0:01

Hi, Carol,

0:11

She's queen. She's

0:16

getting afraid, so

0:19

just let it flu. No one can

0:21

do with Carol.

0:26

Carol. Well, I am just

0:28

thrilled to be here with Tory DeVito. How

0:30

are you? I'm wonderful. How are

0:32

you? Lovely? Is

0:34

it Chili where you are? Are you in Michigan? I

0:37

am it is? I am in Michigan. I

0:39

was actually just in Nashville. Hi,

0:42

Maria in Nashville. Well, I'm

0:44

considering moving

0:46

to Nashville eventually. Stop. Yes,

0:50

what is making you want to pull the trigger? So many

0:52

people are coming here? I know. Well,

0:55

I'm done with the coasts. I've done

0:57

those, I've done Chicago now, and I'm

0:59

looking for my next city life. Michigan

1:02

is great, but my farm is very

1:04

remote and I'm not ready to be you

1:07

know, ninety yet. So and

1:10

Nashville is a seven hour drive from

1:12

Michigan, so it's like I could drive back and

1:14

forth when I want to. It just seemed perfect.

1:16

Okay, So you actually live the farm

1:19

dream, because my husband and I have this

1:21

farm dream and we've had it forever, and so I

1:23

want to actually talk to you about the farm dream

1:25

where it is like you get the amazing

1:28

farm you have the awesome,

1:30

cozy little house and you live in

1:32

the middle of nature and you're disconnected

1:35

and it's amazing. Is it as amazing as

1:37

it sounds? Or are you ready to see people?

1:40

No, it is. I mean I've

1:42

never spent more than like two three weeks

1:44

at a time here, so this will is

1:47

coming up going to be like my longer stint,

1:49

so I'll let you know after. But I am

1:51

somebody who like, when I need to recharge,

1:55

I can't do it with other people around. I have to

1:58

recharge myself. So the farm, I'm

2:00

so perfect. I wake up so happy and

2:02

like every time I like pull up to my driveway

2:04

there's like deer in the yard

2:07

or I just like I love it

2:09

so much. I really do. I

2:12

bet that's so true because you

2:14

have been on TV basically as long

2:16

as your like adult brain has been

2:18

functioning. Like you started when you're like fifteen,

2:21

right or thirteen? Yeah, well

2:23

I started a fifteen, But like I always say,

2:25

like really really like consistently

2:28

like eighteen, and

2:30

you like grew up going to have

2:32

Thanksgiving with Billy Joel. How your

2:35

life has just been you from

2:37

the start have been with all

2:39

of the people that we put on pedestals,

2:41

like, that's just your life, that's where you start.

2:44

So what is life like to you? Is anything

2:46

possible? Has it always been possible

2:48

because you grew up seeing a life

2:50

of no limitations? Oh that's

2:52

so interesting. Um I never really

2:54

thought of it that way. I

2:57

think maybe. I mean

2:59

definitely in the arts world. It's funny because

3:01

I feel like when you grow wrapped up around

3:03

so much art and music and

3:06

all that kind of stuff, Um,

3:08

it just kind of felt like the natural thing,

3:11

you know. I grew up playing violin, and then I got

3:13

into acting and like and

3:15

then but I remember being

3:17

like twenty two or twenty

3:19

three when they started sending me out on like cop

3:22

roles or doctor roles, and

3:24

I remember like laughing. I was like, I'm

3:26

like, you know, twenty five or whatever. I was like twenty

3:28

six, not old enough to play these roles,

3:30

and people like you actually are. So

3:33

I feel like there's like a maturity and

3:35

you know, like you said, like anything is

3:37

possible. But when it came to like real

3:40

world stuff, I was like med school and

3:42

oh my god, it came even fat like those

3:44

things. I can't even fathom because I don't know

3:46

anybody in my family and my in

3:49

my life who have actually achieved those So

3:51

to me, I put those people on pedestals, you

3:53

know what I mean. I'm like, Wow, how did you do that?

3:57

So fascinating? So who are your parents

3:59

that led this wildlife that you started

4:01

off in this world? So my

4:04

dad is Liberty de Vito. He

4:06

played drums with Billy Joel for thirty years.

4:08

Oh wow, and what a name, Liberty

4:11

de Vito. You're destined for greatness with that

4:14

name, right, the dope name. Um.

4:17

Yeah, he was a drummer. He's

4:19

played with the tons of people, but the

4:22

bulk of his career was with Billy. They met when

4:24

they were like twenty and on

4:26

Long Island and um, so

4:28

they started, you know together from a

4:30

very young age. And then my mom,

4:33

Um, she met Stevie Nicks when she was in her

4:35

twenties and they've been best friends ever

4:38

since. And that's actually how my parents met

4:40

um one summer when Billy

4:43

was not on tour. My dad

4:45

played drums for Stevie on her solo tour

4:47

and so that's how my parents met

4:51

Um and Stevie and my mom are still really

4:53

really close, And Billy and my dad

4:55

did have a falling out, but they since

4:57

rekindled and started speaking again,

5:00

which is so lovely. You know, hey, listen,

5:02

being in a band. I'm married to a musician. He

5:04

has been in a band since he's been thirteen

5:06

with the same guys, and I was thirty and mid thirties.

5:09

Um, and they get along great. But like you, I

5:11

was in a band for seven years. It is

5:14

Oh yeah, it is so hard not to

5:16

have moments where you're like, I

5:18

need so much space from you because I

5:21

literally have been not just doing life with

5:23

you, but like obsessively doing life with you

5:25

because you never get a break. You

5:27

never get a break never, so man

5:30

sence you hear about that all the time. Yeah,

5:32

but I'm glad they're back on the op and up. Yeah.

5:35

What is Stevie Nicks like? Because I freaking

5:37

just think she's one of the most magical,

5:40

amazing, like just creative

5:42

souls that our earth has.

5:44

She's so creative. She embodies

5:47

every piece of her art.

5:49

Do you know what I mean? Like she do you feel that

5:51

reads it? It's her mother,

5:54

father, sister, child, best

5:56

friend like that. She It's funny

5:58

because there's some people like like I took this

6:01

um acting class from this guy

6:03

Larry Moss, who you know coach coaches

6:05

like Hillary Swank and voice don't cry like

6:08

Leonardo DiCaprio all the time, and he's amazing.

6:10

And he's one of those people too that I was watching

6:12

and I was like, oh my god, you

6:15

are acting and like

6:17

like my father, like everything for

6:19

him is music, like he is drums,

6:22

and Stevie is music

6:24

and art and all

6:26

her mysticism. But

6:29

and so I think that it's funny because you say,

6:31

like the sky's the limit, and I did grow

6:33

up believing that. But there was also a part of

6:35

me that saw these people, like

6:38

growing up with my dad, where it was like this

6:41

is who he is. And I

6:43

love acting, I love music, I

6:45

love the arts, but I also love

6:48

being in solitude and I love being in nature, and

6:50

I love so many other things.

