0:00

You were now checked in to Stand Up

0:02

New York Labs. Oh

0:04

yeah, welcome to Guys We

0:06

Fucked. Guys. We

0:09

Guys, we book. I'm

0:11

Christina. I'm correct. We're sorry about

0:13

last night. Coming to you from Stand

0:15

Up New York Lass Guys Anti

0:18

slutt Shaming Podcast, I

0:21

never stopped. Hey,

0:24

everybody, welcome to another episode of

0:26

Guys We Fucked, the anti slut

0:28

shaming podcast that is knocking

0:30

down the charts on iTunes, chart topping,

0:33

chart chart topping. We got highest

0:35

overall podcasts on iTunes. We were I think

0:38

the highest that I saw us get because believe me, I

0:40

was talking every five seconds, was like in

0:42

the thirties. Yeah, and then on in the comedy

0:44

we got to number ten, I believe. Yeah,

0:46

thank you suckers for listening and making us

0:49

popular. Yeah. I had no idea come on trading

0:51

and tweeted at us, and then Louis J. Gomez

0:53

was like, oh, yeah, you've been up there. I've been looking at don't

0:55

worry, I stopped those charts. He was, well,

0:58

I had no idea to even look at the charts. Neither

1:01

had I knew there were charts, but I would never

1:03

think. We just got on iTunes, so I would never

1:06

think that we were at the top. Well, I remember,

1:08

like a week ind somebody told me, oh, you're like

1:10

the top three hundred. I was like, that's awesome because

1:12

there's hundreds of thousands of podcast on iTunes. So I

1:14

was really excited about that. And then I just kind of forgot about

1:16

it. Yeah, and then when Karna and I found out, we found

1:18

at the same time because someone tweeted us and we couldn't

1:20

sleep. Yeah, and I and I touched Christine. I was like what,

1:23

Like, I was like, I'm about to

1:25

lie my head down on my pillow. And then I was like, well,

1:27

this isn't happen. Yeah, I know. I was like

1:29

I don't know. I was just so oddly excited by that.

1:31

This is karnn by the way. No,

1:33

well, because I realized we stopped saying who is who, but the

1:36

listeners don't know who? That's true.

1:38

That's true. Yeah, I had a weird revelation.

1:42

I guess you could say I don't know. Uh

1:44

so you know how when Darren came on and I

1:46

told the story a couple of times. When when Darren

1:49

and I were dating, like my first major boyfriend, I

1:51

discovered he was looking at horn and I got really

1:53

upset, and I'm like, why can't you just drink off to me?

1:55

Yes? Right? And then I kind of figured it out. I got

1:57

I got wiser, and I really

2:00

like I rationalized. I was like, Okay, everybody looks at

2:02

porn. It's fine, right. So so

2:04

basically I've been going through my whole life with

2:07

knowing, like assuming every boyfriend I ever date,

2:10

either in a serious relationship or just I'm seeing. I'm

2:12

like, oh, I just assume you're jacking

2:14

off to women on the internet when I'm not around, which

2:16

is very like dramatized, but

2:18

I know that. And so I kind of always

2:20

had this thing in my head because the first time I ever discovered

2:23

porn, I was way too young. I was like six,

2:26

and my mom had like kind of

2:28

bad depression when I was younger, and I remember my dad would

2:30

always just lock himself at his office and I was

2:32

like, what's that about? And I remember I went on

2:34

his computer one day and I just discovered the

2:36

porn that he watched, and I was I didn't even

2:38

know that porn was a thing. I never saw

2:40

anybody naked before, like on a screen,

2:43

and I watched some of it, and I got

2:45

so terrified. I think I internalized,

2:48

like my mom's sat over there and my dad's

2:50

just watching this, that's not okay. So I

2:52

feel like I kind of hung onto that from like a six

2:54

year old perspectively, just

2:56

just a little bit. So the other day I

2:58

came home and I was just thinking about it, because

3:01

I was right, I was doing a lot of free riding in my in my journal

3:03

for stand up journal, not not like

3:05

a dear diary thing. Uh. And

3:08

I asked him, I said, what do

3:10

you think about me jerking off to other men? It

3:13

kind of stopped him at his tracks. And I never thought

3:15

to ask a guy that because I was always

3:17

curious because I always felt like a

3:20

little little, little tiny part of me I

3:22

felt like I wasn't good enough to

3:24

to to jerk off to or like I don't know,

3:26

like I ackter bait to other men. No,

3:28

no, no, like meaning like my boyfriend's always

3:30

had to look at other people in the computer and

3:32

I wasn't hot enough. But a lot of women

3:35

feel that way. Yeah, that's

3:37

crazy though exactly. And I knew

3:39

that. I knew that, but I kind of still felt it. And

3:41

I asked him I was like, why do you think about

3:43

me jerking off to other men? And it kind of he

3:46

was just kind of like, oh

3:48

uh, well, I mean I guess

3:50

I guess it's okay. I'm like, God, see, okay,

3:53

good. I just wanted to I just wanted that reaction,

3:55

and now I feel okay because I feel like all porn,

3:57

there's no porn for women, but we've

3:59

had adapted to liking the porn that's available.

4:02

I think they actually have started creating women friendly

4:05

porn that's a little bit softer, but no one wants

4:07

to watch that. But I don't like the It's not I don't

4:09

like softness. I just want the guy

4:11

to be featured more. I

4:13

don't I like watching a guy jerk himself.

4:15

I like watching a guy jerk himself

4:18

off. I do not like watching

4:20

guys in porn jerk themselves. Like the guys in Porner

4:22

are usually pretty discussing that why can't

4:24

they be hot too? It's like male strippers, like, yeah,

4:26

I'd love to watch a sexy man dance, but I don't want

4:28

to watch the kind of men who are a male strippers.

4:30

I don't want to watch them dance. I want to watch someone

4:32

with like tattoos and a nose rainfall. Where's

4:35

that guy? Yeah, but why don't they have like a porn starchy

4:38

looks like Johnny Depp who just comes in after

4:40

a long day's work, takes a shirt off, stars smoking

4:42

a cigarette, just Jackson, because that guy is a famous

4:44

actor. That's so annoying. There's

4:46

just more women who want to be famous, so that's

4:48

why there's like there's that's why there's good looking

4:50

women in porn. But like the guys who are good looking

4:52

and want to be famous don't need to do porn

4:54

because they're actors. It's just it's supply

4:57

and demand. Yeah, I just wish they had more

4:59

porn than I have that

5:01

animalistic feeling inside

5:03

me of like I want to fucking I want to watch

5:05

a guy jerk off. I want to masturbate

5:08

to a guy, but there's always a girl in the picture.

5:10

So I'm kind of like, oh, that's hot too. I really like that.

5:12

But what ends up having is I'm just masturbating

5:14

to all the girls because the guys are hardly in it. And that's

5:16

fine. It turns me on, but I feel like I forced

5:19

myself to like that. I do like it,

5:21

but I kind of wish that. I don't know, I

5:23

just wish there was more. I'd rather

5:25

I like watching guys jerk off, but not

5:28

a random guy that I don't know that doesn't really

5:30

do it for me. I have videos of

5:33

guys I fucked or people who are

5:35

trying to fun video video.

5:38

I have several in my Yeah,

5:41

I showed you one. I believe I didn't suck that guy

5:44

yet there was a photo shoot of yeah,

5:47

yeah, you have another guest. There was a photo shoot

5:49

a while ago that was just of guys with erections,

5:52

but they were wearing underwear pants and I thought that was

5:54

so hot. Yeah, I'm like, why can't

5:57

we take back not taking

5:59

back control because we really had it, but

6:01

like, why can't there be more

6:03

of this? But

6:05

why can't there be more of this stuff that's get

6:07

catered to women's animalistic instincts

6:10

Because I know everyone's like, well, it's in our nature

6:12

of ver mena want to suck everything, and women are just want

6:14

to get sucked by a lot of guys. But what if I wanna

6:16

like look at a guy and just use

6:19

him in my town? I ye know, I

6:21

absolutely agree with you. I felt that my whole life

6:23

and I never really think business venture.

6:26

If anyone wants to email us, all right, so we're making a new

6:28

porn company, guys. I would god, I would

6:30

love to make a porn company. I really, I am, honestly

6:32

like because I have a passion for filmmaking.

6:35

I do have a film degree. Uh,

6:37

And I honestly like I when

6:39

I was younger, I used to tell people that I wanted to

6:41

be a porn star. And I wasn't joking, Like

6:44

now, I just like there's other things that I want to do more

6:46

and unfortunately I cannot do both, and I

6:48

kind of just like sucks. And I also I realized,

6:51

like as I've had more jobs, that when you start to do something

6:53

professionally, you stopped to enjoy it. You

6:55

stopped enjoying it in your everyday life.

6:57

So I would never want to have like sex for money

6:59

just because I was stop enjoying it. I agree,

7:01

it would become tiresome to me, and like just

7:03

like I would never want to eat food for money, you know.

7:06

So I don't know, but that's

7:09

no, that's very true. But I just never

7:11

really think I didn't realize. I kind of thought this my

7:13

whole life and felt a little threatened by it. I felt

7:15

a little threatened by the fact that every guy

7:17

that I ever saw was probably

7:20

most likely jerking off the hotter women all

7:22

the time, all the time, but whatever they wanted

7:24

to master it. It is totally normal. I mean, towards the end

7:26

of my last relation, my last like the major

7:28

major one, I was thinking about like

7:30

people I should not have been thinking about while while I

7:33

was having sex, because I just I guess there was

7:35

like a lapse in uh, you

7:37

know, emotional connection. So

7:40

and that's bad, but it's not

7:42

the best, you know. Sometimes I felt to cut

7:44

it a lot of times though I'm

7:47

thinking of someone else, even if I'm attracted that that person,

7:49

it's just like because it's the naughtiness

7:51

of thinking about someone else that

7:53

person. That's why I like the idea of like Stephen

7:55

begging another girl when I'm in the room, because I'm

7:57

like, this is so wrong. Yet I

8:00

I would actually be weirded out if someone

8:02

was not jerking off or like or

8:04

sexually aroused by other women, because that's

8:07

like too obsessed with me, but too were

8:09

aroused by other guys. But I feel like there's not as much

8:11

of opportunity to kind of I don't

8:13

know, Yeah, I don't know.

8:15

Well, the whole thing is, I'm like, I'm like, I just actually

8:18

I have this dunkin Donuts iced coffee,

8:20

and which means things are bad because I'm not a big

8:22

coffee drinker. But I was in

8:24

Harlem in the dunkin Donuts and all these dudes

8:26

were in there and they were just like they were the worst. They

8:29

were the worst kind of people and

8:31

just in the dunk and donor yeah, and just

8:33

just just they had their fucking shirts off.

