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gambler. I'm okay with like differing

1:01

opinions a lot with even

1:03

the people that I'm with. because it creates, like,

1:05

good conversation and you kind like, learn a little

1:07

bit more about yourself when you do disagree. Mhmm.

1:09

So if I if I have an echo chamber, I'm not

1:11

learning anything. So, like, for example, I used to date

1:13

this girl. who she was so scared

1:16

of losing me, so she wanted

1:18

to be this perfect girl. Like, this perfect girl for

1:20

even though I'm in shambles. So If I

1:22

said something to you, I agree with you. If

1:24

I said something, I got I'm, like, hold on a second. And I

1:26

remember I had this conversation with her. And this is one of the biggest

1:28

reasons why I dumped was because I was like, you

1:30

know, we've been together for ten months now, and I

1:32

don't know you. And she

1:33

was like, why? I was like, because everything you say,

1:35

you agree with she goes, I was like, and I genuinely

1:37

don't think you agree with this stuff. Mhmm. I

1:39

was like, you are so scared to be yourself because

1:41

you're afraid that I'm gonna leave you. If if you and

1:43

I butt heads, and she goes, I just wanna

1:45

be a good girlfriend. I'm like, that's not being good

1:48

girlfriend. Right? You are not I don't own you.

1:50

You are your individual self. In

1:53

54321

1:55

Hello, everybody. Welcome to

1:57

another episode of the Genius Brain Podcast. Most

1:59

likely, it's not Christmas, but it it will

2:01

be soon. Before your Christmas gift,

2:03

I brought you Alex Reid. I

2:06

have been wanting to get you on this podcast for

2:08

a long time. I just been super fucking lazy.

2:11

And when I finally asked you said yes, so I'm super

2:13

happy. Alex, I have a thousand

2:15

questions for you. So many, many

2:17

questions because Well,

2:20

for me, like, I I listen to Korean music

2:22

a lot since I was a kid. You know, contributed to

2:24

what a lot of people think on this podcast. People think

2:26

I hate fucking Korean music in general.

2:28

Right. Not true.

2:29

would you hate that? Well, it's

2:31

just because I don't like a lot of the music that's out

2:33

now. It's not Oh, okay. Like and

2:35

we, you know, when I when I was growing up as a kid,

2:37

like, All that stuff was just,

2:39

you know, company generated pop music, you

2:41

know. And it still is now, but

2:43

there was a lot of like, artists

2:45

that I really really liked. Yeah. So I was, like,

2:48

a huge fan of all those, like, boy groups. There

2:50

was, you know, HOT, Shenhua, and there was

2:52

-- Mhmm. -- GOD. He headed

2:54

back. Oh, I'm talking about way back. So when I was

2:56

a kid, I used to have everybody's posters on

2:58

my wall. I had the SCS posters, the Finkel

3:00

posters. All the sudden He

3:01

feel like it was, like, more legit, like, more creatively

3:03

sound back then? I think

3:04

back then, it was just they were figuring

3:06

their stuff out. I mean, the music is way better now for

3:08

sure, especially in terms of, like, production and, like,

3:10

Korean people kind of working their own identity.

3:13

Yeah. So like,

3:16

I don't listen to a lot of it.

3:18

So, like, for example, I I so in in

3:20

Hawaii, there's this the store called

3:22

k pop and friends. Okay. And

3:24

my my lady is a huge fan of BTS.

3:27

Mhmm. I don't know any of these motherfuckers. I

3:29

don't know any of their fucking names. How is that even

3:31

possible? I don't know shit about them. They're

3:33

everywhere. Yeah. I know they're fucking

3:35

popular, but I didn't know people. So In

3:37

my mind, I was so I went to the store and

3:39

I go, hi, I wanna get some

3:41

BTS stuff. And then the person looked

3:43

at me like, oh, you're a fan. I was like, no, I am not.

3:46

my lady is. So just

3:48

give me some BTS stuff. She goes, well,

3:50

each member has their own thing, and

3:52

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

3:55

what are you talking about? Like, well, this

3:57

person chiming and Yoonge.

3:59

And see now I know their names. That's good. And

4:01

chiming, Yoonge, and this

4:04

one has who has a poop emoji as a

4:06

fucking character. And so I didn't know that

4:08

they had their individual, like,

4:10

little characters and animals, and it

4:12

sounds like hockey.

4:13

It's called branding. I mean, that is

4:15

branding too. The k that's to

4:18

me, the one of the hugest

4:20

differences between Korean pop and

4:22

American like outside of it being in

4:24

different languages, is like the

4:26

sheer attention to detail and

4:28

the really intricate and

4:30

careful and thoughtful branding. I think fans

4:32

like thoughtful branding. Mhmm. You know,

4:34

it's like we appreciate that you put

4:36

in time and we're gonna buy it.

4:38

So they had, like, these, like, it's, like, cacao

4:40

friends. It's, like, my first name. That's

4:42

the other guy's name. Yeah. See, I

4:44

know this shit. And so, like, I was just

4:46

gonna pick random stuff and personally, hold on. you

4:48

can't just pick random things. Who is their who's their

4:50

favorite members? And I'm like, well, now I can't fucking

4:53

surprise her. So I had fucking messaged

4:55

her. I was like, hey, who's your favorite members?

4:57

goes, why what are you doing? I got her this thing that

4:59

had, like, a memorabilia bag

5:01

with all their signatures on it, and she

5:03

was freaking the fuck out. That's amazing.

5:06

you know, when I walk away from a long trip, you

5:08

don't ever look at me like this. So

5:10

what the fuck ever? But she enjoyed it

5:12

though. Mhmm. So for people who don't know

5:14

who Alex is, asks you who are you?

5:16

I'm Alex Reid.

5:19

I'm

5:20

an artist. I was, like,

5:22

the first black k pop idol, you know,

5:25

no Asian

5:25

descent, and that hadn't been done before.

5:28

And I was just a really big k pop fan.

5:30

And so when I got that opportunity, I headed over

5:32

there. Now I just consider myself

5:34

just an artist in general, you know, an

5:36

international artist and I'm

5:38

a writer and dancer

5:40

and all things creative. Okay. The thing that

5:42

I'm curious about is this. Right? Like, I've

5:45

now, I'm a Korean

5:47

guy, but You

5:48

are. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

5:51

Oh, no. Like,

5:53

got messed up.

5:57

I'm so curious about. Number

5:59

one,

5:59

how did you even get into the

6:02

Korean music space?

6:03

Yeah. So it was really random. Like,

6:05

I actually feel like it's the most faithful

6:07

thing. Like, if you don't believe in fate and then

6:09

you hear the story, you're like, okay.

6:10

So my first

6:13

introduction to, like, Korean culture, was

6:15

when my family hosted a Korean

6:17

exchange family,

6:19

which is funny because they were what

6:21

is a Korean exchange family? And I'm like, looking

6:23

back, like, yeah, maybe that is a little weird. Like, why did

6:25

we did have a whole family? Like, it wasn't just the students.

6:27

We had, like, a mom. Oh. It was, like,

6:29

a mom, a son, a daughter, and

6:31

then even their uncle came at some point.

6:34

And so that was like my first

6:36

interaction to Korean culture, and I just started

6:38

getting interested. So then my, you

6:40

know, my My attention was up.

6:42

When I heard about Kpop, Ivy

6:45

was the

6:45

first art teacher model. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So,

6:47

sonata of temptation, I was, like, the first thing I

6:49

saw. And at that point, it was it was old. But to me,

6:51

it was like, whoa. This is so fresh and new, and

6:53

I look at the date. And I'm like, wait. What? There's been

6:55

around. And I just, like, went down this

6:57

k pop rabbit hole, and I was just obsessed.

6:59

And, like, you know, at that time K Kpop wasn't

7:01

like a legit legitimate genre here. It

7:03

wasn't like, you know, you love me fun of. Like, people

7:05

were like, what? Like, what is this

7:07

girl? Like, especially me? Like, of all people.

7:09

They're like, what what is this? You like boys wearing

7:11

makeup? Like, they would say all sorts of mean stuff, you

7:13

know? So I just kinda kept it to myself. Like,

7:15

I was just like a down low little k pop

7:17

fan. And and

7:19

then I just I moved out here and I

7:21

had signed record deals. I was on deaf jam

7:23

and publishing ill Sony and just, like, making

7:25

my own album and doing my my own thing.

7:28

And then I ended up in the studio and

7:30

there was a writing camp, like a song camp

7:32

going on for

7:33

Kpop. And I was like,

7:35

oh, how how? Like, this is

7:37

random. Like, this is cool. And

7:39

I kinda just thought it was my opportunity to

7:42

make an impression and maybe

7:44

be a go to songwriter for k

7:46

pop because a lot of the songs are written in English

7:48

and then translated into Korean. So as a

7:50

writer, you didn't have to know Korean or anything

7:52

like that. I thought that was my big opportunity

7:54

and I was trying to really nail it.

7:57

I left a wrap on the bridge

7:59

because I thought

7:59

that would

8:00

like kinda set

8:01

it apart since most writers just leave the

8:03

bridge open. Mhmm. So I I

8:05

thought I was setting myself apart and I was

8:07

just not in the way I thought. The

8:09

ANR was like, Would you ever

8:12

consider joining a k pop group?

8:14

And, Rana? Yes. So,

8:16

Rana, and at that point, we have had a lot of discussion,

8:18

like, during the session. And so I thought something had

8:20

gotten lost in translation. I thought he thought I

8:22

was maybe part Yeah.

8:24

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. because I'm like that he

8:26

like, we were just talking about how there's,

8:29

you know, other parts of Asia,

8:31

there's idles from, you know,

8:33

different

8:34

places, Japan, and, you know,

8:36

but you

8:37

know, they're not all Korean, but they were all

8:39

from Asia. So I

8:41

was very confused when he asked me that. And

8:43

my response, I was like, I'm

8:46

not

8:46

Asian. Yeah. That's literally what

8:48

I said. I was, like, when it came out, I was, like, oh,

8:50

god, why don't you say that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I

8:52

really was

8:52

thinking that he thought, you know, I thought that it was horrible,

8:55

misunderstood. standing. And he was,

8:57

like, laughing. And he's, like, yeah.

8:58

Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. I know. No

9:00

shit. Oh, like, oh, okay. Yeah.

9:03

Yeah. Yeah. So can I know that? he

9:05

said that,

9:05

like, his boss had been wanting to

9:08

diversify the industry for a while and they just

9:10

hadn't found the right person. and

9:12

they had, like, they had another girl that they

9:15

were kind of considering at that

9:17

time. So then I ended up just

9:19

auditioning via Skype for the boss. Like, of course,

9:21

I was like, yes. Like, immediately. But

9:23

at the same time, I didn't wanna seem overly eager.

9:25

Yeah.

9:25

Yeah. Yeah. We always have to do that right. Right.

9:27

Like, yeah. I love it. It's inside your like,

9:29

oh my god. I

9:32

was just

9:32

trying to play because I don't want them to think I was a fan girl

9:35

either, and it would just be, like, okay. Well, we can't

9:37

have, like, just crazy k

9:38

pop fan, like, intruding, like, meaning

9:40

this the industry. So I just

9:42

kinda, like, played it off like, oh, yeah. You know, like, k

9:44

pop's cool. Yeah.

9:46

Like, you know,

9:47

like, I dabbled. I dabbled. I dabbled.

9:49

A little bit. Like, what we worked on today was

9:51

fun. Yeah. So I kinda

9:53

just played it cool. And as soon

9:55

as I got the go ahead, I was out

9:57

there, like, two weeks later, maybe

9:59

ten days. No. No. I was out there two weeks later, and

10:01

then I think I debuted ten days later. It

10:03

was very fucking fast as

10:05

shit. Yeah. It was actually, like, looking

10:07

back. it was the pressure was so

10:09

intense. But, you know, when you're, like, in a high pressure

10:11

situation, you don't really have a choice, but to

10:13

just do it, you don't really think

10:15

about it. So at the time, I was kinda

10:17

just in, like, autopilot, like,

10:20

okay, I'm gonna be debuting. My dream

10:22

is coming true in ten days.

10:24

Like, I gotta do this. You I gotta do this. So

10:26

I was writing my parts for the album.

10:28

I was recording my parts for the

10:29

album. I was shooting my separate part

10:32

music video because they already had the music video for

10:34

the comeback done. Mhmm. And so they just

10:36

inserted, like, my part into it. It

10:38

was

10:38

wild. Like, I don't know if it was stress

10:40

or what, but I threw up, like, during the

10:42

music video shoot. Like, I

10:45

guess I looked a little funny and the director was

10:47

like, are you okay? And

10:49

I was like, Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. And

10:51

he goes, okay. You know, Rowling,

10:53

what a action, the series said action. I

10:55

guess, all over. And I just

10:57

think the stress had gotten had gotten

10:59

to me. That is

11:01

fucking crazy. It was crazy. So

11:03

when when you're

11:05

did

11:06

you have I mean, for a King Kpop star,

11:09

there's there's so much things that you have to do. Right?

11:11

Yeah. Obviously, there's the whole public. It appears

11:13

the aspect of it, which, you know, any

11:15

type of, like, Asian pop, it's a huge

11:17

part of it. I say it's like fucking eighty percent of

11:19

the job. Yeah. Like your image, who

11:21

you are, what people perceive you as to

11:23

be, So for you, like, did you already have, like, a

11:25

background background and dancing and stuff? Because you have to

11:27

do every fucking thing.

11:29

Yeah. So that was that was the plus.

11:31

Was that I had already been, like, I'm just

11:34

I'm really disciplined as it is. Like, when it

11:36

comes to my,

11:37

like, my

11:39

craft. Like, whatever I do, I I

11:41

really go hard.

11:42

So I even now, I

11:44

dance every single day. So

11:46

at that time, I was dancing six hours a

11:48

day anyway. And

11:50

so that was one thing that the head of the company

11:52

really liked. He's like, oh, she's already training.

11:55

Like, she we

11:55

don't have to put her through training

11:57

because she's already she's

11:59

already signed.

