0:00

Welcome the Guys We Find the anti

0:02

slutshaming podcast. I'm

0:05

Christina Hutchinson. I'm Kuran Fisher and

0:07

I'm so your people with friends

0:09

bring us to love you, your warning and

0:12

your shame.

0:13

Hey you was what?

0:14

Yeah?

0:14

Okay?

0:18

Hey?

0:19

What up?

0:19

Fuckers? How you doing where you've been?

0:21

You hydrated? We're a helmet. Please

0:24

welcome to another episode of Guys We

0:26

Fucked. It's the antiret slut chaming podcast.

0:28

I'm Kuran Fisher. I'm Christina Hutchinson.

0:30

Welcome to the show. Do you want to email us?

0:32

Oh?

0:33

You do? It's sorry about last night show at gmail

0:35

dot com. Today's subject line

0:37

Halloween date from hell hurt me beyond

0:39

belief hours before I was going to dump him.

0:42

Oh don't you hate that? That's

0:44

interesting that he would even have the power

0:46

to hurt you if you were going to dump him anyway. I

0:48

will see h O g fucker greetings

0:51

Curran, Christina and Mike og Fucker here. Thank

0:53

you for being the trailblazers that you are. If I

0:55

hadn't been listening to Guys We Fucked for the duration

0:57

of my eleven year relationship, I don't think i'd

1:00

as safe and smart in dating as I am today.

1:02

Thank you with that, Let's get into

1:04

the insanity that was Halloween twenty twenty

1:07

three. My name is Yeah,

1:09

my name is Monica finds on the podcast Cool.

1:11

I'm a thirty four year old female living in

1:13

Colorado with a love for Halloween as

1:15

deep as Carens. I was incredibly

1:18

intentional about Halloween this year, buying party

1:20

tickets and assembling my Dominatrix

1:23

Barbie costume months in advance. I

1:25

committed so hard to this costume that I literally

1:27

dyed my hair black. In April twenty

1:29

twenty three, I matched with this doctor.

1:31

We'll call him not Awesome for those

1:34

in studio. His real name is Okay, cool,

1:36

we'll tell him not awesome. Oh,

1:39

I see thirty five year old male. By

1:41

the end of October, we had been hanging out for

1:43

a little over six months, seeing each other

1:45

one to three times a week and explicitly

1:48

sexually exclusive classic

1:51

situationship. It's the Friday night

1:53

of Halloween weekend, October twenty seventh,

1:55

and I host a house party with all of my

1:57

friends. The party was barbe

2:00

pink out, so the idea was to wear pink

2:02

super simple. People complained when I asked

2:05

for costumes last year, everyone understood

2:07

the assignments. Not Awesome

2:10

shows up super late in jeans and

2:12

not pink Bart Simpson sweatshirt.

2:15

Immediately upon arriving, he takes my drink

2:18

away, saying I was too drunk. Okay,

2:20

ew, you don't want to be the most fucked up

2:22

person here. You're way more lit than

2:24

your guests. After less than an

2:26

hour at my house, he pulls me aside, tells

2:28

me he's leaving to go catch up with the boys and

2:31

he'll come back when all of your guests

2:33

have left.

2:34

Ew.

2:35

Not Awesome gets back to my

2:37

house at two thirty three am and

2:40

butt fucks me. Not my favorite

2:42

his favorite? Oh boy, is

2:44

it ever the woman's favorite? I feel like never. When

2:47

we go to sleep, I see him close out

2:49

his apps on his phone. Next morning,

2:51

he butt fucks me again. Okay, this is that's

2:53

not good. He can't know guys having a great

2:57

Yeah, you should tell him that, you should tell him

2:59

that you don't like but fuckkman.

3:01

I mean hopefully this person is in the past

3:03

that you all got to tell him. I get

3:05

up, make us breakfast. We're chilling on the couch.

3:07

I mean that is your mistake. You're

3:09

gonna make breakfast for someone who butt fucked you

3:11

twice and twenty four hours and left your party

3:13

and didn't show up in costume. I see. The thing

3:15

is, I was like he was getting kicked out when he showed up,

3:18

not in pain, absolutely no dress code

3:20

to get kicked out. And then I'll show up later when none

3:22

of your friends are here, Go fuck yourself. I mean I would,

3:24

I would love to do that. I was taking notes on his

3:26

for that. I'll do that to my boyfriends

3:28

in the future. Make

3:30

us breakfast. We're chilling on the couch watching TV,

3:32

and I watch him close his apps, one of which is

3:34

tender. This means he's busted a nut

3:37

in my ass, is laying so

3:39

poetic, is laying in my bed, dick covered

3:41

in my juices? Oh boy, and looking at girls

3:43

while I make him food? Yeah, yeah,

3:45

exactly, you nailed it. Yeah. I chose

3:48

to not say anything about this because I had planned

3:50

to dump him after the Halloween party happening that night.

3:52

Anyway, why'd you let him get two butt fucks in

3:54

when you were were thinking about a breakup? Two

3:56

butt fucks and breakfast? Oh no,

3:58

no, no, friend. Fast

4:01

forward to later that Saturday evening ten twenty

4:03

eight to the party at a hotel a

4:05

good several miles away from where I live in Colorado.

4:08

Our tickets were upgraded to VIP. Why

4:10

is he coming with you? So we have a cross?

4:13

So we have a cross to access? Oh access?

4:16

What the fuck is wrong with me? So we have access

4:19

to an open bar that's in a hotel

4:21

room suite, main party in lobby. He

4:23

tells me to make him jealous.

4:25

I fucking hate this guy. I tell him

4:28

that I do not want to make him I want

4:30

him to make me jealous. Oh, he tells me to make

4:32

him jealous. I tell him that I do

4:34

not want him to make me jealous.

4:36

Okay, I flirt with guys and girls

4:38

alike, not to mention I am so fucked

4:40

up. Typically my experience is to attend

4:43

an event with someone I'm seeing, and we both flirt

4:45

and are charming with others because we know we

4:47

will go home together and fuck each other. I'm

4:49

going to stop in at this point and say it's okay.

4:52

Like normally, it's like I wouldn't like

4:54

when he said when he took your drink away, but it seems

4:56

like perhaps you did have your best

4:58

interests, but fucked

5:00

you. But maybe when he took your drink away. Yeah.

5:03

So we're in VIP, not a large

5:05

hotel room at all, and he's talking to someone.

5:07

I turn around to chat with a girl, waiting

5:10

for him to wrap up and reconnect with me. Then

5:12

I realized, damn, I've been talking to

5:14

these people for a while. Where is this dude? I

5:16

turn around and he was nowhere to be found.

5:19

I circle the suite nowhere. I

5:21

checked the hall.

5:22

Nope.

5:22

I'm now dropping into absolute panic mode,

5:24

and I'm scared why a piece of a

5:27

man is missing. You're fine. I'm asking

5:30

the bouncers and they're saying, oh, he came by

5:32

like fifteen minutes ago. I was. I

5:34

think he was going out for a cigarette. I am

5:36

so fucked up, so I ditch my drink good

5:39

walking around with literally only a whip

5:41

on me, I'm now fully panicking

5:43

about how I'm going to get home when he has my

5:45

phone. Oh that's why you okay,

5:48

Hey, yeah, that's okay, that makes sense. With

5:50

each passing minute, I'm also just growing

5:53

the rage towards him for ditching me and leaving

5:55

me when I was so fucked up. He's not your

5:57

caretaker though. Also, okay, can you imagine

6:00

I've had guys like you know? Oh

6:02

my god. This is an infamous story for my twenty first

6:04

birthday, when my much older boyfriend got

6:06

so fucked up on my twenty first birthday that I couldn't

6:08

get fucked up when that was literally why I feel

6:11

so vague. Well, he paid for it. I was like, that's

6:13

why we went to Vegas, and I was so

6:15

upset about that. At least he paid for it,

6:17

though. That's good, at least. When I finally

6:19

see him walking into the VIP suite from the

6:21

main party, I charge at him from across

6:24

the room, shoving him with all my MC

6:26

that's not good, and he fell back

6:28

into a big planter. I'm

6:31

screaming, what the fuck is wrong with you? Okay,

6:33

you gotta go therapy, girl? What the fuck are you

6:36

doing leaving me when I'm so fucked up? I

6:38

was looking for you. I mean, that's a lie. You're both

6:40

you both need therapy. I continue to scream,

6:42

But fucking shit, I was right there in the same room

6:45

the whole time. Then my brain clicked

6:47

and I realized what I had done. I've never laid

6:49

a hand on anyone before, and it freaked me out.

6:52

Good it fucking should, so I

6:54

immediately start apologizing. In retrospect,

6:56

I'm also acknowledging that I was other people's

6:59

crazy halloweens. Yes, okay,

7:01

I love this honesty, love it. There's

7:03

no way that half the people there didn't see this or

7:05

hear me screaming at him. I don't love

7:07

that I'm the one who looked crazy here. You

7:09

would think this would have been enough for me for

7:12

him to be on his best behavior the rest

7:14

of the evening. Really, so

7:17

we reconnect and all of a sudden, his liquor

7:19

catches up to him and he's got to sit down.

7:21

I just want to go dance so bad. The whole

7:24

point for me of going to a party.

7:26

He insists that I should go out and have my

7:28

fun, but I'd be pissed if he ditched me when

7:31

I was feeling awful, so I stayed seated

7:33

next to him. Jesus Shortly

7:36

thereafter two am and they start

7:38

rallying us out of the suite and we head out hand

7:40

in hand, with me following

7:43

behind. When we step into the hotel

7:45

hallway, he makes a turn, takes a few

7:47

steps, drops my hand and leans

7:49

against the wall opposite me, right up

7:51

on a girl. I stand there in other

7:53

utter shock and disbelief that this is even

7:55

happening, let alone right in front

7:57

of me. So I turn and walked

8:00

away because I don't watch. I don't

8:02

want to watch him hitting on a girl right in front of

8:04

me. There was nowhere to go the

8:07

direction that I walked, so I turned around,

8:09

and when I approached them again, she has

8:11

his phone in her hand, jaw on the floor.

8:13

I keep walking and I wait out in the lobby. I

8:15

don't understand how some of you don't care about it anymore

8:17

can be making you jealous at all, Like he

8:20

obviously has some power to me. I'm like, you just

8:22

care about winning? Or he has some power? Like

8:24

what is going on here? I finally see this

8:26

woman leave. I'm sorry, but what is wrong with this

8:28

chick? What is wrong with this chick? What's

8:30

wrong with him?

8:31

What you? Yes?

8:33

Both of you?

8:37

This is this is? This is This is dumb bitch

8:39

personified. Do you like being

8:42

a dumb bitch? Is going against yourself when

8:44

we call people, don't don't be a dumb bitch? Or

8:46

you were being a dumb bitch that means you went against yourself.

8:49

You went against yourself and a lot like

8:51

so many times time. So

8:54

I walk back to the hallway where Not Awesome

8:56

is standing and screamed at him again, Oh that'll

8:58

help. What the fuck is wrong with you?

9:00

Did you really just ask for a girl's number while I was

9:02

standing next to you? He responds, you

9:04

were down the hall and were open, but

9:07

you're here with me, I say, and follow

9:10

with you know what this is done. I've

9:12

been over here making you a part of my life

9:14

and falling in love with you. How and you

9:17

while falling in love with you while I'm barely

9:19

a piece of your life. Huh. See, that's

9:21

that's your bad, girl. Huh, that's your

9:24

bad. But you were going to break up with him anyway. It seems like

9:26

you just wanted to get through Halloween because it's important to you,

9:28

and you didn't want to do it single, which we've all

9:30

done. But like, be honest about what it is.

9:33

Hell.

9:34

His response to me saying I loved him? WHOA,

9:37

that's a big word. I'm on this

9:39

guy, suck I do? Yeah me three.

