0:10

Welcome to GPPD podcast . I'm your host

0:12

, nate . I'm a lateral transfer officer

0:14

and I'm currently assigned to the investigations bureau

0:16

.

0:17

And I'm your co-host KD . I'm also

0:19

a lateral officer and I'm assigned to the crime prevention

0:21

unit . We're always looking for

0:24

great men and women for

0:26

the police department , but also we need dispatchers

0:28

, animal control , code enforcement officers

0:30

and detention officers . So if you

0:32

know anybody interested , please , please , send

0:35

them to grandpurepoliceorg

0:37

. Get that information filled out so that

0:39

you can apply .

0:40

Don't forget to find us on social media

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. We have Facebook , Instagram , TikTok

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and YouTube and , most importantly

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, find us on your favorite podcast

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platform . Subscribe , activate

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notifications . Leave us a five star review . Today

0:53

you will hear from police officers , their lives

0:55

and their stories . The accounts may be mature

0:57

in nature and mature language may be used . Listener

1:00

discretion is advised .

1:02

And welcome back to another episode GP

1:04

podcast . Gppd

1:06

podcast . It's the same difference . It's

1:08

your first couple of times .

1:09

Yeah , it's my first time . Yeah , it's

1:11

my first time .

1:13

All right . So I'm here with Nate

1:15

and we got Dylan

1:17

here with us today , so

1:20

we're going to get into some crazy stuff , I

1:22

can assure you , because we've already been talking . Also

1:25

, we are hiring . We need detention

1:27

staff , we need communication staff . So

1:29

if you're interested , interested in 911

1:32

dispatchers or

1:34

working in the jail , please log on

1:37

. Pay scale is on there

1:39

, the requirements on there , all of

1:41

that good stuff .

1:42

So I feel like I just rambled Now

1:45

if you're not sure , if you're interested in one of

1:47

those things , we also have past episodes we've

1:49

done with people that fill those positions you come

1:51

to . Oh yeah , Can I get an idea from them ?

1:53

Yeah , check it out . Okay

1:55

. So I don't

1:57

know a whole lot about Mr Dylan . So

1:59

, man , I'm going to throw a whole bunch of questions at

2:01

you , but I appreciate you coming on . So

2:03

let me know , how

2:06

did you get started in police work ?

2:08

Just police work in general . Yeah

2:10

, are you a lateral ? I'm not a lateral

2:12

with basic . I came right out of college . Police

2:16

work was not the . It

2:19

wasn't like you know .

2:20

I was born and I was like running around

2:22

in the police uniform and costumes

2:24

.

2:26

It was part of like I wanted a job . I knew

2:28

I wanted to do first responders something . Oh

2:30

, okay , like

2:33

in high school I

2:35

was . So I'm from New Hampshire and

2:38

grew up in New Hampshire Geez

2:40

, I was looking at like a volunteer

2:42

fire department just to fill my time with something

2:44

to do . Yeah , because my mom was dating

2:46

somebody who was a firefighter and that

2:49

just seemed fun . The pager

2:51

thing it was just like Like

2:54

a pager . Like you know , volunteer firefighters they'll

2:56

have a pager and so they don't have a radio . If

2:59

something goes off , they'll page them . So

3:02

you go to the fire station and all that

3:04

good stuff . You were aging yourself .

3:06

I'm like damn yeah , I thought you were a lot younger than me . I'm

3:10

a lot younger than you .

3:12

I don't know about you , but definitely me . So

3:14

the first responder thing was like interesting

3:17

to me , I guess being

3:19

nosy , knowing what was going on that

3:22

makes so much sense , guys .

3:23

I know him a little better than you do , but that makes complete sense

3:25

. You just like to know what's going on , right ?

3:30

And then so the first responder or being a firefighter , I just didn't know so

3:32

, and I was almost always

3:34

doing things

3:36

on my own . I

3:39

wasn't like an abandoned child or anything . But you

3:42

know , my mom's single mom worked by you know a lot

3:44

under her own business , so we just

3:46

there's a lot of like navigating

3:48

on my own . And so what happened is I went to college

3:51

my freshman year in New Hampshire

3:53

. That didn't pan

3:55

out . My dad lives here in Texas , so

3:57

I moved here to Texas , went

4:01

to school , went for

4:04

criminal justice , which was

4:06

just like a catch all blanket . Maybe

4:08

thought it would be easy to do . Honestly , I

4:10

was told to do that if you wanted a party , well

4:14

, I went to a Baptist school , so

4:16

there wasn't much partying Jesus In that sense

4:18

. But yeah , disagree , well

4:20

, okay so the

4:23

partying at the Baptist school looked different than the school

4:25

I went to in New Hampshire . Okay , so

4:28

one thing led to another

4:31

. My uncle actually works here . He's

4:33

been here for like 30 years . Roy

4:35

, here in Texas , the department Okay

4:37

, but I didn't grow up knowing

4:40

him .

4:40

Okay .

4:41

So I

4:43

ended up going

4:47

through the criminal justice program and that school

4:49

actually had a collegiate

4:52

like the . They call it the law enforcement

4:54

academic alternative program . It's

4:56

a mouthful .

4:58

Okay .

4:59

But what it is is a college can get licensed by

5:01

TECO to teach students

5:03

and license them as Texas

5:05

peace officers .

5:06

No kidding .

5:08

So you're going through the academy , but

5:10

in a two-year span over your coursework

5:13

, oh , okay . So , for example , it's

5:15

almost like an .

5:15

ROTC type program for the military Kind

5:18

of .

5:18

But you're legit being licensed . So

5:21

every class you took I

5:23

went through the whole academy in college

5:26

. So I got TASED , I got pepper

5:28

sprayed , I got driving instruction

5:30

, shooting instruction .

5:31

Wait , wait . And

5:33

what college is this ?

5:35

So this is available in Texas . This is

5:37

an option that colleges can offer . I

5:39

went to East Texas Baptist University , etbu

5:42

Okay , out in Marshall , and

5:45

there was an instructor that I was very passionate about getting

5:47

law enforcement into the educational

5:49

system so that kids

5:51

can have a track into law enforcement instead

5:53

of just like oh , I want a job

5:55

.

5:56

Yeah .

5:56

Right . So it's a foster this

5:58

and allow you to arrive at the

6:00

job fully prepared . And so

6:02

over the last two years of my

6:05

degree there , I'm

6:07

starting to get licensed and

6:09

by the time I graduate , I

6:12

have all my hours and

6:14

I'm

6:19

now like what do I do ? Where do I go ?

6:21

Excuse me , were you licensed at the time ?

6:24

I was not licensed because I had not taken the

6:26

test , oh gotcha . But I had all

6:28

the course training leading up to the test

6:31

. So basically I

6:33

would have to find an agency to

6:35

pick up a commission and

6:38

then they would like I would take the

6:40

test and then they would hire me . Okay , if

6:43

I was to go to like Marshall PD that's what I was

6:45

going to say or Tyler PD , maybe

6:48

some of these smaller PDs , that

6:50

would happen . But then

6:52

I in college worked

6:54

at a bed

6:56

and breakfast . It's no longer there . I

7:00

was a waiter and

7:02

thank

7:04

you . One day somebody

7:07

came in and it was a

7:10

at the time obviously I didn't know it was

7:12

a retired

7:15

grand prairie officer . It

7:18

was a retired grand prairie sergeant , allen

7:21

Patton . I don't know if any of you know him

7:24

, but he was pretty

7:26

. I don't know if influential is aware

7:28

, but a lot of people know him . He was of

7:31

the older group

7:34

of people that are no longer here anymore . But

7:37

he came in with his wife . I'm waiting on him . He's asked

7:39

me about school , what I'm doing

7:41

, getting to know each other , which is odd

7:44

because it's not the place where you normally talk to your waiter

7:46

about that stuff , but we just hit it off . Well

7:48

, that's kind of weird for cops , right ? So

7:51

? And he's all the way out here in the middle of nowhere . So

7:53

I'm talking to him and

7:55

when I say that

7:57

I'm getting an law enforcement , he asked

7:59

me where ? And I said well , because at

8:01

this time I started looking into

8:03

grand prairie . I didn't look into anywhere else

8:05

, I kind of just decided grand prairie . Was it how my

8:08

uncle Right . So he just

8:10

kept saying you know , hey , grand prairie , grand prairie . Funny

8:13

enough , my instructor in college was like you don't want to go

8:15

to grand prairie Really , Because

8:17

he was of a way different , like

8:19

he was probably 70 . So

8:22

he knew grand prairie in a different way . Okay

8:24

, you tell that instructor when you say

8:26

well , I don't know if he's around anymore .

