0:00

Welcome the Guys We Find the Anti

0:02

Slutshamings Podcast.

0:05

I'm Christina Hutchings, I'm Karen Fisher,

0:07

and I'm ya boy friends.

0:09

We bring up to its flooding, your horning

0:12

and your shame. Hey with what yes?

0:14

Okay? Greetings

0:19

buckers, where you been? How you

0:21

doing?

0:22

Did you drink enough water today? Welcome

0:24

to another episode of Guys We

0:26

Fucked. It's the Anti slut Jaman podcast.

0:28

I'm Karen Fisher, I'm Christina Hutchinson.

0:31

Welcome to the show. If you are in New York

0:33

City on Thursday, March seventh, we

0:35

are doing our last for a while, Guys

0:37

We Fucked Live at the MasterCard Midnight

0:40

Theater. You're gonna want to get a ticket to that, And if you're

0:42

not in New York City, if you can't afford the

0:44

live ticket, if you just don't feel like fucking putting

0:46

pants on. We also live stream these

0:49

shows. The video quality is great.

0:51

I always watch the video

0:53

version after its thumbs up. You

0:56

can't participate, but other than that, you

0:58

can see all the fun stuff that goes on these shows

1:00

that you definitely don't want to miss. So if you can't

1:02

be there in person, definitely pick up one of the live

1:04

stream tickets available.

1:06

Yeah, these shows go off the rails.

1:07

And what's our first live event with our new third

1:09

mic, Eric Freddie So I

1:12

have a surprise. We'll see if he's gonna do it,

1:14

but either way, it's gonna be fun and wild. And also

1:17

for you Luminary subscribers, if

1:19

you are in Washington, d C.

1:21

I'm also in Washington, d C right

1:23

now.

1:23

You missed the show yesterday maybe or maybe

1:25

you were there because you're amazing, but if

1:27

not, tonight I'm at the DC Comedy

1:29

Loft for two shows with Coyla

1:32

Branch and also tomorrow Saturday night, I'm there

1:34

for two shows with Coila Branch. Make sure to

1:36

get a ticket DC. You always come out in droves.

1:38

It's gonna be a really fun show with new material.

1:41

If you want to.

1:42

Email us sorry about last night's show

1:44

at gmail dot com, today's subject

1:46

line my boyfriend's neighbor.

1:48

Keeps trying to fuck him.

1:50

Oh boy, Hey ladies, I wrote

1:52

in over the summer for the first time after listening for

1:54

six years about how to end how

1:56

to get the guy I was fucking to stop squatting in

1:58

my house?

1:59

Oh I remember?

2:00

Yeah, I remember that email too.

2:01

I followed the advice, of course, and

2:03

told him he needed to get his shit together and get out.

2:05

He did and immediately found an apartment, a job,

2:08

and went back to college.

2:09

But there's a new book.

2:11

Yeah, there always is. It's like he was

2:13

capable of it the entire time.

2:15

Yeah.

2:15

But the thing is, I say, sometimes if you don't set the boundary

2:17

of making the person leave, if he's if he's

2:20

getting a free place to say, why would

2:22

he go unless he who in their

2:24

right mind would just be like I guess I'm gonna get rid of this

2:26

easy situation.

2:27

I mean someone with dignity, but other than that, not

2:29

sure.

2:31

Who has dignity.

2:33

Let's spread it onto the new issue.

2:36

I started seeing my now boyfriend in August, shortly

2:38

after I kicked squatter out.

2:40

This is the first relationship. Oh that's great.

2:42

You kick the squatter out, you make room for another guy, and

2:44

then everybody wants to fuck theme.

2:45

So that's why you're writing this again. Shortly after I kicked

2:47

squatter out.

2:47

This is the first relationship I've been in

2:50

in four and a half years. We took things slow

2:52

and dated for three months, then called it official

2:54

in October.

2:55

Everything has been amazing.

2:56

He's sweet, kind and funny and loves

2:59

me so loudly and that I've never experienced.

3:01

Oh, it's beautiful.

3:02

He's always cooking me incredible meals and offering

3:04

to take care of me my dog. He's

3:07

a lot of work, he plans uscute

3:09

dates and is the most caring, thoughtful man I've

3:11

ever met. Not to mention, he's got

3:13

a job yay, owns a house woohoo,

3:16

has two dogs, and takes care of himself.

3:19

He's an independent person, but also has a

3:21

solid group of friends for a twenty eight year

3:23

old man. He's taken me to events

3:25

with his friends a few times, and they've all been welcoming.

3:27

He has quite a few girlfriends, which

3:30

I wasn't worried about. I have some close guy friends

3:32

and he doesn't mind. But his neighbor has

3:34

become a big problem. He's

3:37

lived next to I'm

3:39

gonna say her real name just in case she's listening and can get

3:41

the message lout and clear.

3:42

I'm not he's living. He's lived.

3:44

Yeah, come on, he's lived next to Lisa.

3:47

Ridiculous. I'm not doing your dirty

3:49

business for you.

3:50

Well, he's lived next to Lisa

3:52

for about three year years now.

3:54

I think she's between twenty eight and

3:56

thirty two.

3:57

I asked my boyfriend and he said he didn't

4:00

actually know and didn't

4:02

know what she does for work. Okay,

4:04

they've been friends since he bought this house.

4:07

They'll go see movies occasionally, or grab lunch,

4:09

maybe smoke wheed on their patios, overall

4:12

casual. We were eating dinner

4:14

a couple months in and he was telling me something

4:16

about her and I said, I'd love to meet her. She

4:18

sounds cool, and his response was, I'm not

4:20

sure she's ready to meet you. He

4:23

then told me how when she met

4:25

the girl he was dating over a year ago. Wait,

4:28

he then told me about how when she met

4:30

the girl he was dating over a year ago.

4:33

Met her and that, yeah, I think this person be

4:36

here.

4:36

Okay, Lisa got incredibly

4:38

jealous and stopped talking to him because she

4:41

needed to reevaluate their relationship.

4:43

Yeah, she's playing them. Lisa's playing the man

4:45

in this situation.

4:47

I asked him if they had previously hooked

4:49

up or if he had liked her. He insisted

4:52

they hadn't, and honestly, I believe him. He's

4:54

given me no reason to not trust his word. I

4:56

explained that if he's still uncomfortable meeting

4:58

his if she's still comfortable meeting his new

5:00

girlfriend after the first jealousy

5:02

issue, then she still really likes him, and

5:04

that's not a very good friend if her intentions

5:07

of their friendship are different than his. He

5:10

said he was very clear with her in previous

5:12

jealousy situations that he was not into

5:14

her like that and he only wanted to be friends.

5:17

Why I need a new friend, though, I said it was fine

5:19

that they stay friends. I mean, yeah, he could do whatever

5:22

he wants, he's his own person and hang out, but he needed

5:24

to be explicitly clear again with her about only

5:26

being friends. I mean, I think that is explicitly

5:29

clear. He was explicitly clear. He

5:31

was super receptive and agreed

5:34

he'd clarify with her. He hasn't mentioned

5:36

hanging out with her since that conversation. About

5:38

three weeks ago, I was watching his dogs

5:40

for the weekend at his house, yes, and

5:43

when I was walking out, she was walking up

5:45

to her house. She made eye contact

5:47

and immediately looked down. I introduced

5:49

myself because it felt weirder to not say anything,

5:52

and she said okay, then walked

5:54

inside.

5:54

Oh a little weird that she's immature

5:56

as though. Yeah, but it's.

5:57

Also weird that, like it's

6:00

it's so obvious that, like you were talking about yeahs,

6:03

you just said, no, what she looks like and went up to her.

6:05

Yeah. I told my boyfriend this and

6:08

he said she was just shy. Okay,

6:10

maybe she is. She is shy.

6:11

Then last week I was waiting outside for him

6:14

and she walked out of her house. I waved

6:16

at her. You don't got wave and

6:18

she looked up and she looked me up and down.

6:20

Also, and also, you don't put this in,

6:22

but based on the letter, you waved

6:24

contally, and you know you did.

6:26

I know you did.

6:27

You waved like a cunt. Yeah,

6:30

come on, I know. Stop playing like you're only

6:32

giving us the one side of the story. You waved

6:34

like a cunt. You

6:36

didn't go, yeah,

6:38

you're pretending you're extending

6:40

an olive branch. Was actually

6:42

pissing on your boyfriend, And that's fine,

6:45

but please tell me what you're actually doing. Then,

6:48

when he walked out, he also he also

6:50

waved at her, and she completely ignored him. He

6:52

just shrugged it off. Last night, he left his phone.

6:55

Oh no girl. Last night he left his phone

6:57

open on the counter, and I saw that he

6:59

was tech with her and she had sent

7:01

him a really long message. I

7:03

didn't read any of it, but the length of the

7:06

message threw me off.

7:07

You throw me off too.

7:08

I don't know if I should bring the topic

7:10

back up or not, but this girl

7:12

clearly has shown some weird obsession with him. She

7:15

invited him to her family Christmas party,

7:17

which he declined, going, it's not a weird obsession.

7:19

She has a crush on him, that's not an obsession. We've all

7:21

had a crush on someone like and we've

7:23

all ignored that person's girlfriend for a second

7:25

to continue the crush that we have. There, you go, so

7:28

that happens. She brings some baked goods

7:30

pretty consistently. They aren't good.

7:33

You're being such a bet. I know. She

7:36

even made him a little basket of stuff for Christmas.

7:39

God, who's you me?

7:40

I trust my boyfriend and that he's not doing

7:42

anything he shouldn't, but I feel so uncomfortable

7:44

with this girl, and I don't know what to do. Look,

7:48

every woman knows, like

7:50

every woman walking in the world, boyfriend, husband

7:52

or single, has had guys

7:55

act like this to them.

7:56

And like it's innocent.

7:57

It's just a crush and she's not giving it up

8:00

because she just wants to entertain it, and he's

8:02

not doing anything about it.

8:03

Like this is he's acting like the woman in this

8:05

Yeah.

8:05

Like I feel like also part of this tactic

8:07

is like she's seeing if she can break you and

8:09

she's it's working.

8:11

Yeah, she's she can.

8:12

What's gonna happen is you're you're gonna start

8:14

annoying your boyfriend with your insecurities

8:16

creating, and then she's she's there to She's.

8:19

There to catch him Wheney falls.

8:20

Oh, with those baskets actually a

8:22

genius plan. Maybe she'll start making her bake

8:24

goods taste delicious once that you're at you're taking

8:26

the bait.

8:27

Yeah.

8:28

Uh. We communicate very well in our relationship, but I

8:30

feel like she continues to overstep. Any

8:32

advice would be appreciated, so I don't seem like a crazy

8:34

girlfriend if I bring it up again. Don't bring it up

8:36

again. Here's some quick pictures of him

8:38

and me and of our dogs. Of course, quick

8:40

follow up because I finally found her on Instagram

8:43

and wanted to send pictures of her.

8:45

You want to talk about an obsession, you're obsessed

8:47

with her.

8:47

You are, okay,

8:49

I guess that's you. That's oh my god.

8:52

Your boyfriend looks like the

8:54

lead singer of Incubis. I mean it's like I

8:56

can't really tell. He's super cute. Those

8:59

dogs are great. And then this is Lisa,

9:02

Oh Lisa. I think Lisa just has resting bitch

9:04

face. You can't falter for that. It

9:07

does seem like it seems like that on her Instagram.

9:09

So like, I think she's

9:12

awkward. She could be awkward, she could be shy.

9:15

She has a crush on your boyfriend.

9:16

Girl, you got good taste, okay, but

9:18

you know, like you don't have to

9:20

be the territorial

9:23

aspect that you're demonstrating here. Yeah,

9:26

when you said that you saw a very

9:29

long text message from her to him, Yeah,

9:31

that would have piqaud my curiosity. I wouldn't have read it either,

9:33

but I would have been like, what's up? But

9:36

that's about it, Like that's the only thing in here that

9:38

I would like hook onto. I

9:40

don't know, I don't know what I'll do. Don't

9:42

trust your boyfriend. You have to trust your

9:44

boyfriend and just move on. Like, yes,

9:46

this girl obviously has a crush on him and The

9:48

thing is, it's like, I kind of feel bad

9:51

for this girl because there's something

9:53

about your boyfriend that, like, I do trust

9:56

that he's not cheating on you and is not thinking

9:58

of it. But when you

10:00

exactly when you know someone has a crush on

10:02

them, like to keep hanging

10:04

out with the person is a little cruel

10:06

when you have zero intention of dating them.

