0:00

Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys

0:03

We Guys book. I'm

0:05

Christina, I'm Karren. We're sorry about

0:08

last night anti sluck shaming

0:10

podcast. I never stopped.

0:16

Hello, fucker's Welcome to another

0:18

episode of Guys We Fucked.

0:20

It's the anti slut shaming podcast. I'm conm

0:23

Christina. Welcome. Today's news

0:25

story is from mal magazine.

0:27

Haven't heard of it. Neither have we, but our

0:29

wonderful associate producer

0:32

Emily found it, so I trust

0:34

it. Uh. This article

0:36

is called the Science behind the Thirst for

0:39

Delves. It's a Q and A with the

0:41

researcher who conducted the first empirical

0:44

study of the dad I'd like to fuck,

0:46

which is amazing. Can you imagine getting funding for that?

0:49

Yeah, I'm gonna do us a thing on dolves.

0:51

I would fund that study. Delves

0:53

are in as E. J. Dixon described

0:55

for Mel last fall. One look at Instagram's

0:58

vast universe of parenting content

1:00

suggests many people find baby

1:02

wearing dad's sexy as hell. That's

1:05

one way to put it. Father's strapping

1:07

on their kids drive massive engagement

1:09

on popular accounts like Delfs of

1:11

Disneyland and

1:14

and Daddy Doing Work daddy

1:16

doing work in

1:19

fact, such DILF related fervor has inspired

1:22

Corty Corey Peterson, the founder

1:24

of O r G A

1:26

s M I See What You did there, Observations

1:29

and Research in Gender and Sexuality

1:32

Matters Research Lab at

1:34

Quantulin Polytechnic University

1:36

in Canada, to embark upon the first empirical

1:38

study of the attractiveness of

1:41

delf's or dad's. I'd Like to Fuck entitled

1:43

Naturally in Search of the Appeal

1:46

of the dilf, a collaboration between Peterson

1:48

and other researchers at the Orgasm

1:51

Lab. Oh my god, it's my favorite lab

1:53

ever. Culturally, of course, MILFs

1:55

are already a fact of life, at least since

1:57

Stiffler's mom appeared in the first American

1:59

Pie movie twenty years ago, not to mention

2:01

a major search term on porn Hub

2:04

and the various other tube sites. But as

2:06

Peterson explains, what's interesting about

2:08

the difference between MILFs and delves is that

2:10

the milf is considered attractive in

2:12

spite of her kids, while the dilf

2:15

is considered attractive because of

2:17

his kids. UH. To better understand

2:19

this dichotomy as well as the other

2:21

delf science, Peterson uncovered

2:24

in her study. Uh oh, qureis

2:26

a girl. Okay, I recently spoke to her by

2:28

phone, so I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but I'll read this

2:30

first one because it's interesting. Um. Why

2:32

was a study of dilf's necessary, She

2:35

says, we couldn't find any sort of solid empirical

2:37

investigations of them, despite the fact that

2:39

porn hubs twenty seventeen Yearine Review

2:41

Insights indicated that dilf

2:43

is becoming a more popular search term,

2:45

So we knew it was a phenomena of interest.

2:48

We just didn't know what underlies it. A

2:50

milf is presumably attractive because of her

2:52

confidence. The fact that she has children and that

2:54

she's older makes her appear more confident

2:57

and sexually experienced. We wanted to

2:59

investigate what there are not the same factors that

3:01

seem to attract individuals to the mill for attractive

3:03

in the deal, I can't believe this is real article.

3:06

I can't believe people put money towards this, and I

3:08

love the world for it. We were very much

3:10

operating on the assumption that previous evolutionary

3:13

psychology literature indicated that women

3:15

tend to be attracted to older men. This

3:17

has been found globally. Women tend to be attracted

3:20

to older men and men to be attracted to younger

3:22

women. Evolutionary psychologists

3:24

have argued that this discrepancy is explained

3:27

by our ancestral evolutionary tendencies.

3:30

Basically, an older man signifies more

3:32

status, and it's that status

3:34

that creates this sort of dominance, which

3:36

is attractive because in an evolutionary

3:38

sense, it represents his ability to care for

3:40

his partner and any potential offspring,

3:43

whereas for men, their attraction to younger

3:45

women represents, in an evolutionary

3:47

sense, her potential of offspring.

3:50

I know, I was like, where are we going here? Um?

3:52

Yes, So if you want to read the rest of this article again, its Mail

3:54

magazine dot com and the article is called this Science

3:57

behind the Thirst for Delves.

3:59

It's my turn me Finster from about

4:02

Ernie Finster a couple of weeks ago. I

4:04

don't think that's Finster, dude

4:06

Delves. I am a sucker

4:09

for a delf. Although I do

4:11

not get attracted to a man

4:13

when I I've seen men with

4:15

babies interacting and I'm like, oh, that's hot,

4:18

but then immediately I'm like, that's not my baby.

4:21

That's some other lady's baby. Stop

4:23

drooling over this guy, Christina, It's waste your time.

4:26

What I'm saying. I like someone who looks like a Dolf

4:28

but doesn't actually have any kids. Yeah.

4:30

See that's my dream. Yeah, yeah, that's my dream.

4:33

I mean that's so easy to achieve. It's like childless dilf.

4:35

Yeah, you look at a little tired worn now. Yeah,

4:38

I know, have an exercise. Used to be hot,

4:41

I mean real grey b

4:43

Hey, I'm loving it. Did you used to have abs

4:45

and they went away? Call Christine and Karin

4:49

the delf Factory. Um, that's what I'm

4:51

gonna call my apartment now the factor,

4:53

because you have to really project and put what you want

4:55

out there into the world to try to start

4:57

doing. I know, my therapist said, pull that bet away on

5:00

the from the corner. Girl, put

5:02

some peacocks in there. Invites some men come

5:05

see us live. You guys, we have a

5:07

fun new touring show that uh

5:10

it's so fun it doesn't even have a name. We're

5:12

very excited. Indianapolis, Indiana.

5:14

We're gonna be at chad Helium Comedy Club

5:16

April eighteen to Boston,

5:19

Massachusetts. Were very excited to

5:21

be playing the Wilbert Theater again. We sold

5:23

that the funk out and that was the first ever venue that

5:26

I invited my parents too, because I said, if

5:28

we sell out theater, mom

5:30

and Dan, mom and dad can't get pissed about

5:32

what I say. And I was right. Uh, Friday,

5:34

May three, We're gonna be at the Wilburn, Boston, Massachusetts

5:38

for the Women in Comedy Festival. We are so excited

5:40

for this. This is a huge theater. Buy

5:42

your tickets now because it will

5:44

sell out, but we'd rather sell out sooner

5:47

because that makes me happy. Yeah, go

5:51

back to Boston to like the faster ticket

5:53

sell for these shows. Everyone's like, oh, I'm

5:55

observing that, you know. I mean, if they sell out

5:58

last minute, that's also wonderful. But you know, Um

6:00

for all links, uh and

6:02

you know, just other things about us, go to storry

6:05

about Last Night Comedy dot com

6:07

slash tours for the links and click

6:10

on whatever you want, uh, if you want

6:12

to browse around, they have all of our dates and some

6:14

stuff, some press. We have great press. And

6:16

then you can also follow us individually on social

6:18

media. I'm at Philanthropy Gal. I'm met

6:21

Christina Hutch and our duo is sorry

6:23

about last night except on Twitter, it's s r

6:25

y about last n y T and make

6:27

sure to leave us a raining our

6:29

review. Any of this stuff on iTunes

6:32

is great. It's a nice uh freeway

6:35

to support the podcast. Um,

6:37

and a lot of people have been asking about

6:40

you know, Google Play and other platforms. Again,

6:42

that's something we're working on. We moved from SoundCloud

6:45

to megaphone, so uh,

6:47

we're not sure why it's not feeding into us,

6:49

but it's not. It's not like we just stopped putting it up.

6:51

We only put it on one platform and then

6:53

the other ones pick it up. So we're

6:55

trying to figure out why pick

6:58

up. But you know, you can also listen on iTunes in Spotify,

7:00

we didn't. Yeah, we're not hating on anyone any specific

7:03

way to listen to the podcast. And everyone's so quick

7:05

to be like, which you probly go play?

7:09

I have no problem. I know me

7:12

neither. I mean I wouldn't date someone had an

7:14

Android, but that's I wouldn't either, or

7:17

an all email address. I

7:19

have one, but the family mail. Now

7:22

that's fine, family mail. I'm

7:25

good. Um, I just we've

7:27

been traveling a lot, uh, well, we're tratling

7:29

a lot this month specifically, and so

7:32

I've been on and off planes, um,

7:34

and there was no speaking of Dolphs. There

7:36

was an older guy next to me and

7:38

I just noticed. And I think part of

7:40

it is AM because I don't want I hate

7:42

always like blaming everything on men's I think I think

7:44

there's you know, reasons on both sides.

7:47

But just like people's manners have gotten worse

7:49

as far as like hold holding doors, were

7:52

picking up luggage for people or helping people,

7:55

and um, the other day,

7:57

I was in the subway and I saw girl

8:00

struggling with her suitcases, like she had to

8:03

like full sized suitcases that she was trying to get up

8:05

the subway stairs. That's hard. As someone who

8:07

is carrying around suitcases a lot. I'm strong,

8:09

and I fucking still struggle all the time because there

8:11

it's heavy. It's cumbersome. As a woman,

8:13

you're just like for me, like my hike gets

8:15

in the way a lot, Like can I can barely lift

8:18

things above my because it's

8:20

when something's really heavy and you have to get it into

8:22

the overhead compartment and your five ft

8:24

three that's really difficult no matter

8:26

how strong you are. Because you know, even when you're

8:28

doing like a like a dead lift, you're not going above

8:31

your fucking heads. Um.