9:41

We get to the car and he says he's too fucked up to drive

9:43

me home. And lays down to take a nap. Jesus,

9:46

I and guys, don't everybody's

9:49

a fucking alcoholic. We just put down the drink for

9:51

a fucking second. Jesus. It's

9:53

like, if you, if you, if you'll drink your problems away,

9:56

and if you do go out knowing that you're gonna get

9:58

fucked up, you need to either have a hotel room

10:00

where you can stay for the night set up for yourself, or

10:02

a safe ride home. Yeah, like

10:04

you have to find, assuming you're in an area that doesn't have like

10:07

uber readily available. We get in the car,

10:09

he says he's too fucked up to drive me home, lays down

10:11

to take a nap. I end up in the fetal position in the

10:13

front seat, sobbing. He sits up and starts

10:15

yelling excuses at me and trying to gaslight

10:17

me about how my behavior justified him asking

10:19

for that girl's number. She

10:21

doesn't even matter. If she were standing here

10:23

right in front of the car, I wouldn't even recognize

10:26

her. Oh great, Wow, you're both top

10:28

notch not helping yourself. Dude, you

10:30

were all up on that bartender and ditched

10:32

me on the couch to go flirt with him. So

10:34

how is it fair that you're all mad about me getting

10:37

a girl's number? Followed by a bunch of other hurtful

10:39

nonsense. He lays back down and

10:41

I move into an anxiety attack. Now fetal

10:43

position yourself.

10:46

Yeah you did. He sits

10:48

back up and says, call an Uber. We'll split Wait

10:50

there was Uber available the whole time they and

10:53

they didn't want to leave their car there. Most people, that's

10:55

like, that's the problem. They should have Uber there as

10:57

well, right, Colin, Uber will

11:00

split it. Let's get you out of here. It's clearly not

11:02

healthy for you to be around me. I ordered

11:04

the Uber and on the way home realized I've left

11:06

my keys, id and some other shit in his

11:08

car. You gotta drink less, girl,

11:10

Okay, oh my god, you have to drink

11:12

less? Oh dear, Thank god.

11:15

I have a spare key hid

11:17

so I could get in my house. But this meant

11:19

I had to see him again. Not Awesome

11:21

shows up to my house on Sunday ten, twenty

11:23

nine and doesn't even pull into the

11:25

driveway. He is conveniently on the phone

11:27

with his dad, so we can't talk. Honestly

11:30

good and gives me twenty one dollars

11:32

cash to cover his part of the uber. I tell him,

11:34

yeah, I tell him no, literally insulting.

11:37

At this point, it doesn't matter, and don't

11:39

give me money. He says, come on, take it.

11:41

I told you I'd split the ride. Let me be a gentleman

11:43

here, a gentleman, really, moly, more

11:45

like a forty percent a gentleman. The uber was forty

11:48

five dollars. I tipped my mind. Okay, now you're focused on

11:50

the wrong show. My god, you were focused on absolutely

11:52

picking ridiculous. You're saying it was insulting,

11:54

and then you're going down to the dollar that he didn't

11:56

give you enough money. You are you are contradicting

11:59

yourself left and right here. You need you

12:01

need therapy, And look that's not an insult.

12:03

Everyone fucking needs therapy. You really need it

12:05

because you know what, deep down, there is a

12:08

functional person in you. I know

12:10

that there is. So let's let's get

12:12

her out. Let's introduce her to the world, or reintroduce

12:14

her rather. And you know what the kicker

12:17

was of all this, It was my fucking birthday. Okay,

12:20

Well you're not gonna forget it. In reflection, I

12:23

seem to have a pattern of ending up with guys who

12:25

supposedly adore me but won't make a commitment

12:27

to me while I fall head over heels for them.

12:29

Nothing about this guy's behavior said he adored you.

12:31

No, not a one damn thing. Girl, You are

12:33

not present when you're in these relationships. As

12:36

my hair stylist kindly pointed out, do

12:38

you think you keep dating emotionally unavailable

12:41

men, absolutely seemingly exclusively?

12:44

How do you even screen for emotional availability

12:46

in the first few dates? Well, you're gonna love our next week's

12:48

episode. You have to be sober and emotionally available

12:51

yourself and also on

12:53

the same page with yourself about what you want.

12:55

You're seeing this guy doesn't matter. You're in a situationship.

12:57

Then you're saying you love him like you're not you don't

13:00

be what you are. Yeah, this guy actually,

13:03

I mean, I'm not saying he's the best guy in the world, but he was

13:05

that clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

13:07

he told you who he is and what it was

13:09

from what you're telling us, right, And

13:12

you're and you're going back and forth

13:14

wildly about what it was. You're saying it doesn't matter,

13:18

and you don't love him like there's no clarity.

13:21

I'm confused knowing that I

13:23

really do want a relationship. There you go, there's

13:25

an answer. And my biggest turn on is intimacy.

13:27

Oh my god. Wow, well

13:29

you're not acting like it. Oh my god. I'm testing

13:31

out some new boundaries. No raw dogging

13:34

me unless one agreements to

13:36

both stop using dating apps. I hope

13:38

you're twenty two. Otherwise this email

13:42

two dude, if you're in your thirties,

13:44

I would go to therapy for

13:46

Christmas.

13:47

This is I gotta be honest.

13:49

This is one of the funniest that for

13:51

her her first boundary to be no raw

13:54

dogs. That's rough. That's roight.

13:56

I couldn't.

13:57

That's fine, Mike, that's all right, it's okay. Yeah

14:00

you need I hope that the person

14:03

who wrote this, I hope you're listening. But I really

14:05

hope you are even going down to how

14:07

she dressed up for Halloween. Right, you're looking for intimacy

14:10

and relationship and you're going out as dominatrix Barbie

14:12

like, and that's not slutshading.

14:14

Like.

14:14

I just think there's like it seems to be a real disconnect.

14:16

You're paying on a lot you want and who you really

14:18

are and how you are presenting yourself

14:20

to people in your life in the world. You're lying

14:22

to you know, you're lying to yourself

14:24

and I don't know you had It's your job to find

14:27

the truth. It's not anybody else's job except yours.

14:30

Okay, I'm testing out new boundaries. No raw

14:32

dogging me unless one agreement to both

14:34

stop using dating apps. It was funny

14:36

the second

14:40

even be on your list, dude.

14:43

And then number one. Number

14:46

two also, I hope you're you don't say

14:49

raw dogging to the guys because they're not going to take

14:51

you seriously if you were actually referred to it as raw

14:53

dogging. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay.

14:56

Number two explicit monogamy in

14:58

all senses of the word. Well, that's good because

15:00

it seems like that's what you want. Although I would

15:02

say, don't fucking date until

15:04

you've been to therapy for a while.

15:07

Okay. Number three a relationship

15:09

label. I would say number

15:11

one should be therapy. Okay, this is more of a therapeutic

15:14

writing for me. But I hope you got some entertainment out of it. Oh we

15:16

did the bar is on the floor, ladies. More stories

15:18

to come, well, I hope no more stories to come

15:20

because I hope you go to fucking therapy. And also in

15:22

this email, I feel I feel like you wrote us this email

15:25

trying to aham a hot mess. Isn't that funny?

15:27

Well, and also to showcase, I'll look at it like, look

15:29

at this dirt these dirt bags I date. It's

15:32

all these guys' problems. When we read that

15:34

email, you are, it's probably mostly your You

15:36

are the fucking problem. Yeah, and you have

15:38

to accept that. Don't feel fucking bad for yourself.

15:40

Girl, stop it, stop drinking. Stop.

15:44

Yeah, she said that he dumped her that

15:46

night. Did I have what

15:48

happened? Yeah?

15:50

Right, I don't even know, because I think

15:52

I didn't. I don't think she got to the part where he like,

15:54

for men, who the hell knows how that night really

15:57

went? When when you were that drunk, I'm sure there was

15:59

some like brown or something happening, like

16:01

who knows, dude, you got

16:03

it. You got to chill. You gotta fucking chill.

16:05

That shit is not cute. It's not cute.

16:08

It's not ha ha. And if you have friends

16:10

in your life, they're like haha, crazy, they're

16:12

bad fucking friends. Do you understand me?

16:15

They're bad friends? Okay, it's

16:17

the season of Christmas, and I'm here

16:19

to tell you that the best gift that you can give

16:21

yourself is motherfucking therapy

16:23

and meditating and putting down the goddamn

16:25

alcohol. Okay, So why I'm

16:28

so mad at you?

16:28

But I am.

16:29

It was a rather unaware of email. Yeah

16:31

yeah, but you do you know what I know? I am

16:33

mad at you because you have a fucking wonderful

16:35

human being in there that's ready to explore the world and

16:37

be curious and set goals for herself and do all

16:40

these beautiful things, and you're just fucking

16:42

wasting that opportunity. That's why I'm fucking

16:44

mad at you. But it's because

16:46

I care. And there's plenty of reasons I'm out at you, because there's

16:48

plenty of reasons to be mad at men, but that

16:50

wasn't one of them. That was not. I

16:53

love being mad at men. But that wasn't that

16:55

wasn't it.

16:55

Yeah?

16:56

Yeah, isn't it? Hey

17:05

speaking to me mad at mncomsys Live. Just kidding.

17:08

Okay, So, we have a three shows coming

17:10

up that Karen and I are doing together,

17:12

which is very exciting. The first one is New Year's

17:15

Eve. This is the Rundown. Yeahkarin Fisher's more

17:17

than New Year's Eve. December thirty, first, New

17:19

York Comedy Club, East Village, six pm.

17:22

Perfect way, I know, Oh that's early. Yeah, New

17:24

Year's Eve starts early, and if you don't know that, you're

17:26

not doing New Year's Eve, right, So you go,

17:28

you show up, You have a couple of cocktails at

17:31

New York Comedy Club, East Village. You enjoy the

17:33

show. It's me, It's Christina Hutchinson, John Campanelli,

17:35

Justin Silver, Ryan Long, CHLOEA Lebranch.

17:38

Going to be so fun. This show was so killer last

17:40

year. If anyone was there, Wow, we tell fucked

17:42

up jokes to end the year. And

17:44

then you go on to whatever you're going to do next.

17:47

Ticket link is up for that on the New York Comedy

17:49

Club website, on my link tree at Philanthropy

17:51

Gal on Instagram or on x

17:53

slash Twitter. It's all there. Then

17:56

moving on to February, we

17:59

have some shows in both New York and LA

18:01

Yes, February first, New York City. It's

18:03

our first guys. We fucked live at the MasterCard

18:06

Midnight Theater UH in New

18:08

York City, So make sure you come to that February

18:10

first live for that it's a Thursday

18:13

center by Yes. And then motherfucking

18:15

Los Angeles we do

18:17

for Valentine's Day. That's our that's the guys who

18:19

fuck national holidays Valentine's Day and

18:22

we want to invite you to come see us co

18:24

headline the main room at the Comedy Store. It

18:26

is going to be an evening to remember. Come by yourself,

18:28

come with a bunch of friends, come with We're doing guys being

18:30

fucked live that way are we doing. I believe that's what they

18:32

booked, so I think that's what we have to do. Hell yeah,

18:35

fucking six So it will be like, see it's

18:37

guys, we fucked experience kind of show that Oh perfect.

18:39

I haven't done that since like twenty eighteen out of LA

18:42

Yeah. Yeah, I got that comedy festival

18:44

under that tenth. Yeah that was really fun. Yeah,

18:46

this is a fun fucking show. Guy, Yeah, this will be super

18:49

super fun.

18:50

Uh.

18:50

And then me Christina, I have some

18:52

solo headlining gigs coming up New Brunswick, New Jersey,

18:54

January fourth through the sixth, the Stress Factory.

18:57

I'm headlining hasbro Kites, New Jersey at Bananas

18:59

Februar ninth and tenth, Springfield,

19:01

Missouri, March twenty second and twenty third. I mean'd

19:03

be headlining the Blue Room. All ticket links

19:06

are in my bio, in in uh social,

19:08

on the social media pages and Patreon.

19:11

Once once a week I host group

19:13

zoom Shapy and it's it's fucking

19:15

great. Okay, I think that girl should

19:17

come. Uh, but you know, I totally understand. If you don't

19:19

want to, you could sign up by going to

19:22

patreon dot com slash Christina Hutchinson.

19:24

That link is also in my bio. And then I have a solo

19:26

podcast called The Voices in Our Heads where

19:28

I dive into a self

19:30

help book every episode that I'm really

19:32

loving and uh, this past

19:35

week it was the

19:37

Way We Live Is the Way We Die. I'm

19:39

pretty sure it was called was Pema Chodron uh

19:41

and it was a great book. And I also have my friend Ali on and it

19:43

was really fun. So you can listen to that anywhere you get

19:45

your podcasts. Wait are you not? Are you not promoting your

19:48

January live date yet? Or no? The

19:50

wait? What? Oh fuck?

19:53

I forgot? There's so many things. I'm so oh gosh,

19:55

yes, thank you so much for that. Wait what,

19:57

I fucking totally forgot. I'm suck some soaks

20:00

for that. Wait what January

20:02

twentieth, It's a Saturday. I'm so,

20:04

so, so excited. Daniel Pinchback is an author.

