0:00

You were now checked in to Stand Up

0:02

New York Labs. Oh

0:04

yeah, welcome to Guys

0:06

We Fucked Guys,

0:09

We Guys, we book Christina,

0:12

I'm correct, We're sorry about last night.

0:14

Coming to you from Stand Up New York

0:16

Lass Guys Anti

0:19

Sludge Shaming Podcast. I

0:21

never stopped. Hello,

0:26

every butty, Welcome to the latest episode

0:28

of Guys, We Fucking Anti

0:30

sludge Shaming Podcast. So

0:33

that was great, very insane. We're

0:35

so wish we were back in l a Yeah,

0:38

you know what, I was really high. It was so fun. When we

0:40

got on the plane, I was I was you know what I was.

0:43

I was drunk. I wasn't

0:45

we were drunk. Oh going back? Yeah No, no no, I

0:47

wasn't. I wasn't sick of l a Um.

0:50

But I was like happy to be going

0:53

home. You know. I missed Pinkerton really

0:55

And then I got here

0:58

and I sat on a bench eating an exild

1:01

rap against across from a guy who

1:03

just kept taking his dentures out, and I'm sucking

1:05

on the train. Everyone looks pissed that I'm

1:07

even like that. I even chose to be alive.

1:10

God forbid, I needed to bring a bag on it. And I

1:12

was out here. I was like, ship

1:15

never happened in l A. Everyone was

1:17

nice, they were happy,

1:20

they were they'd help you out. Yeah,

1:22

this guy lents our tape in the post office

1:24

when we get to go nail some pot

1:26

and whiskey and it's great. Um.

1:29

Yeah. I took the crosstown bus to get here, and

1:31

I was like, everyone's an asshole and

1:34

also just and they smell disgusting.

1:36

Yeah, physically grows. I don't.

1:38

I don't recall anyone being so fucking

1:40

disgusting. I didn't. I only we only saw one person

1:43

picking their nose in l A. Asian. Obviously,

1:45

please email be about that and try to say

1:47

that it's not sucking true as it is, so

1:49

go fuck yourself. I know a lot

1:51

of these like old Chinese guys are just

1:53

spitting spatting and girls

1:57

are running around picking their nose. The sucking

1:59

old Asian people love publicly picking

2:01

their noses. Fitting late. It's

2:03

a fact, yeah, because

2:05

we've seen it. I thank you so

2:07

much to everyone who came out to the show.

2:10

Ship amazing turnout

2:12

to the shows. Everyone

2:15

who came was awesome. Yeah,

2:17

and I liked. I love all of you. We're awesome,

2:19

You're hot, You bought a drinks, Like what nice

2:23

people, awesome people, you great

2:25

little fus. Yeah, we

2:27

miss a man. At first I was like,

2:29

oh no, I don't think I can let him. I'm like an

2:31

ark girl. And then and then by like day three, I'm like,

2:34

this place is panic. See that I've

2:36

been telling a three times every time I like it

2:38

more, which is such a problem. The

2:41

only the only problem is it's just I

2:43

don't like making a fucking theatrical

2:45

production any time I need to get

2:47

something. Yeah, like driving, Yeah

2:50

that was annoying, but

2:52

oh man, I'll take that over. The nice people

2:55

and that beautiful weather and the beaches.

2:57

Yeah, there wasn't

2:59

so many people this time, because like that was has been my

3:01

problem in the fat past, that everyone's so fake. There

3:03

were a couple of bars that I went in. I like the one

3:05

specifically where I wasn't even with you when I was with my friend,

3:08

and I was just like, everyone was just so fucking

3:11

fake. And also like one dressed like

3:13

Lana del Ray unless you're unless you

3:15

are Laana del Right, don't dress

3:17

like Laana del Right. One of the things that I kind

3:19

of knew was true, but like I really just extra noticed

3:22

that I guess was whenever you walk into a place, everyone

3:24

looks up God because they think it's somebody. The

3:26

last time I was in l A, it was just like comical,

3:29

how many huge celebrities like we I saw,

3:31

I went to a whole fe was I was like, well for old Jennifer

3:33

and like, this is a joke. We saw a ton of people

3:36

this time though, so we saw we were on Yeah, we were

3:38

in places where famous people well yeah, I mean

3:40

so yeah. We saw Carmen, Electra may

3:42

Ha Berry, Halle Berry,

3:45

God, damn, she's hot. We saw Electra

3:48

Rick Fox, oh

3:50

god, and my favorite Julian

3:53

Julil fucking White, my new husband. You

3:55

may know him from his work as Erkele

3:57

on Family Matters. That motherfucker I

3:59

helped Julia. I hope you're listening. We had a very

4:01

good time with you. I love you. I hope that's not too

4:04

soon. But Christina, Christina

4:07

could not stop talking about you. And then we also saw

4:09

Horatio Sans and Bill Hayter. But

4:14

I love Horatio like I'm just I just I fall

4:16

in love with everybody. Yeah that's a problem.

4:18

Yeah, um even

4:20

girl, Like I'm just like, I just love ones. I connect

4:23

with somebody and and and especially if they're

4:25

like a namy person and they're

4:27

not like arrogant, they're just like awesome, hard working,

4:30

really nice people. I just all fall in love with you.

4:32

And I Horatio was very

4:35

nice. He's one of my favorite people. And it's

4:37

super hard to win me over, but he won me over.

4:39

He did. He did. Um. We

4:41

even karaoke, yeah, and it

4:44

was so good and every thank you so much all the fuckers

4:47

who came out and for coming up to us and saying hi, that

4:49

that's it was so awesome to meet people listen

4:52

to the show. And we also almost died.

4:54

Oh we almost died coming

4:57

back from Horatios. So

4:59

he went me, wait, so you're going to visit all

5:01

right? So wait we're going We're getting

5:04

the car Christina somehow

5:06

Christina. First of all, Christie,

5:09

I never I never questioned when Christina says

5:11

we're gonna go visit a celebrity. I just say, Okay,

5:13

this is just another celebrity that Christina

5:16

knows. Christina just a friend celebrities. And that's fine

5:18

because I don't. I don't question anymore. But

5:20

we're so so we're I get

5:22

in the car with Christina, and we're

5:24

going to see who I think is her

5:27

friend, Horatio Sam

5:29

when he is my friend? All right, We fucking pull

5:32

up to the to I don't

5:34

like. I don't know if you've ever time scared,

5:37

but we pull into time Scare and

5:40

this is apparently where where he lives. We

5:42

get out of the car. I hear like k and

5:45

I I hear fucking coyotes in

5:47

the distance. There's

5:49

this. We're both like, oh,

5:52

this is scary. We're like up

5:55

going up this hill. And I

5:57

was like, you know this guy? Right, I'm like questioning.

6:00

I never really hung out? Yeah, and I

6:02

go creeping out, how do you? How

6:04

do you know this guy? I met him on the streets

6:06

And then she said he passed by her job

6:09

and wait wait when she lived

6:11

in when when she worked in as a receptionist

6:13

in a glass office, and then she tweeted

6:16

at him, we've been friends ever since. And then

6:18

and this is but never have hung out.

6:20

The front triple is real in my head, and

6:22

as I always benefited and I've

6:24

just always I don't know, I like him, and so

6:26

I just was like, well, we're gonna get murdered now.

6:29

And also like ho, Ratio shame on you fucking

6:31

giving your a dress out.

6:34

We actually talked about that when we were in karaoke. I was like

6:37

we talked about because I was like, I'm

6:39

so glad you're not a creeper like you could have been told

6:42

creeper. Was like, yeah, you could have been to a creeper too, and I was like,

6:44

I guess, so, yeah, no, I could

6:46

have been. I was like, you know, you have a boy, you know

6:48

you're here for work, and it's like,

6:50

I'm not creeped out like a ratio was a

6:52

creeper like that, I think I would

6:54

be like I was, actually I was just messing with you,

6:56

but I would be, you know, because people would find

6:58

out cebody. But like we

7:01

could have totally been creeper. We could have

7:03

been total creeper. Yeah. Um,

7:05

but it was the most we had, like the best

7:07

conversation I've ever had in my life. Like for three hour, I didn't

7:09

want to leave. I wanted to like spend the night. It

7:12

was so much fun. There was like helicopters looking

7:14

for bandits. Yeah I was spotlights

7:16

and I l a right and not by Horatio.

7:18

So then yeah, so then we get it. We get into the

7:20

car and

7:23

this is going home. This is going home. I had

7:25

some puffs of quid

7:27

and I smoked California wed and I really,

7:30

I really asked Christina, Christina,

7:33

aren't you okay to drive? Because I like

7:36

four puffs of weed? I

7:38

just want to say, why are you saying? I thought

7:40

people say, I don't know queed. I

7:42

love tired. It's

7:44

like Rihanna, I like pronouncing

7:46

things. Okay, Yes, I'm tired too. And

7:48

I also so tired. I also went

7:50

straight from the fucking Red Eye and

7:53

worked at the spot, and I've never Oh

7:56

you need people checking in. I'm like, oh, you

7:58

need a massage. I ain't a fucking

8:00

massage, bitch, Like

8:03

I'm rich. Can you not talk to me like that? Yeah?

8:05

I know, I'm really I'm really no one here. Once

8:07

again, I was back to be a no one.

8:11

So I don't even have a job. So

8:13

so Christina, so so we we we

8:15

we GPS at home and we

8:17

get to this fucking hill. It

8:20

was the hill. It

8:23

was so steep, you California people.

8:25

I don't know how the funk you do this. This tail

8:27

was so steep. I couldn't see the road.

