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♪ Talking about chicken a la king ♪ ♪ Mango

0:34

and garbanzo, tabbouleh, little potatoes, ♪

0:37

♪ And vegetables with roasted garlic

0:40

and basil, ♪ ♪ Zucchini ziti, granola,

0:42

fruit pie, ♪ ♪ Look at all this beautiful

0:45

food, mmm. ♪ Welcome

0:47

to Green Eggs and Dan, where I interview amazing people

0:50

with amazing minds, but all I care about is what

0:52

is in their fridge. My guest today, it's a

0:54

first, everyone, a first for Green

0:56

Eggs and Dan. It's our very first adult

0:59

film actress, porn star. I

1:01

don't know what the correct terminology

1:04

is. She is the star of many

1:06

films, including Cheating With My Wife, Perv

1:08

Mom, Love Her Feet,

1:10

Fuck Buddy Custody

1:12

Battles, and of course, say it with me,

1:15

Lesbian Tutors 8. You

1:19

can find her on Pornhub or YouPorn

1:22

or wherever you get your porn. Please

1:24

welcome Lexi Luna. Hi,

1:27

Lexi.

1:27

Hello. Thank you

1:29

so much for that glorious introduction. Of course,

1:31

Lexi, this is very exciting. We've never had, first

1:34

of all, is it adult film star? Is it porn

1:36

star? I like to call myself a porn star

1:38

because I feel there was a time where I didn't

1:40

call myself a porn star because I felt

1:42

like I was just a girl who had done some porn, but I feel

1:44

like after over 400 plus titles and

1:48

constant

1:49

porning, I feel like I'm a

1:51

porn star at this point. You're a star. You are a star

1:54

at this point. So I've accepted it, and now I

1:56

call myself a porn star. So this is very exciting.

2:00

that we met was over Twitter

2:03

and you reached out and said you wanted

2:05

to be on the podcast. Now I don't know if

2:07

you're a fan of the podcast or you're just trying to do

2:09

more press or what it is, but I was

2:11

very intrigued. I was like, well, this is interesting.

2:14

I've never...

2:14

Well, I was intrigued by you and your fridge dives

2:18

and all that. So, you know, mutual

2:20

interest. Well,

2:21

that's nice. And right away I was

2:23

like, yeah, what is

2:25

in the fridge of a porn star? I have

2:29

never thought of what a porn star

2:31

fridge is. So everyone,

2:33

if you've ever wondered like I, you can now

2:36

see

2:36

Lexi Luna's fridge on my Instagram at

2:38

standup Dan. Okay, here we go. First

2:42

of all, great fridge. Thank

2:44

you. Great fridge. Again, I

2:46

don't know what I expected from a porn star's fridge,

2:49

but it's

2:50

very well organized. It's

2:53

very nice. But automatically

2:56

my eye is going to gravitate towards

2:58

the white cream colored liquids

3:02

because there's a lot of them here. I don't

3:04

know if it's for practice or not Lexi. Oh,

3:08

no, they are not. I

3:10

love that you are zooming in and gross.

3:12

Okay. Okay.

3:15

Front and center. I'm going to give you props for this because front and center

3:17

up top, you've got Kefir. Again,

3:21

one of the white creams. Kefir

3:23

is a very probiotic, very good

3:25

stuff. And then you've got, I think this

3:28

is either Middle Eastern yogurt or

3:30

is it Lebne? Which one is that?

3:32

It is Lebne. Yeah. I

3:34

love it. Are you Middle Eastern? I'm not,

3:36

no, but I just, I love all types of cuisine

3:39

and I have being in Vegas, I live

3:41

near an international market and it is impressively

3:44

huge from every

3:46

different aisle is a different

3:48

country. So there are a lot of different

3:51

options and I just went there and

3:54

my biggest reason for going there was the tea selection.

3:56

They have much better tea selection from

3:58

teas all over the world.

3:59

That's one thing that I really enjoy. And when

4:02

I went there, I was obviously taken

4:04

aback by the size of this warehouse, and

4:06

I found all kinds of different things. So I started trying some

4:08

stuff. And you'll notice there's

4:11

a curry ketchup down there on the door

4:13

to that red bottle.

4:15

Yep, that's the curry ketchup. So

4:18

all the sauce is like, I'm just

4:21

adding stuff to my food as my jam. That's

4:23

why I kind of love this fridge, because it's kind of how, it's

4:25

very similar to my fridge in that it's got

4:28

a lot of the Middle Eastern dips going on.

4:30

Yeah, I do love it. Big

4:33

tapajamas over there. Some

4:35

sort of sziki situation under it.

4:38

Is that what that is? And then like, is that a salsa?

4:40

Yeah, salsa. I do love it. And

4:42

then there's another threesome of,

4:46

I didn't mean that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

4:48

Well, that top one is also a salsa that I get

4:51

at the farmer's market here in Vegas, and it is fantastic.

4:53

It's cilantro and jalapeno salsa.

4:56

So it's actually a little different. And then of

4:58

course, a second selection of two,

5:00

hummus, hamay? Hamay,

5:03

hamay. Yes,

5:05

the plural is hamay. Very

5:07

cool. And then a lot

5:09

of Greek stuff. You've got the Greek feta, you got the

5:11

Greek yogurt. I

5:14

do love a Greek. A lot of stuff here.

5:17

I mean, again, I have very

5:19

minimal notes and very nice.

5:20

Minimal notes. Oh, thank you. I

5:23

don't know what I would ding you for. You've got the Vive

5:26

Kloko. A lot of pickled items too.

5:28

The jars are all pickled things. What

5:30

you don't see is in the pantry, I have

5:33

reserves of pickled things like sauerkraut

5:35

and kimchi and that kind of

5:38

stuff. But it hasn't been opened yet, so

5:40

it's not made its

5:40

way into the fridge. Yeah, okay. So

5:42

you're very, I mean, it seems like you're very healthy. There's

5:45

nothing junky in here. Probably

5:47

the pizza is probably the junkiest. Oh

5:50

yeah, okay. There's a box of pizza here. Where is this

5:52

from? Gosh, I think

5:54

it's one of those like, I think

5:56

it's like one of those words that you like make it

5:58

in front of you. I don't know. of the chains

6:00

where they make the pizza, you put the toppings on

6:02

and then they bake it for you for like seven

6:05

minutes. Was this like a, by the way,

6:07

you just described every single pizza restaurant. You're

6:09

like, it's that place.

6:10

No, no, it's the place where they have

6:12

the bar and you're like, I want pepperoni but I don't

6:14

want like weird shit and you just like make

6:17

it yourself.

6:17

Oh, got it. Yeah. Okay. So

6:19

it's like. But you tell them what to put on it. Okay.

6:22

So it's like a, it's like a subway sub shop

6:24

but for pizzas. Exactly. Okay,

6:26

got

6:26

it. And the names are all escaping me now and they're

6:29

different in different regions anyway. So. I

6:31

do love this museum of mustard

6:33

you have here. A museum of mustards.

6:36

I'm going to label that box Museum of Mustards

6:38

now because I dig that. That alliteration

6:41

just makes my heart sing.

6:42

Please. I mean, you have one, two, three,

6:44

four, four, maybe five

6:46

behind there. Yeah, something. There's a lot. I have

6:49

six different mustards. Are you. For all the

6:51

different purposes. Really? Are you using

6:53

these like for dressings and also for.

6:55

No, but just use them for toppings.

6:58

Hot dogs,

7:00

like kielbasas and different

7:02

sausages. Yeah. Yeah.

7:05

Sometimes I'll make like a mustard mayo sauce

7:07

for something. That's

7:09

tough for you when you talk about food

7:12

and people know you're a porn star and automatically

7:14

their mind wanders like when you said kielbasa

7:16

and hot

7:17

dogs. I was like, Dan,

7:19

don't say, don't say anything.