6:52

And so I think I was always intimidated growing up

6:54

thinking like, but I'm not just

6:57

the thing that I love, Like I was so envious

6:59

of Like I would look at them and be like, how do you do

7:01

that? Like I'm not all

7:04

you know that, um, but

7:06

you have you have a lot

7:08

a few more loves like they have more

7:11

love. You have a few more in the same way,

7:13

Like, I am envious of people. I always say

7:15

this, people who figure out what they love at a young

7:17

age and like zero in on it and

7:19

focus in on it. I've always been

7:21

so kind of envious of those people because it's

7:23

like you just know where you're pouring yourself

7:25

into. Yeah, And I think my dad

7:28

like saw me dabbling in so many

7:30

things and he was like, my one advice for you is like, don't

7:32

be a jack all trades. Pick something and get great

7:34

at it. And I think that that's amazing

7:36

advice. But what I'm realizing

7:39

for me now, like I have made a career

7:41

that I'm proud of, but I actually don't

7:44

think that worked for me, do you know what I mean? Like,

7:46

I don't. I think I am a jack

7:48

of all trades, and I think that it's okay

7:50

to lean into that. I mean, I would love

7:52

if I was as passionate about one

7:54

thing as they are and that I see because I think it's

7:57

the most beautiful thing. Um, it's

7:59

like having a long you know, when you see

8:01

that old couple that has that seventy

8:03

five year relationship, You're like, oh my god,

8:05

what is that like? Um,

8:08

But that's just not that's just not what

8:10

my life, you know, that's not what my soul

8:12

connected to, you know, Isn't

8:15

it kind of awesome when you get to the age where

8:17

you know what you like and like, you

8:19

know, because I feel like I'm just getting here. I'm

8:21

thirty nine, and I'm like, I'm

8:23

just now starting to really be able

8:26

to let my to know what I like

8:28

and what I don't. It's taken so long

8:30

to like for me to sift through

8:32

everything, and I had to get out there and

8:35

taste and try everything

8:37

that I was curious about just to see if

8:40

it was gonna stick. Did you feel that way?

8:42

Yeah, definitely. Um. And

8:44

and it's funny, I'm thirty eight, so we're like

8:46

the same age and it's the same thing.

8:48

Like I'm finally getting to a place where it's

8:50

like, no, that doesn't serve me,

8:53

Like, no, I'm not into that. No. Yeah,

8:55

yes, that's a big yes for me, you

8:57

know what I mean. And it just makes you go

9:00

through life with such an easier vibe,

9:02

you know than when you were younger. I

9:05

used to be so scared to say no to something

9:07

that felt like an opportunity because I

9:09

was like, well, what if this never comes back around? And

9:11

what if I really love it and I've never tried it, but

9:14

now it's like if it's not like a hell yes

9:16

or a hell no. I have like a few

9:19

things that have come up lately where I don't have a

9:21

clear reading like one way or the other. It's

9:23

like such an amazing thing that's happening,

9:26

but I might not not dying to go, and I'm

9:28

like, what what is it? You know, what are you doing here

9:30

in that situation when you know kind of

9:32

what a hell yes and no is, but there's you're floating

9:34

in between. How do you stift through that? Yeah?

9:37

So it's so funny. Um. I worked with this amazing,

9:39

amazing energy healer named Jana Raptors

9:42

and she taught me and it's such a simple technique.

9:45

I'd like literally when I'm like being in decisive

9:47

like that and I'm like, I could I couldn't?

9:50

You sit down and you like, um,

9:52

close your eyes and you imagine

9:55

what like a hell yes is, right, like

9:58

if it's like puppies or whatever

10:00

it is, and you feel what that feels like in your body,

10:02

and then you imagine what your hell no is

10:05

whatever that is, and so you

10:07

know your body knows and then you imagine

10:09

yourself, whether it's an event you're thinking about,

10:12

you imagine yourself getting in the car and going

10:14

and being at the event and being with all the friends,

10:16

and you might know immediately like oh okay, I can

10:18

feel that's a note, and then you imagine you haven't

10:21

yet. Then you imagine yourself staying at home and not

10:23

going and missing out on it, and your body

10:25

ends up telling you. So sometimes

10:27

I feel like our minds and our brains

10:30

get in the way, and sometimes our body

10:32

knows more than we do and

10:34

we just have to like sink into it. But I

10:36

love that exercise works for me, like without

10:39

fail every time. Really, even if you're kind

10:41

of like totally split in the middle. That's

10:43

that's the only time I use it is when I'm split in

10:45

the middle, because then I like actually like go

10:48

underneath my brain and go into that meditative

10:50

state and go into my body and like and actually

10:53

feel the yes know and feel like what

10:55

it's like to do both options, and

10:57

like I feel like then I can I like

11:00

baud of it and I'm like okay, it's no or like yep,

11:02

I'm going That is such a

11:04

good exercise. Yeah, it's

11:06

so hard and I feel like, do you struggle of that or

11:09

not struggle? But is that something that you bump into

11:11

a lot in your field? Is you have opportunities

11:13

come up and they are like especially maybe like roles

11:15

come up or things to do

11:18

that could really like be a life changer, and you don't

11:20

really know because you don't know how something's

11:22

gonna do, how series or show is going to do

11:24

until it's out there in the world. So is

11:26

that like pressure to know what

11:28

to pick? Are you so into now with your

11:30

gut that like it? You can do it from the soul

11:32

space? Um? It's funny because

11:34

I feel like as an actor, unless you're like

11:37

you know, Brad Pitt or Meryl Streep

11:39

or somebody like, you don't really

11:43

pick per se, do you know what I mean? Because

11:45

you just kind of like grow so much out

11:47

there and see what sticks. Um.

11:50

Now, I do feel like people are writing and creating

11:52

and producing their own content much more,

11:54

which is great. But as

11:56

far as the stuff that I've done so far, I've

11:59

just literally additioned for everything

12:01

and whatever I've gotten, I've done, you

12:03

know what I mean? Like, I mean, if you say there are

12:06

some projects that I've gotten or gotten offered

12:08

that I've turned down. Um,

12:11

but I haven't been able to like handpick

12:14

the actual stuff I've done. I just feel

12:16

like I've been really fortunate and liked, you

12:18

know, most of the most of the stuff I've

12:20

done. Um. But yeah, there's the opportunities

12:22

that come up all the time that I get nervous about. I have one

12:25

this week, and actually they asked me to be on. Um,

12:28

I don't know if you allowed to say this. When is this coming out?