8:34

So yeah, and so

8:36

I just no one was helping her. It was a very crowded

8:38

subway. There was tons of men, women, young people around.

8:40

No one was helping her. So I just literally was like grabbed

8:43

it and brought it up to the top of the staircase for her,

8:45

and she was so appreciative. So just like

8:47

a reminder that women can help

8:49

women carry stuff to you know, like, oh, I help

8:51

women all of the strollers.

8:53

Yeah, well, and that's what I

8:55

was s someone a trip and fall on coll the

8:57

baby. But whatever. That that's because that's what because

9:00

in New York City a couple weeks ago, there

9:02

was a woman named Alisia Goodson and

9:05

she exactly so I forgot

9:07

about that. It's so funny meaning funny peculiar

9:10

because I had helped to this

9:12

squirrel and I was thinking in my head,

9:14

like Jesus Christ, like I'm five foot three

9:16

and I'm helping her, and like there's a lot of other

9:19

people available to help, and hey, men,

9:21

just to clear something up for all the men out

9:23

there, okay, because I've been hearing this a lot feminism.

9:26

Are we if if

9:28

we are carrying something heavy, you can

9:30

help us? Just don't even you can help

9:32

us. You don't have to wonder if we're gonna be like I'm

9:35

strong enough on my own. You're physically stronger

9:37

than us. What are you gonna do? It's mother nature.

9:40

I can't help it. We need help carry

9:42

something for more or just say like, hey, would you like

9:44

a hand? And like the person can decide for the moment. And

9:46

also like if someone gets catty

9:48

with you for helping them, that's their and

9:51

they gotta not Yeah, they gotta se either. Maybe

9:53

they have a stick up their ask, Maybe they were assaulted

9:55

by a man and they just don't want to interact with a stranger

9:57

who's also a man, you know what I mean? Like that could be any

10:00

things, So don't take that personally. But I'm

10:02

telling you right now, majority of the majority

10:04

of us, when we're carrying heavy ship fucking help

10:06

us. Well, yeah, because it's okay. So there's a woman named Malaysia

10:09

Goods and basically she was trying to

10:11

carry her stroll. I can't remember what's

10:13

up or down. The stairs ended up and

10:16

she and she died.

10:18

Well, I thought she died from like hitting her head. Yeah,

10:21

yeah, it was. It was the staircase. He wouldn't

10:23

fall onto the tracks, like she just fell in, like, you know, because

10:25

if you hit your head, the body is so interesting.

10:27

I mean, people can survive, you know,

10:29

shark attacks, but then you bump your head one way

10:31

the wrong way, and you're and you're dad. And

10:34

this was a woman in her early twenties. The

10:36

baby survived, she passed away

10:38

unfortunately, and uh,

10:40

you know, and then some people were like, well, it says very

10:42

clearly in the subway rules that you're not supposed to carry

10:46

a stroller up and down the stairs. I'm like, it says every

10:48

single person because

10:50

mother's not every mother can afford to

10:52

take a fucking cab. Also, that's

10:55

a lot of I mean, it's it's difficult and a lot

10:57

of work to take a stroller anywhere. Well, I mean they're

10:59

saying, like, was the elevator, but not all

11:01

of the ones have elators. Not all the subways

11:03

have elevators, and sometimes it's a real lot of distance.

11:05

Don't Actually yeah,

11:08

yeah, they're really not you know, handicap

11:11

or stroller friendly, like a lot of these

11:13

subway Uh is weird. Considering

11:15

New York is such an accessible city. The subway

11:18

system, Yeah, it's like you have to take the bus, and everyone, everyone

11:20

who lives in New York knows the bus is way slower.

11:22

So just a reminder, like for women is a good

11:24

way. You know. I'm always you know, encouraging a

11:27

nice way for a woman to help another woman

11:29

that doesn't have to involve anything. It's not competitive,

11:32

it's not esthetic. It's a real easy way,

11:34

just it's a help. And then additionally,

11:36

I was on a plane and this older

11:38

guy like like not like older than

11:40

me, like he could have been he could have been

11:43

my dad maybe, um, and

11:45

he kind of just yeah, he just like kind of took

11:47

my suitcase for me, put it up when the flight

11:49

started, and then without even asking, when

11:51

it landed, took it down and left it and he

11:54

popped the handle for me like he was a fucking best

11:57

uber driver in the world. And I was just like it

11:59

was just so nice because I

12:02

don't usually I mean, sometimes i'll just like ask

12:04

people. I'm like, I'll like the way there's like

12:06

if you're in trouble, I'll be like, hey, green

12:08

shirt, can you help me? Because you have to point out someone

12:10

specific a lot of times. Otherwise no one's gonna help

12:13

you. And people

12:15

all the time, you know, as long as I'm

12:17

physically people of doing it, happy to

12:19

help, and that stuff is like I just don't

12:21

understand why,

12:23

yeah, why you can't help someone with a suitcase.

12:26

Yeah, I've noticed a lot on planes, well

12:29

I would say maybe three out of ten

12:31

flights that I take, a guy will

12:33

do exactly what he did with you, like they'll he'll you

12:35

won't even ask, and then I'll take it down and it's like, oh

12:38

my god, that's really nice of you. Thank you, ye, because

12:40

yeah, I want always want to shout out like good deeds and on the

12:42

subway when people people offer me a seat,

12:45

not even when they think I'm pregnant, when they just think I'm a regular

12:47

girl, and like, you know what, I'll take it. I'm

12:49

tired. I never accept the seed, but because

12:51

I don't think, I always give up my sea when somebody

12:53

older than me. One time there was two old ladies

12:55

that came on and they were both standing in front of me

12:58

staring at me, and they were elderly

13:00

as fuck. I'm talking like leather

13:03

skin like they still smoke

13:05

a pack a day, badass bitches. But

13:08

I was like, I don't know which one of you to give it to. Yeah.

13:13

I was like, I was just standing up and let him fight it out for themselves.

13:15

I was getting off at the next stop, and I was like, they'll

13:18

figure it out. Also when I stood up, I couldn't anywhere,

13:20

but whatever. Uh,

13:25

we're in North Carolina. He's licking my

13:27

shoes because it's really right. Yeah,

13:29

get over here. We're in North Carolina.

13:32

Um, chill in UM.

13:34

And I've been doing a lot of self help ship

13:37

lately. You guys. Um, we're recording

13:39

this. We're recording this in early February. We have to record

13:41

it early because Karn and I are both separately gonna be in Los Angeles,

13:44

um, and not in the same space. So um.

13:47

So this intro, I'm saying it on February

13:49

nine, but it's coming out March one. But we

13:53

Karn and I did We did podcast. We did two

13:55

people's podcast. We did Sne Alexander's

13:57

podcast, which is called press End right, press

13:59

End, Yes, looking incredible. I love Shane alex

14:02

an incredible podcast. How she is

14:04

that it was It's really good podcast. She had

14:06

like only a couple episodes and we're like, Wow,

14:09

you are professional, polished,

14:11

professional, well dressed,

14:13

which is unnecessary but a bonus because

14:16

I gotta look at you. And it was I

14:19

know, I was like, oh, man, Chanette, you are she

14:21

out does herself all the time, every single time, and

14:23

it's it seems effortless. I know it does take a lot of effort,

14:26

but it seems effortless. And we did Girls Gotta

14:28

Eat podcasts that we did this in the same day,

14:30

and we're talking a lot about I've just been reflecting

14:32

lately because I've been going to these adult child

14:34

meetings. We've since branched

14:37

off and done smaller meetings.

14:39

We go to justin Silver's house and we you know,

14:41

you can't talk about what you say, but like it's it's really helpful.

14:44

It's really helpful, um,

14:46

kind of just making sure you hold each other accountable

14:49

for stuff. I guess I've told it similar to A A

14:51

cool A sounds dope. If I was an alcoholic,

14:54

I definitely go there because this is a very helpful program.

14:57

Um. I like the setup. But I've just been in the

14:59

self help lately, I guess, and

15:01

so I've been having it on the brain a lot it's

15:03

exhausting thinking about. In

15:06

therapy lately, I've been talking about men

15:09

because and and a lot of the things I have

15:11

to say I can't say on this podcast

15:14

because of the circumstances. Maybe

15:17

one day, I think one day I will talk about

15:19

it. Um, but I

15:22

have there's just unique circumstances

15:25

and and for both

15:27

of those instances, for both of these men, if I were

15:29

to actually talk about the thing that I want to talk about,

15:31

they would have to be present because I'm not going to tell for

15:33

both of them. Interesting, yeah,

15:36

yeah, well maybe one

15:38

of them. No, But I don't know. I just but but

15:41

you know, my life is so together in

15:43

so many ways except

15:46

for men, and it's kind of

15:49

I don't know if it's always been I say it's always been that way,

15:51

but that might be an exaggeration. I

15:53

I mean, I know Stephen obviously were together for

15:55

such a long time. However, and this

15:58

is no fault of his. This is me, This is all

16:00

me. I have

16:02

been neglecting my feelings

16:04

and my needs and my wants in a relationship. I really

16:07

listened to the breakup episode and

16:09

it was so interesting to me that

16:11

I talked about my parents and

16:13

how my dad would teach me to yell at him

16:15

when I was mad at my mother, and I brought that up. And

16:17

these are all things that we're dealing with, UM that

16:20

are kind of being covered in

16:23

these adult child meetings. Is you know what

16:25

qualifies you to be an adult child having

16:28

a dysfunctional family, but also being a people pleaser

16:30

and um not knowing where to go with your feelings

16:33

and all these things that I do. And so I've just I've

16:35

just it's been ruminating with me. And I went to my therapist

16:37

and I and I UM I was asking

16:39

her the last therapy session I had, I asked

16:42

her, um

16:45

I I was on this Mexic

16:47

Mexico retreat, and uh, I

16:50

had the desire I was. There

16:52

was no phones. I mean, we had our phones,

16:54

but there was no internet in electricity, so I really

16:56

wasn't I've deleted my social media apps, and

16:59

it was really nice to just sit

17:01

in my thoughts. That's the only thing you had to do. And

17:04

you know, I would talk to Melissa and stuff that would be distracting

17:06

and nice, but we would talk about our thoughts. So,

17:08

UM, I had this desire to text

17:11

one of the guys that I was seeing

17:13

and I was so disappointed in myself that

17:15

I wanted to after what

17:17

it transpired with this person, I

17:20

knew that

17:22

it was not a good idea.