10:09

Like it is nice.

10:10

It just almost seems like your boyfriend needs like a

10:12

little bit extra of a confidence

10:14

boost and he's using this girl for that. There's

10:17

absolutely no reason knowing

10:19

someone has a big crush on you to

10:21

go out to brunch with them one on one, to go to movies

10:23

one on one.

10:24

To go on these faux dates.

10:25

Like honestly, as is every

10:28

fucking situation that gets written into this show,

10:31

it's women are fighting women when really

10:33

the onus should be on the man. That's the template

10:35

for I don't know, eighty five percent of the emails

10:37

that we get on this for show, yeh heterosexually, especially

10:40

if the neighbor was like weird to his previous

10:42

Girlfriends's that's where you go,

10:45

Okay, you like this, sir, And

10:47

look what no one hates when somebody

10:49

has a crush on them.

10:50

We all love it. It's great.

10:51

But like there's morals

10:53

that have to be to have to

10:55

be put into play. He needs to set the boundary,

10:58

he needs to say it's obvious that I've

11:00

said that we don't, I don't want to be more than friends. It's obvious

11:02

that you still feel this way about me, and that's cool. Yeah,

11:04

I just don't. It's I feel like I'm just leading

11:07

you on with our one and one friendship. It's like, I'm happy

11:09

to hang out with you in a group setting, but like the one

11:11

on one is appropriate, inappropriate on

11:13

his end, Yeah, as always, he's on

11:15

a relationship.

11:16

She's not doing anything wrong.

11:17

Is it tacky that she's going for your

11:19

boyfriend? Yes, it's tacky, one hundred percent.

11:21

It's tacky, but it's fair.

11:23

She definitely can play the game if she wants.

11:26

She absolutely can, and she'd I'm sure she definitely

11:28

has this iways here first mentality

11:30

about it. Yeah, because she knew him before

11:32

the first girlfriend, before before you

11:34

writer, and then she you know, so

11:37

maybe she There's some territories, but it's all

11:39

it's all you ego, it's all you go, guys, check

11:42

your you to go out the door.

11:42

But yeah, he should stop fucking in out with her.

11:51

After you come see us at the Master Crimon

11:53

Night Theater Thursday, March seventh in New York City.

11:56

Go listen to my stand up comedy album Good Girl Barbara,

11:59

available on Spotify and Apple

12:01

Music.

12:01

And I have a Patreon where once a week I do a.

12:03

Group Zoom Sherapee

12:06

for an hour and we talk about whatever ours

12:08

on our minds, and their conversations get very

12:10

deep, very quickly, and I really enjoy

12:13

them. So you could sign up for that at patreon

12:15

dot com slash Christina Hutchinson. I'm also

12:17

implementing a five dollars a month level. You could

12:19

just listen in on the zooms and listen

12:22

in to me doing bonus content for the voices

12:25

in our heads for this new book by

12:27

RJ. Spina called Supercharged Self

12:29

Healing. And if you're in Springfield,

12:31

Missouri, come see me headlining

12:33

the Blue Room at March twenty second

12:35

and twenty third.

12:36

I'm going to be in you Springfield.

12:38

Let's go someone who

12:41

is a member of your group sherap He came into Perfectly

12:43

Centered this weekend and he said he really enjoys

12:45

that.

12:45

Oh, that's so nice.

12:46

And then he brought wait was it Seamus, Yes,

12:48

it was, Yeah, I love him.

12:50

And then he bought the Lord of the

12:52

Rings trilogy.

12:53

Nice.

12:53

Oh that's cool y.

12:56

So anyway, final month at

12:58

Perfectly Centered Source. So many uh

13:00

wackos and buckers came in this weekend because

13:03

I'm going to be in the store a lot, but always just if you're.

13:05

Interested, if you're interested in basically.

13:07

Coming in and buying stuff, some stuff and

13:09

then buying yourself a private

13:11

meet and greet with me, which is what it is.

13:14

And I know that you're using it as that, and I don't care.

13:16

Just buy ship from the store and I'll literally I

13:18

was signing baseballs this weekend.

13:20

I'm signing receipt whatever, do

13:24

whatever.

13:24

That's really cool. So I got to stop

13:26

by. Actually are you there this week that's awesow

13:28

because I'm into DC. This store is closed this

13:31

weekend. But yeah, but other than that,

13:33

yeah, come in and

13:35

buy some stuff and I will sign whatever

13:38

you want.

13:38

For you, but you got to buy some stuff.

13:40

Don't come into in and disrespect me like

13:42

like that husband from a couple of comes

13:45

before you have to buy stuff, because

13:47

literally, like this is like a different business, and

13:49

like I'm really I just I can't

13:51

move all the stuff into a storage

13:53

unit. I need to physically get rid of some of

13:56

this stuff so perfectly centered store.

13:58

Yeah, we're gonna be closed this weekend because me

14:00

and John are both on the road. But after that where

14:02

we're open Wednesdays through Saturdays,

14:05

twelve noon to five pm. And

14:08

you'll have you know the March

14:10

sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, March

14:12

thirteenth, fourteen, fifteen, sixty sixteenth. I'm

14:15

not there every day, but I always post on Instagram

14:17

when I am there.

14:18

Uh so just check it.

14:20

If you see my video and you live close enough

14:22

to Westchester, take a ride

14:25

there. Buy out of your Pokemon

14:27

card nineteen eighty nine, Palmer Avenue,

14:29

Larchmont, New York. And

14:32

of course listen to Without a Country podcast. Uh

14:35

some really interesting. I mean Donald Trump's making sneakers

14:37

now, I.

14:38

Mean it's

14:39

he's also killing in the primaries.

14:42

He's killing me. I mean, like I really

14:45

feel like he's gonna be president. I know it

14:47

does seem like yeah to me, there's

14:49

almost no doubt.

14:50

Yeah, I do real dumb, but his dumbness,

14:53

like he says things and then all those shows play clips.

14:55

Of him, like he's kind of funny. Oh

14:57

no, he is funny. I've been beaten down enough

15:00

to go dah, the guy's funny.

15:01

Well, because when everything, when everything in the world

15:03

is in such shambles, you're like, it's kind of hilarious.

15:06

This guy has such a good chance of being president.

15:08

Yes, yeah, and is in just in court

15:10

cases for him. It was just like, this

15:12

is the movie that like

15:15

like fucking greta girl, Judd appetete

15:17

like a Christopher Guest movie. The world

15:19

feels like a Christopher Guest movie, World's Most Unlikely

15:22

President.

15:22

Oh my god, that's write

15:24

in a dog like

15:27

the coy. Yeah, yeah, in a backpack.

15:29

Yeah, oh my god, I love Corgi's

15:31

the very royal and regal.

15:35

You did you want to?

15:36

Oh no, if you have something to say, I learned

15:38

this recently. Fifty

15:41

years ago. Fifty years ago, women

15:43

weren't allowed to legally sign their own

15:45

mortgages.

15:46

Oh yeah, I did not know that.

15:48

That is mad, not that long ago.

15:50

Yeah, I'm surprised why.

15:52

I think I thought that it would have been.

15:53

It was in the seventies, yeah, seventy four,

15:56

seventy four.

15:56

Yeah, we're just getting old.

15:57

And then and now because I was reading this

16:00

article about.

16:00

Yeah, your dad or your husband had to sign off on it, right, that's

16:03

yeah, that's crazy.

16:05

Well, even like when I had when I was my property,

16:09

I remember, you know, I think I talked about on the show,

16:11

like you have to like check off that you're single, which really

16:13

should have no relationship to you

16:15

buy your property. But

16:18

yeah, and me and the female

16:20

lawyer we had a little chuckle over it together. Yeah,

16:22

I didn't know it was that. I didn't know it was

16:24

like that. That's crazy. And then today I was reading

16:26

an article about how eleven million women single

16:29

women own homes nationwide, and a home

16:32

ownership with single women versus

16:34

single men in the United States is way higher with women.

16:36

Yeah.

16:37

Historically, as soon as women get get rights, we

16:39

absolutely fucking annihilate them in the

16:41

most positive ways. We just like we

16:43

have so much political power as

16:45

soon as we were giving it, like I mean just across

16:48

the board, when we get an opportunity,

16:50

we really seizes it.

16:52

Yeah, yeah, he sees the day. Yeah.

16:54

I also wanted to share a website

16:57

called Let's talk about It dot com.

16:59

Let's elat talk about it dot

17:01

com.

17:02

That website has a lot of

17:04

resources for domestic abuse,

17:06

so we get a lot of questions about

17:09

domestic abuse safety plans,

17:11

all these things.

17:12

These things need to be done very delicately.

17:15

A lot of times, you know, if you're with somebody

17:17

and their partner who you're pretty sure hits

17:19

the woman, and they're like, just he hit you and she says

17:21

no, that's because if she

17:24

said yes, she would get the shit kicked out

17:26

of her later that night. So it's like, there's certain there's

17:28

certain facets of a domestic abusive

17:32

relations physically abusive relationship and emotionally abusive

17:34

relationship that you have to

17:36

kind of handle very carefully. And this is I just wanted to give

17:38

this website out again. It's let's talk about

17:40

it dot com. Yeah, because a lot of

17:42

you guys write in and as like as the best friend

17:45

and you're like, I gave him a piece of my mind and

17:47

he's like, that's not bad. You're gonna get

17:49

He's gonna give your friend a piece of his friend and then

17:51

your your friend's also gonna get killed.

17:53

Yeah.

17:53

So I love the uh the boss

17:55

bitch attitude, but in domestic violence,

17:57

it's not the correct approach unless you

17:59

are like a professional shot putter or

18:01

something.

18:02

Okay, unless yeah, exactly.

18:04

Like, yes, exactly, that's

18:07

not a good approach, so

18:10

stop doing that. On a more positive

18:12

note, for my little anecdote for the

18:14

week is I just this has been happening a

18:16

lot with my straight,

18:18

uh male friends, the you

18:20

know, platonic friends. I know, we say that they can't be,

18:22

but I do have a good deal of platonic male friends,

18:25

and they there's

18:27

been this theme lately of at the end of the night, them

18:30

hugging me and telling me, telling me that they

18:32

love me.

18:33

This has been a new theme from people that like,

18:35

from people that that I would

18:38

not expect it from.

18:39

Like I'm not even gonna name names because I feel like I'm gonna

18:41

out their vulnerability and they're gonna get weird about it.

18:43

But like I was, it happened with two

18:45

people that I was really really

18:47

really astounded that they

18:49

said that to me, that they initiated that I love you, and

18:52

I felt like they really meant it and I

18:54

was and they weren't even that drunk. And

18:57

I mean, I was just so proud

18:59

of my young these young men

19:01

growing up.

19:02

They're older than all of them.

19:04

But yeah, I was like, Wow, look

19:06

at this vulnerable gents they

19:08

are, you know, changing things are really

19:11

happening.

19:12

Yeah. Never even kiss either of them.

19:14

Wow, nothing, nothing

19:16

mildly inappropriate ever happened between

19:19

either of us.

19:20

Wow.

19:21

Yeah, I was really so so

19:23

proud of them. Guys, you know it is

19:25

possible. It can't happen, it is

19:28

possible. So Michael, this

19:30

is your last episode official times,

19:35

it really is.

19:37

Thank you for your service. Thank you so much, Mike.

19:39

I wanted to give you the floor in case there's anything

19:41

you want to promote one last time, say

19:44

remarks you needed to get it?

19:47

Do you need it? I don't know what you feel to

19:49

open anything available?

19:51

Yeah, you need advice on something, or you want to

19:53

throw something out there you want to promote.

19:55

It's like back studit whatever.

19:56

I would like to promote Slickback Studios.

19:59

So thank you for much.

20:00

Christina. Your show is obviously on the network.

20:02

Yes, discovered

20:04

a ghost the last.

20:05

Year we did that was fun.

20:07

Yeah.

20:08

And now the crazy thing about now that

20:10

we're collaborating on these quips through like

20:12

slick Back Studios and you I get to see

20:14

the people that are leaving comments on your videos.

20:17

The quite strange.

20:19

I don't know what it is.

20:20

All of a sudden, the bullying on Instagram is getting

20:22

rapped up well, and I'm like.

20:24

It's called you're aging.

20:26

Oh is that what it is?

