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Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys

0:03

We Guys Book. I'm

0:05

Christina, I'm Karn. We're Sorry about

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Last Night, the anti slut shaming

0:10

podcast I never stopped.

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Welcome to another episode of Guys

0:18

We Fucked, the anti sluck shaming podcast

0:21

from Luminary Media. I'm Karin

0:23

Fisher. I'm Christina Hutchinson and

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you can find us on all social media

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at Sorry About Last Night, which is our comedy

0:30

duo. It's s r y about Last

0:32

n y T on Twitter specifically, and

0:35

on all social media. My handle is Philanthropy

0:38

Gal and mine is Christina hutch Follow

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us, won't you? Oh? Hello

0:43

everyone, we are here with

0:45

Chris Stephano Hide.

0:49

You really spread your legs wide as soon as we pressed

0:53

it's healthy, guys, get it checked? Oh I didn't

0:55

know if it was healthy to air it out like that. Do

0:57

you get your prostate checked? I thought you had to wait till you're

0:59

like forty. You yeah, you

1:01

should wait to your forty. I just don't

1:04

do it for fun. The thing is, ever,

1:06

since I gained like medical knowledge in school,

1:09

I just know too much about everything,

1:11

So I just like, like I got a colon oscar

1:13

pe last year I'm thirty four and

1:15

they're like, yeah, you're fine. I was like, well, you know, I just want

1:17

to take a look Sie there would come back when you're fifty. I

1:20

was like, cool, but it just helps

1:22

me to like, I don't know, I don't know I'm an idiot.

1:25

Well I don't think you're an idiot at all, but you do

1:27

get what's the thing where you well?

1:31

Yes, but also there's

1:34

been a lot of awakening good

1:37

old chrissy bit hips I feel.

1:39

I felt like I felt like like last year I got

1:41

a colonoscopy and I prostrate. I got

1:43

all that stuff checked last year upon your

1:46

request. Upon yeah, my doctors were like

1:48

you're a young man. I was like, I know, but I

1:50

want you to look at my hands, tell me touch

1:52

my ass. You're fingering me and they

1:55

But then I realized, like being a hypochondriac

1:57

and all that it's all I kind of like just

2:01

misdirected narcissism, and it's like

2:03

all that all that energy there

2:05

is just like no, we're all gonna

2:08

die. It's just gonna happen. Like why am I

2:10

wasting this energy? Checking my pulse,

2:12

checking my blood pressure, I'm like, what do I have cancer.

2:14

If you do, you do. If you don't, you don't. Just use

2:16

it for my kid, use it for my kid in my career.

2:19

So it's like so now it's like listen,

2:22

I mean you hit the full opposite of

2:24

hypochondra. I mean like, if you have cancer, we have

2:26

advancements that can stop a lot of them.

2:29

Things like instead of wasting the energy of

2:31

getting a colonoscopy, just take your kid to the park,

2:36

take on the swing instead of you know, waiting

2:38

to get your asshole fingered by a doctor to tell

2:40

your prostates not large because you're a

2:42

young man. I'm a young man. And it's also

2:44

like, yeah, I take It's like one of those

2:46

things where it's like take precautions. I try to eat right

2:48

and exercise and do all the things you're supposed to do. But

2:51

it's like and that's it, Like my kid, something

2:53

happened to my kid. Then it's like we have to focus

2:55

like fucking energy on

2:57

this. But as long as my kids find the career

3:00

is fine, I'm like, whatever ship happened.

3:02

So before you had a kid, you

3:04

were just walking around just sweating

3:07

that you had all the things as much as

3:09

I thought. You know, I'm a

3:11

giving person. I give to the homeless, I

3:13

volunteer, I do. I'm

3:15

the person who always and it's really

3:18

my mother just always used to do this,

3:20

so I was just like second nature, like I always

3:23

especially in the summertime, I'm always giving water to the

3:25

homeless. Isn't that crazy, like

3:28

buying water bottles very always like putting

3:30

out a bowl or laugh

3:33

this up, Harry, come on, um

3:36

No, I always just buy. Like if I see a homeless

3:38

person outside, like a Delhi and I'm going into

3:40

the deli, I always buy water for that.

3:42

So I'm like, oh I do. Yeah, but I'm like, oh, that's

3:44

just that's just what my mother used to do. So

3:47

so I was like, oh, I'm a good person. But then it was like also

3:50

like the tradition, that's

3:53

what my mother used always to buy homeless waters

3:55

and bagels. That's what she would do. Scot.

3:58

Yeah, it started being just homeless people just congregate

4:00

on my student, They're like this lady just

4:03

gives out bagels. So

4:06

we had you back on the podcast

4:09

because we fucked, but we sucked

4:11

after we did. I'm finally

4:13

back in the sex chamber. Started

4:15

here and then it went downstairs. It was

4:17

a little was it over there a little bit? I forget

4:20

I remember it being on the and

4:22

I find out why I'm sitting on it. So I'm just used

4:24

to it by now. It really always does like it's

4:26

just but

4:30

that was that was last year. I would

4:32

say it was, Yeah,

4:35

that was? But did we Chicago?

4:38

Was that after? Before? That was after? Yeah,

4:41

Chicago. I definitely want to have sex with you, but I assign this

4:43

infection, which is it common thing with me? Why

4:45

does that have to do with sex? Because I just

4:47

usually like I just was

4:50

dealing. It's probably was in my mind at that

4:52

time, but I was like, oh, I want to try to like make

4:54

a move, but like I actively, like my throat hurts

4:56

and I just feel affected. So I'm

4:58

just gonna don't sleep. I felt that there

5:01

was like a flirty. There was like a yeah

5:03

I wanted was raining out? Like I definitely would

5:05

have great rain after the hotel

5:08

sex? Oh you wanted to do it in the afternoon? Sure?

5:10

Yeah, I was feeling it. Then I

5:12

needed a day. Quoll Oh my god, was

5:15

it you or was it was it your brain

5:17

or was it your body that needed the day? Quill here, let

5:20

me tell you again more

5:22

awakening I think awaken. Well,

5:24

I think awakening because I think I

5:26

think, and I don't know if this is true. It

5:28

just could be in my own mind. But I just feel so

5:31

much better as like a human being

5:33

over there. I would say the last six months

5:35

five to six months, Um, I

5:38

think I was not dealing, even

5:40

though I was, you know, not

5:42

publicly, but like to my friends and family, was like I don't

5:44

care about I wanted to break up with

5:46

my kids. Mom. It was like we we weren't supposed

5:49

to be together anyway. It was a one night stand

5:51

and we have a kid, like she's nuts and all this stuff. But I was

5:53

really taking it hard. I just wasn't

5:55

like I just wasn't like when

5:57

I my last scarfend before that, like I was dead.

6:00

This stated with Carly when actually devastated

6:02

on the floor like I can't handle

6:05

this, and it was like and that was like I'm never gonna let this happen

6:07

to me again, and blah blah blah blah. And then I think

6:09

like with Jasmine, my daughter's mother, I

6:11

was like, oh, I'm like whatever, we broke

6:13

up. I'm sad, but it's like it's not like it was with Carly.

6:16

But like I was just not process was

6:19

daughter's mother like fucking traumatized.

6:22

It can be said in other ways, like it doesn't have to always

6:24

be like crying on the floor side. It can just be like a

6:26

kind of a lingering sadness, which sometimes

6:28

it's worse. It's worse. So like I noticed,

6:30

like you know, I went from like Jesus

6:33

like two hundred and twenty

6:35

pounds like to fifty close to having

6:38

all this sex that was completely like

6:41

just like you know, I don't want

6:43

to say meaningless, but I just wasn't present

6:45

for anything anything.

6:47

I wasn't present. And then about

6:49

five months ago, and I was continuing on

6:52

with this lifestyle just but not you

6:54

know, just being like you were numbing yourself as other

6:57

bullshit. It's this, it's that's whatever, because I'm like I

7:00

don't really care about her. And then once

7:02

I found out that she had another boyfriend,

7:05

it all kind of was like wait a minute,

7:07

no, no, no, no no, no, Like I ruined my fucking

7:09

family, so it was like crazy.

7:12

So I was like holy shit. And then

7:14

and then I was like fuck, like I

7:17

can that's

7:21

that's what That's what I

7:23

was like dealing with. But

7:26

then now I'm at a point where it's like, you know, it still

7:28

makes me sad at times, but like I totally

7:30

understand. I accept everything.

