0:00

You were now checked in to Stand Up

0:02

New York Labs. Oh

0:04

yeah, welcome to Guys

0:06

We Fucked Guys,

0:09

We Guys book.

0:11

I'm Christina, I'm Coren're sorry

0:13

about last night. Coming to you from

0:15

Stand Up New York Labs Guys, Anti

0:19

slut Shaming Podcast. I

0:21

never stopped. Hey,

0:26

everybody, Welcome to another episode of Guys,

0:29

We Fucked Guys, We Fucked,

0:31

the anti sluckt Shaming podcast, coming

0:33

to you from Stand Up New York Labs in New

0:36

York City. I'm Karin, I'm Christina.

0:38

We are sorry about last night. Um

0:42

today, I'm not. You're not sorry

0:44

about last night. I am sorry about

0:46

two nights ago. You're sorry about what was

0:48

two nights ago? Oh well, the roast

0:53

is the thing though, means Stephen hadn't had sex

0:55

in like a couple of days. And I was just when

0:57

I drink. First of all, when I drank, I'm just

0:59

like you were drunk. Yeah, I was drunk

1:02

and it was fun. But I came home and

1:04

I just wanted to bang and

1:07

he was up, which is it was like two am.

1:09

He was up. I was so excited and I

1:11

was like, wait, let me go to the bathroom. Take him my contact

1:13

and then uh, you

1:16

bar yeah, yeah,

1:19

and then he was he heard me, I like flushed

1:21

the toilet and put the shower on so he wouldn't you read.

1:24

And I tried to gross out. No,

1:26

but I just I feel gross, like if I know

1:28

he heard me me vomiting and just me

1:30

knowing about it. I don't care because it brush my teeth, take care

1:32

of it, you know. But uh, and I usually don't

1:35

vomit when I drink. That was like a thing I did when I

1:37

was much younger. And he I get back in the bedroom

1:39

and goes, oh barbs McGee a. I'm

1:41

like, god, damn it. And then we just went

1:43

to bed. Oh my god. Well this thing is usually after

1:45

I puke, I don't feel well. I

1:48

usually don't either, but I did that time. Yeah.

1:50

Yeah, well usually we don't get

1:53

drunk at the same time. And I saw, you know, and

1:55

you were making all kinds of weird poses and I was like, oh,

1:57

boys, someone had Oh well that was because it was a

1:59

crazy person, uh that had

2:02

clinged onto our group. Yeah no, no, no, I know she's

2:05

very crazy. She

2:07

was crazy, and of course Mike

2:10

Ristine had sex with her all right, everyway

2:13

everyone's a comedian. Um,

2:16

so before we get into it, I

2:18

do want to shamelessly self promote

2:21

shows. One week from

2:24

today, we will be at Comics at

2:26

Foxwood's in Connecticut, hosting two

2:28

nights, Filthy Friday and

2:31

uh The Nasty Show Saturday.

2:35

I was waiting for literation. I was like, that's definitely not the name

2:37

of the show. Um, it's gonna be Christina

2:39

and myself hosting and they're at what time?

2:42

Ten thirty? Dude, They're gonna be good.

2:44

You guys, if you live near the Connecticut

2:46

area or a surrounding state, you should come. It's gonna it's

2:50

gonna be really fun and it's a really nice it's

2:52

a nice fun venue. We're gonna

2:54

be there sleeping over on Friday.

2:57

Yeah, we got a hotel room. I'm so excited. I love

2:59

what We're gonna have booze. We're gonna

3:01

have bops, boobs, boobs,

3:04

bore both bringing our boobs. Yeah.

3:07

I was gonna leave mine in home, and I was like, you know what, it's

3:10

Connecticut. I think we should

3:12

bring the party. The thing is with a casino, Like we

3:14

will be in Connecticut, but you could like a casino was

3:16

just a bubble like it could be fucking anywhere.

3:19

That's just true. You don't leave. Do you like gambling?

3:21

Uh no, I hate me too. I don't have ten

3:24

dollars to lose, one dollar to lose the thought

3:26

of losing money gives me such

3:28

anxiety. We have no money, guys.

3:31

Yeah, Like it's like it's like, oh, I could stuff

3:33

twenty dollars into a machine that will not give

3:36

it back to me, or I could buy a hamburger. I

3:38

put my pants on this morning, thank

3:40

you, and there was a

3:43

dollar in the back pocket. And the joy,

3:45

the joy that I felt was

3:47

and then I spent it on to bags

3:50

of chips in the bedding machine. Wow. When

3:52

I was so worried that. When I was younger, I

3:54

used to take my allowance and I would hide

3:56

it in increments twenty

3:58

dollars. What I do with my we I hide

4:00

it for myself around it and then I would

4:03

have an indeck I would take on an index

4:05

card. I would write like a key just in case

4:07

I forgot where then it was. And then I taped

4:09

it under my desk with the secret

4:11

and then I would ultimately forget and

4:14

then and then once I just found the key,

4:16

and I was like, oh my god, I have all this money.

4:20

Great, that's amazing. Yeah, I wish

4:22

I still had that hit and unfortunately, so I do to

4:24

my credit card. I do that to my credit card too. Oh yeah, I

4:26

get drunk and I hide it. I

4:28

saw you throw it in the attic one. I've

4:30

just pitched it in my loft storage loft and took

4:33

me the one took me a few years to find it. So that

4:35

was good. I remember that was a fun day. But I found

4:38

it and I treated everybody all

4:40

right. Speaking of treats, last week, we spoke about

4:43

a very in depth abortion. Yes,

4:46

and there's a good The feedback

4:48

was good. I was I was hoping that people would kind

4:50

of recognize that it doesn't get

4:53

talked about a lot. I don't didn't even know what

4:56

happens when a woman chooses to do that

4:58

and then what the process is, right, But

5:00

it was good. I was glad that people people

5:02

really appreciated it. Yeah, I was happy

5:05

we got some good feedback. Um so uh.

5:08

A gentleman named Carl wrote us on our

5:10

Facebook page. He messaged us and he

5:12

said, hey, funk our ladies. I love the show.

5:14

The first episode I listened to with the crying in the

5:16

intro, that was awesome. Yeah

5:20

one of one of you all mentioned how

5:23

people were listening with their dick in their hand. I tend to

5:25

listen at work a lot, so that was only figuratively

5:27

the case. I was hoping for titillation

5:30

at first, which I feel like a lot of people do when they stumble

5:32

across our podcast, but I found

5:34

it's so completely otherwise. It's just so very good

5:36

and revealing to hear women talk openly about sex.

5:39

The reason that is so important for me plays into

5:41

why I wanted to write to you bitches right you bitches

5:43

up and thank you. I love what your ex

5:45

sex worker guests had to say. She diffused

5:48

a great deal of stigma surrounding sex workers, which

5:50

was great, but she also explained why being a john

5:52

is no great sin or personal fault either. Men

5:55

have sexual needs that they sometimes cannot fulfill

5:57

in the normal way. Right. It resonates with me because

5:59

I offer from major anxiety. Dating is a nasty

6:02

mess for me. Keep me three.

6:04

I keep trying to, but things really

6:07

work out, even to date even

6:09

with even out wait, shit

6:12

work out, even to date number two. I can't

6:14

read out loud like, I hope I never have to give a eulogy.

6:17

It has been over two years since I had sex, no flacio,

6:19

no penetration data. I'm lucky

6:22

to live in an Internet age where porn is free and plentiful.

6:24

Still, human craves something more, don't they. I

6:26

used to feel shamed. You're furtive,

6:29

furtive, furtive again. I can't

6:31

read out loud. I hope I never have to read anybody's funeral.

6:33

That's really gonna suck for me. All secretive

6:36

about my sextra curricular activity,

6:38

mostly adult theaters, video Booth, recently Stripper

6:41

Booth, like I was some sort of degenerate.

6:43

I'm just thankful to have a voice in my head provided by you ladies,

6:45

reminding me that there's nothing wrong with what I am doing,

6:47

that I have basic human needs and I'm allowed

6:50

to fulfill that need. Then he goes on to say, you know,

6:52

what advice do you give for people who are anxious like

6:54

me, who kind of can't get

6:56

you know, I don't have hard time going up to

6:58

women. Have you heard of line? Oh

7:01

yeah, whiskey, that's what I reckon. He didn't say,

7:03

if you drink or not, we're actually drinking a

7:05

lime arita. Yeah, bud

7:07

Light is not our sponsor. But if anyone

7:09

from bud Light is listening bud

7:12

Light over bud Light, no,

7:15

no, no, bud Light Lime. Bud

7:17

Lights and bud Light Lime are two very

7:20

different things. I agree, bud

7:22

Light Lime is one of the best beers young

7:25

and fresh. Bud Lights like, it's like soda

7:28

for adults. Bud Lights and

7:30

guys, don't be drunking if you're

7:32

not. I really honestly

7:35

though, because you guys listen to me, and I'm sure a lot of you

7:37

things like oh this one loves you

7:39

would think you've been drinking for a while, but you really

7:41

haven't. I I didn't start drinking until

7:43

I was twenty one, and not because like I'm like a fucking crazy

7:45

rule follower, just because there wasn't a need um

7:48

things. Basically, things don't get that bad until

7:51

you're twenty one. So I didn't drink because things got back

7:53

to save it. I drink in high school because there are

7:55

parties and I wanted to be a part of that ship and I want to make out

7:57

with all the seniors. When I was a freshman, because I had a thing for older

8:00

bowl Oh god, I just still do. Don't,

8:03

man, I don't know. I just drinking. The drinking in high

8:06

school. Just a lot of liquid vomit I've

8:08

seen just purely quid into

8:10

like CBS bags and shure. Yeah, yeah, that

8:12

happens. No one happens when you're young. No one needs to see

8:14

that. Um, do you want to read one more? Yes?

8:17

Uh? Let the middle one is good? Okay be

8:19

dub rights. Hi ladies, I'm a twenty two about

8:22

to be twenty three June tenth. Can I get a shout out

8:24

place you're I

8:27

feel like I have to say that, seeing as how most of

8:29

your listeners seem really young. I was

8:31

curious if either of you had a song I love this one

8:34

or a list of songs you like to you bump uglies

8:36

with yourself too. Personally, I like to masturbate

8:38

or even funck to you. What I Am by Edie

8:41

Brickell and my husband loves anything by Nickelback.