8:28

Oh yeah , I'm just , I'm just

8:30

playing .

8:30

But right , so he was . He had a different

8:33

opinion and

8:36

so he was like maybe

8:38

you look at other places . My

8:41

uncle was saying come to grand prairie . So I

8:43

was like yeah , I'll look into .

8:44

You have a family on other , on Dallas

8:47

as well . Was there like a competing narrative I

8:49

had ?

8:50

no idea who the other I do . Oh

8:52

, okay , joe was in

8:54

for work for Dallas PD , but I

8:57

didn't really ever know him . Oh yeah

8:59

, I knew Roy a little bit better but again didn't really

9:01

know him much at the time . But

9:04

he dropped . That , you know , put that bug in my ear . I

9:07

start the process . And so

9:09

all this to say I'm

9:11

talking to Alan Patton and like

9:13

well , I'm looking in the grand prairie and he just goes

9:16

. He like drops his head and he goes . Are

9:18

you kidding me ? And

9:20

I'm like what ? You

9:23

know cause my instructor was like don't go there

9:25

.

9:25

So I was like what is ?

9:26

wrong with where you're at the time we're at

9:28

.

9:28

Stillwater in Jefferson , Texas , which is

9:30

right up the road from where I was .

9:32

How far away is that from ?

9:33

here , this is East Texas , this is almost

9:35

the border of Texas and Louisiana yeah

9:38

, three hours . And so he goes . He

9:40

reaches into his wallet and he takes out his wallet

9:42

and it's his badge and he goes . I'm

9:45

retired from there . He

9:47

goes what a God moment , Like he's

9:49

, like this is insane , it's blowing his mind . He's

9:52

like looking over his wife and his wife's like mount

9:54

to the floor . And so

9:56

from that point I really think like it

10:01

was pretty clear .

10:02

I mean .

10:02

I didn't apply to anywhere else . I

10:04

was hopeful to get the job .

10:06

I mean .

10:06

I'm right out of college , I don't know what to

10:08

expect , so

10:12

he's like I'm going to put in . He has

10:14

no idea who I am Not

10:16

a clue , never met him before , and

10:19

he goes . Well , I'm going to put in a good word for you .

10:21

Oh , that was okay , got you .

10:23

And he put in , I guess , a good enough word to

10:25

where I at least get the

10:27

opportunity to come and do the oral boards

10:29

. And then

10:31

you know , it just was one

10:34

thing after the next .

10:36

But I could see it and I understand it , because

10:38

offices we are a pretty good read of

10:40

character and it don't take us long . I

10:42

could talk to you about two minutes and go yeah , this

10:45

is somebody I can deal with and now you

10:47

need to . You know , kick rocks .

10:50

I'm assuming I gave him a good impression , probably

10:54

helped that he knew my uncle , who also

10:56

worked here . You know they spent a lot of time together

10:59

back when they were in the midst of their career .

11:01

That's a weird small world , very small

11:03

.

11:03

So I was , you know , for me that's how that happened

11:05

. Like law enforcement wasn't initially what

11:09

I wanted to do . I kind of was in this funnel , right

11:11

. I was like I have no idea , I just want to , I guess , graduate

11:13

college because that's what we're supposed to do . I

11:17

moved from New Hampshire , where I grew up , down

11:19

to here and I'm , you know , going

11:21

through my personal stuff with you know

11:23

, with my dad , and things like that . I

11:25

come , finish school and things

11:29

. The funnel starts getting closer , you know , and

11:32

then the focus just was it was pretty clear at that

11:34

point .

11:34

Yeah , so I want

11:36

to go back because I want to go up to New

11:39

Hampshire and do like some hunting . How

11:42

like this got to be a drastic change

11:44

? Like you go to zero degrees or

11:46

you want to hunt this why I'm like

11:49

what are we hunting ? Oh yeah , animals

11:51

.

11:51

Okay , I

11:54

thought you meant like why I'm from New Hampshire

11:56

or something .

11:57

I guess I was like yeah , like

12:00

because , like of all it occurs to me .

12:02

I will talk about it in a second . But first of all , is there hunting in New

12:04

Hampshire ? Yeah , In my mind it's all like just

12:06

city . No , it's a lot of woods . It's

12:08

a lot of woods , bro .

12:09

Yeah , very , very rural parts . You

12:12

need to get out where somebody is smart

12:14

as you , come on , read a book .

12:17

I appreciate it , but

12:19

yeah , so yeah , I'll hold it hanging

12:22

out and talking . We've done . I don't think

12:25

I know exactly why you

12:27

were in New Hampshire Like yeah , well

12:29

so

12:31

there's a lot

12:33

to my life Like that just

12:36

is what it is .

12:37

Right , my

12:39

life is perfect no one's is , but there's just

12:41

a lot of . I know you're pretty perfect . Yeah

12:43

, there's just a lot of perfect people here in Green Prairie .

12:46

But just ask them .

12:49

So my I was born in Georgia

12:51

. As

12:55

I don't ever remember living there , I

12:57

think I was one , one and a half . My

12:59

mom moved to New Hampshire so

13:02

my mom was single and

13:04

I was raised in New Hampshire . So

13:06

there was a lot of like

13:10

my family was me , my mom and my brother , and

13:13

then like she had a husband and that

13:16

you know she had several husbands and stuff like

13:18

that , but she was a business owner . Yeah , no

13:24

love to me , but no , it's it . Her

13:26

relationships are up and down . We were

13:28

, you know , dragged here and there . I think it

13:30

honestly . I , not too long

13:32

ago , look back , and we moved like upwards

13:35

of 1617 times .

13:37

Oh wow , she's not military .

13:39

So , yeah , we moved around

13:41

, so things were stable , and then they

13:43

weren't right and then so no

13:47

fault of her own , she just had to do it

13:50

. She had to do and she was a business owner and she

13:52

tried all the things , and so

13:54

that I have a lot of exposure to different

13:57

, I guess

13:59

, echelons of life

14:01

which

14:04

you know bring

14:06

it back to police is 100% is

14:08

why I'm supposed to

14:10

be doing this job as

14:12

a police officer . Like there's

14:16

a lot of different officers , but I think you know really

14:18

good ones do have experience

14:20

outside , like the hardships , the

14:22

things like that . So

14:25

yeah , new Hampshire , that's . I was where I was

14:27

raised and then I

14:31

moved to Texas because my dad lived in Texas

14:34

, so he was military

14:36

and I think that's

14:38

where my mom met him Right

14:40

. So he , his family's from here , so yeah

14:42

.

14:45

So I'm glad he didn't give us that . Oh

14:47

, I knew I wanted to be a police officer .

14:49

I was four years old and some people

14:51

it's like that . I mean I

14:53

knew I wanted to like run

14:56

around and just be like again the nosy

14:59

person and like what's it doing . I was like , well

15:01

, what's going on ? You know the rubber-neckers and it's like

15:03

, you know , we all want to know what's going on , you

15:05

know you will pass an accent like I want to pull over .

15:08

I want to know in every detail . Find out their name , what

15:10

is ?

15:10

like what is it why ?

15:11

You know , right .