7:32

I accept, you know what when I get my time

7:34

with my daughter in our relationship and

7:37

uh supporting my daughter's mother's

7:39

relationship and her I've never really

7:41

met her boyfriend or whatever they

7:44

are, but I just I

7:46

would. But it's just like really about like you know, I

7:50

don't think she really didn't yet, which I understand. But

7:53

it was one of those things where I had to like look myself

7:55

in the mirror and be like no, Chris, like you

7:57

had a big part in fucking this up

7:59

too. It wasn't just your daughter's mom

8:02

being like you cheated on me on the road,

8:05

you know. It was like you know, you had all this

8:07

responsibility. And then once I kind

8:09

of dealt with that, then I was like, you know what, like this

8:11

is my new life now, Like I have a home

8:13

for me and my daughter, we have separate lives.

8:16

Let me get me healthy and now

8:18

it's like, you know, working out

8:20

all the time, like mentally very healthy

8:23

used to be. I think I talked about this on the podcast.

8:26

Maybe you and I talked about it, like I would have sex with a girl

8:28

and then never hear from them again. Yeah. Done.

8:31

But now there's been like a couple of return customers

8:33

where because where I think because I'm

8:35

present, because like and going down on girls all

8:37

that stuff. I last week's

8:40

butt last week. When

8:44

it first happened, like two months ago, this girl,

8:46

you know, we were like cook talking or whatever,

8:48

blah blah blah and all that same bullshit like it

8:50

always is. And then we had sex, and I was like, I'll just never

8:52

talk to her again, you know, like that's just what it is.

8:54

And then she talked to me the next day. She was

8:56

like, hey, are you around today. I was like, what do you mean you want

8:58

to hook up again? She was like yeah. I was like what

9:01

why? Because I just was like and

9:03

then she was like yeah, didn't you think it was great? She's

9:06

like I came three times, like you came, nobody

9:09

comes, you know.

9:12

Yes. So now it's like this thing where it's like,

9:15

you know, I'm not saying like I'm a fucking, you

9:17

know, sex porn star guy, but

9:19

I'm very present in the moment. Now,

9:22

I do get I did get a little too crazy, um

9:25

like six weeks ago, and I just took a condom off dumb,

9:27

but I have no sts and she's

9:29

not pregnant. But that was ridiculous.

9:31

But it was all hot sex in the moment that I

9:34

shouldn't have done, that we

9:36

should have done. I couldn't.

9:38

But it was one of those things where it's like I would speak

9:40

to other friends of mine,

9:43

like over the last couple of years and like

9:47

that, like my friends from home, and it

9:49

was like, yeah, I never my friend guy's

9:52

a fireman. He's like, I never used condom.

9:54

He's like, I just have sex with women. I'm whatever,

9:56

and I'm like, you don't use condoms and like all these punced

9:59

fears. He was like, no, this guy is just in the moment,

10:01

just having sex. Well that's that's one. That's

10:03

a different thing though. He's yeah,

10:06

he's hepes

10:08

but whatever. I'm

10:10

talking about taking a deal really well, it's definitely

10:13

not that big of a deal because so many people have it. I don't

10:15

have it. Blood results to prove

10:17

that. We Also, the penis is like kind of

10:19

impenetrable, so like women

10:21

lose again on that because it's much easier to contract

10:23

an s t I when you have a vagina than

10:26

like then with a penut like than with heterosexual

10:29

sex, putting a penis into a vagina. There's

10:32

very few things that you can get

10:34

easily. Yeah, A

10:36

good point. Yeah, because when we had

10:38

sex, right, so, we had the flirty

10:40

like weekend in Chicago, and I was like, he's so cute,

10:42

I gotta fuck him. And then and

10:45

then we were going to hang out and then you

10:47

just kept bailing. Yeah, which

10:50

I but I know you're not like you're You're

10:52

such a great guy and you're so nice

10:54

that I knew it wasn't. I was like, you're either anxious

10:56

or you're just busy because you have a It was a lot

10:58

of stuff, but there was a lot of excuses

11:01

that were very truthful

11:03

in my mind. I have my kid, I have a well,

11:06

like I mean, I could convince myself that my

11:10

Second Hour Special truthful in my mind.

11:14

I could have, you know, like say I had

11:16

a show or I had to pick up my daughter,

11:18

and all those things were technically

11:20

true. But I could have like

11:22

my mother could have watched my daughter, or I could have

11:24

went to the show a little. I could have make my own spots

11:26

on. But I would say, oh, I can't go meet up with

11:28

you. But really, what it was is. I'm still

11:31

I'm not over my ex. That's really what

11:33

it was. And I just believe that now

11:35

because now I am over her. I mean, I get emotional

11:38

sometimes thinking about when I say family, that

11:40

chokes me up. But when I just talk about her,

11:43

me and her, it's like she could be with

11:45

her boyfriend right now and that wouldn't hurt me. What

11:47

would hurt me potentially is like her

11:49

going on a vacation with my

11:51

daughter, because then it's family. I don't know that.

11:53

Even my father got divorced to my mother when

11:56

they were one, and he was like Chris, like

11:58

even still to this day, there are times when

12:00

I'm like, you know, I wish we were a family, but

12:03

it's just you know, that doesn't go away. Yeah, you're

12:05

still a family. It's just a non traditional family structure,

12:07

and like you could think of it negatively, but or

12:10

you could think of it of like, wow, she has

12:12

this opportunity to go on like two vacations

12:14

this year because you take her on one, then

12:17

you're Jasmine takes

12:19

her. I

12:21

do I think I'll I can see

12:23

myself getting there. I'm just not there yet with that part

12:26

of it. I'm very because you have this idea

12:28

of family in your head that you grew up with and

12:30

then you were taught about because you know what really the

12:32

truth was is. I was like, oh,

12:34

I come from divorce household. My

12:36

mom and dad actually got pregnant

12:39

very quickly, kind of very similar to like I

12:41

think there were like five dates as opposed to like

12:43

me being in the first date. So I was like, this is the way I grew

12:45

up. Even though I felt like I have very good, very

12:48

good parents that were co parents, I was like, I want to have

12:50

like a wholesome family. I want to have like a wife

12:52

and a kid in my life. Just didn't work out that way.

12:54

It worked out the way kind of like

12:56

what I saw. So I

13:00

have to let go of that. And I'm in the process

13:02

of of letting go because I think, like I can identify

13:05

my big problems um now. And

13:07

I was using sex a lot to like

13:09

as like a instead of doing cocaine, and

13:12

because like, look, I'm not gonna sit. I'm

13:14

not like, um you know, saying like oh I

13:17

can't funk anybody I want. It's not but it's like you

13:19

know, like whatever, like the career and stuff

13:21

like sex is very available to me. Yeah,

13:23

it's like a guy. It's it's pretty available.

13:25

You can do

13:28

it like girls are in the d M, like he have sex

13:30

with me, come on, and so I could do it. I could like sniff

13:32

line. You know, it's like doing lines of

13:34

coke. I can just do it. But now I don't. Now

13:37

it's like girls will message and you know that allow,

13:41

yeah, just read them and or something. I don't read them.

13:43

I just declined them because I know it's that's all empty

13:45

ship. Now. Yeah,

13:49

trying meditating or something. I've been meditating.

13:52

Meditating and boxing. I know that's very different

13:54

things. One is hitting, one is breathing. But it's

13:56

a good Boxing has a very specific

13:58

rhythm to it. I actually think of boxing when I think of

14:00

stand up, even though I boxed very

14:03

mildly, but like, yeah, there's this there's

14:05

this rhythm. They have to read to it. It's your Yeah,

14:07

it's my heart pumping. And Sergio Chicon, who

14:10

I bring on the road with me on who's a great guy.

14:12

You know he suffered with like alcoholism

14:14

and drug addiction and stuff. He's open about it,

14:16

and you know, I bring him with me because he was

14:18

like, hey, man, like I don't know that you're here sex addict.

