Early this fine morn the bidet was bidden to burnish my bootie and proceeded to jizzle my wizzle with bounteous blubberings of cold water.

After nearly hitting the ceiling with nefarious feelings of ill-will about this bathroom thrill, I relented, and again enthroned, the jet stream spread a thin beam along the seam of my weam, resulting in a clean swipe just below my pipe and an alabaster finish upon my hineyish. The final result - a clean butt!!!