0:00

when people say they have these

0:00

toxic relationships and all

0:02

this other stuff, if you just

0:02

sat down and spoke with this

0:04

person and not been blinded

0:04

by the nice restaurant, nice

0:07

cars, all this other stuff,

0:07

and got to know what type of

0:10

person this is, you might not

0:10

be in a toxic relationship.

0:17

Welcome to girl talk with the

0:17

boys and we are back again

0:21

this session where we are

0:21

talking about crazy shit that

0:26

we heard on the internet. So crazy shit that we

0:28

heard on the internet

0:32

related to relationships.

0:34

But before we dive in the

0:34

crazy shit number one and

0:38

crazy shit number two, come on

0:38

boys and introduce yourselves

0:42

starting with what's higher

0:42

than number one, baby.

0:47

Kai Carbaby, AKA Kaizu,

0:47

reporting for duty.

0:51

Ow. Straight out of Durham,

0:54

Bull City, baby. Okay.

0:59

All right. I didn't know y'all did that up there. Okay.

1:01

that before. I don't know what it means.

1:03

Is it nothing special. I'm good. Is it Bull City?

1:09

This guy, man. Don't know how to have fun.

1:12

Grumpy Smurf, man. week been before we

1:15

dive in what's the

1:18

week been like for you My week has been a week

1:20

of peace and balance.

1:23

good well, I just celebrated

1:24

a birthday, so my

1:26

birthday was on Monday. happy birthday Happy

1:32

birthday. Happy birthday. So I had a good time.

1:36

Well, for me, the week's going really well. Always a constant

1:38

grind, but that's good.

1:40

I'm always moving in

1:40

a positive direction.

1:43

I got a couple more days left. I'm going to take a week

1:44

off and go to Mexico, and

1:47

then I'm going to come back

1:47

and start grinding again.

1:50

Mm you know, some of the The

1:51

topics that we've seen and

1:55

had discussions about our

1:55

surrounding relationships,

1:59

which is what we talk

1:59

about mostly here anyway.

2:02

But the 1st, 1, Chi, you kind of

2:02

dug up and thought it would be

2:08

a good topic for us to discuss.

2:11

I thought so too. So you want to talk about it.

2:14

I absolutely do. So there's this new thing

2:16

going around where women don't

2:21

want to be taken to certain

2:21

restaurant destinations.

2:25

And so I actually heard two

2:25

schools of thought about it

2:29

from two different women. And one woman's like, uh,

2:30

don't invite me to Cracker

2:34

Barrel for breakfast. And then the other one was

2:36

like, Hey, if I asked you to

2:39

go to Cracker Barrel, would

2:39

you, would that offend you?

2:41

Would you say no? And she was like, no,

2:42

we'll go to Cracker Barrel. She's like, but just, you

2:44

know, don't let it fall down

2:46

to McDonald's, you know,

2:46

because I don't eat McDonald's.

2:53

I was like, I don't either. So you don't have

2:54

to worry about that. With my waffle house.

2:57

She said she went to Waffle House All right,

3:01

on a date, on a date,

3:01

at Waffle House.

3:03

So it's like, you know,

3:03

when I grew up, Sizzla

3:06

was, you know, was, was,

3:06

you know, was the shit.

3:08

Red Lobster was the shit man red lobster.

3:11

It was almost like you have money Right, you're right.

3:15

Sizzla, Red Lobster. thing about it is don't don't

3:17

don't don't laugh about that

3:19

because my every time I go home

3:19

I always tell my mom and say hey

3:22

mom I'm gonna take you someplace

3:22

nice where you want to go for

3:25

some reason She always says

3:25

red lobster and i'm like, oh my

3:27

You cannot Cause that's what we write.

3:31

but but it's back then that

3:33

Oh, so that would be a

3:33

note for you then today.

3:36

If somebody said, if, if

3:36

somebody was like, hey Melissa,

3:38

I'd like to take you out. And you're like, oh,

3:39

what you have in mind? I was thinking of Red Lobster.

3:42

What would you that'd be a negative ghost

3:42

writer, I mean they're dirty

3:46

Well, you know what? I honestly think that women

3:47

should focus more on the time

3:50

they're going to spend with the person across the table with them, instead of where

3:52

they're going to be eating.

3:55

Because that's the most important portion of the date Because the date is for you

3:57

to get to know the person.

4:00

If I'm not taking you to

4:00

a five star room, I mean,

4:02

granted, if I can afford

4:02

to take you to a five star

4:05

restaurant, that's fantastic. But if I can't, and I can

4:06

only take you twos and threes,

4:09

you should be focusing on the guy across the table. Yeah, you got to pick another

4:12

two or three because i'm

4:14

not going to red lobster

4:14

red lobster is dirty.

4:16

They just had um, um, Uh for a

4:16

video those jokers the rats was

4:23

running all through the joint. No, thank you Yeah.

4:25

Yeah. There's certain places. There's certain places

4:27

I'm not even going, so,

4:29

Yeah, I mean, I mean, you can pick a nice place.

4:31

That's clean and cleanliness. It doesn't have to be red

4:33

lobster per se, but it

4:36

could be like a two or three star restaurant. And you know,

4:39

What about Cheesecake Factory, Melissa? That was, that's a big

4:41

one on the internet. I like the Cheesecake Factory.

4:44

I think it's a

4:44

nice establishment.

4:47

I think the food is great. Um, but that was a big one.

4:51

I was on the internet where a

4:51

girl cut the date off because

4:54

she didn't want to go to,

4:54

um, the Cheesecake Factory.

4:58

I think it was more so because

4:58

they were supposed to go

5:01

somewhere else prior to going

5:01

to the Cheesecake Factory.