14:21

But I mean there will be times like I remember six months ago,

14:23

we were in a hotel, I like went, I forgot what the

14:25

city Philadelphia, and we were having I

14:27

had sex with this girl, and then I came back to the

14:29

room and I was facetiming a girl and

14:31

she was naked another woman, and then I had sex with a

14:34

woman after the show, and he was like, listen, man, He's

14:36

like, we're guys. You know, he's a father too. He's

14:38

like, where guys, and what this? All this stuff

14:40

is cool? I get it. He's like, but it's a little

14:43

I don't know about this behavior think

14:45

about acting out. And I didn't

14:47

realize that. I just thought like, oh, it's great. I'm having sex

14:50

with these women. It's part of the job. You know. It's great

14:52

and I'm lucky. But it's not. Yeah,

14:54

it's so funny this stuff we tell ourselves

14:57

that allows us to go on with a particular

15:00

behavior, and then we never get to that root

15:02

of it. And then that root of like you

15:04

had maybe a void when you were a child,

15:07

and and of maybe not wanting a whole

15:09

family and then wanting to fill that void so badly,

15:11

and then not wanting to do with the pain of that. And look, sex

15:14

especially, I mean it's powerful

15:16

for both sexes, but like the power of

15:18

like a vagina to like a man, like it's

15:20

just like it's so it's

15:22

so fucking hard to say no

15:25

because you're like this scroll like I can't.

15:27

It's like animalistic. It's like I want

15:30

to have sex with her. Yeah,

15:32

but I'm a lot better now

15:34

at like, you know, not just

15:36

jumping at every woman to make me

15:38

feel better, you know, And I think that's what I

15:40

was doing potentially with you. It was like this is about me,

15:42

it's not about you. That's why I'm like, oh, it's like my babe.

15:45

But now, but now, at least

15:47

it be better. I would understand that there's two people

15:50

involved. And I wasn't consciously like

15:52

I was an awakening, so I'm

15:55

not going to be selfish with like dust over

15:57

here. I wasn't consciously doing that

16:00

with you, like a subconscious yeah,

16:02

because I was asking myself that I was part

16:04

that I was. It was a two way street, and I was like, she had

16:06

good time, but it's like it was all lies to myself.

16:08

Is that why you leave? She had a good time? I was like she had a

16:10

good time. You know, how does I get on my fucking Corolla?

16:14

When we met up, what do we do? We met up

16:16

at the seller or something for a drink, and

16:18

I was like, I was I was like, oh

16:20

man, because we had we were going to hang out so many

16:22

times before that, and I was like, oh, we're gonna fuck

16:25

because you're so we have We're very flirty and you're

16:27

so charming and cute, like you're just so cute.

16:30

Um and and so when

16:33

we got back to my house and I was like, I feel like,

16:35

I don't your energy. Your energy,

16:38

I felt it wasn't present from pretty

16:40

much when you walked in, and I wanted that

16:42

made me want to drink more, But I don't

16:44

know if I don't think I did, but uh, well

16:47

we do. Lasked for a

16:49

while a while. Yeah, yeah, I think one

16:52

of the first things you said to me was quite And

16:54

I was like, well, so

16:58

did you say that? Like in the living room? More happening

17:02

downstairs? And then it was down there

17:04

okay. Also, there was like a big

17:06

thing that I just don't do anymore, Like I was always like

17:08

be constantly worried. Um, Like I

17:10

probably wasn't president if I was like checking my phone

17:12

because it was like if my ex texts

17:14

me or calls me, like and I

17:17

again, which is all just subconsciously

17:20

being like you want her to call you and text you because

17:22

you want her to be like come back home. But now

17:24

it's like we could have startups. I wouldn't

17:27

even think about my phone. I wouldn't think about that.

17:29

But I was always like, makes so much sense,

17:31

But I would always say to myself, Oh, it's I'm nervous

17:33

about her texting me. What if she hears It's like, you're

17:36

nervous about it because you don't want her to hear this because you want

17:38

to go back out. You want to be back on your phone. Okay,

17:40

you know girls don't want you out there back and call like

17:42

they like. It seems

17:45

like they do with the behavior,

17:47

but they don't want to. I'm

17:49

still glad we're having this conversation because there's

17:51

been times in my life where I've had sex with a person that I'm

17:53

like, something's up, and it kills

17:56

me inside. I know this is my problem, but it

17:58

kills me that I'll never know what's

18:01

actually going on. And so with with what you're

18:03

telling me all of this, I'm like, that's yeah,

18:05

and I think that's let me get to the bottom fields, right

18:07

what I'm saying it could. It feels right to me

18:09

too. It's good to know that you're not just bad at sex. Yeah,

18:12

well, I mean I still might be. I know. I'm not saying

18:14

like I'm the

18:17

thing. It seems like that, just like what you're

18:19

saying, because you seem to be very honest,

18:21

because you say both good

18:23

and disparaging things about yourself.

18:26

So like if you now have repeat

18:28

customers, I think that's telling you that

18:30

you're now present, and when you're present, you're better.

18:33

And it's limited a lot now Like now,

18:35

like, um, there's not like this like you

18:38

know, like all these women

18:40

that I it's like I don't wanna

18:43

you don't want to just anything like now, it's like it's

18:45

it's a little bit more meaningful. I'm not looking. I don't know

18:47

that I want a girlfriend or anything like that, but it's it's

18:49

like it's if I'm going to have sex, it's it feels

18:51

like more meaningful. So just

18:54

a powerful thing. Come over you. Yeah

18:56

you did can get tired too, I

18:58

imagine, Well yeah, well then then it starts.

19:00

Then that thing starts to happen where like I didn't.

19:02

I went through a phase like I didn't want to have sex, and I

19:04

was like, now am I gay? What's happening now? And it's

19:07

all like this confusion ye patterns

19:09

though, I mean even as a woman, I've got I've

19:11

gone through these like where you just like funk

19:14

for a couple of months, like kind of meaninglessly,

19:17

but like it's not I don't think it becomes a problem unless

19:19

you're doing it for like years

19:21

at a time. To do it, you

19:23

know, once every couple of breakups for a couple

19:26

of months, Like I think it's pretty normal and a lot of

19:28

people actually do it, so you shouldn't beat yourself

19:30

up about it. I think like the one of the big

19:32

awakening things for me is Sergio kind

19:34

of saying that, you know, Sergio was

19:37

like, hey, wake up, uh, Jasmine,

19:40

you know, having a boyfriend. And then

19:43

there was one time where I had um

19:46

sex with this girl and like the backseat

19:48

of a car and some parking lot in

19:51

and I left my car key my car

19:53

key fell out of my r

19:56

and then I went to the hotel and then

19:58

the next morning was like, where's my car where's my car key?

20:00

And missed like an event in my daughter's

20:02

life, Like I was supposed to be home for that, like

20:05

and I mean it was small, but to me it's

20:07

big, you know. So it was like I was like supposed

20:09

to take her to a birthday party and I couldn't take her. And

20:11

she was like, I was like, I'm going to be there on Sunday

20:13

morning to take you, and then I couldn't because I had to

20:16

get a car key and it took

20:18

all day and all that ship and I was like,

20:20

this is like, why did you do this? Having

20:22

sex someone in a parking lot? Like what are you doing

20:24

at a hotel? Yeah? Yeah, so stupid.

20:27

And well Sergio was in the hotel. That's the problem.

20:30

And so it's like, and that's another thing, share a hotel

20:32

room. Well I started initially

20:34

doing that, but

20:38

that's what but now I don't. But there

20:41

was addic behavior. I would happily do that, and then I'm like I'm

20:43

like a surge. Like I was like, I'm just gonna go out. I

20:46

was like the vending machines broken in the hotel, I'm just gonna

20:48

go to friends, flying

20:50

to friend. He was like, I don't care and he and he's

20:52

very because he was like, Chris, I don't care, man,

20:55

you do whatever you want to do. We're grown men. And

20:57

then but he knows what's happening. And then and he's like,

20:59

I told you so he would be like, I'm telling

21:01

you, man, like you just got to get it in check. Because he

21:03

got it in check. He had a real problem with

21:05

drugs and alcohol and it's completely in check now

21:07

six years and his life

21:10

is beautiful. Wow, that's amazing. In

21:12

check. It's really, yeah, just getting down to the fucking

21:14

root of the problem. I feel like sex. Sex is

21:17

one of the strongest band aids that people use

21:19

for themselves, and it's so common

21:21

for people to use it, and it's like, man, just rip

21:23

it off, get ahold of yourselves

21:26

and truly figure out what it's not

21:28

fun. I don't, in my opinion,

21:30

to figure out what your what your problems

21:32

are, what your problems are. But I think once

21:35

you do, you can, man, Yeah, limitless.

21:38

I feel very focused on career

21:40

stuff, exercise, my health, my

21:42

daughter. And I think it's because I removed a

21:44

large amount of sex from my life

21:46

and I don't feel like I

21:49

need, you know, I'm still like jerk off

21:51

and stuff like. It's like, fine, he's still man.