8:45

Still trying to figure out how we got married with

8:47

that little factor. I'm a songwriter, and

8:49

as such I enjoy all types of music. Don'ty

8:51

suggestions on some different sounds to finger bin

8:53

two or what your personal preference is if you

8:56

have one p s. I love the podcast and my husband

8:58

and I listen every week and get into some pretty

9:00

heated discussions over certain topics. I

9:02

just found out I'll be seeing you in Connecticut. Super excited. Love,

9:05

Well, we'll see you there. See

9:07

you in Connecticut. Please come up and say

9:10

introduce yourself as be done, because otherwise we're we

9:12

need to make this connection. Yeah, I

9:14

don't bump. But first of all, bump uglies,

9:17

I've never heard that phrase for masturbating. I

9:19

never master Yeah, yeah, and I never heard it using.

9:21

I've heard it, but never in terms of masturbating.

9:23

Yeah, what did you think it meant like bump bumped

9:26

into an ugly person? No, I thought it was like just

9:28

fucking something. I don't know. I mean,

9:30

I don't know, bumped

9:33

uglies. I

9:35

don't masturbate to music. I masturbate to porn,

9:38

and I masturbate to porns. I masturbated

9:40

to porn, so I don't. Yeah, if

9:43

I can, if i'm in, if I turn

9:45

the volume up, and that's what I listened to, I masturbate to

9:47

thoughts. Um see wait, I am

9:50

so intellectual. I always turn the volumes

9:52

down on porn. I fucking hate. I

9:54

hate this when the girls go

9:57

like a freaking like dying dog. No,

10:00

there's no seal, it's I think I'm

10:02

watching it ruins it. Oh,

10:04

it can ruin it for me so bad if they're so what's

10:07

going on is so hot? And then the noiser is like like

10:12

or you just hear the fucking ball sack against

10:14

the ass, I'm like,

10:16

that feels good. I don't need it. I don't need to hear that,

10:19

you know. I'm just that's not that's not like that.

10:21

That's not like a that's not like a hot sound

10:23

when I'm having yeah,

10:26

yeah, Like I

10:30

don't like, I don't like this this thing where they

10:32

I was actually I watched point in their day just

10:35

you know, did you Yeah, and to masturbate or

10:37

just to be like the kids or no, I can't watch

10:39

porn, just to watch porn to no

10:42

so I and and I hate

10:44

these ones where they try to make them seem like films.

10:46

I'm like, let's get to this. I know, I

10:49

know there's like a there's like a filter over

10:51

it, like a little glamour shop. I

10:53

found this European guy who just like basically

10:55

like stops like real people goes

10:57

around with his camera and stops like real chicks and

10:59

like offers money to do crazy

11:01

shit. Well yeah, but if it's

11:03

on a porn site, they're probably God,

11:07

I would hope it is, unless there's many crazy people running

11:09

around. I'm I'm taking a trip, really

11:11

tame life. Um yeah,

11:14

so that was fun and I'll always I always search

11:16

things like, you know, what do you look at when you goth

11:19

brunette teen? It looks like

11:21

you? Yeah, yeah,

11:24

big titted, curly haired girl. Yeah,

11:26

it's very narcissistic for me. I I don't

11:28

like I don't I don't like blondes,

11:31

I don't like tan lines. I don't like big

11:33

fake boobs. Big boobs are case as long as they're not fake.

11:36

Um um that's yeah.

11:39

Yeah, the boobs have to be like beautiful,

11:41

like very natural fake boobs freak

11:44

me out in naked fake boobs. Not

11:46

all of them, like some of them are really good. I'm sure I don't even know

11:48

they're fake. But yeah, I haven't

11:50

masturbated the thoughts in a while. Yeah, I'm

11:52

not even doesn't that mean is that bad? I don't know,

11:54

so I mean I think I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I don't also, don't

11:56

masturbate the music. But I think as

11:58

far as sex I used to have. My nine

12:02

in Chails is my number good album.

12:05

The Downward Spiral is my number one recommendation.

12:07

After that, I would say I usually

12:09

call them jams, which is music by

12:12

black people but not like crazy rot like

12:14

like and not also I don't like, but

12:16

something like no like smooth, like something from

12:18

like the the nineties, like

12:21

nineties instrumental singing.

12:23

No black people. Oh oh

12:27

so so R and B, well,

12:29

I don't like. I don't tend to like R and B in general,

12:31

though okay, isn't R Kelly R and B. I don't

12:33

know that because I

12:37

used to when I was younger and more emotional,

12:40

put on like Radiohead right

12:42

that even if I didn't like the person, that made me like the

12:44

person, because I was like, it's like I'm in an indie movie.

12:47

Oh yeah, let's just like take out of reality

12:49

real quick, or like you want a good cry,

12:51

like when Darren Darren who was two episodes

12:54

ago, we uh we would have sex in the

12:56

back of his band all the time to like code

12:58

play in Radiohead. It was so oceanal, and

13:00

I was like, I love you my

13:03

first payment. I used to have to be used to have sex to. Like

13:05

he was a big fan of the songwriter

13:07

Jim Steinman, who wrote who wrote

13:09

most of the songs for meat

13:12

Loaf. He wrote your Bonny Tiler.

13:16

Yeah that kind of like very dramatic.

13:18

Yeah, oh that's my dude. I still I

13:21

still can't even listen to any of those songs without

13:23

getting emotional. Really, so when

13:25

I sing those in karaoke, you cry. I

13:27

mean I don't cry, and that's not going to cry

13:29

over. But yeah, I stopped listening.

13:31

I stopped having sex to music, which

13:34

is weird because I date someone who's in the music industry for

13:36

so long. But maybe that's why he doesn't want us to music.

13:38

I don't don't don't put so

13:41

much thought into it anymore. Yeah, I don't either,

13:43

But I used. I used to like light the candle, put

13:45

the thing, put them. I like my other

13:47

people do that. I like when guys like candles

13:49

and set them and ship like that. But

13:51

I don't want to have to do it. Oh. I used

13:54

to look if the guy was coming over when I was single,

13:56

and I would have guys come over and when I cleaned my room

13:58

and like Oh, I did the candle. I

14:01

put the radio like, I put iPod speakers, like all the way

14:03

in the back of my apartments wouldn't look so obvious. So

14:06

it's like we could sleep together. Look it's

14:08

all set up. Oh

14:10

look at dad, there's a candle with some

14:12

music. God, alright,

14:15

I'm excited for our guests. Me too. Let's just give them

14:17

on because we're I mean, they're sitting literally right noice to

14:19

us. One of them has no fucking shoes on, like

14:21

he's damn fucking hot

14:24

hot, like he's Jack Johnson

14:26

over here. He doesn't

14:29

even know that reference. He looked at me, like, what are we talking

14:31

about? Pocas on necklace?

14:33

Tommy, you got the arrans.

14:35

Come on, alright, we got pierced

14:38

together. Um, so we have two guests on today.

14:40

Uh, two of my closest friends in the

14:43

entire world. Uh. One, I think

14:45

I've I think I've mentioned Tommy before. I

14:47

think you have as my main gay and then

14:49

my other super good friend, Grant. I've

14:52

known them both for a long time. Probably would have

14:54

been dead, um somewhere in the

14:56

back of a gay club a long time ago without

14:58

Grant. Definitely Grant. Yeah, they

15:00

definitely grant Tommy. Tommy probably

15:02

would have just helped. Yeah, he would

15:04

have thought you were sleeping. Fun would he would have given you a blanket.

15:08

Fun fact about Tommy and I, we actually had

15:10

a failed reality TV show together, emphasis

15:14

on the failed. Um.

15:17

But yeah, and they have a lot of the

15:20

actually, besides being our friends, they actually have

15:22

a lot of uh. They have

15:24

unique backrilledge and they're both different.

15:26

But I'm gonna let them tell it personally

15:29

more just more, because I don't want to. So, guys,

15:32

crack open a line, Merita, what

15:37

I am? What you want? What

15:43

you what you want? I'm

15:46

not where humidity, I

15:49

know what I know, you know what I mean?

16:00

And we're bad right where

16:02

we have our guests, son, guys introduce yourselves

16:04

one at a time. So obviously Tommy has to go first.

16:08

We already know what about that says so

16:10

much about him, didn't say anything. Hey,

16:14

what's up my

16:20

manly boys, He's

16:23

like Diesel. Tommy starts

16:25

recording, It's like, goes down three octaves.

16:29

And that's true because I was on I was doing

16:31

sound on the set like for this school film

16:34

school, for this Vin Diesel movie, and

16:36

off off camera he'd be like, hey, guys,

16:39

and then it would be like fast and furious and he would be

16:41

like, yo, guys, are we gonna get this party

16:43

started? And I'd be like what just happened?

16:46

Well? I kind of paused for a moment because I don't know if

16:48

I should introduce myself as Tommy or Thomas.

16:51

Well wow, that was right debate.

16:53

Huh, yeah, it took a while. What do

16:55

you want to introduce yourself as? I don't know. I

16:57

mean that Tommy

17:00

Thomason goes for how long people have known you? I call you Tommy

17:02

because I've known you for eleven years

17:05

this August, and I call you Tommy

17:07

because she calls you. But

17:11

you introduce yourself in current

17:13

real life as Thomas. It's

17:16

kind of out of habit now, not because I necessarily

17:19

think about it, It's just I don't know. Or perhaps

17:21

you'd like to give your stripper name. What's

17:23

your stripper name? Well,

17:28

that's important to know. We

17:30

only have an hour, guys, come on, My

17:33

stripper name is Gavin so

17:37

Hot douche. But for you, you

17:39

can put any name on you. I think you're so attractive

17:42

called and I would be into it. Whileapsar

17:46

Bart third it's

17:50

actually because one of my first crushes

17:52

as a kid was Gavin Rod, like

17:56

the hottest guy, and I tweeted him

17:58

that the other day, like, yeah, my stripper

18:00

name is named after you, and he

18:02

didn't know reply. That's such an epic

18:05

thing to here. I would be so excited someone said

18:07

that. I mean, does Kevin Rod trust

18:09

me? I'm sure there's a stripper out of their name. Well,

18:13

yeah, naturally, not after me. There's

18:15

no honor associated with it. Not

18:17

that being a stripper is not honorful, but it's

18:19

not after me. A straight club

18:21

or gay club, it's a gay club. Oh you probably

18:24

you're so rich, so hot. I

18:26

tell Colone all the time how hot I think you are. Is

18:28

that weird? I freak you out, like, I'm not

18:30

going to try and fund you because I know it would freak you

18:33

out if you thought he wasn't hot because

18:35

I am not attractive. Well, that's because he's weird.