8:30

I could just see the front, Like when I went to turn down

8:32

it, I couldn't see the road because that's

8:34

how Steve was. It was just like front of the car. It was like

8:36

Stuntman's free fall or whatever Captain man

8:38

do ride they have six funf

8:41

yeah, And I was like I can't. I can't go on this shr And

8:43

I was like and I was like, you can just go, just keep your foot

8:46

on the on the lately on the break. But I

8:48

couldn't. And it was the little high in

8:50

me. I was like, Nope, I still would

8:52

applyself in a situation where yeah,

8:55

I would potentially like freak the fun And that's

8:57

what I was afraid of because I was like, I wouldn't

8:59

freak out in that way. But also

9:01

I'm not high, so uh,

9:03

and I don't know what it's like to be highing. I imagine there is

9:05

some panic involved. I never get paramornd

9:08

panic, but when you put in dangerous situations,

9:10

which is the last thing a high person ever wants.

9:13

So I say, no problem, let's remap

9:15

and my my I'm going to get a lecture

9:17

email from my mother about this whatever? Um

9:20

why because maybe let me drive? Yeah,

9:23

sorry, I wasn't that high. I really

9:26

wasn't that's not what any mom wants to hear. Can

9:29

you imagine? How can you imagine what your

9:31

mom would do, what she would arrest

9:34

had me arrested? Um whatever, all's well,

9:36

that ends well as as as a great

9:38

man once said William Shakespeare.

9:41

Um so yeah, So then we reroup and

9:43

we go a different section. The GPS

9:45

brings us to a hill,

9:48

a similar hill, but this one. There's

9:51

a turn, this one, and it said it was a road.

9:53

Uh, turns out this road

9:56

is actually just so much drive away that you couldn't

9:58

turn around in. Yeah, you could to get out. It was like a multiple

10:01

car driveway. But once you get in,

10:03

you fucking have to be mcgiver.

10:05

The last thing a high person

10:07

wants to do is reverse back

10:10

up a hill that's also a ninety degree

10:12

angle that's also a one lane that's

10:14

also on a cliff that if you

10:16

get off that road you will fall down the cliff.

10:19

Yeah, our option was cliff, hit house,

10:21

hit other car, sleep there.

10:23

Yeah. Yeah, and I didn't.

10:26

I just couldn't. I was like, we

10:28

we, I can't do this, Christina, literally

10:30

still do it. I kind't want to drive off the cliff. I'm like

10:32

I do and I said, and I said, well, I'm not gonna

10:34

do it. I'm just like, because you have to be a

10:36

pretty expert driver to get out of this. So

10:40

Christina starts, I'm like, all right, let's just slowly

10:42

try to back up. So she slowly back it up

10:45

and I have I don't like to

10:47

yell when when in situations

10:49

where alarm is needed, because I feel like it

10:51

makes people freak out more. So

10:54

I see, I'm in the passenger seat,

10:56

and I see that we are going to knock

10:59

down this recycling garbage

11:01

can that is next to the house. So

11:03

as as slowly hitting it, I got Christina,

11:06

we gonna hit that, so it hits it whatever

11:08

it falls, just it doesn't even

11:10

that bad. No, no, no, we're on a cliff.

11:12

You also thought the mirror broke off, and I was like, no, no,

11:15

we're having to drum a modern cars just

11:17

a retractable mirror. So that's great. Uh.

11:19

But then I thought I was just going to fall

11:21

down like a little bit. But it kept

11:24

it kept falling, and it was filled with glass

11:26

like this person whatever, They only

11:29

drink drinks out of glass. The only drink

11:31

fine Italian soda. Yeah,

11:33

it was real obnoxious, so it's minds you two

11:36

in the morning in l a, which, as someone nice

11:38

to explained to us, is like five in the morning in New York.

11:40

It's true. It was a fucking Tuesday,

11:43

right, it was a Tuesday night. We're in

11:45

front of someone's house. It was their driveway.

11:47

Yeah, and the the trash can filled

11:50

with glass just kept falling, falling and

11:52

falling, and the glass

11:54

was shattering and shot and it was for

11:57

like an acme and fall because

11:59

I was like, this is fucking Joe, because

12:02

well, her front yard is in a quarry. It turns

12:04

out and you have to go down these steep, steep steps

12:07

that the trash can fell down. Yeah, So I

12:09

don't know what to do. I mean obviously, like I was like

12:11

I wanted to pick it up, but I also don't want to

12:13

then trespass on someone's property.

12:15

And I just looked at each other as it was falling

12:18

or like is it gonna stop? It's didn't

12:21

stop, and I'm now I'm trapped

12:23

in the car because if I opened the door, I'm just gonna cliff

12:27

and also knocked the other trash can. Now I

12:29

see you know, I don't think you saw this, but I saw

12:31

someone open the blinds a little bit, and I was like,

12:33

oh, great, the coppor

12:36

we gotta gil cops are coming. Our car

12:38

stuck and fucking Christina is high and they're gonna know.

12:41

Um. So that's what I was thinking. I was just like, well, you

12:43

know what, we're just gonna go to jail and hopefully this

12:45

will be a great story to tell in stand up like I had I

12:47

had come to chance with it in my mind, I was

12:49

like, this is fine, I'm not high, Like what what we're gonna

12:51

do? Um and

12:53

uh and then so then a

12:56

very very angry,

12:58

hungry actress so

13:01

exits exit stage right apartment

13:04

Uh and uh

13:06

Christine, you had gotten out of the car at that point,

13:09

right, Well, yeah, because I just wanted to assess, to

13:11

assess the situation in the car, to see

13:13

like how farther I could back up, because I was not taking

13:16

risks and driving us off a cliff. Right. I knew

13:18

I was high, but I appreciate that. I was

13:20

like, not like the foul figure out, like

13:22

I need to be very careful. Yeah, we wan't

13:24

afford focused. So this is like we could have just fallen

13:26

down the cliff and gotten now, or we could the car could

13:28

have flipped and we could have died exactly. That's

13:31

some important ship to do, so I'm not sure how that

13:33

would have ended. Um. And then I was like, call hor

13:35

Ratio. Maybe coure like,

13:37

no, Horatio as high as fun. I'm

13:39

sorry, Horatio, but I don't think it's a mystery that you smoke

13:42

weight. I don't think anyone who knows you was like, oh,

13:45

I do declare. Um,

13:47

so it just comes out starts flipping

13:50

the funk out on Christie. I'm

13:52

like, okay, I gotta make this chick feel as bad for me

13:54

as possible. And I was like, I live in real

13:56

a minute, and I'm so sorry I don't

13:58

drive, and I'm so sorry, and she goes, you're

14:01

just First of all, she was like, you're just gonna knock over

14:04

someone's recycling and then leave. Wow.

14:06

And then she starts instagramming her license plate and

14:08

I was like, at least tag me in a bit, like what are you doing?

14:11

And then she continues to yell. I continue

14:13

to like try and get her sympathy, and

14:16

she was like, I'm gonna walk inside and when I come

14:18

back out, this fucking better. We cleaned up and I

14:20

was like when you go inside, can you like eat like like a

14:23

million And then I was like, and the Emmy

14:25

goes really

14:34

and I told her. I was like, yo, I would be PISSI

14:36

if I are you too? This sucks. I'm so sorry.

14:38

Oh yeah, I felt horrible, and so she

14:40

and I go. I had to go down these steep steps to

14:42

the bottom of this hill where the trash camp fell and their shards

14:45

of glass, and I'm like scooping up shards

14:47

glass and put them in the trash. It was a very

14:49

dramatic scene. And if I didn't it wasn't so

14:52

worried that we were never going to make it out alive. I

14:54

would have taken video of it and

14:57

introspect. I'm sorry that I did. I wish

14:59

you did. I did one at the time that was horrif. Yeah,

15:01

I didn't want to really and then it was actually

15:03

very well, you were very upset. She's wearing

15:05

a flor lence sunflower dress. It

15:07

was very yeah, it was it was.

15:10

It was a scene. Yeah, But the whole time

15:12

I was thinking, thank God this is Christina, because I would

15:14

have just started to fight with the wo oh yeah,

15:16

I was. I felt so horrible And then she came out again,

15:18

and she was like a different person. She was like, I just want

15:20

to say I'm very sorry for freaking out.

15:24

Yeah, she like went in and like z ended out for a seconds,

15:27

like this is just this happens to us all the time,

15:29

which makes sense because our GP has let us down

15:31

there and it was awful. And so

15:33

then her boyfriend had to get up and

15:35

come and back our car out, which also took like an

15:37

hour because he couldn't do it either. Yeah, but he

15:39

was so chill, like I was. I

15:41

apologized to him the car because I was number

15:44

one, felt bad that he was dating her number

15:47

two. Yeah, she was shee

15:50

what I like to call a handful and

15:54

yeah, and he was so nice but also not great

15:56

at driving, and I was like, no, I'm going to die with

15:58

someone. So him try

16:00

and back up the car out of the driveway because

16:03

I guess he was backs into the driveway. He

16:05

never backs out of the drive This is something we know about

16:07

him. I don't know his name, but we do know how he's probably

16:09

Trevor or something and

16:11

um, but then when he went to back out, I was like,

16:13

um, can you not? You gotta stop? He almost rolled

16:16

the car off the cliff and which I didn't

16:18

know until after. Oh my god, I was like

16:20

freaking out, like what are you doing? And then so

16:22

we had to turn the car around and eventually save us. So

16:24

thank you, Craig or Trevor or Darren or

16:26

whatever the funk your name is. Yeah, I really appreciate

16:29

that. It was great. That was really nice. We lived

16:31

and it was very and I kind of was like, I was like, funk,

16:33

a man had to save the day. Well, that's

16:35

the other thing. I felt like, don't you think

16:38

that when we can't drive in our heads because I'm just very

16:40

high, okay, and you know I

16:43

think otherwise I'm a pretty decent driver.

