The word “love” gets thrown around a lot these days and applied to all sorts of types of relationships and emotions. But in the New Testament of the Bible, written in Greek, the authors used more specific terms to describe different types of love.

Eros Love. This is the love we see celebrated in music and movies. That romantic, dizzying, attraction that most couples feel in the initial stages of a relationship. While eros isn’t the whole picture, it’s an important component of a thriving marriage and should be nurtured over the long term.

Putting effort into the things that made eros so easy in the beginning. 

Continuing to date, even after the kids come along.

Making time for intimacy. 

Agape Love. Agape love is the stuff that holds a marriage and a family together through all kinds of seasons. It’s the selfless, unconditional type of love that helps people to forgive one another, to respect one another, and to serve one another, day in and day out. Unfortunately, many modern couples think that when eros love is lagging, there’s nothing left to bind a marriage together. But agape love is the glue that keeps your relationship intact while you rehabilitate other areas that need work. 

Respecting your husband, even when you don’t really “like” him or think he deserves it.

Serving your husband and family’s needs, even when you’re not sure they truly appreciate it.

Forgiving your spouse when he screws up, and understanding that tomorrow it may be you who needs forgiveness.

Putting your spouse’s needs before your own.

Of course, every marriage needs give and take and you can’t force your spouse to show you the agape love you desire. What you can do to change the temperature and dynamics of your relationship is to model the kind of self-sacrificial love you’d like to receive yourself.