11:59

Like, she, you know, has released

12:02

music, has worked with big artists, Plus,

12:05

I was, you know, dancing all the time. So he's

12:07

like, oh, you know, she's good to go,

12:09

which for me, it was like, now that I look back,

12:11

it's like, no, I

12:11

was not to go. Like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not good to go.

12:13

Was the Correvio pretty easy to learn? The Correvio

12:15

was

12:15

fine. Yeah. The Correvio was easy to learn,

12:17

but I had drama. Like, I

12:20

had so much drama, like,

12:22

with the choreographer first off. I had

12:24

I never talked about this actually, but I had

12:26

big drama with the choreographer. Really?

12:29

Yeah. Like, it was wild. And it was

12:31

so crazy. My books my book I have a book.

12:33

I've been writing a book, and it's gonna be so

12:35

good when it comes out. It's just it spells

12:37

all of

12:37

it. But yeah. So I had Basically,

12:39

I think the point of why I should have

12:41

trained was because there were the intangibles that

12:43

I was missing, like maybe singing and

12:45

dancing was cool, but I

12:48

didn't understand, like, the

12:50

temperament that I was supposed to have as an

12:52

idol. What

12:53

do you mean?

12:54

You're supposed to be more, like,

12:57

like, soft spoken and, like,

12:59

maybe not voicing your opinions at all

13:02

times and maybe not, like,

13:04

being so direct with the

13:06

boss. Like, I was very I had a

13:08

great relationship with the head of the company. Like, the one

13:10

who I auditioned for. He

13:12

was cool. Like, he was kind of k

13:14

pop rebel. Mhmm. And so we just

13:16

hit it off. He always wanted to hear my

13:18

ideas. But, of course, I had

13:20

to rely on translation to get my

13:22

idea to him because he didn't speak any English. I

13:24

didn't speak any Korean. So

13:26

it was I mean,

13:29

It was

13:29

a mess. Like, it was truly a mess,

13:31

like, to not speak any Korean. Like So

13:34

with the choreographer, when you when you they

13:36

were just was it a guy or girl? A

13:38

girl. She just didn't like you? Yeah. She

13:40

was crazy. Just off jump.

13:42

Yeah. What

13:43

the fuck? Which way she do? What

13:47

didn't she do? No. Let

13:48

me just say that

13:51

there

13:51

were

13:52

surgeries.

13:53

Oh. We'll just say that. And when did

13:55

you kind of talk? Yeah. Yeah. Let's

13:57

just say it was intense and I

14:00

wasn't

14:02

Like I said, my temperament wasn't

14:05

what it needed to be, and

14:07

I came in, like, if something

14:09

wasn't cool -- Mhmm. -- I was

14:11

coming from a perspective of I'm

14:13

gonna stand up for myself and I'm gonna

14:15

stand up for everybody else. Like -- Yeah.

14:18

-- and slowly I learned

14:20

that that all that did

14:22

was cause

14:22

more and more problems. Like, they're not gonna let you do

14:24

that. Like, they're not gonna let you Yeah.

14:27

Like, like Japanese, Korean,

14:29

or even, like, Taiwanese, Chinese, like,

14:31

company culture. It's it's

14:33

very hierarchical. So it's like, there's a

14:35

hierarchy to this. Like, you don't speak out

14:37

of turn. like this. Like my lady, she told

14:39

me this story where when she

14:41

worked at a and she talked about in a

14:43

podcast too where she you worked at a

14:45

Japanese company. and that

14:48

was in the states. Mhmm. But the conglomerate is in

14:50

Japan. Well, those people came over to the

14:52

states. And she was working for this food

14:54

company and She's

14:56

basically kind of running like the American Division

14:58

for this restaurant.

14:59

She's

15:00

the management. They're talking

15:02

and she's in this meeting as well. And

15:04

then she's letting these guys know, like, oh, this is what's

15:06

happening. They look at her, and they go, you're a woman. You don't

15:08

speak. Oh, that. Yeah.

15:10

And then She was, like, what the

15:12

fuck is going on? Yeah. And

15:14

then obviously, the the people who are,

15:16

like, the American, Japanese people, like, took the

15:18

guy's side. Like, you can't speak to people like

15:20

that here? Right? Yeah. But she was,

15:22

like, fuck this company. Yeah. You know what I mean?

15:24

Yeah. When it

15:26

comes to, like, that I'm not sure how it is now.

15:28

And I'm pretty sure it's getting better from what I've

15:30

heard from, like, other people. But

15:32

probably the time, which was only, like, how many years ago,

15:34

like, five, six years ago? Yeah. Which it wasn't that

15:36

long ago. and it's probably still like that now,

15:38

probably a a little bit better, but

15:40

they have a huge problem with people

15:42

who they believe are under them. talking back

15:44

to this. Yes. In any type of form, whether

15:46

it's constructive, whether it's positive, if it's out

15:48

of turn, they fucking hate it. Yes. And they

15:50

will do everything they can to put you in

15:52

your place. Yes. And

15:53

I didn't know that that's what was happening. That's

15:55

the crazy part. I'm like, why am I getting

15:57

punished all the time? Why am I getting this weird

15:59

treatment? and I really didn't understand that

16:02

it was, like, first off, they didn't like

16:04

that I felt friendly with the

16:06

boss. Like,

16:06

that was already a problem. Yeah.

16:09

Like, why is this girl who just got here?

16:11

Just

16:11

addressing the boss, like, she can talk

16:13

to him anytime she wants and say anything she

16:15

wants to say. I didn't know that was problem. Yeah.

16:17

Learned that was a problem. Then also I learned

16:19

that, yeah, like, if if somebody

16:22

even older than you were, like, higher in

16:24

the hierarchy of know, the

16:25

idols down here, you know, in the company. It's like

16:28

everyone's above you. So

16:30

if something

16:31

is done to you, that genuinely warrants

16:33

an apology. you

16:35

should not be asking for one. Yeah. Yeah.

16:37

Yeah. Yeah. And I did

16:37

not realize that. I'm, like, why isn't she

16:40

apologizing? I'm, like, that was wild.

16:41

Yeah. Like, my

16:42

clothes came it was crazy. Like, I didn't have

16:45

clothes that fit me -- Mhmm. -- and I had a wardrobe

16:47

malfunction. Speaking of

16:48

wardrobe malfunction, how are we Yeah.

16:51

That's all we want. Yeah.

16:53

So I'm I'm thinking like, why isn't anybody

16:56

addressing it or, like, saying, yeah,

16:58

that wasn't cool. Like, we're sorry about that.

17:00

Mhmm. And so, you know, I brought that up.

17:02

And they're like, no no no no one is gonna

17:04

say sorry. I was like, Okay. But, like,

17:06

we can acknowledge it that was bad. Right? So

17:08

my mom has said sorry to me ever so. Really?

17:10

Yeah. My mom has my mom has never said the

17:12

word, sorry. She's openly emitted she goes like, I've never

17:14

said, sorry in my life. She goes, I'm not starting today.

17:16

I'm like, oh, okay. That's cool.

17:19

That's

17:19

so funny. I feel like I love saying sorry.

17:21

Like, I love like, I love knowing that

17:23

we cleared it. Like, I love, like, if I wrong

17:26

somebody, once that sorry

17:28

is said and accepted, like, not that would wrong

17:30

someone on purpose, but you know if something happens where it's

17:32

like, yeah, I need to say, sorry. I love that feeling.

17:34

You say, sorry. They accept it. Well,

17:36

you're the only woman on

17:36

earth who's ever said that. No. No.

17:39

Oh, comments are coming in.

17:41

I don't give my fuck. No. But

17:44

Well, all these

17:47

guys are, like, who the fuck is this girl?

17:49

She's saying sorry. No. But

17:51

when it's I I had

17:53

a conversation with my

17:56

dad

17:56

about this, and then we were talking about,

17:59

like, how

17:59

why Korean men

18:01

of his generation are the way that

18:03

they Right? So -- Mhmm. -- you know, and

18:05

even then, like, maybe not his generation per se,

18:07

but a little bit after him too. Mhmm.

18:09

And it like, he was

18:11

kind of describing it as it's it's

18:13

like this generational trauma that's brought down

18:15

and how they communicate and tell each other

18:17

things. Right? So, you know, people also

18:19

don't realize, like, in Korea, even like

18:21

twenty years ago. Right? Korea

18:23

was advancing technologically

18:25

-- Mhmm. -- but

18:28

because of the war, which wasn't that long ago

18:30

for us, for them either. Like,

18:32

Korea is one of those countries that had to

18:34

really, like, you know, just strap

18:36

up and then fucking really progress. Absolutely.

18:38

Because after they got wrecked, Yeah.

18:40

They had they had like this, like, trauma.

18:43

So the tattooing one at the time, like, the

18:45

president was like, okay. Well, the most important thing to us

18:47

right now is education. That's why you see, like, in

18:49

Korea. Everything is about education

18:51

no matter what the fuck it is. Like,

18:53

education is that fucking important where you

18:55

come from, the level of education you have is is directly

18:57

correlated to how you're treated and how they've

18:59

raised. Right. So it started from that reformation.

19:01

Yeah. And then beyond that, like,

19:03

he was talking about how, you know, when I was a

19:05

kid and, like, the way your dad, your grandfather used

19:07

to treat me and how I used I

19:10

treated you, is also a reflection

19:12

of the the hard times that I grew up in. Right?

19:14

So -- Yeah. -- there's like a hard core

19:16

military culture. Mhmm. So the way

19:18

they would teach other people like in the

19:20

military or even beyond that was

19:22

like literally like treating them like

19:24

shit. So if they wanted to get something out

19:26

of somebody, they would be like, they

19:28

would have them, like, take out your problem, which is like, you would

19:30

just be on your feet in your head with your hands

19:32

down your back, and you would, you know, balance your head

19:34

in your feet together as a form of punishment and it's like

19:36

a of respect. And so this is how they would communicate --

19:38

Yeah. -- and it transfers over and over. So -- Yeah. --

19:40

that type of stuff is still within company

19:42

culture. Right. It's like and generationally,

19:44

it's just gonna get better and better

19:46

and better. you know, now when you see in Korea, like, when I I went

19:48

there, what, this year in spring and I

19:50

haven't been there since I was fourteen -- Mhmm. -- and the

19:52

country is different. Like, I when

19:54

if I look at my pictures from where I, like, in

19:57

Sacramento or LA or whatever, ten years ago from

19:59

now or twenty years ago, it looks generally the

20:01

same. Yeah. Korea looks

20:03

different. It's like somebody took me into a time capsule,

20:05

like, two hundred years into the future. Wow.

20:07

So it's and it's weird how now I

20:09

see individualism in Korea.

20:11

Yeah. So twenty years ago, I

20:13

specifically remember this. I I looked around and I told

20:15

my mother, why does everybody dress the same? Right. Why does

20:17

everybody look the same? The haircut same? They dress the same?

20:19

What the fuck is going on? Well,

20:21

now when I went there, now whether it's because of

20:23

globalization or the Internet, even my

20:25

focus address differently. Like -- Yeah. -- some

20:27

people are dressed like right now the hot thing is address

20:29

like like fucking like sixties,

20:31

like green lightning, you know, a

20:33

contra volta type of shit with a little t

20:35

shirt -- Uh-huh. -- with a high waisted fucking

20:37

face. Right. it's like the hot thing right now. I saw

20:39

all, like, the young kids, like, in home they're wearing that shit.

20:41

Yeah. But then you still see some

20:43

people a little more conservative. Some people

20:45

weren't, like, street wear shit. Yeah. But it's all a little

20:47

different. because everybody's wearing different shoes. I'm

20:49

like, what the fuck is going on? See, when I was there,

20:51

that was

20:51

one of the things I noticed was I was like,

20:54

everyone's wearing the same shoes,

20:56

the same jacket -- Same jacket. --

20:58

actually going at the end of the month.

21:00

Okay. And so I'm really excited now that you're saying

21:02

this. I'm excited to see even the change from when I

21:04

was there until now because I think we'll

21:06

also coming from LA where

21:08

everyone is so, you know, unique and

21:10

individual and all

21:12

that. Going there, I just felt this huge

21:14

focus on the unit. Huge focus

21:16

on the group. Mhmm. And I

21:18

noticed that just

21:20

me dressing differently, and

21:22

being so different was such a

21:25

big deal. It was so like,

21:27

what? She's

21:27

so weird. Like, what? And for me,

21:29

I'm like, I'm not doing anything

21:32

super crazy, but I just know that

21:34

the focus

21:35

over there was on

21:38

the unit. And I think

21:41

special treatment? No

21:43

good.

21:43

Too

21:44

much individuality. Too much speaking

21:46

your mind was not good. And I'm only

21:49

speaking within my k pop, you

21:51

know, company experience. So I don't know

21:53

how that represents Korea on a

21:55

whole. Like, if we're talking about the

21:57

macrocosm of the situation, but I

21:59

know that within my experience

22:01

within the company, it was all

22:03

very much like everybody has to fall

22:05

in line and be, you

22:06

know Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

22:08

when

22:08

I looked around, I'm like, everyone has on the

22:10

same jacket -- Mhmm. -- and the same

22:13

shoes. That's how

22:13

it was. Like, legit. I'm like,

22:15

that's not even an exaggeration. And the only thing is about And

22:17

the same haircut Same fucking haircut, same

22:20

everything, girls wear the the makeup exactly

22:22

the same. Yeah. Would you still see that

22:24

now? But it's not as much as it

22:26

was before? And it was just very refreshing

22:28

to see, like, a youth kind of

22:31

find themselves in a space that's

22:33

not like everybody else. Yeah. Like, they were

22:35

expressing themselves, like, like his individual. So, like, oh, look

22:37

at this shit. This is this is kinda

22:39

fucking nice, and it was a it's a big

22:41

attraction of what my vision of what Korea was,

22:43

obviously, when I was younger, when I was fourteen

22:45

years old. just to see kind of like maybe what

22:47

the internet has done to them -- Mhmm. -- is really

22:49

great. Right? Yes. And then obviously, like, when

22:51

you see a lot of foreigners in

22:53

in Korea, which we we always had a lot of foreigners in Korea.