20:06

He's my co host of Wait What.

20:08

That?

20:08

Is a show all about things that completely defy

20:11

what you thought was real in the world. So

20:13

alien's ghosts, the healing power of psychedelic

20:15

medicine, all that kind of shit. And on Saturday,

20:18

January twentieth, we have our premiere

20:20

show. It's going to be a live show, and

20:22

I highly encourage if you're in New York City that date

20:24

get a ticket. The link is not up yet, but it will be up soon,

20:26

probably after Christmas.

20:29

We want to do a town hall thing at the end of the show

20:31

where anybody who has experiences with like

20:33

a crazy psychedelic experience, or if they have spiritual

20:36

powers, if they could talk to ghosts, talk to dead

20:38

people, or if you've been abducted

20:40

by aliens or you've had experiences with aliens,

20:43

we want to hear from you because from

20:45

that too. Yeah, specifically if you've been abducted by aliens.

20:48

Honestly, me too. There's a lot of people.

20:50

There's more people these than you would assume

20:52

that have claimed to have been abducted by aliens. And

20:54

I got to say, I want to hear your fucking stories. I want

20:57

to hear them. And so we're

20:59

doing the live show. I think it's gonna be eight thirty

21:01

pm. And our special guest is

21:03

mother fucking John Ronson. Yes,

21:06

he's sorry, and

21:08

he has so many stories about like witchy

21:11

ghost shit, and he's like very giddy and excited

21:13

to share them, which I cannot wait. It's going to be. It's

21:16

gonna be one of the best nights ever. So you

21:18

should come on down. Thank you for that reminder, correct, you got

21:20

it. And then Washington, d

21:22

C. I'm headlining the DC COMEDYLF

21:24

February twenty nine through March. Second. You guys have known

21:26

about that for a while, and I know it's hard, you

21:28

know, well in twenty twenty three

21:30

to buy tickets for twenty twenty four, but I would say time

21:33

is now. I haven't checked on tickets sales. Who knows, maybe they're great.

21:35

I have no idea, but buy tickets

21:37

for that. The link is up in the link tree at

21:39

Philanthropy Gal and also on

21:42

Instagram and on x slash, Twitter

21:44

and threads and wherever you have access

21:46

to me too much perhaps,

21:49

and then there again, I'll I have a limited

21:52

amount of tour dates coming

21:54

up in twenty twenty four, but I will be going to other places

21:56

other than LA and obviously

21:59

check out a gash Slasher

22:01

comedy at the Comedy Store

22:03

in La to Dates will be forthcoming

22:06

for that. And if you want to hear me on

22:08

my solo podcast about news,

22:11

social issues, that kind of thing. We talk a lot

22:13

about domestic violence, animal welfare,

22:15

but we're it's you know, it's fine. It's not too

22:17

serious, like we're talking about serious things. It's

22:20

a little more serious than guys we fucked, but it's still

22:22

you know, I'm still talking about it with a

22:24

comedian's voice, so I feel like it's

22:27

accessible to anyone. We're not trying

22:29

to do highbrow collegiate collegiate

22:32

work here. It's not academia. So

22:35

check out Without a Country. It comes out

22:37

on YouTube every Wednesday night.

22:40

I do recommend watching the video version, but of

22:42

course we have all audio versions

22:44

too on Luminary and Apple

22:46

and Spotify and wherever you listen to podcasts,

22:50

and I highly recommend us starting to

22:52

think about the twenty twenty four presidential

22:54

election now and looking into

22:57

who's going to be running the issues that matter

22:59

to you, because that'll be around

23:01

before you know it. You

23:04

don't vote, you can't complain. Mm hmm, guys

23:07

are guests. Yeah, he's just fantastic. We're

23:10

so excited. He's a stand up comedian, very

23:12

mother funny, motherfucker, and he has a

23:14

comedy special that's available now for

23:16

you to watch called The Blue Eyed Mexican.

23:18

It's on YouTube. Ladies and gentlemen,

23:20

please welcome to the show.

23:22

Shane Torres, I'm

23:36

so second the bullshit.

23:39

You've been down this freaking road so

23:41

many times. Oh

23:46

exclat the not me. Tell

23:50

me?

23:50

Is this the definition of infanity?

23:54

I expected to grab thisisms.

23:57

Now I'm check.

24:00

Because I'm broken forever

24:03

in that. And

24:06

some rich guy in a private

24:08

plane is gonna kill me. He's

24:11

got hair plugs and a coffee

24:13

ship.

24:13

He's gonna kill me.

24:17

Billionaires our

24:22

dorcs, I said, y'all

24:25

are freaking nerds. You got

24:27

a real bad, bad.

24:30

Need to

24:32

be cool.

24:36

For training everywhere. Only

24:39

care about themselves as

24:42

far as I.

24:43

Can tell, Yeah, yeah,

24:45

yeah, yeah.

24:47

Justice O the world. You

24:50

fake your way is gone.

24:52

You move.

25:00

We are here with standing comedian shape

25:02

for us, so happy to have you on show.

25:05

We were talking about women showing up and stalking

25:07

men. Men

25:10

never do that for well, no, you've got stoked

25:13

that stuck all the time. Christ They're

25:15

literally getting arrested for it and.

25:18

All the time. Is not where I thought we

25:20

were the stalkers.

25:22

Yeah, women stalk out to like you know,

25:24

like you had a very serious

25:26

stalker,

25:31

have you. I've certainly followed people home,

25:33

just what people, just to make sure what's

25:35

your life? I like you said

25:37

that, I certainly followed. I don't know

25:40

them. I just pick them out on the subway and I go, I

25:42

don't know where are you going? And then I'll just follow them

25:44

for like a block and I'm like that was cool.

25:46

And they're like, are you following me? And You're like no, just like your

25:48

shoes? Who

25:51

are you?

25:51

I gotta go? What

25:54

was I took this snapping from the restaurant. We were both in you.

25:58

And your spin where

26:01

what's the stockiest you've ever gotten?

26:03

Stockiest? Like, yeah, I'm pretty stocky,

26:05

really I was. It was a joke about my shape,

26:10

Jesus.

26:12

Yeah, I thought you were like, what what are you're weighing in.

26:14

That I have to go to the doctor

26:17

tomorrow and I am having about

26:19

that. It's okay, it'll

26:21

be fine. He's just gonna tell me what's wrong

26:23

with my body. Yeah, yeah, it's

26:25

good. The stockiest I've ever.

26:27

Been, yeah, in terms of like obsessive,

26:30

overall woman.

26:33

Like post like we're talking like grown

26:36

right or.

26:36

Not if it's interesting.

26:40

I mean, I don't think.

26:41

I've like been stocky. I've definitely been like I

26:43

was a mopey, little fun.

26:46

Like a woman dumps you when you show up at her work or something

26:49

that's cool.

26:50

That's like.

26:52

Yeah, no no, but I mean

26:54

like guys don't do that stuff, but but then they do.

26:57

Also you'd

26:59

like I could have done something like no, I

27:01

have not done that, but I could have done something that creepy

27:04

and not remember it, you like,

27:06

because.

27:06

If you're doing it out of love in your head. Yeah,

27:09

it was like a little like it's a blackout, it's a love

27:11

black Yeah.

27:12

It's a love for Yeah, it was love. It

27:14

was love.

27:14

Yeah, you can't see how it's illogical.

27:16

Yeah, so I don't.

27:17

I mean, I'm sure I did something that made somebody like

27:20

yeah, but like never endangerable

27:22

A little. I try to be, but it's

27:25

it's leaving me more and more every year. So and

27:30

I'm getting better results because of it.

27:31

So really like on stage, well.

27:34

Yeah, but on the stage, I am done being

27:36

nice. I'm attacking nurses

27:38

all the time now. It's yeah,

27:40

it's like most of my act ever since.

27:42

Well that's in twenty twenty three. That's some edgy

27:44

shit. Yeah, attacking nurses.

27:46

I'm real edgy people Honestly, people

27:48

act like think like I'm like jazz on nick I'm very

27:50

I pushed the buttons.

27:51

Well, there was a comic on the show I did recently

27:54

did a nurse anti nurse bit or like he was making

27:56

fun of nurses and the tension, I

27:58

mean you they get tight. It was it

28:01

was detention. I haven't heard from an audience

28:03

in a while. No one like truth you are

28:05

you? Were you speaking about nurses in a derogatory

28:08

way because of your experience with like your mom's.

28:10

Death or no, Well,

28:12

yeah, my mom was a nurse and I have a big like nurse tattoo.

28:14

I have even nurse tattoo on my.

28:16

I have a nurse's cap on my arm. Yeah,

28:19

with her flowers. But you

28:22

know firsthand, I love nurses, but I think

28:24

it's funny to go after the thing you care about,

28:26

like and the thing I do.

28:27

I just say, I come out.

28:28

It's like a long story where I have like five

28:31

or six punch lines about nurses, but that I open up

28:33

with this right now and I just go, uh, you

28:35

guys probably can't tell this by looking at me, but I'm a hero, like

28:37

a real one, not like a nurse, and

28:40

and everyone like snaps yeah, like

28:42

and then I'll be like, are there any nurses here? And

28:45

they always woo, you know, and I go, yeah,

28:47

they'll let you know that they are.

28:49

Yeah.

28:49

So it's like very easy, you know, like it's obviously

28:52

like I'm winking at the camera very heavily at

28:54

this, but but it is fun to like go

28:56

after anyone like first respond like kids,

29:01

we're not like we are heroes,

29:03

but we're not banging pots and pants almost like.

29:05

You're at a stand comedy show. Like my favorite,

29:07

my favorite thing that Ryan re says this, Guys, if you're offended

29:10

by anything, I say, stop and think maybe he's

29:12

kidding. Yeah, yeah, it's a joke.

29:14

We're joke writers, you know, even if you're making a point,

29:16

you're writing jokes about your points.

29:17

So sure, but people, everyone's prepared

29:20

to be upset these days, so it's kind of yeah.

29:22

Yeah, it's a real good it's a real good time for comedy.

29:26

I actually think it is because it's

29:28

always a good time for comedy. It is, And I think

29:30

it gets better because I like a tense audience

29:32

because I don't really say anything to piss a lot of people

29:34

off, but when I do have something, it feels great.

29:37

Yeah, but your act is like it

29:40

is not like

29:42

like you know, like you're not going after like you're

29:44

not offending any but you are, like you

29:47

have a lot of energy.

29:48

You're like you ge you go out him in a different way.

29:50

That yet I'll talk about like, oh, you know, fucking

29:52

a blind guy could be fun because if you can't find the clip is seeing

29:54

eye doggle like just.

29:55

Hid right, that's not like yeah

29:58

yeah, Like my energy is like a baby who's

30:00

sleepy. I'm just rubbing my eyes with the back of my

30:02

hands,

30:05

the same energy you carry to the bedroom.

30:06

Yes, yeah, I'm an incredible lover.

30:08

Yeah that your

30:11

next album needs to be called.

30:13

That's pretty good. Good March to Yeah incredible.

30:15

Yeah, it'll be like pillow cases and she'll

30:18

be and.

30:19

It's you, but you on the pillows. So it's like we can sleep

30:21

with Shane.

30:21

Yeah, but then like maybe we like

30:24

like it's like a nude, but we use Madden's cock

30:26

like we trace it.

30:28

But we are recording now, Shane. Whatever.

30:32

Yeah, our friend's gonna be so upset

30:34

that on your popular.

30:36

Podcast

30:38

he rang and

30:40

he's doing well and making money.

30:42

The guy is killing it on all

30:45

fronts Andy's spin yea

30:47

and a huge day.

30:48

Yeah, and he's hysterical and he's

30:50

beloved.

30:50

Yeah. I love

30:53

when guys with huge dicks are sweet.

30:56

I love that. That's my kink. Yeah,

30:58

guy with a huge hog who's very

31:00

humble, using a power for good, spoken

31:03

like a true hero. And that was

31:05

our James maddern segment.

31:06

Yeah,

31:09

are you an incredible lover?

31:10

And I would say I'm generous and eager to

31:12

please? Okay,

31:14

I will say that.

31:16

I will I'm

31:19

not physically gifted

31:22

or talented and that.

31:23

But I am hungry.

31:24

I will say I can outwork just about anyone.

31:27

That's what's for dinner.

31:28

Yeah, yeah, you want

31:30

to put it that way, that's part of it.

31:32

I will never forget the two guys

31:34

that I dated three who got

31:36

off on eating a woman out. I'm like,

31:39

they need more of your kind, We need more of your kind.