17:24

And one thing is why I brought up those podcasts

17:27

that we did that one day because on Channe Alexander's

17:29

podcast, you had said that

17:31

I put men on these pedestals. But

17:34

what really fucked me up

17:36

was when you said I protect them because I

17:38

totally protect them. I didn't

17:40

realize that, Oh really, yeah,

17:42

even though it's so obvious, it's so obviously I protect

17:44

them. Yeah, but you know, you just see like

17:47

sometimes like it's very simple. I mean, like all

17:49

the time, like you'll you'll you'll point out

17:51

things, you know, just from spending

17:53

so much time and such a unique circumstances,

17:56

uh together, you'll

17:58

point out stuff about me that I wouldn't

18:00

necessarily know either. Yeah. It was just

18:03

like, wow, I really do protect them,

18:05

and you know, And I brought

18:07

that back to therapy. I told I told

18:09

my therapist that you said that, and I told her,

18:12

like man that, yeah, that's what I do.

18:14

And if we're going to relate it to a parent thing, my

18:16

mom, I protect my mom with

18:19

every like if anybody's ever said anything bad

18:21

about her, I would want to murder

18:23

them. I have said atrocious

18:25

things about my mother because I don't know how to deal with

18:27

my feelings and uh and also because I

18:29

had the feelings, I just didn't push them

18:31

down. Yeah, and I don't never think that you actually anything

18:34

that you've said has been atrocious. I think that you're always

18:36

like I mean, but

18:39

like you're I feel like you're you know, yeah,

18:41

like you know you can you can

18:43

love someone and still expressed that they have

18:45

caused you pain or failed you

18:47

in some ways and they are not at all a failure

18:50

as a power parent, you know, those are

18:52

those are different things, but it doesn't have to But it was bad.

18:56

But in my household, it was always don't

18:58

tell mom, I you really feel it's gonna kill herself. Oh,

19:00

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Did

19:03

your dad say that to you? I said that to my dad

19:05

and when I was I mean, I was my brother and I would

19:07

say that to each other when we were kids. Well that's okay because you guys

19:09

are kids and now and even when we're teenagers.

19:11

Me, I was like, I was just like, that's just like your

19:14

dad didn't say that no, no, no, my dad, I

19:16

said that. But my dad wasn't like hey hey,

19:18

hey, hey hey, because he didn't know what we

19:20

didn't. We don't know what I mean. He protected

19:22

my mother and he and he still does. The

19:25

thing is, it's so strange because my mother

19:27

isn't the way she was in

19:30

her mind is not She's not

19:32

manipulative like she She does

19:34

have these tendencies, but she's not. Um.

19:38

There were so many moments I would say, when

19:40

I was like twenty three and younger, where

19:42

she maybe even twenty five and younger maybe

19:45

now, to where she just really was not nice

19:48

to me. Um, And well

19:50

that's kind of like the mom daughter dynamic. That's kind

19:53

of so fascinating, right, But her mental

19:55

illness was really she was at

19:57

the grips of it when I was up until I was in college,

19:59

I would say. And then after that it really because

20:01

she switched her men's and she was better. But but

20:04

you know, my brother and I would say that, and

20:06

I know my brother's it's so funny my brother,

20:08

all my brother's girlfriends, I would always watch them

20:10

all be so confused by how we treat

20:12

our mom, like so confused

20:15

about how I remember Alana.

20:17

We were at a beat the beach house one year and

20:19

Alana was like, why do you guys protect

20:21

her? And my brother and I are like, you don't understand

20:24

she you know. And we we said like, you don't

20:26

tell mom you really feels she might kill herself, Like that's that's

20:28

the thing that's in the back of our heads. And so that's a fucked

20:31

up way to live. Um.

20:33

And and so I

20:35

was asking my therapist,

20:40

Uh, well, you know, I said, why

20:42

did I I'm really disappointed to myself that I had

20:44

this desire to text this guy,

20:47

um, because I

20:50

just wish I could have you know, I had it in my head that I

20:52

didn't want to do that. And

20:54

she goes, well, my

20:57

we had we were having a really intense session as

20:59

it was, and she said, um,

21:02

my therapy brain is telling me

21:04

to lead you in one direction, but my emotional

21:06

brain is really wants to ask you a question.

21:09

So do you mind if I ask you this question?

21:11

And I said sure, and she goes, do

21:14

you think that texting

21:18

this guy was you checking in

21:20

to make sure your mother is okay?

21:22

And and I,

21:26

Uh, that

21:29

hit a nerve. It

21:31

was the craziest experience

21:34

feeling I've I think I've ever felt in my life

21:36

in this therapy session. When she asked me that question,

21:39

I started crying and I was like maybe.

21:41

And then I kind of moved switched to

21:43

my body language completely and I wanted to move

21:45

on to another topic, and she said, she

21:48

goes, do you mind if we

21:50

keep you there in that space that

21:52

you were just in, um, because

21:55

you felt very present? And I said, I said,

21:57

okay, because I really trust this woman and

22:00

yeah, and I was like, I want to meet her. She's incredible.

22:02

She's retiring and I cried so hard

22:04

when she told me that I would love to have her

22:06

on the podcast after she retires. So it's

22:08

conflict of interest until then, Oh no, of course it

22:10

is, yeah, but afterwards, oh my god,

22:13

um, and she goes, do you mind going back to this

22:16

place? And we talk a lot about when I feel

22:18

things, where do I feel in my body and stuff

22:20

and and breathing. Everybody always says,

22:22

go back to your breath, go back to your breath, but that is

22:24

true because when I get when I when she

22:26

said, is that you checking up on your mother? I stopped

22:29

breathing. I stopped breathing. I hold

22:31

my stomach really tight. I think that's why I have stomach issues

22:33

and um. And she said,

22:37

you know, on cross your legs, sit in the

22:39

chair and go back to that space. And

22:41

I did and I and I was holding

22:43

my breath. She goes, you're holding your breath and I didn't realize

22:45

it. And then she goes, can you breathe in?

22:49

Can you breathe? Like just breathe into this? And

22:51

I did. It felt like it was it felt

22:53

like magic was happening. I

22:56

blacked out even though my eyes were open.

22:59

And and I and

23:01

I and I went into this place

23:05

that I've never been before. And

23:07

I feel like it was like going into like a really dark

23:09

corner of my mind. And

23:12

and she was asking me to envision my family

23:15

and she goes, what do they look like? And I go that I

23:18

feel like I'm the child in an m Night Shamlan

23:20

movie and my teacher is asking me to draw a picture of

23:22

my family. And the camera cuts the piece

23:24

of paper and it's the most terrifying thing you've ever

23:26

seen in your life. That's how it

23:28

feels. And she goes good. She goes good,

23:30

I what else? What else do you feel? And I kept

23:33

describing these things that I felt

23:35

in the most Edgar Allan Poe esque

23:37

way. I've never been that articulate.

23:41

There's never been that close of a match between

23:43

what I felt and what I said in

23:45

my life. It

23:47

was the I felt the biggest shift.

23:50

It was the most I

23:52

can't I can't explain it better than

23:54

that. It was really really

23:57

nuts, And I was in that space for probably

23:59

maybe ten minut it's and then I went back, you

24:01

know, the session ended, but she it was just

24:03

like, um, it was. It

24:06

was wild. And it made me realize that

24:08

in these moments that

24:10

that I feel deep pain are also the moments

24:13

that I feel the most alive. And I'm

24:15

realizing that. And I don't need adderall

24:18

or alcohol or marijuana

24:20

to numb myself. I've managed to develop

24:22

a mechanism to numb myself sober,

24:26

and I think that why I feel so alive in

24:28

these sad moments, And like it kind of feels

24:30

twisted a little bit because I'm like, well, shouldn't I feel

24:32

live when I'm really happy too? And sometimes

24:35

I do. But that's my concern, like a common concern

24:37

for artists, you know, that's like the tide

24:39

talk that I love from the woman who wrote, eat, pray, love

24:42

is like you know, kind of like because

24:44

there is this fear as an artist that you can only

24:46

create or feel alive when

24:49

you are in pain. Did you did

24:51

you run that by your therapists that notion?

24:53

Or yeah I did? I did? And she said what she was

24:55

talking about me just numbing myself And how

24:58

chasing excitement is a is a UM on the

25:00

A c A website. Um, We're addicted

25:02

to excitement. That's how I always have felt.

25:04

I've viewsed that phrase before. I'm addicted

25:06

to excitement UM because it makes

25:09

you feel alive and you're because you don't feel alive um

25:11

anywhere else and and

25:14

uh, I'm trying to I took all down all

25:16

these notes because I left the therapy session feeling

25:19

like I was supposed to be walking

25:21

around with three legs my entire life, and I

25:23

finally got the third leg. That's

25:25

why it feels like when I feel like I was in

25:27

a time machine. When I was in the chair, like

25:30

I feel I felt myself like back to the future

25:32

esque, like just like in light speed goes somewhere

25:34

else, it was past past

25:37

or future past? Right? Okay?

25:39

Can I can I ask you a question? Just like, Okay,

25:41

so I

25:44

know why was it? Why

25:46

was it that question that because I

25:48

know who this person is, just like knowing this

25:50

other, like knowing what the person isn't knowing what what

25:53

went went down? Why

25:56

how is that related to

25:58

checking on your mind? Yeah, you can explain that without

26:01

giving away No, no, no, it's totally fine because

26:03

in reality has nothing to do with this guy.