22:55

But now it's like, you see them and they're

22:57

kinda thriving out there. Right. So it's it's

22:59

a bit different. know what I

23:01

mean, it's kind of enjoyable, probably a lot different from when

23:03

you were there, you know. I

23:03

think so because I saw, like, well, it's

23:06

also where I was. Like, I always have

23:08

to remember that I wasn't living

23:10

in Korea for most of the

23:11

time I was there. I wasn't living.

23:13

You know, I was working. And

23:15

I was in this it it's just it

23:17

was really crazy. I was in a bubble you know,

23:19

it's really living in a bubble. So I have to take into account that what I

23:22

experienced is maybe

23:23

not representative

23:24

of anything

23:26

else. but I did feel at

23:28

that time, like, extreme,

23:31

like, extreme differences in

23:33

the way that individualism was

23:36

perceived and in the way that, you know,

23:38

people people looked

23:39

at

23:40

you if you were branching out. Like,

23:43

I fell eyes.

23:44

you know, I always felt Like, what are you doing? Like, get back

23:46

in place?

23:47

Yeah. I always felt that. And that's that's actually

23:49

a big theme in my book is

23:51

how I saw, like,

23:54

kind of my individuality transfer

23:56

out to other members of the group, you

23:58

know, and how

23:59

I also

24:00

when I was out of the k pop realm, like, after I

24:03

quit the group, I was still in Korea for about a

24:05

month. Mhmm. And that's when I actually got

24:07

to immerse myself in

24:09

Korea and meet other people and do

24:11

all that. And I actually realized

24:14

the positive side

24:16

of of the the

24:17

focus on the unit as opposed to the individual,

24:19

and I understood how

24:22

things that I perceived as like

24:25

judgment were really just

24:27

coming from

24:28

a place of inquisitiveness.

24:30

Yeah.

24:30

Yeah. Yeah. You know, we're just never seeing it

24:32

and wondering what they were seeing. when

24:34

I was in the bubble, felt so judged. Mhmm.

24:36

Especially, like,

24:37

when you're in countries too where I

24:39

feel, like, sometimes, like, with Americans

24:41

when they go to another country, they

24:43

have like these perceived their perception

24:45

of what that country should be is based on

24:47

what their life is in America. and that's,

24:49

like, the hard part to explain. Like, I was watching this

24:51

video online where it was they were

24:54

interviewing a bunch of people who

24:56

lived in Japan. Right? And they're all foreigners,

24:58

whether they're from America, whether they're from

25:00

Australia or whatever whatnot. Yeah. And a lot of the

25:02

stuff that they said, and they weren't being malicious or

25:04

anything. Right? But because the question that they were asking is,

25:06

like, what do you hate about Japan. And the

25:08

stuff that they don't like about Japan that they wish

25:10

they could change is like, you well, you

25:12

wanna change it's about Japan because you're trying to turn

25:14

Japan into America. Right. or Australia. Right. And

25:16

it's not bad. Yes. So what you

25:18

dislike about this culture isn't something that's

25:20

wrong with the culture. It's it's wrong with your

25:22

perception about what another place should

25:24

based on what you want. Right. Exactly. And so There's

25:26

no should.

25:26

It's like yeah. Based on what's mean should be. I always

25:28

say there's no should. It's what should. It's what

25:30

it is. And if that doesn't work

25:33

for you, then you don't have to be doesn't mean

25:35

that there's a fault in

25:36

the place for being what it is. Yeah. And so,

25:38

like, for example, we were talking about the idea

25:41

of you know, being a whole

25:43

unit. Right? Well, yeah, in terms of,

25:45

like, your individuality, there's a part where, yeah,

25:47

you feel like it gets sucked out. But the part of, like, where

25:49

you think of things like holistically, like, as a

25:51

huge group in a unit, you think very altruistically.

25:53

Like, you think about your neighbor, you think about how

25:55

they feel -- Absolutely. -- what you're doing, like, that's

25:57

why you see places like Korea, which is or

25:59

Japan. It's a lot cleaner than other places. Yes. because when you

26:01

throw trashes on your floor on and that

26:03

that's your country. This is your land. This is a

26:06

representation of yourself. Yes. And so

26:08

when I was in Korea, one of the things that I really

26:10

enjoyed and and I felt this way about a lot of

26:12

the places that I was at, and I got to ask

26:14

questions. And I was like, oh, everybody's so

26:16

nice here and they go, and four

26:18

or five people said this to me. They're like, well,

26:20

when foreigners come to Korea, you know, us as

26:22

store owners and shop owners, we want people leaving

26:24

this place knowing how great our country is. I

26:26

love that. And so I don't hear that here. You know

26:29

what I'm saying? That's

26:31

that's probably not everybody's question.

26:34

Yeah. That's to be

26:36

honest. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that that's

26:38

like There's a positive and negative to

26:40

it. Right? Where sometimes where you have a country like

26:42

Korea who is so you

26:44

know, ethnically or Koreanly, like,

26:46

so centric. They're sometimes having an outsider feels

26:48

odd to them. Right? Yeah. It feels like a piece of

26:50

them is disappearing. Yes. You know, and I've seen that

26:52

a lot where you know, a lot of GIs will marry, you know,

26:55

a Korean person and they find out they're, you

26:57

know, they get a little sad because they didn't marry

26:59

a Korean person. Mhmm. And then what I started to understand was

27:01

that they a little bit of a country

27:03

disappear. Uh-huh. You know, which I I understand

27:05

to a certain extent, like, Korea or any

27:07

other country is not like America. This is

27:09

not like a melting Kpop. Right.

27:11

And I kinda like places that aren't so

27:13

ethically, like, diverse.

27:16

And I know that sounds really bad. It's because

27:18

sometimes I wanna go visit a country where it's just like one

27:20

thing. One I could go back to my lovely land.

27:22

Wait. Wait. You know what I mean? And I don't think that's a fault

27:24

to their own. It's great that they're being a lot more

27:26

inclusive or whatever, but sometimes

27:28

too, like, when I see other, like, Korean guys and

27:30

or Korean girls and they refused to, like, learn

27:32

the language or the culture. Mhmm. But

27:34

at the same time, they post, like, I'm so proud to

27:36

be Korean and I'm like, that's great.

27:38

know nothing about where you're from. Mhmm. Is this just lip service because

27:40

it's on social media? Or do you do you

27:42

really want to know what it's like to to

27:44

be your countryman? Right?

27:46

And I was born in Korea, but I only came here when I was too. So

27:48

-- Oh. -- a lot of my stuff was self discovery

27:51

later on as I got older. Yeah. Because I didn't

27:53

realize, like, oh, like, let's see why this is

27:55

so important to my parents. Right? And I'm like, oh,

27:57

like, I thoroughly enjoy being

27:59

Korean. Mhmm. So sometimes when people see their

28:01

culture disappear, it makes them a little sad.

28:03

Yeah. You know?

28:03

Yes. For sure. And also, I mean, looking at

28:05

the history and taking into account

28:07

that when you're oppressed as

28:09

a people and when you're held down, and,

28:11

you know, all you

28:13

have is to lift each other up is each

28:15

other. That's the thing. And so it's

28:18

like you would be very wary of

28:21

others.

28:21

You'd be very wary of others trying

28:23

to take down

28:24

your identity when that's already been done to you before.

28:26

Yeah. You know, trying to, like, snuff

28:29

you out. Like, it would be like, that would go on

28:31

for generations. And that's one of the things

28:33

that I realized was when I

28:35

say that they're very focused on

28:37

the unit, in the group as opposed to the

28:39

individual. I mean, it comes

28:41

from having to be. It comes from,

28:43

like,

28:43

that's

28:44

they were, you know,

28:46

being oppressed.

28:46

Yeah. Yeah. They were trying to be, like, destroyed

28:48

and snuffed out. And all they had was

28:50

to focus on, okay, this

28:53

is us, And this

28:54

is how we're going to pull ourselves out of this. Not to mention,

28:56

there were really known,

28:58

like, natural resources. Yeah.

28:59

Yeah. Yeah. You know, it it

29:00

was really literally, like, have

29:03

to work together, bond

29:04

together, and work -- Mhmm. -- you know,

29:06

to pull ourselves up. Yeah. And essentially

29:09

recreate Yeah.

29:10

And that's the interesting

29:10

thing too like that. Our identity are nations. Like

29:13

the Korean experience and the the Korean American

29:15

experience is so different, you know. And I think

29:17

sometimes too, like, there are listeners who are, from

29:19

Korea and they're, like, that's not how Korean people are. I'm,

29:21

like, listen here, you stupid fuck. Like,

29:23

I'm Korean American. You know, I'm talking about

29:25

my Korean American spirits, you fucking

29:28

fucking fuck. you know, but that's their Korean pride

29:30

speaking. You know, that's not how it is in

29:32

Korea. Didn't say Korea, dummy. I said here

29:34

as a Korean American, they grew up in

29:36

Sacramento, Cal foreigner, you fuck

29:38

Facebook. Fuck yourself. God bless

29:40

you. You know? God

29:42

bless you. Is that fucking

29:44

Korean rage and pride? Just what the

29:46

fuck up? But yeah.

29:48

Like going to Korea was such an awesome experience.

29:50

Like, it just feels weird. Like, I understand, like,

29:52

when people I mean, I know this sounds so

29:54

Struggle, but it's like, everybody should just go back to where they came

29:56

from. You know, and go

30:00

visit. Now what do you mean? Here's what I

30:02

mean. Visit go back to where you

30:04

come from. you'll understand, like, this weird

30:06

connection. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like like

30:08

going to Korea as an adult and feeling feeling this I was

30:10

like, you know, I could actually fucking live

30:12

here. Hell yeah. You know, and I could love Korea. Yeah.

30:14

I could live there. I just live there. I know.

30:16

It's pretty cool, man. Like, I I

30:18

mean, for YouTube, like, did you feel

30:20

I wonder, like, in your case, just because I

30:23

know, like, ethnically

30:26

homogeneous places are a

30:28

little it's a little hard on people who look

30:30

different and then are, like, different ethnicities. Did

30:32

you feel any of that weirdness? Yeah.

30:34

I felt that weirdness because all, I,

30:36

like, didn't see any other black

30:37

people. Like -- Yeah. -- because like I said, I

30:39

was living in seriously a bubble. Like, I was

30:41

so busy -- Yeah. -- the idle schedule is

30:44

insane. I didn't get to see

30:46

anything. I didn't go get to see sight. I didn't

30:48

get to do anything until I was,

30:50

like, out of

30:51

that situation. And then I felt like I actually

30:53

got to experience Korea. And yes, I

30:55

did see black people. And I did

30:57

see foreigners. And I went to areas where,

30:59

you know, there was army bases, and then

31:01

there's all, you know, everybody black and white there? Like, yelling,

31:03

like, kongnam is like, oh, shit. Look at all

31:05

these motherfuckers. Yeah. Here they are. Where

31:07

have you been hiding? Yeah. But,

31:09

yeah, before

31:09

that, it just felt like it

31:12

was just

31:13

me. Yeah. Get ready

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33:09

apply. c dish dot

33:11

com for details. Yes. And

33:14

there were a lot of issues with,

33:16

like, doing my hair, doing my makeup.

33:19

And things like

33:21

that kind of

33:22

start to

33:23

make you feel left out when it's

33:25

like every single morning.

33:27

you're going in at five AM and everyone's getting

33:29

their hair done and getting their makeup done and

33:31

you're just like sitting there in the lobby, like

33:34

waiting for them to be like, Oh,

33:36

oh, yeah. Her. Oh, put her in that room.

33:38

Oh, and then I do my own hair, my own makeup.

33:40

So I did, like, kinda just feel

33:42

like there was no there's

33:44

no preparation for me. Like, there was no, like, what are we

33:46

gonna do with her? Like, how do we you know, it's just

33:48

kinda like, oh, she'll do her own. Okay. Great. Do do

33:50

your own. And that just

33:52

kinda made me feel like an outsider. I guess that's

33:54

where outsider. Yeah. Yeah.

33:55

Yeah. Yeah. And then also, like, the whole

33:57

thing when I debuted was

33:59

first black

34:01

idol. You

34:02

know, there hadn't like, there had

34:04

been, you know, people

34:06

who were like, with Korean and black or, like, you know, some

34:08

kind of Asian and black, but it wasn't during

34:11

the Idyll era. So -- Yeah. -- you

34:13

know, during the Idyll group era, it

34:15

was a first, and I didn't really know that it was

34:17

going to be, like, I didn't know there was gonna be so

34:19

much press on that. Actually, I had no idea.

34:21

Like, I actually just thought I was gonna be,

34:23

like, any other rookie and it would

34:25

just be not a big deal when I debuted.

34:26

Like, I really didn't think

34:28

anything of it. And

34:29

then so I was really,

34:31

like, shocked when it

34:33

where like,

34:34

every headline was that. And I was, like,

34:36

on the news. You know? And

34:38

I was, like, wait. Is it this news worthy?

34:42

And then the way that people responded to, like,

34:44

oh, she's ruining, like,

34:46

k pop. Like Oh. Yeah.

34:47

Like, if this is the first step, like, she's

34:50

ruining it. know,

34:52

like, they they thought they I guess

34:53

it was threatening the idea

34:56

of their being I guess, like,

34:58

on one hand, I understand people like to k pop

35:00

how how it is. I

35:02

don't want change. I don't like change either personally.

35:04

Yeah. You know? I get I get that

35:06

to some extent where they're just like, okay,

35:08

we have enough

35:08

other music. We want this

35:11

music. but I just think you're going to really

35:14

consider the fact that k has

35:16

a lot of outside

35:18

influence and specifically from

35:20

both

35:20

culture, outside influence. So then that just makes me feel

35:22

like, you

35:22

know, you gotta consider that and consider that the

35:24

producers and the writers behind

35:26

producers in the right

35:27

the scenes. you know,

35:29

a lot of them are black, choreographers. And then Almost

35:31

all. That's a lot. That's a lot.

