Episode Transcript
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Activate your internet, because
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the Hamish and Andy podcast starts
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in three, two...
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Sorry, still buffering. One!
0:23
Ahoy to the lion, Hamish.
0:27
I'll take animals that
0:29
we think of when we say the person's name
0:31
and whose qualities the person represents.
0:34
For $100, thank you. Ando,
0:36
and might I say I am in fierce
0:39
agreement with you. I am a lion. Ahoy
0:41
to me witch, Jacko. Well,
0:44
not an animal, so... And I
0:46
wouldn't say I'm not aligned with it, and I would say
0:48
I know what we are. We're Narnia.
0:51
I am the wardrobe.
0:53
Rare for you not to give yourself
0:56
the lion. Well, step on in, guys.
0:58
Well, actually, you don't... You are magical. You don't
1:00
step on in. Does the lion ever
1:03
next come out into the real world? I think the lion lives
1:05
in Narnia, and he can't come out. Yeah, yeah,
1:07
yeah. He's the king, isn't he? I'm basing all
1:09
of this off the trailer. And
1:12
the witch probably lives in Narnia as well. Only the
1:14
kids live in the real world. You never know what
1:16
the witch is up to. I'm sure, and again,
1:18
haven't seen it, don't email in, but I'm sure
1:21
if you're in charge of that franchise, as if there's
1:23
not
1:23
a bit where they escape
1:25
into the real world. I mean, that's minutes
1:28
of screen time. If not, I never get to meet you guys.
1:31
Yeah. You guys are just all hanging out
1:33
in the world, and I'm like this... I'm
1:35
sure we bounce back and forth between the worlds,
1:38
and that's probably the cause of some
1:40
mayhem that the kids have to sort out. So
1:42
in that scenario, Andy, Man
1:44
Jack are using you to further
1:46
our own interests. Which could
1:49
be... I'll email
1:51
about that. I don't think that actually happens from my
1:53
recollection of the line of witch war. What's
1:56
your recollection? Have you... I think
1:58
they stay in Narnia, isn't it?
1:59
Yeah, I think they stay in Narnia. You don't even know
2:02
the name of the world. How can we trust your recollection?
2:04
I think in the original book,
2:07
the original book, they just stay in the world.
2:09
The lion nor the witch come into
2:11
the kids world. Ever. I don't think
2:13
ever. So they don't do a Jumanji. You
2:15
don't have a lion running through the house. No,
2:18
no, no. No, they don't do that. No opportunity.
2:21
And then Mr. Tumnus is what Jack kind of looks
2:23
like. Kind of? Yeah. It's
2:26
amazing. It's an amazing likeness. Jack,
2:32
it is an amazing likeness. No, it's not. Half
2:34
man, half goat. It does look a lot like. A fawn.
2:37
Yeah, it does look a lot like. Jacko. And
2:40
I, as the lion, am the classic
2:43
sort of half man, half lion, but born
2:45
with the head of a lion. No, you're a full
2:47
lion. You're a full lion. I'm going to take it there. Ahoy
2:49
the Inti, who told
2:51
us what he's up to at HamishNeed.com.
2:55
Ahoy. So, Hamish, Andy, and
2:57
number 60. Inti here,
2:59
big fan. And I've just been reflecting
3:02
on how the shapes of the first letter of
3:04
each of your names embody who each of
3:06
you are as people. Oh my God. For
3:08
example, there's A for Andy. A
3:11
is a strong triangular shape. I
3:13
think Andy leads the way forward, like a powerful
3:15
arrow for the team. Okay. And then
3:17
there's H for Hamish, which is another strong, robust
3:20
shape, a bit wider, which is the body of the
3:22
team and the pillars of strength. And
3:25
then I suppose there's J for Jack,
3:27
a bit more of a flimsy letter, so I'm not sure about
3:29
that one. But I think it does
3:32
look a little bit like the tail of
3:34
a weasel. Anyway, boys,
3:36
love your work. Ciao, ciao. So
3:38
creative. It's J, not flimsy. It's
3:40
pretty flimsy. It is. You couldn't
3:43
balance it. Like, it needs someone else to stand. That's
3:45
true. Honestly, Jack, in engineering terms, you've got the A-frame, well
3:47
known, well known how to
3:55
house structure, especially for alpine regions.