21:53

I'm still man. Who

21:56

living room down? Put out that

21:58

fire? That fire? I

22:00

have a little I was. I was like I was

22:02

gonna put the chimney fire out, but I actually just put

22:04

out that bad bath and beyond candle. You don't

22:07

have a lot of I don't have. You

22:09

don't have a little dick. I will not say you

22:13

have a good dick. Women do tell me I have a very

22:15

nice dick. Of chat out to uh whoever

22:17

circumcised me? They always say, very smooth

22:20

chick. It is very smooth.

22:22

I will say, have there been rigid circumcisions

22:25

or like some guys got like piece

22:27

of valleys, you know what I mean. I've ever seen a dick

22:29

that looked like it was like cut with one of those like scissors

22:33

that does the design on the

22:35

like like

22:39

what I've seen some friends

22:41

dicks are like, you know, guys just fucking send

22:43

dicks to the d M And it's like this is a dirty

22:46

dick. Oh what's a dirty dick? Like

22:48

just a disgusting looking penis? Yeah

22:50

yeah, alright, So wait, so you're hypochondriact

22:53

thing, but you're not so because you I said

22:55

this on your podcast History of Hyenas, because

22:57

the honest is like Chrissy d has no repeat customers.

23:00

And I was like, well, but

23:03

you didn't finger me or eat me out, but

23:05

I would now. But so you're not gonna

23:07

get stripped throat because you want to finger me

23:09

because you bite your nails. But you

23:11

didn't tell me that in the moment I learned that on your podcast. Are

23:13

these are just excuses you were making up? Or these real?

23:16

Because yeah,

23:18

I wanted to finger her. Yeah I think I wanted to

23:20

finger her, but I think, um,

23:22

now, like first of all, I have

23:25

I went down on a couple of women. I told you licked an ass

23:27

last week, and

23:30

no sore throat or anything. But if it's

23:32

kind of like one of those things, like if there was

23:34

to be a sore throat, it's just I

23:37

just deal with its opposed to human

23:39

trying to avoid everything like I can't do it. I'm

23:41

it's like on my in my stand up, I'll like joke

23:43

about it, I've material about it, I'll

23:45

go with it, thank you, and it does well.

23:48

And it but it does well. It's not funny when you're the woman not

23:50

getting fingered. But it's funny. It's a funny joke. Yeah,

23:52

so so I but I just I'll

23:54

just deal with it now, you know what I mean as opposed

23:57

to like trying to prevent everything. It's like, okay, if you get

23:59

the ship's yes, it's

24:01

like, yeah, because you told me on

24:03

your podcast that a doctor told

24:06

you because my tonsils are so big that

24:08

i's bacteria that will get

24:10

caught on them and I can get my tonsils removed. Pussy

24:13

Wait, did a doctor really say this? The

24:17

only the only time I've heard

24:19

of any throat related illness from

24:21

eating pussy Cat Jones

24:23

and Michael Douglas. That's supposed story of him

24:25

getting and getting actual throat cancer. Yeah,

24:28

he got sore throats. Yeah,

24:31

well, you know, he apparently

24:33

got a throat cancer from giving

24:35

Catherine' Dada Jones coney lingus. But I think that's

24:37

just because he didn't want to deal with the wrath of

24:39

Catherine's Dada Jones, so he probably

24:42

orchestrated a huge cancer scare. You

24:44

know, it passed him. He's a huge

24:46

star, and I a

24:48

lot of women. Yeah, well, who knows.

24:51

Yeah, I've never heard I've never

24:53

had a boyfriend get a sore throat from

24:56

eating me out, But

24:58

you've gotten a sore throat for me a girl?

25:00

Or was that all on your head? No? No, no, well there

25:03

was one contract. You can like pretend to

25:05

feel the feelings of the of the sickness.

25:07

No, there was one time. Multiple

25:09

times were like yeah like it one

25:13

um what sore? One time I got like full

25:15

blown strap. I had like a big thing

25:17

that I was filming and I and

25:19

I fucking really fucked myself. Are

25:21

you sure it wasn't just a coincidence

25:24

like that you just so much pussy

25:26

and then coincidentally got it, because

25:28

I mean, this feels a little sat on the girl and

25:30

then two days later strap. Okay,

25:33

I mean but was it winter? Were you working

25:35

around without at Los Angeles

25:37

March in l A? Okay, so

25:39

it could I mean like maybe pussy had coal.

25:42

I really want to look this up. Yeah, I

25:44

don't know that this is but I don't even think when we

25:46

were when we fucked, Well, I wasn't because

25:49

I because I was it was like a year

25:51

ago. You think I think it was about a year it was, Yeah,

25:53

it was. It was it was cold out, I remember,

25:55

Yeah, it was Okay, So this

25:58

winter. It wasn't this winter. It

26:00

wasn't well Chicago, because

26:05

was it to a year ago? Chicago

26:07

was last February. Yeah,

26:10

so it was maybe like a couple of it was a month.

26:14

Okay, maybe it was a cold April

26:16

night. Yeah,

26:18

yeah, but I I don't. I

26:21

was at a point where I was like, oh, I like having

26:23

casual sex now because I can advocate for

26:25

myself. I can't like I'm not. I just

26:27

I got it. You know. The last time I was single, I was twenty

26:29

two. So I was like, let everyone, I'm not still gonna

26:32

say. I don't know what the floor, but I remember

26:34

I don't think I said anything, but

26:36

what like in that moment, I'm so curious,

26:38

just as like a social experiment. Sure, if if

26:40

I would have said, you like,

26:43

I don't even know what, I would say, I'm just this is like a I

26:45

think in that moment, I would have just

26:48

should I have taken your fingering

26:51

fingering? I would have done no problem, Oh you

26:53

would have. I would have done fingering. But if you were down

26:56

on me, I probably would have come up with some

26:58

excuse and just completely halted.

27:00

Just I would have just said, like, I'm going to get a sore

27:02

throat and just completely ruined. I've

27:05

done that to plenty of women, it is. Yeah,

27:08

I mean, like all the sources are backing you up

27:10

and it's not not it's just like it

27:13

can happen. Yeah, it's not from like and it's these

27:15

are from websites that I go to and trust, Like, this

27:17

is not you're not What does it say? Just cant

27:20

complication or something you can get. You

27:22

can get common cold or strap throat. That's

27:24

I mean, that's like because that's why they

27:26

suggest using a dental dam a lot of

27:28

times too. Yeah, and

27:31

also because and also you can have small small

27:33

sores or cuts in your mouth that you can

27:35

contract through that. Yeah. So I think between

27:38

that and you know, biting my nails all the time, which I

27:40

was so good. I didn't bitten my nails in

27:43

a month and they were finally looking good, and then I clipped

27:45

them three days ago, like I

27:47

was like, oh that's good, and then I just fucking bit them all

27:49

off. So but I will start from scratch again,

27:52

sucked up. I just I'm learning, like I

27:55

can't just gotta let them go and just go get a fucking

27:57

manicure. It. But for a month in my life. I didn't

27:59

buy my nails and I've never even done that. Some

28:01

three years old, did they make nail polish for it?

28:05

I tried all that. Yeah,

28:08

well no, if I didn't clip them like I would have have, I

28:11

would have had like long nails. But I

28:13

just clipped them. And then I saw like, I

28:16

don't know, I understand I did that a little bit, but

28:18

I know, now, just don't clip them because

28:21

I think you said this. I think that you

28:24

don't finger girl. You didn't finger girls sometimes

28:26

because you had like you bet your nails and you had like cut cuts

28:29

on my fingers. Yeah, I guess that might be true too.

28:31

Then that like you're not you're not off with that is I

28:33

would get a lot. Yeah, there was. I think like I

28:35

went to England like two thousand twelve,

28:37

tarteen, and I remember I fingered this

28:40

girl in America and then I got like an infection in

28:42

my finger el stories

28:44

them. Yeah, and I felt like and I was, you know,

28:47

blaming not her, but I was in my head,

28:49

I was like I got this finger infection from fingering

28:51

this girl. Now I'm in a far away land and I

28:53

but then it's like when I was in London. I was like, I

28:56

just walked into a hospital because like my finger,

28:58

like I couldn't actually bend my wrist, it

29:00

was all swollen. And then so I was like

29:02

I don't have like health. And it was my right hand

29:04

too, so I'm a righty and they were like, hey, just fill

29:06

out this form. I was like, well, I trying to write

29:09

my left I could barely like write my name or anything.

