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Hello , ladies and gentlemen , and welcome

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to Grand Slam Journey podcast , where

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we discuss various topics related

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to our Grand Slam journey

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of sports , business and

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technology . I'm your host

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, clara Gossova , and today is

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one of my brief episodes where

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I share some of my personal stories . A

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few months ago , I asked some of my connections

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on LinkedIn A question

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how do you feel

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about hitting your opponent during

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a tennis match with a tennis ball

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? The results

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were interesting 20%

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of voters were pro , 60%

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were against and

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20% were other

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Other , meaning

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that there is more context that's needed

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, and some of the comments that

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were provided were related

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to if it's in the line

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of five player , than it's part of the game intentionally

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going after them , not

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really in their wheelhouse . Another

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friend of mine , a former tennis player

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, and my teammate Niels

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, mentioned it only pants . I

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play mixed doubles with my wife and

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I naturally tend to aim at volleyers feet

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If I don't have the angle

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to put the ball away . I

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believe that is absolutely fair game

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. However , I had several

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folks trying to take my head

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off even after

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I really conceded a point to them . Most

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of us don't play for money and

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winning should not come at the cost of

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trying to hurt someone intentionally

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which I agree a

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lot with what Niels says here Especially

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aiming at someone's feet . It

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is one of the smartest shots

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for a number of reasons . Number

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one it's really hard to hit anything

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else back from that low

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volley , and if you

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hit someone's foot or ankle that's

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really the worst that can happen . Other

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comments where , when

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it makes sense , it's okay

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. Just no headshots , which

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I found was quite funny , because

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if someone's intentionally

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aiming at your head , it

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actually means that they're

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intentionally sacrificing

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to hit the ball probably

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2-5 meters out . One

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of the basic tennis rules that you learn

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if you play tennis is don't

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ever aim for the head , not

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even for the reasons of safety , but

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for the reasons of math

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and physics and , I guess , spatial

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objects . Number

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one head is really hard to hit

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and really easy to move around

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, and so if you're shooting at

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someone's head , it even means

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that you're totally stupid and

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you're also wasting the ball trying to hit

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it 2-5 meters out intentionally

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. No-transcript

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, actually , I don't know what the other answer is . Really

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, it's just not strategic

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. So trying to shoot

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for someone's head is probably not

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a good strategy . I also

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mentioned that I will share

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a story from a

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couple of years ago now , when

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I rejoined the USTA

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team back in the Bay Area

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, I met a

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few amazing ladies who

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invited me

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to be part of their women's doubles league

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. I was hesitant because

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I haven't played competitively for

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over a decade , really ever since college

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. Interestingly enough

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, one of the sports that hurt me most

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is tennis , and so I

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deal with a lot of injuries trying

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to keep my body together . I

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do love getting on the court

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and hitting the ball , and

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at the same time it comes with a really

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high price of

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pain that starts escalating to injuries

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that then prevent me from any other

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activities that I do outside

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of the tennis court to stay sane

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and be fit . So

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my tennis

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dose probably comes with one

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tennis session a week , which is max

4:25

. Even at that

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, I typically start degrading

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my health about two to three

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months after regular hitting

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sessions , and so

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it requires a lot of maintenance , such

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as acupuncture and carpenter

4:42

, to keep my body together

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and be able to walk

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and do other things without pain

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. So playing tennis

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is actually probably not the best thing for

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me , and it's still something that

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I am pondering

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about and am still

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too stubborn to give up . To

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get back to the story I

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decided to join the league because

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the ladies were super fun , really

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laid back and

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fun social dinners

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is actually something I am discovering

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. In the past couple years , I

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didn't really know that tennis could also

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be a fun social game . For me , it

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was always about competing and performing

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and improving , which

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. There also come challenges

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with that , because , getting back

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on the court , I realized

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that aging is a real thing . I'm

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not as fast as I used to be , I

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don't hit the shots as consistently

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and as accurately as I used to , and

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so going back on the court

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typically includes

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managing a lot

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of my own mindset and

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facing my

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ego , because somehow

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my head still has expectations that

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I should be able to get to the ball faster

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, I should be able to jump higher or

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hit it more consistently . However

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, with that regular practice you

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can't really achieve that , and

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so the way I look at it is

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actually good practice for being

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humble and trying

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to reset my expectations

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or establish

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new goals for the game , which is

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finding new ways , how to

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enjoy it and creating new

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friends through it . Back

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to the story . One

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of the matches I ended up playing it

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was probably after a couple

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months of break . I had a busy

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time at work . I've been recovering from

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several injuries , which I'm

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always recovering from , injuries . My

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tennis typically entails taking

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on average 4-6 ibuprofins

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to get through a match , and

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so I haven't been particularly

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feeling myself that day . And

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we played against these two ladies

