0:00

Welcome the Guys We Bought, the.

0:02

Anti Slushing Podcast. I'm

0:05

Christina Hutchins and I'm Karen Fisher and

0:07

I'm yeah. So we're

0:09

going up to sludy, your horny and

0:12

your shame.

0:13

Hey you with love? Yes, okay, talk

0:17

about Greetings, fuckers,

0:20

how you doing? Where you been? Who

0:23

you?

0:23

Who are you doing with? Welcome to another episode

0:25

of Guys We Fucked. It's the Anti Slutching

0:27

Podcast. I'm Karenne Fisher, I'm Christina

0:29

Hutchinson. Welcome to our show. Are

0:32

you going to be in Los Angeles on

0:34

Saturday May eleventh at nine forty five

0:36

pm at the Regent Theater. Well, we're going

0:38

to be there, so we hope that you're there too,

0:41

and we hope that you've bought a ticket. So

0:43

far ago, so long ago. Yes,

0:45

this is for a live recording

0:48

of the Guys We Fuck Podcast, which is the same

0:50

podcast that you're already ingesting right now.

0:52

You know what means you.

0:53

Like it if you're tired of the spiel

0:55

is going to go up until we set We're going to keep doing

0:57

this. So if you want to make you the

0:59

fuck up, you buy tickets. Yeah,

1:01

this is a threat that this will continue happening

1:04

until our appearance at the Netflix

1:06

is a joke festival.

1:08

It's sold out because, as we've.

1:10

Told you time and time before, we're already on such thin

1:12

ut flicks with Netflix.

1:13

Honestly, it feels like a pity casting. I guess

1:15

someone canceled.

1:16

Yeah yeah, yeah, probably

1:20

we were made aware of in a timely

1:22

manner, so I know

1:24

that.

1:25

Oh right, yeah, so it does.

1:26

Everybody had their announcements, although we didn't get our graphics

1:28

or later, but they were working on the assets they

1:31

I don't know why it took so long, but probably

1:33

because I just kept sending them weird photos. But that's because

1:35

I didn't like the ones they were picking. I didn't like the

1:37

ones they were picking.

1:38

No one.

1:40

When people picked your photos for you, it's

1:42

especially if it's a guy.

1:44

It's like, how do you think that's a good photo.

1:46

It's like they sat under you and took a picture from the perspective

1:48

of your chin.

1:49

It was as if Bill Maher chose the photo

1:53

that guy. Oh well, we didn't promote our appearance.

1:55

Oh yeah, maybe if you want to promote it, I

1:57

mean, whatever it's out there. I also think

1:59

we should read when the coming episodes not in

2:01

alex This is a really long email, but like more of those

2:03

comments. Yeah, yea, yea, yeah, yeah yeah,

2:05

it's so funny and I love to be not a got

2:07

to overlap between guys.

2:09

We fucked in Bill Maher fans

2:11

what it's crazy, really really

2:13

kind of crazy. Yeah.

2:16

I love being at a place where a negative

2:18

on my Instagram. I like, I won't

2:21

let think, won't let things go only because I

2:23

want people to be better. But like something like Bill

2:25

Maher's YouTube comment section, I'm

2:27

like, this is hilarious. Like the more comments

2:29

just jog the algorithm, so I go. Please keep

2:32

going, whatever you want, keep it going.

2:33

This is great.

2:35

I love it.

2:35

If you want to email us, it's sorry about last night's

2:37

show at gmail dot com. Today's subject line

2:40

I'm low contact with my mum and

2:42

I don't know why.

2:44

You probably have a clue.

2:45

Hi Current and Christina longtime fucker loved the

2:47

show. Twenty eight year old female living in

2:49

Australia.

2:50

Hell aar.

2:51

This email is so long. I'll get to the point. Well

2:54

it's also still long, but that's okay. I wanted to read it.

2:56

I have a super complicated relationship with my

2:58

mother and it feels like it's really coming to a head

3:00

now. I taken so much childhood trauma

3:02

content online, which be careful about

3:04

that. Look at other things, look

3:06

at cartoons. Something that makes you happy, doesn't

3:08

make you think about the shit you can't think about it all. And

3:11

also be careful who you're taking it in from, because a lot

3:13

of these people are psychos and idiots. Yeah, and they're

3:15

still traumatized and haven't really done the

3:17

hard work. When you were working

3:20

through trauma, you kind of have to go through

3:22

the desert, go to the desert and die and

3:24

come back in a way. It's not necessary

3:28

for every single person, but it is

3:30

the most potent way to get through it. I

3:33

taken so much childhood trauma content online

3:35

and weird mother daughter relationship content, and

3:37

I've never found someone who has the

3:39

issue I'm having with my mother. I

3:42

distanced myself from her. I'm low contact

3:44

at this point, and I feel super uncomfortable with

3:46

her. But I don't have a good reason why.

3:48

Well, the body keeps the score. Okay, wish

3:50

it didn't, but it does. So maybe

3:53

you feel unsafe for reasons that your

3:55

conscious brain can't identify. I'm

3:57

an only child, mom and Dad are still together and

4:00

have a good relationship. They both worked

4:02

full time from when I was six months old. I never

4:04

experienced anything super traumatic in my upbringing.

4:06

My parents are very close with their respective families,

4:09

and I'm the odd one out.

4:11

Maybe past life thing.

4:12

I want to preface this by saying I remember barely any

4:15

of my childhood.

4:15

Okay, that is a huge red flat.

4:18

So children have this kind of

4:20

brilliant mechanism that they

4:22

are all born with where every

4:25

child looks up to their mother and father like their god

4:27

right because they're the ones responsible for your food and

4:29

shelter and clothing and love and everything

4:32

you need your parent has to give you. And

4:34

so sometimes when the parent is abusive, the

4:37

child will internalize that and

4:39

go, well, there must be something I'm doing to make them

4:41

like this, so that you can physically handle

4:43

the fact that the person who's supposed to raise you is

4:46

dangerous. A child would

4:48

basically die if they really came to

4:50

that realization at a young age with a young nervous

4:52

system.

4:53

So keep in mind that if you.

4:54

Don't remember your childhood and you have big blackout

4:56

moments, that is a sign you

5:00

got go to therapy.

5:03

Mainly from negative things.

5:04

Okay, So I want to preface this by saying I barely remember any

5:06

of my childhood, not a lot from teenagehood,

5:08

mainly the negative things, so I'm working with what I

5:10

can for the background. My mom and I

5:12

fought quite a lot when I was a teenager, probably

5:15

a normal amount for what I can compare to my female

5:17

friends. We argued mostly about two

5:19

main things, studying and

5:21

cleaning. My mom worked hard to move

5:23

up in the corporate ladder in her career, but it took

5:26

her a long time, as she didn't go

5:28

to university. When she was in her forties,

5:30

she would come home from a long day of work and have

5:32

to spend the evening studying to get promotions.

5:35

I remember her saying she didn't want me to have

5:38

to be doing this when I was her age.

5:40

She really wanted me to get a good good enough

5:42

grades to go to university. I had no clue what

5:44

I wanted to do growing up and wasn't super

5:47

academically inclined. She made

5:49

more money than my dad, who worked a blue collar

5:51

job and had no interest in moving up a ladder. She

5:53

was always getting on at me to

5:56

study do my homework in the evenings, after school.

5:58

I tried, but I was barely I was not

6:00

really motivated, and oftentimes I would sit at

6:02

the dining table with all my books out

6:05

for hours getting nothing done. Side note,

6:07

last year I was diagnosed with ADHD, which explains

6:09

so much about this and why I couldn't clean. The

6:12

cleaning arguments were about me not cleaning up after

6:15

myself around the house or not doing chores that were

6:17

assigned to me. I was definitely

6:19

hard where I was definitely hard

6:21

work. As a teen, I remember us

6:23

having screaming matches at each other that

6:25

always started with either cleaning, cleaning,

6:28

or studying issues. This went on from

6:30

around the age of fourteen to seventeen.

6:33

There were a few core arguments that are burned in my

6:35

memory. I dyed my natural hair

6:37

from blonde to brunett with a home die kit

6:39

when I was home alone at the age of twelve or thirteen.

6:42

I mean, that's like a typical, Yeah, you get into

6:44

trouble on your that age because you don't know. My mom had

6:46

explicitly told me no every time

6:48

I asked to dye my hair, and one day I just did it

6:50

myself. She was so a

6:53

po pop apocalyptic

6:55

as that was just a poplectic.

6:57

I don't know what that word is. Apoplectic.

7:01

I don't know what that is.

7:01

I'm like, I don't know many words, but I'll

7:03

know that's the word apop l

7:05

e C.

7:06

I'll overcome with anger. Indignant.

7:08

Wow, it's like it has to be a real work

7:10

because it's not underlined.

7:11

Right right, right right. She was so apoplectic.

7:14

Wow, love that word. She couldn't speak

7:17

m She didn't speak to me for a week.

7:19

Ah.

7:20

That stings.

7:21

I had that.

7:22

I remember thinking she must have told my dad

7:24

not to speak to me either, because my dad was always

7:26

pretty chill and wouldn't give a shit if I dyed my

7:28

hair and he didn't speak to me for a couple of days either.

7:31

That's such a yes, and it's like when

7:34

a parent gives the child the silent treatment.

7:37

Fuck you, okay, okay,

7:39

I hate that.

7:40

The second is when I was nineteen, I was on vacation

7:43

without them, visiting family abroad, when

7:45

I decided to book a tattoo appointment with an artist

7:48

i'd followed for ages. I knew she didn't approve

7:50

of tattoos. Well you're nineteen, so fuck it. So

7:52

I thought I was being mature. When I gave her a heads

7:54

up nope message about

7:57

the two inch tattoo on the back of my ankle the

7:59

night before the appointment, I woke up to

8:01

an essay from her about how

8:03

it was the worst thing I could do. Some highlights

8:05

quote, you have the ability to excel

8:08

in the highest level.

8:09

A lot of that is to do with your beauty.

8:12

That's weird things to say.

8:13

Another quote, if you wanted to chop all

8:15

your hair off, it would be catastrophic, but

8:17

it's not permanent. Another quote, you're perfect,

8:20

Just don't spoil it. Respect my wishes.

8:22

People with tattoos look trashy and

8:25

always regret it, et cetera. She also

8:27

got my cousins, my grandma,

8:29

my aunt, and a family friend to send me messages

8:32

urging me not to do it.

8:33

This is fucking psychotic. Your mom's psychototic.

8:35

Our mom should be friends. This is really

8:37

weird behavior.

8:38

Yeah, just like, as someone who is coming from

8:41

not weird behavior, I'm gonna tell you

8:43

this is not I know, like when you and you started

8:45

the email being like nothing really traumatic for my

8:48

This is always, dude, this is insane. It's

8:50

peoples with the worst childhoods

8:52

almost always they're like, my childhood was normal.

8:54

I don't remember any.

8:55

Of it, but it was.

8:56

That's why ever one always questions, fine, I go no, but mine seriously

8:58

was I.

8:58

Go, I don't.

9:00

I don't have time, And I was like, I don't have the time to discuss

9:02

this any further because this is

9:04

actually crazy. Yeah, and there's nothing like seeing

9:07

your mother's behavior reflected

9:09

in the eyes of your friends and loved ones

9:11

around you. And then for

9:13

the first time, you're like, wait, is that

9:15

fucked up? Was that fucked up the whole time?

9:18

Yep, it was.

9:19

And Third, I was booking a solo trip to travel

9:21

to California when I was twenty one. I was going to stay

9:23

in a hostel in San Diego and do a little bit of traveling

9:26

while I was there. She was on board at

9:28

first, trying to push through her anxieties.

9:30

You're fucking twenty one, like

9:33

she needs her she's putting

9:35

her tit in your mouth. But eventually,

9:37

two weeks before the trip, she broke down crying and begged

9:39

me not to go because she was so anxious and

9:41

thought I was naive and people would take advantage

9:44

of me like her, Yeah, exactly, She's

9:46

fucking projecting.

9:47

I decided to cancel the trip.

9:48

Mmm, you were young

9:51

because she was in such a state until I

9:53

came to my senses and decided to have the

9:56

adventure over.

9:58

To protect her feelings. Okay, so how old are

10:00

you know? Twenty one? Twenty one? Oh you're still twenty

10:02

one now? Oh no, no, no, no.

10:05

Okay, keep in mind, these

10:07

are the big three I can remember, So technically

10:10

these could have been the most traumatic points in our relationship.

10:12

Nope, if you can't remember them, they weren't.

10:14

Uh but as an adult

10:16

now, I don't know if all these things listed above weren't

10:18

a low contact almost no contact at

10:20

this point relationship.

10:22

Well, the things are.

10:22

So if these are the there or three things that stand out, these

10:24

behavior like she's these these

10:27

can't be isolated because these, to me

10:29

show so much more about who she is and

10:31

how she interacted with you as

10:34

a child, Like she thinks she's like you're an

10:36

extension of her, Like that, Like that, like the

10:38

tattoo and the hair, like her her over

10:40

obsession with your esthetic, like that, that,

10:43

something like that would never be isolated, that would

10:45

leak into every part of your relationship.

10:48

There's no way it couldn't.

10:49

And let me tell you something like, even just a

10:51

critical, overly critical parent, that

10:53

ship's away at your soul. And

10:55

maybe logically you you love

10:58

them in quotes, but really your

11:00

body is reacting. So that's why when you

11:02

said your low contact and don't know why, I'm like, it's

11:04

your body telling you, nah, not this

11:07

bitch. The object the

11:09

objective positive things. She worked a lot

11:11

to provide financially for the family. She

11:13

got me enrolled in extracurriculars. She

11:15

got me tutors for the subjects I was struggling in.

11:17

She got me nice things for birthdays and Christmases.

11:21

She's hangressed with you being perfect. She says that

11:23

to you already. Yeah, she is objectively

11:25

a very caring person well as long as you're

11:28

doing everything.