15:13

So I just knew , like a

15:15

first , like a serve , more of a service oriented

15:18

person . And so I'm

15:21

glad it ended up in law enforcement . But

15:24

yeah , I didn't . It

15:27

wasn't like what do you want to be ? And I'm like a cop . And then

15:29

, like you know , I don't have a history of police

15:32

. Well , other than my uncle , I do have a

15:34

family that are

15:36

police officers , but I didn't know until I was already well on my

15:38

way into being a cop . Okay

15:40

, and I didn't grow up with knowing

15:42

my dad's side of the family

15:44

, so my uncle that worked here

15:47

.

15:47

You know I didn't grow up with him or

15:49

knowing him . The other one is is dad's side ?

15:51

as well ? Yeah , that makes sense . Yeah , so

15:55

you mentioned you had a have a brother

15:57

, so your family

15:59

? Now are they like on board

16:01

with ? No , we're glad you're a police officer

16:04

, because I always ask , because my dad still

16:06

asked me to this day . You like doing that job

16:08

? Okay , I've been doing it for a while .

16:11

Yeah , so again my family

16:13

. As I get older I feel

16:15

like there's another sibling that gets add to the mix

16:17

. My closer

16:19

, closer . So my

16:23

, I have a full

16:26

brother . Okay , same mom and dad . When

16:28

I was in sixth grade I met my sister

16:31

on my mom's side .

16:33

Okay .

16:34

I'm like I'm gonna learn something I forgot .

16:36

Yeah , so mom had a

16:38

. I have a sister on

16:40

my mom's side . And

16:42

then when I , and then my dad

16:44

when he started coming around I didn't

16:46

meet him till I was older he

16:50

had ended up having three kids of his own

16:52

, and then , within the last three

16:54

years , I've learned that I have another

16:56

sister on my dad's side .

16:58

What .

16:59

Yeah , so we get , we got , I got siblings .

17:02

Papa was did your dad just find out that you

17:04

also had a son ? Yeah , he

17:06

knew but like he didn't know her .

17:11

She never was around . That's crazy .

17:15

So he was checking all the military stereotypes ? Yep

17:18

, yeah .

17:22

I'm not . You know . There's nothing to be ashamed of with

17:24

that . There's no way that I

17:26

should be . No , it's not my life

17:28

.

17:31

If you dug into anybody's family , I can tell you something here and you

17:33

go holy Katie , I never knew .

17:35

Like with all that , to say like my core , my core

17:37

family growing up was my mom and my

17:39

brother .

17:40

Right .

17:41

But then as you get older and life starts

17:43

to happen and people again get

17:45

curious , I feel like my mom . I probably got the curiosity

17:47

from my mom because she's a pretty curious person

17:50

, but she

17:54

, she's very supportive .

17:56

Yeah .

17:59

Of everything . Yeah

18:01

, and my dad we don't talk

18:03

anymore . I

18:05

don't have a relationship with him , yeah

18:07

, and that's for different reasons . I

18:13

don't know where to start with that . There's

18:16

just a lot to that .

18:17

But good , I was

18:19

going to ask do you feel like because one

18:21

of the things we always preach as far as getting

18:24

into this profession is support system

18:26

Obviously

18:28

you're lacking some of that , so

18:30

have you ? Do you feel

18:33

like that has caused more hurdles for you when

18:35

, especially in the beginning because you've been doing this for several

18:37

years now , but in the beginning you

18:39

know you didn't have the

18:42

expanded network of families

18:44

like a lot of people do ? Was

18:46

that harder whenever you would come up on issues and

18:49

police work as you're adjusting to the last hour , or

18:51

no ?

18:52

I think I had been going through life

18:54

with such a limited support system at

18:57

that point already that I

18:59

had come up with my own

19:01

way to handle

19:03

that , and by and what

19:05

that looked like was , you

19:10

know , people fall back on their support system , which

19:12

traditionally , I suppose , is their family

19:14

. I became

19:17

really good at fostering friendships

19:19

with people and then the friends

19:21

became family . So

19:23

wherever I went and wherever I go

19:25

, it

19:27

usually involves , you know , creating

19:29

some type of circle of people , and

19:33

sometimes people have just that one good best friend

19:35

I've always operated on

19:38

. You know , it doesn't hurt to have many

19:40

, and that's how I've had to kind

19:42

of be , and so that that would

19:44

be my . What I ended up falling

19:46

back on is is friends .

19:49

Do you find you have most of law enforcement or do you

19:51

kind of do you think it's ?

19:53

important . When I first started this job , I only

19:55

had caught friends Right Over

19:58

the years . That's since changed . Only because

20:00

you know , you start to realize like , as

20:03

important and fun

20:05

as this job is , it's not my entire

20:07

being right

20:09

and so it's

20:11

very like it would be very easy to get caught

20:13

up in working the overtime , proving

20:17

doing different , like

20:21

units programs

20:25

, honor guard , like all these things that you can just make

20:28

yourself busy to help , you know , make you feel

20:31

prideful , and that's all good stuff . But I've

20:34

since taken a step back , just of

20:36

. I prioritize work and

20:38

, you know , be the professional . I am here

20:40

but have to also live outside

20:42

, and that's the challenge and finding that

20:44

balance .

20:46

You have to because I'm a touch on a point . So

20:48

a lot of times we come in

20:50

and we'll go , okay , so let me work patrol

20:52

for a few years . And

20:55

then you say , okay , well , let me join this specialized

20:57

unit . And so what people , especially

20:59

outside listeners , you need to know that you

21:02

can have your 40 hours a week job

21:04

and then you're going to have another specialized unit

21:06

and next thing , you know , no , I'm going to hang out with these officer

21:10

friends , quote unquote and

21:12

your whole life is then , you know , surrounded

21:15

by police Police Police . The

21:18

extra jobs alone , especially here , Holy crap

21:20

. You can log on right now and I guarantee

21:22

there's 50 jobs holding

21:24

just waiting on somebody to take them Right you

21:27

know , and I'm with you , you got to do something different

21:30

.

21:30

And I've found , though , that , while

21:32

there's maybe nothing wrong

21:34

with that inherently having just

21:36

cop friends , because those are people

21:38

that understand you , they understand

21:40

when you say , yeah

21:42

, we have this crazy foot pursue and like

21:45

they legitimately get the adrenaline

21:47

spike . You know , they get the why

21:49

it's exciting . You know , some people are like cool

21:52

, you found like crack

21:55

or you found a gun under someone's seat , like

21:58

good job . You know , but like some

22:01

of those things are , what aren't fun

22:03

to other people are fun to cop , so you

22:05

want to still have those relationships , for sure , where

22:09

the problem I've seen is

22:11

that you

22:14

start to isolate people , maybe that you were friends with

22:16

, and then you lose relationships that were important

22:18

because you're like , well , you just don't get

22:20

it , so let me just

22:22

stay over here . And then sometimes

22:24

that can just escalate into just like because

22:26

you stay into that comfortable , stressful

22:29

place that we all like to like

22:31

the place of chaos , which

22:33

I think some of us like to

22:36

be in because that's how we operate best . Yeah

22:38

.

22:40

I think it . You

22:42

know , because , like because policing , obviously we're

22:44

, we're made up of the community , we're diverse

22:47

, and if you listen to the podcast , all you know

22:50

it's surprising the diverse

22:52

backgrounds that a lot of people come from . But

22:55

once you get in this profession , I think you're

22:57

, you're molded in . Your world view is shaped

22:59

so much by our

23:01

experiences being cops that we

23:03

evolve and want to becoming

23:06

more and more similar than

23:08

we'd start out . And so

23:10

then you're , you're only have this one worldview

23:13

, this one perspective on things and sometimes

23:15

, just given what we do with a lot of times

23:17

that's negative . So I think it's super

23:19

important to have civilian friends , because

23:22

it it's it pulls you out a little

23:24

bit of kind of that back to yeah , right

23:26

it ? just like you know I can't

23:28

, you know , don't want to go down and check the mail without

23:30

a gun on you , right .

23:32

And it's like the other civilian friends like where do you ?

23:35

you're like that's a little paranoid

23:37

and like worst case scenario .