8:35

There was cursing, their yelling at the

8:38

store owner like just like they

8:40

were. They were just hanging out and

8:42

not buying anything in the store owner and it's a really

8:44

small dunk and Donuts and like and the guy was like

8:47

are you gonna buy anything where? Like can you get out? You know whatever,

8:49

because I'm sure he deals with this ship all the time and it's super

8:51

annoying. Uh. And it wasn't racist.

8:53

It was just like get ship or I get off

8:56

the pot, you know. And so they

8:58

started just like yo, you get off

9:00

your shift. I'm gonna fuck you up, like just feeling.

9:02

There was like a little girl there number

9:04

when she was ordering coffee, so I think her life was in shambles

9:06

already. She was like

9:09

I was like, she was like asking

9:11

me how to utter coffee, and I was like, I should come

9:13

by herself. Yeah a wallet, Yeah

9:16

I change person. I was like, I don't think you should. I don't

9:18

know, but anyway, that's on the point. And then they started talking

9:20

about yo, you get pussy, you get pussy.

9:22

You and I just say you screaming it no, no, no, into

9:24

each other, and it was just like number

9:27

one. I want to make it clear. I have such a

9:29

problem with the saying do you get

9:31

pussy or saying I get pussy. You

9:33

don't get pussy. Pussy is not milk.

9:36

You do not go to the store pick

9:38

up some pussy. And some woman

9:41

fucking is nice enough one day to give

9:43

you some pussy. You borrow it, you check it

9:45

out like a fucking library book. I swear

9:47

to God because sometimes I like most times,

9:50

I live off my shoulder, but sometimes

9:53

I go absolutely apeship. And that's a lot

9:55

of times where I have problems with like things having to do with marriage

9:57

and stuff, because because there's such this ownership. I don't

10:00

like the rings. It's like a dog's name,

10:02

like a dog pissing on a tree. I don't like that.

10:04

You're your own person. You just made a commitment

10:06

to each other that you're both gonna, like have

10:09

a sound life together if you decide,

10:11

yes, exactly, not that much of a binding

10:14

commitment to get out of it, exactly.

10:16

And I was just so repulsed,

10:18

and I just said anything because you know what,

10:20

no, And I the only reason I didn't

10:23

was be honestly because I was in a rush because I had to go

10:25

make Paula's bachelorette party itinerary

10:28

and if I had had if not for that, and I was like,

10:30

cringe, do you love Paula more than

10:32

you hate these people? And

10:34

I almost I want by a group of copings. And I always

10:36

told him. I was like, yeah, someone's about to go down and that's sunk,

10:38

and don't. But then I was like, you know what they're gonna I don't have time

10:40

for these questions, you know, also,

10:43

like what's I always try to think like there's

10:45

no perfect thing you could say in that situation,

10:47

because then they're just gonna take what you're saying. Who

10:50

someone does go to dick and some

10:52

dog, Oh yeah, yeah, they're just don't You can't listen

10:54

with dumb. Yeah, I am not Sydney

10:57

Pottier. I am not going to change someone's

11:00

you know, opinion in five minutes. I

11:02

would like to think I am that inspirational, but

11:04

I am not. But I mean hopefully it's something

11:06

that just as the culture starts changing

11:09

gradually that these people people

11:11

like this will stop acting like that.

11:14

But I don't know. I'm just gonna I'm in a

11:16

weird I'm I'm in a weird I mean like I'm in a weird,

11:18

like romantic mood. I've been like feeling emotions

11:21

and like period. Uh no, I

11:23

actually skipped my period this month because I um,

11:25

I tricked my body with the birth control because I don't

11:27

want to have my period in Montreal. Um

11:31

and uh yeah, So I I don't

11:34

know what's Yeah, Whenever anytime

11:36

those situations pop up, and I do think, it's like I

11:38

always want to say something because I get so angry.

11:40

I'm like, you're gonna die alone,

11:42

And then they're like, have a that with pussy. I'm

11:44

like, god damn it, I can't win. You just can't

11:47

win over when stupid people, when you're with

11:49

stupid people. Yeah, I really wanted to throw my coffee

11:51

on them, but it was I just mean, you know, I

11:55

I think I could. I I'd be prepared to take

11:57

a punch, but I always

11:59

this was not a weekend for I always fantasize

12:01

about sometimes when I get like, I'm just angry. I'm

12:03

just in an angry mood. I'm like, I wish

12:05

someone would just like spit in my face so I would

12:08

have a reason to punch them in the fucking

12:10

yeah, let it rip. Granted,

12:13

if that would ever happen, I'd probably just like get

12:15

knocked out within the first two seconds. Well,

12:17

I'm the kind of person who I've never violent,

12:20

like violent attacked someone. But one

12:22

day I'm gonna and it's gonna be it's

12:25

gonna be so Oh, it's gonna be so

12:27

But you're gonna like I Am going to

12:29

annihilate somebody. That's what I feel

12:31

too, just one day. I would love

12:33

to just in advance, I apologize

12:36

because you're gonna need some reconstructive surgery.

12:38

But you know what, it's going to feel real good, but

12:41

some and it's going to be a man, some poor

12:43

man is going to get twenties.

12:46

However, many are you gonna randomly

12:48

beat someone up I don't know. Are you gonna hope

12:51

that they do some? The thing is like sometimes,

12:53

like I would say, like some most times I let things roll off my shoulder

12:55

with this. But just every now and then I do

12:58

stop people on the street when they're like the cat calling in it,

13:00

and I be like, like usually

13:02

it's when people are talking about other women,

13:04

not so much myself, because I don't whatever myself,

13:06

Like I I just know that I'm better than you, but

13:09

the other people, like, I don't know, and

13:11

I just see women are still just

13:13

acting in a good way that is not good. Hanging

13:15

all over men on the subway, just doing it.

13:17

It's just bad. It's bad. Just

13:20

I don't know the way the way no, just the way

13:22

women act, especially actually especially

13:24

I see a lot more in urban communities. Uh

13:27

just getting the attention of men because

13:29

I live in Harlem, because they think getting the attention

13:31

of men and dressing. Uh,

13:34

you know, I am all for dressing. Dressing

13:36

hot dressing is with minimal clothing. That is

13:38

my number one favorite thing. But uh,

13:41

you should be doing it because you look good and you're awesome,

13:44

not because you want a man to pay more attention

13:46

to you. I agree, it's

13:48

not and when you see it, it's obvious. Yeah,

13:51

good about myself unless you tell me I'm going to

13:54

town meeting. But yeah, I don't know what here

13:56

you here is I'm in a weird place. I met the

13:58

perfect person. You know, a lot of stuff happens

14:00

you met the perfect person. You know. Yeah, we're

14:02

not going to go into it in detail, but it's okay,

14:04

it's fine. Let's read some emails

14:06

from people. We get a lot of emails. We read.

14:09

Just sing it, guys, now, we read every single

14:11

one of them. Unfortunately, don't have time to respond

14:13

to every single one of them. But one day I'm

14:15

just gonna like sit down and that's whiskey and

14:17

just so if how well Dan have

14:20

he responds like a year later. Sometimes I

14:22

love I love getting these. Yeah they're

14:24

so girl. Please keep sending them and let us we

14:27

do read everyone, uh,

14:29

and if you and if you wrote us something really a heartfelt

14:31

or something like your suicidal and we read

14:34

everything. Sometimes

14:36

we just I mean, sometimes we'll get an email

14:38

and I'll be in the middle of like a conversation and I

14:40

will mentally check out of that conversation to

14:42

read the email and respawn to my head,

14:44

but it gets typed out and that's

14:47

that's really all. Just eat. Sometimes it's

14:49

just good to get it off your chest. So at least someone did

14:51

read it, so you can share like the weight of it with

14:53

somebody else. Just know that we read every word and we thank

14:55

you. It's sorry about last night show at gmail dot com

14:57

if you guys, and thanks for all that tweets. We get a tough

15:00

of tweets, leely, I love them. That's so

15:02

fun. And that's s r y about

15:04

last n y T on the

15:06

Twitter. Okay, so this uh

15:09

this message comes from a person named

15:11

Evan uh Hi. I'm

15:13

a transman, meaning I was born with a female body

15:15

but identify as a man. I've been on testosterone

15:18

for two two years and completely

15:20

pass as a male. However, once the clothes come

15:22

off, I still have female parts. I date

15:24

women, always have, but now I'm presented

15:27

with quite a dilemma. Dating can be hard

15:29

enough, and now I have the big surprise to tell

15:31

any potential girl because well,

15:33

they'd find out sooner or later. So I

15:35

was wondering, what do you think? At what point

15:37

do you would you want to be told?

15:40

So you didn't feel misletter or something,

15:42

uh, basically that he has he has a vagina. Also

15:45

for each for each of you personally, would

15:47

it be a deal breaker? And do you

15:49

think I have any chance of just hookups?

15:51

I have been pretty much in the long term relationships back

15:53

to back. It's been easier to get girls to see

15:56

past it once they get to know me. But I love the

15:58

option to just meet a girl out and

16:00

one thing leads to another and we fuck, no strings attached.

16:03

But I feel like it isn't an option for someone

16:05

like me. I

16:07

really admire when

16:10

people don't give a fuck about

16:13

their body, their appearance, something something

16:15

that's something that maybe socially like abnormal.

16:18

And I feel like if I was

16:20

flirting with Evan and he came up

16:22

to me and we're having a good time and

16:25

he goes, I first of all, I would want to

16:27

know before the pants came off, because that is

16:29

never something to just go away, because

16:31

it's just we're not there yet, we're not there yet. It's just it's

16:33

just it's just alarming, yeah, exactly,

16:36

because you're not expecting, you're thinking one thing and you

16:38

don't know. But I I think I almost

16:40

think it would be a turn on if I was flirting

16:42

with him and he goes by the way, I just want

16:44

to tell you I'm trans and I have

16:46

a pussy. I would feel

16:48

like, oh shit, this guy doesn't give

16:50

a fuck, like and I'm attracted and

16:53

and if I if I wanted to do that, I would absolutely

16:56

say yes. And I feel like I would. It

16:58

wouldn't deter me. Like we were getting along and there

17:01

was a good vibe and be like, all right, let's do this, let's

17:03

figure it out. Definitely, I have the adventurous

17:05

spirit, so I think I think it's good to just tell

17:08

people right off the bat, but also kind of own

17:10

it as kind of sexy in itself. Well, I have

17:12

a very personal experience

17:14

with a transman because I my co worker

17:17

at the SPA for a while was

17:19

someone who was in the process of going through the transformation.