5:04

And then when she showed up,

5:04

she was like, Whoa, this is not

5:06

where you supposed to be taking

5:06

me or something like that.

5:08

fake news. to piggyback on some of

5:09

the stuff you guys were

5:12

talking about as far

5:12

as dirty restaurants.

5:15

I don't know if you know

5:15

half of the ones in D.

5:18

C. are pretty dirty, and they're

5:19

considered five star, right?

5:23

So I don't know if you

5:23

guys have ever been to D.

5:25

C. and seen those rats

5:26

running around, but they're

5:28

all throughout those

5:28

restaurants regardless of

5:30

if you see them or not. So well, they're not at

5:32

restaurant Shea Melissa and

5:35

that's where I typically go. I mean, but there's, there's

5:38

also videos of guys who make

5:40

really nice dinners for a girl

5:40

at their house and they're

5:43

not appreciative of that. I mean, if a guy sits there and

5:45

he makes a meal for you, I mean,

5:48

you gotta understand if someone

5:48

feeds you, that's a big deal.

5:51

I mean, when you sit in there,

5:51

you gotta understand what

5:53

the whole symbolic meaning of

5:53

breaking bread with somebody,

5:56

believe it or not, you have

5:56

wars decided over dinner,

5:59

um, peace conferences decided

5:59

over dinner, a lot can be

6:02

done over dinner where, and

6:02

then you think about it.

6:04

I'm going to talk to you. We're going to be shared. We're going to be sharing food.

6:07

We're going to be, um, we're going to be, um, drinking together.

6:11

It's, that is your

6:11

opportunity to get to find

6:13

out who this person is. If he's a jerk and he's taking

6:15

you to five star restaurants,

6:18

I mean, you're going to get lost in the restaurant. Then you're going to find out,

6:20

you know, you wake up next to

6:22

the morning and you're next to

6:22

this guy and you're like, man,

6:24

I don't even like this person. I mean, that's a valid point.

6:28

Like, I don't know. Um, I haven't been

6:30

on a dating scene.

6:32

So is that something

6:32

that men are doing now

6:37

is cooking for women. I cook.

6:41

You know, I'm a very good cook, so. Most times it's probably

6:44

better to stay at the

6:46

crib with me and just eat. I'm not, you know, I'm not

6:48

pulling out frozen fish sticks.

6:52

You know what Kanye

6:52

said, fish stick, but

6:55

I'm eating that lobster. You know what I mean? So you eating lobster tail,

6:57

you know, filet mignon, ribeye.

7:03

You know, Doc Nelly

7:03

came through one day.

7:05

I was like, hey, he was like, hey, what's that smell? I was like, it's some, you

7:08

know, Chilean sea bass.

7:13

I'm not, I'm not going to say what I said, It ain't no fried whiting, you

7:15

know, no fried falafel, you

7:18

know, it's, you know, we eat I mean, if you really want to

7:20

impress a young lady and you

7:23

want to have a nice dinner,

7:23

um, it's, it's cheaper to

7:26

have a private chef come in

7:26

and cook the food for you

7:29

right in right in your house. And, you know, they give you

7:30

drinks, you chill, you relax,

7:34

have your drinks, you walk over,

7:34

you have a three or five course

7:38

meal, and you're ready to roll,

7:38

and you're paying the same

7:40

amount of money as you would

7:40

if you had um, uh, you went to

7:44

like a Ruth Chris or something. to cook

7:46

yourself. don't think it's as cheap

7:47

as Ruth Chris, bruh. Come on now, I think

7:49

you, eh, you might take

7:52

it up a little bit. what do you mean, the private chef?

7:55

Yeah, I know. Ruth Chris is like,

7:56

that's, that's like

7:59

McDonald's to us now, man. Come Well, you know what I mean, most

8:01

people, see, I'm not, I'm not

8:03

saying it to us, I'm saying it

8:03

for everyone to understand, Ruth

8:06

Chris is like a pinnacle place. Ruth Chris is overrated anyway.

8:11

I would, I wouldn't say Mmm. I disagree with that.

8:14

I disagree with that. I don't care where you

8:15

go in America, it's

8:17

gonna be a consistent, good meal.

8:20

a, like, overrated. I've been to better

8:21

steakhouses than Ruth Chris,

8:24

Oh, I'm, I'm not saying I'm not better. No, I'm not, I wouldn't,

8:26

yeah, I'm not gonna I'm not, I'm not, saying it's

8:27

the best, but I'm definitely

8:30

not saying it's the worst. I said it's overrated.

8:34

I wouldn't go that far. why we all have our

8:36

own opinions, but I think

8:38

Right, I was about to say, yeah,

8:38

yeah, we got our own opinions.

8:41

If she thinks it's overrated, it's overrated to her. I'd like

8:44

to know from your generation. Does your generation

8:45

cook for assistance?

8:48

can't speak for everybody, so,

8:48

uh, but, but I like to grill,

8:54

so, I mean, especially during

8:54

the summertime and spring, I

8:57

learned from Kai, you know, and

8:57

doing my own thing on the side,

9:01

but, um, I like to grill, so. Either I'm doing that or

9:03

I might cook, you know,

9:05

for whomever I'm dating. That's cool.

9:08

We all grill. I mean, I love going to Costco

9:09

or I like getting some aged

9:12

beef, getting a big, thick cut.

9:14

And then you go in there and you, and you fry it up on a, you go there and

9:16

grill it up on the grill. But the problem is a lot

9:18

of women don't like a big thick cut of steak like that.

9:22

what if you're balling on a budget? Like, everybody can't

9:24

afford these meals.

9:26

You talk about steak and filet

9:26

mignon and, um, filet mignon

9:31

and lobster and big ribeye.