16:45

Yeah, it wasn't it was. That was the only

16:47

you know, that was pretty bad, and

16:50

it was. It was just kind of a bummer because it was such

16:52

a great day. But then, you know what, it ended up being a great story

16:54

that led us into other things. So yeah, yeah, it

16:56

was all good. You know what, any any story, no matter how

16:59

horrific, is almost like live through it and

17:01

no one touches my vagina inappropriate

17:03

way because that always ruins a night,

17:05

you know, and an inappropriate vagina touch can

17:08

ruin a lifetime really really exactly

17:10

can definitely ruin a night. Absolutely absolutely

17:14

it was great. Guys. Um,

17:16

I don't know if that's it. Uh, do you have anything else

17:18

to say regarding Los Angele leave. I

17:21

just miss it so much. I want to be back in the Santa

17:23

Monica beach everyone. I just so everyone's

17:26

in the bathing because it all the time and they're sweating and the roller

17:28

blading and they're like cool and

17:31

it is better than here. I

17:33

mean maybe I'm a little jaded, but coming back

17:35

here angry, gross, disgusting

17:38

people. New York is so cooler, but I

17:40

felt more fabulous and l oh, it

17:42

was very fabulous. Yeah, I miss

17:44

it. I miss it. Yeah. So now

17:47

we're back in New York and if you wanna, um,

17:50

I do wanna hear us up? I

17:52

do want to promo showing

17:54

New York guys

17:57

not know. Um. Nacho

17:59

Bitch Is Part two is happening

18:02

on Friday, August nine at eleven pm

18:04

at your comedy club. Free

18:07

nachos. Uh. Blair

18:10

Sacky who I talked about the last

18:13

name rong this whole time. I was saying so chey.

18:15

Yeah, I know a lot of people say it wrong. You could just have to remember

18:18

sucky so much better, Blair. It's

18:20

so easy because it's alcohol related. For

18:22

me, that's exactly what I never possibly

18:25

ever Blair, sucky, bum sucking forget

18:27

it. Um, So that's gonna be happening.

18:30

And uh, well we'll be Christina

18:32

and I will be around and we'll keep you updated

18:34

on the social media. Hopefully we'll be back

18:36

in l a um and we'll let you know sooner rather

18:38

than later. Yeah. Absolutely, So let's

18:41

bring on this week's guest.

18:44

He's a comedian. He's a fabulous person.

18:46

He's a conspiracy theory theorist.

18:48

We've both um drunkenly sat

18:51

on his lap, yes, and we'll talk about

18:53

that more later and then. And he's also

18:56

our brother on the stand up New York Labs

18:58

network. He has a wonderful podcast called

19:01

Deep Inside the rabbit Hole. It would

19:03

be funny if there's someone made a sister podcast. I

19:05

was like, Deep inside the Butthole. You

19:08

can take that ideam round with it, guys. I'm

19:11

just saying that's my gift to you.

19:13

Well, working at a Ladies and Gentlemen. Our

19:15

guest, my Mike Canon. We

19:24

got more bouncy California

19:27

y'all come back. I'm all bouncing

19:29

Califone party all

19:32

the time. I'm all bouncing California.

19:36

Let all resign. I'm more bouncy

19:38

Califonia and easy when

19:41

we're right. Excuse me for

19:43

a while, but it's time of copy

19:45

gate. I'm coming from the

19:47

land with the sea, and we're here with Mike

19:50

Cannon. Cannon, all

19:53

right, I'm only look up hereents

19:56

two different human beings right above my elbows,

19:58

where the real me starts. That's

20:01

the real you. Just a pale, sad person,

20:03

just an Irish bag of milk. The

20:06

thing about you, Mike, is the more you try to make

20:08

yourself not perfect, the more the more perfect.

20:11

I don't get where where did this start? Because I thought

20:13

you guys were fucking with me. No, no, no, I

20:15

want to congratulate. Gonna start this interview by

20:17

congratulating you because you

20:19

don't know this well. You might. We might have told you what

20:21

we were. I feel like we did. But you are the

20:24

only fucking living person

20:26

that Christina and I both would

20:29

would have sex with. Okay, you

20:32

guys, Can Washington

20:34

obviously, George Washington, powerful

20:38

point books, try to ungay, James Dean,

20:40

you know there's a couple of people. Obviously,

20:44

I'm just now learning this. That's very said. Jameson's

20:47

lawyer. Can send me any hate mail or

20:50

problems at a corn Fisher Comedy at

20:52

gmail dot com anyway. So, yes,

20:54

Christina, I we don't agree on

20:56

any dudes. Well, I was

20:58

gonna say, do we know and need to We don't agree

21:00

on anything and much

21:03

hate each other time, and I

21:06

was fine. I'm

21:08

serious. That sounded like it was not fine, but it was

21:10

fine. It was actually the best. It was great. Um,

21:13

we would both fuck you. That's so interesting

21:15

because that actually makes me feel like then

21:17

I just have like kind of this generic face. That's

21:20

something Karin would say. That's so something

21:23

because whenever someone liked the both of us, you're

21:25

like, no, you just fucking like anyone with a

21:28

pussy angry. It makes me

21:30

feel like my face stands for nothing, like like

21:32

I wish it took it took a position.

21:35

So I think that just means you're all around

21:37

perfect, so population of humble.

21:40

Yeah, well what are you going to do? You're

21:42

like just enough of a dick, you

21:45

know that. I'm like, keep me on my toes

21:47

a little bit, Okay, I'm

21:49

like behind closed doors, I'm probably more of

21:51

a dick than I am outwardly. Also, like the comedy

21:54

community in general hasn't like full forceen

21:56

my drinking problem because

21:59

we all have Oh I can't tell, do you have a drink? Not

22:01

not like not officially, but I mean, you

22:03

know, because here's a social

22:05

media thing where you have like a hangover day

22:08

that you would celebrate, right that was I

22:12

used to do that, yeah, when when fine was

22:14

in vogue. Yeah, I used

22:16

to do that. But I just like, like, I'll

22:18

get to a point drunk around comedians socially,

22:21

and then I will go home and finish off the

22:23

evening to the point where it's not like I'm

22:25

violently crying in my apartment. I just

22:28

drink until I fall asleep. How

22:30

much do you drink when you get home? I

22:32

mean, you know, I'll have like a glass or two of whiskey

22:35

on top of the fifteen drinks that I drank out

22:37

socially, and then and then comes the pot,

22:39

you know, so it kind of really

22:42

yeah, I finished with with with quite

22:44

the encore, like it's a big

22:46

firework. Okay, But

22:49

do you ever wake up in the morning and drink whiskey?

22:52

Not whiskey. But yesterday so

22:55

I had I had a show on Tuesday that ended pretty

22:58

late, and I got I got pretty drunk, and then

23:00

I yesterday morning, I coached little

23:02

children playing soccer, so I was breathing

23:04

vodka in their faces. Got through the

23:07

entire four hour thing, and then

23:09

afterwards, I fucking I pulled the

23:11

trigger in a in a porta potty

23:13

and then went home and drank to vodka

23:16

drinks just to make myself feel at ease, and

23:18

then went to sleep for three hours. The

23:21

children part and I was like, like, Candy,

23:24

now he dies because his hair, the hair the dog.

23:27

As they say, if you are really hungover,

23:29

the only thing that's going to help you is drinking the

23:31

same alcohol that you got drunk. Yeah, and

23:34

it's and it feels so disgusting because

23:36

you know, you're like, all the smell of this makes me sick.

23:38

But if you just have a shot of it, it really

23:41

I should try it. You have to really stuck it up. It

23:43

makes you feel better. Twisted teas are almost

23:45

the perfect breakfast drink, like I love Okay,

23:48

I'm a big bloody Mary fan. I love those.

23:50

But if I wake up and especially if I'm like on

23:52

a weekend like where it's It's It's on,

23:55

I will I will wake up and and have some twisted

23:57

tease with my friends before the festivity

24:00

to begin. Do you ever see yourself as one of those

24:02

comics are like sober? Now? So you

24:04

guys, because when

24:06

we had we had Joe Rosa and he's like, you know, fucking

24:08

all these people are sucking sober and he's like, I

24:11

know people that actually should be sober, but some people

24:13

like, let's just get ways that in party where

24:15

But where's the fun in the rage? Right? Yeah?

24:17

No, I have too much fun doing it. I think like drinking

24:20

so fun. Yeah, there are times when I think I need

24:22

to scale back, and I do you know when when

24:24

I'm like, all right, I've been drinking a little too much group

24:27

yet And it's mostly vanity based because

24:29

if I look in the mirror, yeah, and I look like a hound

24:31

dog that just had a stroke, then I'll just be like, all right,

24:33

I think, let's let's can't

24:36

open you look like a best in

24:38

Show hound canon every

24:41

day. He's still probably beautiful. You'd

24:43

be surprised. I look, I look real brutal in

24:45

the morning after after you're like kind

24:47

and I think it's also because Christina, you like more

24:49

of like a clean cut guy. I like a dirty

24:52

guy, so that you have that because it's like the beard

24:54

is like dirty and you have some

24:59

I love that. Okay, Well, I'm getting to make

25:01

you uncomfortable because

25:04

about this before, and I'm like, is that weird still?

25:07

Because it's it's almost as if you're talking to

25:09

another person, like I don't necessarily believe

25:11

it. It's very nice. It's nice that

25:15

he doesn't exactly like a

25:17

good comedian. I think that's it because it's

25:19

really flattering and it's nice. It's like it's

25:21

almost like an instant spike of self esteem and then

25:23

it goes away really quickly. Yeah, any

25:27

self worth dissipates pretty pretty

25:29

rapid. Have you always had that? Yeah? But

25:31

actually I had too much self worth when I was a kid,

25:33

and then I started smoking pot and doing mushrooms and

25:35

realized where I stood in the world. You

25:39

know, Yeah, I gained some perspective.