35:33

Yeah. So I just think when you look at that,

35:35

it's not you

35:38

then that change looks a lot less like a change.

35:40

And

35:40

more like, oh, just

35:44

inclusion. and Did you feel they

35:46

kind of, like, used you as, like, their token,

35:48

like It's

35:49

funny, like, my perspective when that changes. Like, at

35:51

first, it was, like, no.

35:54

No. But then as I write, I'm writing a memoir, which is,

35:56

like, pretty much done. Now, it's just it's kinda,

35:58

like, in editing now. Mhmm. And

35:59

then a novel. And as

36:02

I write

36:04

the novel

36:04

was more like kind of an idealized version

36:06

-- Mhmm. -- of the story, like, if things

36:08

had kinda gone a little more how I wanted them

36:11

to go. and also focuses more on like my

36:13

love life and it's a fun it's

36:15

a fun book. But the more that

36:17

I write those and

36:19

get into those, my perspective shifts where I'm like, well, if it

36:21

was so, like, just for, like, the sake

36:24

of the music and the

36:26

diversity and he thought I was just such like a

36:28

cool composer, you

36:30

know, then, like, why this? And why like, it's like I start piecing

36:32

things together. And sometimes I do feel a little

36:34

bit like, oh, you know, the way that it was

36:36

rushed, the way that it was, like,

36:39

you couldn't even wait one comeback. You can let me,

36:41

like, learn a little Korean. Yeah. Let

36:43

me, like, show me around a little

36:45

bit. So

36:46

ideally, how would you have wanted to go?

36:48

Oh, ideally. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, it really wasn't

36:50

built to last, like, the way

36:52

that it was done. It wasn't built

36:54

for, like, long term success. It was

36:57

built

36:57

for like a quick hit of press basically

36:59

is all it kinda worked for. And then,

37:01

of course, opening the door

37:03

for for other you

37:05

know, ethnicities come in, so that was cool

37:07

and all. But I think the way that

37:09

it was rushed, it just set it up

37:11

to be like, an

37:13

experiment. Mhmm. You know, like, how

37:15

is this gonna work? How is this

37:17

gonna go? How are people gonna perceive this? How is

37:19

she gonna do her hair? How it was

37:21

kind of

37:21

like the Truman Show. Right? You know, it was more experimental.

37:23

And if I if I had,

37:26

you know, done

37:28

it the way I would have wanted to looking back, I

37:30

would have taken at least a year to

37:32

train -- Yeah.

37:33

-- for

37:34

sure. Minimum.

37:35

Minimum. And never had anyone teaching me Korean. I just taught

37:38

myself, like, so my Korean

37:40

is, like, sucky. You know? Mhmm. Like,

37:42

now I can understand

37:44

really well. But when

37:46

it comes to speaking, like, I know I'm messing

37:48

up all the stuff because I know I'm messing everything up, you

37:50

know. Because I just think having a

37:52

teacher would have been great to, like,

37:54

fight a year of really

37:56

focused Korean study, learning

37:58

language, and also learning the ins and

37:59

outs of the culture. learning what's

38:02

expected and what's acceptable and what's

38:04

not. You know, I'm not saying I would

38:06

always, like, conform to

38:08

what, you know, the company wanted

38:09

from me. But at least if I had known what was

38:12

expected It would've been way easier for you to navigate. It would've

38:14

been easier

38:14

for me to navigate because Is that why you

38:15

feel like it it

38:18

wasn't based on longevity because if they did, they would have taken the time to develop you

38:20

that way. Absolutely. Yeah. Like, if

38:21

they thought it was something that could

38:23

really work long term, there would it

38:25

would have been done differently.

38:26

because they do that for for idol stars.

38:28

Like, they literally have, like, etiquette classes. Yeah.

38:30

Yeah. How to conduct yourself in front of

38:32

TV? Like, what to say? How to say it?

38:34

what you shouldn't say, what you should do -- Yeah. -- what you eat --

38:36

Right. -- how you bathe, how you wipe

38:39

your ass. Right. You know, But

38:41

that's the thing too. Like I mean, a lot of fans don't

38:43

really they don't want these no

38:46

matter how many times they hear it, they don't want

38:48

to believe Right? They're like, what

38:50

are you talking about? They're all individuals. They do exactly what they wanna do. No.

38:52

They don't. They've invested millions of

38:54

dollars into every fucking one of these

38:58

kids. Yeah. And they own their asses. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Until their contract is up

39:00

and they're free, then then they can go ahead and continue

39:02

with but until that contract is while that

39:04

contract is still there, they are the property of

39:08

that Absolutely. And no matter how many times these fans, they don't

39:10

wanna hear it, they just don't believe it. They oh, they said

39:12

that because that's what they believe in. Not really.

39:14

No. You may I mean, maybe but Maybe

39:18

not. Right. Exactly. You know? Yeah. So, like, so when I, you

39:20

know, I had a conversation with a friend who

39:22

they were, like, visibly upset

39:24

when they found out all this stuff about it was a

39:26

group. What is this like a the

39:28

fucking big bang.

39:30

You know, a couple of those members got some shit. They're

39:32

like, I can't believe it. I thought I knew them. What

39:34

made you think you knew me? You

39:36

don't know them. Yeah. Just like about our celebrities here in the States, you don't know shit about

39:38

these guys. Some of these, like, celebrities that I know they give

39:40

a lot of praise to. I've met them personally. They're the biggest

39:43

piece of shit I know. Yeah.

39:46

and it's like that drives me crazy. And I'm like, no. They're terrible.

39:48

Like, they're horrible. Yeah. Like, these

39:50

people are terrible. Why are we, you know, looking

39:52

That's what I'm saying. It's like, I

39:55

I always want people to just separate it. So you could

39:57

enjoy them for the entertainment value, but when they

39:59

do something

39:59

fucked up, don't be surprised because -- Yes. -- none of you know

40:02

who You don't

40:02

know them. Right? And that goes, like, a lot of ways where like, people wanna,

40:04

you know, insert a lot of opinions on

40:06

people who they don't know or, like,

40:10

insert a lot of just, like, personal feelings -- Mhmm.

40:12

-- onto a celebrity. And it's, like, dude,

40:14

I just don't

40:14

know. I made this, like, tweet

40:16

where because I was I

40:19

I liked Big Bang's music.

40:22

Mhmm. So I was, like, I just wrote this tweet. I

40:24

was, like, big bang over

40:26

fucking ABTS Right? Put that up.

40:28

I can't. the rage that came at. I mean, most people told me did

40:30

that. You didn't even mean to.

40:31

You weren't just like I just like them

40:32

more. You know what I mean? I didn't think it

40:34

was a big deal. You weren't try

40:37

to, like, get the wrath that was coming your way. Yeah.

40:39

Like, if I said, like, listen, dude, fucking

40:41

scramble days over fucking over easy eggs. I

40:43

think people be fucking mad and then somebody wrote

40:45

this thing where they were like, This girl wrote this whole thing. She

40:47

goes, you don't know how much they changed my life, blah blah

40:49

blah blah. And I was like, I just wrote

40:51

back. Nobody gives a fuck. I just said that

40:54

I like,

40:56

scramble eggs over fucking, over easy eggs, and you flipped out who

40:58

the fuck cares. Yep. Hang

41:00

on. And obviously -- Harsh. -- sensible people

41:02

came in and they're like, He

41:05

could like whoever the fuck he likes. I wasn't shitting on

41:07

them. But even if I did shit on them, who the

41:09

fuck hit? I

41:09

thought you were gonna say that that was your response. I should

41:12

have known better, but I thought you were gonna

41:14

say like, the truth of the matter, which is like, no, I'm really glad that they changed

41:16

your life. Personally, that's

41:18

not my experience. I thought that's what you're about

41:20

to say. I

41:21

think you'd a fuck. Alright? I'm glad that's what they

41:23

did for you. They didn't do that for me. I don't

41:25

give a fuck. And I

41:27

think, like, just Nowadays

41:30

too, it's just so hard for people. Like, k

41:32

pop fandom, even when I was grown up, was already

41:34

toxic as fuck. Yeah. It was bad. It

41:36

was bad. There were, like, HOT members when

41:38

they found out that one of the members

41:40

actually had a girlfriend. They were sent death threats to

41:42

the girl saying that they'll find and found their

41:44

addresses that they would kill them. They were gonna commit

41:46

suicide. Yeah. And this is back in the day

41:48

where it was a lot harder to resend. They wrote these

41:50

letters back. Yeah. It was a tweet.

41:52

This motherfuckers had a quill in a pen. I

41:54

can't lie. you know, they want that shit in in Korean

41:56

cursors. You know, they had the fucking long sleeve in the

41:58

fucking box like this on

42:00

a scroll. and

42:03

then I am a go to kill myself.

42:05

Like, Jesus Christ. Like, like, fucking shit

42:07

is this. I would I

42:09

don't remember reading this stuff, and I'm like, this is

42:12

not real. So I when I was in

42:14

Cape Town too They mean it. There was

42:16

there was this group called Tongbongchiki, DBSK

42:19

And this is when they split, and

42:21

one of the the members was there. And

42:23

he was doing his solo debut in the States,

42:25

and it was, like, in this plaza in Cape

42:27

Town. and I saw this girl go up an

42:29

escalator looking at him, just

42:32

going, crying her eyes up because she got to

42:34

see him. And I was like, yo,

42:36

what the fuck is

42:38

this? This is crazy. I mean,

42:40

we had versions of that too. Like, if you look up

42:42

by old clips of people meeting, like, Britney

42:44

Spears. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Britney's fucking crowd

42:46

always. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

42:48

I

42:48

mean, I I always think about this because I

42:51

feel like I've never been, like, that kind of

42:53

fan -- Mhmm. -- of anything. Like, I let Kansas

42:55

basketball is, like, the

42:56

closest fan, like, that's what I'm a real fan

42:58

of where, like, I actually, my mood is

43:01

it if they win or lose, you know. But, like,

43:03

as far as, like, you know, idolizing

43:05

and worshiping play I mean, I just you

43:07

ever get to that place. Big fan of

43:10

a lot of people but I never

43:12

idolize anybody. Right. I guess it's the idolize.

43:14

Because I can appreciate what like, for example,

43:16

like, let's say I met

43:18

somebody like like Brian McKnight. Brian McKnight was a huge part of influence,

43:20

my music, everything else. Right? If I

43:22

met him, I would be like, wow, this is amazing. I get

43:24

to see this guy

43:26

who, like, consider one of the greatest, like, vocalist, like -- Right. -- dishes

43:28

ever.

43:29

But it it's not gonna wreck

43:31

me. You know what I mean? Right. Because he's still

43:33

a human being. And I

43:35

appreciate the art that he created. I don't know him as an individual.

43:37

Exactly. He's got to, you know, learn how to separate

43:39

that stuff. Yeah. Cape Pot Phantom, though, it's like, no.

43:41

We know every I've seen every

43:44

variety show I know how they act I

43:46

know what their favorite food is. It's like, you mean that script that they rehearsed over and

43:48

over before they went out and they talked to the company about

43:50

it before they went out?

43:53

You mean that thing? Right. But, you know, it's just

43:55

like, I get it, but I just want people to just

43:57

chill, you know. But

43:58

the thing is I feel like k pop fans

43:59

are the best fans in the world for that

44:02

very reason. because I felt like they had my

44:03

back so hard before they even

44:06

knew anything about me. Like when news came out that I

44:08

was debuting -- Mhmm. -- like a press release

44:10

came out And it was like, I

44:12

already had, like, unwavering

44:14

support. Like, they didn't even know yet

44:16

if I was talented. Like, they didn't know if I could say, they didn't know I

44:18

could wrap, they didn't know if I could dance. didn't

44:20

matter. Mhmm. They were like, she is

44:22

repping for us. Yeah.

44:23

Yeah. Yeah. And we're here for it. Yeah. And I like that

44:25

because

44:25

I felt like it gave me like, it took a little

44:28

bit of Edge off a little of the

44:30

pressure. I was under so much pressure, and it

44:32

took a little bit off. So be like,

44:34

oh, I have like

44:34

a built in, like, okay, these people are

44:37

riding for me. Mhmm. And it just

44:39

like gave me because I'm not one of those people

44:41

who, like, is driven by, like, haters. I know

44:43

a lot of people say, like, I wanna, like, prove

44:45

the haters wrong. Yeah. You know? Not

44:47

me. I don't No. That doesn't drive me. Like, it

44:49

just does it. So I kinda like Is it

44:52

healthy? That's

44:52

healthy because I'm the other way. You're the other way?

44:54

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. For some reason,

44:57

create fake enemies in my head. I'm like, yeah, who's talking

45:00

shit right now? And then nobody

45:02

is. No. We'll see nobody.

45:04

Okay. Yeah.

45:06

Yeah. I just I don't know. So I I

45:09

like having people rooting for me because it feels really

45:11

good to be able to, like, prove them right. You know?

45:13

It feels good to be, like, oh, to have

45:15

my back,

45:15

and I'm Doing a good wish. Maybe

45:17

I'm

45:17

doing it wrong. Yeah. Maybe maybe try that

45:19

way. I just feel like I can't focus

45:21

on like negativity and hate because then

45:23

it's like this dark

45:25

Like, even if I'm proving

45:26

them wrong, it just feels like

45:28

now they're in

45:29

my space. Oh, yeah. Like a

45:31

percent. I don't like it. IIII

45:33

joke a lot, but, yeah, two percent agree. No. I guess because there was a there was a period

45:35

where I've talked about this podcast where every

45:38

bit of my motivation to do

45:40

something was hearing something that

45:42

somebody said negative towards me

45:44

and then doing what they can do and doing it

45:46

better and having them come and crawl back

45:48

to me. You know? And it felt really good. You know? because

45:50

it's funny. It's it's an amazing feeling, but

45:52

after you've accomplished that, you're left with nothing.