29:11

And then the doctor. The doctor was just like,

29:13

he was like, it's fine the form. He was

29:15

like, what's what's Are you allergic to penicillin? It's

29:18

crazy like the healthcare system in

29:20

the UK. He was like this is I'm like

29:22

in the waiting room, He's like, are you

29:24

allerged to penicillin? And I was like no. He

29:26

was like just come back here, and then out

29:29

of that, he gave me a shot in my finger and

29:31

then put penicillin cream

29:33

on it, and then he was uh and gave me a

29:36

cream and pills like not you don't have to go to a

29:38

pharmacy. There was nobody just gave me

29:40

that. And then they gave me twenty five dollars to take

29:42

a cab home if I wanted to, and they don't

29:44

you have They don't have any of my information, Like I couldn't

29:47

write my name, so they have nothing. It was

29:49

just like, as long as you're not alleged to penicillin, like

29:51

it's okay, And they said if it doesn't work in two days,

29:53

just come back. I was like, what is it? This fucking easy?

29:55

I mean I feel like they should have some sort of a

29:57

record. Yeah they did.

30:00

They have nothing on me because

30:02

you're American. They're like whatever whatever. They probably

30:04

by this, but I couldn't believe it. Like in an hour,

30:06

my finger started feeling better, Like if that happened

30:08

to me in New York, it would take three days before

30:10

anything. Hapsolutely God, okay,

30:13

okay, yeah, because I know that that that doesn't seem

30:15

totally off that you could if you bait your

30:17

nails and you had all these cuts on him, that you would it was something

30:20

like being an idiot. And also if I saw someone with like gross

30:22

fingers, I wouldn't want them. So so

30:25

when was the first time you went down on someone that

30:28

was like that wasn't your mother of your child?

30:30

Um? I would say four months

30:32

ago, maybe three four months or what

30:35

like? What it

30:37

was the work you were doing on herself with did the girl

30:39

like help bring something out of it it? Because when we were

30:41

working I wanted to say something, but I was like, I don't

30:43

know why. I felt like I couldn't because

30:46

I felt your wall. I felt

30:48

your wall so hard, and I'm like, I'm not even getting

30:51

a brick off of that wall nothing, So I'm

30:53

just not gonna say anything. I just did

30:55

it, and I was kind of just that thing. It's like, just deal

30:57

with whatever happens. Happens. Who cares?

30:59

If you could sore throat, Like, who cares, You'll

31:01

be fine. And then I just didn't. It was

31:03

great, and then it led to obviously I

31:06

think, you know, like really good sex,

31:08

that's awesome. Well yeah, when you eat a girl out, yeah,

31:11

but I have to be careful because I ate her out and

31:13

then it's just like so hot. And then I just had unprotected

31:15

sex, which is stupid. Yeah, but that's

31:17

what it leads to. But it's just fucking stupid. Yeah.

31:21

Was on the pill? Yeah, yeah, it

31:24

was months ago. That's a little less stupid, yeah,

31:26

but it's still just stupid. I have to just be

31:28

I don't

31:31

believe she didn't say anything either, just

31:34

sex. Yeah, it's sucking dumb, but it

31:36

feels so good. It feels really good. And

31:39

then I know the p method is a method. And I used

31:41

to like have like unprotected

31:43

sex, like and then you know, before my

31:45

kid's mom and just be like they know, they know, I'd

31:48

just be panicking for three weeks, like the disease,

31:50

she pregnant. But now it's like it happened. It's happened

31:52

a couple of I use a condom nine

31:55

percent at the time, but I was just like, it

31:57

happened, It's happened a couple of times, and I'm just like, what if

31:59

it who Yeah, she tells me if

32:01

I get a disease, I'll deal with it. If she tells me she's

32:04

pregnant, I'll deal with it. I'll just deal with it.

32:06

I'll just deal with it. It's panic

32:08

your whole life away and

32:10

then have a kid and then so that's also a plan.

32:12

But well that but that's what I'm saying. Pcent

32:14

of time, Like the condom helps, you know, just I

32:17

can be like, okay, I can relax, but

32:19

you know, there's just a couple of times you just fucking rip it off.

32:22

I was like, she looks fine, that's

32:25

good. That's good, famous last words.

32:28

She's a real estate agent. She's very sul

32:32

She told me she doesn't want kids. I believe

32:35

Wait she did she

32:38

did? Yeah? Wait is that how many times

32:40

have you met her? Um?

32:42

I feel like what her? Um?

32:45

Maybe we went out like twice and she's like, I don't

32:47

want kids like she was like in her late thirties.

32:49

She was like, I just don't want children. So

32:51

that's nice, that makes sense. And then she

32:53

was like saying like things. I was like, I'm sorry we didn't use

32:55

a cons like I please, this baby would

32:58

never happen. Trust me. I was like, seems

33:00

like a woman in her late thirties trying

33:02

to not to scare you. So I was going

33:04

to say, you know,

33:06

I'm naive to it, and then not naive to it. I got

33:09

it. I was like, I don't believe you, but I

33:11

should have kept them because late thirties,

33:13

like you know, could she she could get pregnant and she'd

33:15

be like, I guess this is my last shot, like

33:17

this could be this could be it. Yeah, you never

33:19

know how you feel? Yeah,

33:21

I know I want to get back to the sex

33:23

that you and I had because I have a question. Was I

33:26

good? Yes, I was, Yeah,

33:28

I remember we had sex on the You wanted

33:30

to incorporate the phone roller. You

33:32

wanted to lay on a phone roller, which I thought was yes,

33:36

I have a phone roller, and I was wondering. I always thought

33:38

it would be fun to funk on it. And then I

33:40

was just feeling experimental with you because I feel very

33:42

comfortable with you anyway, like we're just you're

33:45

you you, You're very comforting

33:47

to be around. So I was like, I kind of wanna

33:50

can you fuck me on this phone roller? And then You're like, oh,

33:52

my knees hurt. But my knees were hurting too, and I

33:54

don't want to say anything, but said I had to leap

33:56

in my back too. You should have told me I had to leave on me.

34:02

Okay, so wait, what was the position that you're both

34:05

your knees were well because she was behind

34:07

me, he was behind me, was

34:10

up in the air. Where was the foam roll like on

34:12

my thighs, like at the top of my thighs,

34:14

because I had this idea because I was rolling out on the

34:16

top of my thighs, have a nice ask. So it was nice.

34:19

But but yeah, but I was I was a

34:21

little preoccupied with the knee pain. Your

34:25

knees does not feel good. No,

34:28

I had a yelga met down there, but I have like a tile

34:30

floor finished, and

34:33

to be on your knees at this age over

34:35

thirty, I didn't do it. Yeahhh, Like

34:37

I'm constantly stretching my legs here because I was just

34:39

cramping up having sex

34:41

on a phone. Ro Yeah. We sucked on the phone for maybe

34:43

like a minute. We're a going to get yeah, we gotta

34:46

go back to it. We took a swing painful. Yeah, it was

34:48

painful, but no, I thought it was great

34:50

and I didn't regret

34:53

anything about it. Um, I

34:55

just wish I was more present, you know, Okay, Yeah, but

34:57

that's I'm so glad that you put

35:00

the puzzle pieces together, because I mean, then

35:02

your life is only going to get better. Yeah. Better.

35:06

I just feel like, I mean, well, you know,

35:08

I guess we're all always works in progress,

35:10

but having a child just it

35:12

just feels like I was like, I gotta just sucking

35:15

figure out as much as I can about myself. Yeah,

35:17

And I feel like you did a real one. Eight damn trying.

35:19

I'm trying. I didn't know any of this stuff

35:21

when we

35:24

also on History hyenas my

35:26

podcast checking Out. Um, I

35:28

don't say. It's like there's almost

35:30

like a type of character I have to be to balance

35:33

out honest, So it's like kind

35:35

of me, but it's also it's like a high conversion of me. So

35:37

I would never go my The

35:39

fans who listened to our podcast, they don't want to hear this.

35:42

They're like, why I talk about being wild and

35:44

fucking say smooth cutth and just

35:46

yell shit, be like cuzzy and act

35:49

like an idiot. So sometimes

35:51

my comedy on there is like I have to be like I'm dumb,

35:53

but I'm not right. Yeah, no

35:55

you're not. I'm I'm not saying I'm the smartest guy.

