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Production.

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Activate your internet, because

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the Hamish and Andy podcast starts

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in three, two,

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sorry, still buffering,

0:21

one. Turn

0:23

it off, Jack. Turn it off?

0:25

The whole thing? Turn it off, Jack. Oh

0:28

no. I don't. I don't.

0:30

Oh, this is a real gear change. Don't

0:33

tell me you've run out. I don't want to. I like

0:35

this game. I don't want to stop playing this game. I haven't

0:37

run out. Don't go back to saying

0:39

hello in different languages. It's

0:42

like your brain blokes it out. I

0:44

won't. I won't. Surprised we

0:47

built such a following after those early

0:49

years. Thank

0:51

you to everyone that stuck through them. It's

0:54

I'd love to laugh along

0:56

with that. Who doesn't love to laugh? That's what

0:58

we come here for, three friends having a laugh. I'm

1:02

not, I haven't run out. Good.

1:05

Of little fun things that we could

1:07

be in different worlds. Different

1:09

aspects of various groupings. But

1:11

I'm not sure whether I can do another

1:13

one ever again. What's happened? You

1:16

definitely can. Last

1:18

week on the show, you guys

1:21

may have seen this in the email. Oh no,

1:23

was this about protons,

1:25

neutrons, electrons? Yes. There

1:29

was some heavy feedback

1:31

on the email. I've never been

1:33

attacked so hard, Jack, in emails,

1:35

online. You must have felt as small

1:38

as a quark, Ando. Perhaps

1:42

the smallest of the subatomic particles.

1:45

I accidentally gave the description

1:48

for an electron when I was describing a neutron.

1:54

Which is a little bit un-comeback-from-able.

1:59

I was just driving an electron. I

2:02

gave the description of a neutron. That

2:04

was swapped. Yes. And we're

2:07

all culpable really because none of us even corrected. Yeah,

2:09

you didn't go there. Really,

2:11

because if you listen, I've actually saw a few of the emails

2:13

that do highlight. I'm tried

2:16

to say, I'm not sure about that,

2:18

but I was cut off. Anyway, one for

2:20

us to listen out for. You're writing

2:23

into yourself. No, that came in from Jill

2:25

Saunders. I've

2:28

received personal text messages

2:30

from a lot of different people. Yep.

2:33

This is the kind of thing that in the 20s actually

2:36

would have ended a career. Like, remember

2:38

when, like, you know, you look at, if anyone had

2:40

seen Oppenheimer, around about that time where everyone's presenting

2:42

papers,

2:44

you goof up like this. You don't

2:46

come back. This is an own goal in the World Cup

2:48

final. Exactly. This would be

2:50

a career ender in the physics world. And the

2:53

hatred and,

2:55

you know, please explains. Would

2:57

you say the emails were positively charged or negatively

2:59

charged? Certainly negatively slanted.

3:02

Right, electrons. And it just obviously

3:05

kept building and building. And then the media

3:08

obviously had to pick it up. It's been a tough week. So

3:10

there's a huge story that went

3:13

mega viral online. If you've opened

3:15

the newspapers, a lot of the front pages. There's been a lot of

3:17

angst in local newsrooms about this. It

3:19

genuinely took us all by surprise. This

3:22

has really, it's become a lightning

3:24

rock. We're all disappointed when Haymish and Andy...

3:26

Haymish and Andy got it wrong. ...really made

3:28

a big mistake here. Fundamentally wrong. This

3:31

is a failure bred of historic proportions.

3:32

Plamited to a new low. They're

3:35

the proud one! ...identified as the

3:37

main spreaders of false information

3:39

in the country.

3:40

Why was the intelligence wrong in the first

3:42

place? How did they get this so wrong? Experts

3:44

have called it a massive wake-up call.

3:47

We haven't taken this issue seriously

3:49

enough. The US President, Joe Biden, has threatened

3:52

sanctions, including aid cuts and visa restrictions.

3:54

The Justice Department is investigating

3:57

this. Liberately false stories manufactured

3:59

to fool you. You might have some truth to

4:01

it, but maybe a word of truth, but not the

4:03

whole truth. People have a duty to research

4:06

their own information.

4:07

I don't know if there's a role for the government, but I feel like

4:09

there could be some outside

4:12

body that sort of put their stand for

4:13

approval. It just makes me even more

4:16

suspicious. Moving forward, we need

4:18

to be more vigilant with what we trust from

4:20

the internet. It's a time when we need to rely

4:23

on trusted news sources. Australia

4:25

cannot and should not back down. We

4:28

are a self-respecting nation that believes

4:30

in justice, transparency and accountability.

4:33

The

4:33

Prime Minister has demanded an official

4:35

apology. The New Zealand has registered our

4:37

concern. Give him one hand, Aida. It was unfactual and of

4:39

course that would concern us. Look, I think it

4:41

was deliberately provocative. It was

4:44

offensive, rightly condemned by

4:46

all parties and by the Australian community. I

4:48

think we are united as a community

4:51

and our condemnation of it. They're sickened by this.