7:21

Don't say anything, Dan. Be cool. No, I

7:23

totally welcome the jokes. I mean,

7:26

if we're not having fun, what the fuck are we having?

7:29

I mean, yeah, a porn star that takes themselves

7:31

too seriously is just. It's not a good look.

7:34

I mean, anyone who takes themselves too seriously, but especially

7:36

a porn star, you got to have fun with it. Okay,

7:39

great. And yeah, I mean, again, then

7:41

you've got a nice little selection of fruits here.

7:43

And to

7:43

be honest, they're just kind of dying fruits

7:46

because here in Vegas, it's so fucking dry.

7:48

Yeah. Can we curse here? Have

7:50

I? Yes, you're allowed to curse. So

7:52

dry. No, no, we allow we allow porn

7:55

stars as guests, but they better be well behaved. But

7:59

it gets so dry that I

8:01

leave any of that on the counter and it just shrivels up.

8:04

Yeah, shrivels up. Again, my

8:06

mind is wandering shrivels up. What is this

8:08

over here, Lexi Luna? That,

8:11

OK, so on top is a bag

8:13

of spina copita that I had baked

8:16

and it was just leftovers. OK, cool. And

8:18

the bowl is my favorite dessert,

8:21

which is a. Wait, we're in the bowl here.

8:24

That sorry, I'm not pointing like you can see. It's

8:26

the white bowl where the spina copita is on top in

8:28

a bag. And it's all underneath.

8:30

Yeah. OK, gotcha. Yeah. Yeah.

8:32

So in that bowl is my favorite dessert, which

8:34

is a baked banana pudding

8:38

with coconut and a mango puree. Oh,

8:41

fun. I feel like the banana

8:44

pudding craze was

8:46

something that Magnolia bakery like put

8:48

on the map. I don't know if you've ever had Magnolia bakeries.

8:51

They have a banana mill away for a pudding thing

8:53

that is like just took over the world

8:56

for a while. And I'm here for it. The thing I

8:58

love about it is that you have to make it with like the

9:00

artificial Jello packets like you can't use

9:02

an artisanal Jello. It has to be like

9:05

Jello basic

9:07

banana flavor. Yeah, I

9:09

know. Totally like banana flavoring that was made

9:11

in a lab. This is like hand

9:14

smashed bananas. It's actually like,

9:17

oh,

9:18

it has the essence, more essence of banana.

9:20

As I say, the banana flavoring, I only like

9:22

in like the runs candies.

9:24

Runce candies. I don't know the runs. They're like

9:27

the orange one. They have a yellow banana one.

9:29

You've seen them. Wait, it's not. Hold on. I'm going

9:31

to look at it real quick. Use your favorite

9:33

search engine. Use

9:35

your favorite search engine. Alta Vista. Runt's

9:40

candy. You for sure had them. Oh,

9:42

yeah. These things.

9:45

Yeah.

9:45

Oh, OK. That's the banana flavor

9:47

I can handle. I can't handle it in like a

9:49

dessert with other real things like coconut

9:52

and mango puree.

9:54

That's so funny. So you're like, if I'm going

9:56

to go artificial, I want to go all the way. But it has

9:58

to be on its own. I get that. because artificial

10:01

mixed into stuff. Like when I'm having, if

10:03

I have like a Jack and Coke and it's, I

10:05

hate diet soda so much, like it kills

10:08

me. And if it's made with a diet

10:10

soda and like I get tricked by it,

10:11

I am

10:13

in a lot of pain. I'm angry, I'm on

10:16

Yelp, I'm giving reviews. If

10:18

I could give it half a star, I would. I would.

10:22

A lot of fun condiments here in the

10:24

door. Tell me what this big bottle

10:26

is in the back.

10:27

The big bottle is an Asian

10:30

sauce. I believe it is, it's

10:32

like really sticky, like molasses. It's brown.

10:35

Hoisin? No,

10:37

it's sweet. It's like a sweet.

10:40

Like a teriyaki-ish? More like

10:43

a sweet soy.

10:44

Oh, interesting. And it's really,

10:47

it's really sweet. And you need like a tiny

10:49

little bit of it, but it comes out in like one glob.

10:51

It's slow like molasses. So it

10:53

just is really hard to work with. So it's like one drop

10:55

does you in a stir

10:56

fry. So that's gonna, that's gonna

10:59

outlive you in that fridge. And

11:03

that is the smallest bottle they sell at the international

11:06

market. Interesting. By

11:08

the way, I love that you're going to this international market

11:10

because I'm assuming it's like run

11:13

by very traditional Middle Eastern people. A

11:15

little bit of everybody, yeah. And

11:17

then there's this porn star just walking around doing

11:20

her groceries. It's like

11:22

tea. Am I laughing? I

11:26

love this. I got a trout there the other day, a whole

11:28

trout. I think they have a big old fish market

11:30

in the middle of it. And it

11:32

was delicious. I gotta tell you, trout

11:35

is one of my favorite fish. It

11:38

is very well priced. It's not

11:40

too expensive. It's very flavorful. I

11:42

think if it was trout versus branzino,

11:45

I would take trout any day of the week. And

11:47

if trout was the same price as branzino,

11:50

then everyone would do that. But they're like, oh no, trout's

11:52

a cheap fish. It's shitty. No, but

11:54

objectively it tastes better than stupid

11:56

branzino. I have a war against

11:58

branzino. I can see that.

11:59

on this podcast. Because

12:02

I just think that, Bransino's a fine fish, but

12:04

the price point now at restaurants has just

12:07

gone out of control. Insane, insane. No

12:09

need. No, we don't need that. Well,

12:11

very

12:12

good fridge. You have

12:14

another fridge that you sent us. I did. I'm

12:17

going to. I sent you my drinks fridge. You sent

12:19

me the, you have a fridge devoted

12:22

just to drinks. Oh, hold

12:24

on, I'm in the wrong screen. There

12:27

we are. And there it is. Okay.

12:30

So,

12:31

okay. Where is this fridge that you have

12:33

a fridge devoted to drinks? This is in the garage.

12:36

Okay. This is in the garage. This

12:39

is, I mean, you fucking stay hydrated.

12:42

Look, it's there. It

12:44

takes a lot. Also in Vegas, it

12:46

is

12:47

rough out here, especially right. Like this

12:49

week we're starting to get into the hundreds and

12:51

into the hundred and teens maybe. So it's

12:54

just really important to stay hydrated, but

12:56

at the same time, let's really look

12:58

at what's here. Hydration is not necessarily

13:01

the main goal.

13:02

No. Like the middle above

13:04

the proteins is like all

13:06

just energy drinks. Yes.

13:09

Are any of these sponsors? Because

13:12

like you fucking,

13:14

you organize them like all the labels are

13:16

facing out. It's like a very-

13:17

There's a reason for that. There's a reason, besides my

13:20

like slight OCD and like, I love seeing

13:22

a collection all pretty in the same

13:24

way, in the same orientation. I even

13:27

keep my like face products with the label facing

13:29

out, just because I like the way that it looks. And

13:32

this is really mostly because I have

13:34

a lot of people coming in and out of my house, people

13:37

who are filming for me, people who I'm filming with.

13:39

And it's easy to just be like, go get what you want from the

13:41

drink fridge and it's not a jumble. So they can

13:43

see how many Red Bulls there are, sugar-free, et

13:45

cetera. Energy drinks, I don't metabolize

13:48

caffeine like everybody else. So energy drinks don't

13:50

do it for me. I don't get any of the boost. So

13:52

that's not for me. Those drinks are for

13:54

everybody who comes to visit.

13:56

Wait, hold on. Are you

13:58

talking about people visiting like friends? coming over

14:00

or are you saying like you do shoots in your house?