9:34

you can afford that stuff. 'cause you think about

9:35

it, you get lobster tails. They're not that expensive.

9:38

They're 10 bucks a tail. You don't have to, you

9:40

don't get the huge ones, but you get 10 bucks a tail.

9:43

You go down, you go to

9:43

Food Line or, or Harris

9:46

Teeter or whatever. You go a nice ribeye,

9:47

you get rib eye. hey, I know what boiling on a

9:48

budget is, because, you know,

9:51

when I was in college, I had

9:51

my own place, and when I would

9:54

cook, you know, I would whip

9:54

up some, like, a box of mac and

9:59

cheese, then I would take some

9:59

turkey meat, brown it and season

10:02

it up, and throw it in there and mix it up with some spinach, and now we got like a gourmet

10:06

I'm not knocking Food Lion. What I'm knocking is

10:08

there are certain things

10:10

that you do and you don't

10:10

buy from certain stores.

10:14

So, I wouldn't buy

10:14

meat from Walmart.

10:18

Just like I wouldn't buy a

10:18

lobster from Food Lion or a

10:23

lobster tail from Food Lion. some guys, some

10:25

people don't know. So when you understand, they

10:27

know lobster is something fancy.

10:30

Sometimes you can buy it at Food Lion, you can buy it at Fresh Market.

10:33

You can buy it at all these different places. You can buy it from Whole Foods.

10:36

I mean, if you don't know, you don't know. It depends on who

10:38

you're dating, right? So she already knows, or she

10:40

already had lobster tail.

10:44

You can't fool her, right? So like, what is this?

10:46

Is this crawfish? This ain't lobsters. What is this?

10:48

Yeah.

10:54

Personally, it is

10:54

what is what it is.

10:56

I mean, everyone can sit here

10:56

and say this, that, and the

11:00

other thing, but, you know,

11:00

until you know, you don't know.

11:04

Like, sometimes you can

11:04

buy a thick steak and think

11:07

you're gonna save some money by cutting it in half. Or you know, I mean,

11:09

it's not racist.

11:12

It's not it's not

11:12

that you don't know.

11:14

It's just that you think that's

11:14

what it's what you're supposed

11:16

to do You know, not everyone's

11:16

gonna get like like, you know

11:20

The good thing is I can like we

11:20

can afford now To go to costco

11:24

and buy a whole prime piece

11:24

of big prime rib and have a

11:28

butcher cut it up for us You

11:28

know, we can buy flank steak.

11:32

We know different cuts of steak, Yeah, but if we go back

11:33

to our original statement,

11:37

what Kai said was the

11:37

young lady would not go to

11:43

Cheats Food Factory

11:43

or Cracker Barrel.

11:46

So do you think that

11:46

she's gonna eat a lobster

11:50

from, um, Lion, Food Lion?

11:54

I don't think I'm going to take you to Cracker

11:56

Barrel and they're like, I

11:58

don't like Cracker Barrel. All right, we'll

11:59

go to this place. Oh no, I don't like this place.

12:02

If I don't like this, I don't like this. Um, first off I would pack

12:04

her stuff up and shoo her

12:09

out the door because someone

12:09

like that is just, um, that's

12:12

not the person you want. Because you, you need someone

12:14

who's going to be with you when you're down and when

12:16

you're going to be up. here's what I think.

12:19

I think that as like right now,

12:19

you know, me and doc, we used to

12:23

go to Ruth Chris all the time. First of all, we

12:25

started out at Longhorn. You know what I mean?

12:29

What's the other one? Outback, Longhorn. We were Outback and

12:31

Longhorn brothers. Then we graduated to Ruth Chris.

12:35

Then it was Morton's. Then it was Flanagan's

12:37

or Fleming's.

12:39

And then now we can go to Rathburn. Now we can go to wherever.

12:42

We can get 180 cuts of

12:42

Wagyu beef if we wanted to.

12:47

So, so think about women who

12:47

have kind of their, their

12:53

head is not on crack about,

12:53

so you got to know that.

12:56

Listen, I'm finished. Now you have to know

12:57

the class of women.

13:00

You're dating. If you're going, look, if

13:02

you're dating women who are VPs.

13:06

Don't go to them with crack about that's you a dummy for doing that.

13:11

That's like, Hey, I'm going

13:11

to go a race, but you coming

13:13

up there in a beetle and everybody else is driving. Come on, son.

13:17

You got to come in with a Bugatti. Now, if the woman is a different

13:19

type of one where they like,

13:21

that's what they expect. And they come into the table.

13:24

I used to, you know, every,

13:24

you got to know that I'm

13:26

not, you know, I'm not with

13:26

that, but you know, the way

13:29

I roll, I'm not, I'm not taking you to crack about it. I'm not taking you

13:32

to Chick fil a. You know what I'm saying?

13:35

I'm not taking you to Ruby

13:35

Tuesdays and Applebee's.

13:38

That's college day shit. Yes.

13:40

And no, I think, I think,

13:40

I think it depends on

13:43

where she's humble too. So, I mean, if she's willing, if

13:44

she's a VP for instance, right.

13:48

And she doesn't really

13:48

expect you to do the

13:52

extraordinary, that's fine.

13:54

I mean, you don't have to take

13:54

somebody else, you don't have to

13:57

take no girl out, you know, on

13:57

the first date somewhere, fancy.

14:02

You can go in between and

14:02

then you gradually take her

14:04

there just to see how she

14:04

reacts to certain things.

14:07

That's, that's my opinion. That's what I would do.

14:09

but you're, you're not going

14:09

to Cracker Barrel either.