12:31

Probably in like three weeks. Okay,

12:33

I think it's okay. I'm gonna be on Celebrity

12:35

Jeopardy And that is like so

12:38

silly. I've been so

12:40

stressed about it because I'm like, oh my god,

12:42

if I just stay silent out of nerves,

12:44

I'm gonna look ridiculous. If

12:47

I say things that are ridiculous, I'm gonna

12:49

look like a dumbass. I'm like, oh my god, What'll I

12:51

do? What am I doing to myself? Am I going to become

12:53

a bad meme? Like? Oh, should

12:55

I just say screw it and do it? So

12:58

That's where I'm at. But yes, it's it's hard

13:00

to make those decisions all the time. Oh

13:02

my god. Okay, So I went on Celebrity

13:04

Family Feud with my friend Kelly Pickler. Do

13:07

you know Kelly Pickler? Okay,

13:10

So she had a reality show for a while and I was on her

13:12

show with her, and so she was

13:14

asked to be on it and she brought me along with as

13:16

one of her contestants. And I

13:18

said the most embarrassing answer you could ever say,

13:21

which if you're worried about

13:23

your greatest fear, well, I lived your greatest fear.

13:27

Look through it. Yeah, living

13:29

embodiment of getting through

13:31

that. It was it was something

13:33

about sexual positions or something.

13:37

I'm not kidding you, and they

13:39

were saying, like, I

13:41

don't even know what it was, but basically

13:44

I said something about you can do it from

13:46

behind or talking about like or something,

13:49

and it was I think it was the wrong answer

13:51

as well, and so it was just

13:53

like so humilitying. That was like I had, like, you

13:55

know, two questions or what and that

13:57

was it. That's how I like made my debut and

14:00

left it on the table. I wanted

14:02

to die for about two weeks. It's awful,

14:04

I'm sure, but then it's funny, I

14:07

mean exactly, And that's what

14:09

I have to remind myself people want to be entertained, right.

14:11

I'm sure everybody watching love that moment,

14:13

you know, so you've got to laugh along with them.

14:16

And do you kind of feel like you're

14:19

you've put yourself out there and put yourself out there

14:21

and put yourself out there? I mean, you are constantly

14:23

like putting yourself in the

14:25

world, which I commend you for because

14:28

you know, when you're an actor or an artist, your

14:30

brand is yourself and so it

14:32

is so much more personal and it's so

14:34

much more intimate. And yes,

14:37

you are like the product

14:39

or whatever that is doing this job, but

14:41

you are still a human being.

14:44

And so when you put yourself out there

14:46

over and over again, is it hard

14:48

to deal with a criticism or do you get

14:50

to a point where you just know how

14:53

to like get above it because they're

14:56

they're talking about you like they would about a

14:58

shampoo product or something. They feel they that right

15:00

too, because you're putting yourself out there. Do

15:02

is that right? I do feel that? Like? No,

15:05

definitely, I feel like sometimes,

15:08

um, I feel like sometimes

15:10

I even come across a little like, um,

15:13

I'm not guarded is not the word

15:15

A little reserved or like just kind

15:17

of quiet when I first meet people too, because

15:19

I think I am so conditioned to being

15:21

treated like as a shampoo product

15:24

or as like an animal, you

15:26

know what I mean, at the zoo or something that

15:28

you never really know what people's intentions aren't

15:31

um. And I think that that's that makes

15:33

me sad sometimes because I

15:35

do recognize that when I meet a new group

15:38

of people, or if somebody comes up

15:40

to me, my immediate reaction is to kind of like sess

15:42

out the situation and kind of get quiet, which

15:44

I think could come off as you know, not warm

15:46

and open, which I know I am in my heart.

15:49

But um so, yeah,

15:51

that does get hard, and the criticism

15:53

never it

15:56

does get easier, and it doesn't, you know what

15:58

I mean. I feel like it's really hard

16:00

when people just throw stuff out there and

16:03

you want to be like, first of all, you have

16:05

no idea who I am, what I am,

16:07

what I do every day, who I've dated,

16:10

any of those things you think you do. Also,

16:12

I'm a real person, you know what

16:14

I mean. And I just feel fortunate

16:16

because I look at other um

16:19

people online or whatever that

16:21

just get it so much worse. And I'm like, oh,

16:24

and I just think that people forget you

16:26

know, when they're sitting behind their screens and all that stuff,

16:29

that these are real people you're talking about

16:31

or you're critiquing. And art is so

16:33

subjective. So even if you

16:35

you know, didn't like someone's performance, or you

16:37

can't a lot of people can't differentiate between

16:39

your character who you are in real life. And

16:42

it's like, you know what I mean that, you

16:44

know, I can laugh at that a lot

16:46

more now, but sometimes I'll see things and

16:48

I'll be like, ouch, that hurt.

16:51

I know, the viciousness, that's the

16:53

thing. It's like just yeah, I

16:55

know, Well how do you do it? Like, so,

16:58

when you have a moment when you feel down or

17:00

you feel like you're in a moment of like you're

17:02

just you know, just everything is not feeling good.

17:04

It's not maybe you've had some bad people

17:07

are coming at you, or maybe you had a project that

17:09

didn't go like you wanted it to or something like what do you

17:11

do when you're in those moments of disappointment? How

17:13

do you get yourself out of them?