45:54

Right. Like, there's there's nothing left. It's like, oh, you prove

45:56

them wrong.

45:58

Now

45:58

what? And now you have to look at them crawling and it's like No. That

45:59

great. No. I

46:00

feel like I feel great because I feel

46:02

like,

46:02

me and I should really tell

46:05

you to, like, just but

46:07

I'm not going

46:07

to. I'm not going to. I'm like, oh, you're on your knees. Scrape your knees until

46:09

they bleed. Try you

46:12

stupid idiot. But

46:14

then I'm left with nothing after, because I'm sad. So I'm like, oh, but I

46:16

still want them to be on their fucking meat. Like,

46:18

I I fucking love it. You piece of shit

46:20

is your piece of shit. You deserve to be

46:23

there. Right? And now I'm glad you know that you're a piece of shit.

46:25

But they all know. Well, not my fans. My fans

46:27

are great. You guys are fantastic. But He's

46:30

not talking to you. Yeah. But like that motivating

46:32

factor of, like, trying to

46:34

prove the people who you love. Right? It's like,

46:36

that's way better. Yeah. I

46:38

a hundred percent agree with that. You know, I

46:40

think that's way more positive. And

46:42

it's it's It's a longer goal that could last for a longer time.

46:44

Right. And obviously, what I had, like, it doesn't

46:46

it doesn't stay forever. You know what I

46:48

mean? brief. Yeah. A hundred Have

46:50

you ever tried, like, dating in Korea? Yeah. Oh,

46:52

did you what was that like? I'm so curious.

46:54

What does that look like in Korea?

46:56

Well, for me, it was, like, sneaking around because

46:58

-- Oh. -- it's in your contract,

47:00

you

47:00

know. Oh. Yeah. Because okay.

47:03

So when you're referencing, like, like,

47:06

you know, the superfans, like, going crazy and wanting to

47:08

kill people and tell them to die.

47:11

So that can really ruin business. It's

47:13

not good for business. So

47:15

think of this. If I was

47:17

caught dating, I'm not

47:20

gonna say it. I was gonna give a horrible

47:22

but like that could render me

47:24

Yeah. Yeah. It's a

47:25

target. I'm not gonna do it. But I'm just You know what I'm saying? Yeah. If

47:27

I was Okay. Okay?

47:30

okay

47:31

Now suddenly, all

47:33

of their fans, which are much more than

47:35

my fans or my group's

47:37

fans, our fans,

47:38

band our fan all

47:40

want to hate us. Because you took their loved

47:43

one. because we

47:43

took their loved one

47:46

away. Yeah.

47:46

their loved book, whatever. You know?

47:48

Oh, I didn't know that it was in their contractually.

47:50

It's in

47:51

their contractually because that's the point. It's really bad for

47:53

business. That was explained to me that it's really bad

47:55

for business. Like, if If you did get

47:57

caught dating a star, now all of those

47:59

stars fans hate you. And if that's

48:01

bad for business, you you could

48:02

be done. Like, you're done. especially

48:05

the girl. Like, I don't think it's that bad now. Like, I

48:07

I hear about idled dating, but even at the

48:10

time I was there. They want

48:11

the they want the power couple now. Yeah. Yeah.

48:13

Yeah.

48:13

They like that now. but no. Not when

48:15

I was there. It was like, no. Don't do that. And so I was

48:17

sneaking around because can't hold me

48:20

down.

48:21

Yeah. How was that

48:23

like? Is it can could these do speak English too? Yes

48:26

and no. The one who I was, like,

48:27

most serious with

48:30

spoke pretty pretty

48:31

okay English. Okay. But it

48:33

was nice because it was more like

48:35

he encouraged me to try

48:37

to speak Korean. So you could kinda

48:39

see, like, if you for for the fans who really watched me over time, there was like a

48:42

period where I started getting a little

48:44

braver

48:44

and bolder and

48:46

trying to speak like,

48:48

even on camera or on live or

48:50

whatever. Whereas before, I was just so scared, like,

48:52

even when I started to know Korean, I was, like,

48:54

I'm gonna mess it up. I'm mess be was gonna be like, what is

48:56

she saying? You know, I just would get my own head and I

48:59

would just answer in English, like, even if

49:01

I understood in Korean. So

49:03

he kinda encouraged me to feel like,

49:05

it's okay.

49:06

Just try. You know, just the the

49:08

same way. He said the same way that I could understand

49:11

him in he could understand me in Korean. Like, maybe the words aren't

49:13

perfect, maybe I'm

49:14

leaving out, you know, little things here and there,

49:16

but it was enough where you can put it together. And that

49:18

made me feel better because I'm like, oh, yeah, that's

49:21

true. Like, if somebody who isn't a native

49:23

English speaker speaks English, I can get

49:25

it. Like, they might not be saying everything correctly,

49:27

but I can still what they're

49:29

saying, you know, if they know enough words. Yeah.

49:31

So that encouraged me. And so

49:34

that that was

49:35

good. Oh. Yeah. So how long were

49:37

you dating this person first?

49:38

Well, it started

49:40

okay. I have to count. So

49:41

it started in about

49:44

Mhmm.

49:46

It was like about a

49:48

year, year and a half ago. long ass

49:50

time. Yeah. But the thing is we couldn't

49:52

there was like a period where, like,

49:55

I wasn't promoting. And that's when we got

49:58

to really, like, spend time together and that was really

49:59

fun. That's when I was being, like, real sneaky.

50:02

Mhmm. You know, like, leave

50:04

and practice. just like, oh, I'm tired. Yeah. Yeah. You're just gonna go

50:06

home. You know? And then going out and, you

50:08

know, doing whatever. And it was great times. It's good

50:10

times. It's

50:12

really fun. But then when we were both promoting and so I couldn't see each other, but

50:14

we would like see each other at the networks -- Yeah. --

50:16

but we like, he he this

50:18

is the thing about

50:20

him. I felt

50:21

like he he had more to lose than I did. I feel, but he

50:23

was like he

50:26

he like I

50:28

for him. Like, he liked -- Was fun. -- it was

50:30

exciting news. Yeah. So I

50:32

think, like, he would he would do things,

50:34

Charles, like, Like,

50:36

what what is wrong? Like, he just walked by each other and

50:38

he just grabbed your ass for a big blip, and then

50:40

he would just walk away, like, what

50:42

motherfucker? What are you doing? Let's talk

50:44

to that fuck. These are still

50:46

-- Yeah. -- these are still idols. But

50:48

they don't know who the fuck it is, they'll

50:50

sell whatever. Yeah.

50:52

So, I mean, it was fun because, like, you

50:54

know, we would, like, kinda find ways to,

50:56

like, see each other, like, at the network and

50:59

stuff like that. How fucking exciting days.

51:00

Yeah. It was fun. That's why I wanna

51:02

try it a novel because I'm like, in the memoir,

51:04

I do go into it, you know, I tell the

51:07

truth on, you know, the situation. but

51:09

it was so much fun to play with that in, like, you know,

51:11

a fiction young adult way -- Mhmm. --

51:14

because there was so much to pull

51:16

from, like, from like, close

51:18

calls, almost getting caught, and, like,

51:20

things like that. It just felt like there was a whole

51:22

story there that I the memoir is

51:24

more about. me and my relationship to Korea, and that was just, like,

51:26

part of it. But the novel is, like,

51:28

really love story. Well, so you guys

51:30

were a

51:30

long distance thing because you're going back and forth.

51:34

Yes.

51:34

Yes. But, like, when I left left,

51:36

we, like, it was done. Like, when

51:38

I left left. Oh, so you

51:39

guys broke up because you

51:42

left? Yeah. was that

51:43

hard? Me and breakups

51:45

is real interesting.

51:46

It sounds like

51:48

a sociopath or something, but For

51:51

some reason, I I

51:54

get over

51:56

everything in three days. Three days. Three days.

51:58

Three days. So you cry

51:59

it out. Yeah. If that

52:02

I mean, for me, it's

52:04

more like I don't know.

52:06

It makes me sound weird, but I feel like

52:08

I'm very I'm very

52:10

good with, like,

52:12

moving

52:12

through my life. Like, I feel like

52:14

I'm good with how Just clothes is closed. Yeah. Yeah. I'm

52:16

pretty good at that. Like, and I think it's

52:18

because, like, for me, like, it was what

52:21

it was supposed to be. You know what I

52:23

mean? Like, it wasn't supposed to be something

52:25

where we're, like, forcing something And

52:27

we're far away. We're on different times, and

52:29

he's promoting. Like, he's a huge star. You know what I

52:31

mean? Like, like, it's it wasn't

52:34

supposed to be agony. It wasn't supposed to be,

52:36

like, stress. It was supposed to

52:38

be nice. And me having

52:40

someone who I could get along with in

52:42

Korea when I felt very stressed and lonely and sad most of

52:44

the time. you know, and that's what it was supposed to be. So for me, it was like,

52:46

it was so great. And,

52:48

like,

52:48

it was

52:49

just great. Wow. That's that's not very creative

52:51

of you, though, man, great

52:53

people. They get they've been going to their

52:55

shit super loud. You gotta make sure everybody have you ever been to a Korean

52:58

funeral? No. Did that shit as a wild

53:00

dude? There's like this whole thing

53:02

where, like, people

53:04

will come see, like, the grieving person. Like,

53:06

if you've ever had a Korean friend and you went

53:08

to, like, this, like, traditional Korean funeral,

53:11

is gonna be, like, the person who's grieving the person, and

53:13

they'll they're screaming their fucking head off.

53:16

Okay. Well, I

53:16

wanna say, when it comes to, like, serious teeth for

53:18

me, I guess it's, like, I don't I don't

53:20

need to grieve a relationship. Like, if somebody passed away.

53:22

Mhmm. Yeah.

53:23

I'm on this. No. Three days only. No. No. No.

53:25

No. No. Alex, three

53:28

decades. after

53:30

three days. That's it. And then you're pretty much fucked. This is

53:32

all this is all false. That's gonna

53:34

be the fuck. No. No.

53:36

I'm actually, like, the far opposite when

53:38

it comes to, like, any kind of,

53:41

like, like, health or, like, you know,

53:43

a loved one is any kind of, like, problems

53:45

-- Yeah. -- I'm the

53:46

complete option. I can't get over it ever. Like,

53:49

you know. Like, I will cry about things that happen. What if things like listening

53:52

to his podcast and

53:54

he goes, I

53:58

probably get a text. I've tried for

53:59

ten years. It's only

54:02

three days. There's a lot of

54:04

cash. Why are you so pissed and all this in

54:06

the podcast? I was like, yeah. She

54:08

really loved being able to hold

54:10

you. Sweet days. Yeah.

54:12

Just see you next time. I guess, holy three

54:14

days. It's my little accent. That's my

54:16

favorite. Oh, my dad. It's so good.

54:19

See. Just a second.

54:21

CRIG is hard out. and

54:23

then you just got over it like that. He's,

54:25

like, writing music about you is shit. His next

54:27

album was about you. It was

54:28

almost like I was happy. Like, not that we were

54:30

breaking up.

54:30

This is just worse. This is just a tenderness. a

54:33

good thing. It's not

54:33

that, like, I wasn't happy about breaking

54:36

up, but I was, like, I looked

54:37

on it so fondly. You know what I mean?

54:39

Like, I felt so It's

54:41

so dramatic how everything went

54:44

down with me

54:44

and Korea and k pop and

54:46

leaving. Like, it was also dramatic. I had enough

54:49

to cry about, you know. And that was,

54:51

like, looking at that and just being, like, we were

54:53

we were good, like,

54:54

we were friends, we were happy, everything was

54:56

nice, and it just felt, like,

54:59

such a bright spot that I

55:01

was almost, like, leaving it, like, with

55:03

a smile. Like,

55:04

this wasn't this wasn't amazing. You just dabbed them

55:06

up real quick. Hey, bro. That's great. It's been real. It's

55:08

good to see you in your best you want the basketball courts,

55:10

baby. Let's do some moves sometimes. Well, I

55:12

love it. Love it, basketball. Look at it.

55:15

So what was the so why did you leave

55:17

the group? I

55:19

What happened with the

55:22

whole

55:22

thing? I

55:22

left the group because it was just no longer it. Like, it

55:25

was no longer like,

55:26

I only do things like that make me happy.

55:29

Yeah. That's just Yeah.

55:31

Clearly, he just left his kind of dust.

55:34

No. I didn't. No. No

55:36

dust. Yes.

55:38

He was not too. It's called curly hair

55:40

tears, you know. Right. Right. Right.

55:42

Like, that is definitely hard. because I I

55:44

think that's about me. When makes you think

55:47

that? curly hair? This is my debut. This

55:50

is my debut. This is my debut single. It's

55:52

called Light

55:54

Skin Leaver. I just wanna

55:56

say, which is like the fuck is this about

55:58

this break.

56:00

Yeah. So I

56:01

yeah. I just do

56:03

The reason I wanted to be an idol is because I always wanted to be an

56:06

idol. Like, I I thought being a k pop star

56:08

was the ultimate. It was a cool

56:10

thing you could be. And when it was,

56:12

it was. And when it wasn't, it

56:14

wasn't. No. I didn't wanna do it anymore.

56:16

And I just didn't feel secure in

56:18

that situation. And I just

56:20

yeah. I didn't wanna be there. Like, I didn't

56:22

feel felt I feel like it's dangerous

56:24

to be in situations that you don't wanna

56:26

be it. Mhmm. Like, if everything is

56:28

pointing to. this is not serving you at this point.

56:30

You just gotta go. You just gotta

56:32

stop. So you just didn't like the experience anymore? Yeah.

56:34

It was

56:34

horrible. Like, at the end, it was

56:36

like, horrible. And I was, like, only saying because I

56:38

felt like I had a point to prove. Like,

56:40

I felt, like, proving my supporters

56:42

right is why I was there. Like,

56:45

I felt, like, people who supported me and looked

56:47

at me as, like, kinda, like,

56:50

the the representative of,

56:52

like, them being able to chase their

56:54

dreams. Like, you know, black

56:56

girls or, you know, anybody.