14:13

Let's be real about it. know, man,

14:16

it a cracker barrel, I've done crack about

14:19

No, I'm not. Well, I'm not. Well, I know you've done

14:21

it, but now you're in a

14:23

position where your first

14:23

thought probably isn't

14:25

going to be, you know what? I'm going to wake up and take

14:26

my baby to Cracker Barrel.

14:30

think it goes back to what he

14:30

said, which, which date is it?

14:33

I think along the lines of,

14:33

you know, when we were talking

14:37

in the chat, I think coffee

14:37

is fine for a first date.

14:41

It doesn't have to be

14:41

something extravagant,

14:44

There are coffee shops that are better. You spin.

14:47

Cracker Barrel. Now, you can go to

14:49

here in Atlanta. You got Cafe Intimezzo.

14:51

You got little French spots you

14:51

can go to that are nice, upscale

14:55

coffee shops with nice pastries. So, that's different

14:57

than Cracker Barrel.

15:00

That's true. but I'm still going to

15:01

stand on the point that. It doesn't matter where

15:03

you go with the person, um, CEO, you know, the fry

15:05

girl at McDonald's, you

15:10

want to know what kind of person you're dealing with. And, you know, and that's why,

15:12

that's why I think a coffee,

15:16

coffee shop date is fine. You just want

15:18

to sit there and talk, but you do, you just want to sit

15:19

there and talk to the person and

15:22

find out where their head's at. Because, you know, And the

15:23

funny thing about it is if

15:26

you can take a girl to Cracker

15:26

Barrel and she appreciates

15:29

you buying her and taking

15:29

her to Cracker Barrel, great.

15:32

If you don't think, if she's

15:32

not going to appreciate Cracker

15:34

Barrel, and oh, this is not

15:34

good enough for me, this

15:36

is not this, you know what? That might not be a person

15:38

who's only interested

15:41

in materialistic things. Because the thing, just like

15:43

everything else, materialistic

15:47

things, exterior features,

15:47

um, I always tell people, you

15:51

can be good looking now, you

15:51

can be good looking ten years

15:53

from now, but guess what? Good looks fade.

15:56

Because as you get older,

15:56

we don't get better looking.

15:58

I mean, you can still stay

15:58

good looking, but after

16:00

a while, you want to be

16:00

involved with somebody who

16:03

has a lot more to offer you

16:03

than just a pretty face.

16:06

You want a great personality. You want her to

16:07

be able to laugh. You want her to be able to

16:09

help you out with problems. So my whole thing is, you're

16:12

not going to find that out,

16:15

um, if you're eating a 300

16:15

meal and you can barely

16:20

talk and you got to whisper. You know, you might want to

16:22

find out, does she cut up?

16:25

You know, she can write, she

16:25

can say jokes and she can

16:28

laugh and she ain't going to

16:28

be upset when you make jokes

16:30

about it and that stuff. You know, you do, you want

16:32

to be able to find that out.

16:34

So that's what I think the meal is for. I mean, I think we've

16:36

personally, I think we're

16:39

focusing on the meal itself. Yeah. You're not focused on the person

16:41

across the table from you.

16:44

Not that, Mean, that's really a valid statement. Like people are

16:46

focused on the what.

16:49

You know, and where you're going versus

16:51

how is this person going

16:55

to add value to my life?

16:57

Do I really like this person? Are they worth the second date

16:59

versus where you're going?

17:05

That's very valid. And there is a lot

17:06

of emphasis on that.

17:09

I agree. I hate to say it. We're more interested in

17:11

someone who's wearing Louis

17:14

Vuitton, doing this, doing

17:14

that Dior, this thing,

17:17

that thing, that thing. And on the, and on the

17:18

inside, you know, they're

17:22

a horrible person. They're a horrible

17:24

person, you know?

17:27

And then you believe it or not, the person who's wearing like, I don't know, Tommy

17:29

Hilfiger, I mean, something

17:33

wearing something normal, Tell me if it ain't normal.

17:36

You're gonna have to go

17:36

on down to Walmart, like.

17:39

faded, faded glory, man. But the thing is though,

17:41

at the end of the day, you wanna, you wanna be

17:43

with somebody who's real. Hey, we, we, look, we all have

17:45

been there and have elevated.

17:49

And as you elevate the

17:49

circles, you date and

17:52

should be elevated as well. So as you

17:55

move up, let me finish, doc. So as you move up, so in

17:57

the past, you know, I didn't

17:59

wear Gucci and Prada and all

17:59

that, you know, Bulbarian,

18:02

but I wear that shit. The Yeezys, you know, cause

18:03

I, you know, I like my stuff.

18:06

I can afford it. I'm not robbing

18:07

Peter to pay Paul. So, and so with that comes

18:09

the different, you know,

18:13

I'm not running in circles

18:13

with women that, you

18:15

know, can't do the same. You um, I might have to leave your

18:17

circle cause I shop at Shein.

18:21

that. a personal choice. Yes.

18:23

a personal choice. It's not that you

18:24

can't afford it. It's a personal choice.

18:27

Yes, and, you know what though? But that should be just fine.

18:30

For some guys, that'd be like, I can be, I

18:31

can be like this. You know what?

18:34

I can be like, you know what? That's the kind of girl I like.

18:37

She ain't she's not caught

18:37

up in all the superficiality.

18:40

She's just basic and real. Boom. If she likes to wear whatever

18:42

this, that, and that.

18:44

If she looks good in it, god bless her. I think, you know, people look

18:47

phenomenal in those clothes,

18:50

but like you said, it's just,

18:50

uh, um, a personal choice

18:57

It's a personal choice. And at the end of the day,

18:58

it's all vanity anyway.

19:02

And I've realized that,

19:02

you know what I'm saying?

19:04

I used to be a high W and

19:04

that's expensive stuff.