23:39

right , we operate on worst case scenario and

23:41

I'm glad you brought that up , because a

23:44

week ago I was talking about that exact same thing

23:46

with somebody and I

23:48

brought up the fact that and it didn't take long

23:50

what I realized , and you

23:53

don't see it coming . And I'm not saying

23:55

that this is a bad thing , right . Like the mailbox

23:57

, ambush or the right . No

24:00

, I'm talking about the actual change of people

24:02

in law enforcement and I'm sure it happens

24:04

in in , you know , the fire

24:06

world and and paramedics and things like that

24:08

. But obviously we're cops so it's easier to bond

24:11

over napping a full

24:13

belly and a nap the

24:15

. I had a family

24:17

member say

24:19

shortly after

24:22

I graduated and hit the street after FTO

24:24

and

24:26

I went back to visit family and they were like and she

24:28

said , man , you're different

24:30

. And I looked at her and I was

24:32

like what do you mean ? Because I don't

24:34

feel different , I feel great . I probably was in

24:36

felt the greatest I've ever felt my

24:38

entire life , physically pumped

24:42

. I have this job right . But she goes you're

24:44

different , you changed . Being a

24:46

cop changed you . I'm like what do you mean ? I

24:50

didn't understand at the time and

24:52

I don't think she meant it in a bad way , but she

24:54

saw what may have been

24:57

this happy

24:59

go lucky , foolish

25:02

person , maybe more restraint

25:04

, right . And

25:07

seven and a half years later I'm

25:09

kind of looking back at that moment and I'm like , let's

25:13

, that is wild , because I'm now realizing

25:15

, yeah , I have changed , yeah , not

25:18

in a bad way , but it's . It's crazy

25:20

to ignore the fact that , like

25:22

you said , our

25:27

experiences kind of slowly

25:29

over time , make you a

25:31

little bit more paranoid , just

25:34

in the way of like bringing a gun to the mailbox

25:37

. I'm not that paranoid . I

25:39

think you're the only person here

25:41

that no it was a theory , okay . Now

25:44

, I've seen it , but I think

25:46

it's important to notice that it's not something to

25:48

be afraid of . But when you have

25:50

people outside your circle to call you

25:52

on certain things , if you have

25:55

changed is important because if you're

25:57

with people that get each other , you're

25:59

gonna see each other , as You're not

26:01

gonna see that person's change because you're like what do you mean ? We're

26:04

all kind of the same mentality , so what

26:06

?

26:06

even if you don't , even if it's not a Relationship

26:08

that says direct is calling you out per se

26:11

.

26:11

Sure , just Seeing that , just

26:13

seeing the way normal people act and

26:16

and being like hey , these are my friends instead

26:18

of oh yeah , that's a , that's dumb ass

26:20

and it's refreshing not to like

26:22

I know that you work in CID and

26:24

you have your own caseload and things that you

26:26

you attack in the city and things like

26:28

that but it's

26:31

refreshing not to have to go and go

26:33

to hang out with like we hang out on the weekends

26:36

and things like that , and we're not

26:38

gonna be talking about the car chase

26:40

sometimes why we hang out weekends

26:42

. I would hang out with you because , we

26:45

talked about work at work a lot yeah

26:47

and , as you know

26:49

, when you go home you have a caseload

26:51

still . But To

26:54

have to talk about the suspect , I mean come

26:56

on , it's like not going , getting off

26:58

of work .

26:59

You might as well just say people love that

27:01

and that's okay , but I , because I used

27:03

to be that way .

27:03

I .

27:04

Used to be that way . First on the first right years and

27:06

it .

27:07

and then it became yeah , I'll

27:09

give you five minutes . Five

27:11

minutes , good to see you . What's new ? Oh , that's crazy

27:14

, that was wild . All right , what else we're doing ?

27:16

So you walk up like you're not gonna believe

27:18

with this Argentine I was like okay

27:20

.

27:21

I'll listen to that one , but yeah , you have

27:23

five minutes .

27:23

Yeah , it's where the nose comes out . Yeah , yeah , okay

27:25

.

27:26

What , what more ? That would start it . So

27:29

I think , though , in terms like

27:31

you know , relating it to police work , the

27:33

Going back to the support system

27:36

and the people that who are not cops , like those

27:39

, are important things to realize . Yeah , so , if somebody's

27:41

watching this or listening to it and it's like you

27:44

know what is it like to be a cop , or what do you ? What

27:46

do you ? Because I think you've asked other people

27:48

like what were to this , meet your expectations

27:51

or what did you expect ? Is this everything

27:53

you've expected ? And I don't , I

27:55

don't know . No matter what the topic is , I don't think that's

27:57

a for me , that's

28:01

not a question that I I ever can answer

28:03

, because my expectations going into things

28:05

are like Very

28:07

low , mm-hmm , I think , just

28:09

because when I first got into this job , I

28:11

actually almost didn't stay here , really

28:14

like , and I don't know , as

28:16

if it was an expectation thing , but I almost quit

28:18

.

28:19

Like to go to an .

28:20

FTO , just in general

28:22

.

28:23

Oh , because

28:26

Maybe

28:28

I my expectations . Just I

28:30

didn't have one , and so I

28:33

think somebody previously had mentioned that

28:38

it

28:40

was intense like getting here being a

28:42

cop . You you

28:44

know and you hear and you see , mm-hmm

28:46

, what being a cop

28:48

could be like and when you're actually doing

28:50

it . Knowing and doing you're like two totally

28:52

different things . And so an FTO this

28:56

was right around the Dallas shootings , right

28:59

, which was heavily

29:01

like emphasized in the NMI Academy

29:04

, just for anybody not

29:06

familiar to the shootings

29:08

on July 7th no 16 . Yes

29:11

16 . Yeah , we're , five officers were

29:13

killed , yeah so

29:15

it was around that time

29:18

I was on nights . Never

29:20

had been like on the night shift of anything

29:22

and . That

29:25

never , no , I mean

29:27

. I mean I came right out of college like I started this

29:29

job when I was 22 . Not

29:32

to say I didn't have world experience . I definitely had plenty of

29:34

that , but in terms of Professional

29:36

and work Also

29:39

, and you

29:43

know , my jobs leading up to that was like service

29:45

Industry waiting tables

29:47

or I was on like working a ground screw . So you

29:50

know no , and when I

29:52

first got cut loose , I'm an FTO and like one of my

29:55

first calls is around New

29:58

years and it's like a shooting . His friend

30:00

shot him in the back and in the car , you

30:03

know . They had an argument over a cell phone and

30:05

I'm like are people really shooting

30:07

each other ? Like what

30:10

you didn't know before this job

30:12

and what you know now is like insane

30:14

and that's what it's a little bit of Innocence lost

30:16

, but it's it's nothing it . I

30:18

think it's made me a better person , but

30:21

in the time I was like I don't know . This

30:24

seems a little .

30:26

Much because like you go through

30:29

, like Grand Parade's a nice city . Like you drive

30:31

, you would never imagine that that things

30:33

and it's true , because I'll have people ask me

30:35

you know , is this a nice neighborhood or the drowsy neighborhood

30:38

? Hey , this neighborhood looks nice and I'm like you

30:40

have no idea what

30:42

happens inside the walls of all the houses

30:44

that around you . If you don't , if you're not staring at

30:46

the house when the squad car pulls up , is

30:48

there for 30 minutes to 45 minutes and leaves , you

30:52

have no idea . Someone could have gotten a rest , like there's

30:54

so many things that can happen right happen in

30:57

every single city in this country . Yeah , why ?

30:59

and I felt like it all happened pretty quickly

31:01

and I was tired , like

31:04

Night shift , 12-hour shifts

31:06

it's tough , yeah , but I've

31:09

become to like I prefer

31:11

the 12-hour shifts for sure , but

31:14

in the moment I'm like even

31:16

thinking .

31:18

Maybe I'll just go into the detention center .