18:38

Yes, you're the best friend. I don't think

18:40

it's weird. I think it's odd that you look at

18:42

me and go I would never have sex

18:45

with you, because she vehemently does not. Some

18:47

of the guys that she's had sex with feel

18:50

really bad she likes. She likes

18:52

short fat guys like, oh, so that makes

18:54

me feel better about myself. But guys,

18:57

I said, I never I like fat and bearded.

19:00

Don't know where they're shortcake. Well, let's not go overend

19:03

like to fix a rupper. Yeah, and

19:05

that it's grand guys, grand

19:09

no, no, no, Grant. Grant and I are one of

19:11

our main bonds is that we both love fixed. We were

19:13

just talking about fixed rupper guys over brunch the

19:16

other day. God, I

19:18

love brunch brunch. So

19:21

Grant, tell us more about yourself. Oh

19:24

man, Well I,

19:27

um, I'm one of Quand's good friends.

19:29

I run a nonprofit organization.

19:33

Um, I'm not a

19:35

stripper, so I think Tommy and I'll

19:37

have a very different perspective, not

19:40

just a stripper. Well,

19:42

that's where he stopped. Thomas and I are very good

19:44

friends too, and that's why I love him so much, is because

19:46

he does have a lot more to offer than that. Um

19:50

No, I'm just saying I don't mean it. I

19:52

don't mean that in a negative sense. There's nothing wrong with being a

19:54

stripper, I think. Um, but I

19:56

think you're a very qualities

19:59

about one of them A PhDc

20:01

Yeah, he's a very knowledgeable

20:04

human beings. Well, you work for an organization that's

20:06

a sex that does sex research. I do. Oh

20:09

that's interesting, same guys. This is we're

20:11

sitting with the crems of the creme of the gig and Grant.

20:13

I wouldn't go that far. Grant,

20:16

what's the name of your non for profit organization? You work

20:18

for? Yoga within Reach. Yoga within Reach promote

20:20

health and wellness and underserved communities throughout New York

20:23

City with traumason sit of yoga, mindfulness

20:25

and meditation. Oh my god, Grant.

20:28

You guys, just like you know, Grant is the reason that

20:31

I have not died in a ditch many

20:34

times. And that is, like you don't you always

20:36

have one friend who like, just

20:39

make sure that he's Europe. That friend,

20:41

like their main the job

20:43

is making sure all the other friends don't die in ditches.

20:46

I'm a mama nurture caretaker everybody,

20:48

but everybody needs to have that friend that gets them into

20:51

the ditch as well. And that's that's

20:53

Tommy. Good good guy. We

20:55

were not talking about Tommy for two seconds and he

20:58

started into a little bit. He started

21:00

to sweat a little bit, and then what's

21:02

the organization that we could, and I have

21:04

walked with your the organization you volunteer

21:07

for in the Gay prid parade, that is Marriage

21:09

Quality USA. I'm a lead trainer and

21:11

I help run their phone banks usually on a weekly

21:13

basis. We don't have any octave ones at the moment,

21:16

but um, you both march

21:18

with us. Yeah, that's fine, Thomas. I hope you

21:20

can do it one year too. You know, Tommy, you'll

21:22

appreciate you have to leave him his kitchen. This is all

21:24

sell Tommy A give so much

21:26

of myself to the game. Listen, I'm gonna

21:28

sell Tommy on this right. God, body walking

21:31

in the Gay priparaidy walking in a parade

21:33

in general. You think it's like the parades

21:35

for you? You will love it? Oh

21:37

you have, you can get it? Why did oh do you not

21:39

like it? He only does it if he can do it and get

21:41

its hand. You can.

21:44

It was a gladiator outfit and

21:47

I got paid by Trojan. Oh my god,

21:50

did you really? Yeah? We we wrote around

21:52

on those um the like sandy

21:55

things with the wheels with yeah

21:59

like that were like dressed up to look like gladiator

22:02

in a nerdy mall. No,

22:05

I mean yeah, us,

22:10

and we had like shields and swords and through condoms

22:12

of people to people. Thanks

22:16

for giving back, Tommy. Okay, UM,

22:18

all right, so this is this is

22:20

something I just want to get to because I I know I'm going to forget.

22:23

We have some more serious things to talk about. But

22:25

premature ejaculation. Guys. One

22:28

of my good friends who listened to the podcast, she

22:30

was like, can you please discuss this? I

22:33

guess she's having some experience, um and she

22:35

needs help. And I think we've all experienced,

22:38

uh, premature ejaculation.

22:40

Uh men, have I have never

22:43

You've never had someone? I

22:46

have never done it myself. Have I

22:48

been with someone who has done it? Are you serious?

22:51

Or did you not know that they ejaculated?

22:53

Maybe they don't want to tell you and they just kept going because they're so hard.

22:56

Um No, because that's the

22:58

issue. That's the issue is it's how do you It's

23:01

how do you as the woman or or

23:04

man who is getting

23:07

who would be ejaculated into like,

23:10

how do you deal with someone coming too early?

23:12

And it's funny because I actually have I experienced

23:14

with this, um for any

23:17

and it's just like you know, especially for a girl. I I don't.

23:19

I can't imagine there's a girl on the planet who hasn't

23:21

experienced it unless ugly kidding

23:24

that Jeff kidding

23:26

everyone, don't, Preacher.

23:29

Ejaculation has nothing to do with your looks, has nothing

23:31

to do It has to do with I mean,

23:33

if you're really hot, you might well, I guess

23:35

maybe it doesn't. Wait, have you ever prematurely

23:37

jaculated? Grant? I have not. I've

23:39

only experienced with one guy. But but

23:42

have you never fucked anyone who

23:45

society would call attractive? I

23:49

felt like a U. I'm not sure

23:52

how to answer that. I would go maybe

23:54

for me, No, but no. It's like and

23:56

so it's funny because I'm such a such

23:58

an aggressive, critical person

24:01

in real life, but I feel like in the bedroom

24:03

actually like super nice. And I feel

24:05

like when people like, uh,

24:08

prematurely ejaculate into me, they must

24:10

be like this girl, she's gonna's gonna

24:12

go on Twitter, she's going to chat

24:14

me. And I'm not like that at all. I've never

24:17

That's just that's me. You're

24:19

not me. It doesn't even bother me. As long as

24:21

you just finger me afterwards, that's all I ask. Yeah,

24:24

finger me or go down on me. Afterwards, because that otherwise

24:26

there's gonna be an issue. I have been with guys who come

24:29

very quickly. It's not even like premature ejaculation

24:31

is more yeah, like they didn't even get it in. I find

24:33

it flattering and when they, honestly I do

24:35

too, But I don't know. I don't know. Grant is

24:38

like falling back. It doesn't have to do with that.

24:40

Or is it just like your body when you're a narcissist

24:43

as I am, it's that

24:45

is the first thing you would think of, thank you,

24:48

I've outdone myself again. That's

24:50

but the thing is like that's all. That's honestly

24:52

what I think. Yeah, I do too,

24:55

But when it's like a lot of guys, it's

24:57

like, well maybe it's I can't be that hot, Like

25:00

what do you What is what is defined

25:02

as premature ejaculation? Is it like for

25:05

play, like even like barely rubbing

25:07

or touching against each other, like like just like

25:09

grinding together like fully come.

25:11

It's not like a lot of pre come they fully

25:14

come. I mean, and you know, I think it's also

25:16

and I mean I think also the way my friend is talking

25:18

about it, I think she also means just like not being really

25:20

really not being able to let your last

25:22

long time being kind of like, as they say in ourban community,

25:25

is the one minute. Man. I

25:28

feel like there's a pretty easy fix to that. I don't know enough

25:30

about it, so I you know, I've never done

25:33

any research on or anything. Usually I have

25:35

a knowledge sponge and try to learn more about

25:38

it. But I feel like, why not just masturbated about five

25:40

times before you're gonna have a sexual But

25:42

what is time? It last longer

25:44

and longer well after after I come

25:47

like I don't stay hard, so like I

25:49

wouldn't jerk off so

25:52

how quickly after time? This

25:54

book? How often? So after

25:57

you come though, tim how often? How

25:59

long does it take until the flate? Because

26:02

some guys that they stay hard for a while, like they'll go to

26:04

the trash cancer the con way and it's still just like I

26:06

hate that because I'm like, we're done, We're are done.

26:09

I have called wrap. No, I'm like, let's keep

26:11

going, all right, good, You're I'm done. I'm

26:13

getting much done to you guys.

26:15

That's a guy. Yeah, I'm not, are you you're

26:18

I'm not like I know, like girls are supposed to have like eighty seven

26:20

orgasms when I have like what my real

26:22

orgasm is like, like, you know, powerful, good one?

26:25

I am not only am I done? Don't

26:27

touch me, don't talk. I

26:29

don't need a sucking story. Don't

26:32

know heavy cloth holding, petting.

26:35

Yeah, I'm like, there's a towel in the

26:37

closet. Off, I'm

26:40

going to go to sleep and

26:42

goodbye. Do

26:44

you get do you do you get exhausted after

26:46

you come? Oh? Yeah, I'm like right back,

26:49

Yeah, me too. I'm so tired. Sometimes

26:51

I don't. Sometimes I'm like I've gone

26:54

possibly a sandwich. Other than that, nothing

26:56

is getting done, like I have. Have you been with a guy

26:58

who's like, no, you can keep coming, keep coming,

27:00

come on, No, we're gonna make you come work, dude, I can't

27:03

people in the face. They're

27:05

so insick. Guys can be so insistent. The

27:08

thing is, sometimes they're right. I feel like with older men,

27:10

I try to trust them because I think,

27:12

in my experience, the older the young guys never

27:14

know what the funk they're doing. If you're under twenty five,

27:16

please just go away, um to

27:19

us, not to the other people. Yeah, well, I mean, you know, I wouldn't

27:22

be denning you. Just learn

27:24

and if it's a woman telling you something. Don't be like I'm

27:26

a man, I know everything, like she's telling you. I

27:28

don't tell a woman. Um.

