0:00

Welcome to Guys We Fucked Guys

0:03

We Guys Book. I'm

0:05

Christina, I'm Corenn. We're sorry about

0:08

last night anti sludge shaming

0:10

podcast. I never stopped.

0:15

Hello, everybody, Welcome to another episode

0:17

of Guys We Fund the Anti slug shaming

0:19

Podcast. I'm Krinn. We're

0:22

here. We've been talking for a long

0:24

time. We've been together

0:26

since five currently.

0:30

If you're curious, some people like when do you record?

0:32

It's eight pm, and I

0:34

swear to god, it's like I just took a Nike while I'm

0:36

so fucking tired. It's so I am an old

0:39

lady, so awake right now because I had

0:41

a cup of coffee, which I never drink, so

0:43

I'm like a crazy

0:46

Wow. Yeah that's fun. I still want to see you

0:48

high. I can try. Yeah,

0:50

can you try again? Can that? Can that Christmas present

0:52

or birthday? Yeah? I'll actually I want to get

0:55

high. That this is yeah, that was I'm

0:57

good by my word. I will smoke into

1:00

like get hot. We should record it just to see

1:02

if there's anything good. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to,

1:04

well, I think it should be. I'm hilarious

1:06

when I'm my we could we could record

1:08

audio video, maybe both, I don't know whatever,

1:10

maybe not, but I don't know. We'll see to it.

1:13

I'm okay, good. That's all I need to know is

1:15

that you're willing listen. One of the best nights of my life

1:17

was the night I took mushrooms alone. Now

1:20

I want to do that. That's the This

1:22

is so funny. We're in autobiography, are late

1:24

twenties that we've never experimented with drugs,

1:27

and I don't recommend you know, do it safely.

1:29

If you're going to do it. People have been altering

1:31

their self subconscious minds with drugs

1:33

since the fucking beginning of

1:35

time. You sound like Jonesy right now, Well, but

1:38

I do. I mean Terence McKenna

1:40

and here. I've seen some documentaries,

1:42

and I've also seen documentaries about how the

1:45

truth behind drug laws and how they're extremely

1:48

racist. Yeah, I mean obviously, but

1:50

like one of the first drug drugs to be out lot

1:52

in the United States was opium because the Chinese

1:54

people were forced to come here and build

1:56

the railroads, and then the Americans were like

1:59

jes run, so let's make opium illegal because

2:01

they all smoke it. Like druggles are

2:04

they're racist, and they're also funnest.

2:06

They don't want to they don't want to say fun.

2:09

Hashtag can't have too much

2:11

fun because then you don't want to. You'll

2:13

be happy and success and and

2:15

then you can't be It's harder to control happy

2:17

people. Oh it's way harder. S

2:21

God, America, we still disappointed. Solved

2:23

everything? Well

2:25

what wow? What

2:28

what? What? Yes? So Nacho

2:31

bitches happened so much fun

2:34

on Friday night. Christina

2:36

was there, she Jeff was there,

2:38

she watched, she performed. It was

2:40

great, she did all. She was the Benjamin

2:42

Franklin of bitches. Um

2:46

and uh it was and we were

2:48

We changed to a new later time. So thanks to the

2:50

fuckers who came Kyle and h

2:53

oh yeah and the two friends

2:55

from Cranford, New Jersey, which is right next to

2:57

the Union. It was so exciting. Yeah, you guys

2:59

were awesome. Stabby family, you guys were awesome. You were

3:01

the best laughers. Thank you so much. It was

3:03

a new later time, so I was a little bit stressed

3:05

about pulling people there. So it was like

3:07

literally like ten fifteen minutes

3:10

to showtime. I'm like texting everyone. A

3:12

lot of people came last minute, and one

3:14

of the people who lives right by New York Comedy Club was

3:16

my old funk buddy Matt, who

3:19

has been on an earlier episode. I

3:21

hope under that name now that he's the name,

3:23

right, I had no idea.

3:26

We totally did. He's sometimes yeah,

3:28

and and he

3:30

had we had We've been, you know, in touch and stuff, but we haven't

3:32

really seen each other. I don't. I don't

3:35

think we've seen since that. I guys, I don't think.

3:37

But we've been, we've been in touch. And he's really

3:39

a huge man of doing and he's a great,

3:41

wonderful person and I kind of love him because he

3:43

connects me to that old time in my life when I

3:45

was, you know, in the rage and

3:48

yeah, I was in the management business and I

3:50

was going to open bar places and I was like

3:53

a career woman, I could stop you but

3:55

on James Candafoenie's shoulder. Yeah, And it's a different

3:57

way. So that was fun. And then so

4:00

I kind of like I was going to booty text him

4:02

later that night anyway,

4:04

because I was there and I was I was DTF,

4:07

but I was like, oh, I kind

4:09

of needs a warm Bonnie in my audience

4:12

so I was like, hey, do you also want to I just comped him to the

4:14

show, and I was like, do you almost want to see a free compe show?

4:17

Nothing says give me your dick, Like, so

4:20

he came buy himself gudbuses. So I love a

4:22

man who can promiseee a show, But him saying, no, who

4:24

can entertain himself and take care of himself.

4:27

He says that. I was like, I was like, I can compet it

4:29

still by two drinks. He bought six because he's my type

4:31

of guy. Six sixperience,

4:34

not six six cocktails.

4:37

Not for enough for an eye, I guess, and

4:40

I'd be having a seizure. Also, you have to keep

4:42

you give to keep in mind anyone who's behind the scenes

4:44

in the entertainment business can drink more than anyone

4:47

in front of the like I've never

4:49

met when I was when I was in management,

4:52

no one could drink like the managers in the agent

4:54

because no one is a fun weight. We look like fucking

4:56

drink you can get bloated. It was it

4:58

was beyond it was just fun can like. It

5:01

was like it was just that mentality. It's like someone who's

5:03

an Asian manager has just is so fu are

5:06

on entourage, Like that is exactly

5:08

how agents are. Um.

5:10

Yeah, so he did it, and the whole night, Blair and

5:12

I on stage are like basically like saying,

5:15

like, you guys are gonna sunk. He was so cool about it. And

5:17

then we went and Matt yeah and fucked and it

5:19

was awesome at his place and I felt like even

5:21

I told because he owns he owns

5:23

an apartment. As

5:26

fun, it's well, but it has character.

5:29

It was fucking amazing, and it was just so nice to

5:32

have to connect with someone who was in a comedian.

5:34

I love comedian. Normal people are the

5:36

best sometimes, but he's not a normal person. He's still

5:38

in the entertainment. That's true, but

5:41

yeah, it's just so nice. Like I hung out with my

5:43

best friend Melissa the other day for a birthday and they were all a bunch

5:45

of lawyers. I'm like, thank god, I have to talk

5:47

about law well, because you first, I first.

5:49

Sometimes I forget that there are other parts of my personality

5:52

that needs to be embraced besides the comedian,

5:55

the manager. I am still such a manager

5:57

at heart. I'm such a fucking man And

5:59

I missed that and I love that, and I

6:01

love talking about the film business and all

6:03

that ship that I missed so much. And then yeah, someone

6:06

who has the gravitous Yeah,

6:08

we fucked on the couch, which

6:11

I love. Wasn't It was great?

6:13

It was intimate but sexy at the same time,

6:15

Like that's their candle. Uh

6:17

No, this was their music. No? Was

6:19

it the glow of the television in the dark room. No,

6:21

there was the glow of the building of New York City

6:25

window. Oh that's way better than anything.

6:27

I just listened in his elevator building. Oh

6:29

what the funk? We all didn't open up right to

6:31

his apartment. I was going to say, yeah,

6:34

No, we drank gin and Tonics and it was sexy,

6:36

but it was intimate. And this is why I love having

6:38

sex with friends and people who I so connect

6:40

with. Uh. And then we went to bed and

6:43

we fucking slept till two, and

6:46

I got a hammeg and cheese from pick a Ball and

6:49

I ran into the manager of New York

6:51

Comedy Club on my walk of same outfit.

6:53

He goes, hey, Karin, like a true dude, he didn't

6:55

even notice I was wearing the same outfit until I

6:58

fucking told him I was what

7:00

you do and I was like, oh no, it wasn't Amelia,

7:02

it was the manager. Yeah, and

7:05

and uh, it was just fucking awesome.

7:07

That's wonderful. It was good, but

7:10

it was great, Yeah, wonderful. You

7:12

guys are want feelings for each other or anything. You're just friends

7:14

who can intelligently talking about film and television.

7:17

And I can't. I can't speak for him.

7:19

I mean I have like I'm connected

7:21

to him in a way that like in a way that's great for luck,

7:23

buddy, there was only one of like he was he this

7:25

is one of This is my problem. I'm gonna

7:28

say second favorite buddy of all time because there was

7:30

another person who is

7:32

now engaged who was my number one buddy of all

7:34

time. Um, and we call like I think we

7:37

feel that's always the same because it's like a friendship

7:40

that you have sex and there's no romantic

7:42

it's romantic when you do it because you respect

7:44

each other, but there's it's like an

7:47

intense connection that doesn't ruin

7:49

your life, that's what. It doesn't distract

7:51

your day, it doesn't distract you from getting along

7:53

with your day. That's wonderful, that's

7:56

fucking amazing. Um. And then so and

7:58

then the next thing that we wanted to just cost was

8:01

I went to the movies two times this weekend,

8:03

once to see Spice World and then

8:05

the second which just it was a

8:08

fucking great reminder. I was there

8:10

with Allison, great reminder of

8:13

like we were like, we need a spice girls

8:15

in two thousand fifteen. I've never seen

8:17

so many women in all my years in New York,

8:20

anywhere in New York together getting

8:22

along so fucking well

8:25

and so nicely.

8:27

It was the most pleasant experience I've ever

8:29

had with a huge group of women in Oh, wait, you

8:31

mean all the women in the theater? In the theater? Wait, do

8:33

women usually fight when they're in large groups? It's

8:36

usually women in large groups is not a good

8:38

thing? Really, yeah, I think

8:41

I think it's it's negative. And Caddy, it

8:43

felt good in the room because

8:45

the Spice Fantastic are gonna

8:47

attract badass bitches.

8:50

It was so wonderful. Badass

8:52

bitch attracts a badass bitch, and you know that

8:54

saying goes um

8:57

and then I and then I went to also see It follows

8:59

which there was all these horror movie previews,

9:01

one of which I just show Christina to the trailer it's

9:04

called Unfriended ak social

9:06

media's ruining our life. It's not out yet, and it's basically

9:09

a horror movie about the real horror

9:11

happening in the world. Um,

9:13

it's one of you know, it's one of these things we've so I've seen all

9:16

these cases of some girl gets

9:18

videotaped doing something quote

9:20

unquote slutty, most

9:22

of the time while she's drunk intoxicated and not know she's

9:25

being filmed. Right, it gets out,

9:27

people tease her and

9:29

taunt her and bully her mercilessly,

9:32

and then she can suicide because

9:35

her life is rune. I mean, I can only imagine

9:37

exact thing has happened many times in the media

9:39

lately past. This is not unlike

9:42

the Monica Lewinsky case,

9:44

which I know Dan Savage and wrote

9:46

a great yeah you know well

9:48

she wrote she wrote a saying and then Dan Savage we tweeted

9:51

it and uh, it's just it's

9:53

a nice not a nice but it's not an

9:55

important remind And she did a Ted Talks and I listened

9:57

to the Ted Talks and it was great, and it's like, God,

10:00

damn it. She is one of the I remember being

10:02

so young when that happened, and knowing that

10:05

everyone was making fun of her for sucking

10:07

the president's dick. But it takes

10:09

two to tango number one and she in the Ted

10:11

talk she talked about how she fell in love with him and

10:14

and he pretty much took advantage

10:16

of that power president. And

10:19

it's Bill Clinton. He's a charming, charismatic,

10:23

the world leader. I know straight men in love

10:25

with Bill Clinton. Yeah.

10:28

Um, But she took all the flak and her life was

10:30

completely ruined by it. And

10:33

this happened so much. Can

10:35

we Can you think of a guy that this has happened to where

10:37

they they ate a girl out and then

10:39

their whole life was ruined. No, I can't

10:41

think of anything. I can think of, you know, homosexual instances,

10:44

but instances, but not anyone with a straight

10:46

man. I will bring the straight man, except for politicians

10:49

who have been involved with like prostitutes or things like that.

10:51

But not even that, but not to the caliber of

10:53

the Monoclon incident. Well the prostitute,

10:55

yeah, yeah, I mean I think there's there's problems with

10:57

that too. If I want to get a prostitute, he should absolutely

11:00

able to get a prostitute and get his diff giving want to get a dick.

11:02

If you're having an extra marital affair, that brings

11:04

on other moral issues. But you don't know what they're married. I don't

11:06

know. There's so many things you don't know. Either way,

11:09

this lout's shamingble that that that. When

11:11

I watched that trailer, it was very interesting,

11:14

really touched on how poisonous

11:16

people can be on the internet and how evil.

11:20

So it is a horror movie. And basically you know that you know the

11:22

girls, and you know come you know, she kills herself and then

11:24

like you know, comes back and haunts and Fox

11:26

with all the people, Wills, people who possibly

11:29

you know, have released the video. At

11:31

any rate, Christina, I will go and stay the movie

11:33

and well we'll pour back to you when it comes out. And I just think

11:35

it's I think it's good, very pertinent

11:38

to the world way. I think it's and I think it's great that this

11:40

is being marketed as a horror film because this this is like

11:42

real, real horror. Yeah it

11:44

is, because people's lives can be ruined. Oh

11:46

my god, that that woman, the PR woman

11:49

who said the one tweet about going to Africa. Hope I don't

11:51

get AIDS. It was a joke. Obviously,

11:53

she's not a comedian, so it's not you know,

11:55

it was a joke. Defense isn't as strong

11:57

when you're not a comedian. But still it doesn't matter.