31:20

You know right , just

31:22

because I'm like , do

31:24

I want to risk my

31:27

life ? And it just I guess it became a reality

31:29

. Yeah , and it's a , it's a point to like check

31:32

in . And I am very thankful

31:35

because at that time I Was

31:38

pulled from shift and

31:40

my direct supervisor on

31:44

the Jordan and Guiano he

31:47

, as Scary

31:49

and grumpy as he can look , I love

31:51

and be pulled

31:53

me and made it a point

31:55

to get me to then Lieutenant

31:59

Fleming , who was over our

32:01

shift and between the two , not

32:04

like the most , also right right

32:06

which . I think Was

32:09

perfect , because my it's

32:11

my perception I didn't . I still didn't

32:13

know what to expect . Even though I was going

32:16

through all these things , these two people

32:18

, who aren't the most cuddly people , made

32:21

it a point To

32:24

say you're gonna go home tonight . This

32:27

isn't because you're being punished , this

32:29

isn't because you can't do this job , you

32:32

just need to go home . And they gave me materials

32:34

to like just review and

32:36

help me this process . That what

32:40

is it gonna mean to be a cop ? And I'm

32:43

I , am I ready to put my life on

32:45

the line for people that I don't know ? Right

32:47

, yeah , and that

32:50

next day I came back and

32:52

I was like that was the start , right

32:54

, it wasn't like Over night

32:57

. I was like okay , nevermind , that

33:00

was crazy , but over , though , and

33:02

then I've had several people that along the way that

33:04

would check in and I thought

33:06

that was like the craziest

33:09

thing that's

33:11

people would want to pour that much into me

33:13

. And before I knew it , I

33:15

was working over time , right

33:18

, and Lieutenant Fleming was like I

33:20

Can't get you out of this place

33:22

, right , you know . So I Think

33:24

it's important to realize that , coming into this

33:26

job , you have one

33:28

expectation it

33:31

could change , and it

33:33

could . It could change your mind and you're like

33:35

you know what . This just isn't

33:37

for me . Yeah , but to have the people

33:40

and I think we're in praise till this exists

33:42

to where We'll help you figure out if

33:44

it's right or not . Yeah because it's not only for

33:46

your own safety , but the safety of the people that work here and

33:49

the people that you're serving , yeah , so .

33:51

Well , that's a benefit , I think , to the size of our department too

33:53

, because it's not the big city where it's just Okay

33:56

if you don't cut it or like that , just

33:58

a toxic FTO culture , where it's

34:00

like I say toxic , I mean it's just the way it used

34:02

to be , where it's like your goal is

34:04

to get rid of them and if they , you know , if

34:07

you survive me , then cool you get to be caught

34:09

about the streets , yeah .

34:10

Yeah you know that they if that was 15

34:13

years ago , I they were probably booted me out

34:15

the back door and said don't come back here , dude .

34:17

What are you doing , you know , or even a different city , like

34:19

one where you're just a number we don't have time for this .

34:21

Yeah , you know , and and so for that I'm thankful

34:24

that you know we Grand Prix I

34:26

mean that was seven and a half issue

34:28

, whatever years ago yeah

34:33

, that was a pretty big thing , yeah

34:36

, coming into cop work .

34:37

So my expectations Were

34:42

that I didn't have expectations

34:44

and a lot is learning , learning

34:47

along the way and yeah , well , I was

34:49

gonna say to probably what you brought up like , like

34:53

my personality , someone pulled me aside and

34:55

told me hey , yeah , whether I'm having doubts or whatever

34:57

the thing is , hey , you need to go home and think about

34:59

things , dude , I

35:01

would be in such a terrible place . I'm like hold

35:03

.

35:04

I had a lot of like mental

35:06

Well . The thing is , though , concerns

35:09

not mental concerns , like I was concerned about my mental

35:11

health , but I was like running through my head , like did

35:13

I just mess up ? Yeah , for sure .

35:15

But the thing is that's not a perfect experience

35:17

, like when you start your application

35:20

or FTO process . You never would have said I'm

35:22

probably going to get sent home at some point . For

35:24

you know , just to think things over whatever it is . But

35:27

just like I think we all have stories , especially from FTO

35:29

, where it just does not go

35:31

according to plan and I think that's a

35:34

big thing coming in is don't think you're going

35:36

to show up and everything is going to go great .

35:38

Right , this job is not natural .

35:40

It's not . No one , I don't think , is

35:42

wired to automatically be good

35:44

at the job . If you are , you're a psychopath

35:46

Like you should . Yeah , we should probably

35:49

send you back to the site it

35:51

should be out of the ordinary to live in a world

35:53

where you're going to just have to deal

35:55

with people and attain them and take away freedom

35:57

and deal with fights and shootings and stuff like that .

36:00

Well , from the very beginning , a

36:03

lot of the things that's told us in the academy and

36:05

almost from the get go is like

36:07

if you are a figure

36:09

that you've learned everything , that's

36:12

a dangerous spot to be in . Oh very . Because once

36:14

you stop learning , you

36:16

, you're done , yeah , like you can't

36:18

be in that .

36:19

Stay away from me , yeah .

36:21

Yeah . So that's

36:26

a long way of saying that's

36:28

how I got to Grand Prix .

36:31

I think every officer has had that experience

36:34

though . That's what like having

36:37

to be pulled aside and talked to

36:39

or given advice , or you know

36:41

. Hey , go home and think about it . It happened to

36:43

me and they were like Katie's

36:45

not putting people . It

36:47

was another officer pulled me to the side and he was

36:49

like hey , I know you come from somewhere else

36:51

, but let me tell you .

36:53

X , y , Z . Were you a lateral . Yeah , okay .

36:56

And I was like , oh , oh , because I remember

36:58

thinking man , everybody's going to jail but me . You

37:00

know I'm looking for . I'm looking for a crack with

37:03

a gun . He was like

37:05

you know , somebody has multiple warrants . You may

37:07

want to take them in . I'm looking

37:09

for something else .

37:11

And that's what's interesting

37:13

too , is , I mean , I started out as a basic , so

37:16

I had no previous law enforcement . If

37:18

I was to go which I'm not , but to go to a different

37:21

agency , if we had to , it

37:25

would be a whole different process , like

37:27

it wouldn't even compare to how I became a cop here

37:30

, right , because you already know . You're like look , you know what

37:32

you're looking for the guns , you're looking for this . And

37:35

so to the laterals who are trying to come to Grand

37:37

Prairie , there's I can't

37:39

speak to it , but I would imagine you

37:41

know you got to adopt the culture to

37:43

a degree here and and

37:45

um , well

37:47

and there's different standards because

37:50

, like where we came from , even report writing

37:52

is way different there than it is

37:54

here , and when I first got here I

37:56

try to do the very basic

37:59

bolts of yeah report and you've

38:01

read reports from where I'm from .

38:03

when you're in CID and see , you know what it's like

38:05

and you get here and you do that .

38:07

I've actually completed reports and whole cases

38:10

from other agencies , but we

38:12

won't .

38:14

But yeah , no , it's just being

38:16

willing to adapt to the small , because police work is

38:18

police work , but everywhere is going

38:20

to have different little things that they

38:22

do require and to be able to

38:24

say , hey , okay , cool

38:26

, I'm here now , this is what I'm adopting

38:29

. Your culture , that's huge , yeah , but

38:32

I don't want to keep harping on the same

38:34

thing . But so you

38:36

hired on , you go to patrol . You're

38:38

a little bit more unique from

38:40

what the outside perception is

38:42

of police work in

38:45

that you patrol , you go to CID

38:47

. Now you're back in patrol voluntarily

38:49

.

38:50

Right , let the record show it was voluntary

38:53

. So

38:55

you actually , to explain , talk about that

38:57

a little bit as far as going , to CID and then , yeah

38:59

, so I consider myself

39:01

lucky because there was a time in which

39:03

, like , there was this standards

39:06

where when you get on patrol , you

39:08

graduate out to FTO , you're

39:11

on probation , usually you're on

39:13

patrol for a good minute , usually

39:15

nights , five ish , six years

39:18

before you go anywhere else , right

39:21

, and

39:23

during that same time I'm on patrol

39:26

, I'm cut loose , already Loving

39:28

it . I'm on nights and

39:31

some

39:33

openings that started coming up and what

39:36

was told to me is , when you're interested in something

39:38

, at least put in your letter so

39:41

that people can see your name , show

39:45

your interest and you

39:48

know if you you're likely not going to get it , but

39:50

at least it shows that initiative

39:52

.