17:15

Um? I kind of sit with it

17:18

for a moment um

17:20

and then I luckily I have a really good support

17:23

team that I know, the certain

17:25

people in my life I have, You know, one

17:27

of my best friends is an actor, and

17:29

she and I've known each other since we were twelve

17:31

years old. He named Ariel

17:33

Keble, and she, you

17:36

know, is really successful and

17:38

I know that she and I have gone through

17:40

so many ups and downs that are very similar,

17:42

and talking to her is always really helpful

17:44

talking to somebody who um

17:47

has been in your situation before and

17:50

it's like, yeah, I know exactly how that feels,

17:52

because then it kind of takes you out of it and it's like,

17:54

this is just part of it, this is what everybody

17:56

goes through. It's not really so much personal

17:59

to me. And it's so helpful if you have

18:01

those objective people that can go like just because

18:03

you didn't get that part, it probably had nothing to do with

18:05

you, or maybe they wanted a blonde, maybe

18:07

they wanted you know what I mean, like who knows

18:10

um. And then also like luckily,

18:12

I have my dad who has gone through a lot of rejection

18:15

in his career, and he has this one

18:18

fan i mean anti fan

18:20

letter that he'll read

18:22

to remind me sometimes of this guy

18:25

just for two pages wrote

18:27

all the reasons he hates my

18:30

dad and wishes he was not living

18:33

anymore, and I have it. Sorry,

18:36

I just lost you this um

18:39

and so he'll read that to me

18:41

sometimes or send it to me to remind me, Like

18:44

everybody goes through this and then we can

18:46

like to hate it. And

18:50

it was the most I'm

18:52

I'm sorry. It

18:54

was the most vicious, horrible

18:58

thing I've ever read. Luckily we

19:00

can all laugh at it together because it

19:02

was so absurd, you know what I mean. But so

19:05

it's just nice to remind yourselves that,

19:08

you know, people's perspectives

19:10

of you or just

19:12

people starts never

19:14

ever ever have anything to do

19:17

with you, right, So true, unch

19:19

somebody in the face, their reaction

19:21

is still on them, how they feel about me

19:24

is still on them, no matter. That is so

19:26

true, and we can't figure it out. Like I

19:28

think about this all the time because I have

19:30

now realized that thirty nine

19:32

years old, how complex my brain is.

19:34

How I sift. We all sift through like

19:37

our childhood wounds, through

19:39

our experiences that have happened to us through

19:41

like are the way we're wired, you know, just all

19:43

these things were sifting through to

19:46

get the reality that we feel as

19:48

our reality. So every person is having

19:50

a totally different experience, even

19:53

if you're in the same experience with them, Like you

19:55

said, so why do we even

19:58

try to figure it out

20:00

and just try to get everyone to think the same. There's

20:02

no way we all are in our own matrix.

20:05

There's no way. I mean, if you think about it too,

20:07

every thought that we have is

20:11

composed from you know, thirty

20:13

eight years of the stuff that I've gone through,

20:16

Right, I think what I think about a certain

20:18

person or a certain reaction or whatever,

20:21

and so how is my How

20:23

could somebody take my thirty eight years of experience

20:26

that they know nothing about personally? That's on

20:28

me right, Yes, so

20:33

you're super intimental. Health it really fast.

20:35

I just wanted for everyone who doesn't know what

20:37

amazing shows Tory has been on. You've been like

20:39

on Chicago, med Onetree Hill, Vampire

20:42

Diaries, plus like a thousand more. You

20:44

were in that movie. I still know what you did last summer.

20:46

I can't. Oh my god, like Cult Classic. That

20:49

was my first movie. Oh my

20:52

was that I was twenty one?

20:54

It was amazing. Um, I

20:56

loved the cast. It was my first movie

20:58

and I thought it was like so cool. We're in Park City,

21:00

Utah, and I remember I had to be in like a

21:02

tank top. The whole time, and it was like cold, and

21:04

I was like, I don't care. I'll stay up all

21:07

night, I'll freeze to death, Like doesn't

21:09

matter. I'm making a movie. And like nowadays

21:11

i'd be like, um, where's my warm up coat, where's

21:14

the heaters? I'm freezing? But

21:16

it was such a blast. Oh my god, I loved

21:19

it. I got to play a punk rock singer, which

21:21

was so Isn't

21:24

that so awesome though, to have that

21:26

moment of just complete just

21:29

excitement about something like being

21:31

in a real movie, like a huge

21:33

and actually now a cult classic movie like you've

21:36

been in some cult classics One Tree Hill, like Vampire

21:38

Diaries, you kind of hit their culte classics streak um.

21:41

But it's like when you have that

21:44

moment what it described, that moment

21:46

when like you actually for the first time

21:49

are living your dream,

21:51

Like that is a big deal, you know, to

21:53

actually realize a big dream.

21:56

That's like what does it feel like too? Like you've had

21:58

this dream, had this dream, had this dream, work towards it,

22:00

got it, and now what's on the what's

22:03

when you got it? And on the other side of having

22:05

the dream come true? It's so funny because I feel

22:07

like when you're in it, you don't even realize that

22:09

you you got it right because you just

22:11

keep moving like one job to the next, one

22:13

job to the next. Um. And

22:15

I think that actually a really big

22:18

moment for me happened recently.

22:21

I was at a diner,

22:24

no like yeah, like a restaurant diner

22:26

in New York with my dad, and the

22:28

waitress was like, Hey, I just wanted to say,

22:30

like, I'm an actor and I really

22:32

want to have like your career, like

22:35

you work consistently, you could still go out,

22:37

You've done this, you've done that. And the way

22:40

she said it to me, and this is not like

22:42

ego related at all, it made

22:44

me step back and go like, oh

22:46

wow, I can take a moment and be proud

22:48

of myself for a second, like I did achieve

22:51

something that I sought out to do,

22:53

like, because I feel like sometimes we get

22:55

so lost, especially in these careers where

22:57

it's like Okay, what's next, what's next? What next,

23:00

that we're afraid to sit back after

23:03

a job and go, okay, let me take

23:05

review and actually sit in this for a moment

23:07

and be grateful for this and take

23:10

it in instead, it's like, oh my god, Okay, I'm

23:12

off this job. Now what am I gonna find that next?

23:14

What? Oh my god, I can't sit still for too

23:16

long. So um, that was a

23:18

really cool moment. And so I think I have

23:20

to remind myself. And yeah, I don't know why

23:23

I hit these, like, you

23:25

know, doing One Tree Hill and Vampire

23:27

Diaries and I did Pretty Little Liars for something, yeah pretty

23:30

Little. I feel like I got

23:32

a cult classic am bit. I

23:35

was like, why did I hit like the scene

23:38

Jack pot Um. So

23:40

I do feel grateful, and I actually almost didn't

23:42

do Pretty Little Liars. A funny story

23:44

because my first series ever

23:46

was on ABC Family and I had

23:48

done One Tree Hill in the c W and I felt

23:50

like everything I had done was so

23:53

team driven, which is great, but I

23:55

would remember being like, okay, like I want to have a woman

23:58

now. Yeah, I was like, I want to do some adult

24:00

content. I have some like adult

24:02

viewers. And so when they called me and they're

24:04

like, they offered you this role on Pretty

24:07

Little Liars and it's gonna be an ABC Family,

24:09

and I was like, I don't want

24:11

to do it. You guys, like I don't want to go

24:13

back on ABC Family, Like I want to move forward

24:16

and they're like, isn't that crazy? That like

24:18

what you dream of for so long?