31:41

It's fun though, Like I mean, like, I

31:44

know that's like a troupe that guys don't like de pussy, But is it

31:46

real like in your experiences that's bad as like or

31:49

as are men as bad about it

31:51

as like the pop cliche of it.

31:53

I don't. I haven't found that, but I'm

31:56

after being with a man who is so

31:59

got off on eating a woman out. I'm like, why aren't

32:01

you all like this?

32:02

Yeah, we all have favorites.

32:04

That's fucking So that's like being like, hey,

32:06

how come you're not all like Michael Jordan when you play

32:09

basketball.

32:09

That's true, I know, but my first boyfriend also

32:12

loved going down on me, and I was like, that was

32:14

five years so first boyfriend.

32:16

Yeah, then to be kicked out with the rest

32:18

of you guys and they're like, I don't know, did

32:21

you shower? I fucking eat it, asshole.

32:24

I've seen a lot of guys go to that. Yeah,

32:26

yeah, into it. I just it is. It is

32:28

tough, like when you date people you collect

32:31

favorites, like, oh, do you do this one

32:33

thing that I'm like, this is great, And then

32:35

by the time you get to like your twenty fifth

32:37

partner, you're like, you have.

32:39

All this whole list of like ship that people.

32:42

Why don't you do any of these twenty five.

32:47

Of the twenty five things on your list? What's

32:49

the least valuable one? Like pillow

32:53

talker no is.

32:55

Uh believes in ghosts,

32:59

like that he's

33:02

open to the well. I assume

33:04

it's like least valuable to society, but very valuable

33:06

to me.

33:08

At least valuable to you. On this list, it

33:10

wouldn't.

33:10

Be on the list if it wasn't valuable, I would say.

33:12

But they have varying degrees of value.

33:14

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Like the cooking, Like

33:16

when a guy loves to cook and he's good at it, and

33:19

then he loves to eat a woman out fucking

33:21

nice. A lot

33:24

of it's eating various things.

33:26

Yeah, like sexually

33:28

venturess if he can make NYOCHI like little

33:30

pillows like.

33:31

We've just made sweep the other night.

33:33

That sounds awful.

33:34

Awful Potato men men don't

33:37

like like the sweet potato gourd pumpkin family.

33:39

I don't know why, Shane, what's your

33:41

problem?

33:42

I don't I like pumpkins.

33:45

Potato and pumpkin are

33:48

very similar.

33:49

I haven't had sweet potato or pumpkin

33:51

yoki, but I don't like sweet potatoes.

33:53

Okay, they're disgusting.

33:54

Really, I don't like the sweet potato

33:56

fried craze. I'm glad that's over because regular

33:58

fries are way better. Got yeah, fully loaded

34:00

sweet potato at Texas Roadhouse, Shane, and

34:02

you will be changing your two. But no, I love

34:04

it. Fully loaded potato. Baked potato

34:06

is one of my favorite searches on seamless,

34:09

just to get a huge potato sent to me with all the stuff

34:11

in it. But I want like cheese,

34:13

broccoli, sour cream.

34:16

Baked potatoes on seamless. Hell yeah,

34:20

maybe the loneliest thing.

34:21

I've a fat,

34:25

my favorite baked

34:29

I love

34:30

it.

34:31

During the Irish famine. Like, that's insane.

34:34

One of these things about Wendy's is that they have a baked potato

34:36

on the menu.

34:37

Ye blasphemous

34:41

to make square hamburgers and

34:43

serves baked potatoes potato. It's

34:46

rock insane.

34:48

This is awful.

34:49

Well, what do you like tea?

34:51

Yeah, pussy, I said that clipping

34:55

I'm an alley, you

34:58

want to baked potato. You're your.

35:01

Your generous lover. Yeah, that's

35:04

really great. You're a

35:07

heartache of broken. Are you

35:09

in the like?

35:10

I mean it was like a

35:13

little over a year ago now, so I'm like, I'm fine,

35:15

but are you?

35:16

Because you brought it up immediately when I texted.

35:18

You, you said what have you been through in your love life? And I

35:20

told you the things I went. I wasn't like hiking.

35:23

I got

35:26

you. I

35:29

thought we were going to catch you in the midst of the heartache

35:31

because there's a lot of wisdom that you can gain. Even

35:33

though it feels, like asked, well, Shane said, and I quote

35:35

I mentally worse than ever.

35:37

Yeah, that's true.

35:39

Oh I thought it was because of the breakup.

35:41

No, I mean it's because I have everything, Like I'm in a

35:43

very I'm

35:46

not that bad first of all.

35:47

But like that all you said, well,

35:50

we don't know what personally,

35:53

we don't know how.

35:53

I probably.

35:57

I'm in this thing now, Like I mean, we're

36:00

all in our thirties or forties now, you know, like our

36:02

group of comics, sure, some

36:05

people are married and some people have the things that we thought

36:07

we were going to get or wherever. You know, there's varying degrees

36:09

of all kinds of life. And I'm like, well, my stuff's

36:11

like good, but

36:13

it's not enough.

36:15

So what are the things that are like that you thought you

36:17

would have by now that that.

36:19

Other property that'd be nice?

36:21

That's a common one, hear.

36:22

Yeah, my brother's

36:25

not being ankle weights while I'm swimming

36:27

in the ocean, Like I feel like I'm dragging my family across

36:29

the finish line.

36:30

Sometimes. I don't know if you, Oh.

36:33

My brothers like uh so, Like

36:36

I love them and they're good guys, but like they're not

36:39

contributing in a lot of ways. I would like to see them contribute

36:42

to our overall family and nobody is married.

36:44

Do you have a family where everybody contributes to

36:46

the family.

36:47

No, but in a way of like we have some since

36:49

my mother's death and my father's deaths, Like we

36:52

have some obligations that like

36:54

we're all tied together on and

36:56

I'm like, you were going to fix this

36:58

shit and you haven't fixed it, and now like and

37:01

now you guys all have like

37:03

you're in a better position than me because I haven't been

37:05

pushing for my like these kind

37:07

of things. Yeah, and I'm like, well, this

37:10

would help me own a house, you know, like this would

37:12

help me do these things right and so like

37:14

and that's fine, Like I'm doing fine. I'm

37:17

probably gonna buy a house anyway, so like it's yeah,

37:19

but it's one of those things that like I just would

37:21

like to level up and have the tangible things as apost

37:24

and have somebody to share it with that I can actually stay

37:26

on the fucking side of you

37:29

know, would you know you

37:31

date? Like when I was dating this last person, Like I

37:34

mean, I had order, but like, oh

37:37

god, like it.

37:38

Doesn't sound like it.

37:39

Just the thing

37:42

is that you think.

37:43

I mean, I'm sure you guys have tread this grun before, but like the

37:46

things that you like enjoy about someone

37:48

turn into things you fucking truly hate about

37:50

there, like you guys like yeah, like

37:54

like we were long distance, but we were very serious

37:56

and like, you know, seeing each other a lot. And

37:59

then she would be like I

38:01

liked saying good night to her because she would always got she worked earlier

38:03

and stuff and like and I'd be like, hey.

38:04

I'm out at work, but I miss you. I adore

38:07

you. Blah blah, all this kind of stuff.

38:08

Yeah, And then and then one

38:11

night, like one night I left

38:13

her a voice text and she was like, oh, I really

38:15

love that. I was already asleep, so I just sent her a voice

38:17

text, you know, and she's like that made my day so much

38:19

better. And then she was like, well, you keep

38:22

doing that, and I was like, yeah, sure, you know. And then eventually

38:24

one night I forgot to do it and she was like, why was Where

38:26

wasn't my ship Like that.

38:28

It doesn't feel like an obligation, just

38:30

something that you started organically because

38:32

you felt it and you meant it. And then

38:35

and then it just becomes like common.

38:37

Like it's like I brush, I brush my teeth,

38:39

I wake up a pee, I listened to my voice

38:41

not yeah.

38:42

I like things special, things to be special.

38:44

Yeah, I totally agree. I used

38:46

to be like your ex in that way.

38:49

And then it was shown to me that like when things just

38:51

kind of pop up randomly, it's much better. It's

38:53

just much like we'll have like characters we

38:55

do and it's like if somebody's

38:57

like, do this character, like no, I don't feel

38:59

like it. Don't ask me to do it. You shouldn't

39:02

want me to do it. I don't feel like it. You do you do?

39:03

Like, do you do a character? Do you do a characters?

39:05

Like when you're apologizing,

39:08

that would that would send me to baby

39:11

Margaret wants to apologize for

39:13

getting to drop off to winch a

39:15

baby.

39:16

A baby character is gotten. I feel like I just

39:18

got my lesson shame.

39:19

Oh what what's your character? Give

39:22

me?

39:22

Your character is Karen, who

39:24

doesn't do characters.

39:25

We know the

39:27

truth. She doesn't need any gimmicks.

39:31

My weapon is honesty, it's

39:33

true.

39:35

What do you want to talk about? What happened last

39:38

night? It happens.

39:40

It happens to a lot of guys.

39:44

Shut your couple of drinks.

39:46

Okay,

39:49

No, I'll do the character. I'm

39:51

like, hey, great job dipship and

39:53

I'll just talk. I'm like, you fucking idiot. And

39:55

it's like I step into this character. I just fucking

39:58

annihilate him verbally and he's

40:00

like that's great. But there was one time where

40:02

he was like do that. I'm like, no, you can't. And then

40:04

he's the same way if I'm like, do this character, what's

40:07

his character? He's got a bunch. He's Irish,

40:09

so he's very funny. He's very entertaining,

40:11

but you can't.

40:13

Oh I know him, yes,

40:15

yes, yeah, yeah, yeah,

40:17

yeah, I'll see him to night, I.

40:18

Think, yeah, I'll see there.

40:19

Yeah.

40:20

But like and he's from the same part of Ireland as

40:22

my mom Malahide my mom.

40:25

Oh no no, then he's further north. Yeah,

40:28

my mom was from Ireland. Yeah yeah, yeah, we buried

40:30

her over there. Fun trip. Yeah,

40:34

baby head to bury his mommy.

40:39

Every time he goes to Island and noted

40:41

Dame.

40:41

But my mommy died. So

40:45

both your parents you lost.

40:46

Yeah yeah, that's wild. Yeah,

40:48

it's so interesting. But

40:50

it's like I don't want to be like it's fine,

40:52

but you learned how to do things, you know, Like

40:55

it's pretty interesting to not have.

41:00

My favorite thing about it. I'm trying to find my favorite

41:02

thing.

41:02

And it is that like if

41:04

someone says they're disappointed in me, it

41:07

truly does not work anymore. Like like

41:11

I can still get in trouble with like the law,

41:14

but my job is the job. I like, we have all

41:16

had the same career, so I'm not going to get

41:18

like in trouble with my boss.

41:21

Yeah, and I'm not like, you

41:23

know, unless I like get drunk and hit a busload

41:25

of nuns or something like I'm not. I

41:29

like, so there's a freedom, Like I don't want to

41:31

feel that way, Like I don't want to have to be like a prick, but

41:33

I think it's like nice to just be like, yeah,

41:35

I got William. I'm not going to

41:37

hear my mom's voice ever again, so I'm not not

41:40

going to need to like feel like I'm

41:42

so disappointed.

41:44

Did you did you live

41:47

under the anxiety of potentially

41:49

disappointing your parents while were alive.

41:53

My mother, not my father, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

41:55

yeah, yeah, like a little bit, I think, but

41:57

more like I knew she wasn't disappointed, but like she

42:01

was so worried all the time, so like

42:03

because of the job and like because

42:05

you're got yeah yeah, that kind of stuff. But you

42:08

know, she got used to it. And then like at the end before she died,

42:10

I had like an established

42:13

career to.

42:13

Some degree, Yeah, so she was like to worry

42:15

a little less.

42:16

Yeah yeah, Like yeah, she would try to

42:18

give me money and I didn't need it. So I think that she was like, Okay,

42:20

I can go now.

42:22

Like our parents like worry about

42:24

us pursuing a career in the arts

42:26

because like there's nothing to worry about it. It's like, Okay,

42:29

what do you worry about, like that your kid will fail and

42:31

then we'll have to get another job, like you

42:34

can access the money.

42:36

Yeah, it's like it's.

42:37

Not you know, we're not We're not in

42:39

a plat system in India where like I

42:41

can only like I'm only allowed to be like

42:43

a ditch digger or whatever, you.