39:52

It gives you kind of a dry run on the process A

39:54

dry run .

39:55

Sure , it gets you knocked off the dust

39:57

and things like that . That's

40:00

what I did .

40:02

And it went well . It

40:04

didn't go as planned because

40:06

I didn't fully expect to get it Right

40:09

.

40:09

I had the interest in domestic crime , domestic

40:12

crimes . A couple of people had talked to me

40:14

about it , but I was like , sure I'll

40:16

put in a letter . I

40:19

did have interest , so why

40:21

not ? Yeah , and I was up

40:23

against me and another Dylan for

40:26

the spot . So while the property spot opened

40:28

up , so Dylan Sullivan

40:31

went over to property and I went . They

40:34

were like well , we need to fill this domestic spot .

40:36

My brain shows I don't know another Dylan , but yeah

40:38

, there's two others .

40:42

So at the time

40:44

, Sergeant Paulson goes

40:46

well , your interview

40:48

was good . I liked you . Do you

40:51

want this spot ? And I said , sure , Absolutely

40:54

. I mean because , even

40:57

though I wasn't expecting to get it , I still

40:59

wanted it . And so I

41:01

got the spot , and what

41:04

an adjustment that was .

41:09

You're just now kind of coming around to get adjusted to

41:11

the speed control stuff

41:13

. Now you're slowing down

41:15

going to domestics .

41:17

So , right , we're ramping up speed , we're on patrol

41:19

, running around having fun , and

41:22

I oftentimes you

41:24

find people that are leaving patrol

41:26

because they've had that

41:28

patrol fun , that

41:31

patrol experience , and maybe they're ready for something new

41:33

. There might

41:35

be some other people that just want to kind of get out of patrol

41:37

and for schedule reasons , and

41:39

they do have interests and investigations

41:43

. So I

41:45

wasn't necessarily itching

41:48

to get out of patrol . So

41:51

I go up to CID , have a

41:53

good time , like a trial by fire on some of these

41:55

things . You learn how to write warrants

41:57

and you start to review

41:59

other officers reports and

42:02

for me that was a little challenging

42:04

because I feel

42:06

like I'm this child

42:08

in a sense

42:11

right ? I'm a new officer and

42:13

I'm getting older

42:18

officers reports

42:20

and I'm

42:22

tasked with making those decisions of like follow

42:25

up questions . Why'd you do this

42:27

? Who are you ?

42:30

A new guy .

42:32

So that was sort of an adjustment but I found a way to

42:34

do it in a respectful way . There's no

42:36

reason that I need to come at you three different

42:39

ways and make you mad and all

42:41

this stuff . So I

42:45

did my two years . There's

42:47

a two year commitment to that and

42:52

, if I'm being honest , it's just I

42:55

learned so much and

42:57

I'm a better patrol officer for

42:59

it . I just was ready to

43:01

go back and get back into

43:03

the squad car Do

43:06

the , because with domestics it's

43:09

the officers who

43:11

are going out to these scenes who are almost the

43:13

like first and last person

43:15

that talks to those victims . So

43:18

I became a way

43:20

better officer at

43:22

investigating those and getting the information then

43:24

to help with successful

43:26

prosecution of cases . I

43:29

was itching to kind of get back to patrol

43:31

and left on good terms

43:33

. I think yeah

43:36

. And

43:38

so unless yeah unless if anyone has any

43:40

other opinions .

43:41

but so

43:44

now you're , now you're back on patrol

43:46

and

43:48

kind of rampant as we back up . If you will , obviously

43:50

, I'm asking you , handle a little better . It's a little more well

43:52

adjusted . What are you in

43:54

your personal life Like ? What do you do to

43:57

? But

43:59

what do you do to , I

44:02

guess , cope with police work and

44:05

distresses .

44:07

It's a good question , it's because you're trying to

44:09

figure out .

44:10

No , I don't . I don't do that I don't drink

44:13

to .

44:15

You know , I

44:18

like to really just spend time with

44:20

other people and that's

44:22

a big part of , you

44:24

know , being away from here . I

44:30

mean , we're busy right now and

44:32

just life , and so I

44:35

think that normally

44:38

we like to travel and

44:41

but I don't . I've

44:43

never been a person that , when I

44:45

asked that question , has a good idea or

44:48

a good response , like it just seems

44:50

. When everyone's like well , what do you like to do , what

44:52

are your hobbies , how

44:54

do you ? And I'm like I don't know , when I'm

44:57

not at work , I'm usually

44:59

trying not to think about work and probably cleaning the house , like

45:02

I just well , and part of that is

45:04

the same reason that my hobby situation tends to

45:07

be kind of limited .

45:08

I don't know if can we go into that . What is the kid situation

45:11

?

45:11

Yeah , for sure .

45:12

You're a weird type

45:15

of new father .

45:17

It's not weird . Okay , I

45:20

was not saying that . Not

45:22

weird , but it's the ordinary

45:24

, it's not new . So in this , not new borns

45:26

.

45:27

Okay , yeah .

45:28

So , instead of like , yeah , we'll just get

45:30

right into it I didn't even , I guess

45:33

I

45:35

didn't give back story , so

45:38

we gave back story about how I got

45:40

into law enforcement . I married married . Okay

45:42

, how many years you've been

45:44

noted to me ? I'm married Five

45:47

years .

45:48

You didn't trouble , I was okay .

45:50

So but then together for 10

45:52

years , like we met in college and

45:58

so

46:01

married . I

46:03

guess let's back up a little bit , just

46:05

because it gives a little bit of context

46:07

in the police work to when

46:10

we talked about support systems

46:13

. I actually thought that was pretty interesting

46:15

that that was one of the questions in

46:17

the oral word of

46:19

like does your spouse support you ?

46:21

And I was

46:23

like , I guess you know , I

46:26

just wasn't a thing .

46:26

So I thought that was pretty neat . At least they were

46:29

genuinely interested . So

46:33

in college I met Lane

46:35

. It was a unique situation again because

46:37

we were at a Baptist school and this

46:39

had always been something that I struggled with . Okay

46:42

.

46:44

The Baptist school . I'm going out on a limb and

46:46

saying had a rule against it . Yeah

46:48

, yeah .

46:48

Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah yeah grew

46:56

up kind of not

46:58

out . I grew

47:00

up , came here . My

47:06

dad was a very churchy person . I had

47:08

a lot of conflicting beliefs , met

47:10

Lane and that just clicked

47:12

right . So that was a secret

47:14

for a while and I actually

47:16

almost broke up with him

47:19

because I didn't think I could be

47:21

a cop as

47:23

being open and

47:26

there wasn't any particular person that was putting

47:29

that idea in my

47:31

head . It was like self-imposed

47:33

.

47:35

Because was that before you were here ?

47:37

Yes , so as I start

47:40

gearing up , like in the program that I talked

47:42

about in school obviously

47:44

it was a pretty undiscussed

47:46

thing at school I'm

47:49

like , well , how am I going to get a job

47:51

at Grand Prairie ? I didn't know any

47:53

. I did an internship while in school

47:55

at a police department and like I just am

47:58

like I

48:00

don't know .

48:01

You think it's because you were going to the law

48:03

enforcement courses at a religious school . That

48:06

you're just like kind of conflicted with .

48:07

No , I just I think that when

48:10

you look at cops , you're like you

48:12

just don't see a lot of outside

48:14

influences , you just see a cop , people

48:17

like to put people in boxes and all this kind

48:19

of stuff . And if that's one thing

48:21

I don't fit in , it's a box , not because physically

48:23

I'm huge , but because I

48:26

have a lot of nuances .

