedians and

22:21

you can take a cut of that 40 grand.

22:24

And at the end of the day, you'll be a millionaire.

22:26

You have a real conspiratorial

22:29

mind, Elise Myers. I'm

22:31

just afraid of everything. Yeah, exactly. You're

22:35

really throwing punches where there's no

22:37

foe.

22:38

I've seen so many documentaries about

22:40

MLMs. It's amazing. No, so

22:42

here's the plan. Here's the plan.

22:43

So we're in mass and you're unbuilt. In

22:46

other words, it doesn't say Elise Myers anywhere on the

22:48

thing. It's just a Mike Purbiglia show. In

22:51

the middle of the show you go, oh,

22:53

my friend is here tonight. She's one of my favorite

22:55

storytellers. I'm gonna bring her on stage. Please

22:57

welcome my buddy, Elise Myers. And

23:00

you come on stage,

23:01

we have two microphones.

23:03

I go, will you tell the story about this?

23:06

You tell the story, we're both on stage. And

23:08

then you're like, oh, okay. And then it's like

23:10

the two person thing. And then you go, well,

23:12

what would it be like if it was one person, just me

23:15

the next time? It's like a stair

23:17

step. I really like that. I

23:20

really like that. I think honestly,

23:23

anything is possible. I

23:26

really genuinely feel like the fears

23:28

that you're asking me about and I'm telling you about aren't things that are gonna keep

23:30

me from doing it from this point forward. It's just like,

23:33

this is the irrational thing that's happening in my brain

23:35

that gets in the way as I try and write. And

23:37

so the longer that I've been in this career too and

23:40

the more people I've met and the bigger the crowds

23:42

that I've spoken to just about, even

23:44

yesterday, the event, things

23:45

like that. Oh, so you've done that, which is the

23:47

same thing basically. Yeah, I'm not,

23:49

but the pressure to make people laugh.

23:52

You did an event yesterday where you were

23:54

kind of on a panel. Someone

23:56

asking just me questions. But the

23:58

pressure to be funny, that is...

23:59

is the part that is like

24:01

the scary part for me. Because

24:04

I feel very comfortable talking. It's

24:06

like, it's just, I don't know. It's like this weird,

24:09

it's like when I get asked to like act

24:11

in something, I'm aware that you know I'm acting

24:14

and so I feel like I'm lying and you're like, she's lying.

24:16

She's acting, this isn't her. So

24:19

the weird understanding of like, I'm at a comedy

24:21

show and this person's gonna make me laugh is that

24:23

is, what's interesting, because that pressure isn't

24:26

in a TikTok, because nobody

24:28

knows the point of a video when it

24:30

starts. Whatever

24:31

happens in the video happens. And it's like,

24:34

so at a comedy show, the expectation

24:36

is like, you need to be funny, you need to make me laugh.

24:39

And then that's where I feel like if I don't meet

24:41

that, I've totally failed. But it's just,

24:43

that just comes from an experience. And so I

24:46

think that learning how to structure a story and

24:49

honestly, I was gonna ask you like, so if I were to tell a

24:51

story on a stage,

24:53

because it's like the punchline situation,

24:55

like. The punchline

24:57

situation. I mean like the actual jail part. That should be the name

24:59

of your comedy. This whole punchline situation,

25:02

look, listen. And if

25:04

I always fail, just like go to like Jerry's time, be like,

25:06

you like

25:07

jazz, like just go straight there. It's like

25:09

the comedy equivalent of like, and then I found $5 kind of

25:11

a thing. But anyways. I don't follow that. Oh.

25:16

Like, have you ever been telling

25:18

a horror, maybe it's not a well-known thing, maybe it's my

25:20

brothers and me. You know, like when you were telling a

25:22

story and someone's like, this is not

25:24

an interesting story. And then you're like, and then I found $5.

25:28

Oh,

25:28

that's very funny. I like

25:30

that a lot. And then someone's

25:32

like, oh my God, no way. And so it

25:34

makes everything else you just said completely irrelevant.

25:37

Did you make that up? I don't know. I thought

25:39

everyone did that.

25:39

You thought that that was like a street joke. Like it's

25:42

common demand. Well, yeah,

25:44

but then you and my brothers like burn each other. Cause if you're

25:46

telling a really like boring story, you're

25:48

like, did you find $5 after that? Oh

25:50

my God, that's so funny. My

25:52

joke about that is that Net Universe is that I

25:54

go, like once a week, my

25:56

dad will call me and he'll be like

25:59

the crazy. the craziest thing happened. I'm like, what?

26:02

He'll be like, I was at the hardware store and

26:05

I was talking to someone and they had heard of you.