42:45

Know, like not like Alaskan fishermen. We're

42:47

gonna die on the job, you know. I

42:49

guess you could. But you can die anywhere anywhere.

42:52

You die in the car driving.

42:54

I would imagine it's many comedians of overdose and

42:56

cocaine as fishermen have drowned.

42:57

But true. Yeah, but I.

43:00

Think it's like it's also one of these things, like the jobs

43:02

I am qualified for I

43:04

will always be able to get.

43:07

Because if I ever have.

43:09

To do them again, there's gonna be somebody who's like

43:11

in high school doing it.

43:13

Yeah.

43:14

I've painted myself into a real corner, I

43:16

know. Yeah, it's just good.

43:18

I have to punch my way out the whole time.

43:19

It's unexpected of your parents dying.

43:21

You don't have to live with the fear of the wrath of their

43:23

disappointment. That's beautiful.

43:25

Yeah, I love that they're more downs than ups. But it's

43:27

working.

43:30

So so your baseline is pretty neutral,

43:32

like in terms of like mental health.

43:33

Like I'm at this point

43:36

like do you guys do therapy?

43:38

Yeah, I stopped going.

43:41

I'm gonna pause. I paused for a year because

43:43

I overdid it. I was like, I'm good.

43:45

I was like I

43:47

was like when my mom died, I went to one like right away

43:49

because I was like, yeah, yeah, I was like I

43:51

need to do this, and like it

43:53

didn't uh, it was fine,

43:56

Like it was just nothing ever turned

43:58

over, nothing ever for me.

44:00

And I was like, I'm fucking Sometimes

44:03

I come here and I just cry to some like old

44:05

lady.

44:06

That's why I stopped going. At a certain point, I go, I'm

44:08

not gonna I would am I just gonna sign on here and pay one hundred

44:10

and fifty bucks to cry?

44:11

Yeah, and I gotta go out and like I'm like coming in

44:13

from like to go to Columbus Circle, to the one who

44:15

takes my insurance or whatever.

44:16

Yeah.

44:18

Yeah, So that that kind of shit was like bumming me out.

44:21

And I didn't really mind it at first, but I just didn't like my

44:24

problems weren't fixing any like, like,

44:26

I wasn't like I was already identifying my problems

44:29

and fixing them, Like it just was

44:31

like trudging it, you know. And it

44:33

wasn't on her really, but like I was

44:35

think I was expecting something that was not going to come

44:37

through. And like, now, so I stopped going

44:40

and I've been out for a few years, and I probably should go

44:42

back, but I kind of at this point where like I

44:44

don't want to

44:46

have the problems anymore, but if I can't

44:48

solve them, I want to stop being upset by them,

44:51

like, you know, Like and I found that therapy

44:55

was really more or less just kicking

44:57

the shit out of me with it, like and it was I wasn't

44:59

getting the results I wanted. And maybe I had a few bad

45:03

sessions with like because I tried a few different people, I

45:05

wasn't like I didn't quit, you.

45:07

Know, like, yeah, it's like dating.

45:08

Yeah. I also feel like.

45:11

Upon upon review, I feel

45:13

like a regular therapist isn't

45:16

equipped to handle death unless they've had a lot of

45:18

personal experience with it in the same way like that it's

45:20

specifically a grief counselor would be equipped

45:23

to deal with it. When I researched it more, I was like, I

45:25

probably I ended up getting through it

45:27

like what I need to get through myself through my

45:29

own independent research. But I was like, I think a

45:31

grief counselor probably would have been a lot more helpful

45:34

than a therapist. Yeah, because especially therapress

45:37

my age with a live parents.

45:39

Yes, Like I get slissed.

45:41

I get mad when I have friends who are like ten years older, mean

45:43

that are comments and there I find out their folks are still alive.

45:45

I'm like, why am I getting fucked?

45:46

Yeah?

45:47

Yeah, And I'm like and then I feel like I shouldn't be

45:49

complaining about it in my head, so I.

45:50

Just yeah, then you're on the

45:52

wheel.

45:53

So I definitely should go back to therapy.

45:55

But yeah,

46:05

so that breakup that happened a year

46:07

ago, that's not You're like cool with it.

46:10

I am. We are not cool, but I am

46:12

cool with it. Like what happened?

46:14

What went down? Why did it end?

46:16

Okay? Uh? That

46:22

one time? It

46:24

was everything was like the

46:27

problems were things like.

46:30

She would do this a lot, and she is a good person,

46:32

and I feel like sometimes she still looks.

46:34

At the ship I do.

46:35

I like, what I love when people come on and talk about their axes

46:37

and they go listen not a can't

46:40

stand the site or the voice

46:42

or anything.

46:43

About them, And I don't talk about And yeah, she's

46:45

terribly needy, and I

46:47

would try to make her do things.

46:49

But like you try

46:51

to make her do things, like.

46:53

Like she was like a homebody and like we didn't

46:55

live in the same place, so I'd be like, you need to get

46:57

out because I can't.

46:58

My life is yea, that was.

46:59

Just a sound by then you did clarification for your.

47:01

Own like I

47:06

was like talk like a baby.

47:08

But she would do this thing

47:10

where like she would fuck up like I did plenty

47:12

of the wrong ship so fine, yes

47:15

we will, but like she would do things

47:18

where she like was in the wrong and we would

47:20

get over it, right and I'm talking about

47:22

it like this fucking upset me. I did not like it,

47:25

you know, And then she

47:27

would be like, okay, I'm sorry, you know, she would admit

47:29

that she wasn't the wrong, but then I would have to

47:31

spend like days sometimes

47:33

weeks, like consoling her to make her

47:35

feel better. I

47:39

can't hate it, and I she like

47:41

she is a good person, like but like that is that

47:43

kind of ship that like I was like, you can't

47:45

do this to me because I feel like I'm doing

47:47

something wrong because you got upset about something that

47:50

was you were wrong about.

47:52

Like I like, I can't. This is not gonna work.

47:54

And when we broke up, she

47:56

fucking she gave me both barrels, like she fucking

47:58

unloaded on me.

48:00

Did she like like grievances and stuff with Oh.

48:02

Yeah, yeah,

48:04

I know.

48:07

I know her inner working as well.

48:09

Unfortunately, like I do a bit in the

48:11

new special I'm here promoting the Blue Eyed Mexican on

48:14

YouTube produced by Repressure. Yeah

48:17

okay, yeah out now, but

48:22

it's doing well, but it could do better.

48:23

By the way, when I came here, I was like, it's.

48:25

One of my favorite stand ups. You're definitely

48:27

checking out. You are so funny.

48:29

Thank you fast.

48:30

I got a doss done, like a digital

48:32

dossier done by my agency, Like they found like what

48:35

my digital foot print was, and

48:37

I was always like I knew

48:39

like my audience was fairly male, but

48:42

it was like overly yeah, like overly

48:45

male is what she was. Heavily male,

48:48

slightly it's slightly more likely

48:50

to be college educated than not.

48:52

And it was it was fifty one nine.

48:56

That's interesting the male versus female

48:59

because I was actually just going to add on to that

49:01

that, like, you are not this

49:03

like kind of male

49:06

comedian in quotes that we see so much

49:08

of, And I think that you actually have a lot to

49:10

offer to both men or women in an

49:12

audience, Like I.

49:13

Think I do, but I think I'm exposed to.

49:15

Like your humor appeals to women and women alike.

49:18

Yeah, I think so.

49:18

Yeah, I feel like you have an emotion

49:21

and vulnerability in your act that's lacking from

49:23

a lot of male comedians act that

49:25

that would really resonate with a female audience.

49:27

So that's why we got you on this show.

49:29

Yeah, that's and thank you for having I do.

49:31

But like when I was coming here to do this, I was like, because

49:33

I think women like my act like

49:35

more or less. You know, it's a little more

49:38

like guy focused in ways, but it's not like unrelatable.

49:41

Women can laugh at both.

49:42

The women can also open themselves up to experiences

49:44

of men, something that men are not.

49:46

As great as. That's where some of

49:48

us are working on it.

49:49

Yeah, thank you, we appreciate that

49:51

a lot much. If you could do it fast.

49:55

At our next big meeting a thank you

49:57

actually in the chat for my special and there's a

49:59

lot of good stuff in there for you go. But

50:04

I talked about it and especially was like when she broke

50:07

up with me, she said,

50:09

ship that was so mean.

50:10

I knew she was thinking about it for a while.

50:14

I know exactly what I mean.

50:16

That's an inherently female thing, Like.

50:20

We need for that, like to feel

50:22

like you got them.

50:23

Yeah, because she was like, I

50:26

broke up with her, but

50:30

when.

50:30

She broke up?

50:31

What what like when we I meant to say when we broke

50:33

up, but like I broke up with her,

50:36

but she fucking how very feminine

50:38

eviscerated me, like she called

50:40

because you're like we were. She's she

50:43

literally sent me a text

50:45

like a week before she goes that I she

50:47

goes, she said, I say this, this is me doing

50:50

a little bit of the special. But she goes, she

50:53

goes, she sent me a text and all

50:55

it said was I sent you an email.

50:58

Yeah, and that's.

50:59

Exactly what I say, And there's all this stuff

51:01

in it and uh,

51:04

and I'm like, I need to take some time

51:06

to think about this, and she's like, of course, you

51:08

know, like you need to do that, like

51:10

that's fair, you know, like that Later a lot she was really

51:12

good, but

51:15

then like three days later, I go, hey, we

51:17

should talk and she was like this sounds

51:19

bad and I go like, well it

51:21

is, you know, like yeah, and

51:23

then she like instantly

51:26

stopped being sweet and called me

51:28

switch and just fucking

51:31

of this. Like so she was going to be sweet if she got

51:33

the answer she wanted, but she wasn't going to be mature.

51:34

Like that's she got but hurt. Yeah

51:37

she Wait, the email was the email.

51:39

The email was before after you broke up with.

51:41

The email was before The email was like kind

51:43

of like here we are at the yeah,

51:47

yeah, yeah, this is the bender break.

51:49

We have to both we have to both figure out how we both want

51:51

to pursue. Yeah, and she just and what she put

51:53

on the table you said no to.

51:55

Yes, correct girl.

51:56

Women not good at getting rejected.

51:59

No we need Men aren't no one is.

52:01

I think we don't need againder that men aren't.

52:03

Don't know. I've seen men

52:05

get rejected in public, and I'm

52:08

like, if I was that dude, I would fucking punch

52:10

that chick. But I just have less

52:12

less experience with it, like romantic rejection.

52:15

So I think that's why we sometimes

52:17

act very poorly when

52:19

it is thrust upon us. It's tough.

52:22

It's tough.

52:23

But she called and she just fucking what was what

52:25

was.

52:25

Some of the grievance issues, was like, let's go

52:27

through the hits.

52:28

You're well,

52:30

she said, you don't know how to love anyone, and

52:32

that.

52:33

Feels

52:37

like I feel sorry

52:39

for you.

52:39

You don't know how to love.

52:41

I just I

52:44

went back. But then I was like I went quickly through

52:46

my house.

52:47

Yeah.

52:48

I was like, I've definitely told someone they don't deserve love

52:50

before, so.

52:53

Yeah, I feel sorry for you that you can't.

52:56

You should be able to do these things at

52:58

your age was a phrase that was you.

53:01

Yeah, she's a bit younger

53:03

than me, but not she was. This

53:06

was a year and a half ago. So I was thirty eight

53:08

and she was twenty

53:11

nine, so like still twenties,

53:13

yeah, but and also sheltered.

53:15

She was a little she just she comes from a little bit of

53:17

privilege. So uh, but

53:21

she just fucking blasted and

53:23

what she.

53:24

Was like, and how can you do this? How can you break

53:26

up with me like this?

53:26

And I go the only thing I said, and

53:28

this was thirty minutes of me taking a beating

53:31

thirty minutes, I said barely anything, just

53:34

she just kept going and going. I was like, because

53:36

I knew logically where I knew she would

53:38

be mad, like when I cause when I made my decision,

53:40

I knew what she was kind of gonna

53:43

do. But I was like, she's going to react. She's

53:45

not a bad person. When I fucking

53:47

cried over this, I talked to my buddies about it. I was like, this

53:49

is gonna suck and decision, but

53:52

it was like, you got to do this. It's like going to be awful.

53:54

Yeah, and we're

53:56

proud of you. Man very rarely do the breaking.

53:58

Yes, I'm trying to do a thing that would

54:00

like just be a man like it just like it doesn't exactly.

54:03

Yeah, Like I'm just trying to And it takes a while

54:05

for everyone to learn how to be an adult.