14:02

Both. So you'll do a shoot

14:05

in the house and then you'll be like, listen,

14:07

Jerry, it's about to get, there's

14:09

gonna be a lot of cardio in this next scene.

14:12

You might want to get a

14:15

Red Bull or a Celsius

14:17

or a waterloo. I have a selection in the fridge.

14:20

That's very thoughtful of you. You know,

14:22

that's part of, I think, being

14:24

in that older category of milf

14:26

and being, you know, that's

14:29

what it is, mom's host.

14:32

Oh my God. So you're a milf on

14:34

and off camera is what you're saying. I

14:36

think it's sexy. I think it's hot to be

14:38

a woman in charge and very

14:41

like confident in yourself. So yeah,

14:44

I feel like I'd suit it in my everyday life too.

14:46

Absolutely. And then, okay, so

14:48

on the top here, again, you have

14:51

pickles, you love pickles. Giant

14:54

jar of the biggest, and it's just so stupid

14:56

because I bought this huge jar. But

14:58

it doesn't fit in the other fridge. So I have yet

15:00

another jar where I'm taking these big pickles

15:03

and putting them and like transferring. It's

15:05

a mess.

15:05

When you're eating pickles in front of people, do

15:08

you feel pressure? Like they want you to take

15:10

a huge bite. Can't you just take a little

15:12

bite and it's fine? Does it annoy you that they're like

15:14

waiting for that moment? Crunch.

15:17

For the crunch. They want to see how much of

15:19

it you can fit in your mouth. I mean, I

15:21

feel like only a scumbag

15:24

would think of that. No, I can't say that

15:26

anybody's really felt, I felt the pressure of anybody's

15:29

eyes staring at me as a crunch to a pickle,

15:31

but.

15:31

Well, that's because we've never hung out before Lexi. Right.

15:34

Maybe I should just like stare into the camera

15:37

on my YouTube channel and just like crunch giant

15:40

bites of food. And that's like the whole channel.

15:42

I mean, look, I don't

15:44

think anyone's bridges the cross section of foodie

15:47

and porn star. Oh, 100% they have. Oh,

15:50

really? I'm sure. Come on. There's

15:52

so many. There's so many good crossovers

15:55

there. That's true. What if you were like

15:57

a like a high end foodie porn star? Like you went

15:59

to like three. to our Michelin restaurants and just shoved

16:01

all this food in your mouth. Just

16:04

a mukbang right there. I'm

16:07

sorry, this is for my YouTube channel. I gotta record this. Yeah,

16:10

seriously. You're at like Alinea in Chicago.

16:14

OK, cool. So on the top, and then you've got

16:16

some beers here. Are the beers for you or for

16:18

others? I do enjoy a Heineken every now and

16:20

then, but those beers honestly

16:22

are from the last time we had whatever holiday

16:24

we had, right? Like what was our last holiday?

16:27

Our last holiday was? Sure,

16:30

Memorial Day. Yeah, so it's like leftovers from

16:32

that. OK, and then you got that. It's

16:35

not really a thing in my life. You're

16:37

not a drinker? No. Yeah.

16:39

But I do have a lot of like, I have a little bar

16:42

just because it looks pretty and other people

16:44

drink. So I'm being

16:47

the mom. I'm making

16:49

sure everybody's taken care of.

16:50

That's very nice. You know, I'm a non-mom, but

16:53

I like to take care of my guests as well. And

16:55

I actually go so far, and some people think this is weird, but

16:57

I have a carton of cigarettes in my house because

16:59

I've had people over so many times and we're

17:01

drinking and eating. And they're like, god, I wish I had a cigarette. And

17:04

I'm like,

17:04

here you go. That is next level,

17:07

I will say. I tip my imaginary hat to

17:09

you, sir. Thank

17:11

you. And I don't smoke.

17:13

That's just for the guests. I will

17:15

bestow the cancer upon you. But

17:17

I shall not take the cancer myself. I shall

17:19

not imbibe. And then,

17:21

OK, what's with all the protein? Why

17:24

all the protein shakes? I

17:26

can't chew food in the morning. I'm

17:28

not a breakfast person. So if

17:31

I have a shoot in the morning, I'll grab one of those

17:33

on my way out since it's in the garage and

17:36

drive myself to set. And maybe I'll have half of it,

17:38

but just to get some energy in me before I

17:40

have to do all the work things.

17:42

OK, let's get into

17:44

it. First of all, great fridges. You're going to get a good rating,

17:46

I promise you. But OK,

17:49

now all the questions that have been on my mind. So

17:51

you started with when you go to work.

17:53

What is the typical?

17:56

What is the typical? So before I go on stage

17:58

when I do stand up. I don't like to eat dinner,

18:01

because I don't want to feel full. I

18:03

want to feel like I'm light on my toes. I

18:06

imagine before going

18:08

into a... I don't think I've ever

18:10

wanted to have a big meal

18:12

before having sex. That's not a thing.

18:16

But sex on camera, I'm assuming,

18:19

is very different from sex off camera. For

18:21

sure. But let's start

18:23

with the diet. What is your typical...

18:26

Do you have a rider? Is there like a rider?

18:29

How does it work? I love

18:30

these questions. I love that you are

18:32

very like not part of this world. This

18:34

is great. There is no rider, unfortunately.

18:37

Maybe in some instances when you're not

18:39

necessarily... Where you're

18:41

a porn star, but you're not working in a porn capacity, there

18:43

could be a rider, but no.

18:45

Like if you're at a festival or something like that, like

18:47

a beauty group? Yeah, no. No, they're

18:49

like, good luck. We'll see you in

18:51

an hour. Wow. Okay. So

18:53

you guys need to unionize and strike. You need a rider.

18:56

Funny is, I saw you striking with your boot. Oh

19:00

yeah. Breaking a leg.

19:03

So yeah, I think that you're

19:06

very much on point with that not eating before

19:08

you perform kind of thing. Like

19:11

that's very much me too.

19:13

Okay. So if you could have a rider of

19:16

things that you want in your green room. Yeah. Is

19:19

there a green room or you're just like hanging

19:21

out in your car? Most of the things

19:24

that we're doing are like in a bed

19:26

or in a house. So we rent us location

19:29

and then everybody kind of usually

19:31

they're pretty big houses. So there's plenty of space

19:33

for the one room we're shooting in. And then like each

19:35

of the girls, if it's multiple girls, each of

19:37

the talent gets their own room to like unpack

19:39

their shit and like have their own bathroom and

19:41

just like chill until it's time to do

19:43

stuff.

19:44

And, uh, but if I could have

19:46

a green room, I guess that is

19:48

the green room. Sometimes

19:50

you don't get a room. Sometimes it's just like, okay, this is

19:52

the safe corner. You can put all your shit over there, but there's really

19:54

nowhere to sit. But it's all part of being

19:56

on location and all that kind of stuff. If I can have

19:58

a rider,

19:59

though, I would probably want, you

20:02

know, when I was, when I was younger, I always thought

20:04

like the green room

20:06

was actually green.

20:08

And I personally have a fetish and

20:10

love for the color green. So I

20:12

think in my green room, I would actually want it

20:14

to be green. And that would be

20:16

part of my thing. Cause it is a very calming

20:18

color to me. It puts me in the right head space.

20:21

It just like envelops me and I just

20:23

want to be in the color green. And

20:25

I just love it so much. So I think that would

20:27

be like, if I could choose anything, I

20:30

would want a green serene room. I

20:33

love that

20:34

they're like, okay, yeah, Lexi, give us your

20:36

list of what you want for your green room. Any foods, any

20:38

drinks? And you're like, no, just paint it green.

20:41

Yeah, that's all I need. I just like, I

20:43

love color and it's something

20:45

that I incorporate into as much of what

20:47

I do. Like all my collections, everything I do is

20:49

in rainbow order and just like living my life

20:51

in color. So it's one of those really

20:54

important pieces that like, I feel it is

20:57

connected to my mental health is being in

20:59

the bright color, full sunshine.