17:22

I was absolutely fascinated and encouraging

17:24

him to, you know, write blogs

17:26

and like just keep track of it, and he was getting any awareness

17:29

I was. But yeah, but he didn't have the money

17:31

to get the penis

17:34

surgery that I don't even know because a lot of insurance

17:36

companies won't cover that because it's not

17:38

a medical necessity. Well, you know what, when you're

17:40

born saying you identify as a man, but

17:42

you're born with women parts. I mean, you can also

17:44

be considered cosmetic. It depends,

17:47

I mean, because what you feel like on the inside is

17:49

always going to be there regardless. I mean,

17:51

like I could, I sometimes feel like I'm a

17:53

girl, you know, with blue eyes. That doesn't mean

17:55

that, you know, I don't know. I have mixed feelings about

17:57

that. Um, but it's

18:00

definitely there. And there are organizations out there

18:02

who help you, who give the

18:05

hormone shots for free or discounting

18:07

races. Um. So that's

18:09

definitely if you feel like that, and there's a lot of support

18:11

groups because that's a very specific thing. And I think it's something

18:14

that we're starting to understand more as a culture,

18:16

but certainly are not there yet because I feel like the gay

18:18

situation just much more

18:21

understood, whereas the trans

18:24

that's still confusing to people. Uh

18:26

And and it's cool. But anyway, Yeah, my friend who I worked

18:28

with was going through that and he was very

18:30

sexy, is very sexy. He looks like Bruno

18:32

mars uh and I

18:34

definitely, uh, I ought

18:37

to be honest, I don't think I would date him,

18:40

only because after a certain amount

18:42

of time. I would need a penis inside me, like that's

18:44

just a very just bottom.

18:47

Not even that's

18:49

not going to do it right. Well, I love penises

18:52

like there's nothing I can't nothing I can do

18:54

about that, not to see a penis grow right in front

18:56

of your eyes. Yeah. And also I have no interest in eating

18:58

pussy like I would do it, but it's

19:00

not. It's just not what's going to sexually arouse me.

19:02

I know that it's it's cool,

19:05

but I would definitely hook up because

19:08

I'd be curious. It's

19:10

totally sexy. I love androgynous looks.

19:13

I do too, but a part of it would be curiosity.

19:15

Another part would be a turn on because

19:17

you just don't give a ship, so then therefore I don't

19:19

give a ship. Yeah, and I think that's sexy.

19:22

Yeah, No, it's totally sexy. Um.

19:24

While we're on the subject of this

19:26

is just a jarred my mind. Uh.

19:29

Grant, who was on a couple

19:31

episodes ago, he texted me last

19:33

night and he wanted to invite everyone to the

19:35

Marriage Equality USA c T which

19:39

is going it's a booze cruise and all these and

19:41

all the money will go towards marriage Equality

19:43

USA, which is a wonderful program. Christine and

19:45

I both marched in the Gay Pride Parade for

19:48

a Marriage Equality USA. It's on Sunday,

19:50

July from six thirty to ten

19:52

pm. Tickets are thirty bucks, or if you

19:54

bring a friend, it's fifty total.

19:57

Uh leaving from Pure forty between Christopher

19:59

Street and West House in New York City. We'll

20:02

put the information on our all our social

20:04

media. Yeah, but it's really fun thing to do

20:06

when you can meet some of the stores of guys cruise

20:10

with us, I mean as a super

20:15

good deal. Uh So. The second letter right

20:17

now is from David. He says, Hi,

20:19

guys, I'm a huge fan of the podcast and extremely

20:22

happy about the work you're doing to legitimize

20:24

women's sexuality. As a married

20:26

man, I've noticed a strange dynamic among my

20:28

other coupled friends. We never discuss

20:30

sex. We're all New York City liberals,

20:33

mid thirties, etcetera, and yet I have no idea

20:35

about any of their sexual activities. It's

20:38

odd, as isn't that the core

20:40

aspect or a core aspect of

20:42

marriage? If so, why not discuss

20:44

it among married friends? Are non

20:46

married couples better about discussing sex

20:48

lives while out with other couples. I have a hard

20:51

time imagining it's just our group of friends, as

20:53

we have a pretty wide range, and this is true with

20:55

all of them thoughts. I'm not trying

20:57

to be weird or pervy, and my wife

20:59

and I are be with our sex life. I'm just interested

21:01

in hearing about this part about my friends lives

21:04

and always curious for good tips and

21:06

new ideas. Keep up the amazing Workbust

21:08

David. Oh, David, this is an interesting

21:10

question. I like this question. Um.

21:14

I mean, I've never been married, so I don't

21:16

have any thoughts on it

21:18

from that side of the spectrum. I don't

21:20

think that would change anything though Well. I mean, the

21:22

thing is that when i'm if i'm

21:24

with, I try to avoid couples

21:26

ship as much as like, because it makes me want to kill myself.

21:29

Why. I just don't like. I don't

21:32

the chances that I like someone else

21:34

and their significant other very low,

21:37

and it's just corny, like I want to

21:39

hang out. I don't know, I just don't like these arranged

21:42

group things. Like I'm a adult. It's like a play date

21:44

set up. It's fucking weird. It's like, let's go to a

21:46

pumps and pearls party. Yeah,

21:48

and the sandwiches. It's stupid. Um

21:51

but anyway, that's cool that you do that. Some

21:53

people like it, I know doing

21:56

it. Yeah, that's why you get to a certain age, my thirties. I mean,

21:58

every all your friends, A lot of times are I think

22:01

it's very important what married or not to go out by

22:03

yourself. But it is um so

22:05

about the sex. I don't I don't really see couples

22:09

together don't talk about sex their sex

22:11

lives with other couples except for Steven, and you

22:14

talk about your sex life with their couples. Okay,

22:16

that's totally definitely I'm curious. I

22:18

I'm want I'm like him, I'm like this this guy

22:20

who wrote us. Right, But so when you and Steven

22:22

are out with another couple together, you all for talk

22:25

about your sex lives. I always at least

22:27

bring it up once and you feel the vibe

22:29

of the room. It's like stand up comedy. Feel the vibe. If they're

22:31

definitely not feeling that they're not budget and then

22:34

that sucks and don't talk about it. Yeah, and

22:36

I'm gonna I'm gonna say that's

22:38

that's your your the minority.

22:40

I don't think I've never I've

22:43

never been in a situation where

22:45

that's happened because it's because it's

22:47

not because I think almost it's like

22:50

we are to present in front of the other person

22:52

of the opposite sex that you're not having sex with.

22:54

It gives a swinger vibe, definitely,

22:58

Yeah, it's a little. I think it's

23:00

you're you're definitely sending out

23:03

a swinger vibe if you're if

23:05

you're doing that, I think it's not

23:07

a normal topic of conversation because, I mean, you always

23:09

say things you a're not supposed to talk about, what sex, religion,

23:11

and politics. I mean those are my

23:13

three have the politics?

23:15

Who cares about that? Um? But yeah,

23:17

so that's why it's not happening. So don't think it's just your married

23:20

friends. It's definitely just the it's the couple.

23:22

Also, I feel like a lot of people too, they

23:24

sex is precious to them. They don't

23:26

want to share it with everybody because they want to keep it that

23:29

preciousness whatever the funk they want to

23:31

right, And it's that marriage thing that wants to get married.

23:33

It's kind of like you made this commence me to each other you're

23:35

almost like in a box in a room that's you.

23:37

You're closed off off the market

23:40

done, which is like, great, that's that's why you get

23:42

that suffocating feeling. But that's

23:44

my answer to that question. So I

23:47

mean, you know, you could try try

23:49

bringing it up lightly, but or maybe

23:51

just go why are you guys so weird about talking

23:53

about sex? Because I think that the worms

23:55

it doesn't seem like they've ever tried

23:58

it. Really, try

24:01

for sure, try it lightly because it is

24:03

something that if the people don't want to talk about

24:05

it, it definitely could wear them out and be like, yo, we're not going

24:07

to dennerally get either way he

24:09

wants to be friends with people like that, you'll get the answer

24:11

in the look of who you the eyes

24:14

of who you am, because you're you're either going to get

24:16

a oh fun, no we're not going there a look or

24:18

oh well, actually look, and they're gonna be excited

24:20

to tell you about it. Yeah, And to be honest, I

24:22

would have to be attracted to both the people

24:25

in the other couple for me to want to talk about sex

24:27

as of really, yeah, I don't want to talk

24:29

about sex with people not attracted to gross. I don't

24:31

want to hear about your gross sex life. I

24:34

do, I don't. I'm curious. I

24:37

this is something we're in a passive judgment, right, do

24:41

not want to hear if I am friends with an

24:43

ugly I hate ugly people having

24:45

sex exactly exactly, No,

24:48

I don't hate that they're having sex. I don't want to hear

24:50

about it. I do not, So I

24:52

don't care. And what that sounds like, So that

24:54

sounds like that conversation is also acts

24:56

as a rouser for you of how

24:59

I cannot talk about sex like, I'm not going to talk

25:01

about it. I'm not kinsey, I'm not going to talk

25:03

about it in a fucking like oh well,

25:05

you know, it's just yeah, I don't know. And also

25:07

I don't really have any interest in talking. I'm not Yeah,

25:10

I don't, I don't know. I just don't. Here doesn't

25:12

do no, no, no no, I'm saying with a couple of a couple, I love

25:14

talking about sides with my girlfriends, love talking about sex with

25:16

guys. Doesn't do it for me in a couple of situations.

25:19

You don't do it for me. The times that i've I've

25:22

like I'm thinking about to the times that Steven and ire very like, oh

25:24

yeah, let's talk about this. It's always usually one person,

25:26

not another couple. And because

25:29

you know what though, really it just it feels

25:31

weird. I don't bring it up with other couples

25:33

exactly, Like Steven and I together, we'll talk about

25:35

sex like in a crowd

25:38

of friends. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

25:40

I do talk about sex with anybody

25:42

that I that I'm attracted to. I get like so

25:45

aroused. Yeah. And also for me when

25:48

I have a boyfriend, it's like very I do like

25:50

to keep that private because it's like a private thing

25:52

that I have, Like I have a dream that I can one day I have a

25:54

boyfriend for many years, I have a dream.

25:56

Yeah, and no one would know, and that would be the best

25:58

time of my kind of I mean, obviously to

26:00

talk about in the podcast all the time, but I'm very anti

26:03

in a relationship with Stephen on Facebook,

26:05

social media or not put in real life, very

26:07

open about because he's with me. I mean, he's there,

26:10

I live with him, and you speak about him a lot,

26:12

but not Yeah, social media, you're is he's not a

26:14

presence, but like in your real life, you're you're your own

26:16

person and That's why I feel like, I mean, this is a whole

26:18

nervo subject, but you gotta be your own person, for

26:20

the love God, be your own person. So this

26:23

next guest is his own personally. I mean,

26:25

I feel like we're only a synopsis for this episode.

26:28

It should just be like, trust me, this is gonna

26:30

be a good mood because, oh,

26:34

should we just bring him on? He's here right

26:37

here? Okay, I think I just fell in

26:39

love. Turn

26:44

the corner and

26:49

we'm that with her guests. Smiley,

26:52

Danny, your I feel like there's

26:54

a sound effect for your teeth every time you smile and

26:56

goes. He's very much.