48:28

I'm moving by .

48:30

But I just there's so

48:32

many nuances to things . Right , we're in Texas

48:35

, like we all just like to make

48:37

things simplified . I'm

48:39

the complete opposite of that , because while

48:42

I believe one thing , I also believe another thing , and

48:45

we've had hours long

48:47

conversations of certain things , so I

48:49

just didn't think

48:51

it was maybe important enough

48:53

. I thought it would be a

48:56

hurdle and I thought

48:58

this would just hold me back . So

49:00

let me just get into this job and

49:03

figure it out . So

49:05

like I just without

49:08

a partner , without somebody , without it

49:10

being , I'm curious what figured it out

49:12

looked like .

49:12

Are you just going to look at girls until you like them

49:14

, or like a surprise one ?

49:16

Or just be single , or just like not discuss

49:18

who I am .

49:19

That's a wild level of commitment .

49:21

Well , it was , and it was driving me nuts because

49:24

while we were , while I was filling out this

49:26

what seemed like a million page application

49:29

, it gets deep and

49:31

my biggest fear was not

49:34

being truthful . And

49:36

it got to the point where I was filling this

49:38

out and I was like I left it blank

49:40

. We

49:43

were nearing the end of the college deal and at

49:45

that point we'd been together a couple years and

49:47

, like our finances , and it went that deep

49:49

, Like my stress over it went

49:51

that deep of well , I'm going

49:53

to have to cancel the bank account . And

49:55

it got to the point where I was like Lane

49:58

, I may have to , just not , we

50:00

may have to go separate ways . And

50:02

I just it wasn't the department , it wasn't

50:04

anything , it was a lot of just things that up

50:06

until that point , I didn't have to handle

50:09

, I didn't have to think about I didn't have to deal with

50:11

. And so I just one day I

50:13

just was like , well , if I can't be truthful

50:15

and if I can't

50:18

give it , like them , all the information

50:20

and if I have to skate around certain things , then

50:22

maybe I don't need to work there . And

50:24

that was the point where I was like script

50:26

, yeah , you know , and I was

50:29

like bottoms up and

50:32

so with all like so , all that , to say you

50:35

know , through his name on there and

50:38

it's been great A

50:41

lot of unpacking to say we're at this point now

50:43

we've been married about five years Obviously

50:47

cannot have children by natural means . So

50:49

we're , you know , we're thinking how , you

50:51

know , do we want kids ? And

50:54

surrogacy is out the window because

50:57

that's 100 grand that I do not have .

50:59

How do you get extra jobs ? Yeah

51:02

, overtime .

51:05

You know , private adopters there were . We spent

51:07

a good six months just looking at how

51:09

the options work , and my

51:11

mom grew up in foster care . She was in

51:13

, probably why we moved a

51:16

lot of times . She was in like 13 different homes

51:18

and it just made

51:20

sense to me to try that first

51:22

, and so we opened up to foster care

51:25

. Three . Two and a half years ago we

51:27

had two placements . They went back

51:30

with a grandma we

51:32

had moved home , so we were closed for a little bit and then

51:34

we open back up and we got placed with this

51:37

new case . We

51:40

had three . There's

51:42

seven and now eight children in

51:45

this sibling group , but

51:47

now we are left with one . We had her since she

51:49

was six weeks , so

51:51

she just turned one . So we've had her

51:53

for a minute now and it

51:56

has been a while , yeah , and so

51:58

that's our , that's our journey

52:00

right now is takes up a lot of time

52:02

.

52:02

You're not . You're not being like super clear

52:06

is right where you're , like you all went from

52:08

no kids , you

52:11

know just yeah you just live in

52:13

the life to boom three kids

52:16

. So we were originally

52:18

, we went no kids to two .

52:20

They went back and then we're like , well

52:23

, that was a lot , you know , and how do you impact that

52:25

in foster care ? Is this ? And there's several officers

52:27

here that have gone through foster care and that's actually been a

52:29

really great resource talk

52:31

with them , and

52:34

then that we close , and then we went from zero to three

52:36

. Right , a

52:39

five year old , or , sorry , a four year old

52:41

, a three year old and a six week old , yeah

52:44

, and the oldest has some , or the

52:46

two oldest they were nonverbal

52:48

, you know , and there was a neglect

52:50

in the family and the baby was born with drugs

52:52

. So we went not only from

52:54

zero to three , but we went from

52:56

zero to three with also some special like

52:59

special circumstances and needs .

53:02

That was a lot because

53:04

you want to go back to work for a break .

53:07

I never like when I've heard people they're like oh

53:09

, they're working a lot of overtime or

53:14

they

53:16

stay late because it's

53:18

bedtime .

53:19

Yeah , and I was like

53:21

, I was like ah , ha , ha , ha .

53:23

Yeah , I legit

53:25

had to have a intentional conversation

53:27

with myself to be like you're

53:29

not doing that . You

53:31

know .

53:33

Not doing the meaning .

53:34

You're not , you're not gonna be saying late

53:36

, if you don't have to stay late Because you want

53:38

to get out of the bedtime , bath time thing , and

53:40

it becomes it like it creeps in pretty easily

53:42

and it's just a true , honest

53:44

thing where it's like and right

53:47

now we only had that one baby right , you

53:49

have like 12 , you know . so

53:52

yeah so

53:54

that

53:57

became very real and very

53:59

quick and then the two older ones went back with her dad

54:01

. So we're navigating

54:04

this case , which has become chaotic and it takes

54:06

up a lot of our time . So all

54:09

of that unpacking to say the

54:11

hobbies and everything like what do you do outside

54:13

? It's just surviving because

54:16

.

54:16

I'm .

54:17

Yeah , and I guess that is a hobby , like the family

54:19

time , and there's nothing better

54:21

than like going home and and

54:23

Seeing like the

54:26

cutest little thing ever whip

54:28

her head around and Like

54:30

come , like demon crawling towards

54:32

you , because she's like , oh , look at

54:34

this person's back that I love and , at

54:38

the same time , also heart-wrenching

54:40

because she may not stay like that like

54:42

the emotional part of that . It has been

54:44

such a Push

54:47

and pull that again

54:50

. Going back to the expectations , we

54:53

knew , because I've had conversations

54:55

with people . Well , you signed up for it . You should

54:57

have known . That's that

54:59

. That is easy to say and , yes , it

55:01

is true , you know on paper , like , how

55:03

this process works , but to and

55:07

literally deal with it , and in

55:10

real time , it doesn't make the

55:12

emotion go away . So , that it's

55:14

just like you . I Don't

55:18

even know how to describe how you love someone and also

55:20

try to hold up a barrier so that you

55:22

don't get destroyed .

55:23

Yeah , emotionally .

55:25

I'm like still still trying to work on that very

55:27

being very vocal . Today

55:29

is not a day . You know . Today the

55:31

CPI like and it normally surrounds CPS

55:34

texting me or calling us and any

55:36

updates which

55:38

usually end with we don't know what's happening

55:40

. Right , I'm like you

55:43

can tell my mood changes and so

55:45

it's . It's a hot , it's been a hard

55:47

thing , but it's been interesting to kind of learn

55:49

and Lately here I feel like I've

55:52

just been rambling about they're

55:54

like how's everything ? I'm like do you really want to know ? Because

55:56

I don't have enough time to tell

55:59

you , but I Feel

56:01

like I have good support , you know , and that's a good

56:04

thing .

56:04

The so have

56:06

you all talked about ? I guess it's just

56:09

the all-out adoption where

56:11

you that's your baby and

56:13

you don't have to worry about . Okay , maybe

56:15

later the dad may come back into

56:17

the picture and yeah , so we've talked about

56:19

adoption .

56:20

The private adoptions is still expensive . Oh

56:22

okay , and that's still different than CPS

56:25

adoption .

56:27

There's a lot of different .

56:29

Part two , you know .