11:28

She likes.

11:30

Her family really appreciates her. She's

11:33

very generous and selfless. Also note here

11:35

a lot of times like a mother can be one way

11:37

to her daughter and then be a total

11:39

angel to everybody else. Okay, sometimes

11:42

that happens.

11:48

In hindsight, I started feeling distance from her around

11:50

age eighteen and withdrawing from a relationship.

11:52

Subconsciously.

11:53

I was polite and still living at home, but I didn't

11:55

go to her for advice or for a casual

11:57

chat. I spent a lot of time in my room after college.

12:00

This went on for years. I honestly can't remember

12:02

much of our relationship at this time, but I wasn't spending

12:04

loads of time at home, social life, going

12:06

out, et cetera. I met my long term

12:08

boyfriend at age nineteen, so I was spending

12:11

a lot of time with him too. By the time she begged

12:13

me not to go to California, it must have been bad

12:15

because I remember her sobbing saying, I

12:17

wish you knew me when I was your age.

12:19

There it is, we

12:22

would have been best friends.

12:24

Dude, there's nothing worse. The best friend. Mom

12:26

is such a good People think it's a good

12:28

thing. It's like very bad.

12:30

It's very bad. Do you know my mom and I had best friend

12:32

necklaces Christina. I gave him

12:34

to her. Yeah,

12:39

yeah, I knew it would make her happy. I didn't know.

12:41

But at the time, you feel like she was your best friend, because

12:43

I mean, I I feel like my mom is one of my best

12:45

friends.

12:46

But I would never give her best friends.

12:48

No, I did not feel she was my best friend in any

12:50

way, but I was hiding it, but

12:52

like I was an adult, you know, like

12:55

it like so like if you become best

12:57

friends as adults, that's fine, but like if

12:59

anytime your adolescence you feel like

13:01

your mom is your uh and not in

13:03

like.

13:03

A cute see way, it's hard because it's like it's.

13:05

Like Rory and laurl I like that was toxic.

13:07

It's no, it's I'm on the

13:09

third time around watching that series. It's actually

13:12

very toxic. Yeah, they're not speaking

13:14

right now. It's toxic.

13:15

Yeah, it's no.

13:16

When you actually when you like, well, go to

13:18

the inner depths of that show the way I've gone

13:21

every watch I go, this is actually wildly

13:23

unhealthy. By

13:26

the time I moved out of home by age twenty two, I would

13:28

do the duty visit at home every few weeks,

13:31

and I always felt uncomfortable around her at that

13:33

point. This is exactly, well,

13:35

you're younger than me when you started experiencing this, but I

13:38

was basically my body couldn't take being

13:40

around my mother, and I felt really guilty

13:42

about that. And then I would start being a bitch

13:44

to her and she would be like, why are you being

13:46

a bitch, And she wasn't wrong, Like I wasn't being

13:48

polite, but it was because she had chipped away at

13:50

my soul and my bones from

13:53

day one since then that and

13:55

I wouldn't allow myself to see it.

13:56

So I think you're just starting to allow yourself to see these things.

13:59

It was.

14:00

It's like she switched and became a different person. Nah,

14:03

you're probably just realizing she sucked. She was

14:05

overbearrenly caring and helpful and affectionate.

14:07

I found it needy and weird, and it

14:09

made me pull away more.

14:11

Yeah, that'll do that.

14:12

This dynamic continued over the years, and I guess became

14:15

more and more awkward because I just felt no connection

14:17

to her. Yeah, because she's not coming from a place

14:20

of love and actually caring about you or being curious

14:22

about you. I felt uncomfortable with her in

14:24

person and was less and less inclined to reply

14:26

to her messages.

14:27

I can logically see.

14:29

I could see logically that she was working so

14:31

hard to be the main financial provider for the family.

14:34

She admitted in one of our two deep conversations

14:36

that Dad wasn't a very active parent, and

14:39

she felt she had to be the disciplinarian

14:41

and the emotional support and everything

14:44

else.

14:44

I can attest to this.

14:45

As I've said before, Dad was chill.

14:48

Dad's are always chill, and I have no problem

14:51

talking to him now. Ironic will

14:53

I will stop in here and say, I think part

14:56

of growing up is also having

14:58

there's usually one parent who's doing more work,

15:00

and as an adult, as a kid, you

15:02

don't see that. It just seems like one parent

15:05

is like stressed in me and in one parent's chill. Know

15:07

that the chill parent isn't most likely not doing

15:09

enough work in the parenting relationship.

15:11

So like you do have empathy towards

15:13

the parent who had to take on the

15:15

burden, like it wasn't your fault, but like

15:18

I think to have empathy and like realize

15:20

that our parents are human. YEA is a very

15:22

important part of growing up as well. The

15:24

mother tax is fucking awful and one reason

15:26

why I don't want to have kids. I moved

15:29

from the home the UK to Australia

15:31

in twenty twenty two. She has gotten more

15:33

and more needy and clinging, sending me super long

15:36

messages about how she doesn't cope well without

15:38

me, codependent, how

15:40

she thinks I'll never come home, that she

15:42

wants to know why I'm like

15:44

this, Oh God, I'm getting PTSD. Jesus

15:47

fuck yeah. I was like, the why I'm like this? I feel like that your

15:49

mom sent you like that exact message.

15:51

Yep, oh man, Why

15:54

I don't speak to her?

15:55

We have had two big conversations about

15:57

our relationship in the last four years. All

15:59

I can tell her is what I've said above,

16:02

and that therapists have said she didn't

16:04

meet my needs as a child.

16:06

She can. Don't try to make her understand up.

16:07

And that's also like, just like

16:10

that, there is a part of me that, even

16:12

though I am pro therapy, saying,

16:15

what's some therapist who's known you for like a year,

16:17

it tads to your parent who's on your It feels like a fucking

16:19

fuck you.

16:20

There is a there is a.

16:21

That's if I was a parent, and some

16:23

fucking I even know, Like so I haven't had had an ex boyfriend

16:26

who I knew obviously super well, and

16:28

his therapist is sending him home, his

16:30

therapist of like three weeks sending him home with shit about

16:32

me.

16:32

I was like, I will go and fuck your therapist

16:34

up.

16:35

And I said that's I said that to him,

16:37

and actually it was so vindicated because he came back to me

16:39

and he goes, yeah, that therapist actually sucks. I go, well,

16:41

good because I said, I said, I

16:43

said, I have a message for your therapist. Tell her

16:45

to go fuck herself. And I said, literally, please

16:48

tell her that.

16:49

And I think maybe he did. Fisher.

16:50

I hope he did. I said, she unqualified.

16:53

Get the nice fuck out of my face. So

16:55

I just, you know, again, put

16:58

yourself again. I'm not saying don't, but

17:00

I just think that we have to really work

17:02

the empathy in some ways. Yeah, I will say when I

17:05

worked with a trauma I worked with a trauma specialist

17:08

therapist for a really long time, and

17:10

when I was talking to her about my mother, I was still

17:13

on the cusp of like, well, this wasn't traumatic.

17:15

It was She was like, your mom tried to

17:17

kill your herself every time you had a milestone.

17:20

And I was like, yeah, but she's ill.

17:21

And it's like she still didn't paint

17:24

my mother as an evil person. She wasn't

17:26

even like you should go no contract.

17:27

She didn't. She didn't say tell me what to

17:29

do.

17:30

Sure, she just recognized that, like it's it's

17:32

important to need for your mother to see

17:34

and hear you as a child, and it's also

17:36

important to recognize the ways that she damaged

17:38

you. So it's like, you know, there's a lot of layers here. Well, or

17:40

she wasn't even she wasn't actually even gonna kill herself. She was

17:43

just trying to take your spotlight away from you when

17:45

you had when you reached your milestone.

17:47

She go, but I reached a milestone too.

17:49

You know.

17:50

That's like, that's like such a that's like that's like a boyfriend

17:52

who starts a fight on like an important night

17:54

of your life. Yeah, that's that same

17:57

behavior. It's it's, oh, this is too much about

17:59

you back to me. Yep, dude,

18:01

yeah, obnoxious. She takes accountability

18:04

for being so volatile with me as a teen

18:07

about how controlling she was.

18:08

Well, that's really nice that she took accountability.

18:10

She truly apologizes and doesn't try to deflect

18:12

or deny how I feel about things.

18:14

That's fantastic.

18:15

She and I both understand how those seemingly

18:18

minor things have they're not minor, have

18:20

caused me to feel so uncomfortable around

18:22

her. Most people just suck it up and speak

18:24

to their parents. My quote, trauma is not

18:26

even anything compared to actual abuse or neglect

18:28

or manipulation.

18:29

It doesn't matter how comparing

18:32

traumas.

18:33

Yes, we can objectively say that, you know, getting

18:35

raped as a child is worse than your mom being bipolar,

18:38

I get on paper, sure, but it could

18:40

also actually affect a person

18:42

a similar way.

18:43

Do you know what I mean?

18:44

Like it's like it's pain you were going

18:46

through pain from an abusive parent.

18:48

Yes, there are layers, but I just want to remind you of that.

18:50

I don't understand why I have such a visuural

18:52

reaction to her. I've tried to suck it up

18:55

and call her a slash see her so many times, but after

18:57

a couple of minutes, I feel so withdrawn into

18:59

myself. I just want it over and

19:01

can barely speak speaking my

19:03

language. Girl, I feel I'm unfortunately a lot

19:05

like her in my relationship with my partner, too

19:08

controlling and anxiously attached. These

19:11

are That's great to be aware of that because these are

19:13

things that can absolutely be worked on, so it's

19:15

not a death sentence. I'm open to hypnotherapy

19:17

to see if something truly traumatic happened that I

19:19

just don't remember, but I honestly can't

19:22

see that being the case. Well, if you

19:24

don't remember years of your childhood, I

19:26

think that's a clue that something

19:28

something's there. Well, also, before we get to hypnotherapy,

19:31

to me, the first thing that I'm saying is like, can

19:33

you go to the couple's therapy with your

19:35

mom? Like if she's like if she's at

19:37

least she's so she's at least acknowledging it, Like

19:39

and she you know, it seems like she's like

19:42

being semi receptive. Why not

19:44

go to zoom therapy together, like the

19:46

way the way you would to couple's therapy.

19:47

Like to me, it's like.

19:48

Any relationship that you want to work on, if

19:50

the other person will show up with.

19:52

You, why not. Yeah, And Zoom's a great idea

19:54

because then you don't have to be in the same room with her.

19:56

They have to live in different countries anyway, by yeah,

19:58

right right, because UK, I'll try, but yeah, like and I

20:00

and at least you know, because it seems like you're not ready

20:02

to like completely give up, and like

20:05

I you know, I

20:07

you know, for me with like you know, relationships, I'm like just

20:09

leave immediately, but like this is the only mom,

20:11

So like I would say, I would try a little harder

20:14

with this one before I decide

20:16

not to talk to them, And if ultimately

20:18

that's the best decision for you, that's the best decision for you. But

20:20

like, yeah, why not go to fucking whatever

20:22

they call mom daughter? I mean, don't

20:24

call it couples therapy. That's a whole another therapy

20:26

session. But yeah, well it's it's family counseling.

20:28

Family. There you go, family counseling. If

20:31

it's truly just what.

20:32

I explained in this email, how can I tell her that

20:34

although she did everything.

20:35

She could, it wasn't enough.

20:37

How can I tell her that my body fills with

20:39

anxiety when I see a message from her.

20:41

How am I managing life just fine

20:43

without her? I mean that's because you're an adult. Yeah,

20:46

I mean the part where you said, like, you know, you get older

20:48

and you stopped asking her for advice. I mean that's just normal

20:50

becoming an adult. Like I did that too, because

20:52

at a certain point you have to fucking cut the umbilical

20:54

cord, right, But it also seems like, you

20:57

know, her crying and saying I'm lost without

20:59

you.

20:59

You're never gonna a Yeah, that's familiar.

21:01

It's called a therapist call that familial

21:03

incest when the parent treats

21:05

the child like the child is their parent. So

21:08

she's leaning on you in a completely inappropriate

21:10

way. That's weird, and that could

21:13

be a huge reason why your body is not comfortable

21:15

around her. I can tell you the last three

21:17

or four times that I saw my mother in person, I

21:20

wanted to fucking crawl out of my skin

21:22

and burn it. I kept like it

21:24

was so and I was still confused. I'm

21:26

like, what is wrong with me? How

21:28

any sort of relationship feels awkward for us, unnatural,

21:31

and how every interaction is just painfully uncomfortable.

21:34

I can only bear to message her maybe

21:36

once every month or two. She's calling

21:38

me every day, even even though

21:40

I asked her if we could only have a monthly message

21:42

back and forth to update each other on what's going on

21:45

in our lives. She has She hasn't respect

21:47

your boundaries, and that's it's

21:49

not enough for her.

21:50

She wants more.

21:51

I avoid seeing messages from her, avoid

21:53

talking to her, avoid even my lovely

21:56

grandma and Dad's messages because the whole family

21:58

is so stuck on why I who won't

22:00

speak to her?

22:01

And I know they will ask about it.

22:03

Yeah, I lost. I mean I have a very.

22:05

Small family, but I don't talk to

22:07

some of them because of that.

22:09

I don't know if I even want a relationship with her.

22:11

You don't because I can manage my life just fine

22:13

without her, and contact with her is so painful.

22:15

If I do decide to spend thousands of dollars on therapy

22:18

just to be able to have contact with her, it wouldn't

22:20

be for my benefit, it would be for hers. I'm glad

22:23

you said that any insight would be appreciated.

22:25

Love a loyal fucker.

22:27

I don't think it would be thousands of dollars if

22:30

you I'll just financially.

22:32

It depends. I mean, like, do you have insurance?

22:34

You know?

22:35

Again, like if you already made the decision, you've

22:37

already made the decision.