12:00

It was a dumb joke and it ruined

12:02

her. Y. Yeah, and even if you

12:04

know, you know, we're all humans

12:06

and we all say stupid things sometimes. I know. That's

12:09

a funny thing because everyone gets

12:11

on these people who are publicly humiliated

12:13

on the internet as if they've never done

12:16

anything wrong. Everyone wants to pull

12:18

focus on the person who's in the spotlight doing something

12:20

wrong to avert everyone from paying attention.

12:22

It's like, I don't get it. I don't understand

12:25

it. Humiliation. I mean, that's such a that's such

12:27

a it's been around for a while and

12:29

I can't even believe we're sitting here having this

12:31

conversation. Yeah, what the fuck? And on that

12:34

note, we're gonna go into something a little. We

12:36

have a special thing prepared for you. Well it's not

12:38

it's not special or prepared. Well, it's special, but not

12:40

prepared. Uh.

12:42

Today, the day that the episode

12:44

comes out, which is March Friday,

12:47

March is mys

12:49

upstairs. I don't want them to hear me because I want

12:51

to edit this episode, but I don't know. I'm still make me to

12:53

help. It's my four year

12:56

anniversary with

12:58

being with Steven, and I just

13:00

want to talk to him.

13:02

Oh it's March about my

13:04

calendar. Hey, women, forget

13:07

shipped too. Okay, it doesn't mean we love you

13:09

any less, Okay, I

13:12

just Stephen, I just want to tell you

13:15

that I you are one

13:17

of the best things that's ever happened to me in my

13:19

life. And I can't I am so lucky.

13:23

This is so wonderful because I didn't think this kind of relationship

13:25

was possible, because I've had some good ones and bad ones,

13:27

but none of them this amazing. I've

13:29

been with you for four years and

13:32

you are, I mean, my

13:34

one of my best friends. We

13:37

go on so many amazing adventures together.

13:39

We do these things. We do this thing where we we love

13:41

pinball. So we'll say, let's

13:43

go on a weekend getaway, and so we'll look up a pinball

13:46

arcade in another state and we'll travel that state

13:48

and saying, like a cheap hotel and like go to a strip club

13:50

or something if we're feeling rich, and

13:52

and it's just it's it's the most fun relationship

13:54

I've ever had in my entire life, and

13:57

I it's so it's so wonderful

13:59

to be with someone

14:02

who makes you truly makes you a better person,

14:04

and you truly admire and respect

14:07

creatively, artistically, intellectually,

14:09

and who challenges you in the best

14:11

possible way. And I

14:13

wish that for everyone listening to this podcast,

14:16

if you're in a relationship and you don't feel

14:18

that way about your partner. I didn't think

14:20

it was possible to to love somebody this much.

14:23

Um, just know that that's what I think everyone

14:25

deserves in their life. And I

14:27

just want to say, Stephen Uh,

14:31

thank you for loving me. I know it's been

14:33

a challenge and I

14:36

can't. I wake up every

14:38

day and I'm so thankful

14:42

that you found me, and

14:44

I'm so thankful that we each have our own

14:46

passions and we inspire each other creatively

14:49

and artistically, and and just every day

14:51

I look at you and I just love you more

14:54

every day. And I never thought

14:56

that that was anything that I would

14:58

ever experience. So I just want to say thank

15:00

you from the bottom of my heart for being the

15:02

most amazing man I've ever met. And

15:05

I really thought I wasn't gonna cry, but oh

15:07

I knew you were gonna cry. Yeah, I know

15:10

I was gonna cry in too, But I just, I just I can't

15:12

believe how much I'm in love with you. I'm and

15:15

how amazing our sex life is, and how

15:17

amazing of a communicator. And I really attribute

15:19

that to you. I attribute it

15:21

to you. I am so stubborn and so frustrating

15:24

to talk to, and I completely

15:26

understand that when I'm angry, or when I'm tired,

15:28

and when I'm hungry, all kinds of

15:30

situations where I'm hard to talk to. But

15:33

you impressed me every day with how

15:35

well you communicate and handle things

15:37

and show how much you love me. And

15:39

you're the best gift giver I've ever dated.

15:42

And you're just so thoughtful and wonderful

15:44

and um, thank you. I

15:46

love you very much. Okay,

15:49

that was it. That was good. I like that.

15:51

That was oft from the top of my head. I was speaking from

15:53

my heart. It was like, died, Christine. I didn't know you were

15:56

recording the inswer and I was like, no, I think should I'm

15:59

repped up? And I think it's better if it just

16:01

comes from the heart. Oh. Absolutely, you just

16:03

display. Yeah, guys, this

16:05

week's episode, I think it's perfect for what kind

16:07

of what you just said. We talked a lot about relationships

16:10

and really daltan to a

16:12

lot of stuff. This was a really interesting conversation.

16:15

Um, this guest is a stand up comedian.

16:18

He's co creator of The Chapelle Show,

16:20

Best Show, the best shows that it's ever graced to

16:22

TELEVI even Barack Obama like and

16:25

Michelle Obama. I know that's so cool.

16:27

Oh you guys. He's one of the most amazing

16:29

comedians that

16:32

that exists today. Um, ladies

16:34

and gentlemen. Neil Brennan, Yeah,

16:50

are you chewing it from me with your new teeth? I've

16:53

never seen you chewing. I

16:55

gotta get that out of the way because I said

16:58

the reason I couldn't do it at the I

17:00

we were supposed to do it one then I had to go to the dentist.

17:04

I ship both of my front teeth,

17:07

like separately,

17:09

ten years ago. Skateboarding and um,

17:12

lifting weights. You don't want to know.

17:16

So you punched yourself in the face of the dropped

17:18

a weight on my just dropped a weight

17:20

on my but didn't drop it. There's

17:23

a thing where you lay on your back and then you

17:25

take a weight and you extend your arm

17:27

and then at your elbow, you

17:30

know, like working out. Yeah, and I basically

17:32

took the weight. Were

17:36

you at a gym or of course?

17:39

And like someone saw it and I just like it.

17:44

Did you cry? Okay?

17:46

I would have cried, and I would have been completely acceptable.

17:48

It's just embarrassing

17:52

to do that though, because your arm gives out, it's at

17:54

a certain point. I could definitely see that happening. But

17:56

I did it on the first one. All right, that's

17:58

that's really embarrassing. Rob it. I literally

18:01

just and

18:03

then get them going home? Did you go home after

18:06

that? Defeated? Yeah? Really

18:08

sad? How long ago was that? Ten

18:10

years ago? How long is it? So you worked out again? I

18:13

never did? So

18:16

what you got any teeth? But then you could you can eat right

18:18

away? Yeah that's cool. I'm

18:20

like, wow, I

18:23

think I can eat right away. I just did so hopefully.

18:26

Yeah, but you didn't. It's not like you were chewing with the front

18:28

teeth anyway, you know what I mean? Yeah,

18:30

these are the choppers in the back. This is for all

18:32

for show in the front. These are the showcase

18:35

teeth. Let's talk about fucking Brennan.

18:37

Well, first of all, I haven't you guys right

18:41

are being serious, But there was a time where you're

18:43

actually unsure about that? No, it wasn't not sure.

18:45

Okay, there was a time when there was a

18:47

time. I

18:49

think you tried to, but I'm not Maybe

18:52

when we were reading that wrong, I think you perhaps

18:54

thought we were going to have sex and

18:56

then we didn't when last

18:59

time we were now because I had messaged

19:01

you on Twitter and then I was like, Oh, we're

19:03

gonna be at a comedy store tonight, and then you

19:05

were up like third in the lineup, and I

19:07

think you thought I was just going to leave after that,

19:09

But I enjoyed. I didn't know what. I

19:12

didn't have any idea. All right,

19:14

that's fair because I can't. I barely can remember

19:16

who I'm

19:19

just I get it and then I'll see somebody They're like, hey I'm

19:21

here. I'm like what huh oh, yeah,

19:23

so I don't know who. I forget. Your head's

19:25

just everywhere. That's acceptable. Would

19:28

whenever, No, I wouldn't know, you wouldn't have. No, we

19:30

already discussed this. I try not. The

19:34

better you're doing, the less likely I am

19:36

to have sex. I'm also I

19:38

don't have sex with girls

19:41

in comedy. Why not? I

19:43

mean I understand that. What's your reason? Because I

19:45

don't want to bump into people that I no longer have sex

19:47

with. Do you have bad bad

19:49

vibes? Never know? I

19:51

just don't want to if I'm on a date with it, if

19:53

I bring another girl, then it's just did

19:55

too much. It's not worth it. Why I give yourself

19:57

that? Also, I like my job and I don't

20:00

want to suck it up with like, you

20:02

know, having like fucked

20:04

her? Did I she mad at me?

20:07

I don't have to worry. Now. When you say comedy, do you mean

20:09

l a comedy? Um?

20:11

I feel like you're saying something because

20:13

comedians each other. I mean, I do know

20:15

something I don't want to, but

20:18

we don't need to get into it. Um.

20:20

I'll say rarely that that's

20:22

all I want. We just want the truth. You don't have to

20:25

say anything that I don't want to say. Yeah, that's

20:27

fine, but that's not that's yeah.

20:29

Who do How do you meet chicks? What's

20:31

your preferred going

20:35

on stage? And then I mean generally how I meet

20:37

chicks is um either through

20:41

who have either through friends or

20:44

you don't have a lot of times if I'm on tender or

20:47

hinge, girls

20:49

will have seen me do stand up. I was. I

20:51

was like, how can someone like you who's very

20:53

well known? But it's not it's a weird well

20:55

not facial recognition, you

20:57

know, because comedian, every comedian knows you

21:00

are. A lot of people know you are, but not like random

21:02

hot chicks in l A. Maybe you've

21:05

got to be a real fucking nerd to know. Yeah.

21:07

Do you like when people know who you are when

21:09

you're dating them or meaning? I

21:11

don't. It's not like it's

21:13

not one of those things where it's like, oh, well then

21:16

oh you like my work, then no, this

21:18

can't be. I don't give a ship. Yeah, I mean

21:20

that's a guy. It's just like, okay, what I actually do a joke about

21:22

it. It's like you're willing. No, It's like

21:24

the reason I do the reason

21:27

I do comedy is for that. I mean not exactly,

21:29

but it's like the reason it's like

21:31

self worth and all that ship. Yeah, yeah,

21:34

but yeah, I don't. I don't. There's never

21:36

been someone who I thought was like too

21:38

much of a fan. I was like, you

21:41

like me in the wrong way. You

21:44

need to feel right. Put

21:46

your clothes on, put your overalls

21:49

on, and get out of here. Show yourself out. Don't

21:51

trip on the night from very

21:53

impressive. By the way, we were waning outside your house

21:55

and we could see to night uniforms

21:58

assembled. First of all, we're

22:01

very how did you get them up there? Uh?

22:03

And where did you get didn't I When

22:07

I first made money, I was like, I want to

22:09

fucking giant TV and a suit

22:11

of armor. That's awesome. That

22:13

makes great choices. And I bought

22:15

a giant TV and a suit of armor.

22:17

Although that's like fake, it's like four bucks

22:19

something. It's like, wow, it's like rubber

22:21

peasant money. Get

22:23

fake suits of armor for that chip. And

22:26

then the little one was like a it

22:28

wasn't expensive. I also, I always wanted

22:30

one of those Native Americans that you find like a,

22:33

yeah, that's what. That was my first thing

22:35

that I would get one of those. Yeah, that's a cool thing to

22:37

have. It just looks impressive, it's

22:40

cool, it's decorative. So we were

22:42

standing outside and like I was gonna say, I was like, your home

22:44

is a real palace, pussy

22:47

Wettner. Yeah,

22:50

Well, because so we pulled up, we were already

22:52

impressed, and then the dog. Then it's

22:54

a big production to get in, which only makes

22:56

us want you more. And then we saw

22:58

through the window this unit of armor, and then we're

23:00

like, wow, this is a great I'm

23:03

excited, although now that I know it was only four under. But

23:05

I think the suit of armor UM

23:08

is not a pussy winner. I think it's a pussy

23:10

I think it's like it makes me seem an adolescent.

23:13

I think it's hilarious. I do too,

23:15

but that doesn't mean anything. There's plenty of things

23:17

I think that are hilarity find adolescent.

23:21

I had a girlfriend who um

23:24

wanted me to get rid of it, and I

23:26

never did. Why Why why would someone be concerned

23:28

with that? She was just jerky in that way is

23:31

going to have a suit of armor. It's very

23:34

like that's certain she

23:36

liked things a certain way. But I mean,

23:38

like I understand, like Marilyn Manson has like the

23:40

gas they used in Nazi concentration

23:42

camps in his home, Like I could see someone being like,

23:45

can you get rid of that? But like

23:47

was very design

23:49

conscious. It

23:52

was like we didn't even live together. We

23:54

were going to live together and then we ended up not

23:56

living together. But but yeah,

23:58

she really wanted me to get rid of it. It was It's like

24:00

it was, it was a lot of like tell me what to wear

24:02

and ship? Did you

24:04

do it? Did I wear what

24:07

she wants? She would buy me ship

24:09

and uh and if she was a

24:12

stylist, it was kind of hard not to do

24:14

you know what I mean? Did you like the ship that she bought you? I

24:16

don't know. I mean I would, but I

24:18

don't. I like, I wear this every day.

