This podcast was recorded in early May 2023 with Emma Spearing who is an Actor and Writer based in Cambridgeshire. Emma has lived in various places across the UK as well as travelled for a few years in Asia but she’s originally from Essex.

I met Emma purely coincidentally whilst working on a shoot in Cambridge. Well actually my good friend and photographer extraordinaire Neil Hepworth met her and talked about this podcast with her, and she told us both about her own journey of loss. Emma lost her identical twin sister Charlie to cancer 9 years ago and she talked about her unique experience of losing someone that is essentially a part of you, a mirror image, literally a soul mate and someone that she was inseparable from for most of her childhood.

I had a bit of cold so apologies for the sniffing and gurgles

I was really struck by how I’d never considered how close a bond twins would have, especially identical twins. I don’t want to spoil what is said about that here but what Emma said was really quite profound, and eye opening too. She covers what it was like growing up as a twin and how different milestones affected them and how they supported each. Importantly she talks about what it was like to care for her at the end and how she processed and continues to process the loss of her. Emma talks about how other people cared for her in the immediate aftermath of the loss of Charlie quite beautifully. What worked for her and what didn’t. It’ll probably not be surprising to most listeners that the things that helped were small and considered. She also addresses the thing that I keep on bringing up, building tradition and experiences around grief. The conversation gets quite emotional when we talk about her then 18 month old daughter saying goodbye to her mother.

Since Charlie’s death Emma has since written a play about her experience of the loss of her sister called WHOLE (WHOLE) which she has toured in the past, and I believe will be touring again which we talk about in the podcast. The purpose of which, much like this podcast, is to help those that are grieving. 

This episode ends not with a wrap up from me but a song beautifully written and sung by Charlie herself.

When we recorded the podcast we discovered that we had both travelled India but what was almost freaky was that we stayed at the very same guesthouse in Bagsu called (I think) Sky Pie. Or Pie in The Sky. Anyway, it was our first discovery of Banoffee Pie and what a transformative experience that was. 

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