19:08

Yeah. That was back when I couldn't afford it. You know what I mean?

19:10

I mean, I can afford it. So,

19:13

But you work like, let me finish in that part.

19:16

Thank you. I put in the work, but I

19:16

don't want to sound like. But, you know, I'm this high

19:19

minded guy, of course, you know,

19:22

I've dated women that don't

19:22

make as much as me, but they

19:26

brought more things to the table

19:26

than just the financial side.

19:30

So, I think the important piece

19:30

is, yes, you know, there are

19:33

certain things you get to know

19:33

the person and you're like, ah,

19:36

this person is materialistic

19:36

and not really just, you know,

19:39

like to enjoy the spice of life

19:39

based on where you are, you

19:43

know, there's a difference you

19:43

can, and you should be able

19:45

to tell that and pick that up

19:45

that a materialistic person

19:48

is not a materialistic person. It's different for somebody

19:49

who's like, okay, they're not materialistic, but they

19:50

just like to enjoy life

19:53

and not afraid to spend,

19:53

spend now to enjoy it.

19:56

but I think everyone

19:56

chooses what they want

19:59

to spend their money on. Like, I may have a different

20:01

advice than buying name

20:06

brand things, but I might

20:06

like to do something else.

20:09

Um, it might be a different

20:09

way that I spend my money.

20:12

But you can like go on Facebook

20:12

now and, and get some of that

20:16

stuff, but it, to me, it's still

20:16

like, it's a lot of money for

20:20

a purse where Louis Vuitton

20:20

is really not even leather.

20:23

It's vinyl. The last topic that we have

20:24

Is the video that I sent

20:31

in the chat where the young

20:31

lady was saying that she's

20:36

not going back to like you

20:36

break up with someone and

20:40

then they want to come back. Well, women are thinking

20:41

that because you're coming

20:45

back, it means that they

20:45

think you're a dummy and they

20:48

could continue to play you. know what?

20:51

I'll be quite honest with you. Some of the, some of the people

20:53

who get on the internet, and I

20:55

don't know why you do this, but

20:55

it just, it's just a bad look.

20:59

I mean, some people break up

20:59

with other people and they

21:02

say, Hey, you know what? I realized what I had and

21:03

I want to go back to it.

21:06

And you know, every, I mean, that's, that's just facts of life.

21:09

No one thinks you're a dummy. I mean, that's, that's not,

21:11

that's just not realistic.

21:14

I I thought that was stupid.

21:17

you're gonna have arguments. Me and Kai have had arguments.

21:20

I'm not gonna, I'm like, oh, I'm

21:20

not gonna talk to Kai no more.

21:23

no, it's not, not

21:23

where it's platonic.

21:26

It's a man and a woman still a relationship.

21:29

And at the end of the day, if you have a relationship with somebody, and things

21:31

don't go back, I mean, you

21:34

can get mad at somebody. You can walk away and

21:35

take a break, and then

21:37

say, you know what? I don't want, I don't

21:38

want there to be so much separation between us.

21:41

I want to be with this person. I mean, I get it.

21:44

But the funny thing is,

21:44

is just that you have to

21:46

understand dating is like

21:46

you, you have to develop,

21:50

there's, there's peaks and

21:50

valleys in every relationship.

21:53

And unfortunately, you're gonna go through a valley and you're gonna realize,

21:55

Hey, you know what? I made a mistake, and I

21:57

missed this person, and I want

22:00

this person back in my life. And that's what you're doing.

22:03

All this other stuff, Oh, they

22:03

think I'm a dummy, they do that,

22:06

I think they're doing that just think it could be if, if

22:07

the relationship was toxic.

22:11

right. Exactly. So if the relationship

22:14

She didn't give she didn't

22:14

give any context on how

22:17

the relationship was. She's just coming out.

22:20

Like, she's the authority

22:20

on breakups and to make up.

22:24

All right. Well, there's this, there's,

22:24

you know, you have the worst

22:27

case scenario and then you

22:27

have the best case scenario.

22:29

Doc's talking best case where

22:29

two people can be adult,

22:32

mature, mature adults who are

22:32

self aware and understand that

22:36

sometimes shit doesn't work

22:36

and then you got over here.

22:39

If you go back to somebody, you're done. And then in between

22:41

those extremes, you

22:44

got every iteration and

22:46

you know what? can exist at the same time.

22:49

And you know what the funny thing is? If we go back to the last

22:50

conversation and apply the

22:53

last conversation in this

22:53

conversation, when people

22:55

say they have these toxic relationships and all this other stuff, if you just

22:57

sat down and spoke with this

22:59

person and not been blinded

22:59

by the nice restaurant, nice

23:02

cars, all this other stuff,

23:02

and got to know what type of

23:05

person this is, you might not

23:05

be in a toxic relationship.

23:09

You know, you might find

23:09

if you sat down and talk to

23:11

this guy, you might find out,

23:11

hey, this guy is, he's got an

23:14

unnecessarily angry temper. Because, um, I could be in

23:17

the coffee shop and a person

23:19

makes my order badly and

23:19

I'm yelling at the girl,

23:22

I'm slamming stuff down. Your thought process

23:23

has got to be, Hey, this

23:26

might not be the guy. But if you take it to a nice

23:27

restaurant, um, you don't get

23:30

to, you don't get to interact

23:30

with me in a meaningful way that

23:33

a lot of stuff gets overlooked

23:33

because you're looking at

23:36

the presentation of the food. You're looking at

23:37

the presentation. That's why a lot of business

23:39

lunches don't, they don't have

23:41

business lunches anymore because

23:41

people lose concentration and

23:45

focus while they're eating. And there's always an

23:46

interruption so that you

23:49

cannot keep on the business.