26:08

And I was like, that's not the craziest thing. That's

26:10

not a story even. That's not the crazy,

26:13

that is a fact. That's not even a story. Yeah, that's just

26:15

the thing that happened. That is a fact about your day. Yeah. I

26:17

find that very often

26:20

people will come up to me and they'll be

26:22

like, I have a crazy story. And then

26:25

they tell it and you go, you're kind of waiting for

26:27

the story to start. But actually last night I

26:29

was doing this benefit show where

26:32

a guy actually told me when that was pretty good. Like

26:34

when he first met his wife,

26:37

I think it was his mother-in-law was

26:40

making chicken and they ran out of chicken. And

26:42

then she offered, she

26:45

was like, she was offering everybody more chicken and someone

26:47

said yes and there wasn't chicken. So she literally did

26:50

the thing where she covered bones

26:52

with skin and put it on someone's plate.

26:54

And then the person was just

26:56

like, but this is not

27:00

chicken. And it was like one of the

27:02

rare moments where I was like, this is a pretty good

27:04

story. Was this a party

27:06

or just like was it a night? Yeah, it was

27:08

like him, I think it was him meeting his wife many years

27:10

ago and it was like, is the in-laws? Did

27:13

people watch it happen? I think

27:15

so. I think it was like pretty outward

27:17

facing at the party. Like it was a thing

27:19

that happened. I know and

27:21

I was like, that's an- I have so many questions. No,

27:23

but I don't have the answers. It's not my story.

27:26

But I did that, I said to him, I go, usually

27:29

people tell me stories and they're not that great.

27:31

And that actually is kind of a great tidbit.

27:33

I would love for someone to tell me

27:35

that story for 10 minutes with every detail

27:37

that I possibly get. All

27:39

right, but back to you performing. So like, okay, then

27:42

this is the key pivot. This

27:44

is where it becomes actualized.

27:48

Yeah. What's the upside of

27:51

you telling a story on stage? Oh,

27:53

I conquer one of my greatest fears and it's a huge

27:55

success and I keep doing

27:58

it. Three. I'm wildly

28:00

successful as a standup comedian. Okay. I

28:04

have a lot of fun doing it. That's five,

28:06

I'll give you six. You

28:08

make people happy. Oh, yeah.

28:11

I think you would. We

28:14

can do it. You'd make people happy. Thank

28:16

you, I receive that. People would be so happy. Thank you. I

28:20

just think there's nothing that compares to

28:22

the live experience. Although I have to say, like,

28:25

what is the thing that when you're making these videos

28:28

that's most gratifying?

28:30

So I've talked about it a little bit. I have three like

28:33

values that I, it sounds so serious, but

28:35

like, I have three values that I cycle

28:37

every single piece of content through is, or filter

28:40

through is to make people feel like known,

28:42

loved, and like they belong. Aww. And

28:45

which is like so sappy. It's like, that's not funny. Not sappy. But

28:48

with all of that,

28:49

when I tell stories that people can relate

28:51

to, that's like the known. It's like, that's why it's funny

28:53

is like, that's me in that story. Or like, when

28:56

I encourage people, I want them to feel loved if they don't have

28:58

that in their life and like, like they belong. I

29:00

want to build that community in my content, which

29:02

is why I'm always in my comments and why I

29:04

don't tell jokes that put other people down.

29:07

And like, that's just because that's my style of comedy. Yeah.

29:10

And so those three things are my goal. And so while that

29:12

might not sound funny, comedy

29:14

can happen through those and still bring a lot of value

29:16

to people's lives. So at the end of the day, the laugh

29:18

is great, but that's not

29:19

the end goal. It's to make people know and loved

29:21

or like they belong.

29:22

Yeah. This

29:28

is called the slow round.

29:30

What's a song that makes you cry?

29:33

Oh gosh. I'm,

29:38

this answer is gonna be very unexpected.

29:42

I'm not like a religious person, but

29:44

during Christmas time, when I hear, at Mary,

29:46

did you know, it really gets me.

29:49

I don't know it. Can you sing the

29:51

melody? Mary, did you know when your

29:53

baby boy, duh duh duh, gives

29:56

side to a blind man. It's like, it's

29:58

a song talking to Mary about her.

29:59

like did you know your son was gonna

30:02

be Jesus? I think this must

30:04

be like a local Omaha thing. It's really

30:06

not, Clay Aiken's saying it. Oh

30:08

really? Yeah. I

30:11

know. Did Eric get rid of it? Yeah.

30:13

Oh okay, okay. Oh it's a big song. It's a huge

30:15

song. Oh it's a big song, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:17

But it's feel, because now especially being a mom, I don't,

30:19

that song, I'm just like, my son's gonna be

30:21

great about it. Like it's a very, it's

30:23

a big. Your son's gonna be Jesus. No, no,

30:26

but it's a very powerful image

30:28

of like talking to a mom about like, did you

30:30

have any clue like what your son

30:32

would do

30:33

one day? Oh, that's sweet. It's a little

30:35

bit like Dear Theodosia's like that. Where

30:37

it's like emotional. It is. In

30:39

this kind of letter to my child.

30:40

Yeah, now whether you believe the stories

30:44

that are being sung about, the

30:46

theme is like

30:48

this man did these great things and you're

30:50

singing to the mom of this man of like, did you have

30:53

any clue he would do, and that's a

30:54

very powerful image. That song always makes me cry.

