How to spot a liar in negotiation

People are terrible at recognising when someone is lying, and whatever they do, and whoever they are, there is little chance they do well at catching a person that want to deceive them, although the ability to detect if someone is lying can be improved with the right practice. People lie and this is the fact, the person that is thinking otherwise is lying to themselves, and this creates a paradox already. Recent research proves that the impulse to lie resided deeply in human genes. The study also shows that not many people can go through a day without being deceitful. Not many people are able to read body language well, let alone micro expressions.

People use deception and lies when they feel insecure or want quick gains, and some people have lies embedded so deep in their personality that it is their second nature. Therefore, it should not come as a surprise that, in negotiations there is, higher than normal, use of deception and dishonesty. Some negotiators, especially these that have been mentored by the old ways, cannot imagine the negotiation process without deception.

The difference between successful negotiators and those that are not so successful is the capability to not be misled and act openly. Hence, to recognise when someone is lying and being deceitful requires knowledge of reading body language and behaviour, practice key elements and self-trust in the judgment of the current situation. “I always trust my gut, and most of the time I am right” — my wife keeps reminding me that it, sometimes, has to come from feeling rather than calculated analysis.

As everyone lies, the question that comes forward is if lying is so wrong after all? The legal proceedings define that false representation of a material fact or knowledge, or a belief as to the truthfulness of the matter, and whether it causes damage to the other party, dictates that misinterpretation of information for gain is illegal. In contractual negotiation, these elements are very often brought forward to understand unethical behaviours. With this in mind, the deception, lying or misleading is therefore not only morally wrong but also illegal. Not disclosing certain information is not lying but a tactical strategy.

Many negotiators omit information that can undermine their competitive advantage, and only revel some facts when asked, or when legal terms might be broken or affected, often enough it is too late in the process to make any changes related to such disclosure. The research shows that, 61% of negotiations came clean when asked a direct question that lead to uncovering their weakness at the bargaining table. It has to be noted that 40% on negotiators did not come clean and lied with persistence, and this is something that can quickly throw negotiator off the path, hence it is a good idea to start with probing question to determine the integrity of negotiation counterpart.

Detecting when someone is lying is close to impossible unless a person is a trained in the are of micro expression and therefore might mi able to identify if a person is lying but still not 100% and in some cases not ever the truth graph can determine the truth. The best solution for negotiators is to ask the right questions to be prepared and seal the deal with a thoroughly negotiated contract that leaves no ambiguity. Yes, detecting when someone is lying is close to impossible but catching a liar is not, but it can only be done if the right approach is undertaken from the start on negotiation. The best advice is not to be one.