21:01

So do you guys, all right. Is

21:03

there, I mean, are there snack breaks?

21:06

They bring, they bring a snack, like

21:09

sometimes they bring like a tray of, it

21:11

depends on how big the production is. It depends on how many

21:13

people there are depends. Like sometimes it's a four

21:15

hour day. You're literally coming in,

21:17

you're doing the dialogue quickly and

21:19

then you're having sex and you're out of there and it's not even

21:21

worth taking a break for food. But

21:24

for the most part, there's always like a

21:26

pack of gummies or a granola

21:28

bar or some,

21:31

I don't know, sometimes sometimes like a box of

21:33

cookies, you know, just little things.

21:35

Wow. So there's never been like a cook

21:37

like, oh, no, the closest

21:40

we get to that is like we get to order Postmates for

21:42

lunch. Okay, that's okay.

21:44

That's fun. Because no, there's no time for

21:47

somebody to cook and then also be quiet

21:49

while we're filming because you can't have it both

21:51

ways. That makes sense.

21:53

You don't want to hear like sizzling bacon in the back. Yeah,

21:55

right. And nobody wants to smell food cooking

21:57

while they're fucking. Wait

22:01

a second, speak for yourself. I

22:04

would love the smell of like a bolognese

22:06

on the... Just

22:09

steaming away while I'm having sex. Like

22:11

what if like I open my shirt and you got it with a

22:13

chicken noodle? It's

22:16

not the worst. Like is this scratch

22:17

and sniff? Oh

22:21

man, I imagine... It's funny, I wonder

22:23

if the guys are more insecure

22:25

about what they eat before than the girls

22:27

are? I think

22:28

they definitely are because you know when

22:30

you eat,

22:31

the blood goes to your stomach for digestion. So

22:34

they have to really be careful some of them when they

22:36

eat because the blood will not go to their penis,

22:38

it will go to their stomach. Huh,

22:40

wait a second, that's a fun fact

22:42

that I never thought about. Yeah, because

22:44

your blood changes as you're digesting

22:46

and it goes to places to support it. So

22:49

yeah, I know a lot of male talent that

22:51

won't eat on set.

22:53

Interesting. And here's a question.

22:56

This question, this is just for a friend, this

22:58

is not for me. But there's no way these guys

23:00

are lasting this long. Are they doing it

23:02

in separate cuts?

23:03

I mean, yes and no.

23:06

You have to also think this isn't like

23:08

super stimulating sex. So

23:10

they're keeping it hard, but they're coming into

23:12

my pussy at like an angle, right? So

23:14

then we're opening up to the camera. So everything's

23:16

happening, not in a natural position. So

23:18

I think that helps sometimes because it

23:21

doesn't feel too good.

23:23

It's a little bit easier to last when

23:25

it's like, okay, only 30 more seconds and

23:27

then I can change. Like it's a different mental game.

23:30

I mean, okay. Does

23:32

it take,

23:33

I'm sure you're asked this question a lot. And again, not

23:35

food related. I'm going to keep trying to bring it back to food, everyone.

23:37

I know it's a food podcast, but I have some porn questions

23:40

too. Does it take the joy

23:42

out of non-porn sex for you?

23:44

No, because that's part of like

23:47

there are certain certain

23:49

sex acts and things in sex that

23:51

I keep sacred for my personal life. And

23:53

I made that choice from the beginning and I was like, I'm

23:55

not going to do certain things and not going

23:57

to give everything to the fans because then

23:59

I think.

23:59

that it would very much overlap my real life

24:02

and my real sex and it would just

24:04

kind of muddy the waters if

24:06

you will in my brain. But

24:08

yeah, I can definitely see how if you've been doing

24:10

this since you were 18 and you're 30, maybe

24:13

that would change your perspective on sex

24:15

and how sex is,

24:17

what the what power sex has and

24:20

all that kind of stuff, you know. But I started

24:22

doing this when I was 26 which is very old

24:25

for starting in the industry. Why?

24:27

What happened that you started at 26? Well,

24:30

I was an elementary school teacher before this,

24:32

so I was teaching. Shut up, Lexi Luna. Yeah.

24:35

Shut up. Yeah, I taught elementary

24:37

school for five years, got my degree for

24:40

elementary ed, worked with special needs

24:42

students, worked with English language learners, worked with

24:44

all kinds of students and families and

24:47

schools and charter and non-charter, all

24:49

of it. I've done it all and it just wasn't for

24:51

me.

24:52

I mean, that's quite a pivot, Lexi.

24:55

I know, but I was always

24:57

meant to do more. Now I feel

24:59

like I get to reach so many more people and

25:01

I get to teach them about sex in a way that's not

25:04

shameful and that really like empowers

25:06

them and gives them real world

25:08

knowledge. You know, things like don't

25:11

finger a girl in the club without washing

25:13

your hands because you're probably going to give her an infection, you know,

25:15

like, and you don't think about these things.

25:17

That's I think I feel

25:19

like Nelson Mandela said that first. It's

25:22

just knowledge from the sages.

25:24

Yeah, you know,

25:26

but I think there's a lot of shame in what I

25:28

do. A lot of people try to put shame on me,

25:31

which I don't accept. But at the same time,

25:33

you know, teaching people how to get out of that shameful

25:35

pattern of sex is

25:38

shame is kind of

25:40

my thing. I really enjoy talking

25:42

to adults and kind of changing their perspectives on

25:44

sex and the way that their life has been

25:46

taught to them up to that point.

25:49

Interesting. I feel like

25:51

it would be very intimidating when

25:53

people go on dates with you. Do they do?

25:56

Have you ever gone on a date where someone didn't

25:58

know what you did for a living and then found out?

25:59

during the date? Yeah,

26:02

I have. Tell

26:04

me what that reveal is like. So, you

26:06

know, it's one of those things I don't ever really want to talk about

26:09

before because I don't, I want to get to, I

26:11

want to see somebody talk to me because there's

26:13

so many pieces in conversation that we miss

26:15

when we do it via

26:16

phones or text or whatever. I

26:19

want to see the struggle on your

26:21

face to try to come up with the next,

26:24

like, what are you going to say after I say that? And

26:26

that is very telling to me how you're going to

26:28

react, how your body will tell

26:30

me what you're thinking if you don't,

26:33

right? So, kind of keeping tabs on,

26:35

like, gauging,

26:37

can this person handle this? Because I know

26:39

it's a lot to,

26:40

to all of a sudden be like, oh,

26:43

and you have sex with a lot of other people

26:45

on the regular. I don't know if this

26:47

is really the kind of relationship I'm looking for, you know, so, but

26:49

I try to be honest about

26:52

expectations of relationships and

26:54

the lack of need for monogamy in

26:56

relationships, in my opinion. And that

26:58

part is really the thing that opens people's

27:01

eyes more than me saying I'm a porn star is

27:03

that, like, yes, I do porn. That

27:05

is a performance. And yes, it

27:08

is a physical performance, just like a dancer

27:10

dances and uses their legs. I use

27:12

my vagina to make this

27:14

performance. And so, when

27:16

I break it down like that, they're kind of like, okay,

27:19

like they can start to see how maybe

27:21

this is just me going to work. And

27:23

it's not me having an emotional relationship

27:25

and investment in what's happening between

27:27

between two stars, two performers.

27:30

I mean, have you here's the thing. I mean,

27:33

I've I'm an actor and I know a lot of actors

27:35

who've

27:36

fallen for their, you

27:38

know, co-stars and stuff like that.

27:41

And they ain't fucking they're just like having

27:43

a conversation in the scene. Yeah.

27:46

Has this ever happened where you've had

27:48

a relationship with one of the people that you're in a scene

27:50

with?

27:51

No, because I don't like to

27:53

date the pool of people that I work with. I think

27:55

that is where things get complicated.