35:57

But it's just like I

35:59

I can't do this on my podcast, So I would I had

36:02

known this stuff about myself, but it wasn't just it's

36:04

a better time to talk like this with you guys as because

36:06

you honest with just gay, you know,

36:09

like you would just say something fans you're gay,

36:11

I'm gay. You

36:14

know, it's like whatever, So did

36:17

you learn this all like through yourself or do you

36:19

actually see a therapist or no, I

36:21

don't see a therapist. I should.

36:24

I think that's all good, but it's great to have the break that

36:26

therapist. Yeah, I think it

36:28

was just kind of, like, to be honest,

36:30

a lot of things started to happen. I

36:33

started to think of a lot of things in the middle of boxing

36:35

or going on like long runs, where I was would

36:37

have just been like eating or trying to like

36:39

have sex with girls instead of the energy was somewhere

36:42

else where I was trying to like exercise and being

36:44

clear and just yeah, reflecting

36:47

and and um, and then a lot of I do that. Um.

36:50

Transcendental meditation, Yeah,

36:54

I would do it, and then I stopped doing it. But

36:56

now I do it, and there's a lot of things that in

36:58

my head at least become clear during

37:00

those sessions. Sometimes nothing happens, but sometimes

37:02

I'm like, oh, this is what it is. What is

37:04

transcendental twice a day. You're supposed

37:07

to do it twice a day for twenty minutes, And it's

37:09

basically just like a type of meditation, meditation

37:11

that whatever comes

37:13

in your mind is okay. Like some meditations

37:15

like focus on this, focus on that. Their whole mindset

37:18

is like, don't focus on anything, just close your eyes.

37:20

You have a mantra that you can repeat. It's an ancient

37:22

sound. Um. And then does

37:24

everyone have a unique man, I

37:26

don't know that there's like millions of them.

37:28

I think there's like ten. I took a class

37:30

and then like your guru, I guess, or he

37:33

gives you the sound that's right for you, which is

37:35

probably all bullshit and stupid. You could probably do anything,

37:38

but the sound does keep me as locked

37:40

in as possible. But but um,

37:42

yeah, you just do it and like whatever comes in your

37:44

mind, like you don't try to push out and just

37:46

you just concentrate on the mantra. And

37:49

then I noticed like a lot of um

37:51

what was commonly coming in and

37:54

I was like, um, you know, addressing

37:56

it as it came. Thought, is

37:59

it a terrifying though, Like the idea of doing it

38:01

before before you actually take the time to do it and

38:03

understand the benefits of it, it's terrifying. Oh yeah

38:05

yeah. And I think like the whole thing is

38:08

like I'm not even close to I don't

38:10

think we're ever really done. I'm just happy

38:12

that I'm better, you know today

38:14

than I was yesterday kind of thing, because I'm like I'm never

38:17

you know, sometimes I like watch these motivational

38:19

speakers and I'm like, you know, the Tony Robbins

38:21

of the world, the gary vs. Like they're all good and fine,

38:23

but sometimes I'm like, stop telling everyone that they can do

38:26

everything. It's like they can't shut up. People

38:28

are going to ruin their fucking lives. Yeah, you know, people

38:31

want to take on more than like you think you can

38:33

shut up. It's like, just fucking I get

38:35

it. I'm giving you ten thousand dollars for you to motivate

38:37

me, stealing my money, giving

38:40

it from the perspective of like a good looking, like

38:42

tall, buff rich man. Uh.

38:45

And so you can't give the same advice to

38:48

like, you know, like that truthfully,

38:50

And why we'll ask for like photos of

38:52

people to send with advice

38:55

that they're asking because I do give different

38:57

advice based on like if you're three or if you're a ten,

38:59

because fortunately that's the way the world works.

39:01

It's like you can you can bitch and moan all

39:04

you want. The truth is, the better

39:06

looking physically you are, the more stuff you'll

39:08

probably get in our society. It's just

39:10

like that way. But

39:12

it's what that way, honestly, just like there's other

39:15

ways there's other suggestions or ways that

39:17

you can go about getting what you want. And I would recommend

39:19

a different roots depending

39:21

on if you can lead lean into your looks

39:23

or not at all. Absolutely, but

39:26

also threes and tens of different strengths

39:28

and weaknesses. Would

39:30

be like, you know you're gonna go funny Smart's

39:33

consider it if you think it's very

39:35

smart. You know, yeah, I know. And if anybody

39:37

was like, no, you shouldn't do that, it's like, that's you have

39:40

to do. Yeah, yeah,

39:43

it's it's no bullshit, So it's

39:45

beyond your control. Yeah, thisquise

39:47

good, isn't it good? They made

39:49

They made the skinnier cans, but it's

39:51

the same amount of liquid and then trying to trick

39:53

you into thinking that you're skinnier by drinking

39:55

that one. It's

39:57

all. It doesn't have any sugar regardless. They just change

40:00

in the shape of the camp. This is like the new drink vodka

40:02

and Lacroix, just at the higher end

40:04

in that camp because it's not the same shape as a soda

40:06

can. That's true. Maybe that's it looks a little

40:08

bit like you

40:11

see, I gotta fucking soda can. Little

40:13

drawer in my fridge and now that doesn't fucking

40:15

fit marketing complain

40:18

about when you're thirty one, they change the size

40:20

of the lacroix. Can you

40:25

know, August, August, what, Oh my god, August. That's

40:28

fine, you're a man though it doesn't really matter does Unfortunately

40:31

again things of society that we're trying to change.

40:33

But we're patriarchy. I

40:35

know we suck, but there's I mean,

40:38

we suck, but there's a good man.

40:41

Well, yeah, like I don't have you ever. I

40:43

feel like, yeah, you don't have many instances

40:45

in your life where you're just a dick because

40:47

you just don't have that in you. Mean, you're nice

40:49

person. But I also attribute it kind of

40:52

your anxiety. Your anxiety

40:54

has made you kind and empathetic. Well

40:56

I think that. And my my mother is

40:58

a very very like kind kind

41:00

woman, So like I was like always

41:02

with um, you know, grew up with her. So

41:04

she's very very kind, and I think

41:07

I have that in me. But also it's like, yeah,

41:09

I want to I don't know, I just want

41:11

to get through like every day and like just be

41:14

comfortable. And I feel like me being comfortable means

41:16

like the people around me being comfortable, Like I just don't

41:18

like even when I would get into like these blowout

41:20

arguments with Jasmine, it's

41:22

like this is all stupid, like we're never

41:24

going to get this day back, so like why are we arguing

41:27

about like complete bullshit? Like can

41:30

we just stop? Like there's no reason.

41:32

I don't I don't see ever. I know that they

41:34

say arguing its health in relationship, and

41:36

I'm sure it is, But for me, it's like I

41:38

just don't get why we have to feel

41:41

sad or upset at all

41:43

day. It's just very silly to me.

41:45

All feels like wasted energy. It's like you're never getting

41:48

any of this time back, so just enjoy.

41:50

It's just an energy that could be easily stoked

41:52

because so quickly

41:55

what it's meaningless like that. Yeah, I

41:57

think now though I do well,

42:00

if something is really bothering me, I

42:02

do, I'm a little bit more outspoken about it.

42:04

I think I would just hold it in a lot and be like, I don't

42:06

care, this doesn't affect me, and I think it

42:08

did, but I'd just be like and maybe would

42:10

come out in other ways. But I'm telling you the boxing

42:13

you, I just keet all that ship out every morning.

42:15

It's just out. You box every morning pretty

42:17

much boxing every day. Yeah, I

42:20

take a class or do you do private or just go

42:22

to a gym and hit a bag? I take

42:24

classes, I private, but now I can just go

42:26

to the gym. Now I just know what I'm doing kind

42:28

of. But I'm would st that guy Sergio

42:30

Alt and Andrew Collins. You know Andrew.

42:33

It comes in sometimes in boxes and he takes a shirt

42:35

up, like what are you doing? We're

42:38

like, you look good, let's put your shirt up. These are you know, it's

42:40

real boxers here,

42:43

boxers, bottle boy, You're gonna get your fucking

42:45

head caved in the artists formerly noticed

42:47

the artist. Yeah but

42:50

um but yeah, so yeah, I think

42:53

I not that I didn't stand up for myself,

42:55

but I was just I just was all about, like nothing

42:57

bothers me. I'm okayre happy.