26:58

I'm very happy. Well, when I hang out with you,

27:00

sometimes I'm like, you seem like I'm

27:02

depressed everything, and then other times you're like hey

27:04

everybody, I'm like, oh, okay, you're

27:07

this Danny. You're happy Danny, right, I like the ship on people.

27:09

But then I'm like happy and positive to yeah, like you're

27:11

really nice. But then you can also say like the meanest

27:13

ship. It's so funny. Oh yeah,

27:16

I've never seen him depressed, but I

27:18

have. Yeah, well except for when

27:20

you call the veils line and you have no

27:22

spots that's the only time you seem upset. I

27:25

find super charmed. So you far, let's

27:29

just get right to that. Yeah, everyone fucking

27:31

knows. Anyone who knows you and is

27:33

listening pretty much knows, unless

27:35

like your mom is listening, which I hope she hasn't

27:37

shout out pull she's

27:41

like she's a liberal woman.

27:44

She now, she's like a conservative Christian. Okay,

27:48

cool, Well I do think we're horribly

27:52

She would like you, she would judge

27:54

you in her head. Oh totally, okay, Yeah, that's all right. Well, so

27:56

she's a lot like you.

27:57

You're judge.

28:00

You may judge. You judge

28:02

a lot of people. I don't judge people. That's not true. Fight,

28:09

I'm just kidding. Oh, I don't think it's our first. I feel like you

28:11

had a good thing going on, like you're hooking

28:13

up and it was like no both equally, no strings attached.

28:16

It was good sex. Did you enjoy the sex, Danny? It

28:18

was nice? Yeah? Yeah, that's

28:21

pretty it was nice, nobody

28:24

said on the roast of Joe Massey. Yeah,

28:26

so apparently, which

28:29

joke. We might have been blacked out. I don't know you would have been hooking

28:31

up for how long at that point. Wait

28:34

a minute, it wasn't that many times or that long. Looked

28:39

we I mean last summer we were working a lot.

28:41

It was just last time. It was isolated. Last summer

28:43

into fall. We were working alone. When you sucked me last

28:45

summer, there was great. But

28:48

I mean it was a good I would say at

28:50

least ten once a weekend

28:53

on a weekend frequent there.

28:55

Well, you know there was like there was like, all

28:58

right, well the first time he had sex was a Memorial Day

29:00

weekend of last year. Look at you remembering

29:03

everything because you made it into a big deal, like,

29:05

let's all right, Danny's playing cool. It's

29:08

my job to know this, Like this is what the

29:11

podcast is about. That

29:13

why you catalog this for a podcast?

29:15

Oh, it wasn't even doing the podcast.

29:17

Wasn't even a glimmer in my mind. When I sucked

29:19

you for the first time, I was obviously not. It was just

29:21

a Sperman and egg at that point. No,

29:24

no, no, no, no no. Um.

29:26

Oh, by the way, I think you still have a pair of my underwear that I

29:28

need you smell

29:31

it? Do you sniff it? Be honest? Actually

29:33

I had to watch and then it's just you know, it's

29:35

just like regular undwear, which was

29:38

such a Danny thing to do because he's like, he's

29:40

like immaculately clean. I've been to your apartment.

29:43

It's very nice. Thank you, thank you. I don't

29:45

remember being cleancause I was too drunk. Yeah,

29:47

but I assumed it was clean because there's so many people there

29:49

too. Yeah. The boxing party, that was fine. Yeah, yeah,

29:52

uh yeah. I didn't get a funk about boxing. And I'm like, oh, yeah,

29:54

whatever, whatever you get free booze. Yeah, okay, good, I'm there. Yeah,

29:56

you're like drunk in the kitchen and dancing. Was

29:59

I really that's a like me. I'm just

30:01

kidding. So how did that

30:03

come about? You fucking you guys working?

30:05

Well, let's have Danny, I feel like you. I would love to

30:07

hear Danny side of the story because I know the

30:09

real answer. Um, I actually don't

30:11

remember exactly how it began. I guess we were just hanging

30:13

out drinking, doing comedy stuff in a

30:15

bar and then you just came home with you one night. But

30:18

eat okay,

30:24

playing it cool guy, it's fine. Immediate

30:27

every photos of both of our faces. Um.

30:29

So I started

30:32

at Christina and I's New Year's party

30:35

two thirteen. That was the first time that

30:38

the first time, you're like trump. Okay,

30:42

we didn't look at that night, No, we did not that

30:45

she chose it. That was the scene you

30:47

planted the seed really that night,

30:49

Yeah, because you were

30:52

progressive, you weren't showing an effort and I don't like that.

30:56

So no, people wanted to leave.

30:58

That's what happened. That's fine. You're loud, I'm

31:00

not. I didn't cry. It was fine. I

31:03

was I was crying but over something. Um

31:06

No. And then for the next and then it wasn't

31:08

like it was like six months later that or like

31:10

five or six months later that we hooked up. It was the end

31:12

of May, so it was like almost six months later that

31:15

we hold up for the first time. But every time I would see you would

31:17

like hit on me. And then uh,

31:19

one time in particular, when we were in front of the

31:21

cellar, we were we were just chating

31:24

because I'm always having to see you. I do like you. I think you're

31:26

cool. Um So

31:28

we were chatting and I think I suggested,

31:30

like, oh you should fox so and so like another

31:32

female comic. Whatever. You know, I'm always trying to help everybody,

31:35

you know, me just trying to help being man. Yeah

31:37

and so, and then I walked away and as

31:40

I was walking away, you like grabbed my arm and you were

31:42

like, what I want you? Like, it was

31:44

very It was a good line. You

31:46

should reuse that line. Do you have a lot of It

31:50

was funny. Do you have those?

31:52

Do you have like a list of those up your sleeve?

31:54

No? I just get aggressive what I wanted something, and I just kind

31:56

of yeah, and I really spect

31:59

that. I really respect that you're yeah,

32:02

stop looking at me like that. Yeah,

32:05

you're so creepy to me. It's so funny exactly.

32:08

And now I'm like so mean, like we've savaged the rapport

32:10

where I'm just say the meanest things to you.

32:12

Like one time Danny was like, come

32:14

on, come on, let's just look up. Come on, come on, even

32:16

if I was single, I wouldn't want to touch you. And then

32:18

he kept going, yes I did. I did, And I remember

32:21

I remember going yes, I

32:24

swear no, no.

32:27

But I remember feeling so liberated because I always

32:29

never want to say mean things to people, but I've

32:32

established that guys are like kind of like repertoire,

32:34

and it was just felt, yeah, rapport,

32:36

you're absolutely right, and please and please

32:38

note that that was Christina talking. So he has tried

32:41

to have sex with both of us only succeeded with

32:43

one. That's all right, one for two your

32:48

door and that really do you have a mental checklist

32:50

of all the people you want to know? I? Do

32:52

you do? Well? You have a boyfriend? Yeah, but like that

32:54

doesn't mean when I stopt

32:57

like number eight, I think,

33:00

be okay, Well, this is this is the mind

33:02

games. Guys. You're you're hearing it. Why can

33:05

I say one mean thing that I did to her in when we

33:07

were in my bed one time? It was so funny? Yeah?

33:10

Yeah, well yeah, please tell me this is going

33:12

to be this is great. We're all excited me.

33:14

She was like, do you want to come on the Guys We podcast? And

33:16

I said, only if I can say that I Christina,

33:19

Oh, well, I don't remember that, but I'm sure

33:21

that did happen. That's very rude. You're

33:23

a dick. I am a dick. No, Well, because

33:25

I know, because that confidence come from exactly

33:28

um oh, I know a lot of places trying

33:31

to be joking confidence.

33:33

Yeah, do you have a big dick? Not? Really?

33:36

Is it like average? I don't know I've never average.

33:39

I don't even answer that. No, No, I'm going to bed.

33:41

The sex was really good with you. I'm not gonna be I'm gonna

33:43

be uh we Well, you said we would

33:46

have a good sexual chemistry. I didn't.

33:48

It's like mind blowing, but I think it was good for a buddy.

33:50

It was a solid fund buddy relations throwing and it wasn't

33:52

mind blowing trying

33:55

to deny that we even like had a thing. We

33:57

did a thing. Agree, Jesus Christ.

34:00

So you have like I'm a monster. I

34:04

am a big, big fan of the fun buddy.

34:07

That's my favorite. You know what? The best thing is a

34:09

no strings attached buddy where the sex

34:11

is good is the best because then when

34:13

you're out, you're right. I want to have sex, but

34:15

I don't want to try and find somebody makes I

34:18

want to have sex with the guys there's no strings attached

34:20

and it's good sex. That's the best you

34:24

have? How good before?

34:26

Yeah? I have? I have? So are you not

34:28

a fan of it? I mean I think you're a relationship

34:30

oriented that I am deep down, I don't know,

34:32

Well maybe I don't know. Well, my problem is that you get a

34:35

buddy and then you like them, and then they end up getting a boyfriend

34:37

and then that's done. I think,

34:39

like, wait in the wings until that flames

34:42

out. I have somebody like that for many years.

34:44

I don't wait you wait for girls. I mean

34:46

I'll stick around. I mean, griend

34:49

your persistence. Thank you. It's

34:53

not always fun, but yeah,

34:56

Christina act so quite Yeah. She texts me like one in the

34:58

morning like, oh you want to care? Yeah?

35:01

I text I literally put a Facebook status out

35:03

that says, is there anybody in the West Village

35:05

that wants to carry? Yeah? And I texted

35:07

everybody I know who isn't. The way is

35:12

Christina, I think does some things or

35:14

sometimes so innocently that people really

35:17

don't really like. And that way genuinely don't want to

35:19

coming from anyone else would totally be a booty

35:21

call or flirtation, and coming from Christina

35:24

it is. She means

35:26

exactly what she says, like like do you

35:28

want to sing karaoke at one am? Coming from

35:30

Karin me means yo,

35:33

do you want to suck me my ass? Oh?

35:35

Karaokee keyword for says do you want to do

35:37

karaoke? From one? I'm from? Christina

35:39

means do you want to do karrio? Seriously,

35:41

I need a duet partner for On the Wings of Love,

35:46

and I want to sing karaoke. That's what it means from

35:48

Christina, right, you know, I just got wrong there. Any

35:50

thing is about me. Usually I would just text you

35:53

want to funk, because I'm also not a beat around the

35:55

bush, right Actually, if I want to God, I've

35:57

texted man. There's this one guy that was buddy

35:59

for well it was it was a while ago, but

36:01

probably for a strip span of like five years

36:04

on and off, and I would just want to just

36:06

when I had my mindset on I want

36:08

to suck this specific person that it was

36:10

either going to happen or I was gonna be so sad

36:12

like I was gonna do anything to make it happen.