20:27

Yeah, welcome to my world, Welcome to the

20:29

other side of thirty five touch. I

20:31

mean it's after the beast like a couple of like years,

20:33

so I would say, but that's find weird.

20:35

But it's so like childish and it's like,

20:38

I, yes, I have a temper and it's easy to get

20:40

like get me hooked and be like fuck you. But they're

20:42

just they're not even like interesting

20:45

comments. They're just they're just so dumb that I'm

20:47

like, are you okay?

20:48

Well no, they're not okay. It

20:51

makes me laugh. They're very not okay.

20:53

You also have the comments that come in from guys

20:55

with like Mickey Mouse as their icon

20:58

on Instagram that are like great feet or

21:00

like you know, sexy great you

21:03

know. So that's been fun.

21:06

But yes, Slick Back Studios, we have a lot of great shows,

21:08

including my personal podcast.

21:11

A couple of listeners had reached out about kind

21:13

of keeping up with me. Mike Coscarella Rules

21:15

is my show, Like.

21:16

How he had to get that in here?

21:17

But you guys gave me the floor to promote. Please

21:21

subscribe and rate and review and

21:23

everything. That's where you can keep up with me. We'll

21:26

be doing weekly shows there. But

21:28

my my parting thoughts. I did

21:31

actually have some some thoughts

21:33

that I that came to mind knowing

21:35

that this would be the last time I recorded. I

21:37

obviously we've kind

21:39

of done this before, but officially I want to thank you

21:42

guys for bringing me along for

21:44

this ride. It's really been awesome.

21:46

Forward any of the better help invoices

21:49

to us.

21:50

I feel like we've you know, helped but also

21:53

hurt relationships.

21:54

It's been it's listen, it's it's Uh. I

21:56

think that it's it's helped more

21:58

than it's it's hurt, because I.

22:00

Think that's a better help. Yeah.

22:04

I like to think that when I

22:06

have personal interactions

22:09

with women and everything, I have the two of you guys kind

22:11

of on my shoulders and on my in my head,

22:13

and it helps me to make what

22:15

I think is usually unless.

22:25

But I appreciate that, Uh, you

22:27

guys have put me in a position, I think, to live

22:29

a better life as a as a man because

22:31

I can go through life listening

22:34

to women the way that I think that they want to be listened

22:36

to, and I hope that I am actually

22:38

practicing what I preached there. But

22:41

so beyond the professional podcasting

22:44

like experience that I've I've gotten

22:47

to have with you guys, you

22:49

really have that was very appreciate

22:53

you and to the listeners. I just appreciate

22:55

you guys accepting me and and

22:58

seriously for two years.

22:59

And he did. He accepted more than us.

23:02

You know, I have many critiques on Mikey, but you

23:04

got had a lot of stuff to say about me.

23:06

I had a conversation with with an

23:08

X over the summer, uh, and

23:12

I found out that listeners

23:14

were like, though I don't condone this because

23:16

I think it's kind of like bad, I appreciate

23:19

it. Listeners were like getting in her

23:21

d MS and being like, oh my god,

23:23

Like I can't believe you would break somebody

23:26

as nice as Mike's heart.

23:28

It kind of feels good.

23:29

It kind of feels good.

23:30

So better than trying to fuck her.

23:32

Huh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:34

Wow, You've gotten a much better experiences from our

23:36

show than we have.

23:37

Yeah. I just I just feel like the listener has really

23:39

embraced me, and that mental has

23:42

meant a lot the entire time, and and

23:44

you know, to to come into a you

23:47

know, a show that's been going on for so long

23:49

with two people that are so beloved, to to feel

23:51

that warmth from the fans is awesome

23:53

and pretty great. Yeah, I've appreciated

23:56

every single one of you guys that anybody that's reached

23:58

out and said a nice thing and about

24:00

me moving on or even when I was on the show. It

24:02

means a lot. And it's gonna be weird.

24:05

It's a big change to not be with you guys in

24:07

this capacity anymore. But you know,

24:09

I appreciate thank.

24:10

For second mic on my podcast because I'm

24:12

like, this would be yeah, it's very sad.

24:14

It would be sad to walk away from completely. But

24:16

yeah, that's what this is all like a big satellite.

24:19

Like I'm in the guys, we fucked world

24:21

those forever, and you know, I'm

24:23

happy about that. That means a lot to me. And and

24:26

you know, I'm moving on with such a good feeling and

24:28

and I'm glad for the I'm happy

24:31

for the next stage of our relationships

24:33

too. And I just you

24:35

know, you.

24:39

Know, like I feel like now they're every

24:41

now and again on Instagram.

24:45

But Now, I just feel like there's a different level because

24:47

it's you know, when you when you're in a job for

24:49

so long. I've always said this about to

24:52

other people in media and stuff.

24:54

When I was in radio, I think I picked this up. I

24:56

started at the radio station as an intern,

24:59

and I knew it's some point that I was going to have to move

25:01

on to do something else because the people

25:03

that had been in that building for so long and

25:06

knew me when I came in as an intern,

25:08

We're kind of always going to see me in

25:10

some way as that kid,

25:12

yeah, as a twenty year old, until you move on

25:15

and you go away, and then you come back, and then

25:17

you're a little more on the the you're

25:19

viewed a little more as a peer. And

25:21

not that I've never felt that you guys don't treat

25:23

me that way, but I think moving into

25:26

a different part of my career

25:28

it changes the relationship

25:30

in a way that I feel like it's it's like the

25:33

advice that I feel like I can get from you guys

25:36

comes from a bit of a different place because

25:38

now we're on paths

25:40

that are a little more parallel.

25:43

Entrepreneursah, right, Yeah.

25:45

So obviously I'm following in your footsteps

25:47

in a lot of ways, and obviously,

25:49

like I've already come to you guys on for

25:52

advice on some things. But I'm sure the next couple

25:54

of years will absolutely.

25:55

Yeah maybe, I'm sure it'll come normal again sometime.

25:58

Yeah, you will. We'll

26:00

see about that one day.

26:02

But that's it. That's my party notes. It's all warmth

26:04

on my end, and I'm.

26:05

Just And you have a great roster, by the way,

26:07

Congrats hats off to you forster

26:10

earning that roster, because

26:13

the comics that have podcasts on your network

26:15

are heavy hitting killers

26:18

truly.

26:19

And a Riceman who's been on the show likes

26:21

Burns Andrea and yeah,

26:25

it's a lot of really good talent and hopefully

26:27

that you know, we we continue to do more stuff.

26:29

And we female because

26:32

Mike creates a safe space in his slip back

26:34

studio.

26:36

I was talking to Freks who has also been on the show,

26:38

and was was like, we were talking last

26:40

week and she was like she she was like ribbing

26:43

me about the like the diversity, and then

26:45

she like thought about it for a second. She's like, actually, it's all

26:47

women. I was like, it is, yeah,

26:49

because I don't really know like you know, you

26:52

know, no shade, it's something like a gas digital

26:54

or whatever. But it's just not an environment

26:56

that I feel like. I yeah, feel

26:58

super comfortable.

27:00

Feels comfortable environment create

27:02

especially when I locked the door.

27:04

Actually when I'm record next to get in

27:07

but see you through the glass. You can't get in through the door.

27:11

Well, thank you so much, Michael. We're so excited

27:13

to see where slick Back Studios

27:15

goes and follow it on Instagram.

27:17

Right is it?

27:19

It's slip Back Studios,

27:21

Underscore Studios.

27:22

That's weird.

27:23

I just I look down and there's a fucking ghost meter next

27:25

they

27:29

Yeah, I brought it to I brought it to Mike Studio.

27:31

There's a ghost in the table in a cement

27:33

table and the Princess Diana Princess

27:36

nuts.

27:37

Wow, And I was like, what the fuck is that?

27:39

There? We go? What is that?

27:41

There?

27:41

We love you, Michael, thank you for We love you. Know

27:46

what else? We love Today's guest. Yes,

27:49

he's a stand up comedian.

27:50

Uh.

27:50

You've seen him as a talking head on so many

27:53

hit television shows. He's the co host of I Never

27:55

Liked You podcast and the Advice

27:57

Special Part two is now available on

27:59

his YouTube Channel.

28:00

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show.

28:03

It'say Elaine.

28:57

Is it wrong say

29:00

everyone.

29:04

Has got me?

29:09

Say a vopeless case.

29:13

A day to day?

29:16

That's still strictly of

29:19

course.

29:23

S We

30:04

are here with stand up comedian The Tale

30:07

Lane. So happy to have you back.

30:09

I have botox?

30:11

What how could you admit that out loud

30:13

in front of everyone?

30:14

I want to start off, they get

30:16

it off my chest. I've been

30:18

holding this in. It was not discussed beforehand.

30:22

Bowtox.

30:23

Well, I like because you just you mentioned it casually,

30:25

and I feel like what people are so weird about

30:27

talking about enhancements, and especially

30:30

men, we do see it. It's the one medical

30:33

procedure that we see going wrong more

30:35

often in men than women.

30:37

Well, because there's just less research. It's the only form.

30:40

Yeah, but correlative viill.

30:42

Well, Oh is that how you get that? I thought that botox

30:44

relaxed.

30:45

That you could put them out here and then your eyebrows raise

30:48

up or you can put it down.

30:50

Johnny Resnick from Google Dolls, I actually

30:52

cry about used

30:55

to I

30:59

want to oh hot, I mean like

31:01

young Johnny Resnick looks like Matt Rife

31:04

and know yeah he does he looks

31:06

like but.

31:06

It's not just like people. I

31:09

almost wonder if like enhancements are

31:11

I love never used that word, but you said it, so now

31:14

I'm saying it because I don't know if that's the way we're

31:16

supposed to say it.

31:17

No, but just surgery.

31:19

I feel like if you go too long without like,

31:21

look, some people don't get it and some people do. But

31:23

if you go too long without having anything

31:25

done, and then one day you're like, give it to me all,

31:28

then it's like you gotta.

31:29

Get a forehead in yeah. Yeah, yeah.

31:31

But Madonna, something happened and she

31:34

looks very good as of late.

31:35

You can undo it because, like to me, more we saw she

31:37

went really unbelievable.

31:39

There was oh, she did the stuff.

31:41

She made one appearance when she got the you know, the buckle

31:43

fat kind of removed too intensely,

31:46

and then she went back to something else.

31:48

And now it looks great. I love the buckle. I never

31:50

heard of that until because its.

31:51

A lot of this stuff dissolves within your face, so you

31:53

know, you can look like trash for three months, but then you can

31:55

fix it.

31:57

Yeah, but I do. And I saw something online. I follow

31:59

this like plastic Surge online.

32:00

He has no hair.

32:01

I forget his name, but he's great. He has alopecia,

32:04

so like specific

32:08

I thought it.

32:09

Was his stance against the things that he's doing.

32:11

He's like, you don't need to.

32:13

He has okay, but correct but

32:15

he uh, he'll look at like other

32:17

people's youtubes. And this one girl a lot of women

32:19

are talking about, like it's always the most gorgeous

32:22

woman, size zero, perfect

32:24

skain who's like, we have to stop doing

32:26

this to ourselves.

32:27

I was like, you're twenty, yeah, but ye

32:31

shut the fuck up.

32:33

I think I think people get plastic surgery

32:35

and bow ta. I think it's just like, whatever makes you

32:37

comfortable. We have one fucking life, and is

32:39

some YouTube girl who's gorgeous

32:42

going to tell you not to make your Now that there

32:44

are people who get there like way too big of cheeks

32:46

or jaws and stuff, and that's always fun

32:48

for the rest of us.

32:49

Yes, it is very fun for the rest of us. Yeah.

32:52

Also too, it's strategic, especially if

32:54

you're the entertainment industry. You want to leg up get

32:56

it if you can afford it good. Yeah, also, and make

32:58

it feel good. I just you know, I

33:00

just want a little.

33:01

Bit yeah, I want to done

33:03

that.

33:04

Lips are tricky. They do a thing where they can

33:06

cut the skin here and just actually physically.

33:09

It doesn't like because I don't

33:11

like the protruding because that distracts me. If I'm

33:13

talking to you and I'm like no, yeah,

33:16

yeah, yeah, it looks good in photos and videos,

33:18

but in person, no, dice.

33:20

Classic surgeon looks good in photos and videos and then in

33:22

real are like, what's happening?

33:24

Yeah, I don't want that. I don't want that kind. Have you

33:26

ever gotten anything where they actually had to cut

33:28

your face? Oh?