22:38

Yeah, And I do agree with Kurt. I think it's as

22:40

somebody who's not I go no contact

22:43

with both of my parents.

22:44

I think that I

22:47

had to do everything for me personally. I

22:49

had Like the last time I saw her, I went down

22:51

to their place technically mine too,

22:53

because I own half of it. That's where all my money is. Where

22:57

I try to have a conversation. And I told myself,

22:59

I pret myself very very very

23:03

intently that I wanted to

23:05

be calm, I wanted to be kind, I

23:07

wanted to listen, and I wanted to speak

23:09

with integrity and not stray from my own morals

23:12

and values. Meaning I didn't want to act like a bitch. I didn't want to

23:14

yell. I made it rule with my I've made many

23:16

rules with myself. I stuck to all

23:18

those rules. I drove home screamed,

23:21

crying the whole way. It just wasn't

23:23

it wasn't. She su

23:26

Her head was so up her own ass

23:29

of how can I be the terrible mother? How

23:31

can she just needed me to validate that she

23:33

was a good mom. And it's like, well, you weren't. You

23:35

tried your best. You absolutely tried your

23:37

best, and I really appreciate that. Sometimes

23:40

people's best suck. And the

23:43

thing, the thing that really breaks

23:46

my heart is you can still do a

23:48

really shitty job as a parent. But if you own up

23:50

to it and you say I fucked up and

23:52

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

23:54

I hope one day you can forgive me. There's

23:57

no hope.

23:57

So your mom seems to have times

24:00

where she's recognizing her but

24:03

I will say this and my mom did this to me, it

24:05

could be a fucking trap because she says

24:07

I'm sorry and then you go, okay, I will

24:09

have a converse. That's why sasually a mediator should

24:11

be there in a therapist. Yeah, because I

24:13

agree with you, Like yeah, but that that I agree

24:16

with that. That's the same thing that I saw as like this

24:18

like little morsel of hope, was the fact that

24:20

she did acknowledge that she was not a good

24:22

parent and she apologized for it, and she like held space

24:24

for her daughter in that.

24:25

That's huge. That's absolutely huge.

24:27

But yeah, I've heard enough,

24:30

I've read enough about healthy interactions with parent

24:32

and child where I'm like, wait, is this.

24:33

What parents are supposed to do?

24:35

God damn, And

24:37

I think it's a big, big, big, big, big,

24:40

huge blinking red light that

24:42

your body doesn't want anything to

24:44

do with her to me, Ugh, that's

24:47

yeah.

24:48

Yeah, I guess.

24:49

My only hesitation is it just seems like it's become more

24:51

and more popular to like not talk to your parents

24:53

to the point where it's like I feel like, oh, yeah.

24:55

I don't know anybody.

24:57

It's it's like when she talks about the online space, like it's

25:00

really common you'll see influencers all the time talking

25:02

about it, right, and so not that it's

25:04

like never, of course, sometimes it's like the best

25:06

solution. But I feel

25:08

like in modern society, we've we've

25:11

and I think a lot of it is because of politics. We

25:14

have, like younger generations

25:16

have been taught or trained or

25:18

like given the okay that when like a

25:21

relationship isn't going well, just

25:23

to detach and like even when you

25:25

know, there's this notion of like, if you don't agree

25:27

with your family's politics, don't show up

25:29

to Thanksgiving or Christmas, And like, I

25:31

just don't think that's the way to

25:34

go about life, to just continue because

25:36

to me, that's like that's like this, let me excuse

25:38

the term, but that's the snowflake approach

25:40

to only a being around people who

25:43

share the same values and opinions as

25:45

you. And I mean, you guys fucking know I have a whole show

25:47

about doing literally not that and

25:50

so all on the extreme side of it, but I just

25:53

like it's a

25:55

you know, you have to take giving up a

25:58

singular relationship in

26:00

your life, like this is the only mom you'll ever

26:02

have, right, so like just take

26:04

that seriously, Yeah, that's all there

26:06

is, and I think you are, but

26:08

I would give it a little bit like more thought,

26:11

especially especially because at the beginning when you said,

26:13

like, I've been taking in a lot of online

26:16

content, Yeah, maybe stop that.

26:18

Yeah, And I think that. I also

26:20

think that I feel.

26:22

Really, really, really really good

26:24

every single day about my decision

26:26

to not talk to my parents. But one of the reasons why

26:28

I feel so good about it is because I

26:30

did everything that I could

26:33

to see if there was any hope of mending.

26:36

I suggested therapy, she didn't want to do

26:38

it. I came down to

26:40

travel to them to explain myself

26:42

calmly and confidently, and I got

26:44

the same things back, and I

26:46

got the no recognition, and I'm like, okay, all right.

26:48

And then you know, by the time your mom says,

26:51

well, if I kill myself, it's your fault, You're like.

26:53

That's a wrap on you. Nance to

26:56

wrap on you.

26:58

So it is helpful to like,

27:00

do do the best that you can, and

27:02

then you'll feel much more secure in your decision if

27:04

you don't want to if you want to cut contact, you'll

27:06

feel like, Yep, that is absolutely the right choice.

27:08

Sounds like she's got like a very fear

27:11

based. The mom has a very fear based

27:13

sense of life. I mean, just the controlling.

27:16

Don't be in the position I was in. I just kind

27:18

of had a similar relationship with my dad

27:21

for a few years in high school and

27:23

like kind of like what do you do? It

27:26

was like very much so like every

27:28

conversation revolved around like you're never gonna make

27:30

money all that type of stuff. And

27:32

then honestly, like how I

27:35

like got past that because like we have a great relationship

27:37

now. Was like I just started like

27:39

trolling him and like every like.

27:42

Every methods are very interesting eric, but.

27:44

Like every time he would he would

27:47

try to like take the conversation

27:49

in that direction, I would just kind

27:51

of like point out like the like how

27:53

silly he's being, and

27:56

yeah, exactly, And it definitely

27:59

help as far as as far as

28:01

like it's like you realize, this is so

28:04

ridiculous for you to be saying this to be as like

28:06

an adult. And then that quickly,

28:09

you know, I also like started making more money

28:11

and than that pretty much shut them up.

28:14

Yeah, parents are like and I know it's coming from a place

28:16

of protection, but even my parents were like this like over overly

28:19

obsessed with like oh no, you're never gonna

28:21

make money.

28:22

And I go listen.

28:23

I know you're not inside my my wild

28:25

mind, but I'm like, listen, you know, I'm Corine

28:27

Fisher. I did I get what needs to be

28:29

done done. I handle it all. So just

28:32

everyone fucking relax. Yeah, I've

28:34

been like this the whole guy. Damn time, Like it's

28:36

just stop whatever. Parents

28:38

are gonna worry about you, and of course they're gonna be control for you

28:40

because they probably don't want you to be hurt like they've been

28:42

hurt. But it's like, yeah, you're I agree with

28:44

Eric and that, like, your mother is definitely coming from

28:46

a place of absolute fear. It's it's driving, it's

28:49

driving her every reaction with you,

28:52

but not respecting the boundaries. The

28:54

thing like to me, I'm like, was she I

28:56

don't know what her relationship was like with her mother something

28:59

there?

29:00

You know, we had

29:02

my mom.

29:02

When we had my mom on the podcast years and years

29:04

and years ago, she told us that she was sexually

29:07

assaulted when.

29:08

She was eleven.

29:09

Sure, and that made me go, oh, that's why

29:11

you left the restaurant when I was sixteen after

29:13

asking if I was a virgin, and I didn't want to lie to you, so

29:15

I said, no, I'm not a virgin, and you just fucking

29:17

left and abandoned me and didn't talk to me for two weeks.

29:20

It's not cool, But now I have

29:22

some understanding as to why that happened.

29:25

You just didn't want me being a sexual

29:27

person.

29:28

You were fearing that I was going to get assaulted, and

29:30

that you were reacting to the idea

29:32

of your daughter being sexually assaulted. And of course

29:34

no reaction is going to be good when that's the place

29:36

is coming from. So yes, your mom is operating out

29:38

of fear, but it's also her responsibility to get

29:41

to the bottom of it. Yeah, And I mean, just

29:43

in general, I've been thinking about this concept a lot, Like embarking

29:46

on parenthood in general means you're basically

29:48

setting yourself up to be a failure, right because

29:50

even if you overall your child has

29:52

a good experience, like, there's going to be a way in

29:55

which you failed that child. And like,

29:57

I mean, that's kind of on my

30:00

long list of disinterested in having a child.

30:02

It's like, why would I just start a project that

30:04

I know in some way I'm going to fail at? This

30:06

doesn't sound good?

30:07

At all.

30:08

This sounds terrible.

30:09

I'm going to create someone and go through like all

30:12

this pain and like physical trauma so

30:14

that someone can be paying someone every

30:16

week to talk about a way in which I failed them.

30:18

I'm good, No, thank you, I'm

30:21

good. Yeah. So yeah,

30:24

that's that's good luck. You're

30:26

going to figure it.

30:27

Out,

30:34

guys, after you come see us on May eleventh,

30:36

Well, this is before May eleventh. If you're in

30:38

Springfield, Missouri, raise

30:40

the roof and come see me headline in the Blue

30:43

Room at March March twenty second. In March twenty

30:45

third, you can sign

30:47

up for my Patreon. There's a twenty

30:49

two dollars level for that. Once a week

30:52

you can get on a zoom with me. We'll all

30:54

chat about our problems. And I really love these zooms.

30:56

I love them so much. I love hearing about other people's

30:58

issues. I love that it's

31:00

a group of strangers that cut

31:03

all the small talk and just get right to

31:05

it. I really appreciate that because I hate small

31:07

talk because it makes me cringe and it

31:09

makes me feel more connected to humanity.

31:11

I really like these zooms, So you could sign up for that.

31:13

There's also five dollars month level

31:15

where you could just listen to the audio from those zooms and

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my other podcast, it's a solo podcast called

31:20

The Voices in Our Heads. I'm doing a deep dive into Rjspeen

31:23

is Supercharged self hearing. I'm

31:25

reading a couple pages of every podcast episode

31:28

of each chapter, and I'm continuing those readings

31:31

on the Patreon so that

31:33

you can listen to both day of if you want five

31:35

bucks a month, it's patreon dot com slash

31:37

Christina Hutchinson. And

31:40

then the Eye of the Tiger Tour,

31:42

my tour for twenty twenty four has

31:44

officially been announced. If you didn't already

31:46

hear, Cloela Branch will

31:48

be featuring on all of these dates. We

31:50

kind of did the last trial

31:54

gig in Washington, DC and it

31:57

was so fun. It went swimmingly. So

32:00

here, get a pen, get a piece of paper,

32:02

write this in your iPhone.

32:03

Pull the car over. You're gonna want to be at these

32:06

cities.

32:06

A lot of these are one night er, so buy these tickets sooner

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rather than later, because they're most

32:11

I'm not adding anything because I gotta be somewhere the next day,

32:13

all right. Tampa, Florida, April

32:15

seventeenth, Miami April eighteenth,

32:18

Atlanta April nineteenth and twentieth,

32:20

Columbus, Ohio, April twenty fifth,

32:22

Raleigh, North Carolina, April thirtieth, Philadelphia

32:25

May first, Boston May second,

32:27

Portland, Oregon, May fourteenth, San

32:30

Francisco May fifteenth, Sacramento

32:32

May sixteenth, Seattle May

32:34

seventeenth, Houston, Texas June

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twenty seventh, Austin, Texas

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June twenty eighth and twenty ninth, and Salt Lake

32:40

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32:42

Tickets available at.

32:43

Corinfisher dot com and also

32:45

if you're inting on Instagram, you can just go to the link

32:48

tree link in my bio. My handle

32:50

is Philanthropy Gal. And

32:52

of course you can listen to my weekly news

32:55

and politics podcast where we try

32:57

to find more similarities than differences

32:59

between the and the left, and that

33:01

it's called Without a Country.

33:03

Every Wednesday night.

33:04

Those episodes drop on YouTube and everywhere

33:06

you listened to podcasts. It's extremely

33:08

fun. You know, check out my Katie Britt response

33:11

to the response. It's

33:14

been pretty fun.

33:15

Eric.

33:15

Are you going on the road.

33:16

Yeah, yeah, As matter of fact, I'm going

33:18

to Edmonton, Vancouver,

33:20

PLANEO Phoenix in Minneapolis

33:23

this summer, So come get

33:25

the tickets. That links the in my

33:27

bio on Instagram.

33:29

I feel like if you left that as a voice message,

33:31

it would say in parentheses on Apple low

33:34

confidence.

33:37

I feel like I give that vibe off a lot,

33:39

and it's just because I'm tired, lazy

33:41

talker.

33:42

Oh yeah, I mean you're just your overwork. You're

33:44

tired. I'll get that.

33:45

I'm not even tired. I got a bunch of sleep

33:47

last night. I slept on

33:49

the plane and then I slept all night.

33:51

Yeah, but you're over six feet tall. How good can your

33:53

plane sleep be?

33:54

It was great?

33:55

Yes, really, wow, I sleep

33:57

the night before and that I had forty milig

34:00

edibles and I had a six hours.

34:03

Yeah, it's a normal amount.

34:06

Ten oh the twenty

34:08

maybe do like

34:10

a five milligram and I smoke weed every

34:12

day.

34:13

Oh, edibles.

34:14

Everybody's different with edibles though, And you're

34:16

tall guy, I guess so, but forty

34:19

that's wild.

34:19

But hey, it affects people differently.

34:22

Whatever you do, you do all right.

34:25

Before we get to our guest, I was I was have like

34:27

a sex tip, okay,

34:30

because now I'm fucking all the time because I'm a huge

34:32

dirty horror No something that I realized.

34:35

I'm like, what a simple thing to do that

34:37

like really puts in the moment.

34:40

Just fuck a little slower, like

34:42

just like really slow. This

34:44

is because you're in love. If you're not in love,

34:46

do not do this, I will call the police.