4:53

They're uncomfortable with it. My staff

4:55

is up in arms about this. It's as if you don't

4:57

see the harm that you do to somebody. The explanation

5:00

about what happened has changed and

5:02

the communication has been troubled. They'll try and

5:04

offer excuses. And we all can't wait to

5:06

see what they are. And

5:10

here they come. You know as well. Sometimes

5:15

in my role,

5:18

like, you know, we're joint presidents

5:20

of the show, Ham, and we have advisors. We

5:23

have a person that hands us cards as we

5:25

head out to speak to the masses and we're a rush

5:27

sometimes. Oh, this is a buck pass. This

5:30

is a shirk.

5:32

Mike is in charge.

5:37

I didn't expect a shirt. Yes. If this

5:39

was... Shirk, shirk, shirk, shirk. If this was... I

5:41

wonder what shirt... West Wing or

5:44

House of Cards. I didn't remember the president

5:46

getting up and going, I was handing the wrong thing. No,

5:48

but someone always has to

5:51

take the blame. And someone has to resign.

5:53

And it's not the president. Are you going to push Mike in front of a train?

5:56

That does happen in House of Cards. That's...

5:59

No.

5:59

I won't do that, but... Generous.

6:03

Mike. So you're saying Mike handed you the wrong

6:05

definitions of subatomic particles

6:07

that caused last week's... I've still got a piece of paper.

6:09

Science gate.

6:10

And it says that neutrons... Yep.

6:13

...have a negative charge, which in fact, they have no

6:16

charge, they're neutral. Hence the neutron.

6:18

And I don't know if we've got audio of

6:20

the instance, but I definitely remember trying

6:23

to speak up against that injustice. But then I

6:25

go, oh, and he's got the paper. It's his game. I

6:27

didn't do chemistry at

6:29

high school. I just hung out with the legends

6:31

that did. So maybe I remembered it wrong. Hey,

6:36

Matt, didn't remind me though of something else that happened

6:38

last week

6:40

when you received an email from yourself

6:42

pretending to appear a person called Darren.

6:44

No, I spoke

6:47

on behalf of, as the government liked to call

6:49

them, Scott Morrison, especially the silent majority

6:51

that I believe were out there. And

6:53

I sent an email in accurately

6:56

saying what I think a lot of people were thinking.

6:58

Well, this is what you thought a lot of people were thinking.

7:01

I think he was tipped off. I

7:03

think you've got a rat in the rat. Okay.

7:08

Sadly, I think the rat is Mike. I

7:10

do. That might be the case. Yep. I hate

7:12

to say it, boys. You've got a weasel and a rat in the studio.

7:16

It's a goddamn rodent fest in there. For

7:18

some reason, Mike is in this deep

7:21

and it stinks to high heaven. Flush

7:23

him out. Interesting,

7:25

Ando. So I thought Mike was

7:27

a rat for the pizza lotto scandal, but

7:30

it turns out he was a rat handing

7:33

you the wrong info. That's two shows in a row

7:35

with possible rat-like behavior. Come

7:37

on in, Mike.

7:38

Now, is it possible, Ando,

7:41

I smelled a rat, but I just smelled

7:43

him in the wrong room. But I did, so

7:46

my brain was scrambled a little bit, but I

7:48

was smelling rats.

7:49

Mike, look into our eyes. Tell

7:53

us cheese isn't your favorite food. Are

7:57

you purposely sabotaging our show?

8:00

Yeah, that's a fair question. I would never

8:02

do that. That's not an answer. I'm

8:05

sure. No,

8:07

that's just someone saying I'd hate to do that.

8:10

That could still be true.

8:11

Mike, are you purposely sabotaging the show? Because we know you work

8:14

on a lot of podcasts. And

8:16

perhaps on your email signature, ours wasn't even

8:18

at the top. Yeah, that's true. You used

8:20

to have other podcasts that you work on. Ours

8:23

was like, oh, by the way, I do a little bit with

8:25

these guys. Like it was so insignificant

8:27

on your email signature. As someone that follows

8:29

you on Instagram, enjoys the content you

8:31

put out. I see

8:33

you doing very funny stuff. You've got your own

8:35

podcast. It does technically

8:37

make, given that we're really asking for

8:39

people's attention when you do a podcast. We're

8:41

extremely grateful that people would choose to

8:43

spend their time with us. You only got 24

8:46

hours in a day. So there's a limited

8:48

amount of attention people can spend on podcasts.

8:50

You've figured this out. You've seen us as a competitor

8:53

for attention. And you've slowly begun

8:55

to white out the show by

8:57

doing very offensive things like handing

8:59

us bad science facts.

9:02

I made a mistake. That's the reality

9:04

of this situation. I made a mistake. And

9:09

the truth is I failed year

9:11

nine science and stopped science at

9:13

school. Oh, it's one of those levels. We should

9:15

put some music behind that. I didn't

9:17

realise it was going to a sob story. Continue

9:20

the story. Now this is very rich. I

9:23

failed the unknown science. I cheated

9:25

off a guy called Michael Perks and got

9:28

caught and they gave me a fail for

9:30

the whole year. And did you really? Yeah.

9:33

Because I was notoriously

9:35

bad at science. Did they really? You were honest

9:37

scholarship scholarship and

9:40

they were unrelated. Yeah,

9:43

they didn't remove it. Surely there would be a clause

9:45

in the singing scholarship that

9:48

you had to you had to be of good character. Yeah,

9:50

you might have brought all the other Carlos into

9:52

this. What

9:55

can I say? Maybe I was just that maybe

9:57

I was just that good at singing that they they

9:59

just.