23:52

So when you, so what they do

23:52

is they have lunch, but they

23:55

order it in so you can be at

23:55

a table and you can be doing

23:58

work and you can focus on

23:58

the work and eat in between.

24:01

It depends on the woman, you

24:01

know, I just, here's the deal.

24:06

If that's a woman's

24:06

411 or her M.

24:09

O. That's just going to

24:10

be her 4 1 1 and her M. O. until she decides

24:12

to get out the game. You know, you got pimps

24:14

and you got playettes.

24:17

And that's just the reality of life. And then you just got to

24:19

know who you're messing with. Trust me, you'll know,

24:21

like I said earlier.

24:24

If you are a self aware,

24:24

observant, You know, value

24:29

based, principle based,

24:29

behavior based individual.

24:32

You'll be able to tell the difference between a woman who's that type of play yet

24:33

versus someone, all right.

24:36

They just like to enjoy the

24:36

spice of life because we have

24:39

balance in our relationship. Sometimes they want to go to

24:41

Marcel's or, you know, Rathburn

24:45

steakhouse, or they're good

24:45

with just chilling at the

24:47

crib cooking steak or stir fry

24:47

some, you know, take tips and

24:51

some fried rice at the crib. And if you're not, if it's

24:52

like that, then we cool. But if it's always, you know,

24:54

We got to always dip, dip, dip.

24:57

And I'm not, you know, I'm not with that. No, I was going to

24:59

say, I agree with that. You can definitely tell, um,

25:00

uh, unscrupulous, you know,

25:04

behavior or whatnot, because

25:04

it's going to show probably

25:07

within the next, well, within

25:07

the next five minutes or

25:11

so of your interaction with

25:11

that person, you can kind of

25:13

get a gauge of how they are. Right.

25:15

So then it also, it also boils

25:15

down to how people communicate

25:20

because once again, people

25:20

don't know how to communicate.

25:23

Right. There, there's a gap into how

25:23

people interact with certain

25:27

people because of, could it

25:27

be their environment and how

25:30

they saw other people act? And so they act the same way.

25:32

So people just don't know how

25:32

to communicate in general.

25:35

They don't know how to express their feelings because you know what?

25:39

That was a clip I saw the other

25:39

day where that said he doesn't

25:42

express how he feels or he

25:42

doesn't vent to a woman because.

25:47

They're going to use it

25:47

against them that goes how,

25:51

you know, how we communicate

25:51

and how, you know, certain

25:55

relationships are with certain

25:55

people, but it's just crazy

25:59

how you meet certain people

25:59

who just don't know how to

26:02

either vent or just communicate

26:02

in general and to express

26:04

how they feel about somebody. That is powerful.

26:09

Um, and we talked about

26:09

that in our last episode.

26:12

But I was also gonna say

26:12

there's layers to what doc

26:16

said Like, you know, you have

26:16

that one meeting, but we all

26:20

know When you first go out with

26:20

someone for the first three

26:24

to six months, you're you're

26:24

talking to the impersonator So

26:28

they're gonna hide everything

26:28

For the most part until

26:32

stuff starts to creep out. You're not gonna see it on

26:34

the first date most instances

26:38

So superficial. And then I, on good behavior

26:41

yeah. And then I, I'll add to yours.

26:43

We, I think there's an

26:43

element of selfishness.

26:47

It's about me, me, me, me, me,

26:47

what I feel, what I want to do

26:52

versus how do we walk together?

26:54

What do I do to

26:54

compliment value?

26:57

Do I bring to that person? And what value do they

26:58

bring back to me is it

27:01

can't just be one And I the thing you have to understand

27:03

when you're with somebody and

27:05

then, and it's tough for me to do and it's tough for a lot of people to do, um, is that you

27:07

have to understand and you got

27:10

to walk in that person's shoes. You got to understand their

27:12

position, but on the, on the,

27:14

on the flip side too, you

27:14

know, they have to understand

27:17

your position and you can say,

27:17

Hey, I understand your, what

27:21

you're in, but you, but you

27:21

got to see the position I'm in.

27:24

And if they never see the

27:24

position you're in, you're

27:26

going to always feel slighted. Yeah.

27:30

then some people are. over. That's game over for me.

27:32

Yeah. And, and some people, some people label that narcissistic, oh, you're

27:34

narcissistic, you're narcissist.

27:37

No, you gotta think,

27:37

you gotta understand.

27:40

I'm going through some real life

27:40

shit and you know, I understand

27:43

the position you're in, but I'm

27:43

in, but I'm in the weeds too.

27:46

You know? I mean, I mean, you

27:47

are in the weeds. I'm in the weeds.

27:49

I got an idea. Let's get together, be a team,

27:50

and we probably might be able to

27:53

knock these weeds down together. But if you're, you're, if

27:55

you're, if you're stuck in

27:57

your head about your problems

27:57

and you're not even remotely

28:00

gonna listen, you're not even remotely interested in what I'm, my, my problems are.

28:03

I got going on, then it makes

28:03

it real tough because you're

28:06

the mismatch. Two are better than one.

28:09

How always. together? Unless they agree. People are forgetting that, you

28:11

know, it's not like, you know,

28:15

you know, everyone's thinking. Yeah, it's it's us against the

28:16

world But there's going to be

28:19

some points where I carry you

28:19

and the funny thing about it

28:22

Is is that you don't realize

28:22

that because I remember um,

28:25

the funny thing about it Is I was watching one of my college football tapes I said, you know,

28:27

I saw one I popped that thing

28:30

in the dvd player and i'm like

28:30

man Let me see just relive my

28:33

glory years and i'm watching

28:33

it and there was a play Where

28:37

the, um, where the tackle goes

28:37

down and I come in behind him.