25:41

Good, how long you have a girlfriend that

25:43

you've been dating for hundred years? For one hundred

25:46

years, you guys look great for your age, by

25:48

the way. Appreciate it. Yeah. Now we've

25:51

consistently we've been dating for six and a half

25:53

years without a stop, and but we

25:56

had, you know, on and off since we were literally ten

25:58

years old, your neighbors, that whole, that

26:00

whole dustin and joey thing, Oh my goodness,

26:03

and you you. I was gonna ask,

26:05

my instinct doesn't ask do you still have sex?

26:08

Which is a oh my god, there's

26:10

a dumb question. Because she's

26:12

beautiful. I've met her once before. She's super cute.

26:15

And but you had

26:17

a period though in between the before

26:20

the six months of consistent six and a

26:22

half years. Yeah, you rage.

26:25

I mean, we've each dated other people, like,

26:27

it's not one of those insane things where we don't know

26:30

what else is out in the entire world, so we're just clinging

26:32

each other to each other. And this once

26:34

at a show, I was like, so, wait, you haven't

26:36

had sex with anyone in fifteen years, and you're right, no, no, no, no,

26:39

I've had sex with other people, and

26:42

as as has she, I would not I would not want

26:44

to date her if I was the only person that she's

26:46

had sex with. It would make me uncomfortable. It would

26:48

also make me be, you know, feel like, oh, eventually

26:51

she's gonna wonder if there's other dicks

26:53

that look different than mine. And it's like,

26:55

you know, I'm glad she has a sample platter

26:58

and she you know, she even came back to me for

27:00

a black guy, and I'm still filling our own feel

27:03

what a romantic Do you have a big dick?

27:06

I don't know. It's I think it's okay,

27:08

you know, I know, I mean it's

27:10

not small, because I feel like a guy a small dick, he'd

27:13

be like, well, go with my hands. No, it's not small.

27:15

But I mean I have I have a couple couple

27:17

of friends with like a thick cut of beef. So it's

27:19

like it's tough to kind of gauge and also be

27:22

though. I mean just yeah, it just

27:24

looks it looks human, and I'm I'm

27:26

like six ft six one, so me looking down

27:29

on it isn't the best vantage point, you

27:31

know what I mean, Like, I look good in a mirror to myself,

27:33

but when I look down, I'm like, well, that's that's

27:36

nothing to write home to, all right.

27:38

It's just so amazing amazes me sometimes

27:40

because I when you live with a significant other, you

27:42

just see, you know, you're a lot of times you're naked all

27:44

the time and in non sexy ways,

27:46

and you're just like naked watching TV or whatever. What

27:50

you know, I don't know something you do

27:53

sound something sometimes in the morning,

27:55

you know, I gotta buy sleep naked and just walk

27:58

around and you do ship naked, pour bowl

28:00

cereal naked sometimes. You know,

28:03

I do that all the time when I'm by myself. Now I wouldn't.

28:05

I just know I would do it in an a broad

28:08

underwear. Not You'm uncomfortable, but I think

28:10

it's like kind of strange. Do

28:12

you do that? You know, I'm not I'm not much of a naked guy.

28:14

Like I'll do it for brief stints, but I'm like, I'm

28:16

almost like a cheetah naked. Like I'll do it just

28:19

really quickly, and then I'll kind of get tired of myself.

28:21

So I like, I if I catch

28:23

myself in a mirror too many times, I can't do it.

28:26

And you know, but every once in a while, like in

28:28

my hotel recently, I walked around

28:30

for I was like, wow,

28:32

this is this is the longest I've been in

28:35

a while. But I used to smoke pot naked and I

28:37

burned my chest hair, so I stopped Okay,

28:40

I don't like to sit on like communal furniture.

28:43

I don't sit on yeah, I don't. Usually I just

28:45

walk around naked and stuff bad naked.

28:48

But like, it just amazes me how big

28:50

a penis can grow because

28:52

they're so tiny when they're not really

28:55

terrible. It depends on who. It depends on who

28:57

you're talking to, though, because there are Yeah, I have friends

28:59

that are like really impressive soft and

29:02

then it's like it's good hard.

29:04

I've seen you know, growers and shower

29:07

as they say. Well, I remember as a kid, I used to see,

29:09

you know, you go need those museums and you see those naked

29:12

man Greek statues and the penis

29:14

is like because

29:18

apparently they were into fucking little boys

29:20

and that's what was sexy for them. Yeah, so

29:22

they would then score. Is that a fact? Are gonna

29:24

get letters about that cannon? That is a fact?

29:26

Right? Our producer just confirmed it. I would

29:28

love to. Oh my god, we really should have someone

29:31

like on the internet who can like just say

29:33

yes or notice. I

29:36

mean, there's yeah, there's not much more to it pretty

29:39

much, but a lot of guys when they're like most

29:41

guys that I've dated, when they're flaccid. I

29:43

mean, and I never see guys like flaccid naked

29:46

dick all the time unless I'm in a relationship with um.

29:49

But it's a little it's not even

29:51

the size for me. It's just like how floppy

29:54

it is. I don't like that I've

29:57

been flopping around. I just think it's magical

29:59

you have, so you have a more whimsical view

30:02

of the anatomy and of

30:04

humans and also of sex that I do. I'm

30:07

very serious and like aggressive about

30:09

it. I don't want to see anything

30:12

that I you just want to show, pony, Yeah

30:14

you don't. You don't want I don't

30:16

want to know that you pope. I don't want to hear you far

30:19

and I will do the same for you. And that's

30:21

why I don't fucking I just say by

30:23

myself. Yeah, I mean, a soft dick is almost

30:25

like like fishing bait, Like there's

30:27

no like it's like noner, it's

30:29

like a gooey I don't know, it's just it's

30:32

so interesting because it's so not the

30:35

nice hard cock that you say when you're fucking

30:37

a guy, you know what I mean, Like it's hard

30:40

cock is just so beautiful, like it

30:42

is it really, Why is there admit

30:45

that all girls think of dick is ugly? No, but

30:50

no, I was like, so when I was like making out

30:53

this dude on the street the other day and like he's

30:55

like, this is I even did too much on the street.

30:57

I met him on the standpoint and its dick was

30:59

like coming at the top of his pants and it

31:02

was like hard and like readjust because of just walking

31:04

around like a ruction and it was just like

31:06

peeking and I was just like, this is so freaking

31:08

beautiful. There was there was a photo

31:10

series of just guys like dressed well but

31:13

shot by fashion photographer. They just had hard cocks

31:15

in their pants. And that's one of the hottest

31:17

things I've ever seen. I love that. I

31:20

like public displays of fucory,

31:22

though, Like I I got blown in the street once

31:24

during a high school party in

31:28

a yard, no, and like it was like a back

31:30

it was a back road, so u so

31:33

you know, it was in the middle of the street. And it was funny

31:35

too because she was like, this girl was friends with one

31:37

of my buddy's girlfriends and I'm

31:39

from Rockland County. Yeah, so and at

31:42

that moment, my buddy's girlfriend

31:44

was saying, you know, I really feel like your friends don't

31:46

respect my friends. And then it goes, why

31:48

don't you take a look forty five degrees that

31:50

way? And I just started pumping my fist

31:53

as her friends just taking like

32:00

eyes can come anywhere? Yeah,

32:02

I can't. I've never you know what this is true? I've never

32:04

masturbated successfully in the shower. Why

32:07

never. I can't do it. I can't do it standing.

32:10

I need like thrust

32:12

upward like I can't. I can't stand

32:15

it, like that Kevin Spacey scene in American

32:17

Beauty when he's all hunched over and just

32:19

beating a sad middle aged dick like

32:22

I can't. I can't do it. I

32:24

mean maybe if I didn't, if I went as long as

32:26

he did without having sex, I could do it. But well,

32:28

there's also that scene in Girls where Marnie goes

32:30

expasses up to the bathroom to Master and she stands

32:33

against the door, And that's the same thing, because I don't really recall

32:35

ever Master being standing up because my legs

32:37

shake. I can't come standing up because my legs

32:40

give out because they're like

32:43

a baby giraffe. Yeah, like

32:45

a fall on trying to walk I'm like, I can't. Yeah,

32:48

I can't ever come standing up and ever if I ever

32:50

do, Steven as to like catch me y,

32:55

Yeah, I've I've someone made me, someone

32:58

fingered me. Had a concert one who

33:01

was the artist? Friend? Um, it was like a German

33:04

rock band. Yes,

33:07

I don't know. It's just one of those ones where you're like, I'll

33:09

go, but I don't really know. I

33:12

was there for the fingering in the beer, not so

33:15

much music, much like most

33:17

German rock concerts, right,

33:20

Christina, can I ask you this? So you've been in your relationship

33:22

for quite a long time, as they gotten to the point

33:24

where you like inspect

33:26

each other's genitalia is like almost at a scientific

33:29

level, like where it's it's not there's nothing sexual

33:31

about it, and I just like play with it, yeah,

33:34

because that's what that's what Nicole does to me. Like

33:36

every once in a while, she'll just kind of be like, what is happening

33:39

here? Because I'm like, I guess I should really know

33:41

what's going on around here. I'm like, these

33:44

balls, these balls are attached a lot higher than

33:46

I saw, right. I mean, she's probably seen

33:48

spots of my dick that I've never been able to

33:50

like like, oh, I almost just did,

33:52

like a Sea Lee from Colored Purple reference

33:54

where she just looked at the mirror upside

33:57

down, And by almost, I mean I just did,

33:59

like yeah, but you know I've never yeah,

34:03

of course, yeah. I mean that's the thing because I'm I'm

34:06

interested. I mean that that fucking snotty

34:09

locust that you girls call it vagina so

34:11

you love pussy, yeah, I love it? But

34:16

does but does know having this kind

34:19

of scientific view of the others general

34:21

because my first boyfriend I did it for

34:23

five years and the same thing with me, but

34:25

that caused me to not be suctually attracted

34:27

to him anymore. You

34:29

looking at his dick just just like

34:32

it also looking at like it's just not I don't know,

34:34

it's just like it's interesting though, because it's secret.