27:30

But with the older guys like you, no, I always

27:32

am like I'm like, I'm like, you're bringing my clip up. You're

27:35

bringing my clip up. Oh my god. That was amazing.

27:37

I didn't know I could do that. It's like it's like I feel like happy

27:39

surprised, yo, yeah, because

27:41

I'm like and I've learned

27:44

just when it's an older guy, just to trust them

27:46

and I'm like, we're gonna I'm like, I'm gonna power through

27:48

this burning clip part and

27:51

then and it's kind of like I don't

27:53

know, it's kind of like in the like yeah youah, just power through

27:55

it and then it's like a new reality

27:58

exactly. That was with me. That was

28:00

me with scorting, you think you have to pee and then you fight, you like

28:02

keep going and don't

28:05

I don't know what happened? Were you want to ask it? But

28:08

with gay with gay guys and sex, it's

28:10

like, okay, when you approach somebody, do you

28:12

know what they're top or bottom? And can people be both?

28:14

Can guys both? Yeah? You can? Okay?

28:17

Is that common to be both because I feel so I

28:19

hear so many gay guys go I'm a top, I'm

28:21

about it just labeling like specifically

28:24

isolated group. I feel, yeah, you know

28:26

what, it's actually funny that you say that, because there are almost

28:28

groups within the gay community that are like, I'm a top,

28:31

I'm a bottom, and then like people joke around if

28:33

you say that, like you're versatile. Um,

28:35

it's like a ven diagram. I mean, I don't know. I feel

28:38

like they're there's so much going on in these

28:40

bodies, like why not play around with all of it? Yeah?

28:43

Um, but it's it's funny because I feel

28:45

I feel like the guys that walk around, they were like, I'm a top,

28:47

I'm a top. I don't do that. I'm a top,

28:50

Like are just insecure with their sexuality

28:52

and are like insecure with the fact that they you

28:55

know, might like to have there, but tickled

28:57

a little bit doesn't say

28:59

it. Almost seems like like they do what anybody

29:01

says. Everybody likes to have their asset. You

29:04

know what, everybody that is true. I

29:06

don't care who you are. Do

29:08

you think any do does that blanket statement

29:11

cover straight men too? You think absolutely

29:13

for sure in my experience, yes, because

29:15

Okay, the sensation of having your

29:17

butt touched has nothing to do with being

29:20

gay or that's why

29:22

straight men are like, yeah,

29:24

exactly, that's it's the same type of

29:26

thing with gay guys as being like, oh, I'm a

29:28

top, Like it's like you're higher

29:31

up on the ladder if you're a

29:33

top, more masculine. Oh so

29:36

they think they're better then. And then there's the guys

29:38

that run around there like and

29:42

you look at them and you're like, okay, yeah, wings

29:46

and glitter the very

29:48

good imitation to me to some

29:51

people are like very bottom, Like

29:53

I've talked to people are very bottom because they don't like being

29:57

the top or they don't like the other role, right

29:59

or I think it's more. I think everyone has a preference.

30:02

Yeah, I mean, but I mean some people

30:04

like being dominant, some people like being submissive.

30:06

I think that, Um, I think a lot

30:08

of it has to do with energy, because there's

30:10

just certain people that you'll like date

30:13

or hook up with or whatever that you might do some

30:15

things with it you wouldn't do with another person. And

30:18

I think that that you know, that activity

30:20

falls into the same category. I think it's the same

30:22

like and not and not to go back to the

30:24

not to be the dead horse, but with

30:28

me and the choking, like I normally like to choke

30:30

people and be dominant guys. I have a point

30:32

here, but I think in

30:35

certain cases, if I meet someone who just

30:37

like I can't imagine anything but being dominated

30:39

by them, Like, I'm cool with them choking me. Yeah,

30:42

because it's different. Every coupling is different. I'm

30:44

down with the choking, like

30:47

both being and but

30:49

it depends with every have you ever had sex where

30:51

you're both just each

30:53

other? Like what happens

30:56

if you're both dominant? Like that's called gang

30:58

initiating, that's

31:00

called hazing. That reminds me of that poster

31:03

of like the duck with the frog in its mouth and the frog

31:05

is like choking the job and it doesn't never give

31:07

up or something only only did

31:11

no one else go to the Denis in Michigan? I was like, I

31:14

was like, what ghetto was the lastic book fair?

31:16

Were you going to the ones

31:18

where I could not afford the words walldo bugs

31:20

because those were hard in And

31:24

I was like, well, one day my parents will

31:26

win the lottery and I will get those A

31:28

large wears Waldo books Side No, Tommy

31:31

owns the entire ur else Fear

31:35

Straight, Question, Fear

31:37

Straights, and I as

31:39

an adult guys as an adult, he bought these

31:42

and I have them on display on my wall. Ya

31:44

bitter much right?

31:50

I actually live in a nice part

31:52

of Manhattan and have books on my

31:54

wall. Strip

31:59

and paste. That's the exception.

32:01

Okay, how much money do you make?

32:03

Can I ask? Number number one?

32:06

I've only been stripping for like

32:08

five months, and it sucks.

32:13

So I in the beginning, I did

32:15

like it in the beginning, and now I'm working over it. Um

32:20

you know I I

32:26

my parents would have love just

32:28

keeping money for that world time doing

32:31

this. No,

32:34

you know, in the in the beginning, it was something that so

32:36

I bar attended for like ten

32:39

years and shirt off, I

32:43

mean so I started, I started bart. I've

32:48

never I've never like seen someone asked

32:50

for like a martini and then looked like they

32:52

were going to get fucking ste takes

32:55

a while because you don't want to make

32:57

the goplicated drinks. I

33:00

didn't want to open people's

33:02

beers make them drink.

33:05

I was like, it's a one, it's a one mixed

33:07

maximum. People would come up

33:09

and be like I was a black Russian

33:12

and he'd be like, do you mean a vodka cram? Can

33:15

you let email me the direction? So

33:20

um? So yeah, I mean I started

33:22

bartending fully clothed, and then I was eventually

33:24

down to just my underwork because I, you know, moved to

33:26

different clubs and bars and whatnot. You

33:30

start making more money when you get you know, more comfortable

33:32

with taking your clothes off. So I actually

33:35

I went away to study abroad doll Argentina. I came

33:37

back my job, my bartending job wasn't around.

33:39

I was planning on going away the summer to bartend, but some

33:41

other ship happened, so I was like, Okay, what can I do for

33:43

a few months to make money? I was like, I know, I

33:45

can. I can strip. Um. So

33:48

I started doing it and it was actually really fun

33:50

in the beginning because it was like a new way of expressing

33:53

my sexuality and connecting to people

33:56

and like that sounds funny, but a lot of people

33:58

that come in like are not there for

34:01

sex. They're there because they want to fucking

34:03

talk. I've made so much money

34:05

off like sitting on people's laps

34:07

and being like, tell me about how you just

34:09

cheated on your boyfriend and broke his heart and how is that home?

34:11

Crying? But well, when I've got a

34:14

straight strip clubs it kind of see. I always

34:16

see the conversation like the guy just wants a woman

34:18

to talk to him kind of things. So

34:20

maybe it's more of a we're all sad

34:23

fox, which I think is why

34:25

people like this podcast and

34:27

why we're doing the podcast. No no,

34:29

no, I'm the one listening to them talk about

34:32

how they cheated on the right. No no no no no no. You're

34:34

need someone. You're making money off of them

34:37

feeling sad and alone. So congratulations, well thank

34:39

you. I mean, well, so I got

34:43

my undergrad in psychology and I'm getting my PhD

34:45

in psycho talking about the chess muscle, so like so

34:49

so like I'm good at I'm somewhat good at listening

34:51

to people, although I'm better at talking. I

34:55

enjoy that aspect more. Um friendship

34:58

is based on eleven years of never here what

35:00

the other person has, just chop over each

35:02

other, talking at each other. I

35:05

love that you don't even hear what the other person saying. You just like listening

35:07

to yourself the time. Tommy

35:09

will be like I told you ten minutes about

35:12

what just you know, this thing that happened. I was like, I didn't

35:14

even know this happened. I didn't know because I was telling you my story about

35:16

happening to me. How that goes pretty

35:18

much, So you didn't

35:20

You started out to like it? Well, yeah, I started

35:23

out liking it, and then now it's just

35:25

kind of sad as far as the money goes. Um,

35:28

it's you know, I actually have a fun time doing it at

35:31

certain points because I'm such a jackass

35:33

about it, Like I can't even take it serious

35:35

because it's just ridiculous. Like I'll

35:37

be giving somebody a lap dance and we'll be like, oh,

35:40

you're so hot, and I'll be like, yeah,

35:42

what do you think is the hottest about? It's

35:47

so and then I

35:51

started laughing because it's so ridiculous.

35:53

It is. But those guys, if you're if you're it's

35:55

funny because like even sex, when you think about when you're

35:58

not turned on, you think about it like from a far way,

36:00

it's silly, But then when you're in it, you're like, this

36:02

is so serious. Oh my god. Yeah, But at least usually

36:04

when you're having sex, you're both in it, that's

36:06

true. Yeah, And you know it's funny because

36:08

some people consider stripping to be sex

36:10

work, and I really don't. It

36:13

wasn't sex work. Well, you're helping arouse

36:15

people, and you're they're You're they're in an environment

36:18

where they feel comfortable being aroused. Me. I can't imagine

36:20

that I arouse anyone. Um. It

36:22

is like just in these scenarios.

36:25

It is just it's just silly. But

36:27

that's a fun thing about you though, because

36:29

you are super good looking, but you're very silly, which is like

36:31

a very that's always like my favorite combo

36:34

um, except for like in the Victoria's Secret Models.