36:15

And I would just text him like, I want to fuck you so

36:17

fucking bad right now? Where are You'll come to wherever

36:19

you are. I'm very direct. So

36:22

if I asked to do karaoke, I really

36:24

just want you to sing a meat lip song with me. And

36:26

also, I don't think everyone knows just how much

36:28

Christina loves karaoke. Pretty much, anything

36:30

could be happening anywhere, and if karaoke

36:33

is happening. It'll I did karaoke six

36:35

pm on a Monday. Were the only two people there.

36:37

She could be holding a baby and she would drop it

36:39

like if I was going

36:41

into labor, if I was pregnant going to the labor

36:43

and I was at a karakeeper and be like, baby, you

36:46

need to fucking hold on one goddamn second. Well,

36:48

Mommy sings the song. Yeah, yeah, this is

36:50

true, this is true. Alright, back

36:52

to the sex, was so, what

36:54

do you think about these guys enjoyed the sex? You

36:57

like having Karen as a buddy, like

37:00

fun buddy match. But I was saying to you both

37:02

earlier, like I feel like you have this you both have this ego

37:04

thing you ego play of like there's

37:06

a mixture between Oh, we're gonna insult each other now

37:08

and we're gonna be nice to each other now, and oh, I can't say

37:10

anything serious because then you would afterwards.

37:13

We're both comics, right, but you're

37:15

both strong minded comics.

37:17

You're like a dude. It's like I'm like a dude, but then

37:19

she's also like a dude. Something like it's

37:21

kind of gay,

37:27

so kind of gay. Well, I'll

37:30

think that as a compliment. Yeah, I actually

37:32

think that's very sweet. Do

37:34

you like that? Do you like a sort of woman? Do

37:37

you know? Because sometimes I felt like I was too

37:39

assertive for you? Yeah, I mean it depends

37:41

on the situation. Like just to hook up, I think

37:43

it's great, but like if I'm going to dat a girl seriously,

37:46

it could be a little bit graceful. Yeah, no, I knew

37:48

there was no shine how Yeah, ever, want to date

37:50

me? And I mean, did

37:52

you? I don't

37:54

really think it would be good dating people? No,

37:56

I don't think so either. I feel like it's a good, fun buddy

37:59

situation. I feel like you're very kinky

38:01

person. Am I correct in saying that? I

38:04

talked about that a lot in stand up? But I don't really do. I

38:06

mean, I guess so I don't know a lot of porn like

38:08

guys do. So I guess you know, my taste have gotten

38:10

a little bit more aggressive over the because you watch

38:13

like aggressive porn? What kind of worn do you watch? I

38:15

mean, just like regular porn. But that's

38:17

what everybody says. And then eventually I have to talk to him

38:19

for a half hour, like well, like when she is you

38:22

know what is like it's a

38:24

young girl getting sun by an older guy. I like

38:26

that too. I like that too, not older, but

38:28

like or like a dude, black guys with big

38:30

decks fucking like teen teen girls

38:32

that are nineteen. That's fucking I mean you can't

38:34

beat that. So you like like odd couples,

38:37

well, I like that power mismatch

38:39

there. Yeah, I like older guys

38:41

too. But yeah, when I like bring that bringing up that

38:43

you're older, you like flip the funk out. And did I

38:45

get mad at you that one time? Yeah, Daniel was high

38:47

and I was drunk, and this was like, oh

38:49

that's a bad and yeah

38:53

it was a horrible never planes, that's

38:55

a really good point. I didn't think about that, you know, it was bad

38:57

news. And I didn't even know you were hot, and until

39:00

one of your friends like, oh he was probably high. Because like different

39:02

little bit friends about this? What

39:04

are you different? More like your friends are talking

39:06

to me about what I

39:09

said? More like your friends were talking to me about this.

39:11

There's nothing like leaving your part, like going to the

39:13

next open mic after you fuck Danny and then

39:15

like three people come up to you like oh you Danny,

39:17

Oh boys, wait really yes, they

39:20

just said oh you, Danny, And I was like, all

39:22

right, okay, that's fine. I guess that happens. So,

39:24

Danny, you talked to your guy

39:26

friends about sex? Then I would say yeah, because

39:28

I feel like a lot of guys did that girl?

39:30

Yeah okay, but do you go any

39:33

deeper than that? Yeah? Like how close

39:35

friends? I'll tell him a lot of ship Yeah, like, oh she

39:37

tried this move and I really liked it. Yeah. If it's something

39:39

like that makes me look good, like yeah, I made it come

39:41

like three times, it's pretty hot. Be never talking about your

39:43

struggles sexual struggles in

39:45

bed? Not really. Guys don't want to talk talking about

39:48

that. That's weird. You keep it positive. Yeah,

39:51

it'll make me less of a man. Ever, is suing

39:53

for an hour? Do

39:56

you guys talk for an hour? How long is this? God? And

40:01

No, I do not like an hour anything.

40:05

I think twenty minutes is perfect. Twenty minutes,

40:07

like twenty minutestes is good. Sometimes I kind

40:09

of like like six minutes sex. Well,

40:12

it's like in a closet or something in

40:15

bed. I would prefer taking like

40:17

I like fifteen to twenty minutes. Yeah,

40:19

I think that's a good. What about if I like that. I agree.

40:21

You know what I like to do. I like to funk for a while and then let's

40:24

just take a little break, let's take a little pause. Yeah,

40:28

just do it two or three times for the first come. Why not?

40:30

Yeah, that's all stopping and starting is

40:33

the best. Yeah, it's fun. Sounds

40:35

like that's right over there. But I'm going to get it one more time right

40:37

now. Wait a little bit, I'm gonna make myself weight.

40:40

Yeah. And then, uh so

40:42

when did your sexual career begin? I didn't

40:44

have sex three? Okay? She sounds

40:46

so ashamed about that. Why the

40:50

party in high school? I think it's a bad

40:52

move though, Yeah, because you don't really know what you're doing.

40:55

I mean people do, Yeah, most people do. I

40:57

think when did you give it up? For

40:59

the first of mends of times? We thank

41:01

you? You're very sweet. The

41:04

slush past,

41:07

she texted me that she sucked a bunch of dudes or

41:09

um, what do you say something? Something had

41:11

hook up buddies or something a bunch

41:13

of I said, I had hook up. I had a ton

41:15

of hooking, a ton of buddies. They

41:18

sucked Palmer, how many girls? Yeah? I

41:21

don't know, man, I think it's probably like forty to

41:23

fifty's I look at it and going

41:25

okay, yeah, but I've been singled for most of my twenties and thirty

41:27

so you know, yeah, So I mean like that's not

41:29

like a dainty number. So why would

41:32

you possibly like see anything to christ you

41:34

know or myself? Because Christina,

41:36

because she has a boyfriend and she seems like kind of an

41:38

upright girl. I didn't know that she was doing.

41:42

I don't have buddies. Well, I have a boyfriend, that's

41:44

something before that. Yeah, yeah, Steven

41:46

strike me as the kind like Curran seems a little more like so

41:49

I was started to stay slutty, but you know a little more like

41:51

let's just when

41:54

I was single. I'm gonna get kicked off the I

41:56

would just love to die because no, you're a perfect guest,

41:58

because you're kind of an asshole um, and I would

42:00

love to dive into like like like what does that mean?

42:02

Like what a girl seems a certain way? Like what the

42:04

funk? Like? What does the fund? Does that mean? We're two

42:07

of you, well, the two of us. People

42:09

think we're the same person half the fucking time. By

42:12

looks, Christina hasn't much more of a like innocent,

42:14

Like you look like the Swiss milk Swiss

42:16

miss girl she dresses more

42:18

interestingly time. Yeah,

42:21

it's a Swiss miss. I mean she has blind but I don't know

42:23

you get the braid. Let me just say what I

42:25

was single before Steven. There's a period of probably like two

42:27

or three years where I was single before Stephen and

42:29

I would I would go out every week and I'd be like, who's

42:31

it going to be to night? Like I just had like a

42:33

like a couple of guys that I

42:35

really liked and trusted. We had good sex, and we had

42:38

a good like we're like you guys, like we're talking, buddy.

42:40

It's different crins banging ten dades a month. No, she's

42:42

not. I think it also if she was huge misconception

42:45

of me, and also exactly thank

42:47

you Christina. Well, god forbid we view towards

42:49

any judgments on this podcast sucking

42:53

annihilate you. When I was single,

42:55

it was so much fun because every night was an

42:57

adventure. It's like, who am I gonna fuck? I

43:00

really want to have sex? And when I drink, I'm

43:02

like, okay, what knows? Really? Who am I? Which

43:04

one of you guys? I want to suck somebody

43:06

so bad? Oh yeah, I mean I don't have to be drunk,

43:09

but when I am, I'm just like, yeah, let's go

43:11

because I have less It's not that I have less inhibitions.

43:13

I'm just less self conscious and I those

43:15

walls of like but what if? What if? What if?

43:17

Kind of come down and I'm just self

43:20

conscious about person

43:22

or self conscious about about about

43:25

like oh is this a good idea? Like all these questions

43:27

that are not the safety questions of

43:29

like oh just make you know, use a con none

43:31

of that ship, but all the do you really want to do

43:33

this? You? Like that voice in my head that's just annoying

43:36

and doesn't do me any good goes

43:38

away, right, And I'm like, okay,

43:40

yeah, that's what I did last week. And I'm like, I don't

43:42

know, let's explien right, Okay,

43:44

do you think? Um?

43:47

Can we you know, we still want upset

43:49

only because we do this? Danny?

43:52

Do you fucking do a podcast that

43:54

is based off of the amount of dudes you you

43:56

do not? So shut the funk up? Thank you a

43:58

little nestery talking about everything about this

44:01

sects except the number. This is more of like this

44:03

is our this is our well for us

44:05

personally, we just don't want to down

44:08

number. It sounds like you guys are ashamed to be

44:10

sluts. No, absolutely not be

44:16

perceived. How many episodes of the fucking

44:18

podcast are left? You idiot?

44:21

Hello? Yes, Oh,

44:24

it's so blindingly obvious your marketing strategy.

44:26

Sorry, it's

44:30

Do you think Ard and I are slut Do you think stay?

44:33

Do you think she's slutty? Because you kind of loose crazy

44:37

you want to a lot of people. Well, I

44:39

don't think slutty, slutty. I always

44:42

kind of associate with like a negative Whenever

44:44

anybody We've talked about this before. Whenever whenever

44:47

a girl calls another girl slut, it's

44:49

because she's jealous that the girl is likely hotter

44:51

than her and getting laid more than her. Whenever

44:53

guy calls a girl slut, it's like because that girl won't

44:55

suck him, right, That's why?