24:21

Yeah, Like I like what I was wearing a T shirt.

24:23

Wearing a T shirt and bahn

24:25

M jeans and sneakers. They're nice blue bright.

24:29

So let's I want to start from the beginning. I'm curious

24:31

about like your you're the I read that you're the

24:33

youngest of ten siblings. What

24:35

was that? Like? Who did who taught you about

24:37

sex when you were a kid? Nobody?

24:40

How did you know? I didn't really have worn

24:43

on the internet, like hearsay, Tacolics

24:45

aren't big about talking like my mom's. That's

24:48

not a big sexs and Catholics it's

24:50

not a big thing. Didn't have an older brother or sister, like

24:53

knew no God, they were all

24:55

like repressed Catholic people like

24:57

they were just as like, I'm probably

25:00

like the the

25:03

the most sexualized one.

25:07

I don't even like talking like that. But are

25:09

you the only one in the arts? No? No, okay,

25:13

um, but like maybe I

25:15

have another brother that's like super good looking, so he probably

25:18

he gets laid a lot, but whatever. Um

25:21

yeah, so if you sound

25:24

if you could switch places with that brother and be go

25:26

looking as like the good looking

25:28

brother or

25:31

would you rather be you super successful?

25:34

Yea and by by

25:37

by implication not good looking. No. I

25:39

knew you want to read into that because you're a comedian.

25:41

I knew you were to read that, but you made it seem

25:43

like he is like a movie star subtext

25:46

of what I would saying, Um, you're

25:48

very handsome meal, No, I'm fine, I'm

25:51

fine. Great teeth

25:54

you I

25:57

wish I knew what the old teeth look the

26:00

same, Okay, you're not

26:02

going to be like what Yeah, no one's gonna know. And it also

26:04

looks normal stuff. Thanks. Um,

26:07

So you winged it

26:08

the second and I didn't

26:10

really know what I was doing. There was no

26:13

did you have any weird childhood sexual exploration

26:15

because everyone I feel like everyone has that. But no, one

26:17

likes to talk about it because kids. No, I really didn't

26:19

know like circle jerks or anything

26:21

like circle j for a bunch

26:24

I heard of jerk

26:26

yeah, oh, or you I'm sorry in

26:29

a circle? Was

26:32

that going for you again? Just like

26:34

like prep school ship? Like that you

26:37

off in the wood? Right? Never. There's

26:39

a lot of things that I feel like are just I think

26:42

girls really jerked off, masturbated

26:44

together. Oh no, that's a lie. Girl will find

26:46

another friend and they'll do it and they won't

26:48

talk about it. That's been my That's what I've

26:51

heard from a lot of girls. Yeah, or they'll yeah, they'll

26:53

be at a sleepover and they'll both be doing Yeah. See,

26:55

I wish I had a friend like that. I don't I

26:57

had one. I remember I made her. I remember being

27:00

young and asking her to touch my butt and

27:03

it was and I remember feeling really weird. But I was

27:05

like six years old. She was like the cheat and shot

27:07

yeah. I don't know why, I mean I was. I

27:09

guess I was a horny little kid. I have no idea. And

27:11

then she did it and she was like I'm gonna go by

27:15

catching for like a minute. It

27:18

was weird. She didn't move it. No, just

27:20

put her hand on it and did

27:22

and was it it was? It

27:24

wasn't good, No, it was great for me at

27:26

the time. Did it like actively turn

27:28

you on? It did, but I never had an

27:30

orgasm at that point, so I didn't know that there was a

27:32

finale. I just thought that, oh, this

27:35

is enjoyable. Well, you were saying, and I used to

27:37

play a game. Are

27:39

you do you like guys or girls? Now? Guys?

27:41

I always have like guys. I tried to have sex with a girl

27:44

once because I was really curious. Like most

27:46

women, I feel like I don't want it. I don't

27:48

like eating girls out. I don't like licking

27:50

a pussy. A lot of guys don't why,

27:54

I don't know too much. No, well,

27:56

actually I also have intimidated by that, because

27:59

you would think that I would be good at it because I have one. But

28:01

I don't think that intimidates me the

28:03

fact that I should be good at it maybe,

28:05

And also, vaginas don't turn me on. Boobs

28:08

turn me on. Not

28:10

gonna be honest, vaginas don't turn me on either,

28:13

really, I mean, they don't like the sight

28:15

of a vagina. I'm not like fucking Yeah,

28:18

A lot of guys are boobs are obviously

28:21

likethetically

28:23

pleasing, like butts are

28:25

aesthetically pleasing. But like you know,

28:27

with vaginas, it's it's a mixed bag. Oh

28:30

yeah, every vagina is so different. I don't realize

28:32

that until I got older. Yeah, do you have its

28:34

preference or vaginas

28:36

of vagina? Jans Um

28:39

a girl named Chain. I've never gone

28:41

with a girl name james Um. I

28:43

don't know. Do you like

28:45

eating girls out? Yeah?

28:49

But not not No, I absolutely there's

28:51

some guys that are like that. Like No,

28:54

I mean I like it. I

28:57

like it better than the

28:59

penis because it's more specific.

29:02

Um, you like the vagina better than no.

29:04

I like eating out a girl like

29:07

it's more effective to me. It's

29:10

more specific, like I know when I'm there,

29:12

like I can do. It's not there's no

29:14

I don't have to worry about myself. It's not like, uh

29:16

huh, when am I to stop myself

29:19

from just before? I'm just doing that.

29:21

And you can listen to the vagina

29:27

okay, girl scope

29:30

step the scope that's for my new teeth. Oh man.

29:34

So yeah, so I do prefer going down.

29:36

I mean I like going on on girls. That's

29:39

good. Yeah. Do you have you ever done but stuff

29:41

with girls? Like have you ever eaten out a butt?

29:44

Um? Yeah, I'm but

29:46

it's always I'm always it's always a little tentative,

29:50

so you'll do it and then you just move on to something else. Are

29:53

you like straight up eating

29:55

like I'm gonna eat your butt? Well,

29:58

I mean I get it. Why you wouldn't want to say please

30:00

don't say it like that. Yeah,

30:05

but I don't know why I'm talking about this, Yeah,

30:07

because we're asking yeah, um

30:11

yeah, well yeah, but it's not like you

30:13

know, there's there's the

30:15

butt is so overrated in

30:17

terms of like there's

30:19

a vagina right there, so

30:22

like why go with like a second rate

30:24

vagina? The butt is a

30:26

second rate vachina is a good way to put it. It's a

30:28

second rate vagina. It's like a lot of women

30:30

will be very happy to hear that. It's like, look,

30:33

but as you know how women

30:35

I always think that men want sexual

30:39

um

30:41

uh fucking conquests.

30:45

Like obviously men want sexution, women want emotional

30:47

con women want like they

30:50

want to grow, They want emotional growth.

30:52

Men want sexual growth. So there's only so many.

30:54

It's like I want to touch a boob.

30:57

Then I want to fucking touch a vagina.

30:59

Then I want to stick something your vagina.

31:01

Then I want to then I want to go to there's

31:03

just things and then it literally is like other people

31:05

that I want your roommate here, whereas

31:08

girls want like I want us to

31:10

be date and then I want

31:12

us to be committed. Then I want to meet your

31:14

family. Then like there's um,

31:17

Karen is not she

31:21

You hate meeting people's parents, you hate

31:23

any of that stuff. Yeah, oh yeah, I don't

31:25

really funk with that either. But but

31:28

but yeah, so I feel like men want a butt,

31:30

but it's like, what do you want

31:32

it? It's just like I

31:34

want in there. That's exactly what Samurel said. He's that

31:36

He's like, I don't think most people, most guys

31:38

want to funk your ass. I think they just want to

31:40

know to see if they can, if

31:42

you will let them funk your ass. So

31:45

you would agree with that, okay, because

31:47

that that really blew our minds. Weird that we're

31:49

like, what because some guys

31:51

are so and so God, it's almost

31:54

weird how insistent they are about wanting

31:56

to put their penises the thing.

31:59

It's just for progression. They just want

32:01

progress. That's all it is. They It's

32:03

literally I'm that there's a velvet

32:05

rope in front of the club I want to end up. So have

32:07

you ever been in a relationship where you wanted

32:10

sexual progress in it? And the girl was

32:12

like nah, I mean if you have, you always

32:14

been on the never it's I'm

32:16

never. If a girl's like no, I'm not like fuck

32:18

the fuck you because you're not like I

32:21

just realized, like, oh well, yeah, I don't think

32:23

I want What are ways though that you

32:25

could make your relationship in the sex

32:28

area more better? Like what are your

32:30

usual like this, I'm gonna turn it up now we're gonna watch

32:32

porn and then we're gonna go to strip club and then we're gonna like

32:34

I don't you know, I don't really

32:37

have um

32:40

ways that the last girl

32:42

I dated for a long time, like she was more like

32:46

sexually adventurous and not like I wasn't like

32:48

what but

32:50

she was just into ship that I've never done before. I was like

32:53

like what, um,

32:55

I don't want to talk about it. Okay, you do not have

32:57

to like in the choking spanking

32:59

area, okay, yeah, nothing like

33:01

fucking pean air anything. Okay,

33:04

I mean that happens to we talk to people who

33:06

do like blood play. It's

33:08

interesting, Yeah, mothering fetish.

33:11

I don't have anything like that. Do you have any kinks or

33:13

fetishes that you like? What do you like

33:15

to have sex with? Trying

33:17

to get a feel and I can't conscious I

33:24

like, here's what I like. I like a girl that

33:27

is sexual in

33:30

a way that is not it's

33:32

she's unabashedly sexual. Yeah.

33:34

Like I don't like to negotiate. I don't

33:36

want it to be like we shouldn't

33:39

any kind of should or we can't or

33:42

that makes me that it's just like corny

33:44

certainty you want. Yeah, I just want

33:47

like, I just want a girl. It's section who wants to have

33:49

sex. So do you know how old? How

33:51

old you? Wikipedia said they've

33:53

got two ages your

33:56

early forties? Yeah, so your

33:58

early forties, so which

34:00

I, by the way, cannot fucking believe

34:03

why because I'm just like what it's like,

34:05

where did the time go? Or? I first

34:07

of all, I feel like a kid, like that's

34:10

the beauty of me a comedian? Now, Yeah, I guess

34:12

so, but I don't feel like like you look around

34:14

it's like, oh, a forty year old lives here. It's

34:16

like, my guy,

34:19

my dad had ten kids by the time it was my damn,

34:22

there's a lot of kids. Yeah, but as

34:24

the generations go on, it's like everything, everyone's

34:27

doing everything so much later in life. I don't think he should

34:29

have. I'm just saying, like, the difference

34:31

between my life and his life are massive. Does

34:33

that make you feel It makes you feel great?

34:35

Yeah? Yeah, I was like I think I don't.

34:38

When I hear forty, I'm just like, what does

34:40

it sounds like something? And I'm like, but

34:43

but wait, I feel twenty.

34:47

I like literally, I'm just like I just dropped out of

34:49

college, Like what are you talking about? But again,

34:51

like I have a weird sense of time, Like I don't know, like

34:54

if sometimes will be in New York and I'll be like,

34:56

is it I

34:59

swear to go? The Spice Girls just released.

35:03

We read Half Baked Yet,

35:05

which trip is this? I know it sounds

35:08

but yeah, the babe, I'm

35:10

babe, I'm crazy. Well have you I mean, have you done

35:12

a lot of drugs? Or is this just time? No, it's

35:14

just a weird time. It's just a weird

35:17

uh experience.

35:20

And also the thing about adulthood is you

35:22

run into the same It's basically like once

35:25

you're in a class, you

35:27

just see those people and nausea.

35:30

So I've been seeing David

35:32

Tell since I was fifteen, you know what I mean,

35:34

Like I've been seeing sucking Ramona

35:37

Raymond. I've been seeing and then it's like and

35:39

then now it's like it's

35:42

like I've been seeing the same people for twenty years.

35:44

Right now. You were hanging out with those those comics

35:46

so young, did well

35:49

exactly know? But they were the thing with Kevin

35:51

and Hotel. It's not like they were like, you know,

35:53

pussy magnets. So it wasn't

35:55

like they had a lot of Yes, I feel like it's

35:57

not even tips, but just even like thoughts

35:59

or respectus on women that shape none

36:02

none, Are you serious? So we're talking about

36:04

comedy, we weren't like talking.

36:06

I was just kind of watching them. He was standing

36:08

behind them. Yeah, I was basically just like watching them be

36:10

adults, right, like, yeah, I want to do that.

36:13

But it was it wasn't like fellas, no talk to

36:15

me about policie. I know sometimes

36:17

when you're around older people, they kind of like try to like

36:20

drop a little gem. No they I mean, I don't think they

36:22

had a ton to drop. Yeah, I can

36:24

see that, I guess. Yeah. I remember

36:26

when Sarah Silverman lost her virginay

36:28

to my brother. That's in her book.

36:31

They like in their email correspondences

36:33

in her book too. I haven't read about

36:36

like can I talk about it? But I remember

36:38

that. I remember that period of like,

36:41

oh, Sarah, that's eighteen year old

36:43

girl, and like she's

36:45

like, who was? It was just confusing

36:48

to like a fifte year old? How old

36:50

were you when you first had sex? Seventeen?

36:53

Okay? I was, but I was in I was in college,

36:55

my first year in college. Okay, how was it?