54:07

You don't like it's super manly. Yeah,

54:10

okay, I want Sorry,

54:12

I don't want. I don't know, doesn't

54:15

want to be doesn't

54:17

want to be that people like.

54:18

You want to be in even though people

54:21

are in marriages their whole lives because they don't know

54:23

how to like leave someone, Yeah, and it sucks

54:26

and they're miserable, and it's

54:28

like, it's so like me, like I did this, And then

54:30

the only thing I said the whole.

54:32

Time she was like, how could you break up? What's someone

54:34

like this?

54:34

Which is, by the way, it's not like I took

54:36

her to Paris and dumped under the Eiffel Tower, like

54:41

you know, it was like I tried to think about Yeah,

54:46

I didn't like Ti Facer slam

54:48

a drink out of her hand and walk out.

54:50

Yeah, and then.

54:51

I go And then I just screamed like and

54:54

I don't I'm pretty even

54:56

killed.

54:56

Yeah, you don't have to make excuses, you screamed

54:58

it.

54:58

It's fine.

55:00

On the phone, I was like, if everybody knew how to break up

55:02

with someone, this wouldn't be so goddamn hard.

55:05

And she just like was quiet and like

55:07

a little bit of logic said and she's like I gotta go fuck

55:09

you.

55:11

Then oh man.

55:13

An hour later, oh no.

55:15

She text me like maybe a novel's

55:17

worth of like things that don't

55:19

do right. And then the last thing is the

55:22

last thing is you can text

55:24

her call me if you got I'm done. I don't want to hear anything

55:26

else. And I was like, but if you have something you want to say you

55:28

can sell. That's like her leaving her flag

55:30

up for me to like come talk to

55:32

her.

55:33

Yes, And then I was like, okay, I just

55:35

wrote okay.

55:37

I wrote okay.

55:38

I wrote okay, I'll talk to you when I'm ready to talk to you. Okay.

55:40

That we have not

55:42

talked at all. But then the next day she

55:44

text me, she goes, I hope you're doing okay, And I was like, I'm.

55:46

Trying to try emotionally abusing you.

55:48

I go, I hope you're doing okay too, and she goes, I'm

55:51

not. And this was like the worst

55:53

part. She goes, I'm not doing okay. And then I text back,

55:56

I'm really sorry, but I you know, I'll talk

55:58

to you when I can talk to.

55:59

You, because like that was like that's her.

56:01

That was her move to like to manipulate

56:03

you.

56:03

You have to give me to come back because I tried to break up with her

56:05

once before because and

56:07

we did go through a good patch after, so it wasn't like

56:09

a waste of time.

56:11

But uh, I mean it's I guess it's.

56:13

All wasted time to her, Well, yeah,

56:15

that's the thing. I think women are sold this idea

56:17

of relationships and then the pair

56:19

with the rejection thing of like us, we don't get rejected

56:21

that often, we don't get dump that often. And

56:24

so all of that together is like the perfect storm

56:26

of like a woman losing her ship if she doesn't have

56:28

a sense of self yeah you know.

56:30

Yeah, and she needs it, like she needs to be like

56:32

she needed to think that needs well, she

56:35

needed like me to be her thing,

56:37

like that's the thing she was concerned like I have that,

56:39

like that that was her most

56:42

important thing in her life was me.

56:43

I've seen a comedian boyfriend, which is one of those

56:46

my boyfriends is standup comedian. Yeah,

56:50

we see it all the time.

56:51

Though people like Fieri.

56:54

There's a part of me that's like that is that's

56:57

cool.

56:57

It is it is.

56:58

It's cool to have a boyfriend who's I.

57:00

Do it and it's great to have

57:02

I love so

57:05

sad, but like that

57:08

to me is attractive thing I look for and apart

57:10

like totally, like I

57:13

think that's like people having shit going on is

57:15

like really sexy, like

57:18

and it doesn't mean like, yes, they

57:20

don't have to be writing on private

57:22

jets with jay Z or a more current rappers.

57:25

But like I love when people are like she's

57:27

only with you because you're successful

57:29

and rich and doing amazing things.

57:31

It's like yeah, yes, yeah,

57:34

they have a high standard. Yeah, like they

57:36

might actually like you too, Like the people

57:39

will assault you with things like they're only with you because

57:41

you're like you make money and you're successful and you do cool things

57:43

like yeah, you're good. Why are you talking

57:45

to me then, because I'm a sounds like

57:47

it's the only thing you want to do with me.

57:50

I'm a nice person.

57:51

Too, like that, you know those cave man instincts of like

57:53

you know men straight men like big

57:56

breast because you know, deep down and stinctually

57:58

that tells them that you could feed a baby when

58:00

you have a baby.

58:01

Or I think we're away from that.

58:03

Totally, but I think a woman having

58:05

a career is like or a

58:07

guy or a girl a partner having

58:09

a lot going on for them. You envision

58:11

your future of like, yes, that's

58:13

a fun ass future future

58:16

future. Yeah, that's

58:18

the future. I want to be a part of it.

58:20

But that's true, Like I

58:23

and they don't even really what they have to do is be attempting

58:25

things and doing But like even if it's not like they're

58:27

not killing it, Like where they want.

58:29

To be, but.

58:32

I don't, like I'll be. We're there for you if you

58:34

fail, but you have to make big moves, big,

58:36

make big attempts. I don't care.

58:38

And a big attempt can be like, yeah, it

58:40

doesn't have to be like the sexiest professional

58:42

thing or the sexiest like, but you need

58:44

to be contributing and really trying to do something

58:47

that makes you happy in this world because we're I

58:49

love.

58:49

A niche interest, a niche

58:51

interest, or like a niche career, and you're like, fuck, there's

58:53

yeah, there has.

58:54

To be a person like learning something about somebody.

58:56

Yeah yeah, because when people make big attempts,

58:58

that to me says they that someone they see

59:01

greatness or the potential for greatness within themselves,

59:03

which is extremely important to me. Now it's

59:05

like, how can I see potential in you

59:07

when you can't see potential on you? And so many

59:10

people expect their partner to fucking

59:12

mind this potential out of them, and it's like, no,

59:15

I don't support the potential. I'm not going to fucking

59:17

mine it out of you.

59:18

Though it is also okay when you are

59:20

seventeen or eighteen to like

59:23

be like this person is going to make me happy, you're dumb

59:25

and you still have an idea of like to be

59:27

like this is not no right, but

59:29

and yes, and that's the thing. It's like I'm not fucking

59:33

pulling you all the way across the finish line.

59:35

I just can't do it, you know, Like that's

59:37

not fun.

59:38

You know, like I will, I will do it

59:40

if you are trying to do it yourself, right,

59:43

But that shit's fucking exhausting, man, And

59:45

like if your career, like you guys are obviously

59:48

talented, career minded women who have done what Like That's

59:53

like I don't know why it's hard for men to

59:55

handle that in a relation truly, because

59:57

I like, like if what I

59:59

was dating one of you, and like I got all my own ships, and I'd be like,

1:00:01

fucking cool, go do it, like I will do my ship,

1:00:04

like yeah, and we'll find a time.

1:00:05

But you're saying that as a man who has a lot going for himself

1:00:07

and is like doing cool ship. So I wonder if

1:00:09

that has I wonder if it's the man's insecurity

1:00:12

of them not being where they want to be that

1:00:14

just makes them a bitter bitch.

1:00:15

Yeah, or or a woman, yeah, like

1:00:17

either side of it, If.

1:00:20

You were dating another comedian and like

1:00:23

she had like been in the game less long than you

1:00:25

and then gets a Netflix special and then you don't

1:00:27

have a Netflix special, Like how

1:00:29

are you feeling about she?

1:00:32

Yeah, well, like, as long as they're not funnier

1:00:34

than me, I'll be fine, Like they can

1:00:36

be more successful.

1:00:37

But so okay, so you

1:00:40

well, like I don't know if there is anyone.

1:00:44

Okay, Todd Barry, Yeah, yeah, I'm

1:00:46

definitely moving in that direction.

1:00:48

By the way.

1:00:49

No, I mean, of course I

1:00:51

would. I really would.

1:00:53

I think I mean that would be and that I'm

1:00:56

not that would be an adjustment, Like if somebody

1:00:58

was a funnier person than me and

1:01:00

a more successful person in the same field as me.

1:01:02

I'm not saying that wouldn't come with its own challenges, but

1:01:08

I think it's doable. I think I'm a sensible enough

1:01:10

person to figure it out if I love them that much. But

1:01:12

if not, we're probably going to break up. But it's not

1:01:14

going to be like, it doesn't mean it's a failure

1:01:16

completely as a relationship.

1:01:18

I know, I feel like we got we got a little

1:01:20

cheated by this idea that

1:01:23

a relationship not working is a failure it's like, but

1:01:25

all of them don't work. Yeah, none of them

1:01:27

work, and then one does and then you die.

1:01:29

Yeah, so that's okay, you should put

1:01:31

that on like an anniversary card.

1:01:33

Yeah, I agree.

1:01:33

But I think it's like they're like I look

1:01:35

at like a lot of relationships I've had as

1:01:38

successes, like I.

1:01:39

Learned a lot, which

1:01:43

is the success learning?

1:01:44

Yeah, I think so.

1:01:46

And like most of my ex is still most

1:01:49

of my serious ones, A few of them I

1:01:51

still talk to, and then like one

1:01:54

or two, I know, I'm fine, I just don't talk to them.

1:01:56

Yeah, and then this one is probably

1:01:58

the only one that will never like talk to me.

1:02:00

Yeah, being but hurt is

1:02:02

Yeah, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

1:02:04

Yeah, I like wonder if I'll see or something.

1:02:06

I think she'll talk to you when she's older. Yeah,

1:02:09

I think twenty nine is young.

1:02:10

Still, Well she did also,

1:02:16

Uh so I found out later I went to New Orleans

1:02:18

and she was texting my like my buddy

1:02:20

there like pretty quickly after.

1:02:23

And he met nineteen.

1:02:25

Yeah, he chopped it off like I don't know how quickly I.

1:02:28

Hurt your feelings, Shange exactly. Yeah,

1:02:31

she's I'm not saying

1:02:33

she's great. I'm saying I think she'll reach out when she

1:02:35

matures a little bit. But I'm like that move is

1:02:37

like, that's a three year relationship off

1:02:39

of petty because my boyfriend cheated on him. I'm like, I'm going

1:02:41

to date one of your bandmates and I just introduced

1:02:43

myself on my Space and we dated for three years. He

1:02:45

was actually very lovely. That's Petty one.

1:02:47

That guy.

1:02:48

Oh he's lovely. He lived in California

1:02:50

as a musician. This was ages ago. But I'm like,

1:02:52

he's a great guy. It happened to be a great guy.

1:02:54

But Petty is I

1:02:57

can fall in love with somebody. If the

1:02:59

jets behind me is Petty, it's

1:03:02

fucked up. I know it's not I'm not proud. I

1:03:05

know I'm not proud of it. But women, you know

1:03:07

we're not gonna take

1:03:09

you down, but we will emotionally take

1:03:11

you down. Shane, if you piss

1:03:13

us off enough, I definitely have hit hit up

1:03:15

friends of access just to just to

1:03:18

piss them off for sure. Yeah, when the

1:03:20

guy when that's an advantage.

1:03:22

You guys, ladies have over

1:03:24

like y guys.

1:03:27

Yes everyone,

1:03:31

woman, No, that's not true. After I

1:03:33

broke up with an Ax. There was a lot of a

1:03:36

couple of comedian female comedians who didn't

1:03:38

like me try to fuck my accent and hit him up immediately.

1:03:40

No, No, that's not what I'm saying.

1:03:42

What the point I'm trying to make is like, if

1:03:44

I'm dating you and then uh

1:03:48

uh.

1:03:49

You do something shitty's break up with

1:03:51

you?

1:03:51

Yes, like because I like.

1:03:55

Because I feel like you're you're the like the

1:03:59

you think there's a sisterhood or what.

1:04:01

I don't have a round tell each other ship?

1:04:02

Yeah, like you're you're or whatever.

1:04:06

I can see why you're having trouble with the women's

1:04:08

stats. Yes, you know,

1:04:10

we have our period. Every time we get mad, every time a

1:04:12

man pisses us off, we start bleeding. Yeah,

1:04:15

it's all you do it on command?

1:04:16

Really Yeah, well I can't wait and then

1:04:18

I pissed off, Like three or three ladies had their period

1:04:20

on the subway.