34:36

Like Dan Savage talks about that, he's like you, He's

34:39

like, it's okay for your you

34:41

to have like have your partner to have kind

34:43

of a fairy tale like view of you.

34:46

And I thought that was such a nice way to put it, because

34:48

you put on your best self meet

34:51

somebody and it's like sometimes that

34:53

phase and you're just like a fat piece of ship, lazy

34:56

and you don't care and you don't try, and then that's when

34:58

the romance just dies. Yeah, but I do

35:00

that with Steven and I definitely do that for each other. I mean

35:02

we don't. It's funny because when I have sex, that is

35:05

the only time in my life where I'm so serious.

35:07

I am not. I don't laugh, I don't smile.

35:09

I'm like, we are fucking and that's the only

35:11

time in my life barely enjoying it. Face something.

35:14

Now I really enjoy it, but I'm like, this is serious

35:17

time. We don't laugh and smile. I hate I

35:19

cannot have stress enough how much

35:22

I hate laughing. Laughing

35:25

doesn't turn me on. I like someone

35:27

with a sense of humor. But during sex,

35:29

it's like we are fucking right well, because that could

35:31

throw the entire event off. Like

35:34

if you just like crack a joke, that girl could

35:36

just dry up real quick. You know, Yeah,

35:39

of course bad, even if

35:41

it's good, she's laughing too hard. That sex isn't

35:43

even an option because your brain, especially

35:46

with women, it's like we need to be so focused,

35:49

you know what I mean, And if you distract me and talk about

35:51

something that I bought at the mall, the other fu

35:54

you now I'm thinking about that. That's that's what. That's an amazing

35:56

thing. Like I could come in the middle of the Ferguson

35:59

fucking protest, like you

36:02

guys have to have tunnel vision, Like it's

36:05

very difficult. I wonder why that is, well,

36:08

because I feel like a lot more has to happen for

36:11

you guys. Yeah, well, I don't even know if he's

36:13

a concentrate to calm though, you

36:15

have to concentrate on thinking about something worre

36:17

can you just can it be like, oh, just a more

36:19

physical thing, because I feel like girls is mental.

36:22

Yeah, I mean it's mostly physical. And

36:24

I think that's because it's an appendage. The

36:27

fact that you are allowing another human being inside

36:29

of you is so vulnerable and so something

36:31

I can't even fathom that. You know,

36:33

I almost you know, I want to give you a round of applause, But

36:35

the fact is it's an appendage for us.

36:38

So it's it's an external sensation

36:40

that is just like, well, yeah, this is just how

36:42

it feels. I always wondered if, like,

36:45

especially in the days where the gender inequality

36:47

was at its highest, if it was if

36:49

it ever sparked in some way

36:52

because guys insert themselves into

36:54

women. I wondered if that had anything

36:56

to do with it. Well, that's kind of why. I think

36:59

it's part than that this show is called Guys we

37:01

fucked. That's like because it's guys

37:04

that sucked us. Well, yeah, usually I think I feel

37:06

like that's a term that guys say this

37:08

chicken. Girls are never like this,

37:11

dude except for us. Um,

37:14

but that you know that was purposeful because

37:17

it is you guys taken the N word. Yeah. Yeah,

37:19

Well it's like something being done to because

37:22

for so long I think sex has been something that has

37:24

been been being done to women

37:27

instead of something that you're

37:29

doing together or that when we were doing to men,

37:31

which is equally to you, girls are like heterosexual

37:34

power bottoms. Like that's what that's

37:36

what's good is you're receiving, but you're dictating,

37:39

right exactly. I love it? Do you? And it called

37:41

it a lot of anal No, we don't at all? Do

37:43

you want to? Um? I mean no,

37:48

Have I done it with a human being? Yeah, like with

37:50

her, not with her so interesting

37:53

basically with animals but tears. Yeah,

37:56

no, We've I've definitely done it with a human

37:58

being. Not too much it's not something that typically

38:00

interested and

38:03

stuff. No, that doesn't even bother me. It's just the

38:05

vagina feels so good that I

38:08

did it. I got the story and I got you

38:10

know, I got it done. And it was second

38:13

place to it was third place actually, because

38:15

it goes yeah ass,

38:18

and the is a fine substitute

38:20

if all other you know, holes are sealed shut.

38:22

But you'd rather go for of course,

38:24

yeah, I'd rather go for the vagina over mouth. Like

38:26

I I enjoy putting in the work than just

38:29

laying there because I feel I feel insecure

38:31

when I'm getting a blowjob, like I feel

38:33

I feel guilty that they're putting

38:35

in all the work and I'm just sitting there receiving

38:38

it like a fat nothing. When you were so when

38:40

you were fist pumping in high school, did

38:42

you feel guilty? I

38:44

guess it's only when it's somebody I care about, boy

38:49

and a different it was a different person. I

38:51

never give blow jobs to people

38:54

who I'm not like in a serious relationship because

38:56

right, because of what fucking my Canada said, right

38:58

and justifiably so, I wouldn't down

39:00

on somebody that I was just hooking up. More estimate

39:02

you got Isaac went down on you and

39:04

then you fell asleep. He

39:07

fell asleep in it. Karin fell asleep. She's like,

39:09

all right, I dudd him. Yeah,

39:11

like I just, I just. I made

39:14

him order me starburst from a bodega. He

39:16

ate me out and then I fell asleep. To Kesha, that's

39:18

pretty fair. That sounds like a fantastic knight for

39:20

myself. I've only fallen asleep once during a

39:23

blow job, and it was it was kind of like I was.

39:25

I was being I mean, I came and there was

39:27

all asleep. I didn't. I

39:30

get exhausted after I come, nothing else can

39:32

be done. That's all right, you're like a dude.

39:35

Yeah, that's You're just a male lion.

39:37

Just and then you're done. I

39:39

wish everyone could see. It

39:42

was very bloated, yeah, release,

39:46

but yeah, I in college. I mean if

39:48

this, if I was a woman in this situation, it would be

39:50

considered date rape. But the fact is it was consensual

39:53

initially. But I was black. I didn't

39:55

drink until I was like so,

39:57

I had like three liters of wine

39:59

going out and then proceeded to drink

40:02

and I I hooked up with this girl named

40:04

Rajone. She was a black girl. We actually

40:06

called her Rajone. Toblarone was

40:11

also she was also a giant woman, like she

40:14

was six two pounds of

40:16

like solid muscle, like she looked like a full

40:18

athlete. And I bumped into her

40:20

at a party and just wasn't it

40:23

wasn't sure, and she like dragged me across the courtyard

40:25

and I like kind of came

40:27

to in her in her room and she was

40:29

blowing me, and that is

40:32

I mean, is that but

40:35

I don't know, but I I you

40:37

were like accept responsibility for putting myself

40:39

in that situation and also agreeing to it

40:41

initially, right, right, So that

40:44

that was just you like kind of like blacking

40:46

out a little bit in the middle. But then yeah, I mean, but

40:49

but it's so funny because like I went home somewhere

40:51

there's a tape that exists unless somebody, unless

40:54

somebody taped over it that had me like bragging

40:56

about the whole situation like hardcore

40:59

black out drum be like shut it on it

41:01

like just like and

41:04

then somebody like table tapped me to end

41:06

the video. Oh my god, did

41:09

you when you were single? Did

41:11

you a ton of girls? Yeah? Yeah, good

41:13

amount? Yeah for sure? What is the did

41:15

you anything crazier? Did the girls do anything crazy? I

41:18

mean, there's always craziness involved.

41:20

I did um. I had another serious

41:22

girlfriend that I dated for a long time and that that ended

41:25

in the most immature, ugly way. What period

41:27

was this? Like Nicole and I didn't date for

41:29

four years, but we would always come

41:32

back and hook up with each other, like whenever when

41:34

I even like, we never went a year without

41:36

hooking up with each other, and we would always have a

41:38

period of time where we would hook up and then kind

41:40

of dispersed to our significant others, and we always

41:43

thought we would never date again. And

41:45

it just so happened that the Giants beat the Patriots

41:47

and ended their perfect season, and we were like, I think

41:49

this is real, and that's how our

41:51

relationship begins. But

41:54

I mean, you know, like my my last

41:56

relationship before her ended horrifically

41:58

in the most immature way postable, and

42:01

I to get back at her, not

42:03

not even that she did anything wrong, but I fucked her

42:05

best friend on the hood of my car. So that

42:07

was find out that that girl find

42:10

out. I don't know, I think her she's still friends with the

42:12

grounds, like something I would do, like I've done that before.

42:14

That's and then I was in a relationship because of it for

42:16

three years. See yeah,

42:18

no, I I never I ended up sleeping with that

42:20

girl again too, But like I think she only told

42:23

my previous girlfriend that we made out or

42:25

something. But how did it end maturely

42:28

with the one of the girlfriends. It ended because

42:30

she went away to college. I was still home,

42:33

going to community college, playing basketball

42:35

and kind of like, you know, saving my parents money and

42:37

dealing with their divorce and everything that

42:39

was happening at the same time. And she

42:42

went to Syracuse and became everything that

42:44

she initially hated and said,

42:46

you know, the prissy girl

42:48

who dreaded you know whatever, I'm exactly

42:51

and like, you know, started drinking. Neither of

42:53

us drank, and like, you know, just became everything

42:56

and it we just were fighting, saying

42:58

the most hurtful things possible to each each other, Like

43:00

we just knew so much about each other, so

43:03

we would say exactly.

43:05

This is when I first even entertained the idea

43:07

of comedy. Comedy wasn't for another few years

43:09

down the line, but she was like, you'll never do comedy,

43:11

You'll never make it, like things like that, and I'm like, you'll never

43:13

be an advertising executive. Never pretty.