30:57

Yeah, that's a good one. What about you?

30:59

I can't make you love me,

31:01

Bonnie, right? Okay.

31:03

What's a specific place that

31:06

isn't your home where you feel like home? Man.

31:13

That isn't my home that I feel like home. This

31:18

isn't like a place, but it's like a place within any place

31:20

is on the floor, behind

31:22

like a chair or couch where I'm like hiding.

31:25

I love that. I feel so

31:27

dark. No, no, I don't think it's dark.

31:29

I really like being in small spaces that feel

31:31

like my own that I'm like, I'm good.

31:34

No one's gonna come like bother me here. You're

31:36

like a cat. Yeah, I'm

31:38

a cat. My cats do that. Yeah, I'm a cat.

31:41

You can't, you have cats? No, I

31:43

am a cat. You are a cat, yeah. But like,

31:45

yeah, my cats go places and we're

31:48

like, I guess the cats ran away.

31:50

I think she died down there, I don't really know. But

31:54

we can't find them. Yeah. I guess

31:56

they got out. Yeah, that was like always

31:58

my signal to my roommates.

31:59

that I would work on the floor, I'd

32:02

have my laptop on the ground and we had a

32:04

table, we have chairs, I could have gone anywhere, but

32:06

we had a couch that was kind of back

32:08

to facing the sliding door to

32:10

our balcony and I would lay on the floor and do

32:13

all of my homework there and it was kind of like this unspoken

32:15

thing of if I'm here, kind of just

32:17

life is a little bit too much and I just wanna be here

32:19

and do my work and I'll come out and everything

32:22

will be good and we don't have to talk about it. So

32:24

that's a very good hard read set for

32:26

me. I love that. Thanks. I have a

32:28

good connection to like

32:29

my parents' childhood carpet.

32:32

Like when I was a kid, their bedroom carpet

32:34

in the summer

32:35

when, because they had the only air conditioning unit

32:37

in the house and so when it got super

32:40

hot in Massachusetts in the summer and

32:42

it got really hot, I would

32:44

go in and sleep on the floor and I remember the smell

32:46

of the carpet. Would the carpet get cold if you,

32:48

if like no one walked in, I love that. It's nice.

32:52

Oh. And very, yeah, very nostalgic for

32:54

me. You talk about

32:56

this one of your stories. Maybe you don't wanna do

32:58

it. Do

32:59

you remember the toughest crush from your childhood?

33:04

Yeah, I do. I do. It

33:07

was a boy I really, really liked and we dated

33:10

and he was like my best friend and we actually dated

33:13

twice the first time he

33:15

asked me out as a prank and like, Yes,

33:17

I said. And then we like dated but like we didn't talk for her

33:19

the whole week we dated and then like I got broken up with

33:21

by like a casual conversation. Like

33:23

we're not dating still, right? Right, of course.

33:26

The second time we

33:28

dated for like a year and we were like best friends

33:30

and we just never, we were never meant to date,

33:33

we were always meant to be best friends but we didn't know that

33:35

because you think if you like someone

33:37

and they're the opposite gender and you're in high school, then

33:39

the natural next step is like then we should

33:42

date but like never like just stay friends.

33:44

And we dated and then one day we

33:46

were like,

33:47

we should just go back to being best friends and

33:50

we just did and nothing changed. Like we

33:52

were just like very, very good friends

33:54

and we still communicate today and it's like

33:56

really, really sweet.

33:57

What's your take away from the experience?

34:00

I think that like not everything

34:03

that you, not everything that's good needs to be elevated

34:05

to be more than that. Like sometimes it's okay

34:08

that like something that's like good, just

34:10

leaving it good, it doesn't have to be like great. Like yeah,

34:13

because great could ruin good and like just

34:15

leave it good sometimes.

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37:02

This is a section of the show called From

37:04

the Notebook. Oh, yes. And

37:07

it's, I'll start with this one. One

37:10

morning I'm at a cafe and I

37:12

dropped, Una was three at the time, at

37:14

the like musical camp or ballet

37:16

or

37:17

some kind of group activity where you can leave your child for

37:19

three hours. It could have been like

37:21

a bin that said toddlers and

37:23

I would be like, dropped her in and been like, enjoy

37:26

bin class. And

37:28

so I'm with the other like bin

37:31

class parents at the

37:33

cafe and I'm exhausted

37:36

holding a coffee.

37:37

And I look up to sort of take in the

37:40

nature of the day.

37:41

And from about 30 feet in the air,

37:43

a bird shits in my eye,

37:45

like directly into my eye.

37:48

And first of all, great aim, bird.

37:52

Way to go, bird. You really nailed

37:55

it. Second of all, if this hasn't

37:57

happened to you, all you need to know is that anything

37:59

dropped from 30 feet in the air and your eye

38:01

hurts physically a lot. Yes. But

38:04

when the cumbersome liquid pellet

38:06

is fecal matter, it hurts spiritually.

38:10

The whole emotional. And I shouted,

38:13

I go, ah. Or

38:16

as my daughter, Una, uses

38:19

when describing her favorite dinosaur, the Hooting

38:21

Hydrosaur, I squawked. I squawked.