28:42

And the thing that I, the

28:42

thing I recognized is that

28:45

the guy, the tackle in front

28:45

of me, he would literally

28:48

grab the opposing player and

28:48

pull him so I could run by.

28:53

And the thing that I, and the

28:53

funny thing is, I never realized

28:57

that he was giving himself up

28:57

so I could make the big play.

29:00

So the thing about it is, is

29:00

that here is this guy, he's,

29:04

he's pretty much pulling

29:04

everyone on top of himself.

29:08

So you don't even see who he is. And then I run up and

29:10

I make the, I make the

29:12

tackle, I make the sack. And, and I'm like standing

29:14

there, my arms up in the air.

29:16

But the reality is, I never

29:16

would have been in that position

29:20

if I didn't have the help. So that's it's called the team.

29:23

in

29:37

buying me and where I eat and everything. Cause you gotta understand, if

29:39

I take you to Cracker Barrel,

29:42

and you're having a big fit

29:42

about me taking you to Cracker

29:45

Barrel, I'm not gonna wanna take

29:45

you to um, a fancy restaurant.

29:50

Because I know, when the

29:50

things are down, this

29:53

is how you're gonna act. Everyone is great

29:54

when you're up. Everyone's happy when you're up.

29:58

I mean, it's great to be around me when we're up. But I'm telling you what, back

30:00

when Cracker Barrel was the,

30:04

I mean, that was the joint

30:04

to go to, you know, you had,

30:06

you had your nose turned up. So I mean, for the

30:08

most part, that's why

30:10

I do the coffee dates. That's why I would do a coffee

30:12

date, simply for the fact that,

30:15

you know, if you're, if you're,

30:15

if you're, if I don't like you,

30:17

I don't like your energy, I don't like what you're bringing to the table, it only costs

30:19

me what, five dollars for a

30:22

high priced thing of coffee. It's true.

30:30

I have a book that is

30:30

available on um, Amazon

30:35

and Barnes and Nobles. Volume 1, The Ragdoll Diaries,

30:36

Pink Panties on the Floor.

30:41

Wanted to read a excerpt

30:41

from the book, um, just

30:46

to correlate, um, what we

30:46

were talking about today.

30:51

And get your, your final

30:51

thoughts from there.

30:55

So, um, just to, to give the

30:55

readers a synopsis of Shay

31:03

is the main character, she's

31:03

dating Andre, but She knows

31:07

that she is one of his women,

31:07

but she feels like, you know,

31:11

she wants him to get it all

31:11

out of his system and she's

31:14

going to be the main chick. And then the other chick

31:15

is going to be nothing.

31:18

So, um, but her

31:18

bubble was busted.

31:22

So she says, reality is

31:22

I'm not sure what men are

31:26

thinking where they pull on

31:26

the heartstrings of women.

31:29

In some instances, we allow

31:29

it because a man will only

31:32

do What you allow them to

31:32

do, but in some instances, I

31:36

believe greed gets the best

31:36

of them One dude told me he

31:40

was just selfish selfish.

31:42

Nah, you're greedy, bitch

31:42

Walking around here sticking

31:45

anything with the pulse that

31:45

says hello Men need to stop for

31:49

a moment and realize that their

31:49

daughters or granddaughters may

31:53

go through the same experiences. They may perhaps find men

31:55

just like them and it is

31:58

then I hope they stop for

31:58

a moment and remember all

32:01

of the women whom they

32:01

victimized through the years.

32:04

Women are not dogs or puppies,

32:04

whichever one you want to use.

32:07

Women are not pawns. Women are feeling people

32:09

with real emotions and

32:11

men must realize that they

32:11

cannot just pick us up and

32:14

throw us away like old rags

32:14

whenever they feel like it.

32:18

I know that I am worthy of

32:18

someone who's going to love me

32:22

and only me But I cannot see

32:22

it right now standing on the

32:26

inside So I will continue to

32:26

play this game until I crap out

32:32

I think who she's dealing

32:32

with and where she's

32:35

getting these people from. Number one, So if you're

32:36

constantly going to the same

32:40

well to get these people, then you need to change your, well, you need to

32:42

change your environment. Number two, I mean, you

32:44

need to look at yourself and

32:47

analyze yourself and, you

32:47

know, try to figure out why am

32:50

I dealing with these people? Expect more for yourself.

32:53

How to blame somebody else. She had a little self

32:56

esteem By the way,

32:58

I agree. That's what it sounds like. And then that might come

33:00

from, uh, you know, maybe

33:03

like I said earlier, the

33:03

environment or parental trauma.

33:08

Some kind of trauma

33:08

that caused that.

33:10

So, you know, even kids, right?

33:12

Kids are very brutal growing up.

33:15

talks about that in the in in the book. So

33:17

the reason why kids are

33:17

so brutal is no one's

33:20

taught them how to lie. Well, I don't

33:22

so when you when you ask,

33:22

when you ask a three or four

33:24

year old, um, hey, am I fat?

33:26

And they say, yeah, you're fat. It's not that

33:28

they're being mean. It's just that no one's

33:30

taught them to embellish.

33:33

No one's taught them to lie. So you're getting the truth and

33:35

sometimes believe it or not.

33:40

We need to we actually need

33:40

to tell the truth I mean the

33:44

funny thing is you're talking about that woman having low self esteem that guy might have

33:46

low self esteem Because the

33:49

thing is though he's trying to

33:49

find himself in One two, three,

33:53

four, five, six, seven women

33:53

and the thing is you gotta

33:55

understand if he's sleeping with

33:55

five or three Four women at a

33:59

time and he still feels empty.

