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Welcome to Gateway Church's podcast.

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Wherever you're tuning in from, we hope you're

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encouraged by today's message.

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How many of you would like

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more peace in your life? How

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many of you really,

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pretty seriously, need

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more peace in your life? Well,

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I always pray about what I'm gonna teach, and I felt

0:26

like God wanted me to teach on the

0:29

dangers of strife. And

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so I put my message together, got

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it all on the computer and put it together, and then

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I happened to turn some, I was doing something

0:40

on YouTube. I wasn't even looking

0:42

for a message by me or

0:45

a message here, but

0:46

it pops up. Seems

0:49

like about a year ago, when I was

0:51

here, I taught on strife. And

0:54

I thought, oh, I guess I didn't hear from God. I

0:58

guess I better get a different message. Then

1:00

I felt like God said, nope,

1:03

they need to hear it again, amen?

1:07

Because we don't always get it the first time we hear it,

1:09

do we? Amen? You

1:12

know, peace is

1:15

something that Jesus said that he left us,

1:17

he bequeathed it to us.

1:20

In John 14, 27, it says, my

1:22

peace I leave with you. Not

1:26

as the world gives do I give unto

1:28

you, but my own special

1:30

peace I now

1:32

give unto you. And so the kind

1:35

of peace he's talking about is the peace

1:37

that can operate in the midst

1:39

of chaos and turmoil

1:41

in our personal lives, in

1:44

our professional lives, or

1:48

in the world like we're experiencing today. I

1:51

think most of us would say that in our lifetime,

1:56

we have never seen a time when there has been

1:58

this much wide. widespread

2:01

chaos in the world

2:04

and among individuals. But

2:08

in the Amplified Bible as that scripture continues,

2:10

Jesus said, so stop allowing

2:12

yourselves

2:15

to be upset and disturbed

2:18

and don't allow yourselves to be

2:20

fearful and intimidated. So

2:23

he's telling us his

2:24

part, what he did. I've

2:26

left you my peace.

2:28

Now you stop allowing

2:31

yourselves to

2:33

get upset. So

2:38

we have to let that sink in a minute.

2:42

Oh, I've been praying for peace, but

2:46

what have you been doing when

2:49

the opportunity comes to get upset

2:53

or to stay

2:55

calm? You say, well, I

2:57

can't help it that I get upset. Well,

3:02

you know, we use that I can't help it excuse

3:05

a lot. And I did a lot

3:07

in my life too.

3:09

But I had an experience one time that taught

3:11

me a good lesson.

3:14

I would get upset, get

3:19

mad at Dave, yell at the kids, whatever

3:22

we do, we get upset. You know, when we get upset,

3:24

we usually take it out on the people that we love the most

3:26

because we know that they can't get away from us. They

3:29

have to put up with us.

3:32

And so

3:36

I was having one of my little tantrums and I was

3:40

yelling at the kids and not being

3:42

abusive, but just angry.

3:49

And all of a sudden I kind of

3:50

had like a epiphany

3:53

from God. And

3:56

he said, now, if your pastor rang the doorbell

3:58

right now. let

4:00

me ask you a question how far would you some

4:03

down

4:08

well

4:11

i can tell you but the time i got to the front door

4:15

of it is a pastor praise

4:19

god it's

4:22

so good to see you come

4:25

in all the kids are playing in

4:27

their rooms are just fine the

4:29

other kids are just fun

4:31

and honestly that really did teach

4:33

me a lesson

4:36

and i hope you can use that example

4:38

in your own life because what it really showed

4:40

me i knew for sure

4:44

if ham or anybody else that

4:46

i wanted to impress

4:55

you know the only way we get free from

4:57

anything has to be truthful with ourselves

5:02

about why were behaving the way were

5:04

behaving

5:06

in john a that says if you continue my word

5:08

you'll know the truth and the truth

5:10

will make you free but

5:12

it's not the trophies about somebody else that will set

5:14

me free

5:17

it's the truth about me and

5:20

you know the holy spirit descent into our

5:22

lives to teach

5:24

us all truth

5:27

that's one of his main jobs as to teach us

5:29

troops and

5:32

so the holy spirit was given me an opportunity

5:35

to learn something big

5:37

which was

5:40

i could control myself when

5:43

i really wanted to

5:47

your all kind of look at me like well

5:50

that's nice for you but i can't summit

5:54

of you know that you can control yourself

5:57

when you really

5:59

want

6:02

Are you sure? Maybe I don't know. Maybe you don't want to. I

6:04

don't know. Come

6:06

on, help me a little bit.