9:59

I can't keep this kid

10:02

out. No one cranks out of him like this kid.

10:04

We've got to keep him. Like a star footballer who's

10:06

playing up on the weekends. Come on. Ten

10:09

strike policy. OK, so that's

10:11

it. So, Mike, when you realised,

10:14

OK, I've got a good grouping here of subatomic particles,

10:16

that's a fun way to start the show. Yeah. You

10:18

felt nervous and you were

10:21

unsure of the descriptions.

10:23

Well, can I say, and you know, probably

10:25

agree, these are the hardest parts about

10:27

making these shows. Not the hardest

10:29

part. The

10:32

hardest thing about the Commission and the

10:34

podcast is... I'm Skeez.

10:36

I'm a toboggan. You're a snowball.

10:38

What are we? Things people use

10:41

in the snow. All right, guys,

10:43

go home. That's the hard bit. No,

10:45

but now do 20 more of those. Not 20

10:48

of them all day. I have to

10:50

get my rank 20, once a week. You know, I

10:52

get to the... We do 40

10:54

a year, Mike. Let's be clear there. So if you are

10:56

doing 20 a day, that's two

10:59

mornings of work

10:59

for the year and you are done.

11:02

I know, but like, I'm just saying, like,

11:04

you know, we record on a Tuesday.

11:07

The sub music, the sub music stopped. This isn't

11:10

part of the sub music. This hasn't turned out

11:12

to be the confession. OK, OK.

11:15

We probably lost a lot of... I don't think there's

11:17

a lot of sympathy out there for that. There was... What

11:21

an array of emotions we've just gone through in

11:23

the last four minutes. From what turned into a loving

11:25

embrace? It turned into a witch hunt, a

11:27

rat sniff,

11:28

a loving embrace and then back to a

11:30

witch hunt. Yes. One

11:34

thing we heard that we never

11:36

hear on this show is

11:38

the myth of a mistake, which I think was just

11:40

very refreshing. That was nice, wasn't it? Like,

11:43

actually the buck stopping with someone rather

11:45

than it being 50 passes around

11:48

the back. Usually the buck is passed

11:50

around like someone trying to protect a 3-1 lead in

11:53

the 85th minute. So... Can

11:55

I also... Like a new jumper, I'm not sure how that

11:57

feels. Yes, it was a joke.

11:59

We might have to put a warning at the front.

12:03

Like some podcasts have, you know, like warnings about sensitive

12:05

content and stuff. We could say, look, you know, if

12:07

you're a fan of the Hamish Annie show, someone on this podcast

12:10

will admit fault. Yeah. So

12:14

if that, if that's something you're uncomfortable hearing

12:16

from this show, maybe go to another episode.

12:19

But what I'd like to suggest, Mike,

12:22

is that in the past when we've had these type of problems,

12:25

we've asked for apologies in song. Back,

12:27

you've been on the receiving end of having to apologize

12:30

for his song. It's the only way to apologize. It's

12:32

the language of sorry's on this show. You've got a house

12:34

scholarship in singing. It just felt

12:36

like if you're happy, could we give

12:39

you a week, you come back and

12:41

apologize in song for us.

12:43

Yep. And I'll apologize to your face. Like

12:45

I made you look like an idiot. I wasn't an idiot.

12:49

A lot of people were saying Andy looks

12:51

like an idiot. And that will stick now. I

12:53

will. Even though he's slightly under it, there'll always

12:55

be a, there'll always be the slight stink

12:57

of idiot on him. Yeah. But

13:00

I, yeah, I'm happy to apologize via

13:02

song. Mike, this is absolutely, this should be in

13:04

your wheelhouse because it's just like year nine. Science

13:07

has let you down and music will bring you back. I

13:10

normally ring the bell, but Mike, you haven't brought it

13:12

in.

13:13

Add that to your song. I

13:15

actually think that's one of Carly's roles. And

13:19

it's nice to have some buck passing back. Ding,

13:24

ding.

13:30

And on this show, we'd like to

13:32

scour the lands for people with

13:35

incredible special skills. People self-nominate hammyshaney.com

13:38

if you do have one

13:39

and you want to fill out the form there or just drop us a line about anything.

13:43

Occasionally though, one will come up where you

13:45

look at it and you go, okay, this,

13:47

how does this happen? Something's

13:50

going on. This is

13:52

like almost,

13:54

this is true X-Man ability

13:56

because it's the heightening, the extreme heightening

13:59

of one's sense.

13:59

I believe. His name is Joshua

14:03

and I'll preface this by saying he has worked

14:05

in banking for 16 years.

14:07

It doesn't work there anymore.

14:10

But it is a money-related special skill.

14:13

He joins us on the line. Joshua Ahoy. Ahoy,

14:15

Ahoy, Joshua. Joshua, would you like

14:17

to tell Ando what your skill is? Well,

14:21

Ando, I can smell the difference between

14:23

a $20 note and any other

14:26

note or denomination. Smell

14:29

the difference. He's a sniffer. I

14:31

know. He's a note-sniffer. I have

14:33

to double-check you didn't say see the difference. Spell

14:36

the difference. 20 T-W-E-M-D-Y. Hang

14:39

on. I would have assumed the print... It's

14:43

all made of the same stuff. The print ink

14:46

and the plastic would be the same

14:48

stench. I think it's

14:50

something to do with the red ink. Have

14:55

other people tried this where they can

14:57

also smell the difference?