36:37

Anytime they come on the late night talk shows

36:39

and then they're like trying to make jokes and stuff, I'm like, can you shut

36:42

the funk up and let me look at your tips? I

36:45

gets so annoyed when like Heidi Klum goes on and try

36:47

to make jokes, like like you are shut

36:50

up, dude, co'n funniest person.

36:53

She makes corny jokes, corny no to

36:55

turn off? Oh god do you have

36:57

do you ever get anybody saying nasty things? You know? The shop?

37:00

Absolutely? Oh yeah, people

37:03

get fucking pissed. At you, they'll

37:05

like, they'll just start to tell you what they don't like about

37:07

you. They'll just walk

37:10

up and be like. I had

37:12

one guy walk around me the

37:14

other day like I was live stock and

37:16

then pointed out an apparent like ZiT that I

37:19

had on my back, which I believe it

37:21

was not a white head, it was like a red mark

37:23

um. And he was like, oh, you have a zip on your back.

37:25

You're disgusting. I

37:28

was like, are you are you kidding me? What did he

37:31

look like? Umma

37:33

Simpson, I mean, I know

37:36

fat chicks. I mean I just want to say, almost

37:38

post kicked that cane out of his hand when

37:40

he walked away. There

37:44

we go, all right? Um So before

37:47

we were also talking about you guys, like how everyone

37:49

makes their ass like and I wanted to ask you, I

37:51

don't know, I think maybe have

37:54

you ever have you ever had a sexual experience

37:56

with a street with a street man who

37:58

like was like either curious

38:01

or well,

38:05

because I've heard of this, are

38:08

by curious or by or curious or

38:10

they want to label it as curious because they don't want to say they're by.

38:12

I don't know what I've heard that with guys who claim they

38:14

were straight, but that's a pretty dubious

38:17

claim. I feel like they were probably

38:19

gay. Right, can guys be by if

38:21

everyone gets down on by guys

38:23

or I hear i've heard people like you, Well, everyone

38:25

assumes if a guys by gay dramatically,

38:28

but I feel like that of course people can be bisexual.

38:30

Yeah. I've never been with am

38:33

so, but I would be open to the possibility,

38:36

right, I mean, and I went too, And a lot of times that's

38:38

the something that comes up, and I like, they're

38:40

like, wouldn't you care if your boyfriend was sucking

38:43

dicks? I don't know, I really I suck

38:45

dicks. Yeah, So I get

38:47

it. I get it. I get the pretty hypocritically.

38:50

The guy that I'm dating now, he doesn't

38:53

really identify either way, but has

38:56

like dated long term with women for

38:58

long amounts of time. Um, if I

39:00

were going to label him, I would lael him as bisexual.

39:02

But he doesn't label himself because he just thinks it's silly.

39:05

Well it is silly, um, And I'm

39:07

actually starting to fall down that road too, as far

39:09

as you're just thinking that's kind of funny. I feel like when you put a

39:11

term on yourself, like oh I'm gay, I'm by I'm

39:13

straight. That you're like throwing that term out

39:15

for everyone else and not yourself, Like, who the

39:17

funk cares? I identify

39:21

as gay? But I've had sex with women. Did

39:23

you enjoy it? Yeah? Absolutely, and recently

39:25

it's not it's not their bodies

39:27

I'm disgusted by. It's their personalities usually

39:31

twins. How long did you have that one prepped?

39:34

A couple of days. I'm gonna

39:36

act like I didn't jot it down into my iPhone at the

39:38

gym, but totally I'm

39:42

yeah. No. Recently, when I was in Argentina,

39:45

I was sleeping with um, someone that I was on the

39:47

trip with the entire time, and I was

39:49

a woman. Yeah, it was a girl. You know when

39:51

in Rome or urgent How

39:55

do you even have the time in the day if you're bisexual?

39:57

I feel like i'd be having sex all Well,

39:59

that's what I and across. That's what I was going to say, is that,

40:01

like, I'm I'm in a relationship with someone who

40:04

I feel like identifies that way, but I'm

40:06

never like just with the

40:08

type of person that he is, Like I

40:10

don't worry about it and I don't question

40:13

it. And I don't like, I don't wonder

40:16

if like, oh, he's going to see some random chick on the street.

40:19

Yeah, yeah, that bullshit. But it's

40:21

all bullshit. Oh it's such a bullshit. And

40:23

we've and we've we've talked about it.

40:26

It's plenty of times. And if he was

40:28

in a situation or felt like he wanted to have sex with

40:30

a girl, we would just have a threesome. And

40:32

I'm actually totally cool with that. I don't I

40:34

would not have a threesome with a guy, but

40:37

I would with a girl. Why is that? Because

40:40

I have a beautiful cock and he does not need

40:42

a different one. Good

40:44

answers. If

40:47

I ever break, if Steven

40:49

and I ever go awry, I'm coming to you and

40:51

your boyfriends. I

40:54

mean, I don't know if it just if it was another guy,

40:56

it just seems like it would be it would

40:58

be I would feel I would definitely feel I

41:01

don't feel like it's a less

41:03

a lot. Would I feel like that would be aggressive?

41:07

Yeah, but so, but yeah, I could see it happening. Though

41:09

one guy gets sucked while I stuck an other guy's

41:11

dick. But it's just like that's like, I mean, I would think like that.

41:14

I just think of like steaks like just I don't

41:16

know, like that was just like just like a very masculine like

41:19

so much. Just

41:23

everyone's eat hair and raw meat. I

41:25

don't know, everyone turns into yeah,

41:28

or it's three of those guys with the glitter and

41:30

wings are like I thought you were a top, now you were supposed

41:32

to be a top. Let's

41:36

just watch Bride'smaids. I

41:38

have toys for those situations. Grant,

41:41

would you like to talk about the double sided dildo? Yes?

41:43

Please? I mean there's not much to tell me

41:46

about. It's a double sided. Wait

41:49

is it like recomen for a dreamship? Like you just back

41:52

up on double

41:54

I went to the hospital for a single sided black

41:57

thirteen inches on each side or total total?

42:00

Okay, So it's flexible, so

42:02

it's like a yard stick. One

42:05

is in the kitchen, the other ones in the bathroom. We can you

42:10

insert it and you like two cans and strings.

42:12

That is that's how you bump ugly good

42:16

bringing it back? Yeah, I think. And

42:19

I was like, so butts

42:22

are beautiful because smash smashing

42:24

your butt against someone else's butt turn you on.

42:26

You're getting fucked. Yeah, I mean that's

42:29

why it's wait, are

42:31

you wait? Are you on all fours? Are you on your back? When

42:33

you're doing this? You can do it

42:35

either way because it's flexible, so you can be like

42:38

on top of each other and it will bend into like a U shape.

42:41

Oh that's fun. Yeah. Is

42:44

there like a stand for it? Like? How

42:46

do you not sucking cup to the lael

42:49

like to display it like

42:52

an iPhone? Is there? Ah?

42:54

But you gotta you gotta remember you clean

42:57

it if you're going to display it. Yeah,

42:59

my mantle right next to the shotgun. Okay,

43:03

can we talk about gun control for me? Podcast?

43:06

Run podcast? Not on this podcast. I

43:09

don't use them unless it's it's

43:11

like some kind of a weird right fantasy? Is that just

43:13

make but not loaded? Yeah, and

43:16

then it'd be one of those fake ones that we needed for film school.

43:18

It was bright yellow anal

43:21

sex. You guys have it? Are

43:25

you on the bottoms? Are you both? You're

43:27

both? It depends on who

43:29

I'm dating. I can't, okay, So I like

43:31

when it works out for me, it goes

43:34

really well. But when it's painful for me,

43:36

I know a lot of women are like painful, but

43:38

I found it to be very enjoyable,

43:41

but lately I can't, lately meaning

43:43

ever since a big steph because here's a big tick. Um, I

43:46

can't. I don't know what to do

43:48

because it hurts, but I don't want it to. I wanted to get

43:50

it to the point where it doesn't hurt so I can enjoy

43:52

it. Because I actually can enjoy it. I'm not. It's

43:55

not like, yeah, I've do try it. It's not yeah,

43:57

And I'm not trying to enjoy it for him. And even if, like

44:00

I really have had anal sex that

44:02

it's very enjoyable, yeah,

44:05

ba move yeah, Like

44:08

what do you more? I mean, I guess fingering?

44:11

You know what? Popper best

44:13

friends with you? Wait what? I didn't

44:16

even I never fucking use them until

44:18

I was in fucking Real for New Year's and that

44:20

was at fucking in Real. Everybody

44:22

passes around poppers at like bars

44:24

and stuff. It's the most I've never used

44:26

them for, like a weird humble brand. I thought

44:28

it was like those things you throw down to make a gunshot sound

44:30

a little. No, it's like I

44:33

love snail polish remover and you

44:35

buy it at sex stores and you fucking sniff it when

44:37

you're gonna have anal sex that like loosens

44:39

your ass up. What it's

44:42

basically suffer

44:45

It's basically huffers, but you're trying not to

44:47

end up in the hospital like anymore what wait

44:50

wait, wait, wait, don't talk about

44:52

her because anyway than

44:55

that. Wait, so they're

44:57

not gonna get your poppers

45:01

listeners if you want to do those, but

45:04

they're they're totally

45:06

legal. You can buy them anywhere. It's basically

45:09

like you're fucking sniffing

45:11

like nail polished. No,

45:13

it makes your entire your body loosen up.

45:16

Like it makes your body loosen up. It makes you feel like you get

45:18

fucking high for a minute. It's sucking

45:20

weird, so relaxes your muscles. I've

45:23

never used it for sex, but that's what I think

45:25

it's supposed to do. I've only done it in settings where

45:27

it's like sitting around having beers and doing

45:30

poppers, which is the weirdest freaking

45:32

thing ever, Like, who does it's pretty weird? You do?