56:58

Like, guys, like, you know,

57:00

I I like, the fans were everywhere. It

57:02

was like, everyone. You know, like, looking at me is, like, the

57:04

one speck of, like, diversity there and

57:06

being, like, oh, I can make my dreams come true. Yeah.

57:08

So it felt like for me

57:10

to leave, felt like I was letting so

57:12

many people down. It just felt like darn it. So now they're gonna be like, oh, so that experiment

57:14

did not work and no we cannot.

57:18

So aside from, like, the the

57:19

the choreographer, was there anybody else that you were just

57:21

like, dude, this person's a piece of shit?

57:24

Yeah. There were. I had a lot

57:25

of problems. Like, I had I

57:28

felt like, Yeah. I felt like

57:29

I was not

57:30

i was I don't know.

57:31

Like, I

57:32

feel like a lot of

57:35

people didn't want to make it work or didn't want to know me or

57:37

didn't want to like me or didn't want, you know, I just

57:40

felt like I wasn't given a shot by

57:42

a

57:42

lot of people. Do you feel that

57:45

if you had given been given the time to learn the language that that

57:47

could have been alleviated? Absolutely. Mhmm. I

57:49

feel

57:49

like that's the thing.

57:51

Like, I'm not when I say, like, I wasn't given a chance, I don't even

57:53

like, it's not like I feel like people are being

57:56

malicious, you know, most people. Like, I feel like

57:58

most people it was just a matter

57:59

of, like, we were so different.

58:02

And like I said,

58:02

like, for me to be crossing all these

58:04

boundaries that I didn't know I

58:07

was crossing, and rest of the group, like, having

58:09

been together for that long. And then

58:11

I come in and it's like,

58:13

all this press

58:14

like, first, you know, and it was, like,

58:16

all this attention on me. And meanwhile, I'm

58:18

best friends with the boss and it didn't look good.

58:20

You know what I mean? Like, it it I

58:23

can understand other people's perspectives on

58:25

it. And I feel like the same

58:27

way that I

58:28

felt, like, judged by them. They probably

58:30

felt that for me. they probably felt like, oh, she doesn't

58:32

wanna know us even though I did more than

58:35

anything. But it's like when you

58:36

don't when you don't speak the same language,

58:39

and you're under

58:40

these stressful scenarios all

58:42

the time. You can't

58:42

even defend yourself. You can't even commute. That's so

58:45

hard. You can't clarify. You

58:46

can't clarify anything. It's like, everything

58:48

is taken at face value. Everything is just taken at,

58:50

you know, what the best anyone can

58:52

interpret it. And if, like, the situation

58:54

is already stressful and hard, people

58:57

aren't looking to be like, oh, well,

59:00

maybe it's a misunderstanding.

59:02

Maybe when I think

59:04

most of our problems

59:05

were misunderstandings. Howard Bauchner: Yeah, I mean, that

59:07

happens a lot too specifically

59:09

with, you know, a

59:12

lot of my Korean friends who've married

59:14

girls who don't speak Korean. Right? Or

59:16

girls who married guys who don't speak

59:18

Korean. Mhmm. whether they're Korean

59:20

or not. It doesn't matter. Like, the the ethnicity

59:22

doesn't matter. The language matters. Right?

59:24

So one of the biggest things my mom always asked me was just

59:26

like, You don't have to marry a grand person. They just need to know how to speak grand so I could

59:28

talk to them. That's nice. You know? Mhmm. because

59:30

for her, the the culture lies within

59:33

the language. the culture stuff can be taught

59:35

through language and everything else. Mhmm.

59:37

So with with her, the hard part

59:39

is just like so my brother,

59:41

when he had his girlfriend was

59:44

white. Right? Mhmm. She couldn't speak

59:46

Korean. Well, their relationship

59:48

ends at are you hungry? Are you tired?

59:50

or how are you? Yeah. That's it. That's it. As much you

59:52

try to pantomime stuff or

59:54

do whatever, you there's so

59:57

many things you'll never ever get to know about our

59:59

family

59:59

or our culture the way I was raised, who my

1:00:02

mom is, who my dad is because

1:00:04

the language isn't there. Yes. And that's the hard

1:00:06

part for people to understand. Right? And I think more

1:00:08

or less for a lot of, like, first

1:00:10

gen or generations, you know, like, parents

1:00:12

who want their kids to marry within a

1:00:14

long line to do with, like,

1:00:16

being able to communicate

1:00:16

some things that sometimes aren't really set. Right.

1:00:19

You know, and the only way you can do

1:00:21

that is having a conversation and they

1:00:23

can't have that with their, you know, future daughter or son in laws. Yes. That's

1:00:25

the hardest part about it all. Yeah. So, like,

1:00:27

even for, you know, my

1:00:29

friends too were I

1:00:32

have a friend who didn't get along with his parents and I never understood why. They're like, you

1:00:34

know, my dad is so fucking boring. Like, I was

1:00:36

like, no. Actually, he's really, really funny. You just don't

1:00:38

speak Korean. Uh-huh. You know? You

1:00:41

don't get the jokes. You don't get the jokes. Like and

1:00:43

because he doesn't understand the or the language, he

1:00:45

doesn't understand the nuance, and he doesn't know when his

1:00:48

dad's joking. Right. Which was really hard for him and, like, his dad was saying

1:00:50

something. He would get pissed because he's only

1:00:52

interpreting it for the face value. The

1:00:54

nuance. That's what this being is the

1:00:56

nuance. Like,

1:00:56

for me, it's like

1:00:58

there when your

1:00:59

cultures are so different and you don't

1:01:01

speak the language, it's like you're not only

1:01:03

just accounting for what's said, you're accounting for what's

1:01:05

not said. Mhmm. You're accounting for body language. Mhmm. You know what I

1:01:07

mean? And it's like, I didn't know anything

1:01:09

about any of it. Yeah. Yeah. And my

1:01:11

experience

1:01:11

with

1:01:12

Korean culture having you know,

1:01:15

Korean exchange students come and stay with us. It was like,

1:01:17

I understood them in

1:01:18

the context of them trying to

1:01:22

fit

1:01:22

in -- Oh. -- on my horse. Like, I was explaining to him

1:01:24

because III was talking to his mom

1:01:26

and dad, and I got to know

1:01:29

a lot about them. And they like talking to me just because I

1:01:31

speak Korean. Uh-huh. So we're going back and forth joking or

1:01:33

whatever. And I was like, oh, this cool. Like, your dad was

1:01:35

like a pretty high up in, like, the Korean

1:01:37

military. He goes, oh, he wasn't. I'm like, you're so dumb, bro. You

1:01:39

know nothing about your parents. You're so dumb. I was like, you

1:01:41

don't know shit about your dad, man. Yeah. He goes, he

1:01:44

never told me. I was like, he can't tell, you don't speak

1:01:46

Korean, you

1:01:48

dummy. You know? I was

1:01:49

like, but how was he so tell me how was he

1:01:52

raised? Not speaking Korean

1:01:53

in his house. I

1:01:56

mean, he could understand. He can understand, but

1:01:58

he doesn't understand, like, Nuance. Right? So it's,

1:02:00

like, very simple. Wow. If both of his

1:02:02

parents don't really talk to the kids like that. Most of

1:02:04

the time, Right. Except for my parents. I'm I talk to my mom every day. That's nice. But

1:02:06

once again, I speak the language. But I didn't

1:02:08

speak the language as well as I do now -- Mhmm. --

1:02:10

back in the day. That's why we didn't have

1:02:12

a relationship. I took it upon

1:02:14

myself to go learn language for so I could

1:02:16

speak to her. So now we get along

1:02:18

really fucking well. I was like, oh, my mom is actually

1:02:20

really funny. you know, she's not as much as a bitch as I thought she was. She's just not gonna lie. She

1:02:22

just doesn't say sorry. She just doesn't say sorry. No.

1:02:24

She's a bitch. It's a little scary. That's why she

1:02:26

didn't say sorry. But she's

1:02:28

a goofy a funny, funny lady. She has

1:02:30

a lot of wisdom and a lot of things that she wants

1:02:32

to add into a conversation, but I just

1:02:34

didn't understand anything. Yeah.

1:02:36

And so for him, the sad thing is,

1:02:38

it's like, you don't know anything about your parents. I

1:02:40

know. That's sad. And you just I have to

1:02:42

be there, not the translate forms sometimes. It's

1:02:45

like, for example, like, say, like, Korean people are very

1:02:47

harsh with their words. Like, the descriptor, sometimes depending on what

1:02:49

area you're from. His accent hear that.

1:02:51

I got that black. Yeah. Oh,

1:02:53

yeah. They they like, a Korean compliment

1:02:55

is like, oh,

1:02:59

your face is so

1:03:01

small. Well, how's it a compliment? I guess, like, the biggest compliment you could

1:03:03

I know I started to really appreciate it over

1:03:06

time. So I was like, good. Oh, okay. I

1:03:08

get it. Yeah. But, like, they would say

1:03:10

things like they'll just

1:03:12

come into his room and it's like, oh,

1:03:14

like, oh, god, your room is so messy. Right? And

1:03:16

he would take it, like, so seriously. I was

1:03:18

like, dog, it's not that serious. This is just them just talking.

1:03:20

Like, every Korean parent does that. They just make

1:03:23

a side comment. Like, you're taking it too literal.

1:03:25

Like, they're shitting on your hygiene. Your

1:03:27

mom doesn't fucking give a fuck. Mhmm. Alright? She's

1:03:29

just saying it. Mhmm. And then because she would always tell me he's

1:03:31

like, why are you so sensitive?

1:03:34

I'm like, this is so annoying. He's an American boy. Yeah. He's like

1:03:36

an American boy. He doesn't understand this type

1:03:38

of stuff. And, you know, it's also because he never tried to

1:03:40

get to know his parents. And then now they're a lot better.

1:03:42

Uh-huh. Right?

1:03:44

Because after just, like, me just me and a bunch of our friends being, like, dude, you

1:03:46

don't you you're you're misinterpreting everything.

1:03:48

Yeah. You know? Mhmm. And now their parent

1:03:50

now they had, like, their whole long talk,

1:03:53

that speaks like broken English, but they've gotten a

1:03:55

little better. He's trying to learn Korean now. But now

1:03:57

he's, like, not taking everything so seriously. Yeah.

1:03:59

Oh, this

1:03:59

is just How they How they are. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, that

1:04:02

language barrier is is is really hard and

1:04:04

I've been -- yard. -- I've been watching this

1:04:06

this Korean documentary series on YouTube where

1:04:08

they just

1:04:10

It's a bunch of foreign couples that are together and they walk around the document.

1:04:12

Uh-huh. And it's so fascinating. It's like one of

1:04:14

my favorite things to watch. It'll be like this girl,

1:04:17

who met this guy like in Chicago,

1:04:20

and they

1:04:20

fell in love with each other while he was

1:04:22

attending university as a foreign student there.

1:04:24

and then he moved with her to Korea, and then she's like an

1:04:26

animation artist. And then she's crying because it's so hard for her to navigate in

1:04:28

creep. She

1:04:29

can speak the language. Mhmm. She

1:04:31

can speak creep. decently. Mhmm. But

1:04:33

she doesn't have the confidence. And so -- Uh-huh. --

1:04:35

in the job, like, I could speak casually to

1:04:38

somebody in Korean. Right? But in terms

1:04:40

of a formal sense, because I never spoke formal Korean, I don't know how to do it. I'll

1:04:42

just come off as a disrespectful fuck. Right. You know?

1:04:44

And that's a big deal. Exactly. I don't wanna

1:04:48

be that. Exactly. So, like, I'm talking there's,

1:04:50

like, your regular conversations is, like, tuned in my and I

1:04:52

don't know how to speak tuned in my very well. Right?

1:04:54

So I remember when I was with my lady and

1:04:56

I was talking

1:04:58

to, like, some of her relatives. She's cracking

1:05:00

up. She goes, why? I was like, you talk to people. Like,

1:05:02

you're a fucking dog. I'm like,

1:05:04

oh, I don't know how else to speak. That's how my

1:05:06

mom talks. like, you're

1:05:08

stuck. Yeah. She goes, like, you you

1:05:10

you you don't understand, like, the hierarchy in the

1:05:12

language. I was like, no. You're a hundred percent right. I don't I

1:05:14

I only know how to speak to Korean that I was taught with

1:05:16

my mom. and my mom's a piece of shit. So I speak like a piece of

1:05:18

shit. So she goes like, no. Your

1:05:20

Korean's

1:05:20

great. It's just like very

1:05:22

inappropriate. that's so funny. Yeah. And

1:05:24

I had no idea, but that language part is

1:05:26

so important. Like, just having that part

1:05:28

of your culture is like, I I'm

1:05:30

always gonna go for Right? Yeah. I love diversity, but I

1:05:32

also like the reason why things why

1:05:35

diversity is celebrated is because, you know, your culture.

1:05:37

Yeah. So when people always say this thing like, oh,

1:05:39

I don't really see colors. Like, I

1:05:41

I think everybody should be mixed. A hundred percent, I believe, in,

1:05:43

like, diversity in that type of sense. But I don't think you

1:05:45

you have to throw away where you're from just to be a

1:05:48

part of a group. Right. And you can

1:05:50

see color Yeah.

1:05:50

Not in the negative light. Right. Right.

1:05:52

You could see it and then appreciate it. Yes. Exactly.

1:05:54

That's the thing that people don't understand. They go,

1:05:56

I don't see colors. Like, yes, you fucking

1:05:58

do. because you

1:06:00

are a hundred percent I see color all the time, but the

1:06:02

difference between me and you is I I celebrate it.

1:06:04

Yeah. You know, I celebrate that language. I I

1:06:06

celebrate what they do and how they are.

1:06:09

Yeah. And that's the fun part of things. Right? Yeah. That's why

1:06:11

we like traveling in shit. Yeah. I still can't believe you

1:06:13

live in Korea. That's nice to me.