26:05

It doesn't matter because I don't know why you want

26:07

to protect that guy. It's basically my Yeah.

26:09

I think one of the reasons why her words when she said

26:12

that it resonated with me is because I've been doing all this work

26:14

on myself lately. So one of the things on the

26:16

adult Child website is that we're confusing pity

26:18

with love. But what I mean by that

26:20

is you you love somebody

26:23

you can pity. Okay, so you love

26:25

somebody who needs your help. You look

26:27

so so meaning I'm not looking for a

26:29

wounded bird here. But if I find

26:31

a bird and we connect, and then the bird shows

26:33

me the wounds I attached

26:36

to the wounds, I don't know why I want

26:38

to help the person. So it's it's this this I

26:41

feel like the way I can love

26:43

you is by fixing you kind of thing. But I don't

26:45

look I don't look out for broken people.

26:47

I just want to meet people. Um,

26:50

I

26:52

I don't know. I guess maybe

26:54

I am and I don't realize it, but um, I think I

26:56

think a lot of people do that. Yeah,

26:58

but it's really exhaust sting. Yeah.

27:01

And the reason why it hit

27:03

me so hard is because I

27:07

I'm using all my energy and I'm giving it to other people,

27:10

all of it, every fucking little ounce of it. Well,

27:12

I mean, yeah, exactly same, And I mean I'm not

27:14

doing it because I'm not doing it for the same

27:16

reasons is as you, But I mean like

27:18

giving other people energy And then I'm like why, I'm like,

27:20

I don't. I can't even answer them, right why, I don't

27:22

know. And I think I've been doing that since I was so

27:24

little that I don't even realize it. So

27:27

the um the

27:29

pity thing I pitied my I've

27:31

never I've always struggled with feeling

27:35

so bad for a person and

27:37

loving them

27:39

so much and also

27:42

admiring their strength all

27:45

those three categories first places

27:47

my mom and all three categories and that's

27:49

a lot of It's very confusing and

27:52

so um that's

27:54

why when she said I'm checking on my mom, it just

27:56

made me so sad. It made me sad

27:59

that the little girl in me is

28:02

still sneaking in the mom's

28:04

room to her crying and just

28:07

looking in and crying herself like that. That's

28:09

you know, that's what's happening. And a lot of

28:11

inner We do a lot of inner child work

28:15

with my therapist and UM

28:17

and it's so fucking helpful. And

28:20

that I think I mentioned this on the podcast when

28:22

she had me talked to my six year old self, what would you tell

28:24

her? And then eventually I blurted out, I would

28:26

tell her she's it's not her job to be the mommy, um,

28:30

because you know, because

28:33

that's what I thought, that was the burden that I was carrying as a

28:35

child. I put that up myself. So I feel

28:37

like a weight was lifted when she did

28:39

that. I don't know. And and the other thing is she

28:42

had to me take a deep breath. And whenever

28:44

I get like that, I do not breathe

28:46

at all. Um, I barely,

28:48

like I just like suck aaron through

28:51

my teeth. It's weird, Like I'm not breathing, barely breathing,

28:53

right, now you could probably tell my boys. But um

28:56

yeah, that was just like a shift, like

28:59

like I'm a rubic cube and I

29:01

and it twisted one step closer

29:03

to all the colors being on each side. Um.

29:06

And it was just the gnarliest fucking thing I've

29:08

ever experienced in my life. I feel

29:11

different. I feel like a different person. I feel

29:14

like, um, I feel like I met my adult

29:16

self for the first time. Wow. Yeah,

29:18

well this therapist is I know, it's

29:21

crazy fucking amazing.

29:23

Well and she also I feel like a

29:25

star student too, because she uh,

29:28

she she doesn't tell me that exactly, but she's

29:30

like, you really are fervent

29:33

about getting better, Like you're

29:35

really diligent about

29:37

it and really concerned about it and consumed

29:40

consumed by you know, not in an unhealthy

29:42

way yet hopefully never. But um but

29:44

yeah, that's an interesting comment because actually my therapist

29:47

gave me a similar comment. And like every week

29:49

week when I come back and have done whatever she asked

29:51

me to do, she's always surprised. And I go, but

29:53

you asked me to do that, and she goes, I

29:56

know I asked you to, but she's like, she's like, you don't

29:58

have to. When I go, well, why would I waste my money in time?

30:00

I'm like, this is not cheap and

30:03

I have lots of other things to do with my time

30:05

besides talked to a semi

30:07

stranger, so why would

30:09

I be doing that? Exactly? We are very

30:11

busy people. I just

30:14

I mean, for anyone, I don't understand,

30:16

and like, you know, I have lots of friends who are therapists

30:18

too, and the same thing. It's like, uh, you know, I

30:20

think people you know are maybe ready

30:22

to take this step up going to a therapist, but

30:24

aren't actually willing to do the work. So it's

30:26

kind of like why why do that? You

30:28

go to an a a meeting and then have a drink after. I

30:31

just don't understand what the point is, because

30:33

like I can understand not being ready, but like to

30:35

waste your time and then still be subborn

30:38

about it, That's the that's the confusing part.

30:40

There's also things like I've done things before

30:42

in the past where I I feel guilty

30:44

that I'm not working on something, so I feel like I

30:46

should but I'm not ready to. But actually

30:49

I have married those two things yet, so that I'll

30:51

say I'm going to do it and then I'll get I'll beat

30:54

myself up for not succeeding in it or not doing

30:56

it well, whatever the funk. That's people who beat

30:58

themselves up as of a tendency to do that.

31:00

But um, and the other thing that I that

31:03

I realized I didn't do. I said this on Shane's podcast.

31:06

I think I

31:08

forget you such a good guy's gotta listen to it

31:12

is you know we're you and

31:14

I are very goal oriented humans. Like I. I

31:16

always have goals. I always have career goals,

31:18

education goals, volunteer like goals

31:21

for everything. Friendship like I work on

31:23

my friendships like I really want to work on being a great friend

31:25

and making sure that's really fun things with

31:27

my friends when we can and

31:29

be working at the right amount. I

31:31

have never once sat down and

31:34

thought about what I wanted in a man. Oh

31:36

really, not once. I

31:38

just I I don't even think

31:40

about it. I just like, oh, whatever happens

31:43

happens, and I look. That is a great attitude.

31:45

But I think you also have to be clear, just

31:47

within within yourself of what are

31:49

the qualities that I want. When I was in high school,

31:52

I was like, I just want a guys like Tan and has tattatos

31:54

like the fucking means nothing now, um.

31:57

And so there's so many there are so many qualities

31:59

that I would like in a guy that I

32:01

never even thought to brainstorm. So

32:03

that's my next homework assignments. I have to brainstorm. But

32:06

just to be clear, because then when you meet somebody

32:08

who doesn't check any of those

32:10

boxes. Checking boxes I always thought

32:12

was like, you know, when you meet someone like it

32:14

doesn't matter, but there's

32:16

certain things that you can't settle. There are certain things

32:19

well, and I think another thing that we've talked about a

32:21

couple of times is that we so often are thinking about

32:23

what we do want in a partner. But another

32:25

way to look at it that's can sometimes be more

32:28

helpful is to make a list of like

32:30

hard nose like things that you definitely cannot

32:32

have in a partner Like I

32:34

I have those, uh for sure,

32:36

but I feel like you've you know, for you, it's like you definitely need

32:38

someone who's like very emotionally in touch with

32:41

themselves, yes, but not a mess.

32:44

I'll confuse that, oh you

32:46

you you confuse someone who is showing a lot of

32:48

emotions as someone who is emotionally in

32:50

touch, right, right, right, so that's the gout to not do well

32:52

because an emotionally in touch person can actually not

32:55

show a ton of emotions, which not

32:57

necessarily Um,

32:59

and that's actually probably prefer because we

33:01

both can't be trying all the time,

33:03

you know. Yeah, but uh uh

33:06

what you said something else um podcast

33:10

that I wanted to I know. I was like, we should just release that

33:12

on ours. That was a good wine. Yeah,

33:15

well you know what, because I just love her so much that I

33:17

was like, I'll give you sometimes

33:19

sometimes, like when I'm on a podcast, I'll save the good

33:21

content for our podcast totally.

33:23

But that day and

33:26

girls Gotta Eat, I was like, I love both you guys. I

33:28

know. Yeah, we'll give you some gents,

33:30

we'll give you some exclusive we'll do a good job. Yeah,

33:32

but listen to that because there's something else that was said that I

33:34

was like, oh man, because you had said it and uh,

33:37

I forget what it was, but um, you know, and

33:39

also like I know now from dating,

33:41

you know from my past that I don't want oh this

33:43

is what you said. This is what you said. It's not weak

33:46

to want to be in a relationship and want to be in love. It's

33:48

a weak thing to make that clear, because

33:50

I've been setting up between desperate and

33:53

not and you can always smell it, even though

33:55

people say they can't. Every human being listening

33:57

to this can tell when someone's

33:59

being spirit and someone's not. Everybody

34:01

can so, but you don't specify

34:04

that. But um

34:07

I when you said that, I was like, yeah, you know what, You're right.