45:36

I mean sometimes we also spend Friday nights listening

45:38

to Alnis Morrisett and crying. So maybe don't

45:40

do everything that Tommy and I do. You know, I would

45:43

just like to put on the record that I do not recommend taking

45:45

any advice from as

45:49

someone that as someone that actually, please

45:52

do not take this. I got

45:54

fingering and poppers anything

45:56

else. Well, you have a dildo, right, I

45:59

do, but it's big. Well, actually got a butt plug. I

46:02

haven't used it yet. You can actually buy

46:04

butt plugs in different sizes and work your way up. Oh,

46:08

an be Anal beads.

46:10

I need show. I was actually telling my

46:13

roommate how I'm pretty a natural

46:15

as far as the sex toys good, but I'm a big fan

46:17

of the Anal beads. And every time you tell me

46:19

that, all I do is picture you like a fucking lawnmower

46:22

and somebody just grabbing like

46:30

oh like Mario,

46:33

And that is exactly how I have sex. Guys. I

46:36

mean, if anybody out there was wondering, anyone you

46:39

know I make a lawnmower, just imagine you're

46:41

doing the lawnmower alright,

46:44

um ikin. She's the type of lawnmower that breaks

46:46

down every now and you just gotta

46:48

kick alright.

46:51

Well, this will be Tommy's last podcast here,

46:55

so uh no, I want to I want to get

46:57

to make sure we have enough time to talk about this, to

46:59

be actually have something more serious to

47:01

talk about. I was having

47:04

brunch with Grant this past weekend and

47:07

Grant told me, uh, something

47:10

that was serious and not fun

47:12

to hear, and I'm sure not fun for him

47:15

to experience, but I think it's important

47:17

and we discussed it that Uh

47:20

he talked about it on the podcast because he could help

47:22

people listening or make people feel less confused

47:24

or less scared. Uh So if you

47:26

want to tell us a little bit about that, I

47:30

do, And yeah, we're gonna have to take a little I'll

47:32

be fine most likely, but um, it'll

47:34

be a little aproch, a little break from the levity

47:36

and humor for a minute. Um, I wish I

47:38

could kill the piano right now. I'm

47:43

about to cry already. I don't even know what we're gonna say. Well,

47:45

I was recently potentially exposed

47:48

to HIV, so we're

47:50

going to talk about the precautions

47:53

I took after learning this, and

47:56

um, I also brought a little bit of information and

47:59

some figures and statistics on HIV

48:01

and AIDS that I just want to share with everyone because

48:03

I think it's really important. If we're going to have this discussion

48:06

because I love it because Grant is very much like a part of our

48:08

crew in that like he'll like get wasted and like, you

48:10

know, bring home a tryanny. Sometimes I'm

48:12

sorry a transvestite. I'm sorry I have

48:14

offensive trans person. What

48:16

are we saying these days? Thomas? Trans sexual?

48:19

Okay, trans sexual? But

48:21

you are super prepared. But he was like, he was

48:23

like, I prepared information. I brought

48:26

my laptop. I'm like you, I

48:28

think this is awesome. So yeah, I just wanted

48:30

to discuss it in the proper context and in

48:33

the most informed way possible for the

48:35

benefit of everyone listening. It's

48:37

not too much information, it won't take too much time. You guys,

48:39

please feel free to interrupt in chime in. I think

48:41

you'll probably find a lot of these statistics pretty

48:44

interesting with like what magic Johnson jokes. No,

48:50

No, I love Grant because like because

48:52

like we're like eating it. And he was just like, well

48:54

see you soon, you know, like if I'm not dead, yeah,

48:58

that's my buddy. Yeah,

49:01

but if you have HIV, it's not a

49:03

death sentence. No, it's not exposed

49:06

HIV. Don't have each IV to be correct,

49:08

right, Well, I don't know yet. Most likely

49:10

I do not, because the transmission rate

49:12

is relatively low for a single event.

49:15

Um. But you know, I think

49:18

just to start off, I just want to start with the basics,

49:20

because I feel like your listenership

49:22

is probably a little more educated given

49:25

the audience that you're reaching and what you discussed every week

49:27

here. But all

49:33

right, but okay, so just to be on the safe side,

49:35

the basics. You know, HIV is

49:37

the human immuno deficiency virus UM.

49:40

It's a virus that causes AIDS, which is

49:42

acquired immuno deficiency syndrome. It's

49:45

a condition that results in the progressive failure

49:47

of the immune system and eventually can

49:49

lead to life threatening opportunists, opportunistic

49:52

infections and cancers. UM. I just want

49:54

to throw one one thing in there. UM.

49:56

I were actually work in HIV research

49:58

as well. I work at the Center for CHIV Educational

50:00

Studies and Training as a research assistant.

50:03

And a lot of people do not realize that there is a difference

50:05

between HIV and AIDS. It

50:07

is two different things. They are not interchangeable.

50:10

That's so amazing to me that people still don't know that, because I

50:12

think that's one of the first things that I learned.

50:14

I think that there there's a lot of stuff

50:17

that even me because I've been working at this organization

50:19

for almost two years now, and there's a ton

50:21

of stuff that I just don't like, did

50:24

not know, and the people do not tell

50:26

you. And it's like even in the even in

50:28

this time period of sex and and everything,

50:30

like the sex is not

50:33

awful. I even took it as a college

50:35

class and I was like, are you kidding me? They were

50:37

like describing herpes and ganarrha as gross.

50:40

I was like, well, in a class

50:42

in a college classroom made up of mainly

50:45

minorities that are most highly affected

50:48

by those differ I think

50:50

that's one of the most important things is that people

50:52

tend to be very alarmist and um,

50:55

you know, really you don't have to be afraid. You just need

50:57

to educate yourself and be informed

50:59

and take the necessary precautions. And if you're in

51:01

New York City, there are tons of everywhere

51:05

where, like you can go in and drop your pants

51:07

and spread your whole and like nobody's even gonna

51:09

blinks, like let's

51:12

look at like it's nothing to be embarrassed.

51:14

Assholes that day, like they don't your

51:17

asshole it's not It is nothing

51:19

to be embarrassed of. It is something that you need

51:21

to go and get looked at in any

51:23

aspect of your life, whether it's like HIV,

51:26

AIDS, S c d S, or like you're

51:28

coughing a ton or like whatever, you just go to

51:30

the doctor, like, go get yourself taken

51:33

care of. Well, this is the thing. This

51:35

is an anti section, I mean podcast, And I think the shame

51:37

is not only hurtful, it's dangerous

51:40

because we especially in America, we feel ashamed

51:42

of things, which causes us to not go get

51:44

help, not ask questions, and then you're

51:46

fucking sitting sitting on your cock

51:49

and it has sores on it, and then you're similar.

51:53

Yeah. Well, I mean, if we're gonna talk about this more

51:55

whenever, I sort of share the experience of what happened

51:58

to me. But you know, even I felt that, and

52:00

I feel like I'm more knowledgeable than most people on

52:02

the subject matter. Yeah, and you know,

52:04

I certainly I think people can be overwhelmed

52:06

with that. I think that they can think if they

52:09

engage in high risk behavior that they're deserving

52:11

of that and won't seek treatment because

52:13

they feel like they need to be punished. But

52:16

you know, people do think that they do. And

52:18

because yeah, because even you have said to me, you're like, you know, I you

52:20

know, you said, like, I you know, it was my fault. I made a bad

52:23

decision. I mean, like we we've

52:25

I think everyone would assume responsibility, but

52:27

don't get caught up in that. Everyone is allowed

52:30

some funk ups and it just so

52:33

happen. It happens that you had an

52:35

unfortunate repercussion because of yours,

52:37

but it's certainly it's not. You know, I

52:40

have constantly like talking the podcast, like I

52:42

got drunk and I did this, Like that's not great.

52:44

I'm not saying that was good, But that does not mean that

52:47

we are deserving of bad things

52:49

happening. Well, I mean exactly. I mean there's there's certain

52:51

behaviors that would increase your chances of catching

52:54

the flu or getting cancer, and you know,

52:56

no one would blame someone for engaging

52:59

any behavior like that. So I think, you know, the same

53:01

attitude should be taken with this UM.

53:03

But just to continue on UM. HIV

53:07

is a sexually transmitted infection. It occurs through

53:09

the transfer of blood, semen, vaginal fluid,

53:12

pre ejaculate and breast milk. Without

53:14

treatment, the average survival time after

53:16

infection is nine to eleven years. However,

53:19

you should note that with treatment

53:21

and modern anti retroviral therapies,

53:23

most HIV positive people now can

53:25

expect a completely normal life expectancy.

53:29

UM. You know, I think most people would be surprised

53:31

to realize that several other chronic conditions,

53:33

like type two diabetes, result in a dramatically

53:35

shorter life expectancy than HIV. UM.

53:39

All of that beings said, it's extremely important to understand that

53:41

for the vast majority of the HIV life cycle, those

53:43

infected with the virus will be asymptomatic,

53:45

meaning that they don't present with any symptoms.

53:48

So it's crucial to be tested regularly. If you engage

53:50

in high risk behaviors such as having unprotected

53:52

sex, especially unprotected anal

53:54

sex, it's the highest risk behavior, um,

53:57

whether you're gay or straight and you

54:00

know, lushtraight people have anal sex and it's

54:02

like because the terrors and

54:05

it's a membrane like but well,

54:07

and especially if you're the receptive

54:09

partner, if you're the bottom, that's the highest rist

54:11

activity um, you

54:14

know, and just with any disease, it's crucial. Early detection

54:16

and treatment are critical. But UM I also

54:18

brought along a few statistics just

54:21

so we can kind of place this in

54:23

context and get a sense of the scale of the epidemic.

54:25

I'm going to kind of start with global statistics and then

54:28

work down to local statistics here in New

54:30

York City at the table. UM.

54:42

So, currently thirty four million people

54:44

are living with HIV AIDS throughout the world. Approximately

54:48

two point five million people are infected

54:50

with HIV each year. What do

54:52

you say HIV AIDS. Do you mean

54:54

that they have AIDS throughout

54:56

the entire life cycle? That means they're

54:58

either HIV positive or have progressed

55:01

to the point of having UM.

55:04

You know, more than thirty million people have died from AIDS

55:07

since the epidemic began. UM.