38:24

I'm gonna need to hear an example of that. It's like, ah.

38:27

Okay, okay. So the moment

38:29

I squawked, my friend

38:31

Rob, who is with me, knows I'm a comedian,

38:33

looks over to me,

38:35

and he goes, well, it's

38:36

good material. Yeah. And

38:39

I was like, Rob, there's

38:41

still bird shit in my eye. This

38:44

is something you say after I've cleaned it up.

38:47

It's comedy tragedy plus time. And

38:49

I still have the bird shit in my eye. There's no time

38:51

yet. Yeah, we're gonna need it. Yeah, we're

38:53

at zero seconds past.

38:56

And I jocked back into the

38:58

coffee shop. I asked for a glass of water, flushed my

39:00

eye with water. On

39:02

the plus side,

39:03

the bird shit really woke me up.

39:06

Which

39:08

was the point of the cafe in the first place,

39:10

right? And then. Oh my God, that's

39:13

so disgusting. The coffee was nice, but the 70

39:15

mile an hour bird shit delivery

39:17

really closed the deal. It really did happen.

39:20

I feel like they could market that as a bird shit

39:22

latte. You drink two shots of espresso,

39:24

a bird shit's in your eye, 40 bucks. A

39:27

charté. Exactly, in Northern

39:29

California, they'd call it a bird

39:31

shit cleanse. People

39:34

would say, have you done the bird shit cleanse? Fun, a

39:36

little expensive, but they do have to pay

39:38

the pigeon wrangler. My

39:41

bird shit experience drove home a larger

39:43

point in my life, which is that comedy is tragedy

39:45

plus time or very least pain plus

39:47

a year. So as I arrive

39:50

at middle age, I've started to zero in on

39:52

my purpose. And I think it's to share stories

39:55

that weren't funny at the time,

39:57

but I'd like to think are funny now. And

39:59

of course, I'm just.

39:59

I'm mocking myself to be clear, in

40:06

my stories, because in my stories, for

40:08

the most part, I'm the joke later, which

40:11

is harkens back to a line from another special. No

40:13

hate to the bird. I love the

40:15

bird. I just go really deep. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah,

40:17

the target of the joke is the bird somehow. Like,

40:21

let me get this, like, I want you to get this straight. I

40:23

am not against birds. Like, so driving

40:25

that home of like, no one literally

40:27

thought you were anti-birds until you are

40:30

trying to convince

40:30

me you're not. No, exactly, exactly.

40:33

And also Rob is maybe the villain, although Rob

40:35

is really just saying something that's true.

40:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, that'll be something. That'll,

40:40

yeah. And it is.

40:41

The, I

40:43

think that comedy is, you

40:46

know, tragedy plus time, and you're like, at least

40:48

pain plus a year.

40:49

Yeah. That is

40:52

like, that's a really

40:54

good point of the story where

40:56

you, it goes from funny to

40:58

like heartfelt, is like that's

41:00

a good little like, turn the corner there at that

41:02

moment. Thanks, yeah, it's funny. Like, I,

41:05

obviously your podcast is funny because it's true.

41:08

Yeah, I'm guessing. And like, you and I like

41:11

playing the similar sandbox

41:13

or playing the same sandbox of telling

41:15

stories. And it's like,

41:16

I always tell people,

41:19

you know, write

41:21

down what you're saddest about or angriest

41:24

about in a journal. Sometimes for yourself,

41:26

like it's helpful to just contextualize your

41:28

life as a story. And when you can

41:30

see your life as a story, you can zoom out and encourage

41:32

the main character to make better decisions.

41:34

Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, I

41:36

attribute a lot of my memory of like

41:39

back in the day, because I have done so much journaling.

41:42

I remember reading back what I wrote and that act

41:44

of like writing, reading, and like internalizing

41:47

helps you understand what you're experiencing, and then it also

41:50

helps you remember it. And so it's really

41:52

interesting, like if you are a creative in

41:54

any way, whether it is writing or it's art or

41:56

anything, I always suggest writing things down because

41:58

it allows you to do it.

41:59

you to add another layer of emotion where it's like you

42:02

experience things through somebody else in

42:04

yourself. Like you see it the way another person

42:06

would see it in your life. That

42:08

things are funny just sometimes because they're

42:10

true is like a really, really beautiful

42:13

thing because I think too as things are going

42:15

really horribly in your life, like I

42:18

have learned to laugh about them because I know

42:20

they will be funny later because I've made

42:22

them funny now from 10 years ago. And

42:24

so honestly, it

42:27

might be labeled as like a trauma response of just like

42:29

laughing when something horrible happens. You know, that

42:31

might not be healthy. But if you can

42:33

do it in a healthy way, I think it's like a very good way to

42:35

separate yourself from like horrible things that are happening

42:37

at the moment.

42:38

No, I think that's absolutely true. Yeah. Do

42:40

you have any stories you're working out or do you want me to just continue

42:43

and tell you one more story? Tell me one more story. Okay, great.