34:09

I feel like I I'm I pretend

34:11

to be so cool about this

34:13

ship. I really do, and not even on this podcast,

34:16

just in front of my to my friends, to you, to

34:18

my parents, I pretend to be fly

34:20

as funk when it comes to my

34:23

the way I'm dating, Like I don't really care. Yeah,

34:25

I don't care. I just pretend to be just fucking

34:27

James Dean motherfucker about the area

34:30

where I'm least cool. For sure, I

34:32

think everybody's the least. Not that I consider myself

34:35

super cool, uh to

34:37

begin with, but I mean I I kind of consider

34:39

myself to be pretty fucking cool. But with

34:41

men, it's like, that's not how I feel. That doesn't

34:43

match how I actually feel. Stop trying to

34:45

put on this fucking mask because

34:48

you don't. You don't really think like that,

34:50

Christina, And I'm I'm telling like I'm

34:53

talking about like conversations I'll have with Melissa, you

34:55

know what I mean, Like even that I feel like I'm putting on

34:57

a face and that's so stupid. Um,

34:59

So I'm gonna stop doing that because I do,

35:01

I really value I am the kind of person who

35:04

I just I just really love love

35:06

a lot. Well, I think the key is like when you think,

35:08

like, Okay, so because I've been thinking about bout we're

35:10

so deep into feminism now that we

35:13

that I have been trying to be

35:15

um, really cognizant of

35:18

not just being like like the answer

35:20

is always feminism. So I try to think of things

35:22

like and ways that feminism could

35:24

possibly be failing us. And I think there

35:26

are several and to be

35:28

aware of them. And I think one of them is that it

35:32

with this like you know, you know, be

35:34

alone, you don't need a man. But the

35:36

thing is like, it's not a relationship

35:39

is not about a man. We only

35:41

think of it because we are a

35:43

sectual women. But I was like, you

35:45

know, think of if you just if you make it genderless,

35:48

then you and you use and you use partner,

35:51

which I hate because it feels like it sounds it's

35:53

annoyingly. Well, I hate it in the way that

35:55

people use it, which is in like a you know, a Rachel

35:57

Dratch lover well a

36:00

kind of way. But when you think of partner

36:02

as what it really means, as in like it

36:04

is just a genderless person who is going to be kind

36:06

of like the you're not

36:08

other half. But the person who

36:11

uh makes makes you better, brings out your best

36:13

qualities, is your teammate that kind of a thing,

36:16

then it makes it a lot easier uh to

36:18

digest. And I think also

36:21

uh success like you you always

36:23

hear uh really successful

36:25

people uh or

36:28

talk or write about how you

36:31

know they were so blinders

36:33

on, goal oriented and

36:35

then they finally got the thing you

36:37

know, I'm talking career wized that they were looking for.

36:40

And then it feels very lonely at the top

36:43

if you don't have someone to share that success

36:45

with. So and because I am so obsessed

36:47

with celebrity, not even being I just love

36:50

I love celebrity. I love. That's why I

36:52

love Andy Warhol because he is someone

36:54

who was like shamelessly obsessed with celebrity

36:56

the way I am. And but I've always been

36:59

really aware of the negative parts too.

37:01

Um and so I always like kept

37:03

that that in the back of my head and I didn't

37:05

understand it then, but

37:08

I always had it in the back of my head. And now and

37:10

again this is like still like a low level of success,

37:13

but I understand it now

37:15

so clearly. So I can only imagine

37:18

how like a super megastar

37:21

must fight seen what was the most

37:23

famous person I've ever seen? Britney

37:26

spears well out on the street

37:30

and like, man, you just

37:32

you, you feel like you. If I didn't see

37:34

his face, I would have felt that it was him because

37:36

he just had like it's just crazy

37:39

for me, big Justin Bieber, I guess is the most famous person I've

37:41

ever Yeah, he's super famous. Yeah, I

37:43

mean, I mean, like truly was you know,

37:46

I would describe the meeting he was damaged.

37:49

I mean I I I said

37:52

high and I walked away because I was like, this poor guy

37:54

has been through He's taken

37:56

too much from him. He doesn't and as much as

37:58

I wanted to meet him and take a picture, I was like if

38:01

I was like, if I love him as much as I say I do, which

38:03

is I do? I was like, I just can't. I can't

38:05

take any more from him. He needs he needs

38:08

space. Um. But yeah, and also

38:10

the story about the therapy. I was like,

38:12

I have you you've seen love actually

38:15

right, yeah, I've told you this a couple

38:17

of times. That there's one one I always getting

38:19

mixed up with the holiday. Well that actually

38:21

is who Grant right? Yes,

38:24

yes, yes, yes, correct, yes Grant yeah,

38:27

Grant annoys me. Um. And but it's just really

38:29

like the one there's this one character I can't remember the actors

38:31

in a really good actor Laura mean it's I think it's Laura

38:34

Linney. Yeah, I'm prettyure it' Laura Linney. So

38:36

she plays a character and her relationship

38:38

with her her brother who is in um

38:41

what is the proper word a mental health

38:43

facility? Like commit he's committed

38:46

Um that relationship. I mean

38:48

I saw this years ago and it reminded me of

38:51

your relationship with your with your mom

38:53

and and in that movie. I like that cleared

38:55

it up a lot. I was like, oh, this is like there's

38:57

literally watched there's literally a moment when there's

38:59

a I in her office who she's obsessed with, and

39:02

this guy is like lore Lenny is beautiful, but this guy

39:04

is fucking the hot. He's

39:06

out of early visually, not personality

39:09

wise at all. Um and so

39:12

yeah, and she finally goes on a date with him,

39:14

it goes well like they're literally about to have sex

39:16

and her and the theme like her brother keeps

39:19

calling. Um and throughout

39:21

the whole movie, he keeps calling and they're

39:23

literally about to have sex, and

39:26

the like she stops having sex with

39:28

this guy or about like he's about to put it into

39:30

to answer the phone, because she is always

39:32

there for her brother and like, I remember

39:34

there have been times when like we've been like literally

39:36

like recording the podcast or something, and like your mom calls

39:39

and even if you don't pick up, your attention

39:41

is like gone, that's that was a

39:43

couple of years ago, I will say. But like

39:45

and so that's the only reason. And I was just like,

39:47

oh, maybe like if you saw another care Yeah,

39:50

yeah, it because like you want to

39:52

be like no, like give time to yourself.

39:54

But then it's like you can't. Yeah, I don't

39:56

know, I've never I haven't been. I didn't live

39:58

your childhood, so I don't know, you know what to say.

40:01

It's like, um, when you know, if I'm gonna

40:03

forget the word and all the technoks listening to me, you're gonna be screaming

40:05

into your speakers. But partitioning

40:07

a hard drive, that's what it is. You can partition

40:09

a hard drive when you buy a computer to do

40:12

half to be Mac, um,

40:14

like you can. You can devote half of

40:16

your hard drive to a Mac desktop

40:18

on that and then you can partition and devote or

40:21

whatever of your of your hard drive

40:23

space to two windows. And

40:26

I feel like, um, I

40:28

I don't know how to partition my brain

40:31

to balance the fact that bad things

40:33

and good things happen and everything

40:35

is both bad and good. Um.

40:38

It's really difficult because I love my

40:40

mother so much, and

40:44

even still when

40:46

she calls, you know, and like I said,

40:49

late the past couple of years, she's been fucking

40:51

so great and so like mentally

40:53

her mental state has been pretty great, and I'm so happy

40:55

for that. But when she answers the phone like hey,

40:57

honey, how are you I I

41:00

I take a breath of like

41:02

a sigh of relief. And then when she answers the phone like

41:04

hey I, just every

41:06

cell in my body cringes and I can't.

41:10

That's why I was so obsessed with you're either a good person

41:12

or a bad person like I I

41:14

you can't be both, but you can be both.

41:17

I'm saying my mom is good and bad, But I'm just saying

41:20

there's anxiety and unpredictable people

41:22

I've had, Like I had a teacher in middle school

41:24

who her personality was very unpredictable

41:28

and like it would give everyone anxiety

41:30

to go into that class because you don't know if she's gonna

41:32

missus Hughes is going to be in a good mood. And I can say, because

41:34

I'm pretty sure she's dead, Um, it's going to

41:36

be in a good mood where it's in a day that's going to be the day

41:38

that she fucking flings coffee on not everyone's papers.

41:41

Yeah, I mean that was an that guy,

41:43

Wait, she would do that. I got burnet middle school. That was an unsafe

41:46

situation you had, I

41:49

mean yeah, and she was obviously I mean

41:51

she was probably mentally ill for sure, and she

41:53

had had some kind of a stroke or something and was

41:56

like and I mean not in class, but like you

41:58

know was and there was like, you know, a legend

42:00

about her where she was a you know, used

42:02

to be like a beauty queen, like you

42:04

know, it was the John Benett's type but lived and like

42:08

that's good and so uh

42:11

but I mean, I just remember and I had not really

42:13

had much experience being around someone

42:16

like that, and everyone's like and

42:18

I also like friends that I have who are

42:20

really unpredictable with how they're gonna be

42:23

personalitised, they don't remain my friends for

42:25

long because just for I

42:27

really can't handle that. You're much better at handling

42:29

that good at

42:31

it. I need a real predictable

42:34

personality and someone like I can't.

42:36

I just I can't. I don't know how to deal with that.

42:39

M someone set me up on a blind date.

42:42

If you're listening and you have someone really good and

42:44

they're a firefighter or not a fight and they're

42:46

a firefighter, I gotta make a list of what I

42:48

want. But whatever I will, it's a firefighter

42:50

at the top now, because I did go on

42:52

a day with a firefighter and just because they're a firefighter

42:54

doesn't mean they're great. He wasn't

42:57

bad, but I was, like, I just

42:59

feel like a lot yeah, and also like you like you like

43:01

to and not again, this is just like a stereotype,

43:03

but a lot of like blue collar workers are not gonna you

43:05

know, be as interested in like right

43:08

social issues. I know, and

43:10

that's fine, and that's great, and I love

43:13

having bringing opposite things at the table. Just like a fucking

43:15

liberal enough fedor is not going to be able to build

43:17

a shelf for you, and that's totally fine. And

43:19

again, these are all stereotypes, but they're pretty

43:21

true. Um, And I would love to fucking

43:24

blue collar guys I really

43:26

like a lot. I like them. And maybe

43:28

that's the dad thing because my dad's I like them

43:32

and so is my brother. Ultimately, I can't see

43:34

it working out for me. Yeah, with

43:36

those, we'll see that. My idea was

43:38

like, oh, I want a blue collar comedian, not an actual

43:41

like Jeff Fox, like like Dan Soder.