56:30

Part three , four , five , if you know

56:33

but I lean a jolly , can just spend

56:35

the money because it's so and

56:38

there there's expenses to all

56:40

of it .

56:42

The foster to there's fostering . There's

56:44

foster to adopt , there's adoption

56:46

only . But if you do adoption

56:48

only , you're waiting years and

56:51

years and years and years . You just because you

56:53

don't know when a kid's gonna Be come available . And it's nuts

56:55

to me because In our job yeah

56:57

our job . We come around around homes

56:59

and I'm calling CPS like several

57:02

times a month because of , you know , keep things that

57:04

happen in the home that calls . We go on , and I've

57:06

never been so

57:09

disappointed and like

57:12

Government

57:14

system , which

57:18

is , you know , we work for a city

57:20

government here , and and it's

57:23

obviously different than and

57:25

I I

57:27

just been Put

57:30

in a lot of new places lately mentally

57:33

dealing with those

57:35

challenges and it's just , it's

57:37

out of control . So

57:40

Well , you know . At

57:42

the same time , though , we're taking

57:44

it in strides . Yeah , the case

57:46

is almost up , we just got to deal with it . And

57:48

so how do I deal with it

57:50

? Go

57:52

home and clean . I do a lot of cleaning

57:55

. Talking to

57:57

Lane helps , because I'm like , I'm

58:00

like my mind's racing , I don't . I

58:02

don't need answers for me , I'm just saying like I'm , he's

58:05

like , just you know and listen

58:07

. So that's what we do a lot . And

58:09

then I also go to therapy . That's good . Therapies

58:12

big around , I mean therapy is big around this department

58:15

, which is great . I was like that's

58:17

the order , that is , if

58:19

we're talking about changes of the department over

58:21

the years , if that is one thing that

58:24

should be put to the front of it , like that is

58:26

just . I think it's cool , I think

58:28

it's Unique

58:30

. I think a lot of departments are trying to do that

58:32

just to kind of obviously foster that like

58:35

good mental space . But it's not the

58:37

granola crunchy like oh , you know

58:39

a lot of like those key words

58:41

that people use and I

58:47

don't want to sit here and talk all day and ramble

58:49

about the same thing over and over to you guys . I'll

58:51

go talk to somebody else and then we can bounce it . You

58:53

know , it's just good to have that outlet , yeah

58:55

.

58:58

Yeah well , you've

59:01

been a complete disappointment because

59:03

I thought we were gonna sit down and

59:05

Banner and BS and joke

59:08

and it's gonna be funny and it was

59:10

just super serious the whole time .

59:11

Well , I do have a funny , funny story . Did you

59:13

actually think of one ?

59:14

Yeah , I did now , not trying to be rude

59:16

, but don't you know what ?

59:18

it's not really that funny actually kind of

59:20

was funny for a little bit , like way

59:22

back in the day playing your embarrassing . Probably

59:26

both Okay cool , not

59:28

so much embarrassing . I mean not anymore . It's been several

59:30

years but way back in the day when we had paper

59:32

tickets in FTO , I'm

59:37

told to write this guy a ticket for

59:39

some like tail light violation . I'm

59:41

writing it out and I'm like so in my head

59:43

at this point in FTO I don't know which way

59:45

is like up , and I'm just like Probably

59:48

around the time where I'm like I gotta , I gotta take a minute

59:51

here , but I'm , I'm

59:53

sitting there and I'm writing this ticket

59:55

out and I'm done and the FTO usually

59:58

checks it just to make sure and

1:00:00

he goes what

1:00:03

, what the hell is this like what

1:00:05

he's ? Like you wrote your name on

1:00:07

here . I

1:00:10

Wrote myself a ticket

1:00:13

because I'm reading it says name

1:00:15

, like

1:00:19

it says first name , last name , and I'm filling

1:00:21

it out like I'd like a test or like something like

1:00:24

I'm like . It's like they're like it's asked

1:00:26

personal information here and then we'll get to the rest

1:00:28

, and so that ticket

1:00:30

Was

1:00:33

, I want to say it was passed around

1:00:35

several people for sure because

1:00:37

then you have to like do a citation dismissal , right

1:00:40

. So I you know yeah , I've never done well

1:00:42

.

1:00:43

Have you ever yourself ?

1:00:44

take it , though I learned early on

1:00:46

how to do that and like it's a formal thing when

1:00:48

he's dismissed the citation , it went through a chain

1:00:50

of command and the reason on it , like I Think

1:00:54

this is more of like this to

1:00:57

point out the fact that I had did that right

1:00:59

it was Like

1:01:01

you filled out this citation dismissal , you attach the

1:01:03

ticket to it you it was a chain of command thing and

1:01:05

you wrote the reason why it's being dismissed . I

1:01:08

was like a being dismissed because it was the wrong

1:01:10

issue to myself and

1:01:12

like it's it went to the . It went to the supervisor

1:01:14

, the lieutenant .

1:01:17

Did the Violator

1:01:19

get his copy ?

1:01:20

he got a . He got a ticket . Yeah , a

1:01:23

different one . Oh , okay , yeah , with

1:01:25

his correct information what they made you do it . They

1:01:28

made you do a dismissal on one you didn't , because it still

1:01:30

exists as a ticket on based on the numbers

1:01:32

right , so it's like they got a keep track of what

1:01:34

tickets went where .

1:01:36

I was An

1:01:39

FTO .

1:01:40

Yeah , I'm being told what to do and I'm writing my

1:01:42

own name . And now I'm like even further in my head and

1:01:44

I was like I don't know this funny . I was

1:01:46

like I just go you .

1:01:47

You thought they stay , since you home , so you could think it for the job

1:01:49

. I

1:01:54

didn't know what time off was .

1:01:55

At that point I was like , is this a good thing ? Yeah

1:01:57

, I'm sorry .

1:02:00

Well , I hate to cut off things there . We have like two or more

1:02:02

things we could talk about , but it's awesome part two

1:02:04

. Appreciate you coming in .

1:02:05

Yeah , I'm glad you

1:02:07

all had me and hopefully get

1:02:10

some good .

1:02:12

Stuff bits , always , always , offer a chance

1:02:14

. You have any words

1:02:16

of advice you want to offer to anybody .

1:02:17

I Feel like I gave a lot of

1:02:19

that throughout the . Alright

1:02:22

, no , I just . I just think , though , to

1:02:24

like recap , if , if you're a brand

1:02:26

new cop , I wouldn't

1:02:28

say like soul-searching , but that's part

1:02:30

of Really taking

1:02:33

the idea of Do

1:02:35

ride-alongs , do things to expose yourself

1:02:37

, talk to like long-term cops , Really

1:02:40

get the idea of what actually is going on , because

1:02:42

then you're gonna get your real idea when you actually do it . Yep

1:02:44

, to help prepare you for that

1:02:46

, at least close that gap . And then lateral officers

1:02:49

you already know what you're doing In

1:02:51

terms . Well , hopefully , you

1:02:53

know what you're doing , but if you don't

1:02:55

, we'll catch up to speed . But

1:02:58

you know , obviously , come in here having that the

1:03:01

open-mindedness of adjoining

1:03:03

our crew here , not

1:03:05

only to help us on days a For

1:03:08

patrol staffing , but you know to

1:03:11

get a better . I think . I think Texas

1:03:13

does offer a really good , yeah change of pace

1:03:15

for a lot of people .

1:03:16

So and don't talk . Just

1:03:18

don't talk all the time about how you used to do it . Yeah

1:03:21

, do not talk nobody can

1:03:23

listen .

1:03:24

We get it . There are other ways of doing

1:03:27

things .

1:03:28

So we do stuff here go back yeah

1:03:30

.

1:03:30

Well now stay here , we'll be able to . Yeah

1:03:34

, we'll work through it , but we'll also remind

1:03:36

you gently that it's a

1:03:39

listen . Well , now you get to

1:03:41

do yeah , not what you used to do . So Sign

1:03:44

up . All right , join us , we'll get sure down .

1:03:46

Bye , till next time , you

1:03:50

.