6:10

I woke up at 2.30 this morning, went and

6:16

prayed and a couple

6:18

hours and then went back to bed and slept for an hour and then

6:20

I got up again and flew here from St.

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Louis and had lunch with some friends.

6:25

So I've had a pretty long busy day so I need

6:28

you to be nice.

6:29

How

6:34

many

6:35

of you really? Now think about

6:37

it. Think about what I said. Because

6:39

as long as we keep using the excuse, I can't

6:41

help it. We

6:44

will stay in bondage. And

6:47

I came to a point in my life

6:49

maybe 20, 30 years ago where

6:51

I thought, you know what? I am fed

6:54

up with being upset all the time

6:56

and I would see my husband. He would be just as

6:58

calm. Now Dave has a different

7:00

personality than me. He's a little more

7:02

naturally laid back and calm and

7:05

he didn't grow up the way I did.

7:06

I grew up in a house that was just full of

7:08

turmoil and strife and

7:11

he didn't have it real easy growing up. His

7:13

dad

7:14

was an alcoholic, not a violent alcoholic,

7:17

but he was an alcoholic and but

7:19

his mother was really great, strong Christian

7:22

woman, took them to church all the time. He

7:24

was born again. He was filled with the spirit

7:26

and he just would cast his care

7:29

and

7:29

not worry about anything. I worried

7:31

about everything.

7:32

He was calm, trusted God and I

7:35

said I was trusting God but still worried

7:37

and got upset all the time.

7:39

You know we're really not trusting

7:40

God if we're worrying at the same

7:43

time. We may be trying to trust God.

7:47

We all start out that way but when

7:49

we really get around to trusting God then

7:53

we don't worry and we don't get

7:55

upset because even though we don't know what

7:57

God's going to do, we believe

7:59

in God.

7:59

that he's going to do something, and even

8:02

though we don't know when, we know

8:04

he won't be late. He

8:07

may not be early, but he won't be late.

8:13

So I made my mind up that if

8:15

he could have peace, I could have peace.

8:18

And he was a great example

8:19

to me, and I appreciate

8:22

that about him.

8:24

And I believe that God wants to use

8:26

us, especially in the days that we're living in, to

8:29

be a great example, not only

8:31

to our family members, especially

8:34

to our children,

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especially if they're still young and

8:40

living under your roof and being trained by

8:42

you.

8:42

And it's not what we say to them that trains

8:45

them, it's what they see us do

8:47

that trains them. I'm

8:50

going to say that again.

8:51

It's not what we say to them that

8:54

trains them.

8:55

Oh, it does to a certain degree.

8:56

It has some effect. But it's what they

8:58

see us do

9:01

that trains them.

9:03

And so Dave's example to me

9:06

was great,

9:08

and I really appreciate

9:09

that about him. And we

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are living in some very unique times.

9:15

You might say they're the worst of times and the best

9:17

of times. I think that we

9:19

have opportunity today to

9:21

be

9:22

lights in a dark place,

9:25

and you can preach a sermon everywhere

9:27

you go just by actually

9:30

acting like the Christian that you claim

9:32

to be. And so can I. And

9:36

one thing the world needs is peace, and the other

9:38

thing they need is love.

9:40

And if we can be peaceful

9:42

in the midst of

9:43

turmoil, and we can love

9:46

people who are not easy to love,

9:48

that's going to preach a louder sermon than any

9:51

preacher could preach on a platform anywhere.

9:54

Amen. We agree with that.

9:59

What do you think would happen if everybody

10:02

who claims to be a Christian acted like one? I

10:06

Mean seriously, let's I mean what what

10:08

do you think would happen? So

10:11

I just want to put it out to you

10:13

first Jesus

10:15

has left us peace to be honest

10:19

We don't even really have to pray for peace We

10:21

don't have to pray for God to give us peace because

10:24

he already has So I

10:26

changed the way I pray when

10:29

I feel myself getting upset or if I've

10:32

Waited too long and already gotten upset. No,

10:35

I need to calm down. I

10:37

Pray God, please

10:38

help me appropriate the peace

10:40

that is in me Because

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you've given it to me as your gift

10:46

Now I need to accept that

10:48

and receive it

10:50

and calm down

10:51

and you know you can Talk

10:54

to yourself.

10:56

Do you know that you can talk yourself

10:57

into a good mood if you want to?