43:16

Yeah, just stupid ship. I hate that. I

43:19

hate when you say the worst thing you get to to somebody.

43:21

I try never to say that, even though I'm like I I float

43:23

at like a kind of a median of mean. I

43:26

don't say like the worst thing. Ever. That's my brother's

43:28

specialty. Hey, Chris, I do right. It's

43:30

important not to open that Pandora's box,

43:33

because once you do, you just go

43:35

there in a fight and it's like that relate your relationship

43:37

will never be this exactly. Yeah, it's

43:39

like a betrayal of trust. And then

43:41

this was This was before I smoked pot

43:43

and gained empathy for human beings. So I used to

43:46

think that I was like a good arguer,

43:48

but it turned out I would just say the most sociopathic

43:51

thing possible immediately and just cut

43:53

the fight off right there. Yeah, yeah, I used to

43:55

do that. I used to do that. Pot never changed my mind.

43:57

It was just like the I would feel so guilty

43:59

after. Yeah, I couldn't deal with the guilt.

44:02

I'm so sorry, You're it's

44:04

not even the guilt, it's just it's just like, yeah,

44:06

it's just fucking shitty like you, because

44:09

everyone knows the most hurtful thing that could

44:11

be said to them, and it's it's like kind of

44:13

like in a glass case in my mind,

44:15

and it's like, do not break unless

44:18

emergency, and the emergency is you don't

44:20

want to be friends,

44:22

you don't want to be in a relationship anymore. And

44:24

even then, like, I don't think it needs to be said. Are

44:27

you are you're able to keep that? To

44:29

keep that away? Yeah, it's just too shitty,

44:31

You don't You don't see the nastiest thing you could say? Yeah,

44:34

I mean at this point, I certainly, I certainly

44:36

don't. I don't do it, and I can be

44:38

really mean and brutal to people, but I yeah,

44:40

I don't, I don't really. Yeah, I don't

44:42

think I I know the meanest thing that I would say to pretty much

44:44

everyone I know, and I don't think I've ever said it to

44:47

anybody. Yeah. I feel like everyone carries

44:49

around like once they find someone's weakness or

44:51

something. If you're getting to know, it's like, Okay, that's

44:53

that's going to be stored in this box that I hopefully will

44:55

never take out again. Yeah, I mean, my my girlfriend

44:58

found it pretty quickly, and then but she started

45:00

saying it so much that it no longer affects

45:03

me. It makes what is it? It's

45:05

your being your dad, right, You're

45:08

acting exactly like your dad. And immediately initially

45:10

that would get me so fucking furious that,

45:13

like, you know, it would bring up all these issues. But

45:15

after a while, I just you associated

45:17

with, oh, I know what you're doing, so it's

45:19

not even a tactic. It's

45:22

all a tactic to begin with, the

45:24

thing hearing that hurts, but you know, you

45:27

begin to realize, oh, you're just trying to hurt me all

45:31

this stuff. You know what I like? Though? You know what I like? I

45:33

hate that I was talking about this earlier.

45:35

Um. I like when people kind of make fun

45:37

of me for my weaknesses. And I

45:40

guess maybe I take it better

45:42

from certain people than I do. But I remember my my one

45:44

of my best friends, Jeff Um made

45:46

fun of his mom had passed away like

45:49

years prior, and my mom was

45:51

depressed and she tried to kill a while ago, but she

45:53

was doing better, but she was And I remember one

45:55

time he said, oh, your mom trying to chew

45:58

so woo hoo, And I was like, thank

46:00

you for saying that that's kind of being a little bit

46:02

about it, like I was letting it get to me

46:05

kind of un gets a shitty thing. But everyone

46:07

has a shitty thing. It's fine. So

46:09

I love when people kind of like roast

46:11

me for that. I love it too, Yeah, because you

46:13

know, I could harbor on my father issues for as long

46:16

as possible. But you know, if if nobody actually

46:18

said to me, hey, you're almost thirty, like fucking

46:20

deal with your own issues because you're an adult now take

46:23

responsibility for how you react. And I really

46:25

appreciate when people say that to me. It's like

46:27

one of the most respectful things you could say to Maybe

46:31

Mike can email my ex bloyfriend, that would be great. Your

46:35

dad. I want to make it clear real quick that my girlfriend

46:37

doesn't say that stuff anymore, Like that's

46:39

not that's not a part of our relations well,

46:42

because I I go to therapy individually,

46:44

She goes to therapy individually. And it's just something

46:46

that we've now realized. You know, we're coming

46:48

to terms with how to communicate with each other, and

46:50

we both love each other, so we want it to work.

46:53

It's just that we've grown each grown in our in

46:55

you know varying toxic environments and learned

46:58

how to you know, deal with it differently.

47:00

And you have patterns of thought behaviors and argument

47:03

patterns that it's so hard you need a

47:05

therapist to help you get out of those. Because it's

47:07

like putting the groove in the you know, or the needle in

47:09

the record groove is it's going to follow those

47:11

thought patterns for his way because it's comfortable.

47:14

You have to fucking hack through the woods and create

47:16

a new path for your brain to fire differently. So

47:19

crazy in me to I mean, do you think

47:21

so did you go to therapy for

47:23

yourself or did you go so that you could stay in the relationship

47:26

or a little bit of both. I went for myself because

47:28

I and because I've always not

47:31

always, but I've been an angry person since I was

47:33

twenty and a lot of like like I had, my

47:35

parents got a divorce, my grandfather who was basically

47:38

my dad, died, my dog died, and like five

47:41

or six of my friends died on like probably

47:43

a year to eighteen months. It's like five

47:45

or together your friends that are separately

47:47

separately but all like within a

47:49

pretty decent amount of varying causes, varying

47:52

causes, a lot of car related A couple

47:54

of a couple of had cancer, like really

47:57

really young, so it's like it's a whole

47:59

well that's probably I would imagine as a twenty

48:01

year old too, you realize, oh, life sucks

48:04

this like it's not all you're

48:07

a comedian. When you're a child, everyone's like you

48:09

can do anything, you're the best, and then you grew up and you're

48:11

like, you suck, get off your ass right

48:13

right, Yeah, if anyone's listening, you can't

48:15

do anything. So don't ever think that there

48:18

is something that you can do awesomely well,

48:20

and as soon as you figure out what that is, just

48:22

keep working towards it. I think that's such a bullshit

48:24

thing to tell kids. I'm like what then know

48:27

like this false sense of confidence and then go out

48:29

in the world and then they realize everyone's a piece of ship, but

48:32

we're all good at something right, wholeheartedly

48:34

believe that. So I don't know whatever

48:37

it's a it's learning to monetize it. That's the tricky

48:39

part. How long have you in therapy

48:42

separately, Um, I've been in

48:44

for a little over a year. I think

48:47

she's been in maybe six months for

48:50

different issues, totally different. Yeah,

48:52

but I mean we each have we each have our own demons,

48:54

and and it's odd because as we're going

48:56

through it together and that you know, separately,

48:58

but together, we're recognizing patterns

49:01

and similarities that we have in our lives

49:03

and how we react, and it's very similar

49:05

and anger kind of shows itself. So

49:08

it's funny, like it it honestly has brought

49:10

us closer together because we recognize that,

49:12

like, oh, there's a lot of odd undertones

49:14

in us that probably subconsciously

49:17

we fell in love with that we didn't even realize,

49:19

and now it's being brought to the surface. And it's like, oh,

49:21

that makes me love you even more because

49:23

we have, you know, this deeper ship that we weren't even

49:25

aware of. Yeah, it's so funny. I've been in therapy

49:28

for almost a year because even

49:30

and I would get to this point, and I've gotten

49:32

to this point and every seeing one of my relationships, I'm I'm

49:34

bad at arguing because I gets so so

49:38

mad that I'm illogical and I can't

49:40

talk to me. I'm fucking like whiny

49:42

little bit. I'm just like, oh, I don't know what you're trying

49:44

to say to me, and I become this different person. And

49:46

I remember seeing was like, I can't. I want to learn

49:49

how to argue with you, but you freak out and you

49:51

have this like panic attack and I don't know. I'm

49:53

just like okay, and then I have to leave. And then

49:55

when he like if he goes to leave the apartment, he

49:58

used to do this, He's like, I'm just gonna go take a walk,

50:00

Like, no, you're staying here. I'm taking a

50:02

walk because I need to be in control. And

50:04

then I went to therapy for it because I I

50:07

knew that was something that I needed to work on my whole life,

50:09

so I went to it for me, but it's helped. And then he started

50:12

going therapy for It's kind of the same situation

50:14

as you call. And it's so nice

50:16

because it's like, Wow, you realize

50:18

relationships are work, but it's

50:20

fun work because you're also helped doing it for

50:23

yourself first and foremost want

50:25

to progress as being remaining

50:27

stagnant. Yeah, and then you've just become

50:30

better people. I'm like, oh, I guess this is like this

50:32

point of literally sounds like hell on Earth

50:34

to me, And I was honestly at

50:36

the point. Guy, who's been two years. I was at

50:38

the point where I thought I was ready for relationship, and

50:40

now I'm honestly like making changing

50:43

my plans for this week in my mind right

50:45

now? Do you have anything about yourself that you want

50:47

to change? I have become such

50:49

a better person in these two years I was single.

50:51

I feel like I have progressed more in these two years

50:53

than I have in my entire life. Though.

50:56

No, personally, every everything,

50:58

well obviously it's really been showing. Um.

51:02

Yeah, No, I just feel and I feel

51:04

calm. I don't even like

51:06

I don't really even remember. I haven't don't.

51:09

I don't remember the last time I had like a real argument

51:13

with somebody. I don't.