14:59

No. It's

15:01

not something that I've walked around and said, can I

15:03

check your wallet? Can we work this out? It would seem like

15:05

a scam. Does it have to be a fresh note?

15:08

Excuse me, sir. Can you pull out two bits

15:10

of money and let me hold them and sniff them? I

15:12

promise I'm not going to run away. Does

15:15

it have to be a fresh note? No, it

15:17

doesn't. It needs to

15:19

be like a... You can't do one note. It's got to

15:21

be in banking equals stacks and

15:24

folds. Say like 10 notes or 100 notes.

15:26

It's got to be a few. Hang

15:30

on. You need more than one to get enough of it.

15:35

Yeah, I could do it just off one. That'd be...

15:39

Now it's beginning to sound like a heist. Sorry,

15:42

mate. You've

15:44

come to the right show, though. You could always have a bunch

15:46

of stacks and folds on your way up. Why

15:50

don't you just uncuff the briefcase? You always have that.

15:53

What have you got in there? Can

15:55

you identify other notes than 20s or

15:58

is it just the 20 that sticks out?

16:00

Just the 20. So it's to say... I think I have 100.

16:04

Andy's, Andy hasn't seen a 20 for a long time.

16:07

I mean, no use. Okay,

16:09

so it's... Andy's fascinated. Would you

16:11

say the five... These are the money. Non-greens?

16:15

How... quite... What,

16:18

to buy a single pee or something? Well,

16:21

you're in the same. I don't care.

16:25

I don't know what you've got going on at Geraldine.

16:30

Anyway, Josh, talk to

16:32

me. So is it the same ink

16:35

potentially for the fives, the tens, the

16:37

fifties and the hundreds? And

16:39

it's the red ink of the 20 that

16:42

has a different smell, maybe. I think it's something

16:44

to do. So for me, it smells a little

16:46

bit like match heads.

16:48

Okay. And so that's the closest

16:51

thing I can think of. This is interesting. Now,

16:54

I'm actually a little bit curious because it

16:56

says you worked in banking for 16 years before moving on to real estate. That's

16:59

what you say in your email. Were you

17:01

let go due to the sniffing or do you feel

17:03

like you think you sniffed enough

17:06

and it was time to move on after 16 years

17:09

of sniffs? I decided to

17:11

take another part. Okay. You

17:14

did? And can you say... It

17:18

was decided.

17:18

It was decided. It was decided

17:21

by... We mutually agreed upon. All

17:24

right, sniffy. I think we've had

17:26

enough, mate. I agree. Can

17:30

you tell the difference between a

17:32

Ray White pamphlet and a first? This

17:37

is a two bed, one bath. This

17:40

could be a three bed. It needs to

17:42

be a stone for your estate. Sorry, sorry.

17:45

Wrong ad for wrong company. Well,

17:47

hang on. Can we put Josh

17:48

on hold for a second? Sorry, Josh.

17:51

He's on hold. He's

17:54

kind of told us how he does. No, he's

17:56

keeping away his secret. Where's he lived? What about this?

17:59

He's in... coastal New South Wales. You

18:01

could train him down to Sydney. That is cheaper than

18:03

an airfare. What about this? It's

18:05

also funny to say man's stiff money, isn't it? That

18:08

is true.

18:10

I mean, I've seen it a fair bit, obviously being

18:12

friends with Andy

18:15

followed by things like that smell that

18:17

home has the sweet, sweet smell of success.

18:22

But I know what you mean.

18:24

Here's the thing though. Would you give it a

18:26

go, Andy? Oh. What I was thinking was

18:28

if we did it next week or something, we could

18:30

get you to have a sniff of some bundles.

18:33

And if you can't get it, then I

18:35

would be interested in seeing him get it. If

18:38

you can, I mean, have we just discovered a

18:40

fun little trick? I think that's probably right.

18:42

I think so. If we got me a set

18:44

of... Stacks and folds.

18:46

And I suppose I just smell a bunch

18:48

of them and go, this is the one that smells different.

18:51

Yeah. No. Or

18:53

do we leave Andy in another room like a dog with a... Like

18:55

a tracking dog and you get the scent of the 20, then

18:58

you have to find it

18:59

like a dog. That's different to the skill

19:01

that Josh was doing. Not really.

19:04

Plus, Jack, if you jump on my side of

19:06

your beard, boy, we do get to see Andy do

19:08

it like a dog. No, not like

19:10

a dog. What you do is we have five stacks of money

19:12

on the bench and we take you in another room

19:14

and you get the scent of the 20s like

19:17

a dog. And then you go to match it. Actually, I like

19:19

it. Then Jack, you bring him in on

19:20

a weave and you

19:23

have to smell that there'll be one of the

19:25

bundles will be 20s and you have to sniff it like

19:27

a dog.

19:28

And then you woof when you're at the... You

19:31

woof when you're at the 20s because you should

19:33

be able to smell the difference in the bundles. Yeah,

19:36

that makes sense. Okay,

19:39

so next down, because Jack and Andy's money's

19:41

different dog challenge. Yeah, that makes

19:43

sense. I mean, it doesn't.