34:49

No.

34:49

But meaning like, okay, so if he's on the

34:51

bottom and I'm on top, which is my favorite position,

34:53

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good one.

34:55

If you go.

34:56

Really slow, oh my god,

34:58

it's so much hotter, if you feels so

35:00

much better.

35:01

It's wild. Never thought to do it.

35:03

I was always like you never thought to do it,

35:05

like really slow. It's like it's like teasing

35:08

yourself with a it's fucking yeah.

35:10

No great if you love the person, horrifying.

35:13

If it's casual sex, oh.

35:14

Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah

35:19

yeah, it's been done to me. Yeah,

35:22

I guess. If there's no connection, don't do that.

35:26

Sorry.

35:26

If you do have, if you are in a relationship, let's

35:29

just save it for relationship sex. Tips

35:32

just going really slow.

35:34

It's crazy how it's

35:36

makes a huge difference. It's a totally different

35:38

type of sex, totally different type of like a connection.

35:41

Yeah yeah, but even more than it just physically

35:43

it feels good.

35:44

It's just so much hotter. It's I couldn't

35:46

believe I've been doing this whole time. Well it could that be under

35:48

the umbrella of Tantrick, just because

35:51

I guess so I'm wanting to get into that because

35:53

I'm very curious. It just

35:55

seems like who has the time? I know Sing was

35:57

doing it because he was already famous.

35:58

Yeah he had. Yeah, he had his

36:01

assistant to do and all the other sh right, when

36:04

you have an assistant, Yeah, he hasn't got to watch

36:06

himself for clips.

36:08

But yeah, this thing is one of my main influences

36:10

of why I wanted to get into it.

36:12

I still do. Who doesn't want to be a little

36:14

bit more like sting? Come on, get

36:16

a top hat? What a guy's top hats?

36:19

Oh?

36:19

Maybe I'm taking out you're.

36:21

Thinking of Slash And I knew he was saying, I got

36:23

I fucking young gun

36:25

over here is thinking of Slash.

36:27

Not even at all similar the

36:30

s Fields of Gold. Who's the

36:32

police, Eric, get out of the studio? Oh

36:36

okay, you know that, Yeah he goes.

36:38

You know, my mom used to play.

36:40

Police Connected collected

36:43

vinyls.

36:44

When he went through his cool boy

36:46

face.

36:47

That was really cool.

36:49

Glad you're shirts too shirt.

36:52

Yeah, well

36:54

speaking also selling acid to be.

36:56

Fair selling acid just

36:58

nark yourself to the government. That

37:01

was a joke. Everyone, we're

37:03

all coming. How much did it cost? That's

37:07

cheap? Is that it exper one tab?

37:09

Yeah?

37:10

Oh is that good price?

37:12

I don't know.

37:12

I've always gotten mind for free because I don't take it from

37:15

it. I won't get it from unless I like know the

37:17

person. Yeah, and they've done actively done

37:19

that kind of acid. Yeah, like they're kind of like

37:21

making themselves. Some never really

37:23

done it. I have this spray and I tried it like a little

37:25

micro does, but I didn't feel anything aid.

37:27

I asked it again. Amazing, but like just very

37:30

time consuming. Who has twelve hours? I don't

37:32

like that part.

37:32

That's why I barely like because you're stuck.

37:34

And I was supposed to get these nails fixed

37:36

days ago, and I'm like, I don't want to sit still.

37:38

I can't. Sorry, it's just this is gonna

37:40

be like this.

37:41

Yeah, I want to podcast.

37:44

Why don't you listen to a podcast when you getting in nails done?

37:47

Were taking acid?

37:49

Everyone does it. They don't want to talk to you.

37:51

They want to talk about you, and they like when

37:53

your headphones are out. Oh yes, they can be like fucking

37:56

girl with a mustache or whatever, like your old

37:58

like your old joke.

38:01

Christina doesn't have a mustache. Everyone I do.

38:04

But yeah, when I see

38:06

other girls there on their headphones or like

38:08

they're talking to somebody else, they're

38:10

talking on a phone, they should be executed. But that's

38:13

when they're talking and it's on speaker.

38:16

I'll just look at the beach next to me in the nail

38:18

chair.

38:19

Talking on speaker, and I'm like, how

38:21

do you sleep at night? No, that's crazy.

38:22

How do you fucking sleep at night? If your house is

38:25

being robbed? Would you be aware of it? Because you

38:27

are so not self aware? No, that's crazy.

38:29

But I mean because it's like when you have your headphones out,

38:31

you're not You're not having a ongoing conversation

38:33

with these women, are you?

38:34

No?

38:34

But I'm just trying to be present with them.

38:37

And you know, you can still

38:39

I think, be president and have headphones in. I mean, like

38:41

you know, like if they give you like a gup of water, like after

38:43

they give you the little back massage, go back.

38:45

In the thank you.

38:46

Yeah, you know, I see.

38:48

Yeah, they don't want to have a conversation with you. I

38:50

don't think they. Yeah, no, they They like

38:52

to compliment the color. They like to say, oh wow, that

38:54

is nice color.

38:55

Yeah you like that color?

38:56

Yeah?

38:56

Yeah, me too. Okay, I see yah. That's it. That's all

38:58

that we need to do. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, yeah,

39:01

you know, ls, it's fine. Today's guests.

39:03

Both of our guests, yes too. Oh my god.

39:06

One of them.

39:07

Is a dare i say, legendary

39:09

stand up comedian and my

39:11

title for him is filthy gentleman.

39:14

Uh and his beautiful

39:16

lovely wife. He

39:18

could be a stand up comedian. Yeah, so funny.

39:21

She's very funny.

39:22

And you could track their adventures

39:24

in love and marriage the

39:27

YouTube. Everyone

39:31

in comedy is Jim, and all

39:34

of a sudden, it was like, Jim's married.

39:37

He's smiling and like, you guys are everywhere,

39:39

and your love emanates from the

39:41

videos that I've seen in and it makes me very

39:43

happy. I'm sure you've talked

39:45

about this already, but I'm curious. How'd you guys meet?

39:48

It was online?

39:49

An online relationship for like almost

39:51

a year a year, recorded

39:54

for a year, seven months.

39:55

Because we we're going to have her come visit, and

39:57

we've been facetiming every day, but they they wouldn't

40:00

a ring of a minor pot charge. So we wound

40:02

up just becoming like face timing every

40:04

day. And then I booked gigs in Oslo.

40:07

Oh you're from Oslo, she's from Norway.

40:08

Yeah.

40:09

Coolah, that's why

40:11

your skin is perfect. Yeah.

40:12

Well I'm very pale, I feel, and.

40:14

I love it. It's just it's best. Thanks

40:16

so much. I used to do spray tans, but now I'm going to try

40:19

to be pale for.

40:19

A little while.

40:20

Pale's a great hail. Hail's a great

40:22

look.

40:22

Thank you.

40:23

So you were face timing from and you were in Oo. So you were facetiming

40:25

for about every day.

40:26

Yeah, like for seven months. I booked gigs, we met

40:28

for the first time, and then she came to Amsterdam for two

40:31

days. But I know, and then I knew,

40:33

I like, I really like her in person.

40:34

Wait a year a year of tea

40:36

like teasing, like that's got to be

40:38

by the time you finally were face to face, did you just

40:40

explode?

40:41

Did your balls explode?

40:42

Like many times.

40:45

Who were asking but

40:49

not like no, I think we like to eat first. Because

40:51

I didn't want to just be like.

40:53

The first man whoever took me on to day. It was

40:55

very special to me. Jim is a great man.

40:58

Yeah. We went to uh either

41:00

lunch or something which with dinner.

41:01

To thak dinner.

41:02

That's the first time I was ever on a day,

41:05

but first time ever, first time ever in

41:07

my life.

41:07

I was what nineteen, Yeah, my

41:09

first.

41:10

Man right right after that eighteen market.

41:12

Yeah there to

41:16

get condoms.

41:17

Well, young women.

41:17

We were just had a good conversation with an earlier interview. When

41:20

you're when you're fourteen fifteen s that you lie

41:22

about her, Oh my god all the time, and it's

41:24

like he he I knew he was an old

41:26

man.

41:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that are you into

41:29

older?

41:29

I love mature man.

41:30

Sure, sure, it's a great way.

41:33

Why I always I've described him, we've had him on the podcast before

41:36

as like a filthy gentleman, which I think

41:38

is like a perfect line for a man.

41:40

Like it's just it's a great The

41:43

world is your oyster. You can go anywhere from there.

41:45

Yeah.

41:45

I love being Jim's wife is fabulous.

41:47

It's weird to be married, like real liked.

41:49

Do you ever think that he would get married.

41:51

No, nont, I just didn't think you were interested.

41:53

It seems like the man who would get married.

41:55

Well, I mean when you say he's a great man, like that to

41:57

me is not surprising at all. I think because

42:00

of your comedy, a lot of people would think that you are

42:02

a certain way, but like you can be kinky

42:04

and sexually explorative.

42:06

Any good human being.

42:07

And I remember, like years ago when we interviewed

42:09

for you for the first time, I was like, oh, this is like a really

42:11

good person.

42:12

Yeah, so that that doesn't surprise me that someone

42:15

would want to marry him.

42:15

But I guess, yeah, like it seems like you meet like being

42:18

free sexually, I guess so's it's.

42:20

Marriage doesn't stop that necessarily.

42:22

No, I mean, I mean, and we're monogamous, Like it's

42:24

weird.

42:24

Like I've been such a ship boyfriend, traditional

42:27

wife.

42:27

But I don't want to. I don't want to open relationship.

42:29

I couldn't do. I'm fifty five, I

42:32

can't.

42:33

And Jim was also in a point of his life

42:35

where he was ready to settle. I I

42:38

think he was looking for a partner and

42:41

we were way better match than neither

42:43

of us knew.

42:44

But I didn't even know if I was looking for somebody, like I remember

42:46

looking at her whis we were talking one time, I'm like, I'm

42:48

going to marry her, like we always like I'm going to marry her,

42:50

like I said it to myself before

42:53

we met. But then I'm like, you don't know if you meet,

42:55

what if you don't have chemistry, what if you don't like each other.

42:57

And you can't tell you're like a might being nuts

42:59

here because like every time, yeah, have.

43:01

You ever said that before?

43:02

Oh?

43:03

Yeah, because I said it before and the guy. I looked

43:05

back at the guy and I'm.

43:05

Like, yeah,

43:07

yeah, when I was like being dirty

43:10

love bombing.

43:11

But that's from what happened to us, because when

43:14

I first saw him in the elevator, I was like, oh,

43:16

I thought he would have maybe like a small dick like

43:18

I don't know, but then he really

43:21

charmed me on and I really did fall in love

43:23

about after that dinner, I really catched

43:26

on real feelings.

43:27

Yeah, it was hard to determine beforehand,

43:30

like how much of this was just lust or because

43:32

until you meet, you have no idea what.

43:35

I also used to live my whole life behind

43:37

closed doors, like I was never out in public

43:39

with another man ever, really no,

43:41

because because I'm transgenders for

43:43

me, and especially being in my hometown and not

43:46

in New York and like America.

43:47

Right in New York it's we except everybody,

43:49

whatever your thing is.

43:50

I love in New York, but being home in Norway, it's

43:52

so much difference.

43:53

How is it in Norway with transgender?

43:55

Well, for me, I feel like it's

43:58

it's it's hard because I'm from a village, so

44:01

there's cows and there's mooing. There's not so

44:03

many trans people, so when you're

44:05

trans there everyone knows each other.

44:08

I just don't feel that accepted in my hometown.

44:10

That's just why it is. People look at me start.

44:13

Me like you're like, it feels like you're a trans

44:15

person, not Nikki, just not with respect.

44:18

Interesting, Okay, it's.

44:19

Too different there, like and a lot of guys are

44:21

afraid to go out in public. They don't want to be seen like

44:24

they.

44:24

Want so they will let you know by

44:27

I.

44:27

Don't know how, like what what the what's

44:30

the vibe of the people there, like not very accepting

44:32

love.

44:33

I mean, I guess they're pretty liberal people.

44:36

I just feel like being a very liberal

44:38

paradise, as they call it. I think maybe a bit more

44:40

conservative mindset. Yeah, and maybe

44:42

it's because I'm Norwegian and I look so Norwegian

44:44

and they can tell, oh, this is something else than just

44:46

a Norwegian girl, right,

44:48

there's something else under there.

44:51

Something substantial. Yes,

44:56

yeah, but they're not. They're nice people, but they're also

44:58

very no. No, I love my very

45:00

much, very to the point, very

45:03

direct, and it just seems kind

45:05

of rude sometimes. But I think that's just a direct like like

45:07

Russians are like that. I'm sure, you

45:09

know, just blather out

45:11

like the whole country is on the spectrum.

45:14

That's a great Waybut Nikki, how are your parents

45:17

like with with like?

45:18

Have my parents love me so

45:20

much? I have great parents, my mom and my dad so

45:22

accepting.

45:23

They love Jim.

45:24

We met Jim on Christmas. We spent

45:26

two Christmases together. Yeah, we

45:29

love You're a real family, the Nortons.

45:32

That's cue.

45:33

It's they're nice people. Her dad, her

45:35

real dad, I didn't meet for a while, but

45:37

her mom and her stepdad and uh yeah, I get

45:39

along well with her family and my family loves her like

45:41

I had great I had to talk in twenty seventeen

45:44

with them. I'm like, we had did. We had just

45:46

started talking. I think around there and I'm

45:48

like, look, this is girl I met, and

45:50

I just said, look, she's transgender and whatever.

45:53

She asked you if you were gay?

45:54

Are you gay? I think she asked

45:56

me that on the phone, but I had to have dinner with

45:58

them, and like, because I wasn't.

46:00

How did you say? Like, well, how did that conversation go?

46:02

I'm curious, like what did you say to her to be like mom?