11:01

Are you to talk yourself into a bad mood a

11:04

Couple of weeks. I got up one morning. I don't know

11:06

why I don't even remember

11:09

Why but for some reason I

11:13

Just kind of started to Think

11:17

a couple of negative things

11:18

and

11:19

maybe a couple of poor me things

11:23

And then I just said no Not

11:27

going there been there

11:30

done that and I started purposely

11:32

thanking God for everything that I could think

11:34

of and Thinking

11:36

about how blessed I was and you

11:39

know it only took probably less than two

11:41

minutes

11:42

and a day That could have ended up in the ditch

11:46

Was turned completely around and

11:49

I had a great day You

11:51

see a lot of times we we

11:53

want to put all of this off on God, but

11:56

we have a responsibility to He's

11:59

good given us what we need,

12:03

but we have to appropriate it and act

12:05

on it.

12:07

In Ephesians 3, 20, it

12:09

says that God is able to

12:12

do exceedingly, abundantly, above

12:14

and beyond all that we could ever

12:16

dare to hope, ask, or think.

12:19

Then it ends with, according to the

12:21

power

12:21

that worketh in you.

12:24

I don't think I ever really fully

12:28

understood that because

12:30

we'd all like for God to just do it all.

12:34

But you see, He works through

12:37

us.

12:38

He doesn't do everything for us, but

12:40

He does things through us.

12:44

He gives it to you,

12:46

then He wants it to go through you to

12:49

other people. So God gives

12:51

us peace, and He wants us

12:54

to receive it, be at peace with

12:56

ourselves, and then let it go through us

12:58

to other people.

13:01

He gives us love. He wants us to receive

13:03

that

13:04

and even learn how to love ourselves in a

13:06

balanced

13:07

way, not a selfish, self-centered way.

13:09

But

13:09

you need to love the you that God

13:11

has created, that you're

13:14

becoming.

13:16

Amen. You know, we're

13:18

all in the process

13:18

of becoming. It's

13:22

like we have an image inside

13:24

of us.

13:25

We're being transformed into the image

13:27

of Christ, so

13:30

we're becoming what we already are. You

13:33

have to understand the word for that to make any

13:35

sense, but the Holy Spirit

13:38

is helping us day after day

13:40

after day

13:42

be transformed into the image of

13:44

Jesus Christ. We don't see Jesus

13:47

ever getting all upset,

13:50

hurrying and rushing around, telling His disciples,

13:52

come on, hurry

13:53

up. We've got to get over here.

13:59

I was starting to get that way a little

14:02

bit in the

14:03

Backroom because I didn't know it was as late as it was

14:05

and I asked somebody what time it was and they said it was

14:07

four minutes to

14:08

Four and

14:10

we were still dabbling around with makeup and I was

14:12

like Right away.

14:14

I got but I'm getting ready to come out here and teach on

14:17

peace

14:23

And Dave's helping with my microphone

14:25

and I said just just stick the wire

14:27

in there just

14:32

And then I had to say Joyce

14:37

The world won't end

14:40

If you're out there a couple of minutes later than you usually

14:42

are I

14:43

Always like I can't stand to

14:45

be late when I'm the one that's gonna preach Amen

14:49

and I mean I knew we were gonna have

14:51

worship and I really had plenty of time but It

14:54

wasn't going according to my plan. Hello.

14:57

Is anybody home out there? It

14:59

wasn't going according to my plan.

15:02

So You

15:05

know, there's no point in trying to do something

15:07

about something you can't do anything

15:09

about Sorry,

15:14

I need a drink of water class all you want to

15:21

Now this will really help you if you'll let it God

15:25

is able to do exceedingly abundantly above

15:27

and beyond all that we could ever dare

15:29

to hope ask or think According

15:32

to the power that worketh in you

15:34

so God will do it in you

15:36

and then let it go

15:37

through you

15:40

If you cooperate with him and if I cooperate

15:42

with him I've

15:45

been studying the word for 45

15:46

years and it's taken me a long time

15:52

To get to knowing some of the things that

15:54

I know now

15:56

and I'm so grateful for the word

15:59

And I'm so grateful for some of these little

16:02

lessons that God has taught me

16:04

that really turn out to be big things

16:06

in my everyday life.

16:10

So what have we said so far? You can

16:12

control yourself

16:15

if you really want to.

16:17

If you were having the biggest

16:19

argument with your spouse you have ever

16:21

had screaming and yelling

16:23

at one another, and I rang your doorbell,

16:25

how fast do you think you'd straighten up?

16:31

Okay, not me. Okay, Pastor Robert. How

16:34

about that? If

16:36

that doesn't work, how about Jesus?

16:40

Because you know what? He is there anyway.

16:45

He lives in us,

16:48

and there's nothing that we're hiding from Him.

16:52

When we started our ministry, when

16:54

I first started thinking about starting a

16:56

ministry, back

16:59

in 1977,

17:02

I guess it was,

17:07

the Lord spoke to my heart, and

17:10

this is what He put in my heart. There's three things I want

17:12

you to do, and if you do them I'll bless your ministry.