1:06:14

Yeah. And I'll do it again.

1:06:16

Have you have you ever had, like, any bad dating situations like in Korea? because I know,

1:06:18

like, culturally, it's just so different. No. I didn't

1:06:20

have

1:06:20

any bad dating situations. Everyone

1:06:23

was so nice. Yeah.

1:06:24

Like everyone was so nice. They're so polite. That's, like, one of

1:06:27

the things I appreciate most about

1:06:29

Korea is

1:06:30

that, like, what first, I

1:06:33

really perceived as like coldness that

1:06:34

I really didn't like. I

1:06:35

realized it was not coldness at all.

1:06:37

It was like respect. It

1:06:40

was like the opposite. It was, like, respect and it was, like, formality

1:06:42

to it. But everybody

1:06:44

is polite. Like

1:06:45

and it

1:06:46

like you said, like, they're considerate

1:06:50

of what other people are

1:06:52

perceiving. Mhmm. And at first,

1:06:54

I was like, everyone is cold. Yeah.

1:06:56

Oh, no. Everyone is just being

1:06:59

respectful -- Mhmm. -- of each other. And then I really love that. When I came back

1:07:01

here, I was like, ugh. It's

1:07:03

so rad. It's

1:07:05

personal space is a big thing. Dude, I I told this funny story on

1:07:08

the podcast a while back, but there was a

1:07:10

a friend of mine who started doing online dating.

1:07:12

Mhmm. And it was his

1:07:14

Korean guy. she's Taiwanese.

1:07:16

She's a little girl. She meets up

1:07:18

this dude. She's I've been going through her dating profiles

1:07:20

stuff. Right? And some of these guys are

1:07:22

fucking losers. Like, I could not believe, like, the shit

1:07:24

that they would say, like, on, like, these

1:07:26

Tinder dating apps, what's on their profile?

1:07:29

Like, they're buying see. Yeah. It's like, I understand

1:07:31

why you're single. Like, dude, you are so bad at this. You're

1:07:34

so bad at selling yourself. Yeah. And so,

1:07:36

she meets

1:07:38

this dude. And, you know, she's like, okay, where do you wanna meet? She goes, well, he I

1:07:40

wanna meet at Porto's. I haven't had Porto's in a

1:07:42

while. I'm like, well, that's the first, terrible, first dates.

1:07:46

It's, like, the most busiest fucking place ever. There's nowhere to

1:07:48

sit. No. Already. And she she was do you

1:07:50

see what I'm saying? And I'm, like, convincing you, like, give him a

1:07:52

chance. Whatever. Just try it out. Yeah. She

1:07:54

goes there. She goes is that portals.

1:07:56

Right? He she messages like, hey, I'm here. Where are

1:07:59

you? He goes, I'm somewhere inside. Come

1:08:01

find me. Let

1:08:02

i'm me strike two. For

1:08:04

sure. Like, fuck. I'm leaving.

1:08:06

Yeah. I don't have time. So she's like,

1:08:08

okay. Whatever. They get coffee together. They

1:08:11

sit down. Right? And I said, you fucking not. This is

1:08:13

like during corona. Oh. Two cups of coffee. He goes, oh, what

1:08:15

are you drinking? She goes, oh, I

1:08:18

got this drink. goes up, grab the drink,

1:08:19

puts his fucking mouth on it. I die. I'm

1:08:22

done. He puts his fucking mouth on

1:08:24

it, drinks it, and puts it,

1:08:26

actually pops it, and then she goes, Did just drink out my drink? He

1:08:28

goes, oh. But did she say it with that face? Or did

1:08:30

she, like, play it off? Or she's, like, did you

1:08:33

just drink out of my drink? don't know she said it, but she was like, did you drink

1:08:35

out of my drink? And then she said that, oh, he goes, oh, he

1:08:38

goes, oh, like, you know, I'm Korean. I was like, hold

1:08:40

on, so I gotta stop. So That

1:08:42

is not a Korean thing. Don't you fucking

1:08:44

dare? That

1:08:45

is not a Korean thing. That's not a Korean thing. You come up and grab your coffee and

1:08:47

drink and drink out of it. You fight Yeah. --

1:08:50

idiot. Like, the audacity.

1:08:53

And he was like, he put it on the culture. I

1:08:56

was like, no. No. No. No. No. No. That's not a Korean. He that's what he

1:08:58

said. I'll go fuck what he says. That's not a Korean thing. Korean people respect each

1:09:00

other's personal

1:09:02

space a lot. Yes. Like, it's a very important part of us. You

1:09:05

don't just come up to a stranger and go, like,

1:09:07

hey, this is there. Wow. You know? And then

1:09:09

No. You do not. He puts it back

1:09:11

and she goes, Yeah. Like, you just drink

1:09:13

at a lunch and he goes, oh, I'm sorry. He goes up. And she goes, oh, he's gonna get me a

1:09:15

drink. Yeah. He comes back

1:09:17

with

1:09:19

the new straw. Seriously. Gets hurt. That's so funny.

1:09:21

No. I thought for sure he would

1:09:23

go and get I'm sorry,

1:09:25

get a

1:09:26

new drink. Yeah. His kids were at the

1:09:28

store. She kinda cuts the date super early and he

1:09:30

goes, hey, I had a good time. Like, do

1:09:33

you wanna see each other again? She goes,

1:09:35

no. No. She says, no. Thank you. No. Thank you. It was great meeting you and she

1:09:37

leaves. And a couple of days What time I am? Yeah.

1:09:39

What time I am? You're okay.

1:09:41

Thank you. And if

1:09:44

she leaves, It's a

1:09:46

message. And he goes, hey, I talked to a couple friends of mine and -- Mhmm. -- I think what I did was really inappropriate.

1:09:49

It's like,

1:09:52

a lot. You needed to talk to a

1:09:54

company. You needed to consult. because, I guess, in his mind, he thought the date went great. Yeah. He's like, why doesn't

1:09:56

you wanna And I'm pretty sure he

1:09:57

told the same story, but they were like, you

1:09:59

did what? You

1:10:03

fucking put

1:10:03

your filthy fucking Corona mouth on

1:10:05

her drink and then just got her

1:10:08

a straw. He's like, how Korean.

1:10:10

They're like, no. No. We're Korean too. You don't fucking do that. The most craziest thing ever,

1:10:13

dude. Then

1:10:16

somebody called. like, I don't

1:10:18

I've never got to do online dating, so I never It's neither. Oh, you've never done it? You say get to.

1:10:20

I never got

1:10:23

to do that. Like, I

1:10:25

kinda wanted to know what it's like. I don't. You know what's okay.

1:10:27

I don't know. it's because I'm scared. I'm

1:10:31

scared

1:10:31

of everybody. Like, I I

1:10:34

assume all strangers are gonna What was your last day? kid not and kill

1:10:36

me. I

1:10:39

loved dates. Okay.

1:10:40

last

1:10:41

date, probably recently. Maybe weeks, maybe three weeks

1:10:43

ago, maybe So is it

1:10:44

are you just dating for fun right now

1:10:47

and this thing was up? Or Yeah.

1:10:51

I'm

1:10:51

always dating for fun. So

1:10:52

Davey's fucking excited.

1:10:54

just fun. Oh, look at

1:10:57

it. Oh, shit. oh, you're going in

1:10:59

different directions there. Like, here's the thing too. Like, I

1:11:01

love flirting. Like, flirting and stuff is all great. Right?

1:11:03

But then, like, the the whole dating

1:11:05

aspect sometimes gets really tired for me. because it's like I get

1:11:07

it because you're a guy. Well, yeah. I think it's probably harder.

1:11:09

Of course. because I'm trying to get the whole

1:11:12

time. it. You have to and

1:11:13

I love that. I love it. I don't think

1:11:15

I don't do anything. Ashley,

1:11:17

you're a pretty awesome mommy, pop girl. Alright? So you

1:11:19

have a lot of dress? Yeah. But, like,

1:11:22

go have some fun. So

1:11:25

-- Okay. -- love it. What's

1:11:27

what's what's one of the worst dating stories that you've ever had? Well, there was one know, honestly, I I've

1:11:29

been pretty lucky in

1:11:31

love. I will say. or

1:11:34

dating.

1:11:35

Maybe not love, but I'm lucky

1:11:37

in dating. But there was

1:11:38

one guy in New York who

1:11:41

wanted to

1:11:42

play guess my weight, Wait,

1:11:44

I didn't ask for that game to be played. Don't fuck her.

1:11:46

He was like, how much do you think I weigh? I was like, I

1:11:48

don't know. He was like, how tall

1:11:50

you think

1:11:51

I am? I'm like, I

1:11:53

don't know. And I'm really bad at that. I'm

1:11:55

notoriously, like, don't know. don't know. I don't know how old somebody

1:11:58

is. I don't know how much a

1:12:00

way. I

1:12:02

don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

1:12:04

Yeah. I don't know. So wait.

1:12:06

Why

1:12:06

would he ask that? I don't

1:12:08

know. What was the what was his

1:12:10

conversation supposed to

1:12:11

go? I don't know. I didn't know where it was

1:12:13

going, but I said, I don't know. And then he goes, okay. Let me guess yours. I was like, oh,

1:12:15

did you just say that

1:12:15

so you could guess mine? because he wants to know

1:12:17

how much you weigh. Yeah. And then he

1:12:19

goes 521

1:12:21

seventy? I was like, no. Are you a

1:12:23

power lift pig? Do you lift tractors

1:12:25

for a living? Were you

1:12:27

talking about

1:12:28

five to

1:12:31

a hundred and seventy pounds. Five two My

1:12:33

buddy is terrible. Five two is, like, down

1:12:35

the Yeah. Five two?

1:12:38

Yeah.

1:12:38

This guy's terrible. He was terrible. I don't

1:12:39

remember. I don't I don't even know what. Back then, I

1:12:41

think I was less scared of strangers than I

1:12:43

am now. Like now, in order

1:12:45

to date, you have to

1:12:47

be accounted for. Like,

1:12:48

you know what I mean? Like, I have to know

1:12:50

you through somebody has there has to Do we ever have a connection stuff? Yes. I'm not we're

1:12:53

not doing just

1:12:56

the random No.

1:12:56

You might who knows? You could kill me. Oh, you said

1:12:58

you're super scared of that shit. Yeah. I'm

1:12:59

gonna die. What about if you just be up

1:13:01

in a public space? I don't

1:13:04

trust it.

1:13:04

i trust I don't

1:13:06

trust it. People do stuff you don't even think of. Like me. Like like say, it's the fucking the

1:13:08

Americana.

1:13:12

like, in broad daylight at a cafe outside the hotel.

1:13:14

They put some in your drink, put their arm

1:13:15

around you, slide you out of there. How about

1:13:17

you just fold your drink

1:13:19

close to you? Listen,

1:13:22

I'm

1:13:22

not going to have to, you know, I'm

1:13:23

not gonna have to hold my drink close to me. I'm gonna go on

1:13:25

a date and it's gonna be fine. You think I'm not

1:13:27

gonna be worrying about my

1:13:29

That

1:13:31

is But you know what happens. Right? You know, like, stuff like this happens more

1:13:33

to people that you know than people you don't know.

1:13:35

Like, statistically, like,

1:13:38

women who get actually assault -- Yeah. -- attacks are from all people

1:13:40

that they know. Yes. You

1:13:43

are right about that.

1:13:45

That's very funny. You hit the cuss

1:13:47

reman thinking, hug. It's

1:13:48

like I lost you. have a danger

1:13:50

every time. I've been, like, so careful and

1:13:52

I'm actually

1:13:53

putting myself in more danger.

1:13:55

But you know what? I'm

1:13:56

also a really good judge. Real good.

1:13:58

Real good. Then you

1:13:58

should be fine going out on these days.

1:14:00

But I

1:14:01

don't want to.

1:14:03

I don't want to.

1:14:04

and while I wanna

1:14:06

go I wanna

1:14:07

go out

1:14:08

with someone who's accounted for. But

1:14:10

those are the worst ones.

1:14:12

They're the fucking worst ones. Listen.

1:14:14

not, they don't

1:14:15

have to just be accounted for. They have

1:14:17

to pass my eye test.

1:14:19

Okay. And that, it's a

1:14:21

strict test. Yeah. But -- Straight. -- I

1:14:23

can see them up in a in a public space and

1:14:25

look at their face, sit down and be like,

1:14:27

feel scary. And then walk away. Yeah. I could. But, you

1:14:29

know, and I'm also too too nice for that. So

1:14:31

that's the problem too. You watch them danger. You watch them in danger. You

1:14:33

watch them in danger. You watch them in your drink,

1:14:35

and they'll be like, no, that's Alcatel. So

1:14:37

I swear to God it is. And

1:14:40

I'm like, Oh

1:14:40

my god. take a step.

1:14:41

No. Yeah. I don't need to be in that position because, like, I do get to a point where it's

1:14:43

like, I don't wanna be mean. So it's

1:14:45

like, I try to

1:14:47

I try to I try

1:14:49

to I limit my I limit my contact with the outside

1:14:51

world. Highly. Like, I'm

1:14:53

really limited.

1:14:54

I'm really, like,

1:14:57

Like, it's I'm

1:14:58

here. We're we're here. Are you

1:14:59

an introvert then? because

1:15:02

you seem more

1:15:04

extroverted. I

1:15:05

don't even know. I feel like I don't know. It's like I'll take talk where they're like,

1:15:07

as an empath.

1:15:07

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1:15:10

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't freakin'

1:15:12

know. I like

1:15:14

to stay I like to stay home most of the time, but I also like a really fun date.

1:15:17

the time

1:15:18

they are like a really fun day

1:15:20

the I like to

1:15:21

write all day by myself, and I like to dance all night, and then

1:15:23

I like to go on a dance all night a

1:15:26

day for

1:15:27

my dinner. Are you are you That's

1:15:30

that's how it's wrong. This sounds like I have a day every single night in order to eat dinner. That's all I mean. I haven't

1:15:32

I haven't paid for a

1:15:34

meal in fucking ten years. I

1:15:37

mean, that's my window of dating. It's like, I I

1:15:38

don't it can't interfere with my schedule already, but, like, there's the window of, like, okay, I need

1:15:41

to eat so we could do that. No. I'm curious. Like, what

1:15:43

what is it? What

1:15:43

is it? that

1:15:47

you look for in in a partner? Democrat.