19:46

It doesn't really. Like if Beck turns up to visit

19:48

halfway through this, it won't make sense. And

19:51

if it does make sense to her, that's a real worry

19:53

for our home life. Oh, you guys do

19:55

that as well. Oh, you're doing money sniffing dog. Cool.

19:58

Yeah,

19:58

he's good at that. We'll

20:02

tell Josh.

20:09

Fellas, a couple of weeks ago,

20:11

I did a few things that I enjoy

20:13

all at once. A,

20:16

put gear to use. Bought

20:19

gear. Bought actual camping gear. And went with

20:22

Buddy of ours Hugh to do a few

20:25

nights alpine camping, right? This

20:27

is something we've had booked in for a long time. And

20:30

it was just like an idea that we're like, let's go.

20:33

Let's do something difficult, bit outside of our comfort

20:35

zone. And it's just, it's basically like we went with

20:37

a guide and you learn how, like some basic

20:40

mountaineering stuff like camping in the snow.

20:42

Yeah, camping in the snow. So we're in the snowy mountains

20:44

in New South Wales, right? Like near Jindebain

20:47

kind of thing. So you're in the snow,

20:49

you're out there like

20:50

no more than five to eight kilometres

20:53

from a car park. But you're in the back country.

20:55

Like you go over a few mountains. And it looks,

20:57

and it feels like you're in the snow. So you're kind of just like

20:59

learning how to make camp in the snow and all the difficulties

21:01

that comes with it.

21:03

Great fun. Had a ball.

21:05

And I took a photo of Hugh and I, like it was on our last day as

21:07

we were hiking out and you kind of like

21:10

beautiful day. We're in front of some gum trees.

21:12

Just a nice photo, right? To remember the day by. I

21:15

put something on Instagram and it was, was the

21:17

effect of, hey, great few days

21:19

away with Hugh in

21:21

the snow.

21:22

I tagged it summit of Mount Everest, right? And

21:25

then we're in front of some of the things, because

21:28

we're in front of gum trees. Sarcasm. That's sarcasm.

21:31

That's sarcasm, yes. This is where you learn. Don't be subtle

21:33

on Instagram. No, never be subtle. People

21:37

aren't there to understand

21:40

the subtleties of your caption or your tags or

21:42

whatever. So there's me in here in front of the gum trees.

21:44

I go, great few days.

21:47

Great fun to summit Mount Everest with

21:50

Hugh.

21:50

Great few days in the mountains.

21:52

We were just going to

21:55

go to the snowy mountains in New South Wales and

21:57

learn some mountaineering skills, but we decided

21:59

to push on.

21:59

and do a midweek Everest Summit instead.

22:02

And I'm so glad we did, right? Then

22:05

I even said, beautiful to see

22:07

the summit gums out. Very

22:09

rare this time of year in Nepal to see

22:11

the summit gum trees. Great fun, blah, blah, blah.

22:15

I thought that contained enough comedy

22:18

or jokes. I picked up on

22:20

the fact that you went down. You got

22:22

that. We know because we

22:24

saw him on Tuesday. So it's weird that he was,

22:26

that's true, but I still think even I think that I didn't

22:28

see him on Tuesday. I

22:31

don't think he's at the summit of Mount Everest,

22:33

which doesn't have any trees. There

22:35

are no summit gums on Everest, even

22:37

summit spruces, summit pines. Anyone

22:40

that's ever seen a doco quite barren up

22:42

there in what's known as the death zone, you don't often find.

22:45

There's just no forest type activity. However,

22:48

this is one of the ones where when you've been doing something for

22:50

a few days, like your head's in it, so you think it's an obvious

22:52

joke. And because we were out there with this legend of a guy, this American

22:55

guy called Robert, who does guide on

22:57

Everest and stuff. So here we are

22:59

at like 1500 meters elevation, but

23:02

he's telling us about life on 8,000 meters.

23:06

He's known a lot of Everest stories and stuff. And so we

23:09

perhaps we're coming from the knowledge that when you climb

23:11

Mount Everest, it takes about two months to climb Mount Everest.

23:14

Like you're on the mountain for about two months. You climb up, you climb down,

23:16

you climb up tires. It's not a week. It's

23:18

not a week. There's no such thing as a midweek

23:20

Everest. Even if you got direct flights

23:23

straight into Kathmandu, it's still

23:26

a time consuming climb. So I think that's why I thought

23:28

this will definitely sell as comedy. But of course, if

23:31

you're not into mountaineering and you don't care about

23:33

this, you don't know that it's two months to climb it. Mate,

23:36

the amount of people. So in the comments, there's

23:38

a fair few, I sort of posted and I saw

23:40

the comments coming through going, wow, that's amazing. You know, my

23:42

brother did it two years ago. Like you want to remember,

23:44

everyone like, oh, oh. My cousin left the first

23:47

to do it without oxygen. You're in here. And

23:49

also, yeah, we're just smiling like no oxygen, no sherpas.

23:52

Like beautiful day. Like you

23:55

probably could see some manmade structures

23:57

like behind Robert who took the photo of us. So.

24:00

I texted you and I said, hey, just a quick

24:02

heads up. I

24:06

thought I made quite a clear joke on Instagram.