43:43

I would say, is like blue collar ish you

43:45

think you can fix something? I don't. Um,

43:47

I think he could if he if he went on that path, if

43:49

he didn't become a comedian, he would know to build a shelf.

43:52

I'm saying, let's set up an obstacle course for

43:54

comedians and see who you can fix something.

43:57

Yeah, because James was one of my main

43:59

things, I was, Oh, he can

44:01

fix it, he can fix things. I was like, this

44:03

is perfect, this is great. Um,

44:06

alright, guys. So, uh, we have

44:09

been chatting a long time, but that's because we can do whatever

44:11

the funk we want. Our episode

44:13

only uh, every couple of episodes,

44:15

or maybe not every couple of months. Maybe we're gonna

44:17

do an email episode because

44:21

people really want to know what's in our inbox

44:23

and this gives us the appropriate amount of time to go

44:25

through it. Not rush uh an

44:27

answer, especially not now that we're not doing the

44:29

bonus episodes anymore. Again, there's been a couple

44:31

of changes. I announced it on the final

44:33

episode that would have been the final episode, but a

44:36

lot of people have been asking. So just if you

44:38

are wondering, I wasn't joking

44:40

when I said was the last one. And

44:43

again, we're gonna have other things. You know, at a certain

44:45

point, it's just time to like change, shut

44:47

up and so and do new things

44:49

and spend time on other things that

44:51

will be equally exciting, and we will share

44:53

with you as soon as they're done. Um.

44:56

So this first email,

44:59

this is the one you me to read, right, the first one. Yeah,

45:01

it's called I accidentally Pete on my fiance

45:05

Oops, Hiker and Christina. My name

45:07

is blah blah blah, I love your podcast.

45:09

My fiance and I have been listening for about two years

45:11

now. It has encouraged us to be more adventurous

45:13

and all that jazz. But seriously, thank

45:16

you, You're welcome. We saw you guys quite

45:18

a few months ago on your bridget Bishop

45:20

to where me loved your show. Christina

45:22

actually made fun of us for taking engagement photos.

45:24

I've attached one of our more

45:27

corny pictures. You know, all my friends

45:29

have gotten them, so I just got to accept them from that from here,

45:32

um, so let's get to the good stuff. Last weekend, I accidentally

45:34

pete on my fiance while sleep.

45:38

I thought, this is like I came and then I beat or Okay,

45:40

well yeah I've done

45:42

that. I mean more as a more as a child, I had a

45:44

very bad bed wedding problem. I've paid

45:46

on my brother for sure, non sexually. Um.

45:49

Throughout my life, when I need to use the bathroom

45:51

while asleep, I have had these extremely vivid

45:54

dreams where I get out of bed and go

45:56

to the bathroom, except I don't. I've

45:58

always woke myself up before actually

46:00

peeing due to noticing something odd about

46:02

the bathroom. Therefore, I've never

46:04

actually what the bet as an adult until

46:07

now. It was four in the morning. After having

46:09

one of those bathroom dreams. I woke up

46:11

on top of my fiance. I often

46:13

sleep on top of him. What uh,

46:16

one of the guy know, it's kind of fun, It's

46:18

sweet sleeping. I've never like stune

46:21

it a whole night, but I've taken a nap on top of a man

46:24

I bear.

46:26

Oh, I like like head and top on chest,

46:28

but the full one it just feels weird. Um.

46:32

Let's see, his shorts were soaked in urine

46:34

and he was still sound asleep. After quickly

46:37

deciding what to do next, should I change my underwear

46:39

rints off and let him take the blame. I

46:42

know I'm a terrible person for even thinking about

46:45

Everyone would have thought about that, but but don't. It

46:47

says that everyone's piecemell different. I don't know. I smell

46:50

my own pie, but I didn't actually do it. I ended

46:52

up waking him up, telling him what happened, and walking

46:54

my sleepy fiance to the shower.

46:57

Some backstory. We were staying at my sister's

46:59

house that night. I had never done laundry before

47:01

in my life, and my sister's laundry room

47:03

was located right next to her bedroom.

47:05

Okay, back to the story. I stripped

47:08

to the bed, put the sheets in the washer, and started

47:10

the search in the cabinets for laundry

47:12

detergent. Then my sister's husband showed up in

47:14

the doorway. After trying to hide what

47:16

was going on by not letting him open the

47:18

washer, in a fit of laughter, I eventually

47:20

told him what happened, and he taught me how to do laundry.

47:23

Put the soap and run the water, and then put in laundry.

47:25

And I know a lot of people are throwing shade at you right now, girl, but

47:27

I also do not know how to do the laundry. It's the one thing

47:29

I never learned and at this point probably won't

47:32

um. The next day, I told my best friend

47:34

the story, and she said she had

47:36

also ped the bed as an adult due

47:38

to one of these dreams. Lucky for her,

47:40

she was not on top of another human

47:42

being. She was in her own apartment and she

47:45

did know how to do laundry. Well, she's

47:47

great. I'm emailing for two reasons.

47:50

I thought you would enjoy the story, and I wondered if

47:52

this was something that was fairly common, or do you think

47:54

I need to talk to someone about this. Just

47:56

you know, alcohol was not involved in my incident or

47:58

my best friend's incident. Thank you for all you do,

48:01

Okay, I was gonna say. I was like, I have one

48:03

time p the bed as an adult and

48:05

it was alcohol related and

48:07

and that I mean, that's a time when you're when you're

48:09

like, I mean this was years ago, I was eating frank

48:12

and you're like, holy shit,

48:14

like this is this is

48:16

a time for reflection. I think

48:19

when you pay your pay your bed due

48:21

to a substance, and like it's

48:23

a thing that you see. You know, we saw it in a Star

48:25

is Born remake. We saw it, and

48:27

you see it in a lot of like rocker movies.

48:30

And also it's usually a guy, and for some reason,

48:32

the woman always like accepts it when a guy

48:35

does it. But then like if you saw in a

48:37

woman with a movie where a woman

48:39

did it, it would be like repulsive. And

48:41

I just want to point that out. Um,

48:43

I'm repost when it's either person, including

48:45

myself, and then you're like, what the fund did I

48:47

do? Um? And uh?

48:50

And I did Yeah, definitely. It's It's

48:53

one of the times when I was just like, oh, yeah,

48:55

Frank, you should be very pissed at me right now

48:57

for getting p on you. It was my

48:59

own thank god, but like

49:02

I mean it was due to alcohol. Yeah,

49:04

that's yeah, you guys was it was

49:06

like what the funk is going on? And I don't even know why

49:08

I had just I had never done that before,

49:11

never done it since, like crazy.

49:13

I think with with with her, she's having a dream that

49:15

she's seeing. That's that's gotta be what

49:18

it is like for her. I think you should

49:20

see some kind of a therapist because uh

49:23

more so. Not not that peeing isn't such

49:25

a huge deal, but like I'm always worried

49:27

with sleep disorders that you're gonna do something that's

49:29

gonna hurt yourself for someone else, obviously,

49:31

Christine and I just saw my show

49:35

and he has a really bad sleep disorder when he has to slip

49:37

himself up in like a fucking sleep sleeping

49:39

bag. So his like, so what he doesn't like murder you know,

49:41

living things while he's a sleep And then he telled in his

49:43

one man show. He told these stories about how women

49:46

have murdered their husbands and children, and

49:48

men have murdered their children and wives sleep

49:50

disorder because they thought that they were beating

49:52

them up and then they thought they were a monster.

49:55

Ye yeah, I mean that is terrible. So

49:57

not not to scare you more, and obviously it's

49:59

not, but I know that's something a sleep

50:02

disorder. Sleep disorders are really serious.

50:04

Even sleep apneau. People don't realize

50:06

how serious sleep disorders are

50:08

and how bad for your health they are and how important

50:11

getting a proper night sleep is to

50:14

uh to your life. So yeah, just go see

50:16

a therapist. It's something to be ashamed about, because

50:18

I think the urine makes you a little bit ashamed when you

50:20

shouldn't be. But really, just think of this is like, oh,

50:22

I have some kind of a sleep disorder and figure

50:25

it out. Yeah, and you're an insurance should

50:27

definitely cover that if you have it, and if not, hopefully

50:29

you can find some kind of like a sliding

50:31

scale therapist because I don't know

50:33

exactly what type of therapist you would go do, but that that's

50:35

something you can find only if you google some therapist

50:37

that do dream ship totally. Um, so I definitely

50:39

want to get to this email and then the next one you have to

50:42

read, oh my god, um okay, subject

50:44

line why can I only get an erection with girls

50:46

I don't like. Hey, guys, you two are

50:48

so fucking funny. You rock. Please don't use my name.

50:50

You can call me Frank. Okay,

50:53

that's what he said. So I have a rather concerning

50:55

problem on a twenty five year old guy who slept around

50:57

quite a bit, almost always with a random women

51:00

who I either don't care about or actually find them

51:02

like, or actually find unlikable.

51:04

Just because if I'm just trying to have sex for the

51:06

sake of sex of having sex, I don't really

51:08

discriminate when it comes to personality.

51:10

That makes a lot of sense. Thanks for being honest. I hope it don't

51:13

sound like a total dick. You don't, uh

51:15

Now, I've actually had a lot

51:17

of really great sex with these many women whom

51:19

I didn't know and or don't like. I

51:21

easily get an erection, we have sex, and we quite

51:24

often come at the same time, which is cool.

51:26

Okay, So here's the problem. There have been

51:28

a couple of women who I actually really liked

51:30

slash had a big crush on on uh

51:33

sprinkled into the mix of people I've slept with.