51:15

Maybe maybe you need to though, because I'm

51:17

a huge fighter, like I just like I don't will number

51:20

one, I don't really believe with like I

51:22

don't. I don't like my best friend and I we don't

51:24

argue. I don't argue with my roommate,

51:28

I don't argue with my Do

51:31

you internalize a lot, though, because that's my problem,

51:33

where my rage and

51:36

figure it out in my head and then that manifest it at

51:38

all stage when I do stand up my

51:41

stand up is very angry, but

51:43

since I started doing stand up, I rarely

51:46

feel angry in real life, like

51:48

like a real intense anger. Of course, I get annoyed

51:50

all the time. I'm easily annoyed, like

51:52

a deep rage. No, yeah, I

51:55

And it's really helped because there was

51:57

a point when I was just like so sad or whatever

51:59

that I thought I did want

52:01

to go to therapy and I just want to acupuncture instead

52:03

because it's more my style and it does

52:06

it has like therapy like you is talking

52:08

therapy and acupuncture as well. Um.

52:11

But yeah, No, I just get super angry

52:14

on stage and then it's like fifteen minutes and then I'm done.

52:16

And that's all I needed, like a your version of

52:18

punching a pillow. Yeah, I'm

52:20

not like, I'm not a physically aggressive person at all.

52:22

I don't. Yeah, I've never gotten to fight

52:24

a physical fight at um fantasised

52:27

about getting enough physical fight. Yeah, I don't like that. I

52:29

don't like breaking or harming things. That doesn't

52:31

do it for me because then I'm just like I'm just gonna have to clean

52:33

this up later. Yeah. I had to stop that. At

52:35

twenty three, I realized I could be tried as an adult

52:38

and it's like, all right, that's yeah. I

52:41

mean I've been in I used to. I have done

52:43

steroids before when I was in college, and like

52:45

my I would be called into events

52:48

where I'd have to act as kind of like you

52:50

know, this happened like once or twice, but where

52:52

I'd have to kind of bounce people from parties a little

52:54

bit. I was big for like us, you know,

52:57

probably a year long period. What did

52:59

I do your brain steroids? Not

53:02

much really, I think it actually it probably

53:04

gave me more confidence of anything and you

53:06

know it so that but it fucked

53:09

with my liver, that's what it really did, and I almost

53:11

like died from that. Yeah, that's

53:13

why I had to stop. But in terms

53:15

of like, in terms of even fighting with my

53:17

girlfriend, like I have this weird

53:20

need to be correct and to be heard, and

53:22

it's probably because I'm like a middle child who never

53:24

felt that my dad gave me enough attention. So

53:27

I'm like I I like, I like tell her and drill

53:29

a point and drill a point and driller point, and she's

53:31

like, stopped doing your stand up at

53:33

me. And

53:37

then I'm like that's just how I talk and she's

53:39

like, yeah, but you get into this mode where you're

53:41

just you're

53:43

just doing the same rhythm you do on So

53:47

I had to learn how to kind of peel that

53:49

back quite a bit. How do you guys have rough

53:51

sex? No, not particularly

53:54

rough, Like I wouldn't say, uh, we wouldn't

53:56

beat each other up or anything like that. I have had that with

53:58

a person before, and I don't like

54:00

there's a there's an element of it that I really enjoy

54:03

and it's fun, but there's a it's a fine line

54:05

where it gets to like all right, al like

54:07

that pain

54:11

it doesn't turn you on, then yeah, I

54:13

like the thump pain. I don't

54:16

like the physical like if I feel a knuckle

54:18

against my lip, then I'm like shit, like that's

54:20

that's like a real Men are

54:23

more easier or hurt

54:26

than women during sex. Because I feel like a lot of

54:28

guys, like people can do a lot of rough stuff to

54:30

me and it doesn't I don't bother, but a lot of guys are like that.

54:33

I guess that a lot from God. It's also a scary

54:36

thing when a girl is really into that just because

54:38

you don't like they want you to like

54:40

unload sometimes or at least the girls that

54:42

I've been with have been like no, like fucking hit

54:44

me. And it's like I feel uncomfortable

54:46

because this could look like anything after

54:49

this, like especially we don't know. I

54:51

just are so worry

54:54

about like sucking lawsuits in the

54:56

bedroom because the

54:59

room with my hand ends up. Oh

55:01

my god, I almost had to take a picture with

55:03

like me thumbing up, like with the bruise

55:05

on her face. God. So

55:08

what if a girl has ever been like choke

55:10

me or something or like hit me or no, I'm

55:12

kind of I like a soft choke. I'm

55:14

not like into I'm not like into like

55:16

a barbaric like choke. Yeah,

55:20

anybody. I guess maybe there are people I

55:23

like Stephen being the aggressor because

55:25

that's just the what I like with him. I

55:28

don't like sometimes I like being the aggressive with him,

55:30

but I like getting like lightly slapped in the face

55:32

and like lightly choked, lightly spanked.

55:35

Yeah, And there's the things that are weird about

55:37

me sexually. I guess is like I haven't

55:40

haven't done any fingers inside my asshole.

55:42

Frankly, I'm afraid to get addicted to it, Like

55:44

I feel like that's it's gonna Yeah,

55:46

it's gonna be like one of those things where I know it's gonna feel

55:49

good. There's nerve endings there. It's fucking science.

55:51

But I do like I like the tease of

55:53

it, Like the danger of it possibly

55:56

happening could make me come pretty quickly.

55:58

Like if I get some ball play

56:00

with a mix of a of a graze the rim

56:02

of my asshole. Yeah, that's a if

56:06

you you find that you like a finger in your asshole,

56:08

So then what then is because it's hoosexual.

56:10

No, it's not too homosexual. It'll just be more

56:13

of a shame spiral for me to be

56:15

home and trying to replay

56:18

that, like if I'm fingering my own

56:20

asshole, just to kind of relive

56:22

that feeling. That's kind of there's nothing

56:24

wrong with it. It's just I grew up Irish Catholics,

56:27

so it's tough for me to feel no guilt. You know,

56:29

in any sexual situation, you feel

56:31

guilty when you're masturbating. No, no, I feel

56:33

no guilt, But afterwards, there there's a feeling

56:36

like a sheen of disgust. You

56:39

shower after you fox. No, sometimes

56:41

I just fucking wear it. Yeah, that

56:44

must must. Yeah,

56:47

every once in a while um,

56:50

I would say between you know,

56:52

on bad weeks once, but on good weeks

56:54

it'll be you know, anywhere from five

56:57

up, so so you know,

56:59

and the bad weeks happened less and less.

57:01

But you know, again as a comic, it's

57:03

tough because she works. She works during the

57:06

day. I get home at one, so it's like two

57:08

ships passing in the night every once in a while. So

57:11

if we have a Saturday or a Sunday, sometimes we'll

57:13

knock it out a lot. Just you know. It

57:15

wasn't that kind of nice though. I like that, especially

57:17

when you live with someone you don't see them a ton

57:20

because you know, because I get I don't get sick of people

57:23

very easily, but I would I that's when my was my

57:25

fear with living with Stephen. It's like, God, I don't

57:27

I hope I don't get sick of them. Living with

57:29

somebody is just you fucking see them all the

57:31

time. But having those opposite schedules

57:33

it's kind of nice because you get a chance to miss them. Yeah,

57:36

it's like a it's a special holiday when you wake up

57:38

together and you don't have to go rush out

57:40

of the door. Yeah. Yeah, like we were

57:43

credaty for like five days and I that was

57:45

the longest I hadn't seen him for a while at

57:47

that point, and like I came home and I felt like it was like our

57:49

first date. I was like, oh my god, I

57:52

did that. Yeah, I just got back from two and a half

57:54

weeks on the road. And as soon as I was like, I was

57:56

like, I don't even want to hear your voice. Let's just go drip

58:00

in the bedroom. Almost had bathroom,

58:02

but you know that's fine. In

58:04

the bathroom. We used to fuck in the shower all

58:06

the time, but I actually are That's difficult.

58:09

It's difficult. And once I drank

58:11

a four loco the night before and like we

58:13

were having sex the next morning and I got

58:16

almost but I got I got tunnel vision

58:18

and rapid heartbeat. So I thought I was going

58:20

to die. Was the real

58:23

for local? Did it yet? That I

58:25

had one can of the real four loco? And

58:28

I fucking hallucinated that my

58:30

I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. That should

58:33

never have been legal. Whoever said that

58:35

was okay? Yeah it was mad

58:37

one too, and I my heart was

58:39

racing so fast I thought I was going to die. Yeah,

58:41

that was one of the first nights I was hanging out with Frank and

58:43

he they his improv team had a

58:45

fucking night for Yeah,

58:48

they had a four Local improv show. Really

58:50

and yeah, me and Dianna. I don't even think I had a whole can

58:52

of four Local. Actually, in retrospect, I think I should shared

58:55

it with Dianna, who's Jonathan

58:57

Randall's girlfriend. And fucking

59:00

I was out of my mind.

59:03

I tried to fight people on the street. There's

59:05

a picture of myth and of course it's the picture

59:07

that Frank chose to show his mother for the first

59:09

picture ever where he's holding

59:11

me back. I'm wearing a flannel

59:14

shirt number one, like I'm some fucking extra

59:16

from like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He's holding

59:18

He's holding me back, and I just go like I

59:20

have I'm going this. It's

59:23

not towards him, it's just someone on the street. And

59:26

and I was like, why would you show that to your

59:28

mom? And also I have fucking crazy four

59:30

local eyes. It's so dangerous.

59:33

Oh my god, did did you pass

59:35

out? I laid down on my bed and

59:38

weathered the storm minutes. But I

59:40

was like, honestly, if this goes for longer, you're gonna have to

59:43

call the ambulance. Because this is back

59:45

when I had health insurance, so it was like I'll

59:47

use it. But yeah, it was. It was a scary

59:50

moment. Have you ever had a sex injury you're Nicole?