42:46

Usually I just do jokes, but since you're storytelling,

42:48

I'll tell you stories. I love it. All right. A

42:51

few years ago, Jenny and I rented a house in the country

42:54

for the holidays and it was very special

42:58

until we turned on the heat. And

43:01

then there just wasn't heat. Oh no,

43:03

oh no. And it's Thanksgiving. I called the

43:05

oil company and they said they could come

43:08

that night between 6.30 and 9.30 PM

43:11

with 10 gallons of oil to prime the heating system,

43:14

make sure it's ready for one of those like super

43:16

tankers of oil that drive around. And

43:18

before this incident, I didn't even know what

43:20

those things did. I just

43:24

saw them driving around. I thought maybe

43:27

those guys are just

43:29

driving around and they're

43:32

listening. Maybe they really like driving. Yeah, they just like driving.

43:34

They're listening to AM talk radio. They're making

43:36

jokes on the CB radio. Maybe they're

43:38

just perpetually driving in circles using

43:41

the oil in the tank.

43:42

That's just a reserve gas tank.

43:44

Exactly. So the window

43:46

was 6.30 to 9.30 and I wait in the doorway and

43:50

because it's one of those things where I'm like,

43:52

I'm not going to miss the window. No. And I'm

43:55

like a goaltender. I'm like blocking the

43:57

front steps. For three hours. For three

43:59

hours.

44:01

and no one showed up.

44:02

I called the company, the company's called Petro. And

44:06

I said, hey, it's 930, no one showed

44:08

up. And

44:10

they said, our guy said,

44:12

he showed up, no one answered the door, he left a

44:14

little card on your door. I go,

44:16

I'm on the door, no card. I've

44:19

been here the whole time. And I didn't shout,

44:23

but I was angry. He could sense

44:25

this.

44:26

And then he replied, happy

44:28

Thanksgiving, which

44:31

felt passive aggressive. Did

44:34

he hang up? No, he just said happy Thanksgiving. And

44:36

it was a good tactical move in hindsight.

44:39

It forced me to say happy Thanksgiving

44:41

to you too.

44:42

Like angry, like happy

44:45

Thanksgiving to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, happy

44:47

Thanksgiving. I said, happy Thanksgiving

44:50

to you too. Even though he was

44:52

completely fucking me over in real time lying

44:55

to me like the pilgrims. So

44:59

the Petro guy says,

45:00

the technician will come over to your house, that

45:03

he's after the house he's currently at.

45:06

Get a phone call at 1030, it's the technician.

45:10

And he says, I'm a half hour away. I say,

45:12

I'll stay up all night. So the man from Petro

45:14

shows up at 11, 15 PM. He gets out

45:16

of the van, he says, I am Petro. And I'm looking

45:18

at his truck

45:19

and says, Petro.

45:21

And I'm exhausted, like I'm like out of

45:23

it.

45:24

And I think there's no way his name is Petro.

45:26

And he works for a company named Petro. I can't

45:28

possibly call him Petro.

45:31

Cause he might be like, why would you call me

45:33

the name of my company?

45:35

And I'd be so embarrassed. So I go,

45:37

come on in man.

45:39

And it got me self-conscious about my use of the word

45:41

man. I was like, Pedro's

45:44

gotta be 10 years older than me. I'm using the casual

45:46

man all of a sudden. So

45:48

then I modified, I go, right this

45:51

way, sir.

45:52

And then I thought, what am I? I'm some kind of weird blue-blooded rich

45:54

guy who calls everyone sir. So

45:57

Pedro and I work on this for a little bit.

45:59

which means he works on it. I bring him tea. Yeah.

46:02

At 1 a.m. Pedro says, I don't know what

46:05

to tell you, Mike. I cannot fix this thing.

46:07

I said, okay, sir.

46:08

He tried to call his company, but his phone was doing

46:10

an update.

46:11

So I said, I'll call them.

46:14

I said, hi, this is Mike Birbiglia. I'm here

46:16

with, and I could see in Pedro's eyes that he

46:18

really thought I should know his name by now.

46:20

I said, the man from your company.

46:22

Oh. I'm

46:25

gonna put him on speaker so he can identify himself

46:27

and explain the rest. So

46:29

I put him on speaker and

46:31

he says, hi, this is Pedro. Got

46:33

it. Got it. In an evening full

46:35

of failures, at least I know his name is Pedro.

46:38

From that point on, I use the name Pedro a lot.

46:42

And I committed to memory by a mnemonic

46:45

device, which is Pedro works for Pedro.

46:48

So Pedro tells me this is way

46:50

over his head and that he's gonna send a technician

46:52

in the morning first thing to fix it. Then he tells

46:54

me to call Pedro in the morning

46:56

and explain that I

46:59

have a baby and that this is dangerous.

47:01

He knows I do not have a baby.

47:03

He knows my daughter's like five years old. And

47:05

then we've talked about our kids.