51:35

But for some reason, on these rare occasions when

51:37

I get a chance to have sex with someone I actually really

51:40

like, I have a rather hard time

51:42

getting a boner. This is so frustrating

51:44

to me because when it's just some random person I have no

51:46

feelings for, it's very easy for me to get a boner

51:49

or give her pleasure. But when it's someone who I

51:51

actually really care about giving pleasure to, I

51:54

have a really hard time getting erect and doing

51:56

so. Do you think I've programmed my brain

51:58

in a Pavlonian way to only to get a boner

52:00

if I know I don't care about seeing the other person? Is

52:03

this my brain trying to protect me from real

52:05

slash of real vulnerability slash

52:07

intimacy. I have been cheated on

52:09

twice, so maybe that's some kind of

52:11

defense mechanism. I've recently had sex

52:13

for the first time with a girl I really really

52:16

like. We had gone out five times

52:18

or so, and on the sixth state she

52:20

felt ready to have sex, and when we did, I

52:23

couldn't get a full boner, and I hadn't

52:25

even jerked off that day. I'm just very

52:27

sad because even when I'm sleeping with women

52:29

I don't really care for, giving another person pleasure

52:31

is very satisfying to me, and I wish I could

52:33

share that with with the people I really

52:35

care about. Maybe it's just normal

52:38

to not have great sex the first time you sleep

52:40

with someone I don't know. Well, thanks for your

52:42

help. Also, Christina, did you end up sucking that fireman

52:44

who hit on you? Oh? Thanks for asking. Frank,

52:47

Um, No, I didn't. Um, I kissed

52:49

him is actually good kiss her? So Okay,

52:52

this is obviously all mental. This is all

52:54

mental, and you know that. Um.

52:57

It's We talked about this before

52:59

about guys when not

53:01

getting a boner, but sometimes when they don't get a boner,

53:03

it means they actually really do like you a lot.

53:06

That is true. Dan Savage talks about

53:08

it all the time. It's mental. One thing

53:11

that may help you because this is

53:13

all mental. So you can change this by changing

53:15

your mind. Right, So now you have to figure out, well

53:17

how to change your mind best so that you can get a boner

53:19

with this girl you really like. You've been on five dates with, talk

53:22

to her about it. Talk to her about it.

53:25

If you if you've gone on five or six states, that means you guys

53:27

have talked a lot, I would assume. Unless

53:29

you go to the movies every date, and there's

53:31

a way to talk about it that doesn't feel overly

53:34

explaining or clinical or

53:37

whatever. You can just say like, I

53:39

mean, because what you said to us, I'm like, yeah, dude,

53:41

that sucks, and let's talk about it. If

53:43

you said that to me then we were

53:45

going on all these dates you said it to me the way you

53:47

said it in your email, I would totally

53:50

have a conversation with you about it. I think I like the

53:52

way you whoever is writing this, I'm calling

53:54

you, Frank. I like the way you talk. I like the way

53:56

you communicate um and I like how in touch

53:58

you are with your feelings and how you notice

54:01

that you It might be a defense mechanism because

54:03

who fucking knows. I don't know, but I think

54:05

if you go on all these dates with people and it gets

54:07

to the point where, wait, she wants to fuck, I

54:09

want to fuck. I have this thing that I know is

54:11

gonna not do well. Um

54:14

me, and you're dick with someone you like, have

54:16

a conversation about that and just be honest with the

54:18

fact that you're kind of nervous because do

54:22

you do this weird thing where you love having sex and

54:24

a lot of times when you have sex with people, it's for

54:26

sex sake, which is not a rude thing to

54:28

say. And if a girl gets mad at you for that, that's

54:30

sucking her problem because that's not nothing

54:32

wrong with what you're saying. It's how you think, it's

54:34

what your preference. Also, not like you're saying that to the girl

54:36

that you're only fucking exactly, and so the

54:38

compliment real exactly. So by making it clear

54:41

like a lot of times I have a lot of casual sex, and

54:43

and it's with people that I'm not interested in a relationship,

54:46

you could just say it that way instead of like they're ugly or

54:48

they're a cunt um and

54:51

then say, it's really easy for me to get an erection.

54:53

But when I really like somebody, my

54:56

my dick does this thing where it gets really shy

54:58

because I'm nervous because it's all mental and and

55:00

I really like you so and then I

55:02

think you should take the conversation to

55:05

a place where it's like maybe the first time

55:07

you're intimate, don't have intercourse. I

55:09

would say that if because you can cross the board chat

55:11

anyone, if you're super interested in having a relationship,

55:14

I would go no sex in the first day out.

55:16

Dude, you said you you you say, it's um

55:18

your bummed that you can't give this girl

55:20

pleasure because you really like her. There are

55:22

so many more ways to give a girl pleasure that have nothing

55:25

to do with your dick, eating her out, fingering

55:27

her, doing those things, playing with

55:30

her clip. Those things are the most

55:32

fun, and it doesn't matter if your dick works or not. That's

55:35

why a lot of women like the

55:37

whole Bigger is better. Bigger dick is better,

55:39

It's not really better because if you use

55:41

it right and you go with your hands and you go with your tongue,

55:44

I don't give a shit, you know what I mean. And then

55:46

no sex on the first day isn't at all like a like

55:48

a horror thing. Uh. It's just that

55:51

if you have good sex, you can

55:53

then be distracted from seeing bad

55:55

qualities in a in a person. And

55:57

it's really hard to unt really hard

55:59

to undo yourself, especially if

56:01

you have any kind of like addictive personality. So

56:04

for me, like, I mean like and sometimes like and

56:06

sometimes I like, No, I don't I've never

56:08

dated someone like officially who I actually thought

56:11

was a bad person. But there's one

56:13

person who I had had seen on and off for a

56:15

while who I actually think is a bad person. And

56:17

I knew it, and I know my friends knew it. Sometimes

56:20

you think it's hot, but I was just like this sex

56:22

is just so good and and for me, like

56:24

the the abuse isn't I

56:26

mean, it isn't infiltrating. So I

56:28

was like, I just made me feel bad for him, and

56:30

I would just be like, hello, wow, you know

56:34

whose are in this situation. It's not me. Um.

56:36

But even if you go on multiple dates with this person and

56:39

she's ready to have sex, don't have sex right

56:41

away, honestly, And that will make her hot. That'll probably

56:43

make her hornier. If she's like, Okay, now

56:45

I'm ready to have sex. Because I'm thinking five

56:47

or six dates and she says she's ready to have sex, I'm

56:50

guessing you didn't finger her because you would

56:52

have said this or like you know, done other things right,

56:54

like been sexual another another way. So when if

56:56

she says she's ready to have sex and you say I'm

56:58

not ready yet because and this my dick does

57:00

this thing, blah bah blah, She's probably gonna want to bang

57:03

even more, right, And that's that I want to encourage nagging

57:05

or mind fuckery, but you're being honest.

57:07

It's part of it. I mean, like if you

57:09

don't, if you don't suck a girl on a first date,

57:11

and like I mean, like they're just gonna get

57:13

more thirsty for it if they like you,

57:16

and I mean then they then reasoning

57:18

for not having sex with her immediately would

57:20

be because of this thing you're telling us about. So it's

57:22

not like you're using it. It's like, you

57:24

know, it's a bonus that she's gonna want to suck you more

57:26

the the fact that you're not going to suck her the

57:29

first time she wants, and if you're not comfortable talking about

57:31

it to her, I mean, I think there is some work that obviously needs

57:33

to be done, um, you

57:35

know, and it's something I don't. I mean obviously, like I have a vaginas,

57:37

I don't have to worry about a boner, which is like a turn

57:40

being turned on. Is mental, that's for sure,

57:42

for sure, but it's like easier, like you can fake

57:44

getting wet. You can't fake an erection. So

57:46

that's the difference, because like you can put some loop

57:48

up in there, like you know, lick your hand and wipe it and

57:51

you're fine, um, but I mean definitely,

57:53

Like I always like, as soon as I meet

57:56

up with someone go on a date, if I'm not attracted

57:58

to them, or if like in my case, i've

58:01

realized that they're homosexual, um, I

58:04

aced the date. But if when I really like someone,

58:06

i'll get I'm so nervous, and sometimes

58:08

I do okay, um, and sometimes

58:11

I don't. And I've luckily had some

58:13

experience like meeting people that I really admired,

58:15

which was not a date, but it is like a similar feeling

58:18

if you could be yourself in front of that. Yeah, so,

58:21

and it was really hard. But like people, I'm just an example,

58:23

Like the first time I talked to like David Tell, like, I

58:26

felt like we weren't on a date, but I was so fucking

58:29

nervous that we might as well have been,

58:31

even though he was not interesting. But

58:36

I don't know that. It was just like getting so

58:38

just like getting past that, And the real way

58:40

to get past that is to stop having

58:42

sex with these women that you don't care about

58:45

and exclusively safe people for

58:47

the lady you love. Yeah, and then god,

58:50

I do mean that that sounds funny, But then also like train

58:52

yourself to get past because the only way to fight

58:54

the fear is to is to go right into

58:56

it. So it's like if you're scared of something,

58:58

you keep doing it and then eventually you won't

59:01

be scared anymore. The same is like doing stand up,

59:03

Like, yeah, terrified the first couple of times

59:05

I did it, But now it's my job and I can literally

59:07

walk in, take a bite of cheesy Gordina

59:09

crunch, get on stage still finished chewing it, and feel

59:12

comfortable. I mean when I started stand up, I couldn't

59:14

eat within like five hours of doing a

59:16

set. Now I literally will be like finishing

59:18

chewing it when I got on stage because it's just my job.

59:21

Comfort now, Yeah, it's

59:23

comfort levels. So save your jizz

59:26

for the lady of your dreams. Save your jiz.