44:58

Am I accurate? I do think it. There's

45:00

like some girls will have sex with like one or two

45:02

people the whole lives. Some girls will like anybody

45:04

on a Saturday night. That's more like slutty as the traditional

45:07

term is to find. Yeah, that's what we're trying to be, like you're

45:09

trying to get away from that. People.

45:12

I've met men and women who kind of instead

45:15

of alcohol, they use sex and they kind of just go

45:17

off the rail and kind of you can tell it's unhealthy.

45:20

And it's not because having sex with a lot of people, it's because they don't

45:22

really like that they're doing it, but they do

45:24

it anyway. You just kind of tell when people are like fucking

45:27

I've met like one person like that. She would just like

45:29

instead of drinking and doing drugs, she would just suck

45:31

people. And I knew

45:33

I could sense that that was like a safety, like

45:35

an unhealthy like vice

45:38

for her, like she was using it to avoid

45:40

other things. Oh yeah, so yeah, I mean there are yeah,

45:44

totally. But if you're having sex, yeah,

45:46

so if you're having sex to enjoy it, I don't So

45:48

why did you Why did you want to have sex with me to

45:51

begin with? I mean, were you just asking anybody and however

45:53

we're taking Yeah, I wouldn't

45:56

hook up with you, Okay, Well that's fair. No,

45:59

I mean I just I like, I'm like, seriously, I mean I

46:01

didn't know if it was just like, let me ask eight people and

46:03

whoever gets back to me first. Sometimes

46:06

I do that when I was single. Yeah, but

46:10

no, no, no, I had happy with any eight of them.

46:12

Yeah, I was gonna say exactly it was for

46:14

me, It was probably about five. I was like, whatever, one

46:16

of these five people that are in the circle, if I would

46:18

fuck you, have earned their role

46:20

in that circle. So I would be happy with

46:23

either one. Oh. One time I had a party and

46:25

there was two people there that I wanted to funk, and literally

46:27

in my head, I go, whoever leaves last getting fucked? Yeah,

46:31

because have you ever been in situation? It's like I want

46:33

to suck both of these girls. But whatever

46:35

one's gonna suck me, I'm gonna sucker whatever one lays

46:38

first or what exactly, Like, yeah, you hope the

46:40

hot one stays, but if she doesn't, well there's always

46:42

sucking that other one. Well, okay,

46:44

the table's turned a little bit charnce Cock in her head.

46:50

So are you a relationship

46:52

guy? Charm saying are you know I've

46:55

only had Do you like relationships? Are you like me? Yeah?

46:57

If it's with the right person. I mean, you know, I'm like

46:59

thirty eight and saying, what's wrong with you? But I've only

47:01

liked a couple of girls that I've wanted date for a long time.

47:04

Yeah, do you think something is wrong with you?

47:06

No? I don't. Okay, good, but

47:08

you said a little down. Well, I feel like society

47:10

is like, well, you should be settled down at this point.

47:12

But I don't know. I mean, I like the girls

47:14

that I like don't like me. That's been my experience.

47:17

Sometimes the girls are like a lot. I

47:19

don't know. There's just like two or three girls in New York that I really

47:21

liked and then I did him for a while and then they went into it and

47:23

I was just disappointed about that. Do you think your personality

47:25

changes when you really like someone and maybe you act

47:28

like a huge pussy she

47:30

say that, like I say it,

47:32

like I know, No, I don't think so. No.

47:34

I think it's like the comedy stuff, and like it's a

47:36

different lifestyle. And like I smoke pot and the one girl didn't

47:39

like that, and yeah, smoke

47:41

a lot of I don't smoke a lot of pot. That's

47:43

not true. And like in the weekends. I never smoked during

47:45

the week I feel like you probably smoke as much as me, but

47:47

you smoke more publicly. Like I go home, I smoke

47:50

a lot at night, like before I go to bed,

47:52

but very often I don't usually smoke like

47:55

on the streets, yeah, you know, or during

47:57

the day. I don't think it really ever smoked during it. But many

48:00

nights a week are you doing probably four or five. I

48:02

just woke like Friday and Saturday and a little bit, so

48:04

I smoke more pot than you probably, But I literally

48:07

I'm like a bad box smoker because I'll take it in han

48:09

and call for twenty minutes, and then I'll take one more

48:11

and then I'll go to bed. Yeah, exactly. We don't need a lot,

48:13

yeah exactly, And I don't want to it's

48:15

like three or four drags. Yeah, we only smoke

48:17

a few nights a week. I don't. Yeah. I mean with both

48:20

of you, I've seen you both high multiple times, and it's never

48:22

really like I mean, like one

48:24

time you Yeah, but you're just

48:26

like silly. It's not like it's not You're

48:28

not like annoying. It's just it's fine.

48:31

That's nice to know, because I really thought I was annoying. That's

48:33

why I don't smoke up people, because I'm like so

48:35

worried that I'm just generally a little bit

48:37

annoying when we're together anyway, But

48:40

I mean not not overbearingly so

48:42

by any means, I mean it just makes you feel really good.

48:45

You're fine. I bet you're a great high

48:48

because I really don't. I don't like want read smokers,

48:50

but neither you guys bother me. You. Yeah, like that's why I'll

48:52

never smoke. We didn't get on stage. I'll never smoke weed

48:54

and like get in front of a microphone. I

48:57

hosted open mic once and I said, well, this

48:59

is a perfect place to experiment and see if I'm

49:02

really funny high not

49:04

funny at all. I was Sara aoid that no

49:06

one else thought I was funny. I know, I

49:09

can't know. I can't risk it. I don't want to.

49:13

I think I do, but I feel like, yeah,

49:16

I can do it. But the second it's a mental challenge.

49:19

I freak out because when I'm high, I just want

49:21

to like look at things and have people talk to me and

49:23

talk to me. You know what I mean? How are you guys

49:25

when you perform drunk? Oh, I'm great?

49:27

As for

49:30

me my time, there's a very specific

49:32

like in between, like

49:35

like just drunk enough, I'm fucking hilarious

49:37

and I hate that because, um,

49:40

you know, then you're like, do you think you have to have like a

49:43

drink? But then like a little too much.

49:45

My timing is off, and I feel

49:47

I feel like I'm driving a car that's out of control.

49:49

Even if I watched the tape back and usually it's like fine,

49:52

and only I would know that I was a little out of control,

49:54

but I don't. I like to if you want to feel most importantly

49:57

in control, that's the number one key for

49:59

a stand. You gotta feel in control. When you've lost control,

50:01

you've lost everything. They gonna be on stage. I

50:04

heard about an incident when you were at Caroline.

50:06

An incident, well, a joke that you

50:08

said something about, and please correct.

50:11

What was the joke? What was it? You know, something

50:13

about like, oh, shoving sex with a girl. I was

50:15

having sex with a girl and she was like, I'm gonna

50:17

fuck you, want to suck you all somewhere, And you're like, whoa

50:20

to say? One day at a time and they're like, hey, Karen,

50:23

oh, that's because kind

50:26

of watch my joke. I

50:28

didn't. I wasn't there, so I'm sorry. It's based

50:30

on some of the current side to me. When we were huking up. So

50:33

was like, you gonna me, I'll start with choking. She did

50:35

it. I see a visual in my head, like waving

50:38

my aask. I was on top, right, Yeah,

50:40

definitely on top. Yeah, you're in my head too,

50:43

go ahead. And I'm just saying, you gotta you gotta be careful, um

50:45

when you get a girl to do dirty talk, because or when

50:47

you're doing dirty talk with somebody you don't know very well, because

50:49

in the heat of the moment, you can end up committing to something you

50:52

only want to. Oh that was the joke.

50:56

Yeah. So then I'm like, she's

50:58

like, oh, you're like my guys, I feel good. Yeah,

51:00

even all summer. I'm like, oh, let's just play by here.

51:03

It's funny.

51:06

But Karen, you did not like them? Why

51:08

didn't you like? She? I don't I

51:11

like I like the joke. I don't like it being

51:13

revealed in a

51:15

big crowd at Carolines or mediocurly

51:18

sized crowd. Um uh.

51:20

And then and then and

51:23

then Danny going hey Karin when

51:25

all like my and all these people I know were

51:27

here, and then hearing fucking uh Julio

51:30

and Josh and everyone back like

51:37

a fucking

51:39

harrish Juco girl in the background,

51:42

fucking Danny Palmer is Gwen Stefani,

51:44

and he got to harrish you girls with them

51:46

just a girl? Did you wait?

51:49

So were you pissed? You were annoyed more than like pissed.

51:51

I was in. My friend who was with me, was more

51:54

angry than I was. She was. Yeah,

51:57

I mean I didn't want to, all right, but I

51:59

didn't state that it is about you. I

52:01

just said, hey, her in. But

52:04

only people that know us would know what that was. A

52:06

reference here doesn't know?

52:07

You care care? I don't

52:09

care what the audience things. I honestly, do

52:12

you care? I don't care our friends about it? No?

52:14

No, I don't. I don't care. Our friends do

52:16

know that we've had sex? I have never. I mean I've I've

52:18

said it publicly. I think I feel like you're

52:20

more ashamed that we had sex than I am. Not ashamed.

52:23

You've seen ashamed. You've

52:25

seen a shame, and that's fine. I

52:27

don't know my perception of it. Shames

52:29

what? Why? What? To be honest an,

52:31

he thinks I'm a slut and he's ashamed. No, I'm

52:34

not. I'm just kidding. I'm not ashamed. I think you're a great

52:36

girl. That's like,

52:38

yeah, I know, you're great girl. And then he patting me on girl

52:41

that I would like be typically into. I'm

52:44

what, you're not like the typical girl for me

52:46

that I would be into. The Christina

52:50

really big boobs, just

52:53

hot, so not

52:55

hot. No, you're hot too, but she's just that's

52:57

more of my style. I mean, that's just my

53:00

t tell me to be honest. So then why didn't you just

53:02

try to have sex with Christina? Initially? I

53:08

can only turn back time well, because I feel like I'm

53:11

just kidding. I

53:15

feel like to the what Korean from

53:17

what you've told me is the thing that made you go, no,

53:20

yeah, I'm not sucking you anymore, ex fact that he tried

53:23

to suck me it is. I have a I

53:25

have a very

53:28

I have a very very strong

53:31

feeling even though he sucked your friend, your

53:33

your other friend. Yeah, but she's that's fine,

53:36

that's fine. And because I have a very you

53:38

know, you know my theory. It drives

53:40

me crazy when people hit on both you and

53:42

me because I'm so different. I hate it

53:44

because you're jealous. No no, no, no, because

53:47

because you're jealous, no no, your

53:49

girls like that with any other girl. That makes no sense. No,

53:52

let me explain on my own podcast.

53:54

So welcome to the girls.

53:57

Very strong feeling

54:00

that if people hit on both of us, that they just

54:02

generally like pussy, and that annoys

54:04

me because I don't care that

54:06

you obviously you want to funk other girls, but it

54:08

drives me crazy if you just don't. You just want

54:11

to suck anybody. So in the other were all

54:13

more similar some discretion.