47:07

He knows we, I don't have a baby. He

47:09

knows my daughter's five. We've talked about our kids at this

47:11

point. We've spent a lot of time together in Pedro. But

47:16

apparently

47:17

if you want heat, you really have to raise the stakes.

47:21

You have to say you have a baby. And

47:25

so in the morning I wake up, I

47:27

call, I go,

47:28

you gotta understand we got a baby. This

47:31

baby might die. He's

47:33

like, oh no. And

47:36

you're all going to hell. Happy

47:39

Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, exactly,

47:41

yeah, yeah. And so at 1 p.m.,

47:46

this guy Charlie comes over

47:48

and Charlie goes, I'm gonna get you heat.

47:51

And there's something about Charlie's confidence

47:53

that makes me feel like he's gonna get us heat. Also

47:56

made me want to have sex with Charlie, even though I'm

47:58

a heterosexual man.

47:59

I was happily married. I just thought, Charlie's

48:02

looking good. You're saving the day? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

48:04

You're saving my hypothetical baby. Yeah. This

48:07

is the line I wrote, I like cut it out, but

48:09

I wrote it for today.

48:11

I wrote, Charlie brought the heat, which

48:13

made me want to give him the heat. Maybe

48:16

it's too much, maybe it's too much. Char...

48:19

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha.

48:21

Ha ha ha ha. It might be too much.

48:24

It's something in that universe, because I've done

48:26

this on stage a couple of times, and made

48:28

me want to have sex with Charlie is actually

48:30

the biggest line in it right now. Yeah. Because

48:33

I think there's something relatable about when someone,

48:36

anyone, is wildly competent,

48:39

and you've been dealing with complete and total incompetence.

48:41

Like, you're just like, oh, I'm attracted to this person. I

48:44

think we'll be physically intimate. Yes, I think it's

48:46

time that we're physically intimate. An

48:48

hour later, Charlie fixes the heat, and I have

48:50

a $100 bill in my wallet

48:51

and nothing else. I never use cash, I ran

48:53

a $100 bill.

48:55

Charlie fixes the heat, I hand him a $100 bill. But

48:58

he goes, no, no, it's not a tipping thing.

49:00

You never know. And then I

49:02

take his hand, and I

49:05

put a $100 bill in his hand, and I go,

49:07

happy Thanksgiving. Ha ha ha ha. So

49:11

anyway, that's a news story. I've been doing that for

49:14

six weeks or something.

49:15

The baby situation is getting worse and worse. To

49:17

me is the funniest line. That

49:19

is the line. That's interesting. That is like, this

49:23

makes no sense. It makes no sense. It

49:26

conveys the entire idea of the whole

49:29

story, is the baby situation's getting worse

49:31

and worse. There's so much in that sentence.

49:34

So what I was gonna say too was, when

49:37

the part after you learned his name,

49:39

I wanted you to say his name so many more times

49:41

when you're talking about him. Oh yes, yes, Pedro,

49:44

come right in. I wanna talk to you about something. Yeah, but like

49:46

when you're talking. I wanna hear something else, Pedro. But again, when you're

49:48

talking to the audience about Pedro, and

49:50

then Pedro told me to say I had a baby,

49:54

because Pedro and I have been

49:55

talking to him. Oh, that's nice. From that

49:57

point on, Pedro gets said 100 times. A million

49:59

times. I love that. That's super strong. Yeah,

50:02

anyways, that's what I thought. You know, and maybe, and

50:04

just as we're talking about it out loud of like having

50:06

the, made me wanna have sex with Charlie. I mean,

50:09

it made me wanna have sex with Charlie, which goes to

50:11

the source of,

50:13

of I think the reason I'm fixing the heat in the

50:15

first place is I want my wife to want

50:17

to have sex with me the way that I wanna have sex

50:19

with Charlie.

50:19

I wanna be Charlie. I wanna be

50:21

Charlie. I want to be Charlie. I wanna be Charlie. That

50:24

makes sense. Maybe that's what the story's about. You

50:26

wanna fix it. You wanna fix it. I

50:28

mean, like there's a dual purpose happening

50:30

in this story and in real life, certainly.

50:32

It's like, I'm always trying to impress my wife. I'm always

50:34

trying to be like awesome.

50:37

And then, and then with

50:39

my daughter, I'm just trying, I mean, the whole thing of

50:41

being a parent is about making sure they stay alive and

50:44

warm. Yeah. So you're just like, I gotta get

50:46

them heat.

50:46

Well, I think it, honestly, that story

50:49

to cap it might be funny if

50:51

you start with the idea of like,

50:54

cause you're on vacation, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This

50:56

is a crossing a line, Tommy, but like. No, please,

50:59

there is no crossing a line. Like

51:01

vacation sex, right? Okay, great. So

51:04

you're like, I want this to be a nice, fun experience, but you

51:06

don't have warmth. You are trying to get this

51:08

fixed. Charlie finally leaves or whatever you

51:10

go. And then after this whole, his name is

51:12

Charlie, right? Yeah. This whole situation

51:14

is like, now I wanna have sex with Charlie because like

51:17

he's fixed this problem for me and he leaves and then you're like,

51:19

the door closes and you're like, where were we? Like

51:21

kind of like resuming. Oh, that's interesting. This is like,

51:24

this is a way too long of a setup for a very

51:26

simple premise of like things that just happen in normal

51:28

life. Also that could not be funny in any

51:30

way. And then

51:31

you found $5. That's interesting. I think

51:33

that it's worth an experiment actually

51:36

to do something in the universe of talking about

51:39

my relationship with my wife and I'm always

51:41

trying to impress her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One time

51:43

we were on vacation, blah, blah, blah. And there was no heat.