59:53

Were you in general? When it's gone,

59:55

when it's gotten too fast and like it comes

59:57

out and sit down hard on the dick. I felt

59:59

like I almost broke my dick once and that that

1:00:02

was a really scary moment where

1:00:04

the dick hits the girl's taint and you're

1:00:06

both like, oh my god. Like

1:00:09

we sat there for

1:00:11

like two minutes, like not making a noise because

1:00:13

I was like, hold on, like I have to talk.

1:00:16

Yeah, my brain was just like sending signals

1:00:18

throughout my body to see if everything

1:00:20

was right.

1:00:23

I've never broken anyone's dick. I mean,

1:00:25

I don't know a little bit bad about myself

1:00:28

neither tape to popsicle sticks

1:00:30

to the side and just kind of you know,

1:00:32

splint that baby up. So

1:00:36

so yeah, like what what doesn't you break a dick?

1:00:38

What do you you're breaking the blood phussel? What are

1:00:40

you doing? I don't know. I mean I'm assuming

1:00:43

that it's some sort of the tissue, the hard

1:00:45

tissue on the side that gathers with the you know,

1:00:47

I don't know. This is me fucking being

1:00:49

doctor dick head. You

1:00:51

know, the follicles on the things. I

1:00:53

have no idea. I've never broken it, but boy, you

1:00:56

know it's it's a scare every time it happened, like

1:00:58

hate, do you splint it? What happened? If

1:01:01

anybody's broken their dick, yeah, he's right.

1:01:03

And if you've broken your dick, and explain it. I've

1:01:05

done that before. Insects already interrupted

1:01:07

that I had sex with this girl in college and

1:01:10

I was I was on Viking in and I had done

1:01:12

a little bit of every story

1:01:15

is like I was had a little meth and my sister. I

1:01:18

was on a little bit of coke, a little bit of Viking and

1:01:20

a lot of booze. And this was

1:01:22

the hottest girl I banged in college. And

1:01:24

I'm like fucking her for like fifty minutes. I'm like,

1:01:27

I am killing this. She's enjoying it. What

1:01:29

a specific amount of time because

1:01:31

it was going for a while and I fast

1:01:34

paced and everything exactly.

1:01:37

But I looked down and I wasn't

1:01:39

even inside of her, Like I was

1:01:41

legit, like I was so soft that

1:01:44

my dick was literally just that tweeting

1:01:47

or something. She was enjoying it. I don't

1:01:49

know what. I think she was on some sort of hallucinogens,

1:01:51

but she was like she was really enjoying

1:01:53

it. So I took, Yeah, I took

1:01:56

my finger and I like propped

1:01:58

my slug dick onto my finger and I

1:02:00

like jimmied it into her and just kind of

1:02:02

finished it off for like, I

1:02:05

don't think so. I think I went like five more

1:02:07

minutes and I was like, that's that's a night?

1:02:09

How is that is that fun? For? You know?

1:02:12

But I had to leave her with some sort of impression.

1:02:15

I couldn't. I couldn't leave her with I don't

1:02:17

know if he was inside of me for the majority of that I

1:02:20

asked that question of myself so many times, Oh

1:02:23

my god, my youth, have you ever been attracted

1:02:25

as to you a man, like like

1:02:27

tangibly or like in a sexual way

1:02:29

or not in a sexual

1:02:31

way? But I can admit when a guy is very attractive,

1:02:34

like it's more of a jealousy factor than

1:02:36

actual attraction. Like I'll look at a guy and be

1:02:38

like funck, Like I wish I had that stomach, you

1:02:41

know, which sounds um.

1:02:48

But so you've never you've never kissed

1:02:50

a guy. No, But there was a rumor going around

1:02:52

about me in in high school from one of my ex

1:02:54

ex friends who is a

1:02:56

gay man. But he was having a little bit of a tough

1:02:59

time socially and mentally, and he started

1:03:01

a rumor that we had we had hooked

1:03:03

up. I think it was more to like

1:03:05

kind of bring somebody in who was more socially

1:03:08

acceptable than him, So he kind of wanted

1:03:10

to be like, look look at me, he's just like me, and

1:03:12

you know it's fine. I have no ill will towards him. But it

1:03:14

was just like it's one of those rumors where

1:03:16

as a high schooler, it was tough to fucking combat

1:03:19

because you know it's not

1:03:21

true, and you don't vicious and you don't

1:03:23

want to be considered gay because you're you're

1:03:26

fighting for your life trying to get pussy. Yeah,

1:03:28

so it's like I don't need exactly.

1:03:32

Yeah, So it was. It was. It was a tough

1:03:34

thing, but I just kind of combated it by being like, listen,

1:03:36

you're going through your own ship. I'm not gonna sucking spread

1:03:39

your name through the mud and make it worse for you. I

1:03:41

hope you do better. You know, it's very noble

1:03:43

of you. Well, you know, I

1:03:46

will ask questions. Do

1:03:50

you call fart in front of each other? Yeah?

1:03:53

You always? Uh yeah, I think that's

1:03:55

been a long standing it's

1:03:58

i mean sometimes almost an

1:04:02

she's time, I'm like,

1:04:04

Stephen, I'm really sorry, be like for what And I'm like, oh

1:04:07

my god, yeah, you're a good comedian. Sermon.

1:04:12

She tried to she dutch Oven me

1:04:14

a few times. It

1:04:16

got like it got to the point where I would

1:04:18

be so repulsed. I can't be

1:04:20

thrilled about this podcast. Oh,

1:04:23

I mean, I just don't know. I defended her

1:04:25

on or when you did the only schmuck movie you've

1:04:27

ever done in that and then he was like, oh, she thought

1:04:29

it was funny anyway. Well, because Mike posted

1:04:31

a picture of Niclar blacked

1:04:33

out past and it was just like, you

1:04:36

know what. And also, I will say I had a

1:04:38

flashback to something that my exit

1:04:40

to me that was shitty that I found that when I didn't

1:04:42

even have Instagram. He I was like, we

1:04:44

were in a fight, and I like lay down on the bed and put the sheets

1:04:46

over me. Like I'm a fucking three year old and

1:04:48

he and he posted on Instagram it

1:04:51

was like someone's cranky, and then all his fucking

1:04:53

stupid improv friends were liking and I was like, you know

1:04:55

what, fuck you. I found it like a year later and got

1:04:57

really mad. So I think I was projecting that on you.

1:05:00

I apologize. I still think it was shitty, but she was okay

1:05:02

with it, so obviously, you know, we're better than you. In

1:05:05

hindsight, it wasn't the best situation. But if that's

1:05:08

if that's, you know, the worst thing I can

1:05:10

do in this relationship, I think I've done a pretty concentra

1:05:13

Yeah, great boyfriend.

1:05:15

I definitely try harder

1:05:18

now than I ever have. Yeah, because

1:05:22

it's worth it. I wouldn't I wouldn't put the work in if

1:05:24

I didn't, if if the results didn't you

1:05:26

know, match up, and did something

1:05:28

finally make that click that you're like, I really

1:05:30

need to fucking just better, just more

1:05:32

more of like therapy of realizing

1:05:35

that a lot of my anger and a lot of the fights

1:05:37

we were having, we're me projecting my own

1:05:39

issues with myself onto her, and

1:05:42

you know, and yeah, she's like kind of an innocent

1:05:44

bystander to a lot of the stuff, so, you know, and

1:05:46

and yet still remained by my side. So she's

1:05:49

a really great person. Much

1:05:52

love me, and you know, make the listens

1:05:54

to me fucking divulge our information

1:05:57

on podcasts, out on stage, on everything,

1:05:59

and she's you know, it takes girl

1:06:02

who not Yeah, I mean it takes a cool

1:06:04

girl that's not into comedy

1:06:07

like in the business of course, stand by

1:06:09

and allow that to happen. Absolutely. Yeah, well

1:06:11

that's awesome. So for that I applaud her. Yeah

1:06:14

we do too, Nicole, Thank

1:06:16

you so much. Thank you, guys. Jesus Christ.

1:06:19

Where can find you? You can find me

1:06:21

in ten minutes at therapy. Um,

1:06:24

yeah, I'm at I am Mike Cannon. Also on

1:06:26

this very network, I have a podcast. Yeah,

1:06:29

it's about conspiracy. I doubt you have many fans

1:06:31

that are really interested in that. Everyone.

1:06:33

I thank this podcast Upgather podcast on

1:06:35

the network that I'm most interested in, Deep Inside

1:06:38

the rabbit Hole. Seriously, guys, it's really cool. Um,

1:06:40

the truth is out there and I

1:06:44

love that. Yeah. That's our new h that's our new

1:06:46

baby. Me and me and fucking stand

1:06:48

up New York Labs. What a great show. It's uh, it's

1:06:50

me just kind of reviewing the most recent

1:06:52

news in pop culture. And I

1:06:54

do reviews of kind of different strains,

1:06:57

different products and a video of the week

1:06:59

and have six episodes out, just filmed

1:07:01

the seventh one right before this. Where can we find them? It's

1:07:05

uh d weed news dot com.

1:07:07

It's also all over my YouTube, which

1:07:09

is somewhere whatever, I don't know what the fucking

1:07:11

also links

1:07:14

to it. Thank you so much. Manember

1:07:17

nine headlining Carolines September

1:07:21

Carolines on Broadway. Go online a reserve ticket.

1:07:23

Fantastic, Thank

1:07:26

you, Mike. Have Fun and Therapy Yes by

1:07:31

New York. I love you, but

1:07:34

you're bringing me down, New

1:07:41

York. I love you, but you're

1:07:44

bringing me down like

1:07:50

a rat in a cage pulling

1:07:54

minum Wave, New

1:08:00

York. I love you, but you're

1:08:03

bringing me down.