46:06

I talked on the phone and I said, no,

46:08

I'm not gay. I'm like, but it ain't straight. I mean, I

46:11

didn't need to say that to me. You know,

46:12

they didn't ask if you had.

46:14

So many people have they probably wanted to.

46:17

That's the first thing people want to know.

46:19

I guess.

46:19

So yeah, many people are like Jim

46:21

just doesn't admit that he's not gay. But

46:24

it's like it's a different thing. I feel, it's

46:26

not like attracted to just men.

46:28

There's also like like Bailey j

46:30

was one of my favorite porns.

46:32

Yeah, so hot.

46:33

Her look is so huge and I'm like, well,

46:36

I remember when I first saw her. I was like WHOA,

46:38

Like I am this is all the things that

46:40

I truly these

46:43

kitties are just like this is she have great

46:45

tips, great dick, and

46:47

I'm like, good for you girls.

46:49

Pretty face, gorgeous face.

46:52

Yeah, great act.

46:53

Bailey is a home run.

46:54

Probably got a great heart too, but boy, her body

46:57

is.

46:58

She's a good friend. I've had her like host projects

47:00

with me, Like I did a show on Vice and

47:02

Bailey was my co host, like my announcer and my co

47:04

host, and I did something else and she was

47:06

my co host. Yeah, she's great.

47:08

I love that.

47:08

She's really funny. I haven't

47:10

seen her in a long time, but her and her husband our

47:12

friends. But yeah, it's not if I was a homosexual

47:15

and I just like Ben, I would tell you exactly.

47:18

One thing about you that I love so much is like you accept

47:20

yourself without question and

47:22

it's like how everybody should behave. But you

47:24

also have these extreme like desires that you like

47:26

and you're like, yeah, I'm fine with that too, Like you're fine with yourself,

47:29

yeah, which.

47:30

I wish more people would be. But

47:32

I'm interested. Nikki.

47:33

So with the transgender movement in America,

47:36

like we talk about a lot like trans women of color

47:38

very likely to get murdered, and

47:40

it's it's so in the forefront of

47:43

trans people's identity. But it's like you're so much

47:45

more than that. So my question is like beyond

47:47

transgender, like who, like.

47:49

What do you like?

47:50

Like?

47:50

What are your what are your dreams?

47:52

Computer?

47:54

Nice music, have fun,

47:57

travel, I like to have

47:59

fun with third behind.

48:03

Basically funny

48:05

would be first, that would have fun,

48:08

creative?

48:08

Do you go with Jim on the road sometimes?

48:11

Yeah, preferably not?

48:14

Is that is that your preference or preference

48:17

you just don't.

48:17

You don't always tell him if you really want

48:20

me to come with you, I'll come with you. But if

48:22

it's a very boring place, maybe not more

48:24

conservative, maybe.

48:25

Not just coming to Austin with me because I'll be there

48:27

for a few days, but like then after that, I'm

48:29

going to Oklahoma, Houston, Dallas one night each.

48:31

It's like, you don't need to be in that.

48:33

I would rather be at home and.

48:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

48:37

Use your space too, Like I've never I didn't

48:39

live with anybody. For the first time I lived with any woman

48:42

in my life ever was her in the pandemic

48:44

and I ran up to Montreal and lived in a

48:46

one bedroom for fifteen months. I left the US. No

48:48

one knew I was gone. I had

48:50

no idea I would be gone that long. The border was closed,

48:53

and if it came, I couldn't have left. So

48:55

I stayed with her for fifteen months on

48:57

Ready Boulevard in Montreal and a one

49:00

bedroom and that's the first well.

49:01

Yeah, sometimes you don't know.

49:03

You could get it along so swimmingly, have

49:05

the perfect sex, and then when you move in that's

49:07

they start doing ship there you're like all like that.

49:09

And this was during COVID and Canada was like one

49:12

of the countries that were most locked down.

49:13

And how good did we do? We had so much fun.

49:16

We did very well, especially considering it to be in by

49:18

eight pm. Montreal was really panicky.

49:21

We did little day trip or a weekend trip

49:23

to Toronto to stay in a nice hotel because rooms

49:26

were so cheap, and city just

49:28

yeah, things to keep us busy. Sure, but

49:31

it was my first time living with someone and

49:33

the embassy was closed. Her visa

49:36

was on hold because I put up in Montreal

49:38

from Norway so I could see her every weekend. I was driving to

49:40

Montreal every other weekend.

49:41

Oh wow, yes, because they didn't have a problem

49:44

with my with my pot.

49:48

It's like, oh my god, guys can we just all graduate basically.

49:51

A ticket like a parking ticket.

49:55

Norway.

49:58

But it also feels like it's just an excuse to like stop

50:00

people from immigrating to the US. I mean, they're

50:02

just like doing some doing things to control it.

50:04

It's fifties, sorry, fifties

50:07

pot.

50:08

Yeah, it was a long road.

50:09

I just feel blessed to be here now. It's because

50:11

it's been such a long road.

50:13

Five years.

50:13

Wow. I didn't realize you had been together that long.

50:16

It was a long time. And I was driving out to Montreal. Do

50:18

radio finish on Thursday, jump in my car, see

50:20

her Friday Saturday in Montreal Thursday,

50:23

Friday Saturday, and drive home Sunday morning, do radio

50:25

go on the road the next weekend. The weekend after that, would drive

50:27

back up and it just became.

50:29

A life and what and so what was the conversation

50:31

like from you being you know, kind of really

50:34

private about this to then fully having

50:36

like a reality show online.

50:37

We would private only because there was two

50:39

reasons. One, yeah, we wanted to make sure that we

50:42

got along as a couple of ship. We didn't

50:44

want it to be shtick. And I didn't want to adjudicate

50:46

this whole thing publicly, like I have a big

50:48

mouth and immigration is so

50:50

frustrating that I would have fans

50:52

would have got sick of here.

50:53

And then again, should we have open our personal

50:55

life before we even know that? If I could get in here

50:57

and live here, then we wouldn't have a life from

50:59

the first place.

51:00

Yeah, so that wouldn't make any sense.

51:02

I didn't see any I didn't know what I was going to do

51:04

if she didn't get in, so there was just nothing

51:06

beyond that.

51:07

But I wouldn't be happy to

51:09

live with Jim completely privately. I would

51:11

be completely happy to do that. That would

51:14

not be any problem.

51:15

It would be hard for me because I'm so public with my life

51:18

and it was so hard not talking about it.

51:21

It's nice to have yet to have your listeners and fans

51:23

who love you and care about you and are invested in your life to be

51:25

along for the ride too.

51:26

Yeah, to share that with people, but deserve to hear it.

51:28

Really, everyone thinks that I'm like, oh, she's trying to be

51:30

this rising star. I just like to have fun

51:32

on Instagram and they choose to watch

51:34

sometimes and it's fun.

51:36

It's fun.

51:37

No, I think it's clear, because I mean I think you know

51:39

comedians, I were all like productive

51:41

of Jim. So there was this kind of initial gaze

51:43

like what's going on here? But it was like very

51:45

clear, very quickly that you are actually in

51:47

love.

51:48

There are people who think, oh, she's

51:50

using it, Like I get it. I understand

51:52

how people see it and even when we react interact

51:55

online. But she's funny

51:57

and she's mean with her jokes, and that's

51:59

what that's just perfect.

52:01

Trying to be funny too on the podcast

52:03

and I'll make a dick joke his mouth, also

52:07

trying to be funny.

52:08

When people see like two people in love, they're

52:10

like, what's the cat? Like, everybody's so eager to

52:12

be like, no, it's it's fucked up somewhere,

52:14

especially the people that have not had to help a your relationship.

52:17

I'm curious, Jim, what have you learned about yourself

52:19

since courting Nikki and

52:21

being and marrying her.

52:23

That I am? I

52:25

was kind of looking for something all those years,

52:27

like you can. I mean, I did

52:30

pretty much whatever I wanted my whole adult life

52:32

and still left me in a manic depression.

52:34

It didn't mean anything. So like

52:36

this, I'm very happy with Nikki. I don't

52:39

like everyone was like, wow, if I would, if I went

52:41

out and cheated, Like, but I really haven't. Like it's

52:43

crazy that I have because I cheated on everybody else in my life.

52:45

Oh, she's the first one I've ever been because

52:48

I know that once I do it, I can't tell myself I've

52:50

never done it, right, But I'm just ready

52:52

to. And I love you And it's not worth it. It's just not a.

52:54

Combination of a lot of factors. Who you

52:56

are, Nikki and then the state in your life

52:59

that you're that you were.

53:00

Were fought a battle that we didn't know

53:02

that we would win. So I feel like we

53:05

fought for this life too.

53:06

Yeah. I had to fight for it. I had to wait for it. I

53:08

had to fight for it. I had to fly to Norway.

53:11

I mean we've been to lawyers, three different lawyers.

53:14

Jeez. But I feel like that, like the successful

53:16

person in you like probably

53:18

likes that, Like that makes it feel like you earned it.

53:21

Yes, And I know it was not impulsive and.

53:23

You had to interrogate yourself along the way of like I still

53:25

want to be here, right, I still want to be here right?

53:27

Yeah? I do. Yeah. It was it was almost

53:29

like if I was going to bail out. Like now that things

53:32

even when things are hard here, this is easy.

53:34

Like nothing will ever be as hard as that

53:36

five year process. Yeah, maybe for the embassy

53:38

to open her getting rejected five times,

53:41

five times.

53:42

Nine months for an appointment. She's in for

53:44

another nine months.

53:45

For the other episod Like they're trying to make you have

53:47

a breakdown.

53:48

Yeah, it's really We got like a real immigration

53:51

education, like you learn everything about it and like I

53:53

have empathy for people.

53:54

It almost become a lawyer.

53:56

Yeah, yeah, she well, she actually found

53:58

stuff in she found something

54:00

that they that the other lawyers didn't find.

54:02

Second lawyer told us, look, she has a drunk

54:04

conviction. She'll never get in on immigration

54:07

purposes for hashish because that's what she's smoking

54:09

normally, not pot. But but

54:11

but then I found a little officer's handbook

54:13

online and it's the only drunk conviction you can

54:15

get into the States with is fifteen grams are

54:17

less of marijuana.

54:18

Oh and but but they're

54:20

like the lawyer goes, that's not hashish, but it's cannabis.

54:23

Right, So if she she found

54:25

the thing that said it's it's like less,

54:27

it's like fifteen thirty grams of pot or six

54:30

grams of it's five to one. So

54:33

then the whole thing was, how do we prove that her ticket was

54:35

for less than six It's a fuck, but

54:37

we did it by the book. I mean when you do things by the

54:39

book. The government uses the mail like everything

54:42

is slow. It's the post office

54:45

in New York.

54:46

I love that.

54:47

Probably New York is the most liberating

54:49

place I have ever walked. The streets

54:51

here, no one gives a fuck. I've never had

54:53

one person tell me anything in New York.

54:55

Ever, it's fine.

54:56

I feel like if anything, like there's been very

54:59

few times is that I've witnessed

55:02

a guy like say something like witness

55:04

bigotry, and it's like everybody around us

55:06

is like, what the fuck did you just say?

55:08

Like we all protect each other in the West.

55:10

I feel like a different breed here than I do in Norway.

55:12

Nice.

55:13

When I'm in Norway, it's a lot groggy

55:15

and very direct, and here, at least you can set

55:17

yourself for.

55:18

A little yeah and be weird. You can be weird. We

55:20

just love hot people here. If you're

55:22

hot yeah.

55:25

Us yeah, or those

55:28

of us that aren't hot, just be funny, like dance.

55:32

You don't got to be anything other.

55:33

Than yeah, just a disaster. But just

55:35

be funny as long as you have something to bring.

55:37

Have you ever dated a woman's that's like arm

55:39

candy, like Nikki, like tall model.

55:42

Fucking I've done, I've done my extra

55:44

friend, and this is what a

55:46

fucking dope I am sher?

55:49

My extra friends are very close. Oh yeah,

55:52

yeah, I'm friends with every one of my exes except

55:54

one interesting, way

55:57

more attractive than I am. Like I've always batted out

55:59

of my league. I guess you she again being funny?

56:01

You know, yes,

56:04

yes, you're right. It does, but it gets you

56:06

in the door and then you have to But Jen,

56:09

who I love, is a fucking ferocious,

56:12

kind of really perceptive

56:14

person who always takes her side. It's

56:16

so irritating that I introduced these two. But

56:19

she'll will be fighting extra

56:21

friends.

56:24

I'm right too. If we argue, she'll

56:27

let me know that that's really true.

56:29

Yes, you're right, fucking Jim, Yeah, they can

56:31

really, I hear it. I'm like so, but I like that she has

56:33

someone to talk to who I Respecteah,

56:35

I respect my action.

56:36

She knows you well.

56:38

How long were you together?

56:39

I think it was like two thousand and eleven. We

56:41

broke up many many years ago, but about three years ago

56:43

it was a long friends. Yeah. Yeah, she's one of my closest

56:45

friends.

56:46

That's nice.

56:46

Yeah, yeah, she's been. She's

56:48

been a jk ultra. I'll plug her on

56:51

TikTok. She's like a half a million TikTok followers

56:53

for her. She's really interesting and she

56:55

got this great fucking brain.

56:57

Nice. If she loves UFOs, you should have her on your

56:59

Oh she loves U f.

57:02

M.

57:02

Aliens and okay, I gotta have I'm very

57:06

obsessed. I want to get abducted so bad. I

57:08

have a new show called Wait What about Aliens?

57:10

Really?

57:11

And the there's so much the evidence

57:13

that's out there that is provable is wild.

57:16

So I'm like, guys, why are we talking about this all?

57:18

Have you seen an alien?

57:19

No? I want I mean, I want you so bad. I would

57:22

That's all I would ever talk about.

57:23

If I did.

57:23

That's why she hasn't.