33:29

My hair surgery? Yeah,

33:32

that was intense. I mean that's a ten hours is

33:34

really painful.

33:35

They numb you right.

33:37

Well, okay, so I think some people have.

33:39

Okay, set the record

33:41

stream.

33:44

I get bowtops now. I

33:47

got my hair transplants here in New York, and

33:50

I think depending on where what clinic you go to,

33:52

they all do it a little differently. But mine, I

33:54

don't remember any of the surgery. I've gotten

33:56

it done twice now and I don't remember either. Certainly you

33:59

out, you get Ambi and valume. Oh wow,

34:01

so I don't remember them numbing me. I don't remember

34:04

being flipped over. I don't remember a thing.

34:06

Give you an ambient m Wait,

34:09

what does that make you sleep?

34:10

For?

34:10

Like?

34:10

Oh yeah, yeah, I

34:13

literally I wake up and I'm like, good and

34:16

your hair, your hairline? Yeah,

34:19

well I got I got my first hair surgery because I was really

34:21

balding. I can send you the pictures if you want to post it.

34:23

And yeah, just before I

34:26

never I never knew you to have thinning hair.

34:28

I was doing a comb hair. I'll show you.

34:30

I hit the gap.

34:32

Yeah, I was basically

34:35

doing a don't lay.

34:36

On somebody's pillow after you put the power on, because

34:38

then you're gonna get.

34:38

All over the well, don't even get me started the amount

34:40

of pillows I've had to wash for myself. Yeah,

34:43

but yes I do. Okay, So this is

34:45

where my hairline was before any any

34:47

surgery at all. Oh

34:50

okay, it went all the.

34:51

Way back to little. Yeah, it was

34:53

a like a horseshoe.

34:54

It was kind of yeah rough, and that just was insecure

34:56

and I was always liked the hair here was

34:58

longer and I pull it forward and topics bray and hair

35:01

expression she lacket. Yes, I just want

35:03

to be so the first surgery they just kind of fix

35:05

that. Then you have a postop a

35:08

year later and I go, I know you're going to say no,

35:10

but I said, I just want a lower hairline and more hair

35:12

here, and he goes, we'll do it. I said, oh

35:14

great, I said, also give me a beard. Okay,

35:18

they added all this. I never had any

35:20

of this, and this takes four day to recover. Done.

35:22

How they have the beer, They take

35:25

hair in a lab and

35:27

then they use little gnomes no jockey. I

35:30

love them. They are the fullest beer try to acquire.

35:33

They take

35:35

it from here, they take it under here, and then

35:37

they put it here. But this hair falls out,

35:40

like right now, I my hairline that

35:42

they put in, which basically they gave me

35:44

the Dominican and

35:46

that all that hair falls out in

35:48

like a month and it grows back

35:50

before exactly what.

35:53

It comes back and so it's growing back naturally.

35:56

Yeah, yeah, like hair.

35:57

This is okay, So they okay,

36:01

give it.

36:01

They take the follic lots and when they were

36:03

uh like take the hair out, follicle

36:06

comes with it and they implant the follicle.

36:07

They have like a like a sewing machine.

36:10

Like a seed exactly.

36:13

Okay, So right now I'm spraying the topic.

36:15

Spray what my hairline will be. So if you get real

36:17

close, it's very drag queen esque happening. Right

36:19

now.

36:20

This is great look and then it's

36:22

transplanted, will never fall out.

36:25

That's also something I was told.

36:27

So you're you're you're just gonna just start aging.

36:29

But then the hair will just be forehead, but

36:31

the forehead will be sharp, I.

36:34

Said, because and this is one of my jokes,

36:36

but it is a true story. My doctor

36:38

asked me, is like, do you have any bading in your family? And I said

36:40

no, he goes no. One said,

36:42

knowing, what about your mom's dad, And I said, my mom's

36:45

dad is a Mexican with a one inch forehead.

36:47

Oh wow, so much hair.

36:50

His hairline starts here. I

36:54

don't know why no one else in my family's bald,

36:56

but I was losing my hair rapidly.

36:58

Maybe it's stressed, stress, living

37:00

in the city, just all the all of it.

37:02

All of it. But I've always I never had a great hairline.

37:04

And my brother, my brother has the Mexican hair,

37:07

like the thick, black, straight Mexican hair.

37:09

I just don't have it.

37:10

So anyways, now in April you'll

37:12

see, but I give.

37:15

Botox beautiful do we know, like

37:17

the botox, like there's negative side

37:19

effects that we know of yet. No, But I think it's

37:21

been around for long enough

37:24

now that we would know, right,

37:26

Yeah, that's what I thought.

37:27

I feel like it's been around. My mom's been getting it

37:29

for a while.

37:30

She used to get it in her neck for

37:33

for medical reason.

37:34

Yeah, I've had my traps because they're so tight.

37:36

Yeah, you too much, your head will.

37:40

Fall over all

37:42

right, Well, but I love it. You look great. Thanks

37:45

guys. You're very handsome, you're very multi talented.

37:47

Oh, thank you. Wow, I should come back any more

37:49

often.

37:50

Do you feel like there's a stigma for men

37:52

or in the gay community that like that

37:54

exists with plastic surgery,

37:56

because there definitely is.

37:57

For the women.

37:58

I honestly think it's any community. I mean, I

38:00

also think that we're not realizing, but straight men

38:02

are doing a lot. They may not call

38:04

it the same thing, but they're doing a lot. Also implants,

38:08

Yeah, that episode of

38:10

True Life and MTV, you'll live

38:12

with me forever.

38:13

I'll never forget him. I'll

38:15

never forget him. The cats

38:17

weren't even that much better afterwards.

38:20

A gnarly surgery for not for

38:22

something that we're not looking at.

38:24

And also to like the I think

38:26

the end. I remember even being like thirteen and gay

38:29

watching. He was like dancing in a club with glitter

38:31

on his body. I was like, this is what you were

38:33

looking forward, Like you needed the caves for this.

38:35

Yeah.

38:35

Yeah, he was like, my life is complete.

38:38

I'm like, I think you gotta get we

38:40

gotta gotta circle back.

38:42

Yeah, get your friendships

38:44

under your belt and then tell me how you know what I

38:46

mean.

38:46

But I do think like all the men in Hollywood get plastic

38:48

surgery. They're on some sort of peptide,

38:51

or they're doing steroids the testosterone,

38:53

or they getting hair transplant. I bet you ninety

38:56

percent of the men we see in Hollywood

38:58

have hair transplants. So I don't think it's a woman's

39:01

game. I think that like everyone

39:03

wants to look better in every community.

39:05

It feels so good.

39:06

Yeah, and I think I mean, yeah, gays are probably

39:08

a little more open about it.

39:10

Yeah, that's try. I don't know why women hide it.

39:12

Well, there's something that feels like and also

39:14

with me, it feels like inherently like

39:17

feminine to care about your looks. But

39:19

one of my favorite Instagram accounts that I just started

39:21

following. Is a woman who applies

39:24

to pays to men and

39:26

they look so good and.

39:31

I didn't pick what can I.

39:35

Yeah, no, no no, And so she hasn't heard the word.

39:38

It's for people who can't, you know, I guess afford

39:40

the actual hair transplant. It looks

39:42

so good, so relaxing to go

39:45

from fours to nine nine.

39:47

They're hot.

39:49

A good hairline is enough to like cure.

39:52

Yes, my boyfriend. My boyfriend's hairline.

39:54

After we got back from Turkey, I was like, God,

39:56

damn, your face is hot before, but now

39:59

it's hot right. And the thing with the with the two

40:01

pays account is like it's all women

40:03

watching the content and be like celebrating

40:06

these guys for taking you know, for

40:08

caring about their appearance. But when you see the kind

40:10

of the women getting enhancements,

40:12

it's just guys going like they didn't need to change that,

40:15

this looks like shit, or women being like

40:17

why are they doing that?

40:18

It's it's so negative.

40:19

Well, I will say like when I because my special

40:22

hair plugs and Heartdake available on YouTube,

40:25

but I talk I do fifteen minutes on my hair

40:27

tran. I opened the show by saying I got hair transplants

40:29

right, And so many

40:32

men have reached out to me not only inquiring about

40:34

hair transplants, but like thanking me.

40:36

Yeah, like kind of like a mother.

40:38

Tresa, but like an insecurity like

40:40

that. It takes hearing somebody talk about it and not giving

40:42

a shit.

40:43

And I also think you said before when we talked

40:45

about it, I was like, oh, you got plugs, Like

40:47

it's not the eighties When I was a kid,

40:49

hair planned like plug like.

40:51

Ant legs sticking out of your So

40:54

I.

40:54

Don't know if a lot of straight men know that

40:56

it can look like that.

40:58

Yeah, you know.

40:58

Yeah.

40:59

When I was getting when

41:01

I got my hair done the second time,

41:03

I'd go, bet you can option out to like

41:06

wash your hair at home, or they can. You can go there every day and

41:08

they wash the hair for you for an extra charge. So I was like,

41:10

I'll just have them do it for me because they apply all this stuff. So

41:12

I'm like waiting for the woman

41:14

Mona to wash my hair. And

41:16

there was a wife sitting there and she was

41:18

like her husband was coming

41:21

out of surgeon. When he came out, like I

41:23

was telling him, like you gotta have him sleep up,

41:25

you gotta have him do this, you gotta do that, and

41:27

he came out. He was just so straight about he was like, are

41:30

you fucking hair not?

41:33

He's like, damn.

41:36

So straight men are proud of it. I do think like

41:38

with social media and like kind of

41:40

like everyone becoming a little more open, Like I

41:43

think that we'd be more shocked at how

41:46

how little shame there is talking

41:48

about getting work done.

41:49

People kind of use it as like a point of pride. That's

41:51

good.

41:52

Well. I also I've always felt for a long time, like with

41:54

I guess mainly with straight men, like I've always

41:57

wonder like, do.

41:57

You guys ever does straight men feel sexy?

42:00

Like when like you know women women

42:02

and get yeah you do, that's

42:07

right, you're a big.

42:09

What do you all like firing when you're like

42:11

when you're working out and eating right and like wells

42:14

well, like it's like a clean

42:16

shave or like when you're like really got it going,

42:18

like for an event, a wedding or something like that.

42:21

But women like well, like, as a woman, like I love

42:23

leaning into like feeling sexy like all the time.

42:25

It's so fun, and I'm like I want men

42:27

to feel that way too.

42:28

I think the expectations of men having to be

42:31

sexy and women being sexy sexy historically

42:33

are just very different there. So men probably

42:35

innately just culturally aren't raised

42:38

to think that they have to be presentable at

42:40

all times, where women often

42:43

do just historically speaking,

42:45

so like if a man dresses up for like a wedding,

42:47

everyone's like, oh my god, like

42:52

we all have like idiots.

42:53

Yeah, that's that expression, like you clean up nice.

42:56

It means like usually you look like ship.

42:58

But yeah, put like a super I hate when people so that's

43:01

yeah, yeah clean.

43:02

I mean I dress well, but on

43:04

the occasion that I will put on something that's

43:06

not a T shirt and jeans, people are like, you should

43:09

do this more often, too much.

43:10

But you're always wearing like the best T shirt and jeans.

43:13

It's very you got your well, you're

43:15

ripped your fucking like you got a face. The

43:17

face.

43:18

The face is well manicured.

43:20

Wear tired today Today it might

43:22

be tired, but tomorrow it's going to be fired

43:24

up. Well,

43:26

how feeling sexy? Like how

43:28

do you This is feels like such a question, but

43:31

like how do you feel sexy?

43:32

How do you ever give it a blow job? By putting an ice

43:34

cube on your tongue at.

43:35

Par don't

43:37

tell them, but how do you feel sexy

43:39

outside of you know, like a relationship

43:42

or outside of on stage?

43:44

Because I'm very secure.

43:47

Well, but you know what, that's awesome.

43:49

I will say gay

43:51

men have a lot in common with women

43:53

in comedy, not to the extent of

43:56

like can you wear a dress? Can you not? Are you're getting

43:58

followed home? Who's trying to fuck you? But

44:00

I'm just mean in terms of like the vulnerability,

44:03

like the kind of you know, because homophobia

44:05

really roots itself and misogyny. So

44:07

being gay at all these open mics, it's like you're

44:10

coming up against the same kind

44:12

of criticisms because people don't want

44:14

to hear it anyways. I'm not

44:16

trying to say I'm the same thing as a woman in comedy.