51:45

And I was like, I'm gonna save the day.

51:46

Yeah, more like that. You know what I mean? Like you wanna

51:49

fix the situation. And then like they leave and you're just like,

51:51

I did it. I told you I would do it. And then we had

51:54

sex and I pretended it was Charlie.

52:00

I don't think we're telling different stories.

52:01

No, no, no. It's yes-handing

52:04

and wherever it goes, it goes. No,

52:07

I think that's, I love that. I think, yeah,

52:09

there's a lot. Well, then a lot of the stuff I'm talking

52:11

about on stage lately in the working

52:13

it out shows has been about marriage

52:16

and domesticity. And I'm trying to figure out, and

52:18

I wonder if you deal with this with your videos,

52:20

because I think you have probably a really young audience actually,

52:22

is like you probably have a lot of fans

52:25

who aren't

52:26

married, maybe are in a

52:28

relationship and relate to what you're doing. It's like,

52:31

why do you think they relate to you talking

52:33

about being married?

52:35

You'd be shocked. The

52:37

widest demographic I have is women

52:40

that are like 35 to 45 married in relationships. And

52:44

so I find it harder actually to

52:48

create content that people relate to when I am talking

52:50

about like younger things, which

52:52

is really, like everyone can relate to a funny story from

52:54

your childhood. So you don't have to be that age to relate to that. A

52:57

lot of the stuff, I don't talk about being a mom-in-law,

52:59

but when I do, it is like

53:02

all the comments of like, oh my God, me too. And people

53:04

are looking for that. And so to me,

53:06

it's like that's where I see the most un...

53:09

I don't expect

53:11

that kind of relatability because I

53:13

just forget that people connect to me that are not my age.

53:16

It's really interesting.

53:23

So the final thing we do is called working it out for a cause.

53:26

And it's any organization that you think does a good

53:28

job and we contribute to them and then we link to them in the

53:30

show notes.

53:30

Yes, National Birth Equality Collaborative.

53:34

So the United States is like the only

53:36

industrialized country that

53:39

the maternal mortality

53:41

rate is like increasing all

53:43

of the time. We have like not figured it out. And

53:46

especially for like marginalized communities,

53:48

like black pregnant people, like I do not get the

53:50

care that they need. And it's just wild

53:53

to me. And once I became pregnant, I just realized

53:55

how scary it is that you just rely on the

53:57

people around you. And like, you just have to trust people that

53:59

you don't know.

53:59

and you're nothing about and your life is just like

54:02

in someone else's hands. So this

54:04

organization just basically like really focuses on

54:06

care for people in like just

54:08

marginalized communities that they get the care

54:10

that they need when they're pregnant, after birth,

54:13

like the babies, like before birth and after

54:15

like all of it, it's just a complete situation.

54:17

Well, I'm gonna contribute to them. We're gonna link to them,

54:19

show notes, encourage people to contribute

54:21

as well. Elise, this

54:23

is such a joy. And then our next

54:26

goal is we gotta get you on stage telling

54:28

stories to a group of strangers because

54:31

it's going to bring joy to the world.

54:32

We're gonna do it. Yeah. I'm

54:35

gonna shake on that. We're gonna shake. I promise. I promise.

54:38

♪ Working

54:38

it out, cause it's not

54:40

done. ♪ ♪ We're

54:43

working it out, cause there's no

54:45

one. ♪ That's gonna do it for another episode

54:47

of Working It Out. I loved

54:51

that chat with Elise Meyers. I

54:53

hope that's the first of many. You

54:55

should check out her podcast. It's called Funny

54:57

Cause It's True.

54:59

It is a very original podcast. I

55:01

really couldn't recommend it more highly. You

55:04

can follow her on Instagram and TikTok at at

55:06

Elise Meyers, E-L-Y-S-E-M-Y-E-R-S.

55:11

You can watch the full video of this interview

55:13

on our YouTube page at

55:15

Mike Berbiglia soon.

55:18

Hopefully either now

55:20

or tomorrow or the next day, but very, very, very,

55:23

very soon. We just posted our first

55:25

episode on YouTube for our hundredth

55:28

episode. We had Ira Glass and

55:30

people wrote all these nice comments to

55:33

the point where people commented on

55:36

how it was the nicest comment section they'd

55:38

ever been on on YouTube, which made

55:40

me so happy. The

55:43

Elise video should be up there in a couple

55:45

of days. Check that out. Subscribe,

55:47

cause we're gonna be posting more and more

55:49

videos. Check out berbigs.com to sign

55:51

up for the mailing list. Be the first to know all

55:54

about my upcoming shows. For example,

55:56

the Philadelphia shows are sold out and the Providence

55:58

shows are sold out. However.