17:17

Keep the strife out of your life,

17:20

out of your home, and out of your ministry. I

17:23

don't even

17:26

know that I fully knew what strife was at the

17:28

time, but I

17:31

knew it was the opposite of peace.

17:33

He said, do

17:34

whatever you do with excellence.

17:38

Don't be a mediocre.

17:41

You know, an excellence doesn't mean perfection. It

17:43

just means to do the very best

17:45

that you can with what you have. I

17:50

mean, you can have an old car, but you can keep it clean.

17:54

Amen.

17:58

And he said, be a person of integrity. always

18:01

do what you say you're going to do.

18:05

Amen. Now,

18:09

those are three simple things. There

18:13

are three

18:14

life principles which every

18:17

person and certainly every Christian

18:20

should base their foundation on.

18:23

Wear your shoes of peace like Ephesians 6 says,

18:25

if you expect to defeat the devil,

18:29

then you have to put on the armor of God that

18:31

He's given us. I

18:33

want to say again, I think sometimes

18:35

we want to put it all on God.

18:40

On the wall.

18:43

Nothing happens without

18:44

prayer.

18:46

But you know what I find happens a lot of times when

18:48

I pray?

18:49

God doesn't do something for

18:51

me. He

18:55

shows me something to do.

18:59

My husband was having a real hard

19:01

time with feeling jittery

19:03

and nervous. He called it a

19:06

heavenly yips, whatever that is.

19:09

But he's such a peaceful person that

19:12

any kind of feeling of nervousness really bothers

19:15

him. I was kind of used to it myself.

19:18

But it really bothered him. And

19:22

so he started praying about it.

19:25

And so he started praying about it.

19:28

And God just simply showed him

19:29

that he was consuming

19:31

way too much caffeine. He was going by

19:34

a fast

19:34

food restaurant and getting like a 32 ounce

19:36

soda every day that

19:39

had caffeine in it. And

19:41

he drank coffee and he ate

19:43

sweets pretty much every day. And

19:46

so between the

19:46

sugar and the caffeine, he

19:48

had gotten to a point in life where

19:51

his body was not handling that. You know,

19:53

sometimes you can do

19:55

something at a certain age

19:57

and stage in your life that just doesn't matter.

20:00

won't work for you anymore when you get a little

20:02

bit older. Is

20:05

anybody finding that out?

20:10

You see, only a fool thinks they can always

20:12

do what they've always done.

20:18

I found out that I couldn't keep working

20:21

like I did 30 years ago.

20:25

I had to make changes.

20:27

And we constantly in our life

20:29

have to make changes and

20:30

adjustments. And

20:32

if we don't,

20:33

we'll make ourselves sick and then ask God to heal

20:36

us.

20:41

And sometimes when we ask God to heal us and

20:43

nothing changes, it's because we're

20:45

not listening to what He tells

20:47

us to do.

20:50

I'm preaching better than you're acting.

20:58

OK, now, I don't intend to do

21:00

a health lesson tonight, but some of

21:02

you, if you just got more sleep, you

21:09

know what, all those words guilty laughs.

21:13

How about drinking some water? I don't

21:15

like water.

21:20

I personally know two people that died with

21:22

kidney disease

21:22

because they never drank water.

21:26

They drank

21:29

other stuff all the time. Most

21:31

of the other stuff has a lot of

21:33

chemicals and caffeine in it, and

21:36

water is the only thing that will really

21:38

cleanse

21:41

your kidneys and your body.

21:44

So like I said, I'm not here to do a health

21:46

teaching tonight. But you'd

21:48

be amazed if you just start

21:50

asking God, why am I having

21:52

this problem?

21:55

If you're really willing to hear what He has

21:57

to say,

21:59

show you, and you might not like what he shows

22:02

you because you'd much rather it be

22:05

anything other than something you need

22:07

to change.

22:12

I'm smiling bigger than you guys are. So

22:17

what about strife? What is strife?

22:20

Strife is bickering, arguing, heated

22:23

disagreement, and an angry

22:24

undercurrent. And

22:28

I think the angry undercurrent

22:32

is the most dangerous because

22:35

that's when everybody kind

22:43

of senses that something

22:46

not good is going on behind

22:50

the scenes, that

22:52

everybody's still smiling at each other, saying,

22:54

especially

22:56

in church, praise the Lord.

23:00

I remember the days when Dave and I would argue

23:03

all the way to church.

23:08

Come on. Don't

23:10

you know if the devil can start anything it's going to be

23:13

on Sunday morning or Saturday

23:15

night or Friday night or whenever you go to church?