36:57

How was your first time? Not? Good? I mean I was

37:00

and good? Literally the girl said, like, you've never

37:02

done this before? What you were

37:04

a virgin? Why not? Because

37:06

you didn't want to who you're going to? Never

37:09

goddamn business, she'd

37:11

get out of my other business. That's why did

37:13

you show up dating? Or just a

37:15

girl girl that we ended up

37:18

dating? Yet? Um, and

37:20

you ended up dating after you had sex? Yeah,

37:22

I think we might have started dating before

37:25

we had or whatever we were we

37:27

were official. How many relationships have you had?

37:30

Are you a relationship guy or do you prefer to

37:32

me sometimes I am. It just

37:34

depends. Like I used to be more relationship

37:37

than I realized. You don't have to be in a relationship

37:39

with people you don't want to be in a relationships with. Yeah, that's

37:41

a good, hard,

37:44

fucking less What did

37:46

you have a relationship? It's super long

37:49

for we're

37:51

gonna go uh six

37:55

probably real relationship seven like

37:57

of a year at least. Okay, yeah,

38:00

of substance. Did you ever get your heartbroken? Yeah?

38:02

I started geting my heartbroken recently.

38:05

Um, but are you dealing you?

38:08

You said you started getting Yeah, I'd never I'd

38:10

never been in love with the girl before. And then I fell in love

38:12

with two girls in a row and they both broke up with me.

38:15

So you've only been in love recently as a as a Yeah,

38:17

it's like fucking as an old

38:19

as an old, that's so. So what

38:22

was there something stopping you? So you were in long term relationships

38:24

with you that you didn't love. Yeah,

38:27

I wasn't in love with them, that's so. Did

38:29

you have crushes on them or you know? I was attracted

38:31

to them like objectively, but I wasn't like in love

38:33

with them. And you knew at the time in the relationship that

38:35

you were in love or or now the later that you

38:37

really fell in love. Oh yeah,

38:39

I was just saying, Okay, I

38:42

have a theory that guys say it the way

38:45

you know when you do drugs as a kid, when

38:48

you do like do you smoke weed or whatever, and

38:50

you're like, are you feeling it? But no one even

38:52

knows what you're supposed to be feeling, like you

38:54

don't get higher the first few times, and you oh,

38:56

yeah, that was first. I

38:58

feel like, that's what it's like for eyes. It's like, yeah,

39:01

I'm in love. I mean, that's what it's like for everyone.

39:03

Honestly, because in retrospect, I didn't love a lot of people

39:05

that I said I loved you. I realized that I was faking

39:07

a lot of orgasms though, when I was having

39:10

sex with the first time, because I thought that. I

39:12

thought that because it's so hard for feeling

39:14

was an orgasmic Yeah, exactly, but I've had them

39:16

on my own. But I thought, oh, when you're having sex with somebody,

39:19

because it's hard to get an orgasm from a penis

39:21

inside of you. It's it's difficult for goes

39:23

back to my, my,

39:25

my fucking oral sex argument

39:27

right, Oh yeah, the woral it's

39:30

more direct. Um. But yeah,

39:32

so I remember the first time I had one with a guy. I was like,

39:36

I'm sorry, I've been missing out

39:38

on that. Yeah. Yeah, well I think you'd

39:40

call a lot of the guys. But like, by the way, now,

39:42

I didn't have the heart. I'm a very nice lover. I'm

39:45

not gonna making me feel bad. That's not fun,

39:49

you know what I mean? So wait,

39:51

how did you when was the moment, like, describe

39:53

the moment of falling in love for the first time after

39:57

maybe thinking's like it was like, oh,

40:00

it was like, oh, this is fucking awesome, Like

40:03

it felt so nice. Yeah, it feels

40:05

like it's like crack. I've never done crack, but

40:07

I would imagine it feels like that. It

40:09

was so like euphoric and great and like,

40:12

oh my god, this is so scary and weird

40:14

and it and it ended obviously not on your terms,

40:16

no, first, not end on my term. How do you deal

40:19

with heartbreak? In that case? I

40:21

just like cried a lot. I think yea,

40:23

um, but

40:26

yeah, it was like she we broke up twice,

40:29

um, and uh yeah, it was

40:31

just sad. And then the next

40:33

was she someone your age er? Yeah, I

40:36

mean I know she wasn't.

40:38

She was thirty. She was ten years younger than me.

40:40

I literally think, I'm yeah at my age,

40:42

and I'm like, no, well no, I

40:44

just we were just interested in talking

40:46

about that, yeah, because I know you like mentioned some things

40:48

like people tend to think your adolescent. But you

40:50

know, I just was wondering, like what types of people

40:53

like adrians you tend to Oh yeah, I mean, well

40:55

the thing I think. The thing

40:57

about me is if you find me attractive, it's

40:59

jen really uh

41:02

by, like because you think I'm

41:04

smart and funny. Like, so if

41:06

you think I'm smart and funny, you probably are a little bit

41:09

smart and funny. So like

41:12

that's kind of the So

41:14

you attract people that I attract like like

41:16

my intellectual Yeah. Yeah, Like she was like

41:18

getting her masters in psychology and chi she

41:20

was, well, what's good because a lot of people don't like people

41:22

like them like I don't. I think it's where I like people like

41:25

me like, but a lot of guys like just dumb

41:27

hot people. We've seen that a lot

41:29

in the way. It's weird, you see the and

41:31

I hate I hate judging the

41:34

chicks like that. But you know when you have a

41:36

girl that's like, I get a drink

41:38

and it's just like it makes you cage a little

41:40

bit and they eat them up, Like

41:42

why would you? I say,

41:45

there's times when I would wish I just had a

41:47

really hot dumb guy rock because

41:49

I don't want to be bothered, but I want to earn

41:51

the dick. But by the way, girls

41:54

like dumb guys to trust me. Really,

41:57

yes, that is

41:59

the biggest two off. But guess what, hot

42:01

girls like athletes and fucking

42:04

models. It's the same ship. It's not like

42:06

you see. That's the thing is women have this rep of like I'm

42:08

like, no, you like fucking tall guys with broad

42:10

shoulders, stop it and like defined

42:13

cheekbones. It's just in you. I like

42:15

fat guys with beards. Is that true?

42:17

Yeah? All right, well that's yeah, you're but that's

42:19

hot right now? Well no, no, I will.

42:21

I liked it before it was hot. Christina

42:24

backing up, she did, I've seen the guy

42:26

she's dated, but I've been doing not forever.

42:29

Yeah, there's a big all right, so that you're you're

42:31

in the minority. But for the most part, women like

42:33

what you think they're gonna like in the same with men. So

42:35

I don't jet women. I think women don't

42:38

get a hard enough time for that for just liking

42:40

hot dudes. Like, look, I'm fucking smart

42:42

as ship and funny, So why am

42:44

I not swimming and fucking tense?

42:48

I hate the term, but like, you know what I mean, it's

42:50

like, why am I by women? But to

42:52

hear women talk about it, I should be the

42:54

most popular guy in the world and

42:56

Tom Brady should be like, you

42:59

know what I mean? Yeah, but meanwhile,

43:02

uh, he's married to she just help.

43:05

No. I mean, I get good looking girls, but it's I

43:07

was gonna say, I feel like you get because

43:09

also to like the really hot chicks that are

43:11

like kind of out there, like DITZI would

43:14

see you do comedy or something and be like he

43:17

does, but just cling.

43:19

Yeah, but they don't. But they don't know because it's

43:21

boring. I had a girl break up and we

43:24

broke up one time. I broke up with her

43:26

and she said, good luck finding someone

43:28

to watch her stupid documentaries Withsion.

43:35

Sweet, but it's a hilarious thing to say. But

43:38

like it's but that's there's something to itive,

43:41

like, yeah, I don't want to do. I don't really drink.

43:43

I don't fucking uh like,

43:46

I don't do anything like

43:48

whatever the ship

43:50

girls like, I like the

43:53

beach, and I like wine. I'm like,

43:55

no, no, do

43:57

you like Neil Nothing?

44:00

I think we would. I think you guys are like

44:05

when you like dogs. I like my dogs

44:08

do good boys. Everybody

44:10

knows that I

44:14

work a lot, and then when I'm not working,

44:16

I like to watch. I literally like to watch

44:19

documentary. Yeah that's

44:21

great. That sounds a ser size and

44:23

uh and

44:26

I think that's it when you're dating somebody, though, what

44:28

do you guys do watch documentary?

44:32

I mean, honestly watched that. I mean, if we can the girl.

44:34

I mean, is it's so extreme that all you

44:36

do with chicks watch documentary? It's

44:39

extreme documentary? Where's

44:41

your teeth? Relatively extreme

44:43

like that. But at the same time, like it's

44:46

not obviously like like

44:48

it's not a problem you're addicted a documentary. They're

44:51

also I'm running out. Is the problem is a bigger

44:53

well, I mean Netflix, HBO to

44:55

watch the Jinks, of course? Yeah,

44:59

um so yeah, so I wanted so yeah,

45:01

like I'm not the most social

45:04

guy, but I'm also not I'm also

45:07

charming and ship. If I have to be say are you

45:09

are you are romantic? What what

45:11

that mean? What it's mean

45:15

interpretation? I think am I romantic?

45:17

A romantic? I mean when you're

45:19

in love, when you fell in love for the first time, I mean, didn't

45:21

you want to do things that you've never wanted to do before

45:24

for that person? Yeah, Like I was more

45:26

I think I was more generous um

45:29

with my time and ship. And also like

45:31

the first time we dated, I wasn't generous. I

45:33

was like fucking putting up boundaries because I felt

45:35

like the first bunch of relationships

45:38

I had, I just didn't have any boundaries, and like I'd

45:40

kind of get way late into like not being

45:42

able to have nights my nights

45:45

um. And then then I was like I had sucking boundaries.

45:48

So then the next time I was over boundaried with

45:50

a girlfriend, then she broke up with me, and then I was

45:52

like, you know what I was wrong? And

45:56

then and then she broke with me again because

45:58

she she didn't want to be in the relationship.

46:01

Okay, what kind of boundaries did you? Like? How

46:03

did you set a boundary? Did you not open up to her? No,

46:05

it was just like I can only hang out at so

46:07

many nights a week. I can't be if

46:10

I don't text you back immediately, you can't get mad at me, Like,

46:12

I mean, that's bound that's

46:14

just like did she present any boundaries

46:17

or rules like that to you or

46:20

um? Not as specifically as

46:22

I did. Um, But

46:24

but yeah, I mean, the the cool thing of that relationship

46:27

was we just fucking could talk endlessly. Yeah,

46:29

it was served right. Um.

46:32

Because the problem with being a

46:34

comedian is most

46:36

of your friends are fucking funny and interesting. It's a

46:38

huge problem. So when you're

46:41

when you're with somebody who's not as I'm

46:43

not saying I don't want someone to come up with jokes,

46:46

but because that's your job, that's

46:48

my job. God damnit,

46:50

keep it down, sweetheart. Um.

46:54

But yeah, so so that's kind of the

46:56

hard part. But but with the last

46:59

two girls, I was there, wasn't. I

47:01

wasn't I was never bored. Yeah,

47:04

because that's what happens. It's just kind of flows seamlessly.

47:07

And I like, I like watching basketball

47:10

everything every girl's dream something

47:12

else women don't like. We were just

47:14

talking about how much we hate

47:16

sports. I can't imagine, of course, nothing

47:19

for the least bad

47:21

though, if I had picked one, because they're all good looking.

47:23

They're mostly good looking. Kind about that. It's about

47:25

it's easy to follow, it's not boring like baseball

47:28

or football goes on just forever forever.

47:31

Yeah, I mean, if girls are gonna watch it with a good looking

47:33

I feel like that. Soccer, no, football, Well,

47:35

soccer dudes are oddly all very attractive.

47:38

Football with the tight asses, Yeah, that's

47:40

pretty fun. They're a little bulky though, because

47:42

I know I like it. I like a guy with a bubble. But I

47:45

like, if you're gonna be fat, just be fat. Don't be

47:47

like muscle on top of pick

47:49

one. Yeah, just pick one. Just don't do

47:51

anything. Um alright, So

47:56

what what happens? Does anything happen,

47:58

dear dick as you age in terms

48:00

of like your your your appetite for sex,

48:02

how much you jerk off? My appetite for sex

48:05

is contingent more antidepressants

48:07

than my actual dick. Okay, there

48:10

we go. So there is the juice.

48:12

Yeah, so that I so you know,

48:15

besides that, that affects your sexuality

48:17

a lot, right, your sex drive? Yeah, because

48:20

I'm feeling on what you're on. I mean, I'm on birth control

48:22

and that ship that's tears

48:24

down my sex drive. I hate it. Yeah, but it

48:26

also makes me like it helps

48:29

a lot. You can fun stop, I

48:31

can funk, but I'm not as in the mood too. But it's

48:33

like I have cystic ovaries. No women's

48:38

it's not fair. No, it's another thing.

48:40

That's God is the most sexist thing.

48:43

And I don't believe. Do you believed?

48:45

Okay? But when we were

48:47

like your sexist, like the whole fucking system

48:50

of sexist. Um.

48:53

Yeah, so you're my dick with age?

48:55

Yeah, what's what's the correlation? Just it's

48:57

mostly just antidepress

49:00

So I don't know what is due to an antidepressant.