56:00

I'm doing, there's a few more tickets for

56:02

my shows in Levittown, Long Island, and

56:05

as well as Sag Harbor, which

56:08

is in the Hamptons, and it's gorgeous

56:11

little town. It's the Bay Street Theater. I'm

56:13

doing two shows at this Bay Street

56:15

Theater, which I did last summer.

56:17

I did The Old Man in the Pool last summer. This summer,

56:19

all new material, completely new show, just

56:21

working out new material, more

56:24

new cities coming soon where I'm working

56:26

on new material. And of course, I'll be in London

56:28

and Scotland in the summer of the fall.

56:30

Our producers of Working It Out are

56:32

myself, along with Peter Salomon and Joseph

56:34

Birbiglia, associate producer Mabel

56:37

Lewis, consulting producer Seth Barish,

56:39

assistant producers Gary Simons and Lucy

56:41

Jones, sound mix by Shub Seren,

56:44

supervising engineer Kate Bolinski. I'd

56:46

like to thank the great Monique Carboni

56:48

who has taken awesome photos

56:51

for us in these new episodes and

56:53

the new studio that

56:55

was built by our friend Eddie Lewis. You

56:57

can check out her work on Instagram. We always

57:00

tag her

57:00

in the photos of hers that we post. Special

57:02

thanks to Graham Willoughby. Also,

57:05

you can follow him on Instagram as well, who helped us

57:08

with a lot of the cinematography in

57:11

the Ira Glass episode. Really, a

57:13

lot of people have commented on how cool it looks, and

57:16

that is all Graham Willoughby. Special

57:18

thanks to Marisa Hurwitz and Josh Upfall,

57:20

as well as David Raphael and Nina Quick, Mike

57:22

Insiglieri, as Mike Berkowitz. Special thanks to

57:24

Jack Antonoff and Bleachers

57:27

for their music. Special thanks

57:29

to my wife, the poet, J. Hope Stein, little

57:31

astronaut, is in bookstores now.

57:34

Special thanks, as always, to my daughter, Una, who built

57:36

the original radio fort made of pillows. And

57:39

thanks, most of all, to you who are listening. If

57:41

you're enjoying the show, rate and review on Apple Podcasts.

57:44

Tell your friends, tell your enemies. Maybe in

57:46

the spirit of how Elise Meyers tells stories,

57:49

make a video, post it online, go, this

57:51

video goes out to all my enemies.

57:53

And I wanna make peace with you. And

57:56

while I'm doing that, I wanna recommend a podcast

57:58

called Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out.

57:59

Make that video tag your enemies

58:02

and then maybe maybe

58:06

Turn off the comments Because

58:08

who knows? Thanks, everybody. See

58:10

you next time

58:15

For more episodes of micro big leas

58:17

working it out search for the show wherever you

58:19

get your podcasts or click the link in the episode

58:21

Notes,

58:22

you're about to hear a preview of I love my kid

58:25

But while you're listening follow I love

58:27

my kid But wherever you get your podcasts

58:29

and Prime members you can listen to I love

58:32

my kid But add free on Amazon

58:34

music download the Amazon music app

58:36

today

58:37

come out. Do you have a timeout? No,

58:42

I think mine is like I just school

58:45

lunches. Yeah, I don't know how many different ways

58:47

to remix peanut butter and jelly

58:50

and salami and Bagels

58:52

with cream cheese. I feel like I feel like every day I'm

58:54

trying to figure out a new way to to turn those ingredients

58:57

into different things that my kids will eat I don't know

58:59

how school I feel like I don't know how I don't

59:01

know how to And

59:04

also there's something existentially Sold

59:07

killing because I hated my school lunch

59:10

My mom would pack my lunches and I hated them and

59:12

I

59:12

know they hate the ones I make for them And

59:15

but I'm like trying to make it so much more exciting.

59:17

I'm like, I never had fresh fruit I never

59:19

had a snack in addition to the sad

59:21

sandwich. I had one sad sandwich and

59:23

a thing of hot milk and that's That

59:27

they come back and they'd haven't eaten half of the food

59:29

It's full and it's we come back and it's like oh It's

59:32

like all they ate was like the little cookie

59:34

you put in there. Yes after you eat you Oh,

59:36

that's all it's the worst. Well, thank you

59:38

so much. Wow for being here Everyone go

59:41

watch his new documentary

59:42

a thousand percent me growing up mixed on

59:45

max. Is that what they want us to do now? I

59:49

just want to say when my doc was green that

59:51

it was still HBO max. So I think you know,

59:54

I'm gonna say HBO max then Thank

59:56

you so much. Now. Thanks for having me. Thanks

1:00:01

Hey Prime Members, you can listen to I Love My

1:00:03

Kid, but add free on Amazon

1:00:05

Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

1:00:09

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