1:04:21

Here him

1:04:23

with my backpack when I walked up.

1:04:26

No, have you ever done anything petty like that? Like has

1:04:28

a grid has a woman

1:04:30

ever hurt? Like, what's the shittiest thing

1:04:32

we've ever hurt? Has a woman ever done it? Like, what's the shittiest

1:04:35

thing a woman's onto you. Like

1:04:38

men are capable of some ship man,

1:04:41

so are women. I'm just wondering.

1:04:44

I don't know what like the ship. I don't know how

1:04:46

much score I keep with that stuff. I mean, I definitely have memories

1:04:48

of it, but like I'm

1:04:52

sure, like I don't like one.

1:04:53

Uh.

1:04:56

One time after my dad died, I went

1:04:58

I had dated this woman like right after, which was

1:05:00

like, I put my grief in the relationship

1:05:02

and that's on me.

1:05:04

Uh. And this is one of the women I'm still

1:05:06

actually friends with.

1:05:07

Uh.

1:05:08

She does my website does a good job. Check it out. You

1:05:11

go get the link to the special there.

1:05:14

Blue Eye Mexican. It's Wee Bird Krasher

1:05:16

on YouTube.

1:05:17

Thank you. I just want to make sure we're getting this in. I need

1:05:19

this time.

1:05:19

We do a huge plug at the end door. Oh yeah,

1:05:22

I don't know you've done the show, and we'll

1:05:24

do.

1:05:24

But it was like three years ago but

1:05:31

we broke up.

1:05:32

I had this thing, this like event that was

1:05:34

like my thing in Portland when I still lived there, that

1:05:37

she had nothing to do with. And it was like

1:05:40

five days later and she just showed up to the event because

1:05:42

she was part of like and it wasn't like the meanest

1:05:44

thing, but it's like I was like, this is fucking inconsiderate,

1:05:47

like like you don't need to be here. Yeah, there's

1:05:50

nothing like I'm not excluding

1:05:52

you from anything in our community, like

1:05:55

this is just.

1:05:57

Here for a little bunch of dicks on your face.

1:06:02

But it was also you know, like also like I

1:06:04

think I that being said, I

1:06:08

did not handle that breakup well for like a while.

1:06:10

So really, yeah, I wasn't like yelling

1:06:12

at her.

1:06:13

I wasn't a psycho or anything, but I was just like sad

1:06:15

because I was like drunk and like hadn't

1:06:18

really put my dad's.

1:06:19

Death to bed.

1:06:20

Yeah yeah, and you know like I kind of like,

1:06:22

I don't I say, took it out on her, but I didn't make it

1:06:24

easy on her to be around me and my friends and

1:06:26

she was part of the community.

1:06:28

Yeah, but that happens.

1:06:30

That was like thirteen years ago, so yeah.

1:06:32

You react how you react.

1:06:33

Yeah, So it was like.

1:06:34

Not to make excuses for it, Like I apologize immensely

1:06:36

for it, but like that's kind of the ship.

1:06:37

Like penny moves are just shit.

1:06:39

Like yeah, sometimes they feel good

1:06:41

though, but yeah, yeah, like when someone screws you

1:06:44

over.

1:06:44

You're like, oh, it's like I wish

1:06:46

I sometimes I just want to yell things

1:06:48

at people that are upsetting me and call

1:06:50

them every word I'm not allowed to say,

1:06:52

because I feel like that'll be the only thing that

1:06:55

makes me feel better.

1:06:57

Yeah. Yeah, and then it makes feel worse.

1:06:59

Yeah, but the release feels

1:07:01

good.

1:07:02

It's like, where do you put those feelings? What

1:07:04

do you can just go jerk off? It's not going to go Sometimes

1:07:07

you're in line, you know you can't do that.

1:07:08

I guess I have to go jog like the

1:07:11

worse. Yeah, So

1:07:14

are you dating? I

1:07:17

don't know what I'm doing anymore with these people?

1:07:19

Are you on apps?

1:07:21

No? I don't like. They're not favorable,

1:07:23

Yeah they're not.

1:07:25

They're weird.

1:07:26

Yeah, well, I don't know.

1:07:28

Like when you're in comic, I feel like just yeah, it doesn't

1:07:30

comic just meetings an audience member is much

1:07:32

easier.

1:07:33

But that's not I don't like. I don't pull women like that.

1:07:36

That's not a thing I do.

1:07:37

Yeah, but women will come up to you, I imagine, Yeah,

1:07:39

when we're bold.

1:07:40

Now because they're not as bold, they're

1:07:43

not as bold like I think they're bolder with certain people.

1:07:46

Uh,

1:07:54

but but you you strike me as a man

1:07:56

that a woman can be bold with.

1:07:59

I don't know, Like, yeah,

1:08:01

why I agree with that?

1:08:02

Like what do you what do you give me an example of what do you.

1:08:04

Think if I would flirt with you aggressively,

1:08:06

if I've never met you before and I wanted to flirt with you, I would

1:08:08

just feel very comfortable doing it. I would come up to

1:08:10

your after a show and be like, yeah, you'reant fuck. Yeah, yeah,

1:08:13

you would just say that to someone like

1:08:15

me because you're not. You're not trash, You're

1:08:17

not a trash man.

1:08:18

I come off that way. You think I come off that

1:08:20

way?

1:08:20

You guys have known me for ten years probably, Yeah,

1:08:23

you think I come off that way as

1:08:25

a performer to these women.

1:08:27

Yes, I've seen your act many times. I feel

1:08:29

comfortable doing it.

1:08:30

Yes, that's wild because in my mind,

1:08:32

why how do you think you because I like, you

1:08:35

know whatever, I used to be a fat kid. I'm still a big dude.

1:08:37

Like there's like their self, Yes

1:08:40

they.

1:08:40

Do, Okay, So I don't think no one cares about it. Women

1:08:43

really don't. I don't think I think a

1:08:45

lot of women like fat guys.

1:08:46

Yeah, yeah, and I don't like the biggest

1:08:49

fucking blimp in the world or anything, you know, but like

1:08:51

and then some of it's attractive, you know, like to some people,

1:08:54

but it's it is just like it feels me when

1:08:56

women are hitting on me that aggressively. I almost

1:08:58

feel like I'm being punk.

1:09:00

Men say that all the time. Boyfriends

1:09:02

thought that, and I was like another comic had

1:09:05

to say to him, like Nate McIntosh had to

1:09:07

be like, she's hitting on you

1:09:09

clearer, does she need to make this? And

1:09:13

I was like, why would you think of that? This is not a funny

1:09:15

joke. I literally tell jokes professionally. This isn't

1:09:17

funny. Why would this be a punk?

1:09:18

I don't know. But it's like that's where.

1:09:22

What you think where that means no? But

1:09:24

I also, Shane,

1:09:30

I'm gonna.

1:09:33

Comedian.

1:09:33

I want to guess what I

1:09:35

know.

1:09:35

I'm going to touch Shane's legs. See how quick he

1:09:37

starts to sweat?

1:09:38

Yeah, no, no, no, But it's

1:09:41

like no, but like I have been, you

1:09:44

are not an enemy to women.

1:09:45

No, I don't think so, you know, like not that I

1:09:47

know of.

1:09:48

Yeah, but you

1:09:51

there is a point where like when you're

1:09:53

that guy, you are like friend

1:09:55

zoned so often and then some things

1:09:58

you know, like women will do this to men,

1:10:00

and I don't know if they do it to all men, and men definitely

1:10:03

do it to women too, but I think it happens the other way

1:10:05

more where you like go

1:10:07

to them for like affection

1:10:09

on tap and an emotional like when they're.

1:10:12

With their guy friends all the time.

1:10:13

Yeah, and it's the fucking don't boyfriend.

1:10:14

If you want me to be a boyfriend, you

1:10:17

know, I'll I'll date you or I'll be your boy

1:10:19

but like that ship has happened so much

1:10:21

so if you were you were hitting

1:10:23

on me in a bar after are flirting, in

1:10:25

my mind, it's like, well you need to be like

1:10:28

remarkably clear, like

1:10:30

as opposed to as opposed

1:10:32

to just you

1:10:35

know, with a stranger. It's different, like obviously,

1:10:37

so.

1:10:37

You think some people could just be doing it because they need some attention.

1:10:40

As an

1:10:47

enormous amount to me, like I know, yeah.

1:10:52

This, yeah, nice

1:10:55

asshole. What

1:10:59

it's not easy for me to not be nice, like I'm

1:11:01

I'm found myself.

1:11:02

That wasn't nice. I

1:11:04

just can't be.

1:11:05

Not I'm a southern gentleman's

1:11:08

nature.

1:11:09

No, it's not I don't think, but I know,

1:11:11

but I also I'm trying to learn how to

1:11:14

you know, you know, we're all trying to grow.

1:11:16

However, we need to say some boundaries.

1:11:17

Yeah, but like that sh it sucks, you know.

1:11:19

Like so if like, uh,

1:11:22

you know, we see each other through work, right, So

1:11:24

like I automatically assume, like if one

1:11:27

of you text me or we talk or it's like

1:11:29

it's work for a work yeah, which is fine whatever,

1:11:31

But if then you don't get.

1:11:32

Anything, you up to text yourulators,

1:11:35

yeahalator, I truly

1:11:38

hope both of you text me and you.

1:11:42

Thrill me.

1:11:45

And then and I'll be like, yeah, do you think Brian likes

1:11:47

me? It could be the next thing. But

1:11:50

it's like it's like it get fucks with you.

1:11:51

You know, So I don't know what to do, you know, like you

1:11:54

do have that and I mean what I meant

1:11:57

what I said about the bold, like a woman

1:11:59

could be bold with you. But I also see I

1:12:01

could see there's a couple of guys in my life.

1:12:04

I don't do it too much, but I like sometimes

1:12:06

I'm like I want attension and I flirt with them. Yeah,

1:12:08

I see, and I see I could

1:12:10

see you having that archetype

1:12:13

to you. Women read women

1:12:16

can read a man.

1:12:18

You guys are emotionally instantly. You

1:12:20

guys have like across the board. I

1:12:22

think I have better emotional intelligence reading than

1:12:25

women do.

1:12:25

The men, but like I do these things.

1:12:27

Like So, I was dating

1:12:29

this gal and then we broke up because

1:12:33

she's very pretty, but she kind of ended up

1:12:36

being like what was she washing? And

1:12:38

I just was like, hey, we're not doing this anymore.

1:12:39

Was she washing towards you?

1:12:40

Yeah?

1:12:41

And I was like I'm not doing this and she was like what are you talking

1:12:43

about? And I was like, you're like very hot

1:12:45

and cold and like sometimes it's like it's just suit.

1:12:47

So I'm done.

1:12:48

And she couldn't because you have a backbone.

1:12:50

Yeah, because she could. And she also she

1:12:52

couldn't believe it.

1:12:53

Yeah, hawk, girls, when you were jecting a girl

1:12:56

feeling I can't,

1:12:58

I can't.

1:12:59

Yeah, it was truly

1:13:02

like watching when like TV's used to turn off

1:13:04

and they're like like she couldn't.

1:13:07

She was like bawling her eyes out and

1:13:09

I was like and then she was like I wanna. Then

1:13:13

when I was like leaving town, she was like, did

1:13:15

you make it to the airport yet?

1:13:16

Did you land. I never heard that kind of shit. I

1:13:18

was like yeah.

1:13:20

Then I was like, yeah,

1:13:23

everything's fine. And I was like, you seem like you got a lot more

1:13:25

you want to say, because you're still texting me like

1:13:28

the way you converse.

1:13:29

Here's what I'm doing. I'm gonna give you a week.

1:13:32

If I don't hear from you, I'll text you because

1:13:34

you do seem like yet more you want to say, So think about what you want.

1:13:36

To say, very

1:13:38

sexy and very impressed.

1:13:39

And yes,

1:13:42

and she just goes okay, And

1:13:44

then she texted me and she was like it was a really great time, but

1:13:46

I think something happened. And I was like, what happened?

1:13:49

You know, like we all know, like you like you

1:13:51

got like disinterested, which is like fine.

1:13:53

But I'm not I'm not here for that.

1:13:55

Yeah.

1:13:55

And you were also like dating someone else, which

1:13:58

is also fine. Uh, even

1:14:00

though you asked me not to date other people, which was a little ship. Uh.

1:14:05

Yeah, And I because she thought she she really

1:14:07

does think I'm lucky

1:14:10

to date her, which I was, but she also

1:14:12

is lucky to date me. Like that's how I feel about it,

1:14:14

Like kick that ship down

1:14:16

the fucking road.