24:20

Like you what do they say? You're living the life

24:22

you prayed for. And then you get to the point where're like, okay, I'm

24:24

so ready to elevate. Yeah,

24:27

and they're like, I'm telling you. I remember my agent

24:29

was like, I really think you should do this. I think it's

24:31

gonna be something special. And I was like, but

24:34

it's I don't know. I just I have

24:36

anxiety about it. And I remember after

24:38

accepting it, I felt a little sad. I was

24:40

like, I feel like I didn't move

24:42

forward. I'm not like I'm letting myself

24:44

down. And then I was like, oh my god,

24:47

you moron, Like if you wouldn't have taken

24:49

this, like this is such a huge part of

24:51

your career and like it did level

24:54

you up to a different place.

24:56

And I was like, oh my god, I can't believe

24:58

I almost a note of this. What

25:01

is it like being in an ensemble? Because I

25:03

always think that would be so fun, you know,

25:05

Like the original look for me is like Sex in the City

25:07

and Pretty Little Liars. It's kind of

25:09

that same like vibe, like you got the friends,

25:11

it's all about girlfriends and like living this big,

25:14

live, big city life. Like, what is

25:16

it like being and you've been on a lot of ensembles,

25:18

Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill,

25:20

that's also kind of me, so

25:24

yeah, like a team player, what is it like being

25:26

on these on a cast, like an ensemble cast,

25:29

it's you know, just being completely

25:31

candid. It's equally fun and

25:33

equal parts not so fun sometimes

25:35

because and everybody always says, because I was talking

25:38

to somebody and I was like, you know, the life of an actor

25:40

can be very lonely. You're very transient.

25:42

You're always by yourself. You know, it's

25:44

not like you're traveling with a band whatever. You're

25:47

doing things on your own. And they're like, but what about

25:49

like these ensemble shows. It's like there's

25:51

so many people. And I'm like, yeah, I've always been really

25:54

really like super super

25:56

lucky that I've gotten along with like so

25:58

many of my co stars. I was like, but if you

26:00

look at like actors on an ensemble,

26:03

sure, maybe it looks like it might be

26:05

like a band, but it's a band where everyone wants

26:07

to be the lead singer. Nobody

26:10

wants to do anything else but be the lead singer

26:12

and so it it sometimes

26:14

creates conflict. You know, you have a lot

26:16

of big personalities in

26:19

one space every day all

26:21

the time. Everybody's got their own individual

26:23

publicists, so they're doing their own individual

26:26

press, and everybody's like, well what are you doing?

26:28

What's the oh wow? Like

26:30

comparing like yeah, yeah,

26:33

I've never really played that game fortunately,

26:35

or like you know, I feel like, how can you

26:37

compare yourself to the next person, Like

26:39

even if you were in their body, you

26:42

would take different steps no matter what

26:44

if you look like them. But I've

26:46

seen a lot of little

26:48

feudsinger tips

26:51

and um manipulations.

26:53

But luckily, like I said, I've always

26:55

like I've always found certain friends

26:58

to latch onto at in every project that

27:00

I've done, um that I'm still friends with today.

27:02

So I've always felt pretty lucky. But yeah,

27:05

it's ensemble gasts are

27:07

definitely all the dynamics,

27:09

all the dynamics. What is

27:11

it like when someone becomes the breakout

27:14

star? Like how does that go down? Because

27:16

now, like you said, everyone wants to be the lead singer, so

27:18

but someone always inevitably becomes the

27:20

breakouts the way, so everyone trying

27:23

to get it in the beginning, I think, so,

27:25

yeah, whether people want to admit it or not.

27:27

I think you know what I mean, Like, how can you

27:29

not really if we're being honest

27:31

here, Like you always want

27:34

your You get into this job

27:36

because you know, it's like you

27:38

want to rise to the top, right, Like that's what you

27:40

got into it for. And so um

27:43

yeah, I mean there's a lot of support and love

27:46

and everything, but then you do see those people that

27:48

struggle with not if they didn't become

27:50

you know, you can always you can always see it. You

27:52

can see it before it happens to most

27:55

of the time, you know what I mean. So

27:57

so when someone becomes the breakout star though, and

28:00

everyone was kind of wanting to be that, is there

28:03

the people the way they act change

28:05

or do they or is everyone a good enough professional actor

28:08

that they can like act through their

28:10

real feelings. I feel like it depends

28:12

on the cast, right, I feel like sometimes I've

28:14

seen yes and sometimes I've seen no. It

28:17

depends on the cast. And also when you get these

28:19

team shows. I think what's so difficult about

28:21

these team shows is like they go from

28:23

zero to like uber famous

28:26

really fast. A lot of stuff

28:28

thrown in their face like

28:30

it's it's it's mayhem.

28:33

Um, it's like the Beatle also normally

28:35

very young, do you know what I mean?

28:37

And I think that that makes it more difficult if you take

28:39

a show like Chicago Med. It was

28:42

composed of a bunch of group of adults

28:44

that have been acting for a really long time,

28:46

that love acting for the sake of acting, that don't

28:49

really care you know what,

28:51

you know what's I mean do care, but like don't

28:53

really care about that stuff anymore. And like

28:56

it's not like how you felt about I still know you did

28:58

last summer. It's like a totally different

29:00

feelings. Yes, yes, but your

29:02

but your ratio to how you feel when you started

29:04

on that show to where you were in chicagom so

29:07

different ends of the spectrum totally.

29:10

Um. And so I think that these teen shows are

29:12

hard because you take a bunch of young

29:14

people and you start pitting them against

29:16

each other and start blowing them

29:18

up and making giving them fame and money, and

29:20

sometimes it doesn't turn

29:22

out so well. But how can it? Some of them

29:25

their prefrontal lobes aren't even developed

29:27

yet, you know what I mean? Yes, Team

29:30

fame is crazy. I mean, it's so

29:32

it's such a double edge stored because

29:35

on one hand, it's so exciting. You get

29:37

this life of just like access

29:40

and all the cool stuff, But what is

29:42

actually behind the veil? You have seen

29:45

behind the veil on all levels across

29:47

the board, Like what is behind the veil with

29:50

like what people will consider fame and

29:52

just the pinnacle of success.

29:55

I think what people don't see

29:58

is the work that goes into it. I

30:00

think people don't see the exhaustion that

30:02

goes into it. That sometimes like if somebody

30:05

meets someone and they're like, oh, I met this person

30:07

and they were so rude. I never listened

30:09

to that stuff because I'm like, you have no idea

30:12

the amount out maybe lack of hours

30:14

of sleep they were on that

30:16

they're guarded because maybe they've been taking advantage

30:19

of now, Like you don't know what

30:21

these people are going through. And I think that it's

30:23

like people want to be like, oh, want, want, want,

30:25

because you know, these people are rich and famous

30:28

and there's a lot

30:30

behind the scenes that is you

30:32

feel so you can feel very alienated

30:34

too, you know what I mean, Like, especially

30:37

when you're working all the time as an

30:39

actor. I always say when young actors come up to

30:41

me and they're like what some advice you'd give me. I'm like,

30:43

well, I don't know, but I

30:45

would say, only get into this job

30:47

if you're willing to be the one

30:50

person that can't show up at the wedding, the one person

30:52

that can't go to your best friend's birthday party, the one

30:54

person that maybe can't show up for holidays.