43:00

But now it's like I have to say

43:02

stuff, say things to people, will

43:05

communicate with them, and took them

43:07

in the eye and didn't have an honest

43:09

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm so proud. That's great.

43:11

Chris, Oh I'm gay.

43:13

That's to

43:15

say, guys come

43:18

at me for

43:20

you, and I'm excited to for

43:23

your journey. What's happening

43:25

to us. I just feel like you so

43:28

um people. You guys did. I don't know when

43:30

it's coming out, but you guys did a great um show

43:32

at the Willburrow. Because some of the fans from

43:34

your show. I was in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, which

43:36

is like an hour away, and like I would say,

43:38

like ten fans were at your wilbur show

43:40

and the next day and

43:42

I was just saying, how great it was. I love a double comedy

43:44

show. That was one of the best gigs ever. How great

43:46

is the wilbur Boston

43:49

Number one? I love comedies

43:52

in Philly are my two favorites. Comedy Chicago

43:55

is a great comedy minds Boston,

43:57

Buffalo, Buffalo Trouble.

43:59

He's really got to go to places where they don't

44:02

have anything else to look forward to. Yeah. I just did

44:04

shows last week in Portland, Maine, and those

44:06

were excellent. I've heard the comedy

44:08

scene there was good. Yeah, we've never been to Portland.

44:10

Was the third line there? Nice?

44:13

Yeah, listen and are going to drive up? You're going? I was like,

44:15

I was like, they're not playing anywhere closer now, we want to

44:17

got Town. It's

44:19

a six hour drive, but like the Lopster. It's

44:21

like just it's nice and quaint and cute. So

44:23

it was Portsmouth, New Hampshire, so quaint,

44:26

like I like the New England therein New

44:28

Hampshire wasn't that, But I was like it was a good show. Like do you ever hear

44:30

of Curley's Comedy Club. It's in the middle of nowhere,

44:34

New Hampshire, but it was a great It's

44:36

like when I say club, I mean like they wrote

44:38

club on a small house. It

44:41

was fucking so fun. Really, yeah,

44:43

I want to do this summer. I want to do like a

44:46

like a quaint and cute town comedies

44:48

tour with like Jared Freed, like just

44:50

me and quaint, your quaint

44:52

little cute fucking towns. You guys are quaint

44:55

and que quaint and que and we just

44:57

do a look because I was like when I was in Portsmouth, New Hampshire,

44:59

Portland, Maine, it was like I love this ship and like just like what

45:01

you ladies said, like they don't have comedy, they

45:04

are really so it's like the whole town was like thank

45:06

you. We just sit like

45:08

we get our town is cute. But like after a while, like okay,

45:10

like can let me come in and say. Fuck. Yeah,

45:13

it's fun to come to those places

45:16

from the city because you're like, oh, like saltwater taffy,

45:18

like breakfast

45:22

streets. Yeah. I think Portsmith

45:25

was like built in sixteen twenty. It's

45:27

like one of the first. It was beautiful up there. Damn.

45:30

Yeah. Oh that's fun. So yeah,

45:32

so that's what. Congrats to you. Thanks,

45:34

thanks for coming on the podcast to get

45:38

well the other thing, well, really quickly I wanted to

45:40

talk about well maybe but maybe this was because of the nature

45:42

of your podcast, but when I was telling you

45:44

about the sex we had on your podcast, and you were

45:47

just very receptive, and I thought that was so

45:49

like they Devin gave me hope for men

45:52

that like a guy wasn't gonna get so butt hurt and

45:54

eat like up his own asshole with his

45:56

ego. I don't know, but maybe you were already

45:58

been making those discoveries so you kind of knew that you

46:01

Yeah, a different track, but I just really

46:03

appreciate it. And then the fucking KFC

46:06

guys at you fucking

46:08

twats replayed the

46:10

clip after I did the show,

46:13

because I was gonna say anything unlessen I talk to you

46:15

about it, and oh, fuck.

46:17

I was so mad. I know, somebody came up

46:19

to me and goes, I was at a live recording and they just

46:21

replayed the two second clips over

46:23

and over, and I'm like, I get a life.

46:26

I know, you know some

46:29

reason like the thing that

46:32

bothers me so fucking

46:34

much, like I'm palpably

46:36

bothered by like men who

46:39

can't handle when the

46:41

woman moves on or if like the woman, like a

46:44

guy who like hits a girl, like

46:46

kills a woman because it's like she wasn't

46:48

gonna have anybody else, wasn't you know right right?

46:50

Because it's it's I don't

46:52

know, I still have to figure out why because my dad's not like

46:55

that. But like since I've been a little kid, i'd be like that. It's

46:57

the most disgusting quality instacure

47:00

you're a man, it's the most like it's

47:02

it's the only thing that like truly like

47:04

emotionally it's disc

47:06

like I'm like, you fucking loser,

47:11

No, but I'm bringing up is I think

47:14

like it's but like I think there's other men that like

47:16

probably would say but like fucking like

47:18

I would one thousand percent like get

47:20

physically involved if I ever saw

47:23

like that happening in front of me, and I think some guys

47:25

would be like, oh, that's their ship and they would

47:27

feel the same. I know, I don't think you know, but but

47:29

like every time I see an insecure man, it's

47:31

so gross, it's so like fucking

47:33

gross, like I want to hit them. So

47:36

um, I think that's why. Maybe maybe because

47:38

it's like I'm so violently

47:41

moved the other way that when somebody

47:43

says something about me like oh whatever,

47:46

I it just doesn't bother me because I think, like,

47:49

right, because it's like a button for you. I'm not saying

47:51

like I'm so secure, but I'm so violently

47:54

moved by insecure men. I think I

47:56

can then be like, well, don't talk about how little

47:58

my dick is, you know, or like whatever,

48:01

it's not Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Keep

48:03

saying that that's be like why you're successful

48:06

in this business though, because I mean, to be successful

48:08

in entertainment you have to be able to handle rejection.

48:11

And like you know, rejection is something

48:13

that happens a lot in romantic or in sexual

48:15

relationships, and happens a lot in the entertainment business

48:18

no matter how great you are. Well, I think I think

48:20

a big thing. You know, it's not a necessity,

48:22

but what really helped me. And like you know, I'll push

48:25

on my daughter unless she really doesn't

48:27

want to. But like I really think like

48:29

sports, like being coached, and like learning

48:32

how to lose. Like some of my peers,

48:34

some of my very very close peers, like they do not know

48:37

how to take rejection or lose. And it's like you

48:39

like it's very simple. It's like why are

48:41

you flipping out for like you just lost, like

48:43

the other guy got the part, or you didn't get

48:45

into the common club but so and so did, or you didn't sell

48:48

it so and so did, like Ferries Daggers.

48:50

It doesn't have to It's like I've dealt with loss,

48:53

losing games since I'm five years old. It's

48:55

just like coaches my whole

48:57

life, and like this, you deal with loss, deal

49:00

with losing the game, So I could just deal with that. So

49:02

I think, like I want I want my daughter to

49:04

like have that in her. I want to fucking

49:06

box. She loves boxing, Like

49:10

I know, I know, but she's like she loves

49:12

it. She's like that's what she wants for her birthday. She wants

49:14

like a little pink boxing. So I wouldn't,

49:17

like I don't. I mean, if by the time she would

49:19

like be sparring, it would be totally up

49:21

to her. I wouldn't push her into that, and she would have to

49:23

tell me. She would have to tell me

49:25

at an older an age of like ten eleven

49:28

years old, daddy, this is what I want to do, and then I could

49:30

be okay, but like just to do the classes

49:32

and like like learns like she wants to

49:34

do it, Like she she practices her little hooks,

49:36

and she's lefty, so it's like when you're a lefty boxer,

49:39

she'll come at you with that ship. Yeah, because

49:41

lefty is fucking hard to fight. Yeah.

49:44

Her mom's a lefty too. I got caught in the face

49:46

many a time by her mom mom. Yeah,

49:49

with that left hook. You're like, oh well yeah,

49:51

I wouldn't. Yeah,

49:56

but I mean that's box and

49:59

lots of stuff. Yeah, Because even if she doesn't want to play

50:01

like a traditional sport, like I mean like plays

50:04

like plays get rejected, trolling

50:07

squad, you can get things

50:11

yeah, yeah, chorus, concert choire

50:13

and also just like I think, like not being the best

50:15

I think is good and then striving

50:18

to be the best. Yeah, without

50:20

like in a healthy way. Yeah, there'll be no Like

50:22

I think for me, it's like when

50:24

we get as like she's in taekwondo now and

50:27

she loves it and so it's great. Um,

50:29

but it's like, yeah, it's like you don't have to be the

50:32

best, Like you don't have to be the best, but also

50:34

like you're not all winners, like worlds

50:36

are not going to celebrate seventh place, no

50:38

participation awards. I'm not going to say, don't

50:41

talk to me anymore. If you come in seventh place, It's okay.