34:02

It's not the women who are the problem. He might be the problem

34:05

Okay, all right. Let me, let me, let

34:08

me counteract that. What have you already

34:09

told me that I don't know?

34:11

I don't, I never read the book, but what have you already told him what he wants?

34:14

You know what? That's the same thing. I don't care if he tells them

34:16

The problem you gotta understand

34:19

is, if you're, the whole goal

34:19

is, if you're gonna try to

34:22

find a mate, you're gonna try

34:22

to find your soulmate, you're

34:25

gonna try to find your partner, but what if, they

34:26

don't want that? you know what, if they don't

34:27

want that, that's fine, then

34:30

he's gonna keep looking. But the funny thing is, if

34:31

you're looking for one person,

34:34

and you wanna be with that one

34:34

person, you're not gonna sleep

34:36

with five or six different women right, that's if

34:38

you're looking for If that's you're looking

34:39

if you're if you're looking for your person You're not

34:41

going to sleep with five

34:43

or six different women Well, that's the big if if

34:44

i'm looking for one person.

34:48

Sometimes you're looking

34:48

for multiple people to

34:51

make a whole person. And you know what that might be

34:53

the case But at the end of the

34:55

day if you're that narcissistic

34:55

that you're looking for this

34:58

person this you're this you're

34:58

this you're this You got to find

35:00

out all people aren't perfect. And you pick whatever long

35:02

person that you want to be with.

35:05

Because like you say, everybody

35:05

does, everybody's not perfect.

35:08

So you pick their imperfections

35:08

and you say, well, this

35:11

time I can deal with for the rest of my life. And if it is, then

35:14

you stick with them. If not, you go on

35:15

about your business. yeah, you know what?

35:18

I'm a hardcore guy. I'm this way or that way.

35:21

If you can't, if you can't

35:21

take my personality, I'm

35:24

cool with taking my, you

35:24

can't take my personality.

35:26

That's cool. You don't have to hang out with me. that's what the girl was saying.

35:30

What we said is that person

35:30

was already playing with you.

35:36

And then you went back to

35:36

that joker knowing that he was

35:40

playing with you, but he's not

35:40

going to stop playing with you.

35:43

He thinks you're dumb enough to

35:43

come back when he was playing

35:47

with you, but it doesn't

35:47

apply to every relationship.

35:49

It applies to the ones where they were playing around with you.

35:52

Well, you gotta understand too,

35:52

that guy, that guy, that guy

35:54

could be, he could be really

35:54

good at playing her heart.

35:58

And he could be, you know, he

35:58

could say the right things and

36:01

do the right things where he

36:01

could say, Hey, this is a, I

36:04

mean, I think you're special. I think you're this,

36:05

you're this, but you keep sleeping with other people.

36:07

I think I got to step away. All right. You step away, but you start

36:09

missing that person and you

36:11

think he's going to change. It doesn't mean you're a You miss that person and you

36:13

miss what they do to you.

36:16

Sometimes you got to be

36:16

committed to the breakup period.

36:21

We know, we know there's

36:21

certain, you know, if we know

36:25

how to break up went down,

36:25

it wasn't like if it wasn't

36:28

a mutual head, let's just

36:28

take a break and we'll come

36:31

back and see how this goes. If it was one of those breakups

36:33

where it's like, yeah, we

36:35

need to stay broken up. And you get those urges

36:37

to go back, you have to be

36:39

committed to the breakup, just like you tried to be committed to that relationship.

36:43

Yep. That's the tough damn part. and that's where

36:44

the pain comes in. It's a grieving process

36:46

that takes place when you break up with somebody.

36:49

Look, I always said

36:49

this, once the heart

36:52

gets involved, game over.

36:55

When you break up with that person and the heart is tangled up, a

36:57

healing, there's a grieving

37:00

process that takes place. is, sometimes it never heals.

37:04

And that's the thing you got to understand. That's the thing

37:06

you got to take. And it's horrible. This is a good show.

37:10

I really enjoyed it. Any last thoughts?

37:14

Let's start with Lee. He was quiet. don't have any

37:16

last thoughts, man. I don't, I can't think

37:18

of anything right now. Um, but I definitely

37:20

enjoyed the conversation.

37:23

Um, everybody's

37:23

different perspectives.

37:25

Yeah, I accept

37:25

everybody's opinion.

37:29

Yeah, I like it. We that's what we talked

37:31

about diversity of thought.

37:33

We don't all have to agree, but

37:33

I think we all have different

37:36

perspectives and it works. Yeah,

37:40

my parting last words.

37:44

You know, enjoy the beauty of being human. No, stop, stop.

37:48

We are not AI. We are not machines.

37:51

Learn to give yourself grace. We make mistakes.

37:53

No one's perfect. And sometimes we're good.

37:55

Look, sometimes we've got

37:55

a lot of rods in the fire.

37:57

We're juggling a lot of balls and sometimes you're going to drop a ball and

37:59

you might, you know, Rob,

38:01

one ride might get too high. We need to drop that shit.

38:04

It's okay. It's part of being human.

38:06

So accept your humanity. That's what I'm saying.

38:12

Reverend Roosevelt, Didn't he go to sleep?

38:15

like he froze. He froze on us. He went to sleep.

38:19

sleep doing church. No, the image is frozen.

38:24

Nobody to nudge him. the church mother at

38:27

when you need her? Where the church mother at?

38:30

Wake up, boy. yo. Oh! You've been listening to

38:32

girl talk with the boys.

38:35

We hope that you enjoyed

38:35

this episode Please follow

38:40

us on youtube like and share

38:40

um, and as always We see

38:47

you because we are you we'll

38:47

see you next time on girl.

38:52

Talk with the boys