57:24

Also, a lot of the sightings

57:26

in the United States started happening in the fifties when the atomic

57:29

bombs were being built. And I have this theory from

57:31

all of the literature I've read that aliens could actually save

57:33

us from ourselves. So I think they're very peace

57:35

oriented.

57:36

Yeah.

57:36

Maybe. And the funny part is I believe none

57:38

of it. I'm one hundred percent skeptic, but I don't want

57:40

to be.

57:41

Well, it's like, well, show me the proof and that I'll believe it.

57:43

I think that's why.

57:44

Yeah, Jenda's is very you gotta believe, very

57:46

very. Jenda is very much and

57:48

she like I would talk to her as I was driving to see Nikki

57:51

in Montreal, and Jen can fucking talk and she

57:53

would like, but on a rant about this

57:55

stuff, and I'm like, i don't believe any of this, but I'm still

57:57

really enjoying listening to Yeah, to

58:00

do a podcast about you have to like she's such

58:02

a good fucking talker. I'm like, you're making

58:04

me want to listen about this and it's not.

58:06

And you're a nonbeliever, which is great audience.

58:09

Yeah, so if you can get me interested in it,

58:11

you're really good at talking about it. Yeah, she's great.

58:13

But anyway, she's also great at fucking taking her

58:15

side, which is it's annoying,

58:17

but it's also I'm glad that she has that

58:19

person in her life.

58:20

Like, yes, I love her.

58:22

Yeah, I love that she knows the core of jem

58:24

ye. Then good see he's here too, Yeah, bitch

58:26

about him?

58:27

Are there like points of contention that keep coming up? Like

58:29

usually couples, like there is like one issue

58:31

and it's usually not even about something big, but it's something

58:33

that keeps coming up.

58:34

Always has to win the argument. Oh interesting

58:37

always?

58:37

Yeah? Yeah?

58:39

Is that just like? Is that? What is that?

58:41

The comic?

58:42

Is that?

58:42

What is that?

58:43

Part of it is? It? Just doesn't like because

58:45

I think that I'm right, But I also Nikki

58:48

will cry a lot, fair like we're arguing about

58:50

something and she'll get very emotional. I've

58:53

gotten better at shutting the fuck up like in

58:55

her like she doesn't know the old me, Like this

58:57

version is much better.

59:00

I know what you're saying. But we argue and

59:02

we hit a wall and I was started to cry. How dare you

59:04

still try to win the argument? You know

59:06

how crazy that? But

59:08

I know my hormone some transgenct.

59:11

I know I've heard this with tears coming down.

59:14

Enough break already

59:17

enough with what I'm dealing with.

59:19

But I get very cold when I argue, Like.

59:21

Even that would make me cry.

59:23

I like, I know you're my wife

59:25

like, I'm not we're not debating that.

59:27

I'm just looking at his computer screen and he'll try to lecture

59:29

me to sometimes.

59:30

This is true,

59:32

like the age difference.

59:35

Different.

59:35

I wouldn't work out with him if I didn't have daddy issues.

59:38

I do have daddy issues. God, my

59:41

father, he's the closest, one of the closest.

59:43

He's the most what's the daddy issue?

59:45

Then, well, he wasn't in my life when I was younger.

59:48

I think that that would you know, that would give

59:51

anyone daddy issues?

59:52

Right right? Yeah?

59:55

Absolutely?

59:56

Okay, So the age and then also I

59:58

think, like you you mentioned as a joke like

1:00:00

you're transgunder you have hormones, but for real,

1:00:02

like how how so you're actively taking

1:00:04

hormones still, and like how does that affect.

1:00:06

Her in the same dosage for like eleven

1:00:08

years?

1:00:09

Okay?

1:00:09

And did what was when you started taking

1:00:12

them? Did you notice a change in your mood?

1:00:14

Yes, my boobs were very painful.

1:00:16

One time in my room, the

1:00:19

edge of the door accidentally hitded.

1:00:21

It was like a few months.

1:00:23

A tender boob, terrible tender

1:00:26

boo.

1:00:27

It was worse than your toe times ten.

1:00:28

Oh my goodness, very very

1:00:31

terrible. How old were you when you were like,

1:00:33

oh, I'm the wrong gender, Like I'm

1:00:35

the gender i'm born and is not the one I want.

1:00:37

I always walk like this when I was like

1:00:39

a little you know, But then when I was

1:00:41

like twelve eleven, maybe

1:00:44

they're like for real, like way, but I don't want to have a beard.

1:00:46

Oh my god, that drives me crazy. I would rather

1:00:48

kill myself than have a beard. Oh really, since

1:00:50

showing me that, Yeah, so that's how I knew that

1:00:52

I have some sort of form of dysphoy it whatever

1:00:55

it is. Yeah, and you boys said to your parents

1:00:57

yes, And then she took me to a psychologist.

1:00:59

And then in Norway they're not just any

1:01:01

doctor won't put your man's Yeah, I got to go

1:01:03

to the National Hospital. I did

1:01:06

that in Oslo, and I thought

1:01:08

they were wonderful.

1:01:09

Day.

1:01:09

That's good, a lot of therapists and psychologists.

1:01:11

And then they put me on the hormone.

1:01:13

To diagnosis, Like there's a diagnosis.

1:01:16

Yeah, yeah, that's great.

1:01:17

So it seems like while the maybe the population

1:01:19

is super fucking judgy and filled

1:01:21

with bigotry in that respect, the Government

1:01:24

Act makes it so that if you want

1:01:26

a transition you can, but it's not like I'm.

1:01:27

Just putting on this dress and ooho having fun.

1:01:30

I literally, if I was a man and

1:01:32

had to live life as a man, I would definitely

1:01:34

not be.

1:01:35

Alive right right right, And that's

1:01:37

such a thing.

1:01:37

It's didn't live as a woman in a video game.

1:01:39

I don't know, right right, And it's like, what kind of fucking

1:01:42

life is that?

1:01:42

Like when people can't understand, like why, like

1:01:45

the transgender issue in America gets conflated.

1:01:47

I think with the news, they give you the headline that's gonna

1:01:50

that's gonna piss off the conservative parents the

1:01:52

most, and it's like, guys, can we not stop jerking

1:01:54

off that one dick of like of this issue,

1:01:56

because it's like, if you are born feeling

1:01:58

like something isn't right, you have every

1:02:00

right to address that and make it right for yourself.

1:02:02

And then he guy like that, that teacher in

1:02:05

Canada who I thought was clearly

1:02:07

fetish, like the guy he was a woodshop

1:02:09

teacher, and then he just showed up for work with these

1:02:11

giant faked hits. They

1:02:14

looked like Mickey Dean Motorhead, like these giant

1:02:17

breasts.

1:02:17

Danny Polish, Chuck the comedian.

1:02:19

He was walking around like he ordered them and was

1:02:21

like doing a lot a lot of bits about making

1:02:23

fun of this.

1:02:24

What is he just he

1:02:27

No, I don't believe he is.

1:02:28

I believe it's transgender.

1:02:30

But he was like a high school teacher and he was teaching kids

1:02:32

or whatever, and he had all these h sized.

1:02:34

Boots, just came in one day with like worse.

1:02:36

Than drag queen Bianca Delrio. I mean, the teaching

1:02:38

then beg and it's like, what the

1:02:40

fuck are you doing?

1:02:41

And it would be pictures of him walking around without them

1:02:43

because he goes, oh, no, it's a genetic thing. They're real.

1:02:45

But then reporters would catch pictures of him without

1:02:48

the breast, just living life in like a regular person.

1:02:51

Shame on you, because it's like, yeah, it's

1:02:53

not weird, fucking

1:02:57

weird.

1:02:57

And even if I saw them in the grocery store or even

1:02:59

a strip clump, yeah it's fucking.

1:03:01

Weird having them this big with

1:03:03

the giant nipples and short skirts. Stop

1:03:06

it Like that to me was fetish because

1:03:08

you're not living your life like that. You're wearing

1:03:10

that around high school students, but then people are catching

1:03:12

you going to the store and a denim jacket, a T shirt.

1:03:14

Where's your breast?

1:03:15

This is not something you actually need to make you feel.

1:03:17

Like, this is not how you feel whole like you. I

1:03:19

just did my Personally, I didn't believe it. And

1:03:21

I think the fact that that gets lumped in and

1:03:24

people can't just go to you a fucking idiot. Like people

1:03:26

everyone's so scared to get in trouble that

1:03:29

it has to all be talked about with the same

1:03:31

level of gravity silly.

1:03:34

Right, Yeah, it's very insulting. The expectation

1:03:37

of like respect my tits.

1:03:39

It's like, that's great, dressful

1:03:41

you want. They don't wonder why, Like

1:03:44

in a school, it just feels fetishy.

1:03:46

Yeah, Like I don't you can wear what you want. I don't

1:03:48

want to see a male teacher showing up with the assless

1:03:51

chaps, right, you know what I'm saying,

1:03:53

sir? Yeah, yeah, it'll be weird.

1:03:55

Yeah,

1:04:02

well I was.

1:04:03

I followed, so I do it another like a news

1:04:05

show and I there's a trans influencer

1:04:07

named Eden the Doll who I follow.

1:04:09

She's so pretty.

1:04:10

Did you see the video she posted like a day or two

1:04:12

ago.

1:04:13

It was very interesting and she said that she

1:04:15

personally feels that she

1:04:17

wasn't born in the wrong body. She

1:04:20

said, I don't think God makes mistakes. She's like,

1:04:22

I think that I was put on this earth with

1:04:25

the challenge that I would need to transition

1:04:27

and that is a part of who I am because God

1:04:29

knew I could handle that challenge. I thought that

1:04:31

was a very interesting take that I had never heard before.

1:04:33

And I just want to.

1:04:34

Taybe, that was your power in life,

1:04:36

right, you know what I mean?

1:04:37

Yeah, to challenge those around her with

1:04:40

an idea that maybe people can't understand.

1:04:43

But that's not at all how you felt you

1:04:45

felt wrong body or I.

1:04:47

Just know that what I felt and the feelings that I started

1:04:49

feeling around twelve thirty, right, and the real

1:04:52

oh my god, the clock is taking I don't want to be

1:04:54

a fucking man was real.

1:04:55

Yeah.

1:04:56

And I had to tell my mom. Yeah, I had to tell

1:04:58

my family, and if I didn't, I don't know what would happened.

1:05:00

Terrifying to me.

1:05:01

Really.

1:05:02

Yeah, I like that you smiled, that's

1:05:04

what you said.

1:05:06

Yes, I

1:05:08

do like her view on it, though.

1:05:10

Yeah, it was kind of like the Wou wou person

1:05:13

and me was like, oh, this is I've never heard this

1:05:15

expressed in this way, and that's really

1:05:17

interesting. But I just also liked

1:05:20

that it was a point of view about a trans person

1:05:22

from a trans person. When I realized so much of the

1:05:24

information that we get, and I think this is a huge problem.

1:05:26

It's just about people just

1:05:29

like you. Do you even know a trans person?

1:05:31

Fox News every day on the main page there's

1:05:33

a story about trans people like they're obsessed, obsessed.

1:05:37

They called them now, they didn't call them a she.

1:05:39

Ten years ago they would say he on TV. I

1:05:41

didn't do that anymore, right, So I'm not

1:05:43

saying they're not. Oh my god, we love trans people,

1:05:46

baby, They've.

1:05:48

Got really gendering respect, right.

1:05:50

Yeah, I think the world is changing. I really

1:05:52

do.

1:05:53

Ten years ago, I couldn't find any information.

1:05:55

And I've said this on a lot of podcasts, but when

1:05:57

Caitlyn Jenner went on the magazine for Vanity

1:05:59

Fair, yeah, micro countries,

1:06:01

we're talking about transgender.

1:06:03

I was out of the door and out of the claw set.

1:06:05

And ever since then for me as a foreigner

1:06:07

too, being an Internet person,

1:06:09

it changed the world to me.

1:06:11

Yeah, I mean that, Yeah, I knew when that happened.

1:06:13

I was like, that's amazing that such a famous

1:06:16

family has a person who not only

1:06:18

like lived most of their life as a very famous

1:06:20

man. And I'm like, wow, now everybody's going

1:06:22

to be talking about this in a totally different way for

1:06:24

the second sheet.

1:06:25

But you know, like they're they're fake with like you

1:06:27

know, show business, they're they're their allies.

1:06:29

They're just their frauds, like Titi

1:06:31

Bank with the Pride flags on price, Like the

1:06:34

fuck up?

1:06:35

How many when's the last time an actor

1:06:38

brought somebody trans to an award show? Pablo

1:06:40

Pascal, they brought his sisters transgendercy

1:06:43

that's different. That's different than a romantic relationship.

1:06:45

That's family.

1:06:46

Yeah, family is different. It's nice that he brought

1:06:48

it, but I mean that's not the point of It's.

1:06:50

Like, try harder, Patrio, We're

1:06:52

not buying it.

1:06:53

A lot of you guys, And I know who you

1:06:55

are because I would

1:06:57

never say it, because if you want to know who sleeps

1:06:59

with trans people, the transpersion, I will tell you, like I got

1:07:02

I got the skinny from a lot of girls over the years.

1:07:04

But again, it's like, what are you guys doing?

1:07:07

Just say it?

1:07:07

It would be comfortable with who you are. What's the

1:07:09

risk somebody's gonna.

1:07:10

Go ew yeah, okay.

1:07:13

I don't like ingrained homophobia

1:07:16

like what or.

1:07:16

Maybe yeah sure, or the fear of what does

1:07:19

it make me? I think that's a lot of it too, because

1:07:21

guys are more comfortable being gay

1:07:23

and around them. Yeah,

1:07:25

but if you come out like as a man, if I say I like somebody

1:07:27

trans, what am I am? I gay? Am I straight? That's

1:07:30

the problem is the confusing.

1:07:32

And again brain has a desire to label everything.