59:29

Okay, um this email thank

59:31

you for something? Uh

59:35

my encounter with R Kelly

59:38

done done, done, Hey ladies. So I just finished

59:40

watching Surviving R Kelly, and I'm feeling

59:42

some type of way anytime someone says

59:44

that, I know she's about to go down. About six

59:47

years ago, he played a music festival in Chicago

59:49

that my friends and I went to. We

59:51

were leaving the show, we ran into him

59:54

when we were leading the show. He ran into him getting on his

59:56

tour bus and all took pictures. Blah

59:58

blah blah. Definitely, man,

1:00:00

I just imagine our Kelly walking on his tour bus so

1:00:03

slowly so that everybody could fucking see

1:00:05

him. It's like when you have a crush on someone

1:00:07

and you have like a loud, hilarious conversation right

1:00:09

in front of them, but it's our

1:00:11

Kelly's already fucking favorite. Or you keep going

1:00:13

to the bathroom and then the person just thinks you

1:00:16

have diarrhea and and you don't. It's not

1:00:19

um okay, so uh, the two pictures

1:00:21

blah blah blah. As we left, he slipped my friend a piece

1:00:23

of paper with a phone number on it. We were

1:00:26

young and curious, so we texted it. Long

1:00:28

story short, we ended up at his studio thinking

1:00:30

we were going to some after party situation

1:00:33

that was not the case at all. There were

1:00:35

random people passed out everywhere, and we couldn't

1:00:37

enter the studio without signing a nondisclosure

1:00:40

agreement. That's not a great

1:00:41

wom

1:00:43

My friend and I ended up somehow alone in

1:00:45

a room where him with

1:00:47

him, where he referred to us as

1:00:50

uh quote little white babies

1:00:53

and asked us our age right

1:00:56

off the bat, we were our late tourneys. I

1:00:58

knew right away we were in some ship.

1:01:01

Once we were in the room, he almost immediately

1:01:03

pulled his penis out, to

1:01:05

which I made a scene and called him a weirdo.

1:01:08

Oh you sit burnaby.

1:01:11

He also tried to dictate that my

1:01:13

friends and I perform sex

1:01:15

acts on each other. I just

1:01:17

wasn't there for that or into that, so

1:01:20

I talked a lot of ship to him. Wow.

1:01:22

He was not a fan of me or my attitude,

1:01:25

so he forcefully escorted me out

1:01:27

while he proceeded to lock my friend

1:01:29

in his studio with him. The

1:01:33

things she told me about what

1:01:35

he did slash wanted done to him are

1:01:38

not something that I want to get into. So

1:01:40

you know, it's dark, uh, but

1:01:42

he is not well. At the time, she

1:01:45

said she was okay and consented to

1:01:47

being there. But looking back, we are both

1:01:49

in shock that we would even get into that situation.

1:01:52

I know our story is not even close to

1:01:54

what the women in this documentary experience.

1:01:56

Well it doesn't seem great, honey, honestly

1:01:58

so, but looking back, it was

1:02:01

super fucked up. Yeah, and anyone

1:02:03

that doesn't think he's fucking sick or still

1:02:05

supports his music needs to get a grip on

1:02:07

reality. He's a literal monster,

1:02:10

and I believe the stories

1:02:12

told about him because I've seen it firsthand.

1:02:15

And people always want to blame the victims, like

1:02:17

why even go? What were you thinking?

1:02:19

But our society has completely normalized

1:02:22

his behavior for so long we didn't even

1:02:24

think about it. And also celebrity guys the power,

1:02:27

Um, we thought we were going to a

1:02:29

party of the celebrity's house exactly, which

1:02:31

when you're young, is exciting and we should

1:02:34

be able to have those experiences in life

1:02:36

without the fear of being assaulted by that person.

1:02:38

I know it could have been much worse. And although

1:02:41

my sassy mouth gets me in trouble a lot

1:02:43

in life, I think it's saved me from

1:02:45

being another victim of his last

1:02:48

That last sentence resonated with me. But I mean

1:02:50

it's it's true because and there's

1:02:52

there's also another woman in the documentary who

1:02:55

is the older sister of

1:02:57

I guess it's it's as Real's older sister, and as

1:03:02

Rielle's older sister also was mouthy

1:03:04

enough that uh she got out of

1:03:06

it. And there's multiple experiences

1:03:09

that I've heard of where you know, it's like it's

1:03:11

it's it's goes along with the story that my mom always

1:03:13

used to tell me when I was a kid, called a ransom of red

1:03:16

chief. Uh. And if that's racist,

1:03:18

I don't know, it's it isn't that name of the story,

1:03:20

I don't know. I just you never

1:03:23

know these days, whatever whatever. The story

1:03:26

itself, in short, is about a kid

1:03:28

who gets kidnapped and he's so

1:03:30

fucking difficult that the kidnap the kidnappers

1:03:32

send him back. Um.

1:03:34

And so that's why everybody

1:03:36

wants everybody to be quiet into

1:03:39

themselves and polite, because then everybody

1:03:41

that's easy. It's so easy for me to have power. Of

1:03:43

course. I mean basically like if like you know, we are

1:03:45

so scared to be difficult, but like unless

1:03:48

someone has a weapon to your head, being

1:03:51

difficult is usually

1:03:53

not is usually not worth it. But I mean

1:03:55

with a weapon to your head, I mean like a lot of times

1:03:57

gone, you're gonna yeah. I mean, like that's the

1:03:59

same thing we talked about, you know, car jacking, Like once

1:04:01

you're in the car, like try to get out, even if

1:04:03

the car is moving and not at top speed, but uh,

1:04:06

you know, at a red light whatever, even if a person has a gun,

1:04:08

because once you're like away,

1:04:11

taken away, like the chances of you getting back

1:04:13

are very very slim. Um.

1:04:16

So yeah, speaking speaking out and

1:04:18

not just be being okay and and listening

1:04:20

to your gut. Again, we went over these statistics a while

1:04:22

back, but so many uh

1:04:25

women got themselves into a bad

1:04:27

situation. And again like not blaming the woman,

1:04:29

but like, you know, just stop

1:04:31

the trust your fucking instincts. Your instincts

1:04:34

are so spot on. I mean, think of yourself.

1:04:36

We are humans, we are animals. If you

1:04:38

feel something is not right, is weird,

1:04:40

And a lot of times I'll get out of an elevator, I've gotten

1:04:42

out off a subway car, and just like if something feels

1:04:44

weird, I've gotten off subway cars because I'm like that guy's gonna

1:04:47

don't worry about offending people, don't worry about it whatever.

1:04:49

Just you know, we're not that's

1:04:52

not the concern. Your safety is more of a concern than

1:04:54

hurting someone's feel and being worried about hurting

1:04:56

other people's feelings is how people get power over

1:04:58

you. And so understand in these dynamics

1:05:00

at play. We're not throwing blame anywhere, but understanding

1:05:03

the dynamics at play is going to make you more aware

1:05:05

if it ever happens to you, which hopefully it does not. Yeah,

1:05:07

and then also bring it back to what I always tell you,

1:05:09

No adult man wants to be your friend. There's

1:05:13

one thing you can get from this podcast.

1:05:15

Man wants to be needs to

1:05:17

be your friends. And No, I

1:05:19

really that really resonates with me because

1:05:22

sometimes I still think adult men want to be my friend.

1:05:24

Well, even with the guy I like. I like,

1:05:26

even when when I was so concerned about like if it

1:05:28

was like and I was like, is this a date or not? No

1:05:32

professional musicians? I

1:05:34

was like, no guy wants I was like, Karne, this is what

1:05:36

you say all the time to Christina, and you're not listening

1:05:39

to your own guys. Damn it. It's fall into

1:05:41

though in it. And then they're like, of

1:05:43

course, of course. I was like, this is

1:05:45

your fucking motto, no adult man

1:05:48

wants to be your friend. How could you forget

1:05:50

your own fucking motto. I know the

1:05:52

possibility of possibly fucking somebody

1:05:54

causes wars has brought down Empires

1:05:57

brought down presidencies has

1:05:59

made war more fun than Yeah, And I'm like, I mean, I guess

1:06:01

it's like I'm like I thought, I'm like, I think my personality

1:06:04

is too interesting. I'm like, no, of course it's

1:06:06

not. No, don't man not to be your friend, friend

1:06:11

guy, Thank you so much for listening to

1:06:13

this episode of Guys we fucked. We didn't announce

1:06:15

this, but we were the guests. Uh oh yeah, we didn't

1:06:17

at the beginning. Yeah, we said it at the beginning. Um,

1:06:19

but we appreciate you. Thanks for emailing us.

1:06:22

Sorry about last night show. At

1:06:24

gmail dot com is our email, Continue

1:06:26

to email us. These emails are fucking

1:06:29

insane. We have so many. We we have this pdf that

1:06:31

our associate producer put together and we only

1:06:33

got to page three of twelve. So yeah, because

1:06:36

we have so much good content and you know, as I as

1:06:38

I mentioned, we're gonna do these every you know, couple

1:06:40

of months, just to catch people up

1:06:43

with what is happening in the inbox because

1:06:45

it's so interesting and there's so much to learn from.

1:06:47

And if you have original music,

1:06:49

oh yes, GWF podcast

1:06:52

produced podcast music.

1:06:55

That's why I looked yesterday. G

1:06:57

w F podcast music the

1:07:00

email dot com Mike Coscarelli.

1:07:02

Streaming links. That's what we need, streaming links.

1:07:04

If he chooses your song and be on the podcast, what he's

1:07:06

gonna do is he's gonna send you this thing.

1:07:08

They have to copy and paste and acknowledge, basically

1:07:11

saying like, yes, you can use my song, um

1:07:13

so yeah please uh do

1:07:15

that because all of the music as listeners submitted

1:07:17

and you guys are really fucking talent. We love you lots, Thank

1:07:19

you so much. To take good care of yourself. Don't drink and drive

1:07:22

older men, they don't want to be your friends.