24:09

I said, I think some people think we went

24:11

to Mount Everest, not the snowy mountains. He goes,

24:13

that makes so much sense because someone

24:16

that I work with here at the Resilience Brace is just

24:18

congratulating, send me a very heartfelt email congratulating

24:21

me for summoning, right?

24:24

Then during the week, I actually,

24:26

I ran into Lee Sales, posted

24:28

Australian story, former 730 report.

24:31

And she did the thing that again, everybody,

24:34

you're forgiven for doing anything because you just flick past

24:36

and you go, right, that's what that person's up to. And

24:38

we're all keeping track of hundreds of people. So

24:41

she goes, hey, did I see you at Everest? Well

24:43

done. I went, no, sorry,

24:45

you've fallen for it as well. And

24:48

she'd hate that because a journalist like

24:50

that. I was like, Lee, you check facts.

24:53

Like her whole life is very fact checky.

24:55

So I was glad I was able to give her the context there.

24:58

What I did realize though, is like,

25:02

I never climbed Mount Everest because I have no interest in climbing

25:04

Mount Everest. And you have

25:06

to risk, you have to, you definitely have to

25:08

be willing to risk your life to do that.

25:10

Huge amount of respect for the people that do, but I have zero

25:12

interest. I'm in the Everest camp.

25:16

The other reason I never climb it is, you get absolutely

25:18

no kudos for it because I spent

25:21

a week, I spent the last couple of weeks

25:23

with many people thinking I've climbed Mount

25:26

Everest

25:27

and you get a very casual

25:29

well done. It doesn't match

25:31

too much. It is

25:34

so not anywhere near what

25:36

I would be expecting for climbing Mount Everest. Close

25:38

to a 5K fun run. It's what

25:40

you get for city to surf. Yeah. Oh,

25:43

well done, mate. Climbed Everest, did you get to finish this medal?

25:45

Are you joking? I sit

25:47

down. If I climb Mount Everest, you'll hear about it. You

25:49

will be here about it for three hours every

25:52

time I see you. And then I'll think of more things

25:54

I didn't tell you and I'll show you photos and I'll

25:56

make sure you know how uncomfortable it was.

25:58

Like, why? That would be

26:00

my advice to anyone who's thinking of climbing Mount Everest

26:03

or the kudos Careful. You

26:05

don't get it. You won't get it. People

26:07

don't care

26:13

Guys we've talked about this on the show before

26:16

Where there if there's an early declaration

26:19

of losing touch and you bring

26:21

that forward to everybody Yep, that

26:24

perhaps we looked favourably and I wondered whether

26:26

I think you remember that episode I Self-declared

26:29

almost everything in my life To

26:32

give me immunity immediate immunity.

26:34

We've racked up a lot more since then No, but I kept it general

26:36

I said any living arrangement any clothing

26:39

arrangement any purchase any holiday Well, what

26:41

I wanted to do is go a bit more specific Okay

26:44

I've got one to declare and I wondered whether if we

26:46

had more of a church type the cathedral

26:48

can you know setting and It's

26:50

a confession. Are you looking for forgiveness? I'm

26:52

looking for well, you guys can choose

26:55

to give me Are you saying

26:57

that the church is known for looking the other way? Okay,

27:03

so you've got to a place and has

27:06

in some pockets a history of looking

27:08

the other way yes

27:09

I've got something to declare. I feel like

27:11

it's going to come back to you And

27:14

so like we'll hear about it. You'll hear about it I

27:16

don't want to be drawn across the hot coals

27:19

on this is this something to do with your

27:21

new house the haunted house You're turning into a mansion

27:23

right nothing to do with that because I had someone

27:26

mentioned something You've got a TV in

27:28

a dog's room or something But

27:33

it's not even having its own room must be

27:35

very not one of the dog rooms yeah,

27:38

that might be true Isn't that amazing?