44:18

But no, no, I agree with what I say.

44:20

I will say, like I really grew up. I was

44:23

very skinny. Do you guys know what I used to look like? No,

44:25

I'll show you. This is my favorite photo to show people.

44:28

It is just the

44:31

I love.

44:31

Yeah.

44:32

There's nothing worse though than peakan in high school or

44:34

something.

44:34

You're like, I did not that

44:36

was me?

44:38

Whoa you look like it's aferent person,

44:40

you look like a totally different person, so you

44:42

know you're shined

44:44

to kind of like your glove of

44:46

your spirit.

44:47

We never talk about body shaming for people who are too

44:49

think because my whole life I was made fun of constantly

44:52

for being way too skinny. All the guys would make fun

44:54

of me for how I looked, just call me

44:56

a faggot. But you know there's

44:58

also that too. Its skinny,

45:01

but like they're and I'm not saying I'm going through the same

45:03

thing as someone who's who's overweight and made

45:05

fun of for. But you're too skinny, and

45:07

you know who wommen,

45:09

Yes, So I didn't say more to me.

45:11

I had a boss that was naturally

45:13

very very thin, and like I worked with her both of

45:15

her daughters who were naturally very thin, and she would I

45:17

remember she would say to me, She's like, when you're like

45:20

very thin, people do not mind coming up to

45:22

you telling you that. She's like, if I was overweight,

45:24

no one's gonna come to me and like put the sandwich down

45:26

your fat fox, Like, but everybody comments

45:29

on how thin I am.

45:30

Everyone that's gross.

45:31

And I've got most of my comments

45:33

about how thin I was from women. They

45:35

would come out I wish I had your legs. I'm

45:37

like, well, do you think that's what I want to hear. I'm

45:40

nineteen, just a fledging

45:42

homosexual, just you know. But

45:44

yeah, so I spent and to build

45:46

up it spent. I have a highatabolism. I spent a long

45:48

time, like figuring out the gym and figuring out

45:50

how to go and do all that stuff. So now part

45:52

of that's added to my confidence, but that part

45:54

of me still lives inside getting called faggot

45:56

one eyebrow Okay,

46:02

yeah.

46:04

I wish I had the picture handy of my brows.

46:06

My mom wax my mom wacks them off and they look like

46:08

lightning bolts, like conflicting lightning

46:10

bolts.

46:11

For all of high.

46:11

School, I had a lot of Puerto Rican friends and they would

46:14

do my eyebrows. In college and

46:16

I just I had women's Puerto Rican

46:18

Chicago eyebrows

46:21

in college. So you feel like I

46:23

feel stand shade because it took me so

46:25

long to overcome even performing for like

46:28

all gay audiences, they're very tough, very smart.

46:30

Yeah, and they I mean so many people.

46:32

So many of my gay friends are like, yeah, we don't like gay

46:34

comedians, and I go, Okay, I

46:36

think they.

46:37

Used to be more true, and I think, like I'm generally

46:39

speaking here, but I felt that fifteen

46:42

years ago when I started stand up, trying to

46:44

perform for gay rooms a lot of times because

46:46

gays weren't welcome to do stand up in the big

46:49

circuit, right, But the attitude was

46:51

sort of like we hear that said, brunch, where's Kathy

46:53

Griffin? But yeah, I

46:55

will say with the amount of queer comics

46:58

coming up in social media that now

47:00

everyone realizes that there's a place at the table.

47:02

So I my shows,

47:04

I mean, I've only been really selling tickets

47:07

for the past two years of my career are

47:09

predominantly gay men, and I think there's a

47:11

big sigh of relief in the room that we

47:13

can all enjoy stand up the way

47:16

everybody else was. And then the gay comics,

47:18

I just they were not available to Jim David and

47:21

Mario Canton were not available to me as a sixteen

47:23

year old.

47:23

I have Margaret Show and Kathy Griffin.

47:25

Yeah. Well, I mean I think it's important with comedy

47:27

you need someone who shares your perspective, like that's

47:29

where the joke is, Like there's a million

47:32

really successful comedians that I understand

47:35

that they are funny, but they're not funny to me because I don't.

47:37

I haven't lived the life that they've lived. Right,

47:39

It's very important to have someone who shares your

47:42

perspective.

47:42

Yeah, and there's a lot of there's so many queer

47:45

comics now who are like jess

47:47

Tom, Joel Comb, Booster, Solomon

47:50

Georgio, Jay Jurden,

47:52

j Bry, Jessica person. Like

47:54

the list just goes on.

47:56

Yeah, yeah, what else makes you? When

47:58

else do you feel sexy? When I went in Fortnite?

48:01

Yeah?

48:01

Really?

48:01

Oh I feel great? Really? Oh, you can't

48:04

tell me I'm not you like,

48:06

murdering makes you horny?

48:09

So much murdering because like they kind of digitally

48:11

disappear. Oh but I mean I am holding

48:13

an AK forty you know, shooting

48:15

people, right, But no, it's just so funny with your

48:17

friends and kill people and win because there's

48:20

one hundred people and you have to if you come down to

48:22

the last team that won.

48:23

Oh okay, so you survived a lot. I

48:25

feel great and you feel

48:27

sexy?

48:28

Yeah sure? Yeah, But the older I get,

48:30

the less sexy, you know what I mean? Like

48:33

I don't like I'm not feeling my oats in the mirror anymore.

48:35

I'm like, i'd say it, yeah, right, yeah,

48:37

I was.

48:37

I was thinking back fondly to the days where I would

48:39

like when I was turned thirteen and I got

48:41

tits and I would just walk around the mall by myself

48:44

in the tightest clothing I could find, with

48:46

my fucking CD player, my headphones, and just

48:48

like I felt like such a hot

48:50

bitch.

48:51

It was it was you four how

48:53

hot I felt.

48:54

And I'm constantly trying to get back to that point.

48:57

You don't have like mirror moments, so I

48:59

always have her moments. Men

49:02

look, so it makes I take my Yeah,

49:04

you don't take pictures like.

49:05

Men, maybe my ass or something.

49:08

I don't. Yeah, your body's fucking bumping and

49:10

your face is hot.

49:11

I don't know. I haven't I haven't looked in the mirror

49:13

and a long I mean today here, and I thought I

49:17

just felt like like Sideshow Bob and the Simpson's.

49:19

Like or

49:21

like Helga Bataki, that kid then she always punched

49:25

Hey Ronold, oh my god. Yeah,

49:28

that was the one show I just never got

49:30

into. It's pretty good. I

49:32

like haronald Alt, oh, my god, it was so good.

49:42

Okay, so we feel like, how about like like

49:45

feeling sexy in relationships, like.

49:48

Eating together?

49:50

Really, I

49:52

was like, I hate eating.

49:53

That's one of my least favorite parts of a relationship is eating

49:55

with someone else because I like to eat naked and be disgusting,

49:58

really really get into it.

50:00

Yeah. I want to be able to just do whatever.

50:02

I want to be able to not worry about having food in my teeth

50:04

or like, yeah, just really go for it.

50:07

Everything muck bang style on the table,

50:09

Like.

50:10

I think if they don't snore, spooning can

50:12

be really sexy for three minutes.

50:14

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then to readjust

50:16

yeah, my neck always hurts

50:19

a bob.

50:19

The Drag Queen is a great joke where he's like, you know you're

50:21

thirty whin He's like you literally

50:23

no matter how you sit. Thirteen seconds

50:25

later, like my back hurt. Yeah, I mean that's

50:27

how it is.

50:28

This is doesn't have a lot of long range. This position.

50:30

No, I can't even lay down flat. Then I'm like, oh,

50:32

my back feels tight and like, what's wrong

50:36

falling apart?

50:37

Well?

50:38

Also, you worked out a lot.

50:39

I feel like when you work out at everything

50:41

is just more sore all the time and makes

50:43

noises.

50:44

Yeah, you know, it's really tough beat

50:47

at the gym all the time, having to eat zebra

50:49

all the time. Wow, it's great.

50:51

Actually, I was thinking out my friend Eric Anddino this past

50:53

weekend in Detroit. We went to middle school together,

50:56

and he's like six or five and he is the size

50:58

of this room. He's so muscular that next

51:00

to him, I just feel like a little too farm

51:02

mouse and like and then you see like him

51:05

doing like these squats, I'm like, oh,

51:07

is that possible? Like some thatis

51:09

is genetic, Like these big centaurs

51:11

walking around the gym, it is, I think

51:13

genetics.

51:14

Like a viking energy. Yeah, you

51:16

get really hooked in the gym. I think it's like too easy to get

51:18

hooked on.

51:19

When I started doing squats like weightlifting, I'm

51:21

like, oh, I should not be near

51:23

gym because I would just want to do it all the time.

51:25

I can, I say, I go to the gym all the time. I absolutely

51:27

hate every time I go. Oh yeah, the whole

51:29

thing sucks.

51:30

Yeah.

51:30

Yeah, I just want to sit at home and vape and watch

51:33

Pokemon news.

51:34

Of course, Pokemon news.

51:35

Yeah, there's a new Pokemon game probably coming

51:37

out soon. They're going to redo Jodo, and I don't think it's

51:40

going to be good Pokemon.

51:40

What do you speak? Truth? Speak you truth? I know that speaker.

51:43

I know the headquarters of game Freak are watching this

51:45

show.

51:46

Let me just surprised.

51:49

Yeah, who's some surprising celebrities that listen

51:51

to the show.

51:53

Let's see, let's see and boil. Oh,

51:55

Corey, Corey, Corey

51:58

Booker.

51:58

I was gonna say Corey Matthews, now Harry Booker.

52:01

We went ran into Corey Booker. See,

52:03

I believe you listen? Does anymore.

52:10

Streams a lot of what happened

52:12

to Corey Booker?

52:13

Uh?

52:14

He does a lot of Instagram videos that are really beautiful

52:16

and heartfelt.

52:17

But I don't know.

52:19

Yah, I'm just done with it. I okay,

52:21

there was It's

52:24

beyond exhausting, and then they demand

52:26

every year that it's oh beyond,

52:28

But no, I love these Instagram accounts of like inspirational

52:31

anything. This one guy, he's straight but looks

52:33

like ten percent, so, you know, trying drum all

52:36

in. And I think that he sets up

52:38

a fake podcast. I don't think there's a real podcast happening.

52:40

He's talking to no one. I've never seen the other person

52:42

he talks to, and he's always like, that is the hardest

52:44

decision that you're ever going to have to make

52:47

in your life. And when he

52:49

has to be there.

52:50

That goes on what people fake podcasts

52:53

for clips.

52:54

There's a fake there's a guy this fake stand

52:56

up. Yeah.

52:58

Yes, they set up like a room like

53:00

this. They put in the lights and they have someone panning and

53:02

then he's talking and looking like this and then there's

53:04

laughter. I'm like, what is this club?

53:07

That's more work than doing actual sign.

53:12

He's too scared go to pine

53:14

box and summer like the rest of us.

53:17

But yeah, I've seen people. I hate that and my husband

53:20

loves it. Any inspirational anything

53:22

like and there's like some sort of violent ship

53:24

music in the background. That's the time

53:27

we lose the most. It's

53:29

the time we lose the most.

53:32

And it's just someone I wouldn't trust with a plant, and

53:34

like, I wouldn't trust you with anything.

53:36

My favorite accounts are the ones about a specific personality

53:39

disorder and the person only talks about that personality

53:41

disorder and it's used as an excuse for everything.

53:44

Because they're differing deeply from that personality.

53:46

There like so many ADHD accounts

53:48

that blame everything on ADHD, And

53:50

I'm like, when I killed.

53:51

My mother, I didn't realize it was

53:53

because I'm ADHD. This

53:56

is brought to you by better Help. Yeah, I

53:58

know. Well now, Also, they like

54:00

like to be an actual people have narcissistic

54:03

qualities and tendencies. That is called

54:05

being human. But there are people

54:08

that are genuine narcissists. But it's such a small

54:10

percentage of the populations.

54:13

I don't even think I've actually ever met a narcissist.

54:16

No, I don't think so either.

54:17

I think I can think of one. And

54:19

but these people who want to blame someone

54:21

and being a narcissist, like, oh my ex is a.

54:23

Narcissist possibility, no personal

54:25

responsibility.

54:27

I mean, that's exactly what it is.

54:28

You wanted to fuck a boat.