23:20

I mean, I know some pastors that them and their wives

23:23

drive separate cars to church because that's the

23:25

only way they can get there in peace.

23:31

And it's important when

23:35

you get here that you get here in peace,

23:37

and it's important that I get here in peace

23:42

because we can sit and smile at each other

23:44

and say, praise the Lord, but nothing

23:47

sinks in if we're

23:49

in a turmoil. I

23:52

can remember being in the front row with my hands

23:54

lifted up, singing, I surrender

23:56

all, and thinking if he thinks

23:58

I'm going to cook him anything to eat, today he's got another

24:01

thing coming.

24:05

For all I care he can starve.

24:07

Praise

24:10

the Lord, praise the Lord. Thank you Jesus. And

24:18

I can remember when we'd argue all the way to church but

24:20

boy when we saw that first parking lot

24:22

attendant or greeter or oh

24:26

David Joyce praise God how are y'all praise

24:28

the Lord we're fine and that's

24:32

not the way God wants us to be.

24:35

That's that angry undercurrent and if you

24:37

think that it doesn't get in churches

24:38

you've got another thing coming

24:45

because the devil hates us and

24:51

the one thing he does not want us

24:53

to have is unity and peace

24:57

because as long as we're fighting the

24:59

world

24:59

is not going to pay one bit of attention

25:01

to anything that we have to

25:03

say. Now

25:10

I actually have a

25:13

real concern

25:16

because there are so many people in

25:18

the body of Christ

25:20

that are mad at somebody.

25:23

I just said our yearly women's conference

25:26

we held at this past year in San Antonio, Texas

25:29

and I guess maybe you were there anybody who

25:31

was there? There were 16,500 women there and on Thursday night I

25:42

asked

25:45

how many of them I

25:47

did a little exhortation on it first and

25:49

I asked how many of you have

25:52

somebody in your life that you

25:54

need

25:54

to forgive?

25:56

Will you stand up and I was shocked 90

25:59

10% of the 16,000 stood

26:02

up and if you were there you thought

26:05

now

26:08

What are we going to do I Mean

26:12

we're living in very dangerous times What

26:17

are we gonna do if

26:19

we don't make a decision that we're gonna

26:21

stop it

26:24

Jesus said I've left you my peace now you

26:27

stop allowing yourselves to get upset

26:29

and disturbed Stop allowing yourselves

26:31

to be fearful and intimidated I

26:34

want to be the kind of person that before you

26:36

get finished offending me. I've already decided

26:38

to forgive you

26:45

And the only way that can happen is yes through

26:47

prayer

26:49

But also through

26:50

special study You

26:53

need to be familiar with every scripture in the

26:55

Bible

26:57

That talks about anger anger

26:59

does not promote the righteousness that God

27:01

desires need to be familiar with

27:03

mark 11

27:06

That says faith can move mountains you

27:08

can say to that mountain move and it'll have to move

27:11

And whatever you pray for

27:14

Believe that you receive it and you will

27:16

get it. It doesn't say when but it says

27:18

you'll get it and

27:21

There's a waiting time and that's the testing

27:23

time And

27:26

then it says and if you have

27:28

anything against anyone

27:31

Anything against

27:32

anyone forgive them

27:35

leave it let it go drop it Because

27:41

if you don't forgive neither what your

27:43

heavenly father forgive you

27:46

not that I

27:48

Mean if we're really gonna believe the Bible then

27:51

we can't just pull out the I'll bless you and

27:53

prosper

27:54

you ones

28:01

We have to get, we

28:04

can't just keep only wanting

28:06

to hear

28:07

God loves you, He forgives

28:09

you, you're

28:11

precious, you're created with

28:14

His hand, He's got an awesome

28:16

future plan for you, all of that's true

28:18

and we need to hear all that. But we also

28:20

need to hear some of these other things

28:26

because

28:29

the Bible says, 1

28:37

Corinthians 1, 9 through 11, God

28:41

is faithful, reliable,

28:44

trustworthy, and therefore

28:47

ever true to His promise and He

28:49

can be depended on. Boy,

28:51

how many of you are glad about that?

28:54

He's faithful, you can depend on

28:56

Him, He's always going to

28:59

keep His word. Verse 10,

29:02

but,

29:06

I urge and entreat you brethren

29:08

by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that

29:11

all of you be in perfect harmony and full

29:13

agreement in what you say and that there be no dissension

29:15

or factions or divisions among you but

29:17

that you be perfectly united in your common

29:20

understanding and in your opinion and

29:21

in your judgments. So

29:24

He's saying God is faithful

29:29

but I've heard, if you go ahead and read it, from

29:33

Chloe that

29:34

there's bickering and arguing and

29:37

strife and dissension among you.