49:02

What's not? How long have you been on antidepressants

49:05

though? Fucking eighteen

49:07

years? Okay? And so you never

49:09

went through a period where you went off them for a little

49:11

while, because I know a lot of people on antidepressants

49:13

and sometimes they take like a yeah, but I never

49:16

very long, but not that long because

49:18

they work. So I don't want to I'm

49:20

not. I'm not gonna try to be a hero right

49:23

and do it well. A friend of mine who's

49:25

on the once described antidepressants

49:28

to me as going your whole life needing glasses

49:30

and not wearing them, and then one day you put glasses

49:32

on and you're like, oh my god, where have these been

49:34

in my life? Yeah? The first time I took antipressants,

49:37

I was like, oh, I said to somebody that was like, I

49:39

understand why people dance. It

49:42

sounds more poetic than it was. I was

49:44

like that, like I know, like

49:46

I literally it's but it was just like, oh, I

49:49

understand now, like I understand why it

49:51

was an innocent like you really like, oh okay, Now

49:53

I didn't understand that before. Now I have some understanding

49:55

of it. What led you up to to realizing

49:58

that you needed to go on them? Are you seeing a psychiatry that?

50:00

I was like cologist,

50:03

And it was just like things were going well

50:05

in my career. I remember like driving

50:07

out here and I was just sold

50:10

a script for a bunch of money, and I was like listening

50:12

in tears just like okay, just like tears

50:14

falling down my face, but not tears of joy, just like

50:16

okay, okay, and just like didn't mean

50:19

anything. Yeah, we ever suicidal

50:21

when you were on the presence? Not really,

50:23

okay, it's just more of a fucking it. It's

50:27

like not, I don't want to, you know. I

50:29

mean, my mom is severely depressed. I don't know, I've

50:31

seen her go through that, but HERR and I depressants

50:34

did almost the opposite of helping, Like they made her more

50:36

suicidal with that. Yeah, that happens. That

50:38

hasn't happened. So I have like this bad. So it's nice

50:41

to hear a successful antidepressant story

50:43

that they really worked for you. And they yeah,

50:45

they do. They've worked great for me, like a

50:47

bunch of different ones. But but I

50:49

wish, you know, I wish that

50:51

they worked better. I wish I

50:53

wish it at need and then I wish that they worked better. But

50:56

it's a hard thing of like deciding, you

50:59

know what, I'd rather. I

51:01

would rather be happy than be funny and successful.

51:04

But yeah, yeah,

51:06

but I'm not as happy as I'd like to be. Why

51:09

because brain,

51:12

Yeah, okay, have you ever been like

51:15

truly happy? Um

51:18

when like those moments? See the thing,

51:20

it's hard to discern between um

51:23

happy and adrenalized.

51:27

I think I would, I would do things that would get my journal

51:30

and going and be like, oh this is making me happy. And meanwhile,

51:32

looking back, it was like, no, you were just excited, like

51:34

you were just amped from this thing, but

51:37

you've obviously experienced joy to know that you

51:39

don't have it right Or

51:41

do you see other people? No, I see other people

51:43

might know. But those people aren't as happy as

51:45

you think they are. Yeah, they are because

51:47

they wouldn't be able to pretend that literally

51:49

wouldn't be Don't you think part of the reason is because you're

51:52

so intelligent. It's it that

51:54

hurts that. Like the smarter you are. I always think it's like,

51:56

the more fun up your life because you're because you

51:58

know the deal.

51:59

I agree. I

52:01

agree with that. I'm happy because I brush a lot of

52:03

ship under the rug. But I'm a very happy

52:05

person. But I also ignore bad things.

52:09

Sometimes affects me, sometimes it doesn't. It's like it's

52:11

a mechanism my brain uses. People

52:13

like Bill Gate seems pretty happy. He's a smart

52:15

dude. Um, it's not impossible,

52:17

it's just less likely. That's yeah. But I

52:20

don't know any miserable. I don't think scientists

52:22

are miserable. Scientists don't have the same

52:25

rep for being miserable like comics do. Did you

52:27

watch the documentary about Sam

52:30

who had My life?

52:32

According to Sam he had progeria?

52:35

Is that the Asian reverse thing? Yeah? I

52:38

mean I've seen it, yes, okay,

52:40

But I got to say I don't like

52:43

handicap ones. Sorry,

52:49

I don't like like progeria,

52:51

handicap It's a disease. I don't like disease,

52:53

you know, like Benjamin Button, motherfucker's. I like people

52:56

doing something weird or right,

52:58

like Man on Wire Perfect, that's

53:00

a great documentary. Did you see Crazy Love?

53:03

Yeah? Okay, but like people

53:05

being insane or interesting that I

53:08

like that. I

53:10

don't like fucking wasting away.

53:13

I can't. I just although there is another

53:18

he dies though, ye who

53:20

cares? He does? Think

53:22

he wasn't gonna die fucking grow up? Um

53:26

No, there's another. There's another Holocaust

53:29

documentary, you can believe

53:31

it called Hate

53:33

Those Nazis. Uh in

53:36

the Middle of the Nights, Still of the Night,

53:38

something of the night, when night falls,

53:40

that's what it's called. It's it's

53:42

on HBO. It's good. It's like more.

53:44

It's more Holocaust footage than you've ever, more

53:47

camp footage than you've ever, thank God,

53:51

in the mood like I've never like

53:53

I've never seen before you rughw

53:55

are you one of those people who like, see at yourself even

53:57

more sad like are you because because

54:02

no, I like, I like educating myself.

54:04

But I don't like, I don't.

54:06

I'm not like it's just a good

54:08

cry like I don't. That's not really my thing.

54:11

Okay, Oh I love a good cry. I don't cry.

54:13

I don't. Yeah,

54:17

the last time I cried. I

54:19

almost kind of teared up last night a

54:21

little bit at

54:26

the comedy store, a guy

54:29

uh in the like in the when you

54:31

go up the steps to the original

54:33

room and there's that ticket booth um.

54:35

There was a woman and a man and the man has

54:38

back to me and he just went like and

54:41

I was like what, I like thought they were having some kind

54:43

of weird fighter. He was just being like a drunk heckler.

54:46

And the woman starts going he's epileptic. He's

54:48

epileptic, and she catches him

54:50

and he's on the ground and he has a seizure. And

54:52

it was like I teared up a little bit because

54:54

it's like life is so fucking

54:57

unfair, Like they're just like, fuck

54:59

you, you get seizures, but I don't want to fuck

55:01

you. You get them. Like he's a

55:04

normal guy, nice wife

55:06

like and he just gets seizures.

55:08

Like that made me tear up a little bit.

55:10

Yeah, it's just straight up arm but but

55:13

but I didn't know.

55:16

I'm not even mocking you. That makes me correct. My

55:18

mom has seizures and get so you like like

55:20

handicaps in real life. But I love live

55:22

hands

55:24

not yeah, like

55:27

on tape, it loses a lot of it

55:29

degrades. It's just not the same. It's like music.

55:32

It's like the musical guests on SNL. You're if you're there,

55:35

it's but but some

55:37

of the now you got forward when you're watching

55:39

it on who I Fess More not

55:41

Kendrick Lamar Alabama

55:43

Shakes. That was a good performance. I guess sorry,

55:45

I'm so

55:48

so go ahead, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say,

55:50

so do you when

55:53

does your depression I mean it's pretty much nder

55:55

control. But does it affect your relationships in

55:57

a way that it's hard for the

56:00

I mean I've been handed because it's it's

56:04

kind of hard to to differentiate,

56:07

like what's depression, what's just my personality?

56:10

Um, but I hear you puzzle,

56:14

I think, uh yeah, like

56:16

I've been dating a girl and and

56:19

like it's the anti depressent thing

56:22

and sort of saying it's kind of like the

56:24

anti pressent I'm on now are killing

56:27

my sex drive. But I don't care because

56:29

I like them. I like the I like everything

56:31

else about it. So it's like one of the things sacrifice

56:34

that you're yeah, it's it's a sacrifice, so

56:36

like yeah, probably there and then the rest

56:38

of it's like, but there's never times where

56:40

like, rarely are the times where it's

56:42

like Daddy has to stay home, tod I

56:46

Daddy's gott go to his room. And I

56:48

hope that you say that's the people, though, yeah I do.

56:50

If ever you need a night alone, well,

56:53

do you ever have it that where you're a girl,

56:55

the girl you're seeing wants to funk you and you

56:57

just really don't want to and you get

56:59

mad or not mad, because

57:02

I feel like with girls it's so it's not as common

57:04

for them to get turned down and

57:06

you don't handle it well, not at all, because

57:09

it makes me so mad and it's

57:11

I hate that it makes me not want

57:13

to fuck. Not even

57:15

that it's like no, but

57:17

for me it's like what I want to have sex

57:20

now? Like I really get upset

57:23

because I'm like, what I'm horny, why

57:25

don't you want to? Like, it's almost like that's probably what a guy

57:27

thinks, what he gets tarred for sex the whole the time.

57:29

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, so now I sympathizes

57:32

guys are used to getting completely

57:34

used to it, although it's still you

57:36

get used to it, but it still sucks. And the

57:39

thing about the thing that the thing that I don't like,

57:41

like the way that sex are set up

57:43

is like it makes guys

57:46

super. That's the

57:48

the the basis

57:51

for all misogyny is you won't fuck

57:53

me. It's it's like

57:55

it's like I would say, it's like the Middle East where it's like, oh, these

57:58

fucking towel heads with their fucking and

58:00

then it's like, yeah, yeah, but you don't. It's

58:02

only because you need oil that you think the towelheads like

58:04

otherwise just regular people. So when girls

58:06

won't suck guys, it's like obviously leads

58:09

to rape, but it also leads to a lot of anger.

58:13

Well, yeah, because because anytime a girl gets

58:15

called like a fucking whore, it's

58:17

either because she won't fuck you, or you're

58:19

jealous that she's sucking all these people, or you're

58:22

intimidated in some way because when when women do at

58:24

women cannot win, women can't win

58:26

sexually. It's like you can't you're a whore, or

58:28

you're just better. Not even thank

58:31

you for recognizing that, because that's how it feels.

58:33

A lot of a

58:37

lot of guys don't ever will never understand

58:39

that. It's so frustrating because it's it becomes as that's

58:41

why that whole fucking cat calling video got so

58:43

out of hand and everyone freaked out about it because

58:46

guys were trying to say, well, not about

58:49

it. Yeah, I've been doing jokes about it based on kind

58:51

of what Michael Jay was saying and another

58:53

buddy of mine were saying, like like

58:55

actual conversations I had. I'm like, you

58:58

don't the difference between

59:01

what women go through and what just a guy

59:03

or even a famous guy goes through was their

59:06

chances of you getting raped are nil.

59:08

Yeah, the chance of a woman getting rape are

59:11

fucking fantastic. Chase is just getting annoyed.

59:13

Yeah, annoyance, fine, Yeah, fine,

59:15

take annoyed like that. Annoy It's fine,

59:18

I said. I also said, no guy the other day, it's like getting

59:20

tickled everywhere you go. It's just like annoying.

59:22

It's fucking like, dude, stop fucking tickling

59:25

me, Like, I know you kind of mean, well, but

59:28

it's there's something aggressive about it and

59:30

it's super aggregated. Well, it's hard to talk to

59:32

comics about that stuff because we had

59:34

chay On a couple of weeks ago and we talked to him about that,

59:36

but he and he's still he was just being so jokey

59:39

that you couldn't really talk to Like some comics can't

59:41

talk about issues seriously, and there's this weird fine

59:43

line between you can't have a sense of humor and talk

59:46

about something seriously. It's weird. And

59:48

also like fucking blogsphere

59:50

is ruining everything, just

59:52

life in general, but comedy. Like

59:55

Amy Schumer got criticized over a hilarious

59:57

tweet that was not even It was the most miniscule,

59:59

little, tiny little joke about

1:00:02

a red carpet hashtag encouraging

1:00:04

people to a stop asking women about their

1:00:06

dresses and start asking him about, you know, the

1:00:09

role and how they felt about the role. And she tweeted

1:00:12

like a really funny joke, and this blogger was like, I

1:00:14

like Amy Schumer, but this

1:00:15

was yeah, like cops

1:00:19

or they're fucking trying to be heroes or

1:00:21

something, because there's no way you can truly be offended

1:00:23

by that. You cannot call yourself a fan of Commy. You just

1:00:25

go I'm offended. Someone may get

1:00:27

offended by that, so therefore I'm

1:00:30

offended. It's like, No, That's the thing

1:00:32

I always point out is like, um,

1:00:34

you know who was like the it's

1:00:37

white liberals. I think that,

1:00:39

like they did it for black people for a long time, and say

1:00:41

black people they will be all right without you, they

1:00:43

can they know what they're offended by. Yeah, um,

1:00:46

like you don't have to police ship for

1:00:48

them. Uh, but yeah, it's it's

1:00:50

it's so pitiful. I

1:00:52

don't even like talking about it because it makes

1:00:54

me I mean, like they're they're

1:00:57

they're part of me. Thinks it like does advance

1:00:59

the the discourse in terms of

1:01:01

like you know, African

1:01:04

American ship like that like actually kind

1:01:06

of helped got gay people

1:01:08

rights and and and more,

1:01:11

you know, more rights, particularly I mean

1:01:13

gay married ship like that, like is that's kind

1:01:15

of a Bloggs theory issue. So it does have

1:01:17

real world it can help repercussions,

1:01:19

but at the same time, it's fucking corny.

1:01:22

A ship. Yeah, but

1:01:24

you just have to know you just ignore

1:01:26

it because like I know, I know

1:01:28

what I mean. It's like I got in trouble

1:01:30

for what I get in trouble for most recently, Oh

1:01:33

I got in trouble. It's stupid. But but yeah,

1:01:35

you just get in trouble. You just got it'll be over a day.