1:15:49

Okay. That's

1:15:51

one. For sure. vegetarian?

1:15:55

vegetarian.

1:15:55

vegetarian. Or vegan?

1:15:56

Or vegan. Either one

1:15:59

will do. It has to

1:16:01

be vegetarian or vegan. I'm just

1:16:03

not yeah. I'm just not into watching meat, going into

1:16:05

somebody's mouth, and then I'm trying to kiss

1:16:07

me with her mouth. That

1:16:08

is the most monographic thing I've

1:16:11

ever had in my life. slightly turned

1:16:13

on. Let's keep it going. Alright. Here we go. I mean,

1:16:15

I've data people eat meat. Obviously,

1:16:17

the guy can

1:16:19

create meat. of course. This is more recent it's like, you know, just

1:16:21

the the more I lean into, you

1:16:23

know, my dietary thing. It's just like you

1:16:25

said, it makes more sense. Like, I'm on

1:16:27

a little vegan restaurant. So it

1:16:29

works when a guy wants to also go to a a vegan restaurant. So when you see

1:16:31

somebody cut into a steak, that just makes you sick. Yeah.

1:16:34

I don't like it. Holy shit. It's

1:16:36

not for me. Did you do fucking like Ayahuasca or some shit to

1:16:38

make you feel this way? because I always say this because I know

1:16:40

two people who did like shrooms and they became fucking busy. Sorry.

1:16:42

I don't even know where time that looks. Like,

1:16:46

it's like Alex. No. Why? I've never touched a drug. I've never

1:16:47

drank. I've never done

1:16:50

anything. You never fucking

1:16:52

drank. You

1:16:55

were gonna You didn't

1:16:55

agree. I'm gonna say that's another reason they didn't

1:16:58

trust me. too. That's what they

1:17:00

said. You were gonna there's no fucking

1:17:02

way you could do business without drinking in

1:17:04

Korea. Yeah. I

1:17:05

know that's what

1:17:06

they said repeatedly. Oh my god. I guess that's why I'm back. That's crazy. So

1:17:09

you've never drank

1:17:12

alcohol ever. wow. I almost

1:17:14

feel like I had to. So I I drink when I started my first drink was on the fourteen or thirteen. Thirteen

1:17:16

or fourteen or some shit like that. With

1:17:18

your parents? No. Hell no. That was my

1:17:20

cousin. We

1:17:23

had a we had

1:17:23

a we had this Evian bottle and we filled it up with Remy

1:17:25

Martin and that we just drank that whole bottle. And

1:17:27

I woke up in a steward the next day.

1:17:30

I didn't know what the fuck was I

1:17:32

just it

1:17:32

never sounded good to me. Like, right now,

1:17:34

that didn't sound good. Terrible. So I don't know why. What's the why? Well, I don't

1:17:36

want to. I mean, it's different for people.

1:17:38

Right? So, like,

1:17:39

I like the taste of

1:17:42

beer. Mhmm. Like, but I don't like the

1:17:44

taste of excessive beer. So, like, beer, like,

1:17:46

if I have a beer, it's great. Once it

1:17:48

goes to the second one, it tastes weird to me. I don't

1:17:50

know why. But that first beer always good. Mhmm. So

1:17:52

and people like being drunk because it makes them feel loose. That's

1:17:54

the biggest tip. So that's the thing they're like, oh, how come

1:17:56

you don't like smoking if you don't

1:17:59

if you like

1:17:59

drinking? Difference. When I

1:18:02

smoke, I don't feel like myself. I feel like I can't control the things that I'm saying. I can't I'm

1:18:04

like everything is

1:18:07

legit. I hate it. I

1:18:10

hate it so much, but if

1:18:13

I'm drinking, I may

1:18:14

be, like,

1:18:15

but I don't know it.

1:18:17

So

1:18:18

I I'm confident it's fuck. Yeah. So it's such a different fucking thing. I'm not saying if you don't like you should drink off,

1:18:20

you should. Like, if there's no point. I

1:18:22

don't drink that much. I'm a social drinker.

1:18:26

like, if you go to my house, the only time that there's alcohol

1:18:28

is next to the podcast station because that's the

1:18:31

only time I drink. But in my fridge

1:18:33

itself, there's no beers, there's no nothing.

1:18:35

I see. I don't if I'm at

1:18:37

home, I don't crack open a beer. Yeah. Right. I do it with them with somebody. Right. It's like

1:18:39

it's, you know, it's based off a comedian type of thing. Yeah. But then,

1:18:41

you never drink or anything. So

1:18:44

so wait. vegetarian

1:18:46

vegan

1:18:46

is a bonus. Democrat is a must. What else? Yeah. I like how you said that. Bonus must for

1:18:49

sure.

1:18:53

really,

1:18:53

I just like you have to be nice. Like, that's really all I care

1:18:55

about. I like someone who's like really nice. Like, I I don't like someone

1:18:57

who's mean at all. I don't like

1:19:00

someone who I

1:19:03

don't need to change anybody. I don't need to be your mom. I I have none

1:19:05

of that. I don't wanna do any of it, please. I

1:19:07

do not. What

1:19:07

do you wanna tell you

1:19:09

what to do? nice.

1:19:10

Just someone who

1:19:12

is so kind, who just does

1:19:14

for others, you know, and cares for

1:19:16

others. I just I love that.

1:19:19

You just gotta be caring and kind

1:19:21

and like such a good person. I just

1:19:23

like to know that you're a good

1:19:25

person. Like, I watch how you treat

1:19:27

people you're rude and you're not -- Mhmm.

1:19:29

--

1:19:29

you know, I don't like it. So you,

1:19:32

like, walk it down the street. This

1:19:33

guy, like, walks his grandma across the street and

1:19:35

falls, and you're, like, fucking

1:19:38

horny

1:19:38

right now. Do you mind? I know you're gonna say it. Are the guys like, what do what's

1:19:43

wrong with you? We do.

1:19:45

We stare at that man just like, keep walking that old ass lady across the street to see what

1:19:47

happens, dude. That's fucking

1:19:50

fucking funny. So you,

1:19:52

like, people who

1:19:54

are really kind -- Yeah. -- democrat and why Democrat? Why is that so important to you?

1:19:56

I don't want anyone who

1:19:59

doesn't hold

1:19:59

my general

1:20:02

a manual. That's great. I wanna say general

1:20:04

-- Yeah. -- and genuine

1:20:06

to my genuine. My general,

1:20:08

like, what sense

1:20:10

of right and I

1:20:12

can't

1:20:12

be with someone who doesn't share that sense of right and

1:20:14

wrong. Yeah. I could see that. I'll fuck with

1:20:15

gay people, but I'll

1:20:17

still fuck with somebody who

1:20:20

he's cheekfully. You know what I mean? because one of the Chick fil A thing happened

1:20:22

and I was eating a Chick fil A, they're like, did you hear what they said?

1:20:24

I was like, I know this sandwich

1:20:26

is delicious. And I love gay people.

1:20:29

And also that person next to me? Also, okay. Even

1:20:31

the chick A So Take one. I'm Yeah. what you mean.

1:20:34

I I just like maybe

1:20:37

this is because I'm I'm okay with, like, differing opinions a lot with even the people that

1:20:39

I'm with -- Mhmm. -- because it creates, like, good conversation and

1:20:41

you kind of, like, learn a little bit more

1:20:44

about your self

1:20:47

when you do disagree. Mhmm. So if I if I have an echo chamber, I'm

1:20:49

not learning anything. So, like, for example, I used to

1:20:51

date this girl who she

1:20:54

was

1:20:54

so scared of losing me. So she

1:20:56

wanted to be this perfect girl. Like, this perfect girl for

1:20:58

even though I'm in shambles. So if I said something, she I agree

1:21:00

with you. If I said something, I got

1:21:02

I'm like, hold on a second. I

1:21:05

remember I had this conversation with her. And this is one of

1:21:07

the big series of white dumplings. It was because I was like, we know we've been together for months now,

1:21:09

and I don't

1:21:12

know you. And then she's like, why? I was like, because

1:21:14

everything you say, you agree with. She goes, I was like, and I genuinely don't think you agree with

1:21:16

this stuff. I was like, you are so scared

1:21:18

to be yourself because you're afraid that I'm gonna

1:21:22

you. If if you and I butt heads, then she

1:21:24

goes, I just wanna be a good girlfriend. I'm like,

1:21:26

that's not being a good girlfriend. Right? You are

1:21:28

not I don't own you. You are your

1:21:30

individual self. You and I might clash. We might argue. And we

1:21:32

might fight or bicker or whatever whatnot, but we're supposed

1:21:34

to get over that and then learn how

1:21:37

to communicate with each other effectively. But as of

1:21:39

right now, sometimes I things of I know that I'm wrong. Mhmm. But then you agree

1:21:41

with me, and I hate that you agree with me. Right? You

1:21:43

know what I mean? because I had to step back. And then

1:21:45

when I realized like, oh shit, that was kind of disrespectful. Why

1:21:47

did I say Yeah.

1:21:50

And I apologize to you and then you go, no,

1:21:52

I was wrong. It makes me feel

1:21:53

like I'm, like, snuffing out your light. Like, I hate that shit. Yeah.

1:21:55

Yeah. So I was, like, so. we

1:21:58

broke up. And I was like, listen, you need to go find yourself.

1:22:00

Like, because you clearly are

1:22:03

you identify yourself with how happy I

1:22:05

am. When your happiness should be based on

1:22:07

what you think you believe. Yeah. So, like,

1:22:09

for me to have people who are hyper agreeable around me, it's not something that I

1:22:11

really enjoy. Mhmm. I like people who are civil and

1:22:14

can have conversations. Yeah. because

1:22:17

most of my friends we disagree on

1:22:19

a lot of shit. Yeah. You know? I don't mind disagreeing on things like,

1:22:20

for green on

1:22:21

being like

1:22:23

you know you know, over

1:22:24

easier scrambled. Yeah.

1:22:25

Right? BTS. BTS. BTS. Yeah. B Bang. Don't

1:22:27

know. Yeah. But yeah. It's

1:22:29

just for me. It's

1:22:31

just it's core about values.

1:22:34

It's like core values have to line up. If they

1:22:36

don't, it's just different for me and I can't.

1:22:38

But, yeah, III like to debate

1:22:41

too, so I'm always down for like a good

1:22:43

Alright. Would you,

1:22:43

like, scrambled or floating? I'm a vegan. Yeah. Oh,

1:22:46

that's like, you Just

1:22:48

egg. Oh, are you

1:22:50

do you Are you no

1:22:51

eggs or anything? Yeah. I'm not right. Yeah. Like, I Or

1:22:53

will you switch to every now? vegetarian for, like,

1:22:55

a long time, and then

1:22:57

I go through, like, I've been like, vegan on and off. Like, in Korea, I

1:22:59

was vegan for a minute, and it was, like, impossible. Like --

1:23:02

Yeah. It's hard. -- especially with a

1:23:03

big picture. It's fucking fish sauce. Srini and

1:23:05

soy sauce. Yeah. I was, like, okay.

1:23:07

Like,

1:23:07

they would also you didn't even understand vegan,

1:23:10

so they would just

1:23:10

bring me those hard boiled eggs. Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, and they're like, you

1:23:14

know,

1:23:14

I'm like, oh, And then I didn't even want to tell them, like, oh, it's you know, I

1:23:16

felt like they thought they were going to be good. Like,

1:23:18

they got for everybody else, like, food.

1:23:20

outbreak And then for me, they

1:23:22

would bring me these eggs. And I'm like, they think they did a good job. Yeah. Yeah. They don't wanna,

1:23:24

like, you know He's being polite. Yeah. So then, like, I

1:23:26

would try to, like, tell him, like, oh, yeah. Like,

1:23:29

in the future, you know, But anyway, so it ended

1:23:31

up that, like, you know, it's

1:23:31

eating a lot of those eggs. So, you know, I

1:23:33

wasn't vegan anymore. But yeah. Right now, so I

1:23:36

went -- Yeah. --

1:23:37

I went back. And then you did So

1:23:39

but you'll will you eat eggs every now then if you have

1:23:41

to? I mean, when I was

1:23:42

like, when I was vegetarian and

1:23:44

not vegan, like, yeah, eggs were

1:23:47

fine. I don't like to be honest

1:23:48

with you, but that's my favorite

1:23:50

thing. I like that. Let me tell you what, though. I like the steamed eggs in Korea.

1:23:52

Oh, like, Keransim. Yeah. Oh

1:23:54

my gosh.

1:23:55

Like those were great. for

1:23:57

me, it's just like sometimes eggs always just tasted too egg y.

1:23:59

Like, I sometimes just call it like a

1:23:59

little weird taste

1:24:02

where it's like See,

1:24:05

that makes sense. Like, when I talk to

1:24:07

somebody like you, it makes more sense for me. Like -- Mhmm. -- some of my friends who are

1:24:09

who are vegan vegetarian, these

1:24:12

bitches lasted two

1:24:14

months a month. And I was like, they're like, I couldn't do it. I was like, I know you couldn't do it because you were doing this on weird

1:24:17

moral high

1:24:20

ground. Like, my vegetarian friends who

1:24:22

stay vegetarian is because they just didn't they don't like the taste. They don't like I like the taste of meat. Oh, do Yes.

1:24:24

Damn. So it's like a moral thing for you. For

1:24:26

sure. Damn. All my friends who did the moral shit,

1:24:31

fucking failed after two months. Yeah. No. Now they're just now they're just

1:24:33

more conscious about where they get their with

1:24:35

their protein and stuff, which I was

1:24:37

like, this is probably the easier route

1:24:39

for you. Right? And also too, like, in Korean food,

1:24:41