55:09

In the United States, more than one

55:11

point one million people are living with HIV

55:14

AIDS. Half of those living with HIV

55:16

are not in regular care, and less than

55:19

of those living with HIV have an undetectable viral

55:22

load, which will discuss a little bit later, which is important.

55:25

Approximately one in five people

55:27

infected with HIV do not know they

55:29

have it. That's roughly two thousand

55:32

people in the United states. Yeah,

55:37

everybody grinder. Um,

55:39

the entire population spreading

55:41

if they don't know they have it. Repercussions

55:43

of that is it spreads and it spreads and it spreads. Um. There

55:46

are roughly fifty new HI infection

55:48

HIV infections every year. Men

55:50

who have sex with men account for a little over

55:52

sevent of those infections,

55:55

So the gay community is disproportionately affected.

55:58

The remaining is comprised

56:00

of heterosexuals and intervened to drug users,

56:03

which is not a negligible amount. So you know, anyone

56:06

who thinks that this is a gay problem, um,

56:09

I would read a book. Yeah, I would reconfront

56:12

those or pray serious,

56:14

you know, the Lord will help. Do you look

56:18

at me again, kidding me? Do

56:21

you have statistics? They're in the highest um

56:23

highest growing like age brackets

56:26

and stuff like that. It's actually the younger age practice

56:28

it's gay, man, It is the youngest age

56:30

like it's nine, I think, um, I

56:32

thought it was like eighteen. Somewhere within

56:35

their in your twenties is the highest

56:37

growing rate of HIV infection.

56:40

And I think a lot of that, again has to do with sex

56:42

ed but with the medicine

56:45

and people. I mean there

56:47

I think there's that it can't happen to me thought. I also

56:49

think that there's just the thought process of oh, it's

56:51

not that big of a deal. Yeah, well we think

56:54

I think we I think we think. You know, in the in the in the

56:56

as and nineties, big AIDS was

56:59

in our face, was everywhere. It was. It was in

57:01

the nineties. I think it was at the time when we were like all talking

57:03

about a fucking you know rap TLC's

57:06

you know, talking about it, singing about it. But I think

57:08

now it's kind of like, let we don't talk about

57:10

it as much, like it's not something that's

57:13

happening. It was a death sentence at first, but now

57:15

for medical advancement and healthcare technology,

57:18

you know, it's exactly so like you talked

57:20

about alarmist, like America's America loves

57:22

whatever is the tragedy, and

57:24

you know, so it's not because maybe you

57:27

can be you can be living with AIDS now instead

57:29

of you have AIDS bye bye.

57:31

You wrote rant that was cool. So if if

57:33

you're if a partner, if you're with somebody,

57:35

I've heard of couples and I listen to a Dance

57:37

Savage podcast a lot. He talks about this. People

57:40

who are paused, who are positive with HIV, you can

57:42

still be in a relationship and take certain

57:44

steps with a person who is not infected.

57:47

It doesn't mean they're for fun. You should stay

57:49

away from them. There did you just educate yourself and take

57:51

those steps. Tommy and I can both talk about

57:53

more about that if you want a little bit later on about Sarah discording

57:55

couples and everyone's HIV

57:58

and a zero disc goordon couples

58:00

a couple or one is positive and one is negative or

58:03

magnetic couples. I like that term. I

58:06

think that's cute, positive and negatives. But

58:10

I was like, more than ones cost like pushing

58:13

the other one away because you have eight that

58:17

we're saying, don't do that. Okay,

58:20

So, just to finish up, more than six hundred

58:22

thousand people have died from age related causes

58:24

since the started the epidemic here in the United States. In

58:27

New York State, approximately hundred and

58:30

nine thousand people are living with HIV AIDS.

58:32

In New York City alone, the figure is one

58:34

hundred thousands, so we're about that

58:37

um. The same one in five ratio applies

58:39

that people who are infected with HIV, but don't realize

58:42

it, and that would amount to twenty thousand people

58:44

in New York City. Um,

58:46

there are roughly four thousand new HIV

58:49

infections every year in New York State, and

58:51

today roughly one hundred thousand New Yorkers

58:53

have died from age related causes. So,

58:56

guys, every time you go to a bar, you are playing

58:58

roulette with your vagina. Everyone

59:00

to know always protection, protection, protection

59:03

condoms, birth control doesn't, doesn't

59:06

adventage rights break. I

59:08

think this is modest communication to communication,

59:10

and I think it's very interesting and hoping that they're

59:13

being honest. But he was an interesting and I think this

59:15

is grant can it can talk about

59:17

communication because I think communication and your experience

59:19

was really the key. Yeah. I mean that was definitely

59:21

my biggest mistake. And alcohol abuse. Yeah,

59:27

what what we're your specific circumciances.

59:29

Um. So this this occurred

59:32

three weeks ago. I was actually out with

59:34

Thomas and we had

59:37

not Tommy, Yeah,

59:39

we're getting serious. Now we're getting serious. Was

59:41

out with Gavin and Gavin was like, yeah,

59:44

bro, I'm gonna go home. Thomas

59:47

is here. Um, so

59:50

you know, we had dinner with a lovely night and

59:53

we went to Dallas Bbq's

59:57

like the beginning of how how

1:00:00

long hasn't been since he went on? Like a

1:00:02

nice day that like we we go out to dinner

1:00:04

and have like Dallas BBQ with a bunch of people, and

1:00:06

you're think it was a lovely dinner thing

1:00:09

too long because I just got out of an

1:00:11

almost two year relationship and I haven't been

1:00:13

seeing anyone. So I'm sorry

1:00:16

you want that was

1:00:18

BBQ? Was always fun though, if you if you live in

1:00:20

the New York City area, Okay,

1:00:23

that was weird. More sponsors,

1:00:25

but I would after the podcast,

1:00:29

um, you know. So after that, we went out to a

1:00:31

bar and then I ended up meeting up with some friends

1:00:34

at The Eagle later on, which I was just completely

1:00:36

smashed by that point. That is a gay

1:00:39

place. Yeah, The Eagle is the leather

1:00:41

gay bar here in New York City. I

1:00:44

think you invited me to go, and I was like, I'm

1:00:46

gonna pass. Have.

1:00:49

My favorite thing about the Eagle is the burgers

1:00:52

they make outside. The they make food. I

1:00:54

don't even know they no,

1:00:57

no, no, they don't. They have a little vendor outside.

1:00:59

There was a little no woman who crumbles potato

1:01:01

chips on top of your It's

1:01:04

the best burger I've ever had. And I believe if

1:01:06

you go on the right night, there are people that hang

1:01:08

out under where the bar is and we'll lick

1:01:10

your boots while you ordered drinks. Oh

1:01:12

yeah, I mean they'll do more than that if you have

1:01:15

a lot of questions for those people. Was

1:01:22

the Eagle? Uh so yeah, I mean, long

1:01:24

story short. Um, I ended up going home with

1:01:26

a guy, which you know I didn't. You know,

1:01:29

the end of the night kind of becomes very fuzzy for me.

1:01:31

So the next day I woke up next to this dude

1:01:34

and I was naked,

1:01:37

and one thing led to another and we just started

1:01:39

fooling around and you know, next

1:01:42

thing, I know what, the guy's riding my cock. How

1:01:46

I've never seen said,

1:01:50

Oh tell me more. Um.

1:01:53

So, you know I didn't ejaculate,

1:01:56

like you know, I stopped it before I progressed to that point.

1:01:58

I just kind of finished myself off. Um,

1:02:00

Christina, ejaculate means calm. But

1:02:03

do you think I don't know that she's

1:02:06

not mentally challenged. Thanks,

1:02:11

We're gonna get ladder about that. Sarah

1:02:15

Palin is riding in on hour. Um.

1:02:19

So you know, anyway, after the fact, he

1:02:21

kind of, um, you know, after we

1:02:24

had finished, he just made kind of a strange

1:02:26

remark to me, and he was like, oh, I thought you were wearing

1:02:28

a condom, which kind of set off alarm

1:02:30

bells in my head because I'm like, dude, I woke up naked

1:02:33

next to you, Like, where the funk am I pulling a condom

1:02:35

from? Um? Yeah?

1:02:37

So, I mean, you know, which, he was a very nice guy, like,

1:02:39

I don't think he intended for this to happen in anyway.

1:02:43

Um well, I mean, truthfully, I mean it's just as

1:02:46

much mine. You pretty much have to be like attempted

1:02:48

murder for me to not give you the benefit of the doubts.

1:02:51

But um,

1:02:54

but you know, I think he you know, I don't think

1:02:56

it was intention for that to happen. And you

1:02:59

know, I felt for it was just a momentary

1:03:01

lapse in judgment, like I hadn't had sex in

1:03:03

a long time. I was, yeah, you're in are

1:03:05

in that that that post monous

1:03:09

relationship? So you had topped yes,

1:03:11

So which also drastically reduces my

1:03:14

chances of drastically,

1:03:17

I mean it does, but well I actually have information

1:03:19

on that too, as far as like per sexual event

1:03:22

um with the likelihood of viral transmission

1:03:24

is you know, depending on what type of behavior engaging

1:03:27

in. And because you didn't ejaculate, that also

1:03:30

lessons your risk, right, But I'm

1:03:34

surprised, but not but not substantially

1:03:37

like I wouldn't. I wouldn't count

1:03:39

why because could like

1:03:41

open around

1:03:44

his anus and especially if not

1:03:46

not, but it would have to go, it would have to go in

1:03:49

Not as much as if you're in the insertive partner, but if you're

1:03:51

the receptive partner, there's definitely a large difference

1:03:54

if you don't ejaculate into no,

1:03:56

no, no, that's what I'm talking about as the insertive

1:03:58

as the angle insertive person, it does make a difference. Not

1:04:00

as much, it can not

1:04:04

a little bit. Yeah, it's not not it's a negligible

1:04:06

difference. Um, you know, so

1:04:10

basically after this happened, you know, I had a discussion with

1:04:12

this guy and you know, right after

1:04:14

I you know, whenever, if you're ever exposed

1:04:17

to HIV, whether it's through a

1:04:19

condom break or whether it's a mistake

1:04:22

or you know, even if it's on the job, if it's

1:04:25

occupational exposure and it's a needle

1:04:27

print, your boss is like you need to fund

1:04:29

me. UM.