54:30

But everyone's narist, I know every

54:32

have you ever heard of a narcissist? Here

54:34

are the qualities that you may be dating someone

54:37

who may be a narcissist. Number

54:39

one, they breathe like it's just so

54:41

like it's me to me. I

54:43

don't know, I don't know how you feel about it. I hate

54:45

astrology just out there,

54:48

but with me, well, that's

54:51

everything.

54:52

Sometimes very very wary

54:55

of it, but recently I've been

54:58

you know, you know what the biggest thing for me is how

55:00

much men hate it and make.

55:01

Fun of it. I go, it must be true

55:04

that.

55:04

That's a good joke. Do you say that?

55:06

In safe We I was working on it because that was my

55:08

realization and a true realization right

55:10

after it. And then just so many men, well

55:13

anytime men continuously pot well, and he

55:15

had a lot of domestic abuse jokes, and I mean

55:18

the whole thing.

55:18

I don't know.

55:18

And to

55:21

me, the criminal offense and the Matt

55:23

Rife special is the twenty minute backpack story that

55:25

has no ending.

55:27

There's not what's ending when

55:29

you got those anyway.

55:30

I just I will say, I watch someone review Matt,

55:33

because Matt's.

55:33

Been going through it.

55:34

I I wish they sold

55:36

out shows that Radio City for

55:39

him

55:42

criticism And I don't think you're criticizing it. But I

55:44

will say people were really digging

55:46

to get mad at one point because they were like and making fun

55:48

of astrology, where I'm like, hold up, yeah,

55:51

okay, domestic violence one.

55:53

Thing, yeahytrology, it's

55:56

to be made fun of astrology, even

55:58

like you know, and I'm but.

56:00

These people are getting offended by the things

56:02

they like, not things that they genuinely are.

56:04

Do you see what I'm saying, Oh, it'sous.

56:06

And also you're right, like people are like I am a

56:08

fucking pisces.

56:10

Deal with it, like excuse,

56:12

yeah, we're over here's what's happening in the world.

56:14

With the world now, we're over identifying

56:16

with that. Yes, we're over identifying with our

56:18

sexuality, we're over identifying with our

56:20

job.

56:20

We're over identifying with the things we like.

56:23

When we're saying that we're bored, because

56:26

well, it doesn't leave room for where it's actually important.

56:29

So there are people who are non binary

56:31

or trans or gay or by but it's

56:33

like so in terms of sexuality, I'm just saying, so there

56:35

are plights for people who are saying, like, hey,

56:37

we actually need to be heard, yeah, because

56:40

there's problems. And then that gets over shunned

56:42

by people taking the fact that they're a scorpio as

56:44

serious as someone who's dealing with the fact that they're trans.

56:47

Yes, exactly, And it's like yes, when there's violence

56:49

being had or like bullying, it's like whoha, everybody,

56:51

shut the fuck up, and we need to like recalibrate here. But

56:54

I feel like, yeah, people wear identities

56:56

as a badge. I read a book I forget

56:58

which one was talking about, like, you can't be an activist

57:00

if you're too emotionally involved in the thing that you're

57:03

being an activist for, because then your confusing.

57:06

It does, and I, yes, it does seem confusing.

57:08

But he's basically like, if you like, you're

57:10

taking it too personally, you have to have some separation

57:13

between the well you do so that you can mindfully

57:16

advocate for it.

57:16

And I'm like, oh, that goes with

57:18

relationships too. You can't be too emotionally

57:21

involved in your relationships.

57:22

Honestly, Oh, preach, tell me more

57:24

about this. You really can't.

57:26

I mean no, we're all comedians. We all every

57:29

comedian treats relationships the same way.

57:32

I think how I don't know, we're all

57:35

sort of like your material.

57:38

Yeah, don't come to close the Yeah.

57:40

Yeah I like that. Yeah, I mean

57:42

that's that's certainly what I do. I like attention, but

57:44

not too much.

57:45

I love it. I love it.

57:47

I only like attention when I like it, Like, I don't

57:49

like it.

57:49

All you don't want it. Yeah, it's

57:51

like nails on a chalkboard.

57:52

I really, I'm like when I'm on stage or when I'm

57:54

along with my partner, other than that, like, no,

57:57

I don't want any of the people are saying partner now

58:00

sometimes yeah, oh shit, we kind of stole that from

58:02

I don't.

58:03

I do not care because I always

58:05

thought it was kind of like I remember, like my

58:07

friends they were lesbians, and she's like, this is my partner.

58:10

Must always be like yeah, like I would

58:12

mainly hear it.

58:13

And then I thought it was more like moving

58:15

in the direction of like boyfriend girlfriend, And now

58:17

all straight people were like, yeah, this

58:19

is my partner because they're trying not to offend

58:21

anyone by having sexual preference.

58:23

I guess, oh no, it's not.

58:25

I think it's also just like as you get older, just saying

58:27

boyfriend sounds very jewvenile.

58:29

I think that's more. That's New York.

58:31

This is never never Land. Oh yeah, I've

58:35

honestly, whatever age you moved to New York, that's

58:37

the age you are. For the restaurant fiction.

58:39

I started math where I moved to New York.

58:42

Bob the Dragmen hasn't Sorry, Bob, I'm using all your jokes,

58:44

Bob is a joke where he's like grown gay

58:46

men in their pictures, like, I have a boy coming over

58:49

tonight. He's like, you're fifty. Yeah,

58:51

he's not a boy, he's forty six.

58:53

Yeah, but it is. It's just like also the

58:55

fact that like a lot of people have less kids

58:58

here, there's a lot less like nothing more

59:00

fun. Traditionally, we're just having

59:02

a good time.

59:03

Yeah, we have, we do have more fun. Well, speaking

59:06

of boys, you married a boy,

59:08

a man. You married a man. I married a man. You

59:11

married a man. Since last time we had you on the show,

59:14

the last.

59:14

One was on this show. I think was like a while ten

59:16

years ago.

59:17

You were on the first episode.

59:19

It was probably it was in your part, your

59:21

part thirty.

59:22

Fourth Yeah, yeah, on fourth Street. Yeah,

59:24

that was a good one. Were we downstairs or upstairs?

59:27

Downstairs?

59:28

Oh okay yeah yeah yeah. So that was before o

59:30

G Yeah, way back. Yeah,

59:33

so that was before Plug moved out. Yep, yeah, that

59:35

was a long time ago. Yeah,

59:38

so you're yeah, So you got married and

59:41

I went to your I went to your a

59:43

little celebration.

59:44

I tell you, when I saw you, I was so exhausted

59:47

that I realized after you left, I didn't even give you a proper

59:49

hug high and it's plagued me since.

59:51

Oh my god, but

59:53

I was so there was so much happening that at

59:55

one point I just like kind of just sat there. I think I

59:57

came up to say hi to Colin and I was like, I think I'm just

59:59

gonna here.

1:00:00

Yeah.

1:00:00

Yeah, because my cousins from Italy were there, and I was like,

1:00:02

I'll just not move now.

1:00:04

Yeah. Yeah, it does seem like the most hiring day of

1:00:06

one's life.

1:00:07

No, we did.

1:00:08

We did a city hall wedding, which is the closest

1:00:10

you can get to getting married in jail.

1:00:11

And because you.

1:00:13

Show up, I mean most weddings you like walk through

1:00:16

you know, lavender and flowers

1:00:18

and doves going through a metal detector.

1:00:20

That's so fun. And oh the number they gave us. And I'm

1:00:22

not making this up for a joke. I swear to god, yes,

1:00:24

they never think of us a sixty nine because it's like you're at a deli,

1:00:27

you pull a number. Yeah, sixty nine. We haven't

1:00:29

framed on our walk.

1:00:29

Oh that's perfect.

1:00:30

Did you get to pick the person that did somebody say something

1:00:32

or you just got paperwork?

1:00:34

We had a woman's So first of all,

1:00:36

you sit down and you wait for you to be called like the

1:00:38

DMV and when and when you're gay and you're number

1:00:40

sixty nine, everyone's like are they kidding? And

1:00:43

we go in so you can have two witnesses,

1:00:46

and then the judge right, and then us. So it was

1:00:48

Liz from the cellar, my mom, and

1:00:50

then the judge one eater

1:00:52

from the Bronx. We were probably her eighteenth wedding that

1:00:54

day, and my mom on the phone

1:00:56

on a zoom had all of Rodrigo's family from Mexico

1:00:59

and none of them on you to themselves. Oh no,

1:01:02

so the sound of our wedding, I mean it was

1:01:04

the closest thing to be getting married in Arby's. But like

1:01:06

the like our wedding was one need to being

1:01:08

like Doyo, Matteo, take Rodrigo to

1:01:10

take your lot a full wedded husband. And in the background

1:01:12

is here I think, give me like so

1:01:15

much sound?

1:01:18

Yeah, I can't imagine.

1:01:20

Uh, I would want people to like wheel

1:01:22

me around like it's weekend of Bernie's at my wedding day because

1:01:24

it's just so much there's so much stimulus.

1:01:26

Well, we also get enough attention.

1:01:28

I think.

1:01:29

I think that's usually when someone not in

1:01:31

entertainment is getting married. That's

1:01:33

a big event for them in the family, and they're nervous

1:01:35

because they're not used to that kind of attention.

1:01:38

I never thought about it.

1:01:38

We're like it's enough, Yeah,

1:01:41

yeah, it's enough that I don't even tell my birthday

1:01:43

and like it's yeah enough.

1:01:45

Yeah, not even the.

1:01:47

Kind of attention you like, because it's not for your like art

1:01:49

or your talent. It's just for doing something that you

1:01:51

know anyone can do it. So it feels like less special attention.

1:01:54

You feel we didn't earn it.

1:01:55

Yeah, you love each other exactly, Like I didn't even do

1:01:57

a trick?

1:01:57

What is this?

1:01:58

Yeah?

1:01:58

Sometimes when I get on stage and the they won't stop clapping,

1:02:01

I go, I haven't done anything yet.

1:02:02

Yeah, yeah, I told it from Barbaris Streis.

1:02:06

She did a concert and Central Park for two hundred thousand

1:02:08

people in the sixties and they wouldn't stop clapping. She goes,

1:02:10

I didn't do nothing yet.

1:02:12

I love she's so sweet cut. I

1:02:15

have like a list of like kind of Cosmo

1:02:18

level questions.

1:02:19

I'm ready to answer these.

1:02:20

What's the behavior you used to do in relationships

1:02:22

that you now realize it's toxic ooh,

1:02:28

or you can pick one that you're still doing and you're not looking

1:02:31

to check.

1:02:32

That's a longer list. I

1:02:35

think. I think,

1:02:37

like I'm trying to think of my first relationship, second

1:02:40

relationship. I think now I can be a little

1:02:42

more vulnerable, you know what I'm saying.

1:02:44

The first relationship, you're nervous. You're

1:02:46

trying to put on this fantasy of who you think you should

1:02:48

be for that person, and all you end up doing is upsetting

1:02:50

yourself and resenting yourself, and then that

1:02:53

turns into resenting them.

1:02:54

Yes, yeah, so I bet you in this jail that you

1:02:56

also put yourself in.

1:02:58

That's right. Also then when they drink too much, So

1:03:01

yeah, I would say that.

1:03:02

Okay.

1:03:02

It's very interesting too though, because I

1:03:05

as being you know, in this profession, we were

1:03:07

super vulnerable, but I also have trouble

1:03:09

being vulnerable in relationships. Yet I'll, you

1:03:11

know, talk about how the interior of my

1:03:13

vagina looks no problem on stage on

1:03:16

camera.

1:03:16

What's what do you think about the reward?

1:03:18

It's the risk reward, And so there's

1:03:21

there's more risk in a relationship to be vulnerable

1:03:23

with someone. And because we're always afraid of

1:03:25

rejection, where when you're on stage you're

1:03:27

like, well, I've got we're in

1:03:29

charge. Yeah, there's not really a talk

1:03:31

back unless they're Heckler's in Omaha, Nebraska,

1:03:34

and they sit in the front row and they spend extra money

1:03:36

just to talk the entire goddamn.

1:03:38

Time, Higher time, come

1:03:40

on.

1:03:40

They finally got kicked out to each

1:03:43

other and me. At one point I leaned

1:03:45

down. There's like two thousand people and I'm like, Hi, I'm

1:03:48

sorry, there is a show happening,

1:03:51

and she goes I was saying, you're

1:03:54

hot, and I said, well, I'll disappoint

1:03:56

you later. And then they came and

1:03:58

took her out.