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. The first set was

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okay . I was highly inconsistent

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. I'm a big

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hitter and so , especially

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when I'm tired , inconsistent and

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in pain , I'm not going to stand

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on the court and try to hit 20 balls , mainly

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because I'm inconsistent . So

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I continue to lean on my

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power , which is what I stress around

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my game , around , even back in the day . Jack

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has pretty good tennis

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and so I've always been taught

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to be aggressive , and obviously my

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body structure doesn't allow me

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to chase the ball 20

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times 6 foot

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tall , probably 165

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pounds and so I can't

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chase the ball on the court

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and rallies infinitely

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, because I will

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just get too tired and especially now

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, plus , my feet don't really

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hold up . So I'm trying to keep

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the rallies as short and quick

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as I can , especially when I'm in pain

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. We won the first

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set . Don't remember the score we

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got in the second set . It

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was getting dark , which I'm also

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shadow blind , so every

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time there is poor lighting I can't

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really see the ball well , and

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so my quality of game declines

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even more . My

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partner was receiving , she

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had a forehand rally and

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I decided to poach

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. The ball actually wasn't way too far from me

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, but because of the light , and especially

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bad lighting above the net

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, I mis-hit the volley

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. Add the volleyer on the

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opposite side , I

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believe . The ball hit her racket and

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then from that frame it went to her

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head . In fact , if she

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ducked down , the ball would likely

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be out , and so it was not

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intentional at all . I immediately

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lifted my hand

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up and started apologizing

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, and before I was able

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to say I'm sorry and

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if she's okay , she started

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yelling at me that

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I was trying to kill her and

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I am intentionally shooting

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balls at her , that she

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has a kid and that she's a mom

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, and I actually

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don't know what she was trying to do , other

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than she was

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trying to manipulate the game because they

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were losing , which she couldn't get over

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her own feelings

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, and it seems

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like , no matter how old

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people are , some people never

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learn how to lose . I

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asked the lady and her partner

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several times to stop

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yelling at me and

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that we can solve

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it after the match without drama

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. They wouldn't

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step . They kept coming

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to the net and yelling at me in

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between points , things

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like I'm not a mom , and

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I'm not really

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sure what they meant by it . I tried not to take

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it personally . There

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was a change over next game

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or next point . I

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made few steps towards her and

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I told her that if I was

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really trying to hit her intentionally it would

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look different and she should stop

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talking , that we

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ended up winning the second set although

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it would hardly count as a win , especially

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with the drama and so I

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went home really aggravated

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, trying to calm myself down . And

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then I got a message

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or a phone call I don't know if it was the same

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day or the day after that

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. The lady is writing a complaint letter

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about me to the USDA . And

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then we saw the letter and the letter had

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something in it Like I hid her

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30 times in

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the back when she wasn't

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even looking at me and

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I kept hitting her intentionally

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. She even went so far

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to where she got testimonials

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from some of the other people

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I had played against that

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year or earlier that year

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how amazing player I am

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and that I shouldn't be playing that level

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and way

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beyond the skill set

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of whatever the rating was

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that USDA gave me and

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I just was beyond irritated

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and amazed to

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what degree some people are willing to go

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, how mean people can

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be , and just the craziness

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of people making up

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stories and not being embarrassed

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about it and sending it

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to someone claiming that

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they're true . The USDA

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came back with feedback that I was quite

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impressed by the ladies

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I played against , which I didn't know where , rated

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4-5 . This

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was a 5-0 leak and

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the USDA stated that if they're playing

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players that are in

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the 5-0 leak , they're probably better

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skilled than the 4-5 and so

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they shouldn't be hitting easy balls

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to where the opponent can attack them . They

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pretty much told them to take

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their complaint and go home . What

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all of this taught me was

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USDA leak is

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brilliant . For me , playing

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against women can be

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too emotional . One

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of the things that I really enjoyed about San

12:55

Jose is my group of tennis

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friends . They were mostly guys

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. We had some ladies in the group

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. They were equally tough and

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non-emotional , but

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I love hitting the ball hard . I

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love hitting with guys that hit the ball

13:11

hard and are not scared

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to hit it at me or at us . And

13:17

so , going back

13:19

a little bit to the strategy of

13:21

tennis and

13:23

hitting an opponent . Going

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back to competitive strategy of tennis

13:29

and hitting an opponent Back

13:32

when I played competitively , it

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actually was totally okay to

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aim a hard ball at the net player

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. We used to practice this

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, and we used

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to practice other people hitting hard

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at us when we were at the volleys . There's

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few reasons for that One

13:52

. When you have

13:55

a person who poaches in tennis a lot

13:57

, you actually want to let

13:59

them know that you're watching

14:01

for them to move , and

14:04

hitting the ball hard down the line gives

14:06

them a signal that you're ready and

14:09

it keeps them on their toes . And

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so , especially when you play doubles , you play