54:16

You don't respect your friend Christina, She's beautiful. What

54:19

you're missing the point entirely. But like

54:21

Mark Norman, for example, never hits on

54:23

me. I love him. He all hits on you aggressively

54:25

all the time. Never hits on me. Wonderful

54:28

kudos to Mark Norman. But if I had

54:30

a guy, if I was trying to suck a guy and

54:32

he hit on you, I mean I get that because I'd be like, oh,

54:34

that's your more like we're very

54:36

c I think it's more basic

54:38

than what you're letting your

54:41

best friend one of my but it is not. My

54:43

best friends are close friends, close friends.

54:46

This is your best friends. You know, this is

54:48

fun. We discussed a time. Don't

54:50

worry about it. I'm gonna get out of here. I

54:53

don't know where I was going with that. This

54:56

is a theory that I Cary and I when I've explained it to

54:58

our producer John, But that guys can't like

55:01

more than one type of girl. No, they can't just

55:03

annoys me because I think we're too I wouldn't

55:06

hit I are to pullar up. I would not hit

55:08

on a guy and his best friend. I wouldn't

55:10

do it. I haven't have. I wouldn't I

55:12

wasn't meaning to. But you're both charming women

55:14

in your own way. No, and you like Christina better. That's fine.

55:18

I like. I like for

55:20

people to like I want to fuck you

55:23

for a reason other than

55:27

there's nothing that's more

55:29

of a turn off than when a guy is not

55:31

When you feel like a guy is in't selective exactly,

55:34

and I get that, but I feel like, I mean with you and I specifically,

55:36

I don't think it's that a guy's in selective. They're both

55:39

attractive for two completely different reasons. It's like, am I

55:41

in the move for this? Am I in the move for that? Our personalities

55:43

are so different. I just can't see,

55:45

really, honestly, on the very

55:47

basic level, being really super

55:49

attractive, but we're very we're too different. Yeah,

55:52

but I think I fucked so many

55:54

different types of guys I fucked do she

55:56

guido type because I have more of a type.

55:58

I tend to do the same kind of guy.

56:01

I have like two types of guys that I like. I like

56:03

people who are like have Peter Pan syndrome. I

56:05

like people who are really really really small

56:07

pants syndrome. They never want to grow exactly.

56:09

That's that's I have Peter and

56:12

I like fat guys with beards.

56:15

That's basically. Oh, and I love like GOTHI or like

56:17

tattooed or like uh like kind

56:19

of harder edge that that guy

56:21

is totally different from a fact guy with a beard, you

56:23

know. I mean those are a small group

56:25

of things, Like You're never gonna like I'm there's just a lot

56:28

of the types of people that I'm never gonna fuck. So,

56:30

Danny, do you are you attracted to

56:32

multiple types of women or is there could

56:34

you genuinely say you're equally attractive to

56:36

two totally different types of women. I just

56:39

attractive women. It's like, what's that scene

56:41

from uh Kingpin

56:43

or something? They're in the basement play or

56:46

someone is moving and there some girls

56:48

really hot and she's like, somebody's like, is that your

56:50

type? And the girl hears the she's like, honeym everybody's

56:52

type because she's smoking hot. Like I just

56:54

like hot girl. Well that's someone who defies

56:56

all odds. It's like Megan Fox or something. But

57:00

there's a lot of hot girls out there too, there is,

57:02

and it's so unfair because there's way less hot I

57:04

know. I think that's why we're talking about

57:07

in the intro earlier. How like, you know, every

57:09

guy did always assume like he's jerking off to like the

57:11

most beautiful wind on the internet when I'm not around, like you

57:13

know, whenever he wants to masturbate and women. It's like,

57:15

I there's no porn for us, really, so

57:17

I just have to also jerk off to the most beautiful women.

57:20

And I kind of like I feel like there's a power a little bit

57:22

of a power struggle there. So you know you need how

57:24

do guys to get into porn? Huh? Yeah?

57:26

Yeah please? Peter North isn't doing it

57:28

for you know, James, you know, no, none of them, none

57:30

of them, Yeah, they're really there were that there's a big

57:33

male porn stars are like, yeah,

57:34

they're not as they're not as hot, and they never

57:36

focus on them, and like, yeah, you don't want to see

57:39

just balls going clap clap, clap, But

57:41

you know, show me your cock for a

57:43

second, please, God, just a second.

57:45

Stop sticking it up her puffy and show out to me.

57:48

Wow. It's a fair point, right,

57:51

there's a little bit of a balance in there. It's

57:53

not very heated. Agree need hot movie stars

57:55

that start doing porn? I guess

57:57

I don't think they will do. That's going to happen. But great

58:00

idea of porn. You're fucked because

58:02

that's literally a but

58:06

what you do porn, No one's ever gonna like if you met a porn

58:08

star, you would never even if she hung

58:10

out with you casually or like within your group of

58:12

friends, and she was in the group a little bit, you

58:15

wouldn't ever stop thinking about the fact that she's

58:17

a porn star, would you, Right,

58:19

exactly, So it's like that's her, that's

58:23

your no,

58:28

no, no, not against it. I just haven't

58:31

been one that I really liked. Have you met a

58:33

lot of porn stars? I have not.

58:35

I don't think I've ever really met one. We

58:37

talked to one on a podcast, one time,

58:40

one time? Yeah, what kind

58:42

of what's the weirdest? On his podcast? What's the weirdest

58:44

porn You've ever watched? Danny? Um,

58:46

Oh my god, I don't watching a weird

58:48

ship. But I feel like maybe it's not as weird as I

58:50

thought. Maybe, like if it's weird, usually

58:52

turn it off. It's kind of grass, like like a

58:54

midget or something. Maybe that's I don't know. I'm

58:57

probably pretty tame at my point where you're like, yeah, I

58:59

guess I'll no, no, no, no, I

59:01

think is just never gonna come out again. Yeah,

59:04

yeah, are you doing Karin? Oh,

59:07

I'm just referring referring to my notes. Okay,

59:10

it's like Karin's taking this moment to text. No,

59:13

I never do thet Are you sucking people? Now?

59:16

Um? Yes? Have you ever have

59:18

more than one girl that you've Yeah?

59:20

Sometimes not often though. I got through like dry

59:22

spells, you know, but I got in Tinder. I met this girl from

59:24

Brazil's in town for a couple of weeks, so a

59:28

lot for people's sexual organs.

59:30

I feel like it's very convenient, Am

59:33

I right in assuming because I've never I was in a relationship

59:35

with before Tinder came out, So I don't know,

59:38

and my right to assume that Tinder is basically just

59:40

so want to fuck. I mean, I think that's the

59:42

general assumption. But it's like anything in life.

59:44

It's like the shark test, you know, like whatever you

59:46

think it is, it could be like it's just people. It's

59:49

a tool for people to meet each other, Like every

59:51

person is around judgments and limits.

59:53

Right, that's gotta be so nice because it's like cut

59:55

the ship. If I'm at a bar and I'm trying to meet people,

59:57

I gotta fucking filter through fort people

1:00:00

to just know what's your d you see why you

1:00:02

here? You know, and you just with dating

1:00:04

apps and stuff, but especially things like Tinder,

1:00:06

it's like cut to the chase. Yeah, so

1:00:09

you scratch all the bullshit. It's great. But girls always

1:00:11

put up their best pictures and I'm kind of an asshole about like thin

1:00:13

girls, and so they look really cute

1:00:15

and then you need him. You're like, I think a little belly, All right, Well, so

1:00:18

what kind of physically what's your type? Like

1:00:20

thin and voluptuous thin,

1:00:22

and so no one

1:00:25

no one tits

1:00:29

voluptuous, curl around curvy,

1:00:31

but like you mean skinny with big tits.

1:00:33

Okay, got it? So am I just like, yeah,

1:00:37

basically, but Christina is not curvy.

1:00:39

Yeah, that's true. You should listen to weight Oh

1:00:42

everyone at this time that Danny Palmer told

1:00:44

me to fucking lose just kidding, everybody lose

1:00:47

weight at my open mic that I used

1:00:49

to host, and yeah, shp,

1:00:55

it just doesn't bother me. It doesn't care.

1:00:57

That's why I said it. Yeah, weird, so weird.

1:01:00

I really think that you should be able to take addition and take it

1:01:02

absolutely. There's nothing worse than a community gets

1:01:04

fucking offended by certain ships. Are

1:01:06

you even here? No, that's what's like, you could

1:01:08

say anything. It's because you're

1:01:10

comic, but it's also because you're Danny, and I don't

1:01:13

really ever get offended. Thanks. I people

1:01:16

say, I'm like a nice asshole. Yeah, that's it's

1:01:18

kind of nice. I mean, there's enough to make fun of with you, Danny

1:01:20

Wed. We need not feel bad about ourselves exactly.

1:01:23

There's plenty to like shot on me back, But

1:01:26

I like that. I like being able to have that back and

1:01:28

forth with somebody of like, let's just figure out like the

1:01:30

meanest thing we could say about each other and say it and

1:01:33

laugh about it. Yeah, it's the highest level

1:01:35

of funny. But also it's like so uncomfortably

1:01:38

good to my best friends

1:01:40

because if you're if you're not saying

1:01:42

the meat thing, you're just fucking thinking the mean

1:01:45

thing, and then it's like building up inside

1:01:47

you. So if it's just out there, then everyone can go

1:01:49

home and go to sleep and laugh about it. It's not a big

1:01:51

fucking deal. It's not that big of a deal.

1:01:54

What's like the meanest what's the meanest thing you've

1:01:56

ever said to anybody? Danny, I'm so curious.

1:01:58

I love you. I think Well, when

1:02:02

I was like in sixth grade, my friend this guy

1:02:04

turned me in for cheating on a paper and he's black, And now

1:02:06

my friends told me to call him the end more than I did. That's why

1:02:08

the worst thing I've ever done. But I was

1:02:10

a little kid. You

1:02:12

see, like you're still haunted by that.

1:02:15

I'm haunted. I wish I could find memory

1:02:18

immediately. Comedian

1:02:21

probably one moment, do you want to apologize? His

1:02:23

name is Lorenzo, Lorenzo and St Peter's what

1:02:26

was he? He was Italian? Black

1:02:29

or is he just Sicilian? And he got confused. That's

1:02:32

not even funny. That's

1:02:35

what I meant. I don't

1:02:37

know. I

1:02:40

was just falling to peer pressure. I'm not right, that's

1:02:43

fine. Yeah, I've seen a lot of black people

1:02:45

in your apartment. Yeah, that means I'm

1:02:47

not racist. So it's fine. I

1:02:49

just put away the china and everything's fine. What's

1:02:55

like the what's the thing you've ever said when we were

1:02:57

all, Oh, I

1:02:59

don't Oh man, yes you do. You're thinking of it

1:03:01

right now. No, I'm not well. I think what I said

1:03:04

to you Buckers was pretty means that it's

1:03:06

pretty pretty. I

1:03:08

didn't even remember it, so obviously it didn't really be

1:03:11

blocked. It bother me. Number

1:03:15

one wouldn't be the first time someone said that. How

1:03:17

he said that too? Yeah, our guests see

1:03:20

this is all because it tits. You know, if people

1:03:22

didn't have tits, the world would be a little

1:03:24

calmer. It's not just your tatty right, pretty overall?