1:03:59

Oh my god, well been at our comedy store show.

1:04:01

Just had to put her foot.

1:04:03

Is that not so disrespectful?

1:04:05

That's been happening a lot relently

1:04:08

didn't think it was.

1:04:10

WHOA.

1:04:10

We brought her on stage for a segment.

1:04:13

WHOA, that looks like you had

1:04:15

an exorcism?

1:04:17

Did you swell too much? Come?

1:04:19

I did? Yeah

1:04:21

around stage and she was cool, and I'm like, this is confusing.

1:04:24

Well, I think she also I think she's one of those people

1:04:26

who test boundaries. Because I had

1:04:28

to pretty sternly tell her that I wasn't

1:04:31

fucking with her and to get the boots off

1:04:33

the stage.

1:04:33

She never got him off though, No, she ultimately

1:04:36

did.

1:04:36

Was kind of psychos testing boundaries at a show

1:04:38

that's not yours, Like what kind of narcissist

1:04:41

you have to be?

1:04:44

She's definitely won that.

1:04:45

Well, there are, because there are. Like, for example,

1:04:47

one time I was at the Cellar, you know, at the like comedy

1:04:50

clubs in New York. You're doing the same material every

1:04:52

single night because you're working it out. Yeah, So I was

1:04:54

doing a show and some woman yelled, she goes, I heard

1:04:56

this last night, do another joke.

1:04:58

Oh, like you're a juke right.

1:05:00

So then I said, I said, okay, everyone, let

1:05:02

me just explain something. Everyone look at her. So everyone looked

1:05:04

at I said, this is a narcissist.

1:05:08

There's three hundred people in the room and

1:05:10

this person decided to take it upon themselves

1:05:12

to tell me what I have to do, and

1:05:14

this is the show. So then I went in on her.

1:05:17

That's great, but that is a narcissist. Yeah,

1:05:19

yeah, you're not lucky.

1:05:21

Yeah, Heckler's

1:05:24

just don't just don't heckle. Also, don't go to a comedy

1:05:27

club, a comedy show and drugs like

1:05:29

yeah, don't don't.

1:05:30

Don't get drunk because that makes it fun for

1:05:32

nobody. And I don't know what it is with people doing

1:05:34

cocaine coming to comedy shows.

1:05:36

Is that an issue?

1:05:37

Well, it's got like on the road a lot of cocaine.

1:05:39

Really, yes, And I'm like,

1:05:43

r is it?

1:05:44

I've never done it.

1:05:45

I feel like people, I feel like there and all the

1:05:47

more people want to play Russian Rolette. It's

1:05:49

very weird.

1:05:51

Yeah, I'm too, frair. The only drug I've ever done

1:05:53

ever is molly twice. That's

1:05:56

it.

1:05:56

Really. I don't even do

1:05:58

that any driving. That's what even for me.

1:06:01

Yeah, that's it.

1:06:02

Mushrooms are not really.

1:06:03

Too I know. I was talking to whom

1:06:06

I talking to about mushrooms with someone's

1:06:08

like, you should just try them like.

1:06:09

A little bit.

1:06:10

It'd be fun, we could, you know, Like, but I'd

1:06:12

have to do it with like a group of people that I love and trust.

1:06:14

Yes, But also, if you're feeling good about

1:06:16

life, you don't need to do drug like you don't like

1:06:18

people are like you gotta try this, you don't.

1:06:21

But the things like I don't have.

1:06:22

Time I barely have time to do laundry, don't

1:06:24

I gonna have time to sit in the park for four hours and

1:06:26

watch the trees melts.

1:06:27

I agree with you. I agree.

1:06:29

Also, I was thinking about this and I was saying,

1:06:32

so, I have synesthesia. I don't know if you guys

1:06:34

know what that is.

1:06:35

You hear colors.

1:06:36

I see color with numbers and letters

1:06:38

like sometimes music, And so I think my

1:06:41

brain is so like oddly

1:06:43

like always kind of like there's

1:06:45

like a secondary mushrooms, right, I

1:06:47

have always on mushrooms.

1:06:49

So when you you see color in what

1:06:51

exactly in numbers.

1:06:52

In numbers and letters like on air, it's

1:06:54

like it goes white, purple, yellow, white,

1:06:56

red.

1:06:57

Whoa,

1:07:06

Well, that's so cool? Is this that you realize

1:07:08

that? Bicker? Yeah, when did you realize

1:07:10

you had it?

1:07:11

When I was sev eighteen? Because I mean

1:07:13

I just always well, I mean I always thought

1:07:15

that way, but you don't speak up about it. And then one

1:07:17

day I was listening to music in uh

1:07:20

school at essay, I see, I was painting, and I

1:07:23

because this one song kept like bringing

1:07:25

up all these different colors, and so I said

1:07:27

at lunch, and like, you guys listen to music and you see

1:07:29

color, and everyone looked at me like I was crazy,

1:07:31

and my friend, uh, Ernest

1:07:34

goes, oh, that's called synesthesia, mateo.

1:07:36

And then I looked it up and then I took a part of this synesthesia

1:07:39

test with researchers and I got a

1:07:41

ninety nine percent.

1:07:42

WHOA, I sailed it.

1:07:44

Yeah, for just for color graph, I think, is what

1:07:46

it's called.

1:07:47

That's cool.

1:07:47

So your main so you experience it in

1:07:49

that letters and numbers are colors,

1:07:51

and music is colors.

1:07:52

Some music, some instruments are brighter than

1:07:55

others, for sure.

1:07:56

Do you see the color with your eye or with your

1:07:58

mind's eye?

1:07:59

It's like here, like

1:08:02

in front of you, Like I don't know how to describe

1:08:04

it.

1:08:04

Like colored glasses, you know when you were like orange

1:08:06

sunglasses, like that kind of thing.

1:08:08

Maybe, Okay, think of it like it's like looking at

1:08:10

me, and then think of a really red tomato.

1:08:13

Okay, okay, so that's like the kind of closest

1:08:15

I can like like picture it. But

1:08:17

imagine that that happening

1:08:20

and it has its own little atmosphere.

1:08:22

Imagine that happening without

1:08:24

even trying, like it just happens unprovoked

1:08:27

reading WHOA, So it's like my

1:08:29

name starts red and

1:08:31

ends white.

1:08:32

It feels very distracting.

1:08:34

Well that's why adhd

1:08:37

yes.

1:08:37

Maybe not, but if you've always its like you've always

1:08:39

had it. So it's just like a part of how.

1:08:40

You think days of the weeks are colors

1:08:43

cool and colors Monday Monday,

1:08:46

Well, Monday's a red, but then Tuesday's

1:08:48

like light blue, Wednesdays like dark

1:08:50

purple, Thursday is dark orange,

1:08:52

Friday's bright orange, Saturday

1:08:55

is like a darker purple, Sunday is like a lighter purple

1:08:57

cool.

1:08:57

And this never changes.

1:08:59

Okay, I was a kid because I remember

1:09:01

asking my mom to play the orange song when I was

1:09:03

little and it was Barbari Streis and it don't rein

1:09:05

in my parade. And I still see the same colors

1:09:07

to this day when I.

1:09:08

Listen to That's interesting that it stays consistent

1:09:10

for you.

1:09:11

Yeah, it's really cool. And I've only met one other person

1:09:13

that has it.

1:09:13

Yeah, I've never met anybody now.

1:09:16

His name is Frank. We went to school together and we had a

1:09:18

lot in common drawing musical.

1:09:20

But do you think it's why you're so artistic?

1:09:23

Because you're such a good drawer and animator. I'm sure it.

1:09:25

Helps, but I think I just am artistic.

1:09:27

But I think if you took it away from me, I'd

1:09:29

be way more like observant

1:09:32

of like what where it falls

1:09:34

into place and how it affects my life.

1:09:36

But it's so normal to me.

1:09:37

The I'm like, okay, yeah, yeah, but I've met

1:09:39

one other person that has its show.

1:09:42

That's really cool. I see.

1:09:44

These are good questions.

1:09:45

What was the moment you just knew

1:09:48

you had to break up with them in your last relationships,

1:09:50

let's say, or like or like a major

1:09:53

moment.

1:09:53

I think when I think when your chest hurts

1:09:56

just thinking about them being near

1:09:58

them. Yeah, like that kind of

1:10:00

like pain. Yeah, that was my last

1:10:02

relationship. Yeah, where you're like, oh,

1:10:05

that's not.

1:10:05

One thing I realized.

1:10:06

Uh, before I have sex with somebody

1:10:09

that I'm about to like fall for, I get

1:10:11

a very specific feeling, not

1:10:13

in my vagina or anything like that, but like in my stomach,

1:10:15

like below my belly button that I only

1:10:17

ever get right before I have sex,

1:10:20

or when I think about having sex with somebody I've never slept

1:10:22

with before that I'm like, we are going to be together

1:10:24

for a long time, or I'm just got very intense feelings

1:10:26

for you.

1:10:26

Your vagina has a sixth sense.

1:10:28

It's it's not my vagina though, it's like my stomach,

1:10:30

Like, no, it's not.

1:10:32

It's like we're really trying to make it.

1:10:36

At your own.

1:10:37

It's like a you know, like a pit in your stomach. It's

1:10:39

like that, but it's very specific.

1:10:41

I will say I had that with my

1:10:43

last boyfriend and my current husband, where

1:10:46

like you meet them and like you're just like, oh, this

1:10:49

person's going to be my.

1:10:50

Life for a while.

1:10:50

Yeah, it's like so now I not it's there. I use it

1:10:52

as a metal detectors, just like intuition.

1:10:55

I yeah, I guess, but I only interested in when

1:10:57

it comes here sure, right below my

1:11:00

button, inside my stomach. And it's only

1:11:02

when I think about sleeping with somebody that I have not

1:11:04

slept with that I know what chakras, the sacral

1:11:07

okay okay, l a, what

1:11:11

chakra henry

1:11:14

centers of the body, and they're really really I

1:11:17

have this attitude about everything too,

1:11:19

But I don't know. I just was like convinced, convinced

1:11:21

a little bit more that this stuff has

1:11:23

a more meaning.

1:11:24

That we find. Well, that kind of stuff like your

1:11:26

chakras are aligned. Even even if it's not

1:11:29

science at least it's trying to explain

1:11:31

to like balance your life. Like the

1:11:33

messaging behind it is balance your life.

1:11:37

I'm a Capricorn and I'm reading in

1:11:39

the back of Star magazine what my Wednesday

1:11:41

is going to be? Like?

1:11:42

Yeah, you know, getting it. Getting your horoscope in the back

1:11:44

of a magazine is discussed.

1:11:45

Oh, Star magazine by the Gatti mother.

1:11:48

Oh she used to do it. Oh yeahs

1:11:50

used to get start magazines. And I take a black front marker

1:11:52

and make everyone's face Michael Jackson, That's

1:11:55

how I spent my childhood. How was yours?

1:11:59

A lot of tears? Very beautiful? Let's

1:12:02

see, I

1:12:05

have a couple here, have

1:12:08

you out? Well?

1:12:09

This may be more personal, ques like, have you ever had

1:12:11

a spark die in a relationship and you revived

1:12:13

it? Mm?

1:12:17

Can friendships count?

1:12:20

Yeah?

1:12:20

Yeah, I mean in a relationships

1:12:23

usually when the spark dies, everyone kind of like

1:12:25

packs their bags, right. I like

1:12:27

my last boyfriend, there

1:12:29

was a huge spark in the beginning and

1:12:31

it was just so intense and then like

1:12:34

I never I think I was like almost like a

1:12:36

heron attic, like chasing that high.

1:12:39

I couldn't quite get back.

1:12:40

To it only sexual or it was just like an

1:12:42

all all, all in all encapsulating.

1:12:45

Yeah. Do you still talk to the person

1:12:47

you had the best sex with? I

1:12:50

do not.

1:12:51

Well. Yeah, and if he didn't do laundry, I'm

1:12:53

gonna be furious.

1:12:59

See.

1:12:59

Actually, I'm see in this situation because he's

1:13:01

got to just thick Spanish. Actually, right, right,

1:13:03

right right, mex.

1:13:04

You did marry the person that you've had the best sex with.

1:13:07

I feel like that's actually really rare.

1:13:09

That's rare.

1:13:09

Yes, I know, wow,

1:13:13

because.

1:13:13

Usually when you have the best sex ever with

1:13:15

somebody, you're like, this is way too toxic.