27:58

And I think that's where professionalism breaks down. And

28:00

my main goal in all of this is

28:03

to have

28:03

a career and have a brand. And that's

28:05

what I really want to push. I don't, I don't

28:08

want to, I don't want to fuck where I eat, you

28:10

know? So you get it. And,

28:14

and, but there are times where the chemistry feels

28:16

real and it's like, Oh, like I could

28:18

see how if I

28:20

wasn't in this mental headspace

28:23

of being a performer, I could see how

28:25

people would fall in love on set because it is

28:27

very rosy colored glasses. You're in this perfect

28:29

position where everybody's consenting, everybody's

28:32

into whatever you want to do for the scene. And it's

28:34

like this golden opportunity to

28:36

just explore and be yourself and

28:38

to do it in a safe, sane and consensual environment,

28:40

really. And that's, that's the part

28:43

that I think can get a little addictive. It's

28:45

like, Oh, this is like, the scenario

28:48

is, is laid out for me already. I don't have to worry

28:50

about if he's into me or if this

28:52

situation, if he's okay with this role

28:54

play or whatever. Like it's already

28:55

predetermined and

28:57

just fall into it. And really enjoy it, but

28:59

that can also be the danger. I

29:02

mean, I could see it being fun. I don't know that I have it in

29:04

me to be a porn star, but I feel like if there was like

29:06

porn star camp, like, oh,

29:08

I like that couple of months, a

29:12

couple of months. And then you shoot your first scene.

29:15

Mom and dad dropped me off. Rainy

29:19

camp starts in the summer. Yeah, exactly.

29:23

I recently do a scene where I

29:26

got to use a cucumber. So that brings it back. And

29:28

she's, this girl was like throwing stuff out of the

29:30

fridge and I was like, food waste, right?

29:32

How dare she? And,

29:35

and then so there was some stuff on the ground and

29:37

I put a Granny Smith apple in her mouth

29:40

to shut her up as I was fingering him

29:42

from behind. And then she put me up on the counter and

29:44

I like grabbed a cucumber and started sucking it.

29:46

Well, thank

29:50

you for bringing it back to the podcast. You're welcome. And

29:54

I know my listeners were zoning out at all the talk

29:56

of

29:57

fucking multiple partners and whatnot. They were

29:59

like, bring it back to. with food. So,

30:02

the question I have to ask is, what

30:05

kind of cucumber was it? Was it a Persian cucumber?

30:07

Was it an English cucumber? You know, the English ones are the

30:09

enormous ones. The

30:10

Persian ones. Yeah, it was like Persian

30:13

one. It was kind of a mixture, honestly. And

30:15

the Persian ones are usually kind of like have this pointy,

30:18

the pointy ends. Yeah, by the way, I'm

30:20

Persian. That's why I'm laughing. Oh,

30:23

because I'm talking about your penis. Yeah, you're talking

30:25

about my pointy Persian cucumber. Actually,

30:28

I always thought that, I always had a lot of pride

30:31

because I thought the Persian cucumber was the enormous one.

30:33

And then I found out, no, no, no, no. That's the English one. The

30:35

Persian one is the tiny one that you can fit

30:38

in your back pocket.

30:39

This was a mix, because it wasn't like super

30:42

thick, like the English one.

30:44

Right, right. But it wasn't, yeah,

30:47

I'm just gonna stop talking

30:49

about the cucumber. No, this is why

30:52

we're here. I mean, look, it's funny. I have the food, you're

30:54

right. It's a little full circle because you have

30:56

a lot of cucumber. It's your happy

30:58

place. You love pickles.

31:00

Oh my gosh, I never even realized

31:02

it until this very moment. See,

31:04

it's Green Eggs and Dan making

31:07

dreams come true. All your friends,

31:09

man. Yeah, you and the cucumber

31:11

have always had a thing. Have

31:13

any of your elementary school students

31:16

found out what you do? I hope

31:18

not. When I taught fourth grade, which was the last

31:20

grade I taught, now they would be,

31:22

I think, seniors in high

31:24

school. Oh, it's gonna happen. Look,

31:28

I was on a Disney show. I played

31:30

falafel Phil. And

31:33

all the kids are now. Is it a voice? Oh,

31:37

it is a very racist voice like this. Sounds

31:40

like one of the guys who works at your international market,

31:42

I'm sure. But

31:45

basically all the kids who are watching

31:47

it are like 21 and 22 now. And

31:49

like, I'll be at a bar and someone will be like, holy

31:52

fucking shit, it's

31:53

falafel Phil. Falafel Phil.

31:56

So it's gonna happen to you. Someone's gonna be. Yeah,

31:58

no, I get it. I get recognized.

31:59

airports a lot

32:01

because I probably spend a lot of time

32:03

at the airport because I'm back and forth all the

32:05

time going to shoots and that kind of thing. But

32:08

yeah, I get I TSA

32:10

agent actually like I have

32:12

my bag I was waiting for my shit to come out and

32:14

he's like hey I was like

32:16

hi and he

32:18

was like are you Lexi Luna I

32:20

was like yeah he's like it's really nice to meet you

32:22

I was like cool you too and

32:24

then he was like have a nice day I was like you too. Okay

32:28

that's fun.

32:29

This begs the question. Out

32:32

in the wild do you prefer to

32:35

meet people who have no idea who you are

32:37

or people who know exactly who you are because there's

32:39

also maybe and again you

32:41

might say no Dan you're being an asshole

32:44

but there's something about the guy who knows

32:46

all the names of the separate of every single porn

32:48

star that you're like a little like

32:51

a little creepy. I mean I

32:54

guess I get it because we know

32:56

the names of a lot of movie actors it's

32:58

the same difference. The fandom is fandom

33:01

like you can list probably 10 famous

33:03

people right now just off the top of your head. It's

33:05

the same idea just some people are into seeing

33:08

those people naked and not yeah

33:10

it's in regular movies. Yeah but yeah

33:12

I know I would rather when it comes to meeting

33:15

people it's a mixed bag

33:17

because most of the time my fans are really great and

33:19

they're easy to communicate

33:21

with and they don't come up to me at inappropriate

33:24

times and they're not like oh my god it's Lexi

33:26

Luna you guys she's a porn star you

33:28

know. You're like guys I'm at church please

33:30

this is not the place. My

33:33

skin's already burning like we don't need to make me more embarrassed

33:36

but yeah I would much

33:38

rather somebody knows who I am

33:40

but also I feel like that's

33:42

all I get is like people who because I they

33:44

recognize me in the depths of no makeup

33:47

like I'm at the airport going on a

33:49

one-hour flight to

33:50

literally just go to the other place so it's like

33:52

they recognize me to the point where I don't feel

33:54

like I look like Lexi Luna at that moment

33:56

and they're still like into it so

33:58

interesting So fascinating.

34:01

I gotta start carrying like stickers or something. It's like, congrats,

34:03

you met me in person. I

34:05

know, seriously, that would be very fun.

34:12

Lexi had a sweet Asian sauce

34:15

in her fridge that we couldn't identify. But

34:17

we did a little digging after the episode and found

34:19

out it was actually something called Thai

34:21

sweet soy sauce, which begged the question,

34:24

what other soy sauces do the Thai

34:26

use? The answer, they have four

34:28

different ones. First is Thai

34:31

light soy sauce. This is the Thai equivalent

34:33

of a Chinese or Japanese soy,

34:35

your basic everyday soy sauce. Then

34:38

there's Thai mushroom light soy sauce,

34:40

a version of Thai light soy sauce that is flavored

34:42

with mushrooms for a little extra umami.