1:03:27

Thank you. Don't

1:03:29

make it retard. That's

1:03:31

that's my natural reaction. That my natural reaction

1:03:33

to anybody hitting the way that I'm coming just ruined.

1:03:36

I'm making a retarded I'm

1:03:41

not pretty sick. You

1:03:43

know. It's weird. Heart in their faces, so weird

1:03:45

reaction. Yeah, that's how I handled this

1:03:48

comfort. Yeah, well it is. That's why

1:03:50

I go to gay clubs. It's very uncomfortable getting hit

1:03:52

on. Oh I love gay clubs. Have you ever been

1:03:54

to a gay club? Danny? You really? Yeah? Five

1:03:56

gay friends. It's fun. It's I mean, it's kind

1:03:58

of fun. Well, first tray guy, though, I feel

1:04:00

like you get you get hit on the kind of how

1:04:02

we feel my ear. Yeah, yeah,

1:04:05

so that's happens to it you're

1:04:07

looking. Is that the worst thing that happened. Yeah, No one

1:04:09

grabbed your dick. Wow, good for you. Well,

1:04:13

I mean the gay community is a little more judgmental. So

1:04:15

you know, sing

1:04:19

about my deck is that you're saying? No, just about

1:04:21

your overall presence. I

1:04:23

love you. You're the only

1:04:25

the only other guy that's ever been sub conscious about is

1:04:28

you're self conscious about your age a little bit?

1:04:30

Yeah? That was just because all the comments are in their twenties. Like

1:04:32

you guys every how was your number one with

1:04:34

me? That was your number one? I feel

1:04:36

weren't you old dudes and you were

1:04:38

in your twenties. I would have never had

1:04:41

sex with you if you told me right, now you were

1:04:43

twenty five, I'd like, yeah, but I told

1:04:45

you you're in mid to late thirties. I'd be like, yum, do

1:04:49

you want to go out up

1:04:55

the best? When I met Steven, though, he lied about

1:04:57

his age he was he was he

1:04:59

was third you think you When I met him, he told me it was twenty

1:05:01

nine, and I was like, obviously believe because

1:05:03

no one's ever lied about the age to me, especially

1:05:05

a guy. And then I found

1:05:07

out he was thirty. I'm like, what the fund is that about that? He

1:05:10

was explaining to me the music industry like younger people

1:05:12

better, blah blah blah. But I'm like, I like older people,

1:05:14

like you could have scored quicker if you told

1:05:16

me you were older. Honestly, Yeah, I

1:05:20

shouldn't lie about their age. Two

1:05:22

women? How much older? Uh?

1:05:24

He so probably six or seven

1:05:27

years older? Probably like six.

1:05:29

There's a math mathematic planswer. Yeah,

1:05:31

it's like six or seven. It's either some but

1:05:34

our birthdays fall that sometimes it's six sometimes,

1:05:36

and I mean it's always the same exact amount of time

1:05:38

and just how old. That's

1:05:41

a good point. Oh

1:05:43

man, guys, I love you all right. Well, this has

1:05:45

been a lot of fun. You don't ask me something

1:05:47

else bad, we're gonna talk about filthy stuff. Well,

1:05:50

we were, but we got a little distracted. I was

1:05:52

because I was saying, I feel like you're a kinky dude, but then

1:05:54

you kind of yeah, what's

1:05:56

a kinky? Where done? I'm kinky?

1:06:00

I like to like the rhino at the end of the Jumanji

1:06:02

parade, You're like, we know glad

1:06:05

someone I don't really I

1:06:08

didn't get that, so we

1:06:10

laughed. Yeah, whatever you say, it is great. That

1:06:12

top off, I hate that. I hate that. If

1:06:15

you're trying to pick up a woman, don't just tell her everything.

1:06:17

She doesn't challenge challenge

1:06:20

her. I challenge you all the time. You didn't know the reference.

1:06:23

I got that. I understood what it meant that the

1:06:25

rhino was behind everybody. I got it, all right? Fine.

1:06:28

Any closing statements, Karen closing

1:06:30

statement, to talk

1:06:32

last, what's your closing statement? My closing statement?

1:06:35

Um, you guys are both very nice and uh

1:06:38

sorry I said the mean thing about Karn and

1:06:40

uh, I don't apologize for things that you

1:06:42

mean. That's so annoying. Just fucking

1:06:44

be mean and o it. Yeah, but I'm nice, that's

1:06:46

not it's fun to say something you mean,

1:06:48

but then to be but then you feel bad about go back

1:06:51

to your nice self. Nice people can say mean things,

1:06:53

but not but usually they're on should

1:06:56

say mean things. I always always immediately

1:06:58

go sorry, was that okay? That was that? To mean?

1:07:01

Was there a very exactly?

1:07:03

No, I agree with you. You should own your main nous because

1:07:05

it's a unless you just made it up.

1:07:07

But I don't feeling

1:07:10

it's just funny in the moment. But then no, not nine

1:07:12

percent at the time. The mean thing you're saying is a hundred percent

1:07:14

it's true. So if you mean it, just let the

1:07:16

person digest it. Honestly,

1:07:19

don't bother fucking saying it. It's

1:07:22

so that that's like the that's so, then you're being

1:07:24

mean and a pussy. At least just be mean. Yeah,

1:07:26

but why can't you be mean and then like reiterate

1:07:29

that you like the person because you make will

1:07:31

towards them. Yeah,

1:07:33

but I think the ultimate goal is to be nice and maintain a

1:07:35

friendship, not to be like, oh, I'm honest with my meanness.

1:07:38

Fuck you. Well you also, though, if

1:07:40

you're gonna be mean with somebody, you already

1:07:42

assume I assume you have a rapport,

1:07:45

yeah, report which

1:07:49

wire you could say rapport or repartee. Those

1:07:51

are the two words. And I didn't get it right either way.

1:07:54

When you have that rapport with somebody, you don't have to apologize

1:07:56

because they already know that you're not some dick

1:07:59

who they never want to see again. They know that you mean

1:08:01

it in a funny way, and they appreciate the humor

1:08:03

about it, so you don't have to go retract it. That's

1:08:05

true. Well, I don't know, but I still but why

1:08:07

not play it's safe? Why not just make sure that they know you're

1:08:09

kidding. I expect a certain

1:08:11

level from everybody, and listen to

1:08:14

the level that I expect from Danny is not that high.

1:08:16

So everything's fine, nice alright, in

1:08:18

a good place. Everything is fine. I was

1:08:21

never mad at Danny, like

1:08:23

like miffed. Maybe is the strongest

1:08:26

I go, just like a little bit. Yeah,

1:08:29

well yeah, you know, my vocabulary

1:08:32

is just yeah, let's work on that. It's

1:08:34

not very wide whatever. Not

1:08:37

like Karns pussy. That was Danny Potter. I'm

1:08:41

not good. Um no,

1:08:44

he's really good. Uh No,

1:08:47

I mean I don't know what a closing seam is. I

1:08:49

don't regret. I like fun buddy, that I had a good

1:08:51

summer last summer. I

1:08:53

never will fuck Danny Palmer again, but it was a good

1:08:55

wall lasted. You'll

1:08:57

try to hook out for me a week and af ago, but I'm glad that I

1:09:01

see. I knew. I knew he thought that that I

1:09:03

did that. But I was drunk and I was buying him drinks

1:09:06

and being silly with him, and then he invited to

1:09:08

meet up with him, and I was like, just because I'm being

1:09:10

silly and flirty and buying you a drink doesn't

1:09:12

mean and I want to fuck. You know, at the end of that show,

1:09:15

you said let's go home and have like

1:09:17

crazy sex. Yeah, I was joking. I

1:09:21

really was. I would not have wasn't an obvious

1:09:23

joke though I was so

1:09:26

drunken. I was joking. And then he invited me to stand and I was

1:09:28

like, no, thank you, No,

1:09:30

you invited me tom to have sex and I was like then

1:09:34

then I was black out drunk, and I do not remember which

1:09:36

I was because I went to talk about later that night because

1:09:39

it was my choice

1:09:41

was meet up with Danny. Were going to Taco ball, and I went

1:09:43

to taco You're gonna shot on me after I rejected

1:09:45

you for sex. I'm not you. I

1:09:47

have the text where you said meet up with me at the stand.

1:09:50

Obviously, if I wanted to have sex with you, I could have had sex

1:09:52

with That's not true because you said let's go home and have

1:09:54

sex. Then I just left said

1:09:57

duty. And I'm like, I, honestly is

1:10:03

I was the one who was nicer to you, to you about

1:10:05

this whole sex thing, and you're the one sitting

1:10:07

here hitting on Christine in front of me. I don't even

1:10:10

care about that. But really, I remember this night.

1:10:12

I was drinking heavily, and I'm

1:10:14

sure I said some crazy stuff to Danny,

1:10:16

but I really didn't have sex, because I have the text. I

1:10:19

was like, I didn't if you want to do you I definitely contemplating.

1:10:22

I was like should I do this? And I was like remembered. I was like, Nope,

1:10:24

no sex with Danny anymore. M Okay,

1:10:27

But you've said I'm

1:10:29

sure I said crazy stuff, but I really, I really,

1:10:32

honest to god, not remember this. But there's a lot of stuff

1:10:34

I don't remember. I also meet out with my gay friend a couple weeks.

1:10:36

Don't remember that. Oh

1:10:39

No, no, no, you weren't there. Okay, different

1:10:41

time you weren't there. Uh.

1:10:43

This has been another rousing episode of Guys

1:10:45

with and I'd like to like everybody

1:10:48

involved. Some awkward pauses,

1:10:50

there are some weird notions and vibes,

1:10:52

but you know, we all go through it together. So

1:10:55

thank you. Danny. Where can people find you on

1:10:57

the internet? What's your Twitter handle? It's Danny Palmer

1:10:59

and y see, and I have a website,

1:11:02

Danny Palmer Comedy dot com, Danny Palmercary

1:11:04

dot com. Now say okay, let's

1:11:06

let's all go and say hi to Danny and

1:11:09

uh yeah, thanks guys. Thanks,

1:11:11

you guys are great. Bye. Ribbing

1:11:23

up my eyes, I'm

1:11:25

exposed and it's fixed.

1:11:28

Surprise think

1:11:31

said with us