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against volleyer that poaches

14:16

a lot . This can be a really good strategy . It

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can also be a really good strategy

14:21

when the

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volleyer on the other side is

14:25

very confident , and the reason

14:27

for it sometimes they can get into this really

14:30

good rhythm and everything is

14:32

going in and they keep being more confident

14:34

, and so it takes your game apart

14:36

, and so hitting the ball hard

14:39

at them and making them hopefully

14:41

miss a couple volleys gets in their

14:43

head in confidence , and so

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a lot of my episodes have been

14:47

about tennis and strategy . No-transcript

14:51

is a game of mental toughness

14:53

and confidence , and

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so knowing how you feel , but also

14:58

being sensitive to how

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your opponent may feel , and

15:02

taking intentionally their confidence

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away and making them be

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worried or scared in some

15:09

ways , is actually good . If

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you want to win and , I believe , if

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you're playing competitively , everybody wants

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to win . No one likes to lose

15:18

, and so whatever

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you need to do that annoys your opponent and

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decreases their confidence and

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takes their game apart is a fair

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game . If it means going

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hard at them when there are the volleys , taking

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their confidence apart , so be

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it . At the end of the game

15:38

, all you have to do is worry about

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playing based on the rules . This

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isn't illegal . If

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you want to win , you should use

15:48

all the means possible within

15:50

the boundaries of the game and play in

15:52

order to win . That's what the best

15:54

players do . This

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may be a bit different than

15:58

when you're playing a social game

16:00

. If you're playing socially , then

16:03

understanding the levels of the players

16:05

and what you can afford

16:07

and where you can afford to hit the ball so

16:09

you don't scare them , is

16:11

totally fine . But again

16:13

, I'm not talking about fun social

16:16

tennis here . I'm talking

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more about competitive

16:20

tennis , and so it's

16:23

important to understand that nuance , it's

16:25

important to understand the situations

16:27

and it's important to understand

16:29

the differences between playing

16:31

tennis competitively and

16:34

trying to be the best you can be versus

16:36

playing tennis socially

16:39

, although even in those instances

16:41

, sometimes hitting the ball hard

16:43

can be fun . One

16:45

thing I want to add regarding tennis

16:48

and hitting or not hitting

16:50

your opponent . While we tennis

16:52

players believe that we're tough and

16:54

I'm sure there are certain levels of toughness required

16:56

I would argue it's one

16:58

of the safest sports . When it comes

17:01

to really risking your

17:03

life , the worst that can happen to you

17:05

is being hit by a ball . It's

17:08

not as life

17:11

risking such as downhill

17:13

skiing , snowboarding , biking

17:15

, ufc . There's

17:17

some true extreme

17:20

sports where

17:22

, if you make a mistake and you lose your

17:24

focus , you're literally risking

17:27

your life . That's not tennis

17:29

. So knowing that the worst

17:31

that can happen to you is being hit by a ball

17:33

is really nothing

17:36

serious . You shake it off

17:38

, you move on and recover

17:40

. One of the worst things

17:42

that can probably happen is a story

17:45

from one of my previous podcasts

17:47

with my dear friend , irina .

17:49

It's like imagine the worst case

17:52

scenario . So live through that

17:54

fear in advance

17:56

of the situation . What

17:58

is the worst case scenario ? So I

18:00

was on a tennis court when I was

18:02

still only little , playing

18:04

practice doubles with some

18:07

older guys I

18:09

think I was eight and I was

18:11

at the net and one of the

18:13

guys turned really hard right at

18:15

me and I even doubt

18:18

that that boy was aiming

18:20

at me , I think it just happened . You know , he

18:22

was a good serve . He sort of like reacted

18:24

quickly and it just came straight

18:27

into my nose , between the eyes , and

18:29

the blood was everywhere

18:31

. And I'm eight . So how

18:33

do you go back to the tennis court

18:36

after that ? And that's

18:38

like my death set , he's like . Well

18:40

, now you know what's the worst case scenario

18:42

and you survived it . Next

18:45

time use your racket to protect

18:47

yourself .

18:49

If you want to hear more from her

18:51

journey of sports and

18:53

finance and accounting , tune

18:55

in to episode number 11

18:57

. Funny enough , her

19:00

dad and my dad had the same

19:02

advice you have a tennis

19:04

racket to protect yourself

19:06

with , use it . If

19:09

you enjoyed this episode , I want to ask

19:11

you to please do two things that

19:13

would help me greatly . One

19:15

, please consider leaving a review on

19:17

Apple Podcasts , spotify or any

19:19

other podcasting platform that you use

19:21

to listen to this episode . Two

19:24

, please share this podcast with a friend

19:26

who you believe might enjoy it

19:28

as well . Thank you for listening .