34:45

Then there's Thai dark soy sauce, which

34:47

is slightly sweet from added palm sugar

34:49

molasses. And then there's Lexi's sauce,

34:51

Thai sweet soy sauce. It's

34:54

like Thai black soy sauce with much

34:56

more added sugar. It has a thick syrupy

34:58

consistency, dark color, and very

35:01

sweet flavor. It's sometimes used in noodles

35:04

and stir fry dishes, as well as dipping

35:06

sauces. So that's what Lexi's

35:08

mystery sweet Asian sauce was. Also,

35:11

funny enough, her next movie is

35:12

going to be called Lexi's mystery sweet

35:14

Asian sauce.

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36:57

Okay, I'm going to get to the questions that I ask every

37:00

guest on my podcast, starting

37:02

with, what is your earliest

37:04

food memory? I

37:07

actually made this

37:09

on a previous podcast.

37:12

I made what's called the honey puff pancake.

37:16

Honey puff pancake is a very

37:19

easy mix of ingredients. Some

37:21

honey, some stuff to make a pancake,

37:24

some eggs, some flour, milk, etc. You

37:26

bake it in a cast iron skillet. It

37:28

puffs up. And then basically,

37:30

when you pull it out,

37:32

you put a mixture of lemon juice and

37:34

sugar. So it makes like a little glaze

37:37

and you kind of put that on top. And that's

37:39

the whole thing. So it's just, it's like a bunch

37:41

of eggs. That's the protein. And

37:44

then it just puffs up and it's

37:46

called the honey puff. And it's one of those Saturday

37:48

morning. It's great to reheat,

37:50

like packed with protein, don't have to worry

37:52

about.

37:53

And that's an easy breakfast for somebody who doesn't like to eat

37:55

breakfast.

37:56

Okay, couple things. Number one, I think

37:58

you're describing a Dutch baby. That's

38:00

the other name for it is Dutch baby. I don't

38:02

know. Found it in a newspaper. OK,

38:04

got it from a newspaper. But

38:07

wait, how is that your that's your earliest food

38:09

memory from when you were a kid?

38:10

Yeah. So that was like

38:12

a recipe that was like clipped

38:15

out and like pasted on the

38:17

cabinet door. Right.

38:18

Like, did you ever do that?

38:20

That's cute. Yeah. Yeah. So, you

38:22

know, we're dating ourselves. We're like,

38:24

you know, you'd cut it out of the local paper

38:27

and put it on

38:28

with a magnet. Yeah, no, absolutely.

38:30

I love a person. I don't know what's

38:32

a sexier name, Dutch baby or

38:34

honey puff pancake. They're both pretty

38:37

fucking hot. HPP. I

38:40

do love those. They're delicious and they're very fun

38:42

to make and they do rise and it's like exciting. And

38:44

it's so exciting. But then like

38:46

after a minute, they're just sad. It's like a

38:48

souffle, but

38:50

it is. It's actually it's exactly

38:52

like a souffle. It's just you don't have the

38:55

you don't beat the egg whites to a stiff

38:57

peak.

38:58

So. Oh, yeah. Tell

39:00

me about that stiff peak. Lexi, Lexi,

39:02

Lexi, keep it together.

39:04

Please stop

39:06

it. But the. He actually

39:09

we have nine more questions to get to. All

39:13

right. What is your death

39:15

row meal? Let's think of a reason that

39:17

Lexi is in death on death row.

39:20

OK, you get to a shoot.

39:22

You're in the middle mid scene and

39:24

someone starts making chicken parmesan on the other room,

39:27

you fucking lose your mind. You're

39:29

like, not in my set. And then you

39:32

you go kill that person. Now you're on death row. What

39:35

are you going to have as your death row meal? Probably

39:39

caviar service. Really?

39:41

Yeah, that's fun. I like

39:43

that. Something a little different. Like I could have

39:45

so much of it before. Yeah,

39:48

that's a good one because then the person is going to

39:50

be out of business from spending all the money on that.

39:53

Boom. Double whammy. What's the best

39:55

high end meal you've ever had? So you

39:57

live in Las Vegas.

39:59

Do you I do I have a place in both LA

40:02

and Vegas and go back and forth between

40:04

the two give me what? Stone

40:08

crab at the water grill in LA Stone

40:12

crab stone crab is

40:14

a Miami Yeah,

40:17

and they have one in Vegas Joe

40:20

stone And

40:22

what's the LA one?

40:24

There's it's they have it in a few places,

40:26

but it's the water grill in Santa Monica.

40:28

I believe oh, yeah Yes, the water grill. Okay,

40:31

fantastic. That's a nice one, too Yeah,

40:34

so I mean living in LA are you on

40:36

the strip a lot or do you stay off? Cuz there's

40:38

actually really good food options off the

40:40

strip as well. Yeah,

40:41

I I live in porn Valley

40:46

What's porn Valley I don't even know Well,

40:49

you know in LA the porn Valley is where

40:51

all the porn is made and yes Yeah,

40:54

and so that's that's them like

40:56

main drag where all of us are Wait,

40:59

so are you in LA or are you in Vegas currently?

41:01

I'm in Vegas, but I will be in LA tomorrow. Oh

41:05

Okay, got it. So you live in the Valley got

41:07

it. What's your favorite restaurant in the Valley? There's

41:09

a lot of wonderful restaurants popping up there.

41:12

Um, what do I like in the Valley? I If

41:15

I'm going somewhere every day, it's honestly Joe's

41:18

Pizza Hmm those pizza

41:20

is the best Like big

41:23

slices size of your head kind of type

41:25

of pizza in New York style and

41:27

that is Definitely, they know

41:29

me by name at this point.

41:30

Wait, do you go to the Joe's

41:32

Pizza? That's in Sherman Oaks?

41:35

Yes Okay, so I'm gonna turn you

41:37

on to something really cool Right because

41:39

that Joe's Pizza is great and I do love

41:41

Joe's Pizza It's that's the one that famous

41:44

Joe started on Carmine Street in New York City And

41:47

it's very very good pizza, but right next

41:49

to it.

41:50

There's a place That

41:53

is making These

41:55

like puff pastry things called break

41:58

up because yes. Yes

41:59

Every time I go in there, they're

42:02

already sold out. Really?

42:04

Yes, they have like nothing. It is a morning

42:06

game. It is a morning game, absolutely.

42:09

And what I'll typically do is

42:12

I will sometimes order the burreca and

42:14

then I'll go get a slice of pizza

42:17

like a garbage human being. And

42:19

while I wait for my burreca, I'll be sitting at Joe's

42:21

Pizza.

42:22

Okay, let me tell you what I do on that strip. I

42:24

get the slice of pizza. First

42:26

I go order ramen at the

42:28

place next door to pizza in between burreca and pizza.

42:30

Oh

42:30

my God, you're disgusting. I know. So

42:33

I get a ramen. While they're making the ramen,

42:35

I go and order the pizza. I eat

42:37

the slice of pizza because it will be ready before the ramen.

42:40

And then I go next door and I sit outside and

42:42

I eat the ramen.

42:43

Oh my God, we have the same routine, but

42:45

you do the ramen and I do the burreca. Oh

42:47

my God, it's like when Harry Metzell. If you

42:50

did this IRL. Seriously, that

42:52

would be very fun. That is

42:54

the parking lot of doom. It is the worst

42:56

parking lot. It's disgusting. It's

42:59

Dante's fifth rung of hell. It's

43:01

awful. Okay, so what is

43:03

the best low end meal that

43:06

you've ever had?

43:07

I just love the two

43:09

cheeseburger meal at McDonald's. Whoa,

43:12

you basic ass bitch.

43:15

Ha ha ha ha. Yes. I

43:18

love it. I love it. And it's not a

43:21

double cheeseburger, it is two cheeseburgers.

43:24

I love that you said that because

43:26

I am on your side here. I think that

43:28

a double patty in a burger is always, the

43:30

ratios are off. Yep, it's not right. I never

43:32

like that. You need another piece of bread in between it if you're gonna have two patties.