50:43

It's like a for effort, but you didn't stop

50:45

anything. Like we all get a

50:47

trophy. It's like, no, you don't. You don't all

50:49

get a trophy. The first place gets a trophy.

50:52

And I'm not saying put all the value on that,

50:54

but it's like you can't, you know, because then because

50:57

then I just feel like, Okay, you have to be

50:59

on us with people. Yeah, either you're good

51:01

or not, either good or not. I just hate

51:03

that. There was a Halloween costume contest

51:06

in my town and I took it very seriously

51:08

and I would like spend weeks and weeks on this

51:11

costume. And I would usually like

51:13

win for a second or third, which are the trophy

51:15

ones. And then they started giving participation

51:17

words to everyone, like people would show up in like a fucking

51:19

cowboy hat, and I was like this, now I'm angry.

51:22

Now it's because it's like they're they're they're

51:24

value to do. Because kids started crying

51:26

and I'm like, well, maybe they need to cry, and then just

51:29

learned that that was a dumb thing to cry about. Yeah.

51:33

Yeah, my kid is in school now. Most of her classmates

51:35

are Chinese, and why I

51:38

don't know. She's just like the part of Brooklyn where I'm

51:43

telling you. First of all, when

51:47

she goes on these play dates with like Chinese

51:49

kids. Number one, it's most

51:51

you never meet Chinese. These

51:53

kids, like I've never met their actual parents.

51:55

It's always the grandparents because the parents are just working.

51:57

It's not like some like you know, the other kid.

52:00

It's like Mason's dad has a startup

52:02

and you get to ask to talk

52:04

to him about bullshit like my blog is taking

52:06

off. Shut up. It's like, you know, these

52:09

Chinese people are just fucking working, like they're

52:11

really actually working, contributing to society,

52:14

and and they're not trying to find themselves

52:16

at forty. This fucking guy Ben

52:18

Fog is just out there in the factory, so

52:21

good for him. And then and then

52:23

when we do when the Chinese play dates, it's like there's

52:26

no like is your child allerge to

52:28

this? It's just like, yeah, this is just what we have.

52:30

You're going to eat it. And if something, if you're allerged

52:32

to it, We're just gonna deal with that. You're

52:35

not gonna die. Yeah. Yeah. And then like my daughter,

52:37

like I'm telling you, she had a play date last week and

52:40

they were on an Avocus. All

52:42

the whole play date. They were just playing with an Advocus and

52:44

she was like, I want an Advocus. It's

52:47

like like math,

52:49

how like Chinese learned math? It

52:51

was amazing Chinese

52:54

learned math. It's a whole system. That's why they're very good

52:56

at math because of the Advocus. They're not asking

52:58

Barney to count their number. No.

53:03

I'm like really, like so happy

53:06

with the Chinese. I hope

53:09

you always refer to them as full title

53:11

Chinese plate, Chinese plates, because it's like these

53:13

other white It was so annoying her. Sure,

53:15

it's culture, man, I love it, And I

53:17

don't know, I think it is a race thing.

53:20

White people are in their

53:22

own fucking head over everything. God,

53:24

possibly because they can be Yeah,

53:27

I just couldn't. Everything is a worry.

53:29

Everything's a worry. A bit about white women

53:31

and how they're so concerned over every and

53:33

I'm one of them. I'm not. I'm not, but

53:36

I think it's so fascinating. There's like a I

53:39

feel it's like there's almost like this boredom

53:41

that like because you're not being like no

53:43

one's prejudiced against you. Yeah, it's like, how fun

53:46

is your life? That hard? Probably not? You know, I'm

53:48

not talking about you, but I'm talking about this. I was doing.

53:50

People have it easier, like Cleveland.

53:53

You know, the Cleveland Indians is the baseball team,

53:55

and there's like people are an uproar about

53:58

the Indians being an offensive name, but it's I went,

54:00

I was there. I was playing hilarities and

54:02

a couple of months ago and they were protesting

54:04

outside the UH. It's like fifty

54:06

people they're protesting that the name of the Cleveland

54:09

Indians is offensive and all these signs, but it

54:11

was all white women. It's like Native

54:13

Americans already even at this protest, trying

54:15

to busy getting the pipeline. People

54:17

don't fucking care. It's like you, Barbara,

54:21

are just playing pretend like you care

54:23

because you're just bored. Because she needs something to care

54:25

about. Food shopping. Yeah, you

54:27

know what I mean. Just go do go,

54:31

do anything. Just go. You

54:33

know why why it's a Tuesday afternoon. Why

54:35

are you protesting? Go? Are you? Do you have work? The

54:38

Chinese are not here, The Chinese

54:40

grandparents are not there. They're fucking

54:42

doing tai chi and the parents,

54:45

I'm telling it's so great. My message

54:47

to anyone listening to this, have your kids go Chinese.

54:50

Chinese. I'm pushing Chinese

54:52

as a as a race on my daughter. She

54:54

loves she loves him, and I think her little boyfriend's

54:56

names would be like the Rachel do Wait,

55:01

her boyfriend's names what his name? I don't know his Chinese

55:03

name is. But his name is David, and he's a little

55:05

Chinese boy. His name is just David. His

55:08

name can't be just He's not but he's

55:10

never just David. In China.

55:13

Parents don't speak English, Okay, then he doesn't

55:15

have They call him David. I'm like, there's no way

55:17

this is the real name. But we call him David. And it's

55:20

great. I mean, he just comes in and takes

55:22

his shoes off, sits Indian style on the floor. Any

55:25

snack you give him, oh yes, his name,

55:27

American style on the floor, any snack that's given to

55:29

him. I like that. He just you would

55:31

say, pretzel style, yea

55:36

is not even good anymore. It's indigenous people. You're you're

55:39

behind indigenous people style on the floor.

55:42

And then and then yeah, it's just like

55:44

it's just there's a clear difference between her non

55:47

Chinese friends versus Chinese friends. And I love

55:49

the Chinese. They're

55:51

great. These kids are great. I love it. Just don't let her wear

55:53

like a Geisha costume for APA's

55:56

appropriation. And they don't have birthday

55:58

parties, which is weird. I don't

56:00

know, like we've never gotten unless I was

56:02

just not getting invited. But I was like, there's all

56:04

these Chinese kids, how come we've never I have family

56:06

party, family stuff, which is good. They keep

56:08

it my friends family oriented.

56:11

Yeah, my friends Chinese, and she has. Yeah, her

56:13

her family stuff is strong.

56:15

I love it. Ye family first. Yeah,

56:17

I like that. Yeah, go Chinese China,

56:20

Team China. Yeah. Same. Thanks

56:23

for coming on the podcasts, for having wait, where can

56:25

we find you and see you and all that stuff? Okay,

56:27

Chris d Comedy dot Com

56:30

for all my dates. I im like San Diego

56:32

and and there's a lot of ship

56:35

out there in Nashville, England. Um

56:38

a lot. Christie Comedy dot Com, Uh

56:41

working a lot, so please come swipe up

56:43

and what's your handle on Instagram and Twitter

56:46

at Christie Comedy on everything perfect

56:48

and everything the board. Thank

56:50

you very much. This has been Guys, We

56:53

Fuck, the Anti slut Shimmy podcast. This

56:55

was a bonus episode. Uh yeah,

56:59

I was like, I don't know, well, I

57:01

wanted to give more information. I don't know what to say at

57:03

the end of a bonus episode. We'll figure it out.

57:05

Like You're welcome by Guys.

57:07

We Fucked is presented by Luminary

57:09

Media, Created and hosted by Karin Fisher

57:12

and Christina Hutchinson, Edited by

57:14

Mike Coscarelli, Associate producer

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57:19

Becker back

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song when we first

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surely have it, This

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nag is not so ba that

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much balls

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and something more that spread something

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will us to get us?

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58:16

is a pun Cleveano. Y'll

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never reno better people without

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n time more. You won met us

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from you

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both calling. You find file and

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try to ca