1:01:38

Yeah, I don't give it. But it's also

1:01:40

like people are allowed to get offended and they

1:01:42

don't have to like wave a white flag like well,

1:01:44

you know what it is. It's Cole's entertainment

1:01:47

is It's like it's like comedy, drama,

1:01:51

offense. Yeah, it's like a new

1:01:53

way to get It's like a new form of entertainment.

1:01:55

Like it's a new feeling of like fucking

1:01:58

uh sanctimony, Like I

1:02:00

I have a Like it really is like you

1:02:02

just go for there should be a theater. You

1:02:04

just get offended, like I never did it,

1:02:07

like get it all out. People love it.

1:02:09

They love it. Well, you know, you hit on something really interesting.

1:02:11

You said, you know black people know what they're funded

1:02:13

by because we we anytime we get

1:02:15

the racial any time we talk about race

1:02:18

issue, we always had a lot of feedback

1:02:20

and it's always from white people who are always

1:02:23

not always,

1:02:27

but but yeah, black people get better

1:02:29

ship to worry about man. And the same as when you're performing

1:02:31

like comedy. I feel like any time I'm doing

1:02:33

anything that's even like borderline

1:02:35

considered offensive in a room in Brooklyn

1:02:37

with a bunch of white hipsters, they're all silent.

1:02:39

But then I literally will go to the Bronx,

1:02:42

walk over the bridge from Harlan to the Bronx and perform.

1:02:44

Everyone's on stitches because they don't give

1:02:46

a fuck, do you know you? I

1:02:49

mean you, yeah, I do black rooms. Yeah,

1:02:51

and you just have to set it up right, I mean you just It's

1:02:54

like but but there is also a

1:02:56

thing of like if they don't people

1:02:58

like all comics or whatever, all comedy

1:03:00

rooms like they go. I

1:03:03

did Meltdown the other night, and I was like, did I not affirm

1:03:06

your beliefs? Like you come

1:03:08

to get your beliefs affirm not comedy.

1:03:10

They literally me and me and

1:03:13

Jim Gaffigan we're talking about one time at Meltdown,

1:03:15

I was like, all right, so what so here we

1:03:17

can't shoot on um

1:03:20

women or uh,

1:03:23

like there's a list of things you can't But

1:03:25

and then that you can't. But you can shoot

1:03:28

on creed. You can't funk with everyone.

1:03:30

Yeah, you can shoot on people's taste,

1:03:33

but you can't shoot on their beliefs

1:03:36

or something. It's it's like, it's fucking stupid. It's

1:03:39

just it's random, and it's people are

1:03:41

basically the same. They just funneling

1:03:43

into different ways of hating. I

1:03:45

know everyone wants to get pissed at each other. I hate

1:03:47

it be getting offended.

1:03:49

It's kind of fun. It's kind of like I love being

1:03:51

in a comedy club and feeling it's adrenaline. I've

1:03:54

heard jokes about just at

1:03:57

the most anti women jokes that are fucking

1:03:59

hilariou is and it's kind of fun

1:04:01

to get to cross that line because

1:04:03

you're in a safe space. You're in a comedy

1:04:05

club. Oh

1:04:08

he's turning on the lights, mood lighting. You

1:04:13

can't do rape jokes, It's like, yeah you can, you

1:04:15

can, Daniel Tosh, that's a fucking excellent rape

1:04:18

joke. I used to do a great rape joke. I

1:04:20

love Yeah, I love Tasha's rape. Um,

1:04:22

but but yeah, you just so Yeah. It's

1:04:24

like people that say that ship it's like, well, your chances

1:04:26

are you're not funny and

1:04:28

and also you don't you're

1:04:31

you're not in comedy, So get out of here. We

1:04:33

don't need you. We're fine without. If only you've been around

1:04:35

with Richard Pryor how much better he could have been,

1:04:38

Um you could how much you could have taught him about

1:04:40

fucking um sensitivity.

1:04:43

Um. So yeah, so that's that's Yeah.

1:04:46

I don't even like talking about because it's so fucking it's

1:04:48

annoying, so corny. It's like getting

1:04:51

mad about the weather or something. Yeah, you don't want to do you don't

1:04:53

want to put more recognition in the to

1:04:56

the issue. It's about sex,

1:05:00

back to back to fuck it. Well, I think there's an

1:05:02

interesting transition here. You taught you do a lot of

1:05:04

stand up where you kind of you

1:05:06

talk about women, how they feel, what they

1:05:09

do. I feel like, unlike a lot of other

1:05:11

stand up means you actually have a pretty good grasp on

1:05:14

how women are actually thinking. Where do you feel

1:05:16

like that came from? Um?

1:05:18

I had like sisters, so I think that's

1:05:21

part of it. There was a point where I like,

1:05:23

I was sort of it was me and my mom

1:05:25

and one of my sisters, so I would kind

1:05:27

of just no, it's

1:05:30

well, partly it's that's probably like the

1:05:33

the beginning of it. And then and

1:05:35

then uh, it's

1:05:37

there's just ship where I can't believe how

1:05:39

different men and women are. I

1:05:41

can't fucking believe it. Like like

1:05:44

like well, like Gary Shandling did a joke where he's like, they're

1:05:46

not different, they're the opposite

1:05:48

sex. It's like it's not just sort

1:05:50

of like just the perception

1:05:53

of ship, and like the sensitivity to things

1:05:55

and like, wo, men have this beautiful

1:05:57

simplicity to them that I admire

1:06:00

and and respect so much and I wish

1:06:02

I had it. And that's why I love being around men,

1:06:04

because I really appreciate it's like a weight lifted

1:06:07

off. Because women worry about every

1:06:09

little thing. We'll never forget

1:06:11

something you said to us. I know the amount

1:06:13

of worrying you do. You're constantly

1:06:15

worried about fifteen things, like

1:06:18

and real worry. That's why I says so easy

1:06:20

to scare women, because you're so fucking

1:06:22

freaked out.

1:06:25

I had a girl, uh sleep,

1:06:27

who was a friend of my girlfriends at the

1:06:29

time, and she in

1:06:32

my place in New York and she was staying over.

1:06:34

I had two bedrooms and she was in the other bedroom

1:06:36

and there was like a big like coffee

1:06:39

table book on her bed and

1:06:41

it fell off. It was an air mattress, so it wasn't

1:06:43

it was like eight inches and

1:06:46

the the

1:06:49

coffee table book fell off her air mattress.

1:06:51

She was asleep, it hit

1:06:53

the ground and she immediately woke up and goes hell.

1:06:57

It was just the amount of reaction time,

1:07:00

like I like, I'm

1:07:02

a danger Yeah, like help, I

1:07:04

mean the girl we're staying with, who's apartment?

1:07:06

We're saying, which she gave us her keys? And there's a right whistle

1:07:08

on it? Yeah, and we're like what

1:07:11

but like rape the thing? That kind of scary?

1:07:16

Yeah, I would barely if

1:07:19

you heard a whistle? Would you think someone's

1:07:21

getting raised? Somewhere in Los Angeles? If I heard

1:07:23

a rape whistle and be like, huh, what is

1:07:25

it? What does the rape whistles sound like? I don't

1:07:27

know. That's a great point. I got

1:07:30

sound if we gotta blow it,

1:07:32

it's in my purse. Wait wait, I'm

1:07:34

curiously because it has to be a certain whistle

1:07:37

because no one's going to answer to like ael

1:07:39

like sound like some Merry Poppins

1:07:41

police ship. Hopefully, I hope this hopefully

1:07:43

it goes I'm getting great. Does she have her

1:07:45

bees? No? I

1:07:48

mean I don't. Actually I don't go right up to the mic.

1:07:50

Sound crazy, it's exciting. Yeah,

1:07:53

it's actually shaped like a little fucking twitter burst

1:07:55

so that no one will know what's a rape whistle. So

1:07:58

it's like this girl's savvy is ready.

1:08:02

Oh you're getting rape girl, You are getting

1:08:05

right basketball

1:08:07

practice. Just start your dog like that. He came

1:08:09

right away.

1:08:13

Are you guys running laps or rape? Well,

1:08:18

a rape Keith is going to come and run

1:08:20

after us and save us. He's the only

1:08:22

one responding to the weight to the rape

1:08:24

whistle. That's the dog. He's going to

1:08:26

lick the rapist face. And yeah, no,

1:08:28

I know. He's so sweet. He would never hurt anybody.

1:08:32

I always thought, like, because rape is a real fear

1:08:34

that I have, But it's I'm so used to it

1:08:36

that I'm not even alarmed by it. You know, I'm not

1:08:38

even alarmed by the fact that I if I if

1:08:41

like I'm outside and I'm wearing something like

1:08:43

a short skirt, and I'm I'm

1:08:45

like, Okay, I can't take the subway, I can't take a bus.

1:08:47

I'm not gonna walk I gotta I gotta take a cab, but you

1:08:50

yeah, okay. I mean I've been followed

1:08:53

before on the streets and stuff, not a ton, but

1:08:55

someone would be so sorry if they tried

1:08:58

to. That's what I see. That's what I think because I've huge

1:09:00

anger problem. So I'm like, someone

1:09:02

thinks they could rape me, they got another thing coming.

1:09:04

I don't. I don't have an angry problem,

1:09:06

but my mom, would you used to refer to me as

1:09:08

the Ransom of Red Chief? Like which is you

1:09:10

know it's in summary, it's

1:09:12

a story about a kid who gets kidnapped and need such

1:09:14

a fucking nightmare that the people kidnapped, And I

1:09:19

feel like that's if anyone to me,

1:09:21

Well, I mean, someone has a joke, is it, Lynn Coplex?

1:09:24

I think it has a joke, Like if I was if

1:09:26

someone tried to rape me, I hug him. Yeah, I like

1:09:28

you like that rapist, You're gonna be mine now.

1:09:31

And I thought that was the best way to handle a rape. Just

1:09:33

pretend that you love him, because that takes the control

1:09:35

back to you. And rape is just a it's a power.

1:09:38

That's why the documentary

1:09:40

about of course, yes, yes, of course, no, please

1:09:43

tell us. Is it not true?

1:09:45

A woman kind of tried that and it

1:09:48

was on video and tried to hug

1:09:50

a rapist. She basically it's

1:09:52

really interesting. Let me get my phone that

1:09:54

Yeah, we need to know the name of the secumentary. I'll just

1:09:56

melodically blow the way freak. We're

1:10:00

It'll be worth it.

1:10:02

It's like I'll keep going, I'm gonna keep recording.

1:10:04

I'll just have one. Sorry,

1:10:09

Keith, I love you. I

1:10:13

love that

1:10:15

A good dog you

1:10:19

are so I

1:10:21

want Keith Anderson to play you

1:10:23

would love each other. M thank

1:10:29

you for saving me from that rape. It

1:10:31

wasn't keep the shoot. Um.

1:10:37

A guy named Billy Corbin directed

1:10:39

it. Are you recording? Yes? Okay,

1:10:42

you name Billy Corbin, who's a good dude.

1:10:45

He directed a bunch of sports documentaries

1:10:47

that you guys wouldn't like. I hate him. Um

1:10:50

do you know him? Are you so interducting? I

1:10:53

know him on Twitter? Think of course we're

1:10:56

Twitter. Yeah, yeah,

1:11:01

he did. It's called Oh

1:11:05

yeah, raw deal, that's what it's called. It's

1:11:08

on video. It's not crazy, but

1:11:11

but it's it was from nine.

1:11:14

He made it in two thousand one. But like

1:11:16

a stripper got raped at at

1:11:19

frat house, University of Florida, and

1:11:22

they videotaped it, but it was one of those

1:11:24

things. She was kind of challenging the guys and she was

1:11:26

fucked up, and it's one of these things,

1:11:29

yeah, tucked up and challenging

1:11:31

them like, oh you man, you big

1:11:33

tough man. Are you gonna do my

1:11:35

legs apart? Yeah, you can do that whatever.

1:11:38

Like it's kind of like weird, like weird

1:11:40

stripper ship, honestly, And then they

1:11:43

they had he one guy said it

1:11:45

was just it's fucking c they held

1:11:47

her down. I mean, they had

1:11:50

kind of it's all this kind of

1:11:52

ship, like it's you'll definitely she

1:11:56

it was I consider it rape. But

1:11:58

like the cops didn't the I

1:12:01

don't know, it didn't go to jury trout. But it's really

1:12:03

interesting because it's like the

1:12:05

the the the

1:12:07

line is the line is so blue. Yeah, I mean even

1:12:09

when it's not, even when it does seem obvious,

1:12:12

everybody else, like the courts or the police

1:12:15

don't give a ship. I mean, campus right busy because you

1:12:17

know why, because sex is fucking super complicated,

1:12:20

you know what I mean, Like even just the idea of like

1:12:22

rough just the idea that there is rough

1:12:25

sex that people like confuses

1:12:27

other people confuses the whole thing. When

1:12:29

I saw the article about guy rapes girl

1:12:31

because he said fifty shades Gray made

1:12:34

him do it, I knew that was coming because

1:12:36

I knew people are going to see that movie, which

1:12:38

was tame in my mind and good idea, and

1:12:40

say, well, that's what they want, I'm going to do

1:12:43

it. And it's like, no, like talk

1:12:45

about it. You can talk about it, but also, you

1:12:47

know what women saying, just don't talk about

1:12:49

it's sexy, like there's I have to agree with

1:12:51

you. I understand

1:12:53

Christina loves talking about stuff before well, I

1:12:55

fucking hate but a three way was ruined

1:12:58

for us, for me because we talked

1:13:00

about it because I was like, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to

1:13:02

do it. If we're all gonna funk, I just want us all to

1:13:04

be in a room and decide to funk. And then that's

1:13:06

the women thing of like surprise me. Okay,

1:13:09

just so except I can go to but not like

1:13:12

that. Yeah exactly right. Well yeah, so

1:13:14

do you have a lot of guests we've had on me. All guests

1:13:16

are very sensitive to like a girl using

1:13:19

them a rape yeah, they're they're very paranoid about

1:13:21

the rapes. I'm not sensitive at all. Well,

1:13:24

do you do you have like a world like how many

1:13:26

super if if if

1:13:28

a girl's like maybe, I'm like no, thank you,

1:13:30

Like I don't it's got to be like that goes back to that sex.