43:35

Exactly, I'm with you. Like the Big Mac. Like the Big

43:37

Mac, exactly. What is

43:39

your, well you're not that much of a drinker,

43:42

so.

43:43

No, but on our occasions. Okay,

43:45

so what's your favorite drunk food when you're drinking? Nachos.

43:48

Nachos? Easy to share, easy

43:51

to take a little bit or a lot and not get like

43:53

food shamed for eating too much. Like

43:55

a fully loaded nacho situation. Yes, everything.

43:58

And my preference is melted cheese, nachos.

43:59

instead of shredded, but it'll take shredded.

44:02

No, you need to have the garbage melted

44:05

cheese on. The one that comes in like the five can. Yeah,

44:08

exactly. I want it a little, I want it to,

44:11

like the squeeze bottle thing that like, gets

44:14

the gross sound as it comes

44:15

out. I want there to be fake green chilies

44:18

in it, like this is nacho cheese. Yes,

44:20

like Goya canned fake. What

44:25

is, do you have a hangover cure?

44:27

I've had French toast sticks from like Burger

44:29

King or, what's the one with Carl's

44:31

Jr. I was like, what's the one where Paris Hilton

44:34

ate that messy burger? I

44:36

don't think I've ever had French toast sticks. You

44:39

are missing out. Does it taste like a churro

44:41

kind of? You know, a little bit,

44:43

but it's a lot more bread than it is

44:45

like dough. Okay, got it. It's

44:48

more bready. Got it. But

44:50

it has to be sticks, it cannot be a full slice. I

44:53

love how anything you say sounds hot and

44:55

sexy, you're like, it's more bready. Oh,

44:59

it's so bready. Well,

45:01

you know, I talk to the fans all day in

45:04

this sexy breathy voice. You can

45:06

just turn anything into sexy.

45:08

It's like, absolutely. Thursday's

45:10

garbage day. It's like, oh

45:13

yeah, all right.

45:14

What are you going to take out for garbage day? Oh,

45:18

make sure your recycling's in the blue bin. I

45:21

think you have a future as a voice actor

45:23

for porn. If we ever need anybody to dub

45:25

over moans, I think.

45:27

I can do, I'll dub them over for different languages.

45:31

Like, you know, for the South American

45:33

market, it's not oh, oh, it's aye

45:36

aye. So

45:37

I'll be the aye aye guy.

45:39

Who is your favorite celebrity

45:41

food personality? I have

45:44

a personal friend, chef. He's

45:47

a pastry chef, George Geary. He

45:50

does the morning shows in like San

45:52

Diego and he has Amazon's

45:54

number one cheesecake book. And he's just

45:57

a stand up guy and an excellent

45:59

cheesecake.

45:59

cake. Shout out to George Geary. Let's

46:02

give give out his Instagram so people can see it.

46:04

It's George Geary.com. I'm not sure about his Instagram.

46:06

I don't I do not have Instagram on my

46:09

phone if I'm being 100% honest, because it

46:11

is bad for my mental health. So I download

46:13

it for like a time where I need to upload

46:15

something and I delete

46:16

it. Good for you. That's the fucking

46:18

way to do it. Yeah, good for you. It's

46:20

got to the point where I've been losing my account so

46:23

freaking often. I'm on my fifth Instagram

46:25

in eight years now almost.

46:27

Yeah, I was shocked, actually, because I did look at your Twitter.

46:30

Your Twitter has got a lot of it's got a lot of

46:32

action going on.

46:33

There's like naked pictures of you on it. And I'm like,

46:35

how is this allowed? I don't get it.

46:37

Twitter is allowed on Twitter. Oh, really?

46:40

Yeah, it goes. It's part of the terms of service.

46:42

You can be nude. Oh, okay. Well,

46:44

that's why we're all on Twitter. Thank you, Elon

46:46

Musk. Well,

46:49

that was that was the previous guy who originally

46:52

made the terms of service. Yes, creepy.

46:54

Jack Dorsey. It's at chef Gary

46:57

G E a r y like the car gear. Okay,

47:00

cool. What is your desert island food?

47:02

So you're trapped on a desert island, one food

47:04

you're going to eat for the rest of your life. You

47:06

will never get tired of it. What is it?

47:08

Corn. Corn. She

47:11

could even make corn sound sexy. Corn.

47:13

Corn always. Always. Really? Cob

47:16

cream frozen can elote all of it. Whoa.

47:19

Every way I will have corn every way.

47:22

I'll even I will even have

47:24

the corn on the cob of the frozen corn, which we

47:27

all know is trash and is always mushy and

47:29

doesn't have any flavor. But I will even in a pinch,

47:31

take that corn.

47:32

Wait, hold on the corn on the cob

47:34

that's frozen. What do you mean? Yeah, like in the freezer. They're

47:36

like the little they're like little 60 six

47:40

of a cob. And they're tiny. And

47:42

they're like, they're meant to be like boiled

47:44

on on the. I

47:46

know what you're talking about. Those little weird

47:49

corns. Not not the little corns

47:52

like the salad corns. Yeah. What

47:54

are those fucking salad corns? What are those?

47:56

They're so weird. I don't think they're corn.

47:59

They feel like something else.

47:59

that's shaped into corn. They just mold them into corn.

48:02

Yeah, it's like the Pringles of corn. No,

48:07

I'm talking about actual ears of corn, they're just cut

48:09

into like small like hand-sized

48:11

pieces.

48:12

Oh, gotcha. In the first section of where

48:14

frozen corn is, they got the bag kernel corn

48:17

and then they've got the ones that are actually on the cob. You

48:19

know, yesterday I was at Trader Joe's and I saw they had

48:21

an elote, frozen elote, which

48:24

I was like, I don't know about that one Trader

48:26

Joe's.

48:26

Yeah, it's a little weird. But I love, do you ever make elote?

48:30

Sometimes there's a great dip called everything

48:32

and the elote, I believe from Trader

48:34

Joe's. Oh my God. It's a great dip.

48:36

So you don't have to like do all the work, you can just reap the

48:39

benefits. That's cute.

48:41

I like that. Is there a food you can't stand

48:43

eating? Anything mushy, anything that tastes like raw

48:45

tuna on the ends or like texture

48:47

tastes.

48:48

I just can't do the like

48:51

the mealy. Yeah,

48:54

like thinking of sushi, I just hate sushi. I

48:56

think that's what it is. Oh

48:58

really? Yeah, like that. And

49:00

when I go to a restaurant and I order salmon,

49:03

I always have to make sure that they cook it all

49:05

the way because usually salmon is cooked, prepared

49:07

medium well

49:09

in restaurants and I am not about that life.

49:11

Holy cow, that's really interesting. What about with meat? Do

49:14

you like meat medium rare or rare or anything? I

49:16

do medium to medium well. Medium well

49:18

for a burger because honestly, it's too much

49:21

juice and everything else in the burger and

49:23

just sops everything up. So I do medium well to

49:25

have less of the red. Yeah. I'm

49:27

getting out of my burger and I'm like,

49:30

it's so funny. We're opposites on that. I like it.

49:32

Like I want the heart still beating on the steak when it's

49:34

broken. Yeah, it's just too.

49:38

There's not enough like thickness and consistency

49:42

of that. I need something to chew. Okay

49:44

Lexi. You're like,

49:48

I deal with all the pieces that are like

49:50

the double entendres. You're

49:52

like, I deal with mushy liquids at work all

49:54

the time. All I want

49:56

is something solid when they get

49:59

home.

49:59

It's funny because my favorite dessert is a

50:02

boiled banana cake, which is inherently

50:04

mushy. Yeah. But

50:07

it's different because it's like the text of

50:09

the banana comes together more firmly

50:11

so it doesn't feel like it's breaking apart

50:13

in my mouth. And I think that's really the main

50:16

thing about like, like when you think of a tuna roll,

50:19

that tuna on the inside, if you eat it by itself is just

50:21

like pieces.