29:40

So He says God is faithful but

29:43

you need to get along.

29:47

In Psalm 133 it says that

29:52

how pleasant it is for

29:54

the unity.

29:59

I love peace.

30:02

I love those first couple hours in the morning

30:04

when nobody's up. I

30:07

can get along with everybody when nobody's there.

30:14

How many of you find that

30:17

you can just be so godly when nobody's

30:18

home?

30:21

Play your Christian music,

30:25

watch Joyce Meyer on TV,

30:31

read Pastor Robert's latest book,

30:35

but boy when the people come in, that's

30:39

when the trouble starts. Now

30:43

I obviously don't have time in the amount

30:45

of time I

30:46

have in one service to

30:49

do this the full justice that it deserves,

30:53

but I'm trying to pick some of the key

30:56

and

30:56

most important scriptures that God

30:58

has used in my life to teach

31:00

me, I want to try to impress

31:02

on you how important

31:05

this is to your life and

31:08

to the plan of God for

31:10

the world that we

31:11

live in. Now I've been thinking

31:13

a lot

31:13

about our young

31:16

people, about our kids, our teenagers,

31:19

and how many of you would

31:23

agree that

31:25

a lot of children

31:27

today are

31:29

extremely confused?

31:41

I mean, people

31:46

doing things today that I'm

31:47

just like,

31:52

how can you even dream that up?

31:59

I'm a school iron.

31:59

heard about,

32:02

it happens to be in the district I live in, sad

32:05

to say,

32:07

there are some children who identify

32:09

as furries.

32:14

And so the school provided them with a litter

32:16

box

32:16

to go to the bathroom.

32:20

Now,

32:26

they'll put furry tails on and

32:29

sit up on the window ledge in the classroom

32:31

like a cat.

32:34

And you know what?

32:36

That's sad for them.

32:39

That the world has gotten so confusing

32:45

that people don't know who they are anymore.

32:48

But let's look at the scripture.

32:52

And I've taught on this

32:53

scripture, I don't know how many times, but I've

32:55

never seen it like I did a couple of weeks ago, James 3

33:01

16. For where there is jealousy, envy,

33:03

and contention,

33:05

which is strife, rivalry

33:08

and selfish ambition, there

33:10

will also be confusion,

33:16

unrest,

33:17

disharmony, rebellion,

33:20

and all sorts of evil and vile

33:22

practices.

33:26

So certainly

33:29

not making any accusations, just throwing

33:31

it out there

33:32

for anybody who might need it.

33:35

Wonder how many of those kids that are so confused

33:38

live in a house where mom and dad are arguing

33:40

and fighting all

33:41

the time.

33:48

And I'm not saying we have to be perfect for our kids.

33:52

They have to learn how to deal with stuff. I'm

33:54

not saying if you have one argument in front of your

33:56

kids that

33:58

it's going on, throw them into confusion. But

34:01

if 90% of 16,000

34:07

Christians

34:11

were willing to stand up and say,

34:14

yes, I'm angry at somebody and

34:16

I've not forgiven them,

34:18

and the sad thing is, is

34:21

I can do that

34:21

pretty much anywhere I go

34:23

and get the same result.

34:26

And I'm just saying that we have a problem

34:31

and we need to address it

34:33

and we need to start dealing with it. And

34:36

that means I need to deal with it in my home,

34:38

you need to deal with it in your home.

34:48

You know,

34:50

even in the church today,

34:53

we don't deal with stuff the way that we should,

34:55

not

34:57

like Paul did.

35:00

Titus 3, 9 through 11.

35:05

But avoid stupid and foolish controversies

35:07

and genealogies and dissensions and

35:10

wrangling, which is strife,

35:12

about the law for they are unprofitable

35:15

and futile.

35:15

Now, these are New Testament Christians

35:17

that had at one time lived under

35:19

the law

35:22

and so they spent a lot

35:24

of time arguing about

35:27

the difference between law and grace.

35:30

I think we still kind of have that argument today

35:32

sometimes.

35:35

So you said,

35:37

stop arguing

35:38

about stupid stuff

35:41

that doesn't make any sense.

35:44

Verse 10, as for the man, and

35:48

this is a man in the church who is

35:50

factuous, a heretical sectarian,

35:53

and a cause of division, after

35:56

admonishing him a first and a second

35:58

time.

35:59

You give him two warnings,

36:02

reject him from

36:04

your fellowship, and have nothing more to do

36:06

with him. Now,

36:09

you know what we would say today?