1:14:17

I'm not doing that. And that's also something you learn as

1:14:19

you get old.

1:14:20

Both parties should feel lucky to be dating the other party.

1:14:23

Yeah, so like that, So

1:14:25

I just don't and that's

1:14:27

happened, you know, Like and whenever I got something

1:14:29

going on, she she'll reach

1:14:31

out a little bit.

1:14:32

And this happens with other women too, man,

1:14:34

So I like it's like some of them.

1:14:36

I think some of them I think are

1:14:38

good and like don't mean to

1:14:40

be like that, you know, like like and

1:14:43

are just like happy for me because there's some part

1:14:45

of them still loves me and cares.

1:14:46

About it, you know, Like you need to run a tighter ship.

1:14:48

Is what this is revealing.

1:14:51

When you say you're

1:14:54

yeah, that might help. I wore a collared

1:14:56

shirt for you guys.

1:14:56

It's like a better but the

1:14:59

way you you dress, there's nothing wrong

1:15:01

with that. No, it's uh yeah,

1:15:05

I feel like you're painting a rocky Yeah,

1:15:08

you're just you're too nice and you let

1:15:11

people get away with too much until it's too late,

1:15:13

I think. But I will say the boundary

1:15:15

you put on with that hot girl that we were like, hey, you're

1:15:17

being wishy washing them out, and she's like, well he wasn't

1:15:20

that earlier it can be before you've been

1:15:22

pushed out of the relationship emotionally.

1:15:25

She got, so, how do you do it.

1:15:28

Earlier on and not come up like because

1:15:31

it just seemed like a timing thing. Yeah, because

1:15:33

I got to be like, we've been dating for two weeks.

1:15:34

And you haven't worked time to hang out, you

1:15:37

know, like don't text her back like kind of like play

1:15:39

hard to get a little bit, because guys

1:15:41

don't play get the girls.

1:15:43

You have to.

1:15:44

I've seen I have. I have a friend who's like gorgeous,

1:15:46

and I watched the men just like fucking line

1:15:48

up and just do anything you want. You're like, gross,

1:15:51

that's so boring. Yeah, the ones that catch

1:15:53

our interests are like, hey, you know, maybe I'm around next

1:15:55

week. I don't know. And she's like, well, what the fuck?

1:15:57

Yeah, presents a bit of a challenge, and like the thing

1:15:59

is that shouldn't be hard for you. You really do have things

1:16:02

going on.

1:16:02

Yeah, I'm not too worried about it, but it is like

1:16:05

on an app this is how we got here is

1:16:07

also you know, like I think I'm good looking,

1:16:10

but I'm also not.

1:16:10

I'm like, you know, I don't look like uh whoever.

1:16:14

That's a hot piece of ass right now, but

1:16:16

like I don't think about hot guy.

1:16:18

But I also like, you know, like I have this, like I got the beard

1:16:21

and long hair, and I look like, you know, like whatever, you're

1:16:23

tiny, yeah, you

1:16:26

know, and then like those apps are not good for that, so

1:16:28

I don't funk with those, Like it's

1:16:30

really hard. And also a bigger guy on an app does

1:16:32

not get a lot of swipes even if they are.

1:16:35

It's it's true, well that's kind of That's what I'm saying.

1:16:37

I feel like, app, you're going to get someone more than

1:16:39

you deserve. And I feel like if

1:16:41

you yeah, I feel like it's

1:16:44

like you're a comedian who's like really

1:16:46

funny and doing well, Like use

1:16:48

that to get a higher caliber woman.

1:16:50

Yeah, but it's.

1:16:53

It's going well and it's like I'm doing

1:16:55

very well. But like it's good to hear,

1:16:58

you know. I guess I get

1:17:00

weird about it, Like I get weird about represents

1:17:02

how you represent yourself, you know, because I tried to be

1:17:05

pretty candid. I think I think I'm

1:17:07

okay at it. So sometimes I don't want people

1:17:09

to be like, well, you only make six figures,

1:17:11

but it's low six you're like or whatever,

1:17:14

you know, like you don't.

1:17:15

Know how needs know exactly, I don't know what ye

1:17:18

special? That's

1:17:20

cool enough, and your

1:17:22

special is out now to view

1:17:24

on YouTube. It's called Blue Eyed Mexican.

1:17:26

Yes, the Blue Eyed Mexican. Birth thought I wanted it to

1:17:28

be googleable. Yeah,

1:17:31

so Birth thought of that, and I was like, let's do that because I'm

1:17:33

going to call it something like and.

1:17:35

Let's people know how diverse you and how

1:17:37

inclusive bird is.

1:17:38

Yes, you think that's what it is.

1:17:40

Yes, it's very helping bird. Actually, we're onto

1:17:43

you bird.

1:17:47

This is like a lady Leanne

1:17:49

his wife produced it really is

1:17:52

like did you guys

1:17:54

have you guys done her pod and all that.

1:17:56

Kind of it.

1:17:58

She's great, she's wonderful, so cute.

1:18:00

She's the best and she's like I saw her driving Toms

1:18:02

Girl's car online the other day. Was so kind

1:18:05

of car? Does he have like a really nice

1:18:07

you know about cars? It was it was like a

1:18:09

sports car loader the ground.

1:18:12

Like it doesn't have it doesn't have

1:18:14

a pedal. It's got like switches on the steering wheels

1:18:16

and stuff. Yeah, you can switch

1:18:18

gears really fast and stuff.

1:18:20

Yeah, it was pretty neat. Yeah, but like she

1:18:22

came back I amped from that drive.

1:18:23

Yeah, but she's like she's a she put like she

1:18:27

they both produced it, but like LeeAnne really punched

1:18:29

across the finish.

1:18:30

Yeah, it was really sweet.

1:18:31

I loved where she's like special,

1:18:34

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, but then

1:18:37

put his name on it. Okay, we see you, Burt. Yeah,

1:18:39

but.

1:18:43

It does and like her name is all over the special.

1:18:45

And so yeah yeah, and like she's

1:18:48

lovely. She knows

1:18:51

I love Burt, which is she's been very cool about

1:18:55

podcast. And I was like a couple of years ago be like I have

1:18:57

a crush on Burt, And I was like, I know you has a wife. Sorry,

1:19:00

but like she's like, just chill about it. Also,

1:19:02

I think it's fine to say that you have a crush on someone as long

1:19:04

as you just like don't act on it if they're married.

1:19:06

Yeah, no, I have like yeah, like the crushes

1:19:08

are fine. I think it's no,

1:19:11

it's well, it depends on who

1:19:13

it's with. Sometimes sometimes you have a crush

1:19:15

on someone and they're like I have a crush on you too, and you're like,

1:19:18

well this is I just it's

1:19:20

like an almost perfect shower

1:19:22

tone, like like well,

1:19:24

like when

1:19:27

someone is unavailable and you have a crush on them and

1:19:29

then you find out they have a little crush on you. That

1:19:32

is like that's almost like getting into a hotel

1:19:35

shower and you're like, this is the perfect temperature already,

1:19:37

right right, right's do something disgusting

1:19:40

here.

1:19:40

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

1:19:42

Ask stuff. Yeah for sure.

1:19:45

You know my crush is not like that.

1:19:46

No, no, she nice, she's really

1:19:49

nice. I was talking about

1:19:51

you. Actually you're very nice too.

1:19:53

Oh I love

1:19:55

lean.

1:19:57

But yeah, where were we?

1:19:59

Sorry, while we're gonna wrap. Yeah,

1:20:01

we're plugging and wrapping this time. It went by

1:20:04

so fast because it was a lovely conversation. So

1:20:06

the special the Blue Eye Mexican on YouTube

1:20:08

and follow you. I want people to follow you

1:20:10

online so they could see your tour dates because you are so

1:20:13

fucking funny that thank you so enjoyable.

1:20:15

Every time I'm going to show with you, I have to watch you like, which

1:20:17

we're not a lot of shows together, but like.

1:20:19

We're always I see you like you

1:20:21

are on or I am on, like

1:20:24

we are literally like I'm like, thank you so much for

1:20:26

switching spots.

1:20:27

And I have to go to Gotham.

1:20:29

But that's how I see you. Yeah,

1:20:31

and then I don't see her in much. I guess she's just not saw.

1:20:34

There was a while we were on constantly

1:20:37

and they're all bad. Remember we had this, we

1:20:39

had this run of shows where we're just doing tons

1:20:41

of shows together. I did well, No,

1:20:43

it was That's not true.

1:20:47

Literally a lot I do not remember each

1:20:50

other.

1:20:50

I'm trying to get people to watch my specially. I don't want

1:20:52

to hear about how I was on bad.

1:20:54

It was opening for pat your questions

1:20:56

that they don't know comedy. When Oswald

1:20:59

filmed his after his wife had passed

1:21:01

away, were you there in Chicago? No,

1:21:03

at Austin wasn't an Austin or Chicago.

1:21:05

It was in Chicago.

1:21:06

Yeah, I think you were there too. We were there for a festival

1:21:09

that wasn't his special. He was just doing.

1:21:10

He was just he did he take that night?

1:21:12

He did yeah at the at the on was part of the Onion

1:21:14

Festival, and we did that the show in the fancy

1:21:17

Virgin Hotel.

1:21:17

Yeah yeah, yeah. Then why were we saying

1:21:19

it was Chicago because it definitely wasn't Chicago.

1:21:21

It was a hundred because that's where his wife

1:21:23

was from. That's why he shot it there.

1:21:25

So then it wasn't the special that we saw because it was I was

1:21:27

in Texas with Christina with the show's referenced.

1:21:29

Well, then you saw me, That's what I'm saying.

1:21:30

When he shot a special. He shot it at the Anthonyeum

1:21:32

in Chicago. Okay, so maybe you saw

1:21:34

him shoot something else and I was there.

1:21:36

I don't know if it was being shot though, so maybe he just performed

1:21:39

his hour in Austin. Either way, that's

1:21:41

the first time I saw you. You did like twenty minutes

1:21:43

or half hour, and it was just I was like, who the fuck

1:21:45

is this guy? Like your joke writing is so good?

1:21:47

So thank you.

1:21:48

Seriously, guys go watch his special You Are

1:21:50

You Are. If you're not, you're missing out.

1:21:52

Thank you.

1:21:53

It's Shane is a comedian dot com Shane Tors

1:21:55

on all the platforms.

1:21:56

I don't know, it might not be that on you

1:21:59

said it like chorus, So t o r R

1:22:01

E s.

1:22:03

A astrology right

1:22:05

now?

1:22:07

R R E s Yes, Shane Taurus,

1:22:10

the blue Eyed Mexican. I got a podcast with Kyle Kane

1:22:13

called No Accounting for Taste. It's very I

1:22:16

can see why my audience is skewing so heavily. But

1:22:18

when I think about, like who produces my specials?

1:22:21

And but yeah,

1:22:23

I made something and I'm very proud of it. And uh,

1:22:26

there's a lot of different kinds of people who did a lot of

1:22:28

different kinds of work. So I think if

1:22:30

people watch it, they'll will like it. I think I did something pretty

1:22:32

good and it's a little different. It looks different nice,

1:22:34

and it's a shout out a cool little

1:22:36

indie rock club.

1:22:37

It doesn't.

1:22:37

It's yeah, so yeah,

1:22:40

we love genuine.

1:22:42

You can tell because I can't look at the camera when I'm talking about

1:22:44

myself.

1:22:45

It's all good, yea, all right, Thank you so much, Shane,

1:22:47

you.

1:22:47

Guys on the show. Thanks for appreciate you. Nice

1:22:49

to see you.

1:22:50

Check out Blue Eyed Mexican on YouTube.

1:22:52

But this has been Guys We Fucked,

1:22:55

the anti slot shipping podcast. We'll talk to

1:22:57

you next Friday. Guys

1:23:01

We Fucked is presented by Luminary, created

1:23:03

and hosted by Karn Fisher and Christina

1:23:06

Hutchinson's editing and music coordination

1:23:08

by Mike Coscarelli. Theme song by

1:23:10

Rob Patterson and Jake Cosen Suck

1:23:12

my wet Ass Pussy Christina

1:23:15

sends to cut that before, but now it's in their Yeah, let's

1:23:17

keep it because.

1:23:35

Indeed, sho,

1:24:00

I got it from my MoMA, mamma.

1:24:04

I want to tell my mom.

1:24:06

I want that from my mom, Mom

1:24:09

mom com wanna

1:24:11

prom