1:07:34

A man who likes a dick is anything

1:07:36

but straight.

1:07:38

No, you say that wrong. You can't be straight. I can't.

1:07:42

I was like, you're

1:07:45

not straight if you don't like cock, and

1:07:48

it's.

1:07:48

Just my second. If you

1:07:50

like cock, then there's something else.

1:07:54

I thought be so funny, like when

1:07:56

men get really insecure about like anybody

1:07:58

thinking they could be a little gay, and I'm like,

1:08:01

what is more mainly than a guy with

1:08:03

his dick out and another guy with his

1:08:05

dick out going at it to me.

1:08:07

That I love?

1:08:08

Yes, they it's funny to it, but

1:08:10

a lot of the problems, like they'll say like, oh, you're totally

1:08:12

straight if you're somebody trans with a and

1:08:14

it's like, but that's to me, it's not progressive.

1:08:17

That's the nineteen fifties idea that being straight

1:08:19

is the only good answer. Like we have to somehow

1:08:22

segue this back to you being hetero because

1:08:24

that's the right answer.

1:08:25

But what if you're into trans girls and you hate the

1:08:27

penis and you don't even like touching it, but you

1:08:29

still would marry her. I mean, like

1:08:32

one guy that's that's a subject

1:08:35

artistic.

1:08:36

He's still battling himself like.

1:08:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll

1:08:40

have that guy.

1:08:41

On next week.

1:08:42

Like asexual people.

1:08:43

There's a difference though, if you meet somebody and

1:08:45

you find out, oh, they're trans and whatever, but I don't

1:08:47

care about the general It's different if you fall in love with the person

1:08:50

first, yeah, and you don't even know. But maybe there's

1:08:52

different levels. I'm not an expert, like, and I say

1:08:54

it on stage like I don't know neither. I'm not a fucking

1:08:56

expert.

1:08:57

You're only an expert on your life and your experiences.

1:08:59

It's and I don't try to teach lessons

1:09:01

on stage. I talk about it. I don't try to

1:09:03

tell people how to feel like I

1:09:06

don't give a ship what they walk away with. Yeah,

1:09:08

this is what my life is, and it is what it is.

1:09:10

But Jim is a very honest man, and I'm very

1:09:12

lucky. And all the people, my friends

1:09:14

and my trans friends do tell me you're lucky.

1:09:16

You're very lucky to have landed a man

1:09:19

at all. I wish I had a man, they tell me.

1:09:21

Really.

1:09:22

Yeah, it's guys are a little weird about it.

1:09:23

I think it's different to be married.

1:09:25

I know there's some trans girls who are Yeah,

1:09:27

I could never picture that in my life.

1:09:29

Really, but you just never thought this was an option for

1:09:32

you?

1:09:32

Oh, oh my god?

1:09:33

No, no, wow, So you guys are

1:09:35

like living a little fairy tale basically literally.

1:09:37

Yeah, and

1:09:42

Nikki, what have you learned about yourself through marriage?

1:09:44

I'm funny you never knew

1:09:46

that before.

1:09:47

No, no, really.

1:09:48

Maybe a little. No,

1:09:51

I've learned. I

1:09:53

don't know. I've learned how to love.

1:09:55

Oh, I mean, come

1:09:57

on, you're

1:10:00

an old lady. She's

1:10:03

an old lays a very old soul, Like it really

1:10:05

is crazy

1:10:09

soul.

1:10:11

Excuse her the youngest they can

1:10:13

get it.

1:10:14

So, f.

1:10:17

That's funny.

1:10:19

What's she's she's like?

1:10:20

They don't like anything old on a woman,

1:10:22

except for a soul.

1:10:25

I will say this, I like the key glazer, but

1:10:31

I mean like she's like like like literally an old

1:10:33

lady. Like the things that she likes, the reaction

1:10:36

to things, it's

1:10:38

fucking crazy.

1:10:39

But I mean but like

1:10:42

caramels original

1:10:44

yeah.

1:10:44

Yeah, yeah, a little candy in.

1:10:46

The ladies they're about to die.

1:10:48

They always enjoy the best things in line, the

1:10:51

little cookies, the

1:10:53

toast.

1:10:54

Yeah, but it's mazing. I

1:10:56

love old old Norwegian women.

1:10:58

But she really doesn't. Like it's not just expressed like she literally

1:11:01

loves old people.

1:11:02

Okay, cool.

1:11:03

Instead of going to a hotspot restaurant, I would rather

1:11:05

go to a nice, quiet, relaxing,

1:11:08

dim house.

1:11:09

Yeah. It's one of those things where that's why we get

1:11:11

along.

1:11:12

Like I hate clubs, Sexton.

1:11:15

Yes, sex you can do with somebody like who's

1:11:17

who's who's hot and young? But you

1:11:19

can't live a life just based

1:11:21

on being hot and young.

1:11:22

Yeah.

1:11:23

You have to connect mentally on something or you're just

1:11:25

you'll go crazy. Yeah you

1:11:27

can't.

1:11:28

Then I was misindependent way before I

1:11:30

mention.

1:11:30

Yeah, what

1:11:33

was your life? Yeah?

1:11:33

What was your like life before? Jim?

1:11:36

I did webcamm oh nice?

1:11:38

Yeah.

1:11:38

So the day I turned nineteen, I

1:11:41

did that and I go out and I

1:11:43

started my life. Nice and

1:11:46

yeah, nice, Yeah, it's

1:11:48

nice.

1:11:48

What did you did anything surprise you about camming

1:11:51

like that? You're like, oh, I like this more

1:11:53

than I thought I would.

1:11:53

I don't like this. Yeah, and I.

1:11:55

Thought I was throwing I did great?

1:11:57

Right?

1:11:57

Nice?

1:11:58

Yeah, she people liked. I would watch. She

1:12:00

told me immediately what she did. I didn't care.

1:12:02

It's in Norwegian.

1:12:03

I realized that I opened the international

1:12:05

door by doing that.

1:12:06

Oh right, right exactly, because

1:12:08

you're your your audience is now.

1:12:09

The world, the world.

1:12:12

Yeah, we were the world. Yeah,

1:12:14

I would enjoy watching. I was like, yeah, she's sucking.

1:12:17

I like being this comfortable, Like the fact

1:12:19

that you were that comfortable in front of.

1:12:20

People is now then I would

1:12:22

be naked. Probably it's crazy. I

1:12:24

don't know.

1:12:25

Naked is so like being sexual is just so

1:12:27

vulnerable. And I'm like, man, if a strip always

1:12:29

said this, like if a strip club had an amateur night where

1:12:32

you could wear a mask, oh, doing a second,

1:12:34

but like the face, I'm like, don't look at me, look at

1:12:36

my pussy, don't look at my eyes.

1:12:37

Do they have that? That's a great idea, by the way,

1:12:39

amateur strip club where you can wear a mask and

1:12:42

act it out without afraid of somebody

1:12:44

grabbing a cell phone.

1:12:45

Right, I feel exactly a lot of injuries at that club,

1:12:49

the big eye holes. It's

1:12:53

like when.

1:12:53

People think they can do stand up and then get on

1:12:55

stage, like, okay, this is a little

1:12:57

harder than it looked initially.

1:13:00

But I'm smart enough to know I could never do what

1:13:02

she used to do, Like, I know my dick would

1:13:04

be panicking. I would never be able to function.

1:13:07

I was like eighteen now if I wouldn't be on only fans

1:13:10

then, and that would probably be even.

1:13:11

More Yeah, you'd make a killing.

1:13:13

She would do well, yeah, because mine was a little old

1:13:15

school. I feel the camming. The kids don't really

1:13:17

calm anymore. I guess they do now it's

1:13:19

more only fans, Yeah, only fans

1:13:22

like six figures, yeah, monthly.

1:13:25

People are five

1:13:27

years ago to some people think that we're

1:13:29

could they see videos now? There's more videos of Hardline

1:13:32

than make for a long time. But she's been out of it for

1:13:34

five years. I think a lot of people see that Maison

1:13:36

was doing webcam stuff.

1:13:37

This is long time.

1:13:38

I'm ye tired.

1:13:39

I'm twenty six now.

1:13:40

Honestly, even if you're still doing I'm like nice, probably

1:13:42

rich as hell.

1:13:43

I wouldn't want that though. I wouldn't want to share that energy.

1:13:45

That's why, Yeah, I don't want to share that, And I don't

1:13:48

want to share her sexual energy with other people.

1:13:49

And I feel I would

1:13:51

feel that way too about me, Like if my partner was

1:13:54

sexual publicly, I'd be like, yes, I

1:13:58

need.

1:13:58

A man who feels that way to warn me. I

1:14:00

don't want a man who's do whatever you want.

1:14:02

Yeah, I can't have that in my life.

1:14:04

It's like when a guy is like not even a little bit jealous

1:14:06

and you're like, come, I being like a.

1:14:07

Little jealous, like protective.

1:14:11

Yeah, but I'm not obsessive with it. But I wouldn't want to

1:14:13

do it. It's been years and I wouldn't want to doing it because

1:14:15

it's like now you're my fucking my wife,

1:14:17

Like and even before she was my wife, she was my girlfriend.

1:14:20

I'm like, no, I'm not driving six outs, like

1:14:22

you know what I mean? Like this is really right right?

1:14:23

I also like, as a public person, I think we

1:14:25

share so much with people already. I

1:14:27

want to really important to have some things

1:14:30

that are just yours. Yes, because

1:14:32

we have less things that are just ours. I

1:14:34

think about that a lot when

1:14:36

you when you were carrying what was there like

1:14:39

a common things that people would ask you for

1:14:41

a lot as far as kink or.

1:14:42

I think most people just wanted to see my deck. I

1:14:47

don't know what tell you Like

1:14:49

that's really kind.

1:14:51

Of had the theory that like everybody's

1:14:53

I think everybody's a little bit by, but like even

1:14:55

like the straightest woman and you show her

1:14:57

a picture of like Sidney Sweeney's titties and you're.

1:14:59

Like, hell, yeah, the best titties

1:15:02

I've ever seen. Like her titties make my day.

1:15:03

Bet yeah,

1:15:05

just like just want a motor boat or so bad.

1:15:08

But I also have this theory that like everybody,

1:15:10

regardless of your gender, regardless of your sexual orientation,

1:15:14

is always attracted to like a beautiful woman with

1:15:16

a dick, Like I honestly think that you

1:15:18

couldn't honestly pull people like

1:15:20

if you said no, you'd be lying.

1:15:22

I have that theory.

1:15:23

There are guys who like comics I

1:15:25

know who have talked about it, and they always

1:15:27

will do it, Like I can see a trans girl with

1:15:29

a with a girl with a pussy like they

1:15:31

like the dick in play. So

1:15:34

the fact that they like it even a little in

1:15:36

the thing means that they're open to it. Like the

1:15:38

fact that it's in the it's in the somehow

1:15:41

in the energy and the smoke for you means.

1:15:45

Octopus porn.

1:15:46

I'm sure that it's like tie

1:15:49

and yes, stuff like that.

1:15:52

Inflatable furries. I've seen

1:15:54

it all. What's the weirdest porn you've

1:15:56

seen inflatable furries?

1:15:58

Wow? And the guys it or

1:16:01

they're they're just.

1:16:02

Being blown up and there would be a naked

1:16:04

furry.

1:16:04

It's very weird.

1:16:05

It is very weird in furry

1:16:07

is a lot.

1:16:08

But the fact that people is turned on by that.

1:16:10

I watched a whole like vice documentary when I was like probably

1:16:12

in high school about furries, and I've never stopped

1:16:14

thinking about it's sexual, right, furries are always sexual?

1:16:16

Yeah, But I mean it was like literally like you know, just like kind of

1:16:18

like, oh, these are the same people I've seen at Disney

1:16:21

World. Is there a hole down there and they're fucking

1:16:23

after hours?

1:16:24

Like fascinating? Also, like wouldn't

1:16:26

it get so hot?

1:16:26

I would get and it would

1:16:29

smell too? Like I met the Philly

1:16:31

fanatic years ago, interviewed Yeah,

1:16:33

I interviewed the costumes.

1:16:37

No it's a it's a giant.

1:16:39

It's as Phillies baseball team.

1:16:43

But he smelled terrible because those uniforms

1:16:45

smell so furries probably stink when

1:16:47

they take their Yeah,

1:16:50

they at you.

1:16:51

Guys like I think they don't.

1:16:53

I think they're cute if they're like this, but sual

1:16:55

crazes.

1:16:56

Yeah, were you turned on by.

1:17:00

But not like making fun of, like truly fascinating,

1:17:03

genuinely fascinated.

1:17:04

Yeah, yeah, what does it mean?

1:17:06

Yeah?

1:17:06

I guess that was like the precursor of Guys We Fought.

1:17:08

I was just fascinated by it and like feederism

1:17:10

because Vice used to be before they became

1:17:12

like, you know, doing all the woke,

1:17:14

nonsensical taking comedians down shit. Like

1:17:17

they were really doing some very

1:17:19

interesting work in the sex space.

1:17:20

Yellue.

1:17:22

Yeah. I did a show for them, probably twenty

1:17:24

fourteen, and only did four episodes.

1:17:27

Unfortunately, they were very difficult to deal with. When

1:17:29

you saw on the way the Top, everything

1:17:31

had to go through a couple of everything up bottle it. So

1:17:33

I'm not surprised that eventually things came

1:17:35

apart. It just seemed like there was only a

1:17:37

few guys making decisions for a massive

1:17:40

company. But they did do some great The

1:17:42

thing about Joshua Bli, I think it was a General

1:17:44

button naked who's now a preacher, was

1:17:47

one of those, one of those. Yeah,

1:17:50

he's a guy who would like murder. He would fight naked.

1:17:52

He was like a warlord, very

1:17:55

bad guy. America No, no, no,

1:17:57

Africa, like I don't remember where. Maybe Nigeria.