36:12

Well, that's not being loving.

36:19

There was another man that Paul talked about

36:21

who had committed incest

36:24

and he was not repentant.

36:26

If a person's repentant and willing to change,

36:29

then I believe God wants us to go to the

36:31

mat with him and work with him forever.

36:35

But if they're not repentant and they're

36:37

not gonna change and we let them just

36:39

sit in our midst,

36:46

maybe I got the wrong crowd for this, I don't know.

36:59

You know what Paul said about that man? He

37:01

said,

37:02

put him out of the church, turn him over to the devil.

37:08

But that's not all he said, he said, so

37:10

that perhaps

37:11

his soul might be saved

37:15

and he won't end up in hell.

37:19

So if I understand Paul

37:22

correctly, the

37:24

church was such a holy and

37:26

an awesome and a powerful

37:28

place

37:30

that when people were in the church

37:33

and functioning as a body,

37:34

there was actually a protective covering

37:37

over them. And

37:41

so he said, we

37:44

can't just let a lot of sin

37:47

get in the church,

37:50

know it's there and nobody

37:52

deal with it.

38:11

I'm 80 and I've just decided I'm going

38:13

for it.

38:22

I am not going to stand before

38:23

God and

38:26

have him say, why didn't you address

38:28

the things that really needed to be addressed?

38:36

You know why we don't? Because we don't want to make anybody

38:39

mad. We

38:41

don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. We don't want

38:43

anybody to leave the church.

38:51

But everything the Apostle Paul did, he

38:54

did it for

38:54

the good of the people. He

38:56

didn't do it to hurt people and he was

38:58

walking in love when he did some of those things.

39:02

Because love is not always, you're so sweet.

39:09

And if you really read the things that Paul

39:12

said, he told Timothy, he said, your

39:15

job as a preacher is to

39:18

urge, warn,

39:21

correct, rebuke, and

39:24

encourage. He didn't say

39:26

just encourage.

39:29

He said,

39:29

you warn them. So I'll just tell

39:31

you if,

39:34

maybe I'll talk to myself. Joyce,

39:38

if you don't deal with the strife in your life

39:40

and get rid of it, it's

39:43

going to affect you

39:47

and the people around you in a very

39:49

adverse

39:49

way.

39:51

Amen?

39:53

And if you need that, you can have it.

40:01

I'm only doing this because

40:05

I really care about God's people.

40:08

And I don't want to play church games anymore.

40:13

I really want people's lives

40:15

to be changed by the word.

40:18

And I don't want us to just be Christians in church.

40:20

I want us to be Christians at home.

40:24

I want us to be Christians at work. I

40:28

want us to be Christians in the grocery store.

40:31

In traffic. Yeah,

40:36

in traffic.

40:41

That's one of the few times when I see

40:43

my husband get a little bit un-called.

40:46

He

40:48

must be a woman driver and I want to...

40:57

Oh, and I've seen him get a little feisty on the golf

40:59

course too.

41:02

Not so much now, but man, when he was younger,

41:04

whoo!

41:07

Sometimes those clubs went flying.

41:14

He's calmed down so much now though.

41:23

When the golf course was still working on traffic. No

41:30

he's good. I just got to have fun. Okay.

41:35

The only way

41:36

that we're going to keep strife away is

41:38

to confront it and deal with it.

41:42

And I'll tell you what it takes. The

41:45

Bible says in Proverbs that the only

41:47

way you can have contention

41:49

is by pride.

41:52

You can't have it any other way.

41:55

So the only way

41:59

that you're going to have...

41:59

in your home is

42:02

if you also have humility.

42:05

Whoo!

42:13

And just to bring that to a practical level,

42:16

here's kind of how it works.

42:20

You have to be willing not to be right

42:22

in an argument.

42:31

Oh, you better be glad I've only got six minutes left.

42:38

You have to be willing

42:41

to say I was wrong. It

42:45

was my fault.

42:47

I'm sorry.

42:50

You have to be willing to not argue at

42:52

all.

42:54

It takes two people to argue, you know. Nobody can

42:56

argue by themselves. You

43:01

have to learn to listen

43:04

in

43:05

a conversation when

43:07

it starts to get heated up enough that

43:09

you can tell

43:11

somebody's going to blow a fuse if you don't

43:13

change the conversation, and if nothing

43:16

else, get out of the room.

43:26

If you want to have peace, you have to be

43:28

willing to keep your opinions to yourself sometimes.

43:34

Do you know that just because you don't agree with

43:36

somebody does not mean that you have to tell

43:38

them you don't agree with them? Do

43:43

you think of that?

43:45

Well, I don't agree with that.