27:40

Wow? Wow, what's

27:42

in the dog's room? I

27:45

think the dog might have a little golf sim sticks

27:49

him The dogs

27:52

got oculus and chasing virtual

27:54

sticks everywhere We'll

27:58

come back to that another time

28:00

But I've got something else I need to get off my chair. Okay,

28:02

you're happy for me to yes

28:05

step into the Step

28:08

into the con enclave. Yeah,

28:10

and so I'm a should I in the confession

28:12

booth on the big door? Yeah, this is

28:14

your footsteps. We all on your back You're

28:19

in the confession booth we're already upstairs

28:21

are we that's I'm getting into it now Brother

28:27

Andrew what brings you

28:29

before us? Forgive

28:30

me guys because I've certainly

28:33

lost touch with the common man in recent weeks. It's

28:35

it has been prophesized

28:39

Bit of backstory,

28:41

yes, I Flew

28:44

interstate to watch a football match AFL

28:47

must be nice and we must

28:50

all chant must be nice and The

28:53

economy 2023 have

28:56

you always flown economy when going interstate

28:58

brother Andrew might I remind you you're

29:01

in the church of the common man You must tell the

29:03

truth Not always let

29:05

the bishops speak More

29:16

like a board hearing now brother

29:18

Andrew as they have you

29:21

always flown economy interstate

29:25

You have either so let's not

29:27

I have too hard a pebble I

29:31

think whilst my pebble might have wait I

29:33

don't think you have the boulder to throw back

29:36

So of course I have also been

29:38

known and I repent to fly

29:40

business interstate However,

29:42

brother Andrew have you always phone

29:45

commercial? I

29:46

Went brother Andrew

29:49

I must ask you have you flown commercial

29:52

always business or economy commercial let

29:54

me get to the end of my story 23d

29:58

on the way up

30:01

on the way back I took a private jet. This

30:05

is not the incident in question is it? But

30:09

I just thought I'd get a quick warm-up

30:11

confession out of you. So

30:14

that's what's happened. And

30:16

I just want to acknowledge it. Is

30:19

this the first time you've flown private? No, I've plied

30:21

with you guys. It's true, it's hard

30:23

to... That's annoying. He's got us there. We

30:25

did fly over the cool boys in the front van. Yeah, cool boys. That

30:27

was a very little jet. Right,

30:30

it was very small. That was to

30:32

use Brother Jack's terminology. That was entry-level

30:35

prof.

30:38

Way, being tall, you almost had

30:40

to, even in your seat, kick your hand a little

30:42

bit. I agree. Would have preferred Jetstar.

30:45

They at least have full headroom. Yes,

30:48

so on the way back from

30:49

a recent game, a friend of mine said, how

30:52

you flying back? I said, just on

30:54

Qantas, he said, cancel it. Come

30:57

with me. Wowie. Wow.

30:59

That's quite a friend. So your friend

31:02

has a private jet? Yeah. Geez.

31:07

Jack. Jack. Access to one. Name the

31:09

last friend you hung out with that wasn't

31:11

us and the vehicle they have

31:13

to get around. All right, the last

31:16

friend would be in

31:18

Radio Mike, who does

31:20

have his own car, but... The

31:22

private car. But

31:25

for the last... Wait, the bus?

31:27

Cancel it. LAUGHTER

31:32

I've got myself a private... I

31:38

can just call

31:38

it a car. He's

31:46

got his own car, but... Brother

31:50

Andrew, might I remind you not to

31:52

mock the common man? You're

31:54

confessing. Don't mock. No

31:57

mocking. But Mike has a weird

31:59

arrangement with his...

31:59

brother where he lets him drive

32:02

the car whenever he wants so

32:04

much so that for the last three and a half months

32:06

his brothers had the car and Mike hasn't seen it. That's

32:09

too generous of an arrangement Mike. Talking about

32:11

the bus and

32:14

the tram Mike's always like well I can't

32:17

it's not really easy for me to get there on public transport

32:19

so I won't come. Yeah right. Because his

32:21

own car is with his brother. And my friend

32:23

doesn't have that problem.

32:28

Your friend seems to enjoy much

32:30

travel. Is the common man part of it?

32:32

I took the photos. No, that's not a common

32:35

man. That's just his first traffic.

32:37

That's influence of behaviour. No I didn't post

32:39

it. No I'm just saying but everyone would take photos

32:41

in a private jet because that's the... I

32:43

would hope so. He didn't.

32:45

Yeah but he owns the jet. I'd say as a guest

32:48

of the jet. The other thing that happened that...

32:50

Common man is sneaking on. As

32:52

a fake steward. Did

32:54

you get a refund for

32:56

your Qantas flight that you didn't take? Yes.

32:59

That is a common man. Not to just let the money

33:01

disappear. But there's Andy we're talking about. Of course

33:04

you got a refund. It's not wasteful.

33:07

And then the other thing when we

33:09

got there, you know in succession how they

33:11

have the car just parked like out on the runway

33:13

and then he can just walk straight down the ladder and

33:16

got into the car.

33:17

He had that. I didn't have that. I had to walk out

33:19

and get an Uber. Gotcha. Yeah couldn't get the

33:21

Uber on the tarmac. We

33:23

will allow this brother Andrew

33:26

purely based on succession.

33:28

I'll allow anyone to ride on a private jet

33:31

once because you can

33:33

pretend you're in succession. Or in Andy's case twice

33:35

because we have been on one before. Now

33:39

who would you say you are? Kendall. You're

33:43

a Kendall. Yeah unfortunately.

33:46

Jack? You're not a Roman.

33:48

No. I don't

33:50

think I'm in the show. I'm

33:54

a cock-crick over there. Sorry.

33:56

So spot on. That's okay because I'm

33:58

probably Shiv.

34:03

Hey,

34:07

credit where credit's due and I want to just look across

34:09

at my good mate over there and say you've

34:12

had a great idea and it's taken

34:14

fire. And so

34:16

obviously cheeky boy toilets have

34:18

really taken the world by storm.

34:20

Yeah. This is our Google map

34:22

we invented for non,

34:25

well, non-traditional

34:27

public toilets. Drilllets

34:30

that can be accessed by the public

34:32

if they know where to look and

34:35

how to play the game. Yep. And

34:37

we've so far had 478 locations

34:39

added around the world. Wonderful.

34:44

One in Antarctica, which is great

34:47

for people who find themselves down there. Well,

34:50

it's actually really, you need it because in

34:52

Antarctica,

34:54

I mean, this is the, well, Antarctica

34:56

is a wonderful place for many reasons, but it's also

34:58

a continent where something

35:01

that's generally discouraged, which is pooping

35:04

behind a tree or whatever, is

35:06

actively discouraged in Antarctica. You must

35:08

go in the toilet. It's hard to find a tree. Just for,

35:11

there's no trees. But I mean, but

35:13

even if you found a snow mound,

35:16

huge no-no to poop on Antarctica.