1:18:00

Think he's yes,

1:18:02

yeah, yeh naked, crazy guy

1:18:04

general butt naked and uh

1:18:07

you look him in the wood.

1:18:08

Yea think his name is General butt

1:18:11

naked. But it's like, no, he'll fuck you, He'll kill

1:18:13

you with his dick.

1:18:14

Yeah, people were terrified him. He's a scary guy,

1:18:17

kill you.

1:18:17

With his dick, with his dick

1:18:19

out, yeah naked.

1:18:21

Yeah.

1:18:28

You mentioned your fifty five and I'm curious,

1:18:30

like, how has your sexuality evolved throughout

1:18:32

your life?

1:18:33

And have you noticed that your.

1:18:35

Dick's functionality is

1:18:37

affected at all by your age?

1:18:39

A little bit but not crazy because I love

1:18:41

like, your pills are great.

1:18:42

You have a great deck.

1:18:43

Thank you?

1:18:44

It works?

1:18:45

Yeah, fabulous. Yeah, I've

1:18:47

been lucky, like I'm not. I'm not insecure

1:18:49

about my deck.

1:18:52

No, yeah, no, but you said pills

1:18:54

though a pill I've.

1:18:55

Taken like I've taken my Oh

1:18:57

yeah.

1:18:59

Because my hear doesn't make you horny or

1:19:01

it just makes you physically.

1:19:02

Harder, Yeah, physically like it's putting

1:19:04

blood in your dick.

1:19:05

Yeah.

1:19:05

I haven't taken them in a long long time

1:19:08

because I would take them a lot of times. They're not even get laid,

1:19:10

like just having taste, Like.

1:19:11

You have a hard dick and awful

1:19:14

session.

1:19:15

But how has it changed?

1:19:16

If they're with a hard deck and do nothing stupid,

1:19:19

I would irritate me.

1:19:20

Yeah, it did well with this hard

1:19:23

cock, but I've got

1:19:25

mellowed over the years. Like as far as thinking I needed

1:19:27

the variety of people, like a lot of it's

1:19:29

just greed. It's compulsive over reading. It's it's

1:19:31

donuts, it's cookies, it's cake.

1:19:33

It's like it's consumption selfishness

1:19:35

too well.

1:19:36

A lot of prominent feedback

1:19:38

that I've heard from men approaching their fifties or

1:19:40

above fifties is that like, oh

1:19:42

my god, I could finally think about other things that I'm

1:19:44

not just chasing pussy all day and.

1:19:46

Then thinking about chasing the best

1:19:48

man because they're ready to do something else

1:19:50

in life, just trying to be this man

1:19:52

of something.

1:19:53

Yeah, my boyfriend, he's

1:19:56

forty, he's been about to be forty nine, and I

1:19:58

think he was like a man's which

1:20:00

I love a man slut.

1:20:01

Yeah, but he's singer.

1:20:03

Yeah, of course, well he sings.

1:20:05

Yeah,

1:20:06

he's great.

1:20:09

But he's out.

1:20:09

He got out of his sluttier phase when we

1:20:11

started meeting and when we started like dating, dating,

1:20:14

and I'm like, this is so convenient. Yeah,

1:20:16

but I'm like, wow, a lot of my close male friends

1:20:18

of like approaching fifty, I'm like, there's

1:20:21

they seem to be very relieved that they're just not thinking

1:20:23

about conquering a woman all the time.

1:20:25

Yeah, because you realize, like especially like I didn't

1:20:27

get lated in high school, so you get greedy when you get older,

1:20:29

and then you when you realize it's addictive and it's not

1:20:31

like, yeah, it's more about the idea

1:20:34

of it or the concept of it or the dopamine.

1:20:36

It wasn't about the.

1:20:37

Actual physical to not be

1:20:39

with people.

1:20:39

I think it was well, of course, but but

1:20:41

I'm like, if I can't be turned on by Nikki, Like I'm

1:20:44

so attracted to Nikki that I'm like, you

1:20:46

have what you want here, so anything else is irrational.

1:20:48

Like it's a.

1:20:49

Reminding yourself that. Yeah, like searches are going to

1:20:51

pop up all the time. You can't girl that, but like talking

1:20:54

back to them as.

1:20:54

Kids, or like you have a Hershey's. But then

1:20:56

maybe you want I can't

1:20:59

think of a.

1:21:01

There's another truk white you

1:21:03

want to racist pieces? A white mint? What

1:21:05

is that?

1:21:05

A white lint?

1:21:08

White?

1:21:08

Yeah, tules.

1:21:09

Yeah.

1:21:09

I love this circle with the little soft stuff in the middle.

1:21:12

Yeah. But after if I'm doing if

1:21:14

I'm out doing anything else, it's about something else

1:21:16

other than sex, because I'm very attracted to her, so

1:21:18

it's not like there's nothing else I'm looking.

1:21:20

For twenty

1:21:22

six.

1:21:23

So also I imagine too fifty five twenty six,

1:21:25

like that energy, the youthful.

1:21:27

I've never thought of dating a.

1:21:28

Younger guy, and then Karen did it a while ago,

1:21:30

and then she was telling me about it. I'm like, there is this

1:21:32

beautiful energy of people in their twenties

1:21:34

that it's like it's just nice to be around,

1:21:36

to be honest, Like it's just really nice.

1:21:38

So that's another like fun perfect I haven't been broken

1:21:40

by the world. Yeah, fun with me now, Yeah,

1:21:43

Like I you're to have a vibrant that is.

1:21:45

I would say it's twenty year old vibrant.

1:21:47

Yeah, it's great.

1:21:48

Yeah, yeah, just like because I'm

1:21:50

feeling old now.

1:21:51

I've been talking talks and jubiderm

1:21:53

and one thing.

1:21:54

Start, it's over the filler.

1:21:56

Can't be young after a filler I have, So

1:21:58

maybe I should talk my youth soon you're too.

1:22:00

I won't play for I told her I'm not doing it.

1:22:02

I don't care he used the credit card.

1:22:03

But I think you're But also like, don't start because

1:22:05

then you're gonna end up looking like not you

1:22:07

later.

1:22:08

But I just mean like a little preventive, like no.

1:22:11

Can be preventative. I don't really.

1:22:14

Before I got Queen Elizabeth before some

1:22:16

of her speeches, does she looked

1:22:18

like a boat soox face?

1:22:19

Now? No, but we saw how it worked out

1:22:21

for her.

1:22:21

She dropped dead and it was because

1:22:24

of the botox.

1:22:29

I wish that's what will say.

1:22:32

The age difference is a weird one, though, like it's people.

1:22:34

Some people are like, wow, he dated when she was

1:22:36

young? Yeah, I did, fuck you. I'm

1:22:38

so sick of people like, what do you think you're gonna shame

1:22:40

me for that?

1:22:41

Do you think this man decades of comedy for nothing

1:22:43

to not fuck the youngest possible.

1:22:45

One I like some respect.

1:22:47

Yeah, I fell in love with that. I fell in love with like the

1:22:49

last woman I dated who was quote unquote

1:22:51

age appropriate.

1:22:53

You know, let's not pretend

1:22:55

that I was out of church neither, so.

1:22:58

Helicoptering your dick. I mean it was great.

1:23:00

Even men about this and talking to about

1:23:02

I'm like, oh, I used to think that an older guy that went

1:23:04

up like that was interested in a younger woman, like there

1:23:06

was a grossness too, But now I'm like, no, I totally get

1:23:08

it.

1:23:08

It's not just the youth, but it's like there is this beautiful.

1:23:12

Rejuvenating vibe becoming

1:23:14

omitting from all young people that's like just nice.

1:23:16

And they're more attractive. Let's stop pretending I

1:23:19

think I was like a twenty five year old guy. I'm a fucking.

1:23:21

Idiot, okay, And they have new inspirations

1:23:23

of.

1:23:24

Being Yeah, you're not jaded yet, and it's like it's

1:23:26

a very valuable I.

1:23:27

Haven't seen the realities. Yeah, so they can still have.

1:23:29

But the last one I did, who was who people would

1:23:31

say age appropriate, was like in her, who's now

1:23:34

in her, I'm fifty five, she probably forty eight now,

1:23:36

but literally a couple months in the relationships,

1:23:38

she's like, we're like, I want to get engaged because

1:23:40

she wanted to have a baby. Oh yeah,

1:23:42

And the bottom line is, I'm like, I'm wasting your time. I don't

1:23:44

want children. But any woman who was in

1:23:47

my age group quote unquote, like in their late thirties

1:23:49

early forties back then, wanted kids, Like

1:23:51

I.

1:23:51

Don't want nothing.

1:23:53

Yeah, you have a hot young wife, apartment

1:23:55

comedian, yeah, grey, career trans.

1:23:59

You just say

1:24:00

no hair

1:24:07

dress, Yeah,

1:24:09

no, I love it.

1:24:10

No pregnancy.

1:24:11

How is it for you dating an older man? I love

1:24:13

it being married to an older man.

1:24:14

I love it.

1:24:15

Yeah, I love it when he's away

1:24:17

from his face.

1:24:19

I do that. My eyes are getting shitty. I

1:24:21

got my glasses. But she functions

1:24:24

well with an older person. Yeah.

1:24:26

We uh, we do pretty well because she's not a

1:24:28

club person. Like we like the type, same type

1:24:30

of things, Like I really do like the old lady

1:24:32

restaurants and the quiet like and he

1:24:35

loves that, Like, I can't be with someone who

1:24:37

doesn't.

1:24:37

Yeah, did you have any like before you

1:24:39

actually got married, did you have any questions about

1:24:42

or conversations about long term Like,

1:24:44

Hey, I'm going to be really old.

1:24:46

What do we do?

1:24:47

You know, Olivia Soprano, You

1:24:51

have no idea how many

1:24:53

times she says to me the.

1:24:55

Rest of the last half of my life by myself.

1:24:57

You're gonna die before me all

1:24:59

the time.

1:25:00

I have a Serra family in America, and I'm like, who's

1:25:02

going to get my jewelry bar? Right?

1:25:03

What's how you make those friendships? Girls solidify

1:25:06

them?

1:25:06

But no, there is something like I'm dating a

1:25:08

guy who's ordered the Maid. I'm like, probably,

1:25:10

statistically you're going to die before me. And that's you

1:25:12

know, just I say that, Just

1:25:15

say that out loud so I can get comfortable with it. But

1:25:17

then it's like and then you live, you know, the last

1:25:19

couple of decades. Maybe you date somebody,

1:25:21

maybe you don't, but like that's okay.

1:25:23

Yeah, I totally agree.

1:25:25

Yeah, it's important for me to tell Jim

1:25:27

because I have never had a job, so

1:25:29

I don't really know how to work anything.

1:25:31

I don't have really a bank account.

1:25:33

You do a bank account.

1:25:35

You were making money? That was a job as like cam is like a very lucrative

1:25:37

job.

1:25:37

Well, yeah, but I've never handled anything

1:25:40

in my life.

1:25:40

Oh okay, okay, So are you, So

1:25:43

are you handling things in your life now to kind of prepare

1:25:45

it?

1:25:45

Because Jim, I mean.

1:25:46

You know, around seventy

1:25:48

years okay, I clean,

1:25:50

I mean a long ways laundry every day.

1:25:53

I'll do anything he'll ask me.

1:25:54

But it's one of those things. Right, we got our bank account. I'm

1:25:56

like, you have to learn how to handle finances

1:25:58

because I will be dead before you, So I

1:26:01

want her to be at least set off.

1:26:03

A couple of Instagram there's this one woman called

1:26:05

her First one hundred K who like gives

1:26:07

financial advice to women mainly, but

1:26:09

like the way she talks about it.

1:26:11

It makes you get so excited to invest.

1:26:13

And she tells you all of the bullshit

1:26:15

scams it's enough, all for it.

1:26:17

And missus dow Jones too, those are two great

1:26:19

accounts.

1:26:19

It's amazing. I think I'm like numbered

1:26:21

dyslexic. I don't know what the word is.

1:26:24

He has an accountant, I do,

1:26:26

You're not number.

1:26:28

He's probably gonna die before him again, the.

1:26:30

Accountants bars, there'll

1:26:33

be someone else at the accounting firm.

1:26:35

Actually there's one person left in each field, one

1:26:37

accountant.

1:26:37

And if I get a new accountant,

1:26:40

then they're rude and steal everything when

1:26:42

you're dead.

1:26:43

But someone who knows Barry, that's.

1:26:46

A real thought though, Like this is what I deal with. But what

1:26:48

if they they won't you don't

1:26:50

sign up a powerful turney. Well again, I try

1:26:52

to help her with this stuff. So she's ready, I'll

1:26:54

be lady off the house.

1:26:55

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, But like I died for

1:26:57

a while and fifty five.

1:26:59

Long ways ago, you person, but also

1:27:01

too like for you, Nikki, like just existing in a

1:27:03

relationship. You want to feel like you have this

1:27:05

independence, should you know, just

1:27:08

for you.

1:27:09

I have no family in America. I think that's a big part

1:27:11

of it. I know anyone that's scary. No

1:27:14

one here, Jim. Jim is my only

1:27:17

person and guardian in my life.

1:27:18

Okay, so we all got to hang out more.

1:27:20

You got we're going to get your good friends circle

1:27:23

and go like close friendships are like the

1:27:26

zest of life.

1:27:27

But now I've been doing so many things with him that I

1:27:29

almost don't have time. I've been going to we're

1:27:31

going to go to Austin.

1:27:33

When he goes to all those road gigs that you're not going to be on.

1:27:37

Yeah hang out yeah,

1:27:39

yeah.

1:27:39

Oh my god. The first comedian who's not sober.

1:27:42

Yeah, yeah,

1:27:46

we want, but I want to get friends. I'm like, I don't

1:27:48

want you to just have me, because again, I

1:27:50

don't I have friends, So I want you to have people. Yeah.

1:27:54

I think one thing like societally that we've noticed,