1:13:33

I don't. I think I don't want it to be like a well,

1:13:35

having sex with a hesitant person. Yeah,

1:13:38

like just like or someone that's documents

1:13:41

knows what they like. Someone who knows

1:13:43

how I have an orgasm is another thing of like I don't

1:13:45

want to, like I've never don't know

1:13:47

how to. So you don't like that, you

1:13:50

like you like when the girl knows exact points you

1:13:52

in the direction you don't like you

1:13:54

got if you got notes, give it to me. But but

1:13:57

like it's just more about like she

1:13:59

no, she can get off on top

1:14:01

or whatever, Like she knows she can get, she

1:14:04

can get, she can get hers, she

1:14:06

can get she

1:14:09

knows how to get hers, Like like you met a

1:14:11

girl who knows how to get her? Yeah, do you know

1:14:13

how to get yours? Yeah? I can get

1:14:15

mine. It's so easy. Yeah, not

1:14:19

really When you do,

1:14:21

do you do it in your brain like

1:14:24

thoughts. What kind of porn

1:14:26

do you like? It's literally

1:14:28

something different every night, all

1:14:30

right, Like if there's on the homepage

1:14:33

like top rated, Oh yeah, blow drop

1:14:36

blow. I don't understand blow

1:14:39

jobs being an attractive thing to watch. Important when

1:14:41

they choke on the dick, I

1:14:43

think that they look like they're like power

1:14:47

is so huge power

1:14:50

and you're so committed, you're a

1:14:53

so sexualized

1:14:55

that you're willing to look

1:14:57

like die and

1:15:00

you're so fucking geeked off dick that

1:15:04

you like,

1:15:06

you're so like you're willing to fucking choke

1:15:08

and splobber all over yourself and

1:15:11

you're that and like this so

1:15:14

your dude, Like it goes to the violence

1:15:16

thing. That's the other thing. It just goes it

1:15:18

speaks to the violence thing. It's like, what do you think

1:15:20

there's no physical sensation to

1:15:23

coming on a girl's face. It's not

1:15:25

physically better power

1:15:30

like windshield wipers. Ladies do hate

1:15:32

get and come on your face and it just like pops up and

1:15:34

just goes like, oh, that's not like a like a

1:15:36

come squeeze, squeeze that kind of

1:15:38

bad idea. Idea, that's

1:15:41

not a bad idea, But do you find that attractive

1:15:43

when a girl's choking on a dick in porn. When you when you are

1:15:45

in the mood to watch porn, uh,

1:15:47

it just goes to that like craz

1:15:51

yeah, just so geeked off that. Have

1:15:53

you ever watched anything in porn that made

1:15:55

you take a step back and reflect on your life?

1:15:57

Like, Okay, I've gone I need to take a moment. I've gone

1:15:59

too far with this. I see. Well I'm lucky in that, Like

1:16:02

I don't think like barely legal

1:16:04

is super hot, you know what I mean? Like I like women

1:16:07

like um yeah, and again that's

1:16:09

just like very legal. I

1:16:12

like very much, very extremely

1:16:14

legal and geeked

1:16:16

off that straight geeked

1:16:18

um. Uh. Yeah, I'm

1:16:21

trying to I feel like I have, but I can't

1:16:23

think of what it is. Like I know I'm recognizing

1:16:25

a feeling of like, oh I wish I hadn't seen lacked

1:16:27

it out. Oh god, I blocked things out. I mean,

1:16:29

I've seen there's some rough ship that you're just

1:16:31

like, dude, like the hanging from the hooks

1:16:34

like that, just like that's more of a fetish though.

1:16:36

Yeah, Like I've seen that because

1:16:38

the girl I was dating was into that ship, so it was kind

1:16:40

of like okay, hooks,

1:16:43

no, not looks per se, but a whole

1:16:45

thing and fucking just all that

1:16:47

ship. And it's like I finally kind

1:16:49

of convinced her. I'm like, you know, this isn't coming

1:16:51

from a healthy place, like just

1:16:53

so you're clear, but do you feel like it's always

1:16:55

coming from an unhealthy place? And

1:16:58

I like get or something, But I don't

1:17:00

think that's I mean, I don't have any daddy issue. Like I

1:17:02

like things in bed that I could think a person

1:17:04

would could easily throw at me, like stuff

1:17:07

about like just treating yourself like garbage.

1:17:09

That's not that that that's not like

1:17:11

it stopped being sexual at a certain point. Yeah,

1:17:14

sometimes though humiliation turns me on, like be feeling

1:17:16

humiliated, it turns not in an extreme way where

1:17:18

I'm like throw a chair at me and on my

1:17:20

face, you know, like that I feel like a little

1:17:23

extreme yeah, which again goes

1:17:25

to that rape conversation, which is like, yeah,

1:17:27

hold my shoulders down and bury my

1:17:29

face in the mattress and the pillow, but

1:17:32

fucking don't. But then don't

1:17:34

do this. It's like I can do this well,

1:17:37

you know, but with certain guys that like I feel like

1:17:39

when I met Steve and my boyfriend, and

1:17:41

I just developed this instant trust

1:17:43

with him. But I'm like, you are a gentle kind

1:17:46

man and you would never do anything to

1:17:48

hurt me, And so I would say, like, I want you to

1:17:50

wake me up in the morning and just start having sex with me. Don't

1:17:52

don't wait until I'm awake, just start doing it,

1:17:55

and like kind of morning we call morning rape,

1:17:57

um, which is not No one

1:18:00

get any ideas from that. We talked about it

1:18:02

beforehand, but you

1:18:05

talked about it once. We talked about it the night and I

1:18:07

got talk about the night before. Well, well the

1:18:09

first couple of times it happened because I want

1:18:11

a morning right. He wouldn't have done that unless I

1:18:13

had been like, hey, can you do this? And if he was

1:18:15

into it, then she is and so there you

1:18:17

go. But it's weird, you know, But the

1:18:19

consent thing is part of the Also,

1:18:22

here's another thing. Women have rape fantasies.

1:18:24

I know that weird. That's a fucking that's a weird

1:18:27

thing that there's a lot, you know what I mean, Like, that's

1:18:29

it's just a very great The rape fantasy

1:18:31

always takes place in an environment

1:18:33

where they don't actually feel like their life is threatened.

1:18:36

I agree, but yeah, knowing that,

1:18:38

no woman's like have a rape fantasy like

1:18:41

in an alley. It's like in my boudoir. Yeah,

1:18:43

it's always in a bed sometimes,

1:18:46

you know. Like and I'm not saying none of

1:18:48

this makes rape just viable, but I'm saying it makes the

1:18:50

trials. It's the complications

1:18:53

makes it. Yeah, Okay,

1:18:55

um that if I'm not saying it's women's

1:18:57

fault, that's what I'm saying for happening. Thank you? Yes, soundclip.

1:19:01

What's the most sexually adventurous

1:19:04

thing you've ever done? Um

1:19:13

with the girl with just like the fucking

1:19:15

tying up and that ship. Do

1:19:18

you like that? Do you like? I like, yeah,

1:19:20

it was it was. I liked that she liked

1:19:22

it. I can, I like saw a

1:19:25

way in. But I realized, like I then when I

1:19:27

stopped dating her and I dated other girls, I

1:19:29

started kind of bringing into that. It was like, it's

1:19:32

just her thing, man like, so

1:19:34

the other person wasn't into it, uh

1:19:37

no, like I wouldn't go very

1:19:39

far with it, but it was just like, oh, yeah, that's

1:19:41

right, it's not for because yeah,

1:19:43

because I feel like it's every person is obviously

1:19:45

different sexually, but also every combination

1:19:47

of people is completely different, Like you and

1:19:49

that girl are going to be completely different with that girl and somebody

1:19:51

else. Another problem with sex is there's

1:19:54

no like, there's no when

1:19:56

people grow you good in bed, I'm like sometimes

1:19:59

no, that's very true though, Like sometimes I'm

1:20:01

having sex with someone, I'm just like, oh, this is awful

1:20:04

and I'm not doing a good job, and you're not doing

1:20:06

a good Jobah, well, that's the chemistry is off. But

1:20:08

in general, if I was to say do I do

1:20:10

a good job? I would say yes, But it's not always.

1:20:14

Fundamentally you're good, but

1:20:16

you can get in situations right where

1:20:19

you're not your best. What's

1:20:22

the worst sex you've ever had? Like? What? What was

1:20:24

it? Like? It's just fucking It's

1:20:26

just embarrassing. It's just like this,

1:20:28

this is embarrassing and fucking How

1:20:31

do you end? How do you do you

1:20:33

pretend to you? Like? How do you end that? Never? I've

1:20:35

never Generally it's like you just lose an

1:20:37

erection and then it's just like okay, and then

1:20:39

you kind of can't down. Rara does

1:20:42

a funny joke about girls can

1:20:44

pretend to be fake they

1:20:46

fake fake orgaths, but guys can't.

1:20:49

If we're not turned on, you can be like you're

1:20:51

not hard and you can be like yeah, yeah, nothing

1:20:54

you can do. It's like fucking straight out.

1:20:57

So you just kind of go like then you just

1:20:59

have to start make excuse of like I'm on a lot

1:21:01

of messine and because

1:21:04

it makes it less awkward because it's like, well it's you,

1:21:06

so yeah it is, and and

1:21:08

yeah, it's like whether you know it's you or not.

1:21:11

There's also I've had there were women that I

1:21:13

dated that like, you ever just run out

1:21:15

of chemistry? Yeah, like we

1:21:18

have nothing fucking And the

1:21:20

girl actually said like, oh, do we not have chemistry

1:21:22

anymore? And I was like no, that's insane, And then I

1:21:24

was like, oh, we totally don't have. I kind of like though,

1:21:26

that's in my experience, that's the

1:21:28

most pleasant way for a relationship to end. It just kind of actually,

1:21:32

so no one's sad trying

1:21:34

to fucking everybody loses. Yeah,

1:21:37

it's kind of better when everybody loves everybody. It's

1:21:39

like the beginning of You've Got mail. You know. They were just

1:21:41

like my grounds, I don't love you anymore anything, I don't

1:21:43

love you anymore. It's like, this is which

1:21:46

couple was that? Meg Ryan and whoever she's didating

1:21:48

in the beginning Gregg Kneer, I think it is. I

1:21:51

really like that. Do you watch? Uh?

1:21:56

I have Me and Whitney Commings just wrote around

1:21:58

come and there's a joke in it where

1:22:01

for like a rough sex joke where the guy doesn't know

1:22:04

what the line is so he sticks his wife's head

1:22:06

in the toilet and

1:22:08

the producers like, you have to cut this. I'm like, dude, that's

1:22:10

the fucking funniest thing in You're

1:22:13

out of your mind, well, especially right now, because

1:22:15

you don't know what some women want. Women are

1:22:17

being more vocal about wanting rougher things. Sometimes

1:22:19

you don't know, and then it's so much. It's so you

1:22:21

know the thing that I've been in the game, the game for

1:22:23

like over twenty years. Yeah,

1:22:26

you have like girls that didn't

1:22:28

I always say this people girls didn't see

1:22:30

porn before two thousand one, never

1:22:32

fucking ever. Yeah, but some

1:22:35

women have seen then everybody saw

1:22:37

it, and some women are like that ain't me

1:22:39

and someone were like, oh I can do that. And

1:22:41

it helps out younger.

1:22:43

Younger women are more way more sexually

1:22:46

adventurous and open than than women

1:22:48

because it's yeah, because it's presented to them as

1:22:50

a thing that has some women, are

1:22:52

that an option exactly? Yeah, but a lot

1:22:54

of porn one before, Yeah,

1:22:58

I hate that. But and then I'm like, I don't know

1:23:00

how to make it less horrifying. Like I don't want a plot.

1:23:03

I don't need a plot. I don't need romance in the porn.

1:23:05

Apparently Tumbler has a lot of nice,

1:23:09

female friendly porn. I just

1:23:11

do a joke with a friend of mine who's like a professor

1:23:14

of colombie where she was there was something on campus

1:23:16

where they were saying

1:23:19

they were doing porn. They want a porn

1:23:21

that wasn't offensive to women. And I was like, if it's not offensive

1:23:23

to women, it's not porn. And she said,

1:23:25

and she goes, she goes, Yes, sex is

1:23:27

offensive to women, And I was like, sex

1:23:30

is violence against women. It's controlled

1:23:33

violence, but it's fucking yeah,

1:23:36

it's just you're like yanking a woman

1:23:38

in a in a good way, but it's still

1:23:41

you're a lot of times contact,

1:23:44

it's a lot of contact and women. Yeah,

1:23:47

and it's hard to having someone enter you. Life

1:23:49

is different when someone enters you versus you entering

1:23:51

somebody. It's it's hard to vary when

1:23:53

does contact become violence

1:23:56

or collision or you know what I mean, it's like hard. I'm

1:23:59

this is a about his pro rape. But we're gonna hear me.