43:49

Well, the devil's trying to start

43:51

a fire, and you've just thrown some fuel on it. Knowing

44:03

how to keep your opinion to yourself, my

44:05

son, my

44:06

older son, our older son,

44:09

they've always said, I say they're my kids, they're actually

44:11

our kids.

44:15

Our older son, David, he

44:19

had a pretty feisty temper. He's 58

44:24

now. So you start

44:27

calming down a lot the older you get because

44:31

you're just like, it ain't worth it. Nope,

44:36

not going there.

44:37

He said one time, he said, you

44:40

know what, I finally figured out being right

44:42

is highly overrated.

44:47

And you know, really when you think about it, what

44:49

do you get other than that little smug

44:51

feeling for just a few minutes?

44:57

But what comes after that? The same devil

44:59

who tempted you to argue to be right will

45:02

now make you feel guilty because

45:03

you argued to be right.

45:09

And you'll feel good about it for maybe 30 minutes

45:12

until you calm down

45:14

and then you'll get this, which

45:18

was there all the time, but because you were so

45:21

emotional,

45:25

you couldn't hear the Holy Spirit.

45:29

You know, when you're in the middle of a conversation that's getting

45:31

ready to go in the wrong direction,

45:33

at least I've

45:35

gotten to the point where I can hear the Holy Spirit say,

45:37

how

45:44

many of you agree that you cannot have peace if you

45:46

don't have humility?

45:53

What is so hard about saying,

45:55

I

45:57

think I'm right, but I may be wrong.

46:00

I mean, could you just open your mind

46:03

to the possibility

46:05

that you might be wrong?

46:09

I mean, Dave and I used to argue over some

46:11

of the stupidest stuff, and

46:14

it was mostly me. I'll

46:17

admit that. Things like

46:18

we'd be going somewhere and

46:21

maybe there were two ways to get there, and

46:26

he'd go to the entrance subdivision and turn right, and I'd

46:28

say, where are you going that way far?

46:32

You need to go to the left. That's the shortest route. No,

46:35

it's not. This way is the shortest.

46:38

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

46:44

no. And there's so many more

46:45

important things to be doing than

46:48

that.

46:50

I was doing that one night, and the Lord said to me, just let

46:52

the man go whichever way he wants to go.

46:58

Just

46:59

who cares if it takes two minutes longer?

47:03

What difference does it make? I

47:06

had a call in my life, and here I am arguing

47:09

over which way to get to the hardware store.

47:13

We'd argue over who an actor

47:15

was on TV and then stay up to one o'clock

47:17

in the morning,

47:17

watch the movie waiting for the credits to come

47:20

on so we could prove he was right.

47:25

I don't do that stuff anymore. Now I go to

47:27

sleep usually

47:30

before the movie's over.

47:36

You know, just to make sure you understand

47:40

what I meant when I said we don't deal with

47:42

things the way we should in the church, I am not

47:44

in any way suggesting that we should ever

47:46

be mean to anybody.

47:49

I'm not ever suggesting that we should

47:51

not accept people

47:54

that are different than we are.

47:58

But the house of God is a place where we can be.

47:59

place to bring people to repentance.

48:04

And if they won't do that,

48:10

I always say this. I can

48:24

hang out with somebody until as

48:26

long as I am

48:28

affecting them and they're not infecting

48:30

me.

48:34

Amen?

48:37

Well,

48:40

I think we better end this with a prayer. Close

48:44

your eyes for just a minute.

48:47

Lift your hand up if you need

48:48

to forgive somebody and you're willing to do

48:50

it tonight. Go

48:52

on. Nobody's looking but me.

48:57

Father, I pray for each person

49:00

that has heard something from you tonight and

49:05

they're willing to

49:06

take action

49:09

in this area.

49:11

And I pray that you will

49:13

give them the grace they need to follow

49:15

through and

49:16

to let go

49:18

of the things that they need to let go of.

49:21

We ask it in the name of Jesus.

49:25

Amen. Okay,

49:28

let me say one thing.

49:33

Just because you pray to forgive somebody doesn't

49:35

mean you're going to feel any different about them the next time you see

49:37

them. Forgiveness

49:39

is not how you feel about somebody, it's how

49:41

you treat them. Every

49:44

person that you're angry at, you pray

49:47

for them every day. It's very

49:49

hard to stay mad at somebody that you're praying for

49:51

on a regular basis. Amen. Thank

49:54

you. I hope you got something out of this. Thanks

49:57

for joining us today. If you'd like to connect

49:59

with us.

49:59

Text CONNECT to 71010

50:02

or visit gatewaypeople.com. We

50:04

hope you have a great week!