30:56

Like that's gonna be your life. You're

30:59

not gonna be a to be there for people

31:01

the way you want to if you want to have

31:03

the career that you want. You know, you work long,

31:06

long hours, a lot of night shoots, a lot

31:08

of this, and that you're getting flown to different

31:11

places all the time. You're never in the same place.

31:13

You know. You don't just move to l A and stay in l

31:15

A. You moved to l A to leave l A because

31:17

of all the jobs you want to have and um,

31:20

and so you know, I think that's

31:23

what's behind the veil that I think people don't really

31:25

understand. It's like how much

31:27

sacrifice and work goes into it. Have

31:30

your reasons for pursuing

31:33

these loves changed over the years. Definitely?

31:37

Um. I feel like when

31:40

I started getting into I

31:42

had a really hard time on one tree hill. I felt

31:44

like um

31:47

for you know, obviously the me Too movement

31:50

called out you know what happened on One Tree Hill

31:52

a lot um and it was kind

31:54

of like a bit to me. For

31:56

me, it was a bit of a dark set. It

31:58

had a lot of dark enter gee floating

32:00

around it, and I remember getting like really really

32:02

depressed, really and I did find

32:05

really great Like I worked with Joy Lens

32:07

and she was so lovely to

32:09

me and I was so grateful

32:12

that I worked with her, and James Lafferty was really great

32:14

with me too, and like those are the people I worked

32:16

with most so as far as the actors go, Like I got

32:18

to really work with some great people. But there

32:20

was just a really really stressful vibe

32:23

on set. And I remember I was like five,

32:27

and I was like, there's got I have to give myself

32:29

another purpose. Like I love acting, but

32:31

this industry is going to I'm

32:33

going to sink. And you figure

32:36

that out fast. So it's kind of

32:38

a blessing. Yeah, it was a huge

32:40

blessing because I was I was like, all right, this

32:42

is the kind of show that I've been striving

32:45

for and now I'm on it and I'm

32:47

so miserable. So

32:49

I was like I got a volunteer do something, and that's when

32:51

we found like hospice work actually and it gave

32:54

me this like greater purpose and

32:57

I just loved it so much. And then I started

32:59

realizing in like, Okay, I can

33:01

use this industry for the good it

33:03

has. I can you know, not engage

33:06

in the bad act and

33:08

love acting and then use the industry

33:10

for good. And I started realizing like the

33:14

higher my career got, the more I

33:16

had a platform to speak for the things that I actually

33:18

love. So then it made all

33:21

the things that drove me crazy about this career

33:23

more tolerable because you got is like your purpose

33:25

because that had a bigger purpose with it. And

33:28

I don't know how you get through this career

33:30

without having a bigger purpose with it, because

33:32

to me, it just becomes very like so

33:36

ego driven because you're just like in

33:38

this warp of your own like stuff

33:41

all the time. You know what I mean. You got to step

33:44

outside of it, and you're right. I

33:46

feel like you either kind of go one of two ways

33:48

with like big success and you can see

33:50

it play out all the time. It's like you either become

33:53

someone who use it like you're doing uses

33:55

their platform to spread awareness

33:57

and change the world for better or it

33:59

you kind go down the spiral of just like feeding

34:01

that self indulgence that you

34:03

can and it eventually is gonna it's

34:06

gonna not be able to sustain

34:08

anymore, you know absolutely.

34:11

Oh that's so interesting, isn't

34:13

it interesting? Like life? What do

34:15

you think of life now that like this is like what

34:17

it is? What do you what are your views on it? Because you've

34:19

really gotten into mental health and you really

34:22

are such an advocate for so many

34:24

things. I'd love to talk about some of the things

34:26

that you are passionate about because it's

34:28

like that's your your purpose is

34:31

what you are an advocate for. And how

34:33

did that start happening? When okay, yeah, one Tree

34:35

Hill you started realizing I need to like get outside

34:38

myself. When did you really get into like mental

34:40

health? Um?

34:42

I think probably like probably

34:46

like my mid delate

34:48

twenties. Um I

34:50

was just life is so weird, right,

34:52

Like no matter what you believe or

34:55

what faith you have or lack of

34:58

whatever, like nobody can actually

35:00

safe for certain what we're doing here,

35:02

do you know what I mean? And and so sometimes

35:06

like I just tried, like I always try

35:08

to remind myself as cheesy as it

35:10

is, like that old saying like you can

35:12

turn a prison into a palace or a palace

35:14

into a prison, And I feel like it's

35:16

so true. Like every time I'm

35:18

having a bad experience, I

35:20

always remind myself like I am

35:22

the one driving this experience for myself.

35:25

So if I'm miserable right now, what

35:28

experience can I what perspective

35:30

shift can I have to change this experience?

35:32

And life is so weird,

35:35

but yeah, throwing myself

35:37

into the things that I'm passionate about,

35:39

the advocacy. Advocacy work is really

35:41

important to me because I feel like if we're not

35:44

giving back, if we're not helping other

35:46

people, or even

35:49

if we're not reaching out to other people

35:51

to help us, then what really is the

35:53

point of being here? You know what I mean? I

35:55

do. I totally know what you mean, And

35:58

you have to figure out a way for me. It's

36:00

been like, especially this past couple

36:02

of years, I've just been so on

36:04

a hunt for my purpose and I've been all

36:07

over it. Like I know I've been all over it,

36:09

but I've had like a million different career

36:11

things. I've done so many amazing things,

36:14

and like you in a different way. I have totally

36:16

seen behind the veil, Like I know what's

36:18

out there, I know what it is, I know

36:21

the struggles and like the responsibility

36:23

it is to hold the

36:25

status and to put yourself out there. And so

36:28

I just I'm like, what are we doing

36:31

here? You know? And like, what are

36:33

the gifts that I have that I can

36:35

serve others with that also fulfills me?