35:19

I mean, also just for the metaphor of like trying to

35:21

protect the planet. Yep. But you

35:23

know, you got to keep it pristine, isn't it? Yeah, very important.

35:25

Even on expeditions and stuff, there's like toilets up

35:28

the mountain.

35:29

So, what

35:31

people are doing is they're adding where

35:34

a toilet might be a sneaky one, where

35:36

if you are busting, you can access it.

35:38

They're clean, they're fun and you're happy

35:40

about it. Can I quickly give you

35:43

an update on my butcher's one? Because

35:45

I have one near my house out

35:48

the back of a butcher. They claim to have

35:50

been on to me for, they

35:52

say, weeks or months. I

35:54

don't believe that's true because I have

35:57

never been caught in there. I

36:00

had a moment the other day where I

36:02

thought it was all over because

36:04

I never, I actually haven't been back in the butchers

36:06

after we've read this correspondence because,

36:09

well, you just don't like go. I thought I was getting

36:11

away with it and they completely know that. Well,

36:13

we know who you are and we know what you're doing in our toilet. And

36:15

I've talked about, I mentioned the fact I'm happy to clean

36:17

it, happy to contribute, just cut me in, you

36:19

know, bring me in as part of the team.

36:23

I went in there the other morning and

36:26

was doing the right thing, being very,

36:28

very clean, coming up on myself, actually replaced the

36:30

toilet roll, you know, trying to be a good

36:33

guest,

36:34

but came out of the toilet into

36:36

the back alley behind the shops.

36:38

Who should be approaching me? But

36:40

a man dressed. What

36:42

could only be described as a butchers out here.

36:45

So the apron, you know, blood on the apron,

36:47

bean in stuff. And we lock eyes.

36:50

And I think, what are the chances? I've

36:52

been done. Someone's taking a break right now.

36:55

Been done. He approaches me. Knobs,

36:58

walks past me. I think, hey, what's

37:00

going on here? Gets in a truck.

37:03

He's a delivery truck. He's a butcher deliverer. He's

37:05

a meat. He literally was the,

37:09

he was, yeah, he was the

37:11

truck driver. But dresses as a butcher

37:13

to take the meat in. Yeah. He probably

37:15

is a butcher. So he's, so you're not done. I'm

37:18

not done. But mate, in that moment, I mean,

37:20

what are the chances if you're robbing a bank and

37:22

you walk outside and there's a cop there and it turns

37:24

out to be a stripper. Well, I did think

37:26

I thought for a second you were

37:29

a real cop. And I had a moment where I thought

37:31

I was gone. But

37:32

to my knowledge, I'm still undetected

37:34

in that toilet. I'm proud of the amount of locations on

37:36

the Cheeky Boy toilet map, but

37:38

also 82,000 visitors so

37:42

far to utilize it

37:44

as a tool.

37:45

I like to think that that's 82,000

37:48

comfort, more comfortable

37:50

toilet stops because of that. What

37:52

worries me now is like, cause it's going huge

37:55

and like what happens with any kind of startup

37:59

quality control.

37:59

it needs to be required. And

38:02

so you and I discussed

38:04

maybe a little tour.

38:06

I thought that might be nice. Yeah, so

38:09

maybe next week. Jack, do you want to come and have

38:11

a wee with us? I love that idea. Yeah. So

38:13

what we go to, we just pluck some out of a hat

38:15

and go and test the quality. Yeah. And

38:17

just see hats. Just go for a little, like a kind of like

38:19

a, you know, Hollywood stars tour.

38:22

Yeah. Homes of the stars, but more of a cheeky

38:24

boy toilet urban tour. Do we divvy up

38:26

the toilets or we, why don't we just pick one each?

38:29

I think we maybe pick one each and we take

38:31

the other guys and go, this is why I liked this one.

38:33

This is how we get into it. This is what they're promising.

38:36

We should have a lot of drinks, drink a lot of coffee, drink a lot of water.

38:39

And then when we get there, maybe we all need to go. Maybe

38:41

one needs to go. Yeah. See

38:43

if it's meeting expectations

38:46

based on what was promised on the website.

38:48

Usually with the cheeky boy toilets,

38:51

you know, I would say 90% of them are single toilets.

38:54

Okay. So as opposed to like, you know, you get the

38:56

hotel ones and stuff like that, that have four

38:58

or five toilets in there. But a lot of the time it

39:01

is that

39:02

it's a, it's a poorly guarded cafe toilet

39:04

or it's a back alley toilet or it's

39:06

a, it's an office, you know, small business

39:08

shared toilet. You can sneak in here's the couple

39:11

of people providing the code to, which I really appreciate.

39:14

So, so

39:17

that's, so it could, well, there might not be,

39:19

you know, we're not all going to go in there and have sword fights. So

39:21

we, but we might, but we might not know rules.

39:24

Let's go for a tour. Love it. Love it.

39:29

Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy

39:32

podcast will return next week. Catch

39:34

up or contribute at Hamishandandy.com