50:23

Okay, I see what you're saying, but I think it

50:25

might, correct me if I'm wrong, does

50:27

it have to do with maybe you're okay

50:30

with sweet mushy, but you're not okay with savory

50:32

mushy?

50:33

Could be. I do have a huge sweet tooth. It

50:36

was a toss up between corn and candy for

50:38

my desert island. Oh my god. For

50:40

the last meal thing. It's hot and candy. You

50:42

know, it's funny. I hate candy. I can't

50:44

stand candy. Why? I'm

50:46

a chocolate person. Okay.

50:47

I mean, I like it all. Anything

50:50

that literally has sugar I'm in. Yeah. Hot

50:52

and candy.

50:53

I went to Chicago and I went to the

50:55

carnival restaurant, which is fantastic.

50:58

And then I saw they were taking out like cotton

51:01

candy to people and I was like, what's with the cotton candy? I

51:03

don't see it on the menu. And they're like, oh, it's for birthdays. I was like,

51:06

I'm going to need

51:06

one of those. You're like, it's. It's hard

51:08

to me. I'm going to need one. You're like, it's suddenly

51:11

my birthday. Yeah. Like all

51:13

of a sudden I was like, you can charge me whatever you

51:15

want on the bill. I need a glass full

51:17

of cotton candy and some

51:19

popcorn, caramel popcorn.

51:21

That's so funny. Okay. So

51:23

last question, first of all, before we get to

51:25

the last question, I must say I had no idea

51:27

going in how this was going to go.

51:29

It's always a crap shoot

51:32

when it's like someone who's who I don't know,

51:34

especially a crap shoot when it's someone from

51:36

an industry. I don't know. This was a delight.

51:39

I had so much fun with you too. And

51:41

it was so insightful. I learned a lot

51:43

about about the food and porn

51:46

industry, which, you know, severely lacking.

51:48

There needs to be a craft service off site so

51:50

that the smells don't get in the way of

51:52

the performance. Agreed. I'm

51:55

going to I'm going to I'm going to be the I'm

51:57

going to run the union. I'm going to take over.

51:59

I think you guys need a leader. Oh,

52:02

that would be awesome. I think,

52:05

and you know, a male leader would really,

52:07

really make it a whole lot easier

52:09

for all of us poor, little,

52:11

porn people. Yes, yes. You

52:14

can call me the Union Pimp. Hilarious.

52:18

Okay. Yes, please

52:20

come unionize us. I would love to. But

52:23

before I do, we're up to my last question.

52:26

My favorite question, which is, what

52:29

are your restaurant pet peeves? Children.

52:34

Great one. Number one.

52:36

Great one. I don't think anyone has ever said that

52:39

on the podcast. And that's a perfect answer. That is the

52:41

realest answer. Yeah. And everybody wants

52:43

to just pretend that they don't mind when

52:45

children scream in restaurants, but they mind.

52:48

They only don't mind when it's their own child because

52:50

they can't control it. Restaurants

52:52

are not a place to teach your children manners. You

52:54

do that at home and then you bring them out to

52:56

restaurants so that they can practice the manners

52:59

they already know. They are not learning

53:01

manners in a restaurant.

53:03

Preach. I'm snapping my fingers. Thank

53:06

you. Preach. That's

53:08

one of those things that is unnecessary.

53:11

It is too expensive to dine out for

53:13

me to be listening to your brat kid screaming

53:15

about his iPad.

53:17

I am 100% with you. And

53:19

then the iPads on and the sound is on. Go

53:22

fuck yourself. Yeah.

53:24

I'm with you a million percent. In fact, I'm going

53:26

to take it a step further.

53:28

I don't want to hear you talk about your

53:30

kids. Yeah. If I'm if you're

53:32

eating with me, I don't hear about

53:34

how they did in school. I don't want to hear about how they

53:36

did in sports. I don't want you to have their

53:39

fucking live cam on your phone

53:41

of them sleeping in their stupid crib. Yeah.

53:43

With their stupid nanny cam

53:46

hovering over them at every fucking second so you

53:48

can make sure they're still breathing. Yeah.

53:50

No, we don't give a fuck. I

53:53

have zero fucks. I've actually left restaurants

53:56

because they said, well, we're a family friendly restaurant

53:58

because I've asked them to move me twice.

53:59

I was like, oh, well, then I'll just find somewhere

54:02

else to eat because I'm just not like I'm not

54:04

going to sit there with a party of 16 fucking

54:07

eight year olds who just got off of baseball

54:10

practice. Like, it's not not going to happen because

54:12

I told I was like, I don't talk about topics that are safe

54:15

for children to hear. So news

54:17

and they were like, oh, we're a very family friendly restaurant.

54:19

I was like, I'll find somewhere else to eat. Yeah. Sit

54:22

next to children.

54:23

You know, the two times that I've. Well,

54:25

no, that's not true. I asked I asked

54:27

to move a lot in a restaurant, but one is

54:30

one is for kids. The other the last

54:33

time was a

54:34

table of dudes sat down. I

54:38

know.

54:38

And they had such strong cologne

54:41

on. Yeah, that is. I was like, this

54:43

is going to ruin my meal. It's going to ruin

54:45

my meal. And I had to get out of there. Yeah.

54:48

So I moved. I've actually I've been

54:50

asked to move because I've

54:52

been in this restaurant and several different occasions where

54:54

I had a seat in different parts of the restaurant and

54:56

I know what the service is like in different parts of

54:58

the restaurant. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no,

55:00

no. I am a local. You're not shoving me in

55:02

the fucking back with everybody else who sucks.

55:05

I want a main dining room at

55:07

the bar. Like I tell them when I make a reservation,

55:09

I know exactly where I want to sit.

55:11

Wait, where is this? Piero's. Oh,

55:14

Piero's. OK, got it. I

55:16

love it. Well, again, Lexi, thank you

55:18

so much. I look forward to going

55:21

to a trash strip mall and getting barracas

55:24

and pizza and ramen with you. Yes, we

55:26

should do it.

55:27

Full circle. Full circle. Met in real

55:29

life. Tell

55:32

all the listeners where they can find you. You

55:35

can find everything Lexi Luna at I want

55:37

Lexi dot com. And that's Lexi spelled

55:39

L-E-X-I. Fantastic.

55:43

And I will say from personal

55:45

experience, since I met Lexi over Twitter,

55:47

her work is profound. It

55:50

is a it is a sight for the

55:52

eyes.

55:53

I'm I'm a sweet, sensual

55:56

lover, and I just want everybody to

55:58

be entranced by me.

55:59

So if you're looking for something that's like

56:02

not crazy and rough and all

56:04

that, I'm your sweet central MILF. Yeah,

56:07

enough of the browsers, okay? Take

56:09

a break from the browsers. Yeah,

56:11

browsers is great,

56:13

but it is also like, you know, everybody's

56:16

got their own style and I hope to find my people.

56:18

Yeah, you need you need to, if

56:20

we can bring it back to food, you don't always want

56:23

to have fine dining. You don't always want to have

56:25

a trash slice of pizza,

56:28

but you need to at least diversify

56:30

your porn portfolio. Just like I encourage

56:33

you to diversify your food portfolio.

56:35

What an excellent segue into the end.

56:42

It

56:44

is Craig Kilborn inviting you

56:46

to enjoy my new uplifting

56:49

podcast, The Life Gorgeous.

56:52

The Life Gorgeous is a comedic lifestyle podcast

56:54

that celebrates drinking in moderation,

56:57

deep breathing, and the magic

56:59

of crumbled blue cheese. Listen

57:02

to The Life Gorgeous with Craig Kilborn on

57:04

Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or

57:06

wherever you get your podcasts. Let

57:09

the healing begin.