36:37

And I feel like at the end of the day, that's like what I

36:39

kind of like work on every

36:41

day. It's like, what am I what I feel like I'm good

36:43

at and talented at that actually can fulfill

36:46

my soul, but then really

36:49

serve others. And I feel like that's how I

36:51

kind of move now. Yeah,

36:55

you have to and sometimes to, Like I feel like when

36:57

you're having a bad day or if you're stuck

37:00

in something, the best thing to do

37:02

is put your attention on something else or put

37:04

your attension on someone else you need

37:06

to you more than you know

37:08

than what you're going through. And it's like that's

37:11

the best way to get over

37:13

something. I think, right, what grounds

37:15

you? Oh my

37:18

gosh, um, I feel like nature

37:20

grounds me a lot, solitude

37:22

grounds me a lot. Um

37:24

my family, being around certain

37:27

family members, grounds, boundaries,

37:30

boundaries are also important. Yeah,

37:33

um yeah, those things

37:35

ground me a lot. You're

37:40

so lovely with how you take

37:42

care of things. You are a care of her, you

37:44

take care of hospice, You care

37:46

so much about women's rights, you care so

37:49

much about animal cruelty.

37:51

You are just such a caring person.

37:54

Is that just a huge part of your personality and nurturing

37:56

spirit? Um? I

37:59

guess I mean if

38:01

yeah, yeah, so yeah. I

38:04

have sisters, and I grew up in a really like,

38:06

you know, loving family. We're all really

38:08

close, so it's probably

38:10

a product of that. What's the secret to a

38:12

loving family being

38:15

okay with people's flaws? Because,

38:18

oh my god, families can be challenging,

38:21

you know what I mean, they can be challenging. Um,

38:25

But I find that if you look at you,

38:27

sometimes we don't look at our family as other people, right,

38:29

we look at them as like her dad,

38:31

sister, brother, you know, And

38:33

it's like, no, you're a person, You're a flawed

38:36

and I need to have space for that. Even

38:38

though you know, being around

38:40

my mother, she's my best

38:43

friend, she's my everything, and she

38:45

can also trigger me more than on this

38:47

planet and she knows it. Um,

38:50

that's true love. So that's true

38:52

love. And because we're so close, and so

38:55

I have to remind myself, even at thirty eight

38:57

years old, I have to be like Tori, stop acting like

38:59

you're five, and stop being a little brat. Your mom

39:01

is a human being as well, She's not just

39:03

your mom and have space

39:06

for so How great

39:08

though that you I think that's what you

39:10

said, being okay people's flaws. How great that you can be your

39:12

full self with your family. I think that that's the

39:14

kicker. When you can be your full

39:17

self with anyone like

39:19

I have, like my husband, my I have

39:22

a few people in my life. I love so

39:24

many people, but there's a few people in my life who

39:26

I can fully be myself all

39:29

of it, all the parts that like I feel

39:31

like are ugly and gross too, and like all my

39:33

flaws. I feel like that is really

39:36

that to me is what true love is. True love

39:38

isn't like this like and it can go for like mother

39:40

and parent love, child love, sibling

39:43

love, you know, family love, friend love, you

39:45

know, romantic love, whatever. But it's like when you

39:47

can truly be your

39:50

full self the full spectrum, the good,

39:52

the bad, the ugly all of it. That,

39:54

to me is what like a loving relationship

39:57

is. Yes, und And

40:00

I always said, and I was like, I don't know if this is

40:02

gonna sound weird. I was like, but the day that I

40:04

find somebody that I can be

40:06

the way that I am around my sisters

40:09

and feel like they accept me and love

40:11

me for all that mess

40:13

and craziness and weirdness

40:16

and um awkwardness

40:18

and you know whatever else, that's

40:21

when I know that, like I've

40:23

met the person that I could spend my

40:25

life with and I haven't found that yet. I

40:27

have not found anybody I ever felt comfortable

40:30

enough with to be that

40:33

person around. Well, Tory, good

40:35

for you for waiting for it, because they

40:37

say this is the truth, like who

40:40

you marry determines nine of your

40:42

happiness, and I can vouch for that. I've

40:44

been married now for almost ten years and we've grown

40:46

up together and like I,

40:49

I mean, everyone has their own story, but like, yes,

40:51

we've had some really like moments that were

40:53

really hard, but we've always been able to

40:56

be honest and grow together. And I just think that, like

40:58

that is why I feel like I'm marriage

41:00

will be able to sustain, because like you're saying, if

41:02

you can't be your full self all

41:04

of it, you're gonna you're

41:07

gonna hit this wallet you can't live with anymore

41:09

for a while, because we we have to be able

41:11

to expand and be ourselves and have

41:13

a safeness haven to do that,

41:15

and you need a witness to your life. If you're going to partner

41:18

up with someone who's going to be okay with

41:20

all of it or else, that's not fair to your

41:22

soul. You're suppressing your soul. And you

41:24

know that. So that that just

41:26

means to me, like someone like you who

41:29

is like perfect in every way, like not

41:31

just like beauty and accolades

41:33

and talent and a

41:36

mental awareness and all of it. You have all

41:38

of it, And the fact that you aren't

41:40

partnered up yet to me means that

41:43

your soul is just getting it already

41:46

because you're so dynamite in every

41:48

way that if you were to settle,

41:50

I think you would be disservicing the world.

41:53

Because the union that you will have is going

41:55

to be so powerful because you're going to meet

41:57

someone who's such a match and then y'all can

41:59

be changers together. That is so

42:02

kind. I feel that, Oh

42:04

my god, I love that I really believe

42:07

that with my full self and the

42:09

fact listen to this whenever I get down again,

42:11

just that one part. But I mean you

42:14

know this too, Like you see people

42:16

who just kind of throwing the towel eventually and go for

42:18

a marriage because they want to get married. It's not the

42:20

way to do it. I mean, maybe it can work out, but

42:22

especially someone like you who knows all this,

42:24

you know the soul stuff, you know,

42:27

you know it, and so it's like

42:30

it's just so powerful that you

42:32

have the confidence and the trust

42:34

to wait. Like that's so because you could get married

42:36

tomorrow if you wanted to. And the fact that you're

42:38

not like and you're really trusting

42:41

it. Like I'm excited to follow your life

42:43

for many reasons, but like you're gonna be

42:45

You're a game changer across the board. Thank

42:48

you so much. That's so sweet. Thank you.

42:50

Okay, I'm gonna wrap up because I know you haven't great thing to

42:53

do. But what are you most excited about

42:55

on the horizon when it can be anything, doesn't have to be

42:57

work or whatever, Like what coming up in the next

42:59

year are you? Just like gives

43:01

you the full body tingles. Um.

43:04

I think just kind of what's

43:06

going to be next. I feel like

43:09

I've tied up a lot of I've

43:12

ended. There's been a lot of endings this

43:14

last like a year and a half of

43:16

my life. And now I'm kind

43:18

of like here at the farm,

43:20

like kind of seeing where I want to

43:22

move next, where I want to live next,

43:25

you know what I mean. Just I feel like

43:28

I'm at the start of a new

43:30

beginning and I don't know what it's gonna

43:32

be. So that's that exciting? Yeah?