1:24:03

Have you ever done a rape fantasy with a girl?

1:24:06

No? Okay, would you be to

1:24:08

it? That's not that she would want it my

1:24:12

rape fantasy? Yes, anything

1:24:16

fantasy, And I don't

1:24:18

um the no

1:24:22

I had what I

1:24:24

what if a woman was like I only to smack me in the face.

1:24:27

Oh yeah, I've done that. Okay, yeah, like

1:24:29

that was that? Yeah, But he's still

1:24:32

he's still thinking about the rape thing. I'm

1:24:35

not thinking what I yeah,

1:24:38

get yeah, she was with it? I

1:24:40

would I mean, I don't you see what done?

1:24:43

Like a lot of role playing? That seems a little

1:24:46

because I would feel like an asshole, Like I can't. Sex

1:24:49

is so serious for me. I don't laugh, I don't, I

1:24:51

don't, I don't smile. But like, sex is

1:24:53

serious time. Every life is for play.

1:24:55

Sex, sex is for I always

1:24:57

tell people it's such a big it is a big deal. How

1:25:00

many But you don't really seem like the way you're talking

1:25:02

about don't. You don't. Well, okay, so there's

1:25:04

like a lot of high stakes, but you don't seem like it's

1:25:06

very you don't seem like it's a huge

1:25:09

factor in your life. Well,

1:25:14

it goes. But it also is like where

1:25:20

I'm like where I'm starting to realize,

1:25:22

like the idea of using uh

1:25:27

it's like scoring ego points,

1:25:30

like that's part of sex. I know, but

1:25:32

I don't, but I don't. Like I'm trying

1:25:34

to trying to separate

1:25:37

the two, trying to separate like I'm

1:25:39

trying not to do it for like just a funk,

1:25:41

because first of all, because people

1:25:43

get their feelings hurt really easily, and which

1:25:46

is not fun to be a part of. And then

1:25:48

also I'm realizing, like I don't even

1:25:50

like the person. I'm just doing it

1:25:52

as like to get a point, and

1:25:54

I don't I don't need any, but

1:25:57

I'd rather do it to get off. I

1:25:59

mean, getting getting off and when you're having

1:26:01

sex is more fun than jerking

1:26:03

off, right, agreed. But it's a lot

1:26:05

of responsibility. Yeah, A

1:26:09

that that's nice. That's the thing that's not fun about

1:26:11

it. It's like, dude, you can only like upset

1:26:13

so many people, but there are a

1:26:15

lot of So you've never met a woman who just really

1:26:17

wants casual sex and nothing else, Like have you have

1:26:19

you done like the not even

1:26:21

necessarily one night stand, but a woman who's just like, hey,

1:26:24

if you want to funk, I would love to fuck. Yeah.

1:26:27

I mean I've gotten that offer, but it wasn't

1:26:29

I don't think it was with anybody I wanted to do that

1:26:31

way, but like I've had yeah, but

1:26:33

it But for the most part, it's that hacky

1:26:36

thing of they catch feelings and

1:26:38

and then you you know, then they're upset

1:26:40

and it's like the happening, Like it happens

1:26:43

enough that it's like fun. I'm

1:26:45

not driving that way. It's just it's

1:26:48

just like I was clear, and

1:26:50

then we'll see. But I think women need to own up

1:26:52

to that more because if the guy is clear, I think

1:26:55

men need to own up to more being

1:26:57

communicating and be like, look, I don't want but is

1:27:01

just that catching feelings. You can't control it,

1:27:03

that's true, but you shouldn't be mad at the guy

1:27:06

or girl whatever, but you can

1:27:08

be clear and then and then women will

1:27:10

create a The women that I've dealt

1:27:12

with will create like they'll

1:27:15

get the one shred of like, but you's

1:27:17

clear and it's like okay. But for the

1:27:19

most part, if I don't fuck you for

1:27:21

a certain amount of time or then we're just friends.

1:27:24

Or if I do fuck you and I say I don't want

1:27:26

a relationship, then that's that's

1:27:28

that's me for my word. But the

1:27:30

fact of the matter is it's like if you're having an argument

1:27:32

about why don't you like me? More like just step

1:27:34

away, like it's not worth it fight

1:27:36

someone like why don't you like me? More

1:27:39

like that, because get so caught up in the

1:27:41

feet, in the crush or the whatever it is.

1:27:43

That's hard though, pushing them to do. If somebody doesn't

1:27:45

like you that much and you

1:27:48

have sex with them and then they're cool

1:27:50

with like yeah, we just fucked and you're like, but I really

1:27:52

like you. It's like that that's on you. That's

1:27:55

on you to take care of. But it's so hard. What

1:27:57

I find is that the older I get, absolutely

1:28:00

the more I find myself almost

1:28:02

playing defense against women's own

1:28:07

Like in some ways it's like babysitting in a weird way

1:28:09

where it's like, no, this is this is not

1:28:11

going to work, Like the thing that you're pitching right

1:28:13

now is not going to work because I've been in

1:28:15

enough situation. If I thought

1:28:17

it was going to end up being nothing, I would happily, but

1:28:19

like I know how it goes. Yeah,

1:28:22

and like you may not want to own up

1:28:24

to it. I wish more women.

1:28:26

Do you wish more women would own up to Like yeah,

1:28:28

but it's because there's no solution though.

1:28:31

I think some of some women, especially to young

1:28:33

women, think they're stronger than they really

1:28:35

are as far as being able

1:28:37

to be emotionless well, and also

1:28:39

the willpower. I feel like my experience guys

1:28:41

if it's so much more willpower if they have a crush

1:28:44

and and I'm like no, and

1:28:46

they're they're like okay, Like it's it's more of

1:28:48

a but if you tell me if I have a crush

1:28:50

on you and you're like no, no, no, I'm like, but

1:28:52

what do you what do you mean? And I kind

1:28:54

of chase it a little. We live in rejection,

1:28:58

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Like it like

1:29:00

a different world and constant. I

1:29:02

mean you guys live in judgment. We live in actual

1:29:06

actual Like no, that's

1:29:10

very do you guys live in like constantly

1:29:12

fucking fear? Oh judge?

1:29:15

No, nothing, but do was right? Have you have you ever

1:29:17

had someone try to have sex with you to

1:29:19

get to get ahead in their career?

1:29:23

Um, like

1:29:25

but if you have sex like

1:29:27

a long time ago, like and

1:29:30

she was like, you know, there's an old joke like

1:29:33

the Polish girl who came to Hollywood

1:29:35

and fun the writer um

1:29:39

Polished. There used to be a joke trope where

1:29:41

Polish women were considered stupid Polish

1:29:44

people of all types of Polish submarine

1:29:47

went the screen door. Oh

1:29:49

yeah, but no,

1:29:52

yeah, like I'm trying to think there's

1:29:54

now because people it's so obvious.

1:29:57

It's like, are you going to trick

1:30:00

me? No? No, I mean not even trick you.

1:30:02

I mean but some people just outwardly accept

1:30:04

it, like knowing that a girl is sucking

1:30:06

them to get something, but they don't care and they're happy because

1:30:09

they're suck famous. Like I've seen it

1:30:12

happened where like the girls obviously

1:30:14

just trying to suck the guy's famous, and

1:30:16

the guys like, oh yeah, I mean

1:30:19

that wouldn't that goes that thing like if

1:30:21

they know you're act right, it's a matter

1:30:23

of like I'm not going to help you, like

1:30:26

I can't. I'm not gonna be like, you

1:30:28

know, be good thought

1:30:30

the girl. But

1:30:33

some people do do that. It's not unheard,

1:30:35

do they. Yeah? I guess yeah

1:30:37

they did. I saw somebody. I've seen somebody somebody.

1:30:39

There was an audition. I just remember this.

1:30:42

When we were doing Half Bank. There was a woman

1:30:44

came in for a part and she

1:30:46

was it was like a parody

1:30:48

of like and we were like, who did she fuck?

1:30:52

Because none of us knew her. The cast was like, oh,

1:30:54

so and so called. We had to get her in and

1:30:56

it was like, okay, she was like

1:30:58

Jennifer Tilly from Bill It's Ever Broadway, where just

1:31:01

like what that like just a baby?

1:31:06

Yeah, so there was, But

1:31:08

I don't know. It's you'd be

1:31:10

a fool. What am I gonna do put you? It's like I'll

1:31:13

let you pet my dog. Yeah, it's like, what am

1:31:15

I gonna put you in? And you want to be in a skit

1:31:19

like I'm gonna put the funniest people into it. I'm not gonna put

1:31:21

some of them, of course, And that's a delusional

1:31:24

person. Yeah, you have to be dumb. Thanks.

1:31:26

Yeah, Well we have to wrap. We've

1:31:28

been talking for over an hour. It

1:31:31

was such a pleasure Neil, what

1:31:33

a pleasure. That was fun. That was really

1:31:35

funny. I was. I was, yeah,

1:31:37

it was a good conversation. I thought it would be. Um,

1:31:39

where can people fund you on Twitter?

1:31:42

Neil Brennan and just Google,

1:31:44

Just go there Google. Okay,

1:31:47

alright, this has been another episode of Guys, we

1:31:49

fucking Anti slug Shaming podcast. Thank

1:31:51

you for joining us. By fine,

1:31:56

we're back. Okay, I remember

1:31:59

that I have a slug shame. Then an

1:32:01

argument that's pro sludge shaming. Okay,

1:32:04

okay, um

1:32:08

fucking I'm not yeah,

1:32:10

I'm saying no. It's like it's a glad whale book.

1:32:13

Uh, the no freaking Omics. Okay,

1:32:16

when crime

1:32:19

started going down,

1:32:23

and they the guys who wrote the book

1:32:25

realized that because

1:32:29

one of their theories that it started going down. It was

1:32:31

like a lot of it was like, you know, broken windows policies

1:32:33

and police ship. But he was like, no, I think

1:32:35

it's because abortion became legal

1:32:37

eighteen years ago. So

1:32:40

the people that would have been criminals

1:32:43

were aborted. Okay,

1:32:46

Okay, So the my pro sludge

1:32:48

and again this is I'm not actually sl like,

1:32:51

this doesn't seem this

1:32:53

is the logical reason or the etymology

1:32:56

or the origin of sledgehaming could be that

1:32:59

when men that are sluts are

1:33:02

irresponsible naturally and they

1:33:04

have they have they have kids

1:33:06

that they can't take care of, and then those

1:33:08

kids become a drain on society

1:33:11

and they become criminals. That

1:33:14

so that would be the only justifiable

1:33:17

reason to shame a slut. It's like if

1:33:19

they're adding a bad thing

1:33:21

to society, if they're making babies

1:33:24

that they can't fucking like

1:33:27

take care of. Now, I don't think that

1:33:29

that happens much, but I think it's yeah, no,

1:33:31

it's a horrible argument, but an argument.

1:33:33

I think it's like if somebody argued that, I'd be like, yeah,

1:33:35

I can't. You don't know stats

1:33:38

are I think there's also a lot of like

1:33:40

a fiscal argument in there to education.

1:33:43

I mean people who are completely Yeah, well,

1:33:46

it's basically a welfare argument. It's like, it's like

1:33:48

the thing I always want to say to Republicans, It's like, well, if you want

1:33:50

less welfare, like give everybody

1:33:53

access to birth control because you'll

1:33:55

have way fewer people and there and welfare,

1:33:57

but they can't square the two. Um,

1:34:01

Yeah, and parenthood should be around in every city,

1:34:03

not just like major yeah, small

1:34:05

town. So that would be the argument

1:34:07

for sledgehamming. But having said that, it's

1:34:10

more that has to do with guys as well. It's like where

1:34:12

a fucking rubber dude. Yeah, I would

1:34:14

slept both parts. I would shame both parties.

1:34:17

Um right, exactly. Yeah, Well, as

1:34:19

Kurt Musker said, there is a place for shame.

1:34:21

Yeah, Metsker is the person that

1:34:24

I've talked to about this more than anyone. Yeah.

1:34:25

Yeah, he's the most interesting person

1:34:28

in the world. Yeah. I remembered a hilarious

1:34:30

story about Messico yesterday. Um.

1:34:33

He he worked

1:34:35

on the show I hosted for Sundance the summer called The Approval

1:34:37

Matrix, and he was writer for it, and he goes, He's

1:34:40

like, do you remember you

1:34:42

remember, dude?

1:34:45

You remember you remember the time you said,

1:34:48

like I reminded

1:34:50

you that, uh

1:34:53

that I owed you too Grand

1:34:55

And you were like I totally forgot about that. And I

1:34:58

was like, yeah, I for I forgot that

1:35:00

that had happened. And so

1:35:02

he owes me too. He reminded me that he owes me to Grand

1:35:04

and made no fucking movement

1:35:06

to pay its just like, just

1:35:09

like, dude, it's us crazy. Um,

1:35:12

so we thear some amount of money, but

1:35:14

it was like pay your boy back, Come on

1:35:16

you boy back. Yeah no, it's crew fucking

1:35:18

remember that, or just stop reminding

1:35:21

him, so forget it that. No, well,

1:35:23

now he's not gonna paint. He can, he's gonna keep

1:35:25

reminding me. He's just never gonna paint, right

1:35:27

civil note. Yeah, the statue on the tastes

1:35:30

all right, that's all I wanted. First, make

1:35:33

it hot, make what

1:35:47

turned me out,

1:35:49

get the good