1:04:33

I mean you should

1:04:35

treat it as a medical emergency. UM.

1:04:38

You know, luckily in New York there are a lot of resources to go

1:04:40

to. But you can go to the emergency room and be treated. You

1:04:42

can go to an urgent care facility and be treated. UM.

1:04:45

I went to Klan Lord, which is

1:04:47

a UM community health center

1:04:49

here in New York. He

1:04:53

told me, yes, you know. After yeah,

1:04:55

we started talking, he told me, UM.

1:04:58

Luckily too, he was also on antiretroviral

1:05:02

therapy, which drastically reduces

1:05:04

my chances of UM. Was

1:05:07

he undetectable? See that? I don't

1:05:09

know. I can't really depend on that. You know, I don't

1:05:11

know the guy. This is the only time I've

1:05:14

been had any sort of interaction with him. Can

1:05:16

you tell everybody what undetectable

1:05:19

means? Undetectable

1:05:21

whenever you are It's basically

1:05:24

the amount of virus

1:05:26

that is in your blood.

1:05:29

UM. You know, they do

1:05:31

PCR testing, which will can

1:05:34

you know, it's very sensitive. It can determine it

1:05:36

can isolate the RNA strand

1:05:38

of the HIV virus down to like

1:05:41

twenty parts per millent

1:05:43

leader of blood. So if you fall below that

1:05:46

threshold I believe, which is twenty parts permillent

1:05:48

leader. UM, you are

1:05:50

considered undetectable, so which

1:05:53

you know, they've done studies now where four

1:05:56

people who are undetectable over the course

1:05:58

of two years having unprotected sects with

1:06:00

their partner, UM, there has been no

1:06:02

transmission of the virus. So but

1:06:05

I mean it's you know, that does not mean

1:06:07

go out and want

1:06:09

it's not UM. So

1:06:12

you know, you still to take the necessary

1:06:14

precautions. If you, you

1:06:16

know, are in a relationship with someone who is positive,

1:06:19

definitely speak to your health care for power. Yeah,

1:06:22

knowledge is power, knowledge is power, education

1:06:25

whatever whatever, UM. So

1:06:28

basically, you know what happened with me is I

1:06:30

went to Calan Lord, Calan Lord. Sorry,

1:06:32

and they were, um, you know, they were really

1:06:34

great. It was very comfortable environment. I didn't feel

1:06:37

judged in any way. And that's

1:06:39

the key thing. I think a lot of times we we feel

1:06:41

like we're gonna go Number one, who

1:06:43

the funk cares with these people? The most important thing is

1:06:45

that you get the help in the care that yeah, you need

1:06:48

for your body. But number two, I think a lot of

1:06:50

times yet these are these are professionals

1:06:52

the same way as whatever occupation you

1:06:54

do, how you're used to seeing or hearing twenty

1:06:57

stories like that. It's just it's just it's you know,

1:06:59

it's not big deal to them. It's textbook

1:07:01

today. It's text about thing they were trained, but in

1:07:03

a positive way, and they want to help

1:07:05

you. I mean, you know, that's why they're there, That's why they're

1:07:09

like that. This is not big money making. I

1:07:11

can't imagine, like it's maybe in small towns and you

1:07:13

go to like a local doctor in some like small

1:07:16

time then look at you sideways and goes

1:07:18

out as a whole.

1:07:22

I remember when I was in I think I was like

1:07:24

a sophomore in high school and I went to get in

1:07:26

a s c D test and this was the middle of Michigan,

1:07:28

and they treated me like I

1:07:31

was in saying like what were

1:07:33

you doing that you need an

1:07:36

STD test? And I was like, I

1:07:38

have blue cross, blue shield. Can

1:07:40

you just stuff that Q tip up my urethra?

1:07:43

There's anything going on, because that's what they were doing at the time.

1:07:46

It wasn't just the like you pan a cupnet before terribly

1:07:49

just like showing up your thing. I had.

1:07:52

I had asked for an STD test from my going

1:07:54

to college and the first time I got an

1:07:56

STD test. They still have the publics

1:07:58

in New York sometimes the

1:08:02

like pipe cleaner. Yeah, you asked

1:08:04

for an STD test if no one's offered you one, fucking

1:08:07

asked for one, if you've had unprotected sex with

1:08:09

We're getting low on time, Yeah,

1:08:12

I want to make sure that you have the last

1:08:15

words of what you wanted. Um, well,

1:08:17

how much time do we have left? Like two minutes? Oh

1:08:20

my god, I have so much more to talk about. But

1:08:22

basically, long story short. You know, as

1:08:24

a matter of precaution, I went on UM

1:08:28

PEP or PEP, which is anti

1:08:30

retrobiole therapy UM in

1:08:33

the event that you experienced exposure

1:08:35

to HIV. It's a combination of two drugs.

1:08:37

Now, the most commonly prescribed are true

1:08:40

Vada and I Centrists, which I have

1:08:42

been on for the past three weeks. Um.

1:08:45

You know, at first I did, you know.

1:08:47

I will say there were

1:08:50

some pretty challenging side effects with me. At

1:08:52

first, I didn't have a very sensitive stomach, so I was experiencing

1:08:54

a lot of nausea and I was, you know, very concerned

1:08:56

that I was going to throw up a dose UM.

1:08:59

And it's very partant that you're very regulated and you

1:09:01

know, take every dose on time as prescribed

1:09:04

UM in order for it to be effective.

1:09:07

So UM, you know, but luckily I

1:09:10

have you know, friends who've gone through this experience.

1:09:12

A great friend of mine, you know, recommended that eat ice

1:09:14

cream and that really sort of help with that. I'm

1:09:16

still yeah,

1:09:19

it's like, UM, it's still experiencing

1:09:22

a lot of fatigue and drowsiness,

1:09:24

which is one of the side effects. UM.

1:09:27

But well

1:09:29

I had my initial you know, they initially

1:09:32

they'll do UM. Just to briefly

1:09:34

talk about HIV testing, they do a rapid

1:09:36

test because they have to know that you're negative

1:09:39

before you can go on antiretrobiotherapy

1:09:42

UM. And with rapid testing, it's

1:09:44

important for everyone to know that UM.

1:09:46

You know, that's anybody testing. So typically

1:09:49

you do not develop anybody it's to an infection

1:09:51

UM until after three months

1:09:54

of exposure to HIV. So the vast

1:09:56

majority of testing is UM anybody

1:09:59

testing. So whenever you receive that negative result,

1:10:01

it's not negative from that day, it's negative from

1:10:03

three months ago, ninety days prior. UM.

1:10:07

Yeah, and then they do blood work and do a

1:10:10

viral load test, which is typically a PCR test,

1:10:12

and um, you

1:10:14

know that those results usually take I think one to two weeks.

1:10:17

So they do a baseline test, I go through my twenty

1:10:19

eight days of medication, and then they do another test

1:10:21

at the end of that, and then I'll have my final results

1:10:24

as to whether I'm you know my status.

1:10:26

Yeah, what's the viral load test? Is

1:10:28

that? Um, it's it's blood work. I

1:10:31

mean, it's just an HIV test. It's actually viral load

1:10:33

means like how much. Yeah, it's measuring the actual

1:10:35

viral load in your blood. And I

1:10:38

think it's uh parts permillent

1:10:40

leader, I want to say, right, And I think this is very

1:10:43

uh not only it's important.

1:10:45

I think it's interesting. I think it's something that not enough

1:10:47

people know about. People need to be at So we're

1:10:49

we'll keep you updated if you know mine,

1:10:51

Grant will keep the listeners updated and just

1:10:54

kind of like through the process and we'll pass on some

1:10:56

more information. Will post information on our Twitter certainly

1:11:00

if you have your own question, not that we're

1:11:02

AIDS experts or HIV experts, but if

1:11:05

you need to find information

1:11:07

or if you want to just send you any of this information,

1:11:09

we'd be more than happy to. Sorry, about last night show

1:11:11

at gmail dot com. Um, yeah and yeah,

1:11:14

sorry, Well have you guys on again because this was super informative.

1:11:17

Do you have any clue? I just

1:11:19

want to say one thing since it is UM

1:11:22

Pride month and Pride coming up here in New York,

1:11:24

and I think it's super important,

1:11:27

um, you know, for anyone who may be listening

1:11:30

that is in the closet or struggling

1:11:32

with your sexual orientation or gender identity.

1:11:35

You know, if there is one thing I kind of hope

1:11:37

you take away from this podcast and listening

1:11:40

tonight, I just want you to know that you are loved

1:11:42

and there's an entire community

1:11:44

of people out there straight allies

1:11:47

included like Current and Christina who

1:11:50

will support you and guide you and

1:11:53

care about you. And I just hope

1:11:55

you find the courage to be proud of yourself and

1:11:58

love who you are and come out so

1:12:00

you can be the person that you're

1:12:02

meant to be. And I think that's something that we we

1:12:04

stand for on the podcast as well, not only about

1:12:07

being gay, but about anything that you think is weird or

1:12:09

different or that you are ashamed of that is part

1:12:11

of who you are, UM, not like if you're a murderer.

1:12:13

But anything other than that, anything

1:12:15

like that, any sexual preference

1:12:18

or U turn on or anything

1:12:20

about that, that's a celebrated humans.

1:12:22

And that's why we're here. We're talking about you open issues,

1:12:24

and thank you so much, guys. Thank you Tommy,

1:12:27

thank you Grant for sharing like really interesting

1:12:30

and important and real

1:12:33

issues like these are. These are not things that off

1:12:35

the street. These are like my real friends and

1:12:39

this is just what we're going through. Uh. And also

1:12:41

I want you guys to tweet Tommy at Larry

1:12:43

the Llama eight four. I

1:12:46

just have one comment before we end as

1:12:48

a stripper, I one time threw up on someone

1:12:50

projectile, so

1:12:53

maybe we can hear that I Part two. Thank

1:12:57

you so much for listening to guys. We fund the Anti

1:12:59

Slutch Shimming podcast and hopefully we'll see

1:13:01

you at Call Mix and a Fox. Yes see you

1:13:03

next week. I love you, goodbye. I love you