43:34

It is. Oh man,

43:36

that's exciting because especially

43:39

like when you've been on such a long show leaving Chicago

43:41

mad and like you had such a life and a routine

43:44

and you're with your ensemble, you know your role, YadA, YadA,

43:46

YadA. So now so like

43:48

what does it feel like to be like, you know, kind

43:51

of starting What is that? Like? You're

43:53

you've lived so much now your life is

43:55

so rich of experiences, but

43:57

now here you are a fresh start again. Do

44:00

you have a visualization for how you want it to feel

44:03

this next go round? I? Yes,

44:06

definitely. I think I need to

44:08

Just I really want to do

44:11

things that like really light

44:13

me up, make me feel so good. I

44:15

want to invite people into my life. That make me

44:17

feel so good. I feel like I've always had a habit of

44:20

ignoring red flags because

44:22

you know, being a nurturing person,

44:25

you want to embrace everybody,

44:27

and I feel like I just

44:30

want everything to feel like such a

44:32

guest, do you know what I mean? And also speaking

44:34

to my nose. I feel like sometimes I've

44:37

fallen victim to that of not listening

44:39

to my nose and being like, well I'll

44:41

just do it, or well they

44:43

said this or whatever, and it's like

44:45

no being able to be like, Okay, that's so great

44:47

that that's you, but that doesn't serve me, so

44:49

like cool, all good? Um,

44:53

So yeah, I'm really excited. I'm

44:55

excited about it. That's awesome. You

45:00

feel though, like your thirties were the season that

45:02

you learned what servety and what doesn't and have that confidence.

45:04

We talked about it a little bit in the beginning, so like

45:07

like where you really can, like like you said,

45:09

lean into the full body. Yes, Like I feel like it took

45:11

me the full decade of my thirties to get

45:13

that. Yes, i feel like I'm finally

45:15

like actually fully

45:17

stepping into that now. Like I feel like my

45:20

twenties I cried my way through my twenties,

45:22

same absolute mess,

45:24

hot mess, express making out when everyone

45:27

I could was my twitters, doing any opportunity

45:29

that came my way. Just yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

45:31

hot mess all the time, hot saying.

45:34

And my thirties, like you said, like you start

45:36

really learning about yourself more, and now

45:38

I feel like, you know, I'm a year and a half

45:41

from forty, and I feel like I'm finally

45:43

like sinking into like who

45:45

I really am, what makes me happy,

45:48

being confident in myself, you

45:50

know, like I've never and I

45:52

love it. So I was when everyone's like, oh my

45:54

god, I'm gonna be thirty, I'm like congratulation

45:58

saying, well, I

46:01

have welcomed every decade with open

46:03

arms. But like I am very

46:05

very intense and so like and I also

46:08

am so much a like a seeker

46:10

of like improvement all the time and learning

46:13

and like like awakening my soul

46:15

constantly that it's annoying. It drives me creat

46:17

I wish I could give myself a freaking break. But

46:20

I and my twenties, like that's where I struggling,

46:22

like eating disorders in constant comparison

46:24

and trying to look a certain way and feeling insecure

46:27

and all that stuff. And I started therapy at

46:29

the end of my twenties because I was like, I am

46:31

not going into the thirties

46:33

with my twenty problems, my twenties

46:36

year old problems, and so like, I really cleaned up

46:38

my eating disorder and all of my thought belief

46:40

around that and worked on origin story

46:42

and started that process. So then my thirties

46:45

were exciting because I was like awaking

46:47

to this new person and then I'm

46:49

kind of like starting to figure out my real like

46:51

my full body yeses and nose and you

46:53

know, just like settling down a lot.

46:56

And now for forties, I'm like, I feel

46:58

like I'm cleaning out so much, like I'm simplifying

47:01

more than ever. Do you feel that just

47:04

like purging everything

47:06

I can, just stripping it down less

47:08

is more all day long, I want

47:11

only full body yeses, and I don't want

47:13

any clutter yes. I always

47:15

say the two keys that I feel like I've

47:17

learned to life are simplicity

47:20

and adaptability. Like

47:22

if you have those two things, like happiness

47:25

follows agreed. And then

47:27

I also think for me, I totally agree

47:29

with that mindset is so important

47:31

to me, which goes to adaptability.

47:33

But like I have, I've had I

47:35

haven't always had simplicity, but I've always been able

47:38

to live very simply. I really have. Like I've

47:40

been able to go fast just growing up and touring

47:42

band life, like you know. But

47:45

mindset has been the biggest for me, Like I

47:47

have had to work on my self talk because

47:49

I didn't realize how much I beat myself up

47:51

all the time and how negative I was. And I

47:53

was in a scarcity mindset a lot.

47:56

So I've had to flip it to like abundance

47:58

and like seeing the like we're talking about

48:00

earlier, Like I am the one who is choosing

48:03

this experience how I'm interpreting it. So I

48:05

gonna make my prison a

48:08

palace or my palace a prison,

48:10

and so I have to I've had to really

48:12

work on that a lot. That's

48:14

awesome. That wasn't natural for me. Did you

48:16

have natural good self? No? I don't think it's

48:19

natural for anyone. I mean unless

48:21

you grew up in like this like zen Buddhist

48:24

home. But I feel like part of being a human

48:26

is having to come over triumph

48:29

over adversity or you know what I mean,

48:31

Like hard times and so I don't think

48:33

that's actually I've never met someone that that was

48:35

natural for. I know who they just wake up happy.

48:37

I feel like Goldie Han maybe, but then I'm like, no, she's

48:39

got she's got to have ship in there, you know

48:41

exactly. Okay, Well, I

48:43

always wrap up with leave your light. What

48:46

do you want people to know? Oh?

48:49

What do I want people to know? Um?

48:52

I want people to know that

48:57

that love always

49:00

triumphs fear, and

49:04

love is all there is. And

49:06

if you really think about it, fear is just an illusion

49:09

because there cannot be fear

49:11

where there is love. There cannot be darker.

49:14

There is light. So lean

49:16

into love. I love that, and

49:18

love is everywhere, So fear

49:21

that's just us living in an

49:23

illusion that we made. I love that, Tory.

49:26

This is such a pleasure. Thank you so much too. I

49:29

hope you men to Nashville, and if you do, please

49:31

reach out. I would. I will for sure,

49:33

I will definitely. Okay, you

49:36

have the best holidays. Thank you too.

49:39

Okay. Bye,