1:13:17

Yeah, yeah, I do understand that

1:13:19

sentiment deeply.

1:13:22

How long? Wait?

1:13:22

How long were you dating before you got engaged

1:13:25

slash married?

1:13:27

We started talking end of February

1:13:29

and by that by August got married.

1:13:32

Wow lesbian speed?

1:13:33

Yes, you know, my

1:13:36

wife and I like to make her own water.

1:13:39

Wait, what was it like? What you always

1:13:41

move fast in relationships?

1:13:43

I go to bed at five pm because

1:13:45

I have six cats, take care of Jules,

1:13:49

Sydney, Tracy,

1:13:54

Tracy, Katie Lane, Melissa

1:13:59

cats, and we wake

1:14:01

up at threem to feed the chickens.

1:14:04

What's a non sexual thing that turns you on?

1:14:08

A non sexual thing that turns me on?

1:14:10

Maybe just someone's walk. M

1:14:13

Yeah, have you got like a confident walk?

1:14:16

My Chicagoy accident, You've a confident I

1:14:19

remember watching hollow Man years ago, which is an

1:14:22

awful film starting Kevin Bacon.

1:14:24

Oh my god, hollow Man.

1:14:27

Awful, awful, awful, but good,

1:14:29

but like a good awful you know.

1:14:31

Kevin Bacon was walking, said I've always

1:14:33

liked his walk, and I thought, so

1:14:35

Now. I always like, in my head, I didn't really have

1:14:37

a good walk, have you I'll

1:14:40

have a good walk.

1:14:40

I don't. I've never had a good walk in my life.

1:14:42

When I have a good walk, I feel like I lock into

1:14:44

it and I'm like, oh, oh oh, yes you.

1:14:47

Did you learn it at the mall when you first got your breast?

1:14:49

Honestly, yes, yes, that was a great walk.

1:14:51

Oh so horny when I did that, I so horny

1:14:53

I've ever been.

1:14:54

I just love the idea of you. You have to

1:14:56

say that on stage, that's yeah.

1:14:59

Yeah, I tried to get molested by a teacher. What's

1:15:04

the most caring thing a partner's ever done

1:15:06

for you?

1:15:07

The laundry good.

1:15:09

I'm kidding honestly,

1:15:11

stuff like that, like if I come home, Yes,

1:15:14

that's kind of.

1:15:15

Say I love language. Is that how you like to be loved.

1:15:17

I don't know that I believe in love languages, but I

1:15:19

think definitely something that I

1:15:22

I I rarely ask

1:15:25

for help, so I have a difficult time receiving

1:15:27

help because I think I'm I'll figure

1:15:29

it out myself.

1:15:30

Yeah, hyper independent.

1:15:32

I am very hard. It's a kind of a problem.

1:15:33

Yeah, it is a big problem though.

1:15:36

Again, but no,

1:15:38

if I come home, it's like, let's say I was in Boston.

1:15:41

I had seven shows in Boston. I'm there for

1:15:43

a week. You're exhausted.

1:15:45

I mean, your body is literally falling apart from

1:15:47

People don't understand how hard it is.

1:15:49

It doesn't even be like I'm a firefighter.

1:15:51

It is.

1:15:52

I'm just saying risky, it's dangerous.

1:15:55

There's lots of cats involved. You're

1:15:58

exerting so much energy, and you

1:16:00

want each show to be as good as the next show. So

1:16:02

when you come home, if I come home and the house

1:16:04

is spotless, I'm like, oh

1:16:07

god, this is and

1:16:09

I didn't ask.

1:16:10

Oh yeah, because you're exerting

1:16:13

energy, but you're also taking in the weight

1:16:15

of everybody else's energy. Doing

1:16:17

a show for that amount of people when they're all

1:16:19

there to see you versus

1:16:21

doing a show when they're there to see a smattering of

1:16:23

people is a completely.

1:16:25

Different pressure on top

1:16:27

of you.

1:16:27

Everyone's there, they're looking at the

1:16:30

hanging on everything you say, and it's

1:16:32

a lot, and.

1:16:33

You don't want to disappoint. I want the turning customers.

1:16:35

I want them to go home and say, it was worth it to get the baby

1:16:38

babysit or microp but it was worth

1:16:40

it for like the money, it was worth it to get out here.

1:16:43

Yes, So I I really work hard

1:16:45

on stage to give them all I

1:16:47

got.

1:16:48

And you have to, Yeah, you have to, Like

1:16:50

a camel with water, you just have to like save

1:16:52

your energy and like keep it on a shelf and not utilize

1:16:55

it. Wait second, I want to go back to this

1:16:57

really fast engagement. I'm

1:17:00

obsessed with us because I just want to talk about, like how

1:17:02

to navigate when you get married that quickly?

1:17:04

Or do you want to get a couple's therapists? Yeah,

1:17:07

that's serious. Get a couple of therapists. You can learn

1:17:10

how to like communicate to each other. Yeah,

1:17:12

and you need a mediator sometimes in the beginning

1:17:15

just kind of like figure out what is each other's

1:17:17

buttons. Buttons we're pushing and.

1:17:19

And sometimes you can't tell see the forest of the

1:17:21

trees, and like is this my security speaking or do it

1:17:23

like you?

1:17:23

It's like things can get muddy very quickly.

1:17:25

Very quickly, because you're also still you're

1:17:28

coming out of the phase of like presenting

1:17:30

yourself in the best light, and now suddenly you're

1:17:32

living with each other.

1:17:33

So you're like, oh boy, you have to like smell your shit.

1:17:35

So I'm like, okay, okay, have you have you

1:17:37

lived with someone before?

1:17:39

No?

1:17:39

See, okay, Oh shit, it's a whole It's

1:17:41

so.

1:17:42

Talk about how to change because I've never lived with

1:17:44

someone, and the thought of it, just

1:17:46

since Shiver's done it is.

1:17:48

I've discovered that it's okay to ask

1:17:51

for time alone and that doesn't mean

1:17:53

you're rejecting the other person. But we exert

1:17:55

a lot of energy and we have a lot of people

1:17:57

wanting our attention, and so

1:18:00

there are for me. The way I recharge

1:18:02

is not sitting with friends, and it

1:18:05

is literally being alone. That's

1:18:07

how I recharge. And Michelle

1:18:09

Wolf said this to me once years ago. And I

1:18:11

always think about it. She was like, she was talking

1:18:13

about a breakup she was going through, and she

1:18:15

goes, something, you know, being alone is so important

1:18:17

to her, And I was like why, and she goes, because sometimes

1:18:20

you just need to let.

1:18:20

Your mind wander.

1:18:22

Yes, And I was like, I've always

1:18:24

sort of related to that. It's very true.

1:18:26

So am I recharging? Is like after

1:18:29

I'm on you know, three planes, five

1:18:31

thousand people, four hotels,

1:18:33

da, da, da, I want to sit on my couch and

1:18:36

do nothing. That's what I want to do. And

1:18:38

I want to kind of and I don't want because because

1:18:40

what the problem is what happens is that

1:18:43

even if someone isn't draining your energy,

1:18:45

right, they just want to be around you.

1:18:47

Your brain at that moment is taking

1:18:49

that on as another responsibility. Sure,

1:18:51

And I have a real hard time

1:18:54

with the amount of responsibilities that

1:18:56

I have, and I'm always trying to sort of knock it

1:18:58

down so that way I don't feel overwhelmed.

1:19:01

So I will say even like like rod

1:19:04

Rigo knows, he's like sometimes like I'll come home

1:19:06

from a long weekend and he'll have the house clean.

1:19:08

He'll be like, you know, I'll see you in an hour, I'll

1:19:10

bring lunch or whatever, and.

1:19:11

It's like love.

1:19:12

Yeah, And it allows me to come home, settle

1:19:15

down. I don't have to talk. I can and then when he

1:19:17

comes home, we can have dinner together and I can slowly

1:19:19

seep back into my normal

1:19:21

life.

1:19:22

I like that you said that because it truly doesn't matter

1:19:24

what type of person your partner is. It doesn't

1:19:26

matter like it just having another human

1:19:28

being in the same apartment as you.

1:19:30

No, you can't.

1:19:31

It feels like a responsibility. Yes, you have to,

1:19:33

even if you're in the other room with the door closed. No, I still feel

1:19:36

now, I feel you over there, like I don't want to I don't want

1:19:38

to know. And it's not like the

1:19:40

person doesn't have to be the person could be the best

1:19:42

person to be around ever, So relaxing doesn't

1:19:44

ask anything of you. But it's like, no, I need

1:19:46

to be the only human I don't want to

1:19:48

have.

1:19:49

I don't want to think about you. I don't want to think about

1:19:51

anything.

1:19:51

Right, And it's not like you said, it's not like I'm doing this

1:19:53

to hurt your feelings or to reject you.

1:19:55

I'm doing it because this is just how I recharge.

1:19:58

Yeah, you put your mask on you first,

1:20:00

and then you can fucking address everything

1:20:02

else after that. Because people often say, like I just

1:20:04

love having someone to come home to.

1:20:06

I go, I've never gotten home.

1:20:08

That's like the worst part of a relationship, like coming

1:20:10

home to somebody. Yeah, I love

1:20:12

coming home to an empty house. Well, the thing is, I love

1:20:14

coming home to a dog. Though, Like my as

1:20:17

I'm approaching when when I'm getting off a plane where

1:20:19

I'm in the taxi home from JFK or whatever, and

1:20:21

I'm approaching my house, I literally get so excited

1:20:24

at the thought of like seeing my.

1:20:26

Dog, like I like or if he's at the like the

1:20:28

dog sitter's house.

1:20:29

Like I get a rush. I'll like run

1:20:31

to pick him up, like physically run. I

1:20:33

get so so excited. I've never

1:20:35

felt that way.

1:20:36

It's because the dog.

1:20:37

Yeah, they don't talk, they don't ask anythingish be

1:20:40

fed, and he's taken out. But I just don't need you

1:20:42

so excited. Well, he you know, he'll he'll do zoomis

1:20:44

when I show up.

1:20:45

It's time of mine is. Don't

1:20:48

if you have something that basically, if

1:20:50

you're going to pick a fight, do not do it. When I'm working,

1:20:53

do not do it. Don't disturb my

1:20:55

energy.

1:20:55

Yeah yeah, yeah, the.

1:20:56

Day the show, because maybe it needs something to you. But there's

1:20:58

five thousand people who ticket and let's

1:21:00

not fuck it up for them. Yeah, so everything needs

1:21:03

to wait till another time. But Rodrio

1:21:05

was super respectful and he's very

1:21:08

that's awesome.

1:21:08

That's nice.

1:21:09

That's a partner that gets it where you don't have to like explain

1:21:11

yourself, like that's so annoying. Well,

1:21:14

I think that we're wrapped up. That's the time we have. Would

1:21:17

you do you have anything? What would you like to promote?

1:21:18

I have a podcast with Nick Smith called I

1:21:21

Never Liked You. It's fifteen minutes and fifteen minutes

1:21:23

only because that's all we can bear with each other. And

1:21:25

it's on YouTube and anywhere you can get Spotify, uh,

1:21:27

Spotify, iTunes where we get.

1:21:29

Podcasts yay, and then go see

1:21:31

the tail live.

1:21:32

Yeah, material in comedy dot com. Well, thank

1:21:34

you so much for thanks with us.

1:21:36

You know you're busy, guys, very fun. Appreciate

1:21:38

it.

1:21:38

I had a lot of fun.

1:21:39

Thank you.

1:21:39

This has been Guys, we fucked the anti slut shreaming

1:21:41

podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday.

1:21:49

Guys, we Fucked is presented by Luminary.

1:21:52

Created and hosted by Karin Fisher and Christina

1:21:54

Hutchinson. Editing and music coordination

1:21:56

by Mike Cosparelli. Theme song by

1:21:59

Rob Patterson and Jake Cosin Stuck

1:22:01

my wet ass Pussy.

1:22:03

Christina SAIDs to cut that before, but now it's in

1:22:05

there. Yeah, let's keep it because.

1:22:14

If you see me old, then

1:22:18

I'm luck. You shall jot

1:22:20

You.

1:22:26

Don't kid.

1:22:33

Joy, Fine, you're

1:22:36

sleeping.

1:22:38

Got.

1:22:42

You cheating? Jumping

1:22:45

jack.

1:22:54

To the way, SI.

1:23:11

Still n

1:23:21

because lest.

1:23:35

The sun

1:24:00

Just you ta