3:58
You've got an H-beam, which is like an... I've
4:00
been like one of the strongest structures you can have
4:02
in bridge construction You
4:04
don't see a lot of J stuff. No, see
4:06
that can crack under pressure The J
4:08
is more of a hanging letter like you it would
4:11
hang nicely from something Well, but
4:13
you wouldn't well known a J can hang Yeah,
4:15
it hogs itself onto other things It
4:19
hogs a ball It kind
4:21
of hangs off It kind of
4:23
hangs off So,
4:25
Inti has raised some interesting
4:27
points there I think it's super creative and certainly
4:30
unprovoked Just
4:33
one, have a go at the structural
4:37
integrity The first letter of
4:39
your name is one of the more
4:42
outrageous terms But
4:44
you still feel everything in my body
4:47
feels like I need to defend it There
4:50
are so many great Jacks and John
4:52
and Janet Jacks already thinking
4:55
about how weak an eye is for Inti You're
4:57
like, oh really mate, you wouldn't
4:59
hold up too much stuff Bet
5:02
you wish you were an age Hey,
5:07
I asked for the top of the show today Because I
5:09
was recently moving house Going
5:12
through boxes of stuff that you realise
5:14
you shouldn't have probably moved from the other house
5:16
And I discovered that it was very exciting You
5:20
actually sent me a few artifacts
5:22
from along with Jenny And he's been sending me some,
5:24
it's like a modern day archaeological dig And
5:26
he's just like holding up a Dave Hughes DVD
5:30
I think, should I keep this? Just
5:34
the important things made it across Did
5:37
you keep the Hughes DVD? No, that
5:39
is not made it across You
5:42
can probably stream it now I
5:44
think I said Hughes, do you want this? I think
5:47
I sent it to him And he said, what do you
5:49
mean you're throwing it out? And I didn't
5:52
If you wrote back name three jokes from
5:54
this Then I don't reckon it would be good What
5:57
I found was this old computer
5:59
companion.
6:00
Oh, gross. Yeah,
6:03
that's the tooth. Tooth where
6:06
I... That was your fake tooth. Yes, my fake
6:08
tooth. It was purpose-built for
6:10
me. I lost my front left tooth after
6:12
an eye socket incident. I flipped over.
6:15
That you and I... Well, I wasn't... I flipped over. I flipped
6:18
over. Well, we weren't playing a match. We're
6:22
having a tap around in this little bit. We
6:25
were only on the court for two minutes remembering the not
6:27
on the court. That's
6:30
how little we know about the sport. We
6:32
didn't even know what the surface was playing on the
6:34
court. Yeah, so we tap
6:36
around for our stand by our ice lucky team.
6:39
Which, you know, we talked about
6:41
before on the show. Then there was a slip
6:43
over and I used to slip forward. Bad
6:45
part of it. We don't know
6:47
why you flipped. So you slipped over,
6:49
bit of a mill house. Bang. Tooth's
6:52
gone. And I turned
6:54
up for skating practice the next week. Jack, you were
6:56
there. I think Jez might have come as well. But the
6:59
gusto was out of the team. I jumped around here. Andy,
7:03
it turns out how easy it was to get injured. Even just during
7:05
your tap around. Yes. So I found
7:07
this. A lot of good memories, Ham. I
7:10
remember when we had meatloaf on the show. We
7:15
were wearing mince meat on our feet for
7:17
mince loafers. For meatloafers. And
7:20
he didn't really acknowledge them. That
7:22
was a strange one wasn't it? When
7:24
he came in and we'd gone and bought four packs of mince. And
7:28
just essentially cut a slip from the
7:30
supermarket. Just cut
7:32
a slip in the plastic. Split our feet in. We're having a right old
7:34
giggle before he came in going, look
7:36
at this. Meatloafers. He
7:38
loved it. He's going to
7:41
love this. To
7:43
be fair, if I was in his position and someone
7:45
walked in and they'd made a shoe based
7:47
pun of my name. I don't know what. It's
7:50
not what you can do. I don't
7:52
know what we expected. That's great. He's
7:56
like, oh, he's just doing his goal. He's like,
7:58
guys, two with me.
7:59
You guys
8:00
are the king. And this was before
8:03
he had the kind of non-performance
8:06
at the AFL Grand Final that kind of ended any
8:08
trips to Australia for him. So
8:11
he was still big at the time. He just didn't acknowledge
8:13
them. You and I got the giggles. And when you're
8:15
trying to hold in a laugh, you've got a pressure
8:17
in your mouth and my tooth flunked
8:20
out. Couldn't handle the heat. That
8:22
was exciting for a meatloaf. It also used
8:24
to come out during talk breaks on the radio
8:26
and I've got one here for us. It
8:29
would fling out quite a bit. I mean, at the start
8:31
of this, you were bragging about how well it was custom made
8:33
for my mouth. I don't think it was. I think it
8:36
was just off the rack and the guy went, yeah,
8:38
yeah, yeah, it's custom. Because that thing flew out all the time.
8:40
He had some live flings. This was one of them. Why
8:43
does Christmas have a monopoly on
8:45
the word merry? Maybe it's because everyone
8:47
sits down and there's a lot
8:50
of maybe being merry. Merry just had to
8:52
stay with mine. No, I enjoy the sitting aspect
8:54
of meeting. I know you do. Sorry,
8:56
everyone. You've lost your tooth. I didn't catch it
8:58
with my left hand. Yeah, that's not cool, mate. It would
9:00
fly a lot. It would fly a lot. And what I thought,
9:02
Haim, I mean, it's there.
9:14
There's people out there that don't have a
9:17
front left tooth. They're missing it. Maybe temporarily.
9:20
Maybe they've just missed it. They're missing it this week
9:22
and I'd like the popper. Oh boy. Oh boy.
9:25
I'm like, we thought
9:27
trying to make Jack take a second hand
9:29
toilet was bad. Now this thing,
9:32
how old? It's 12 years since it's cut
9:34
through any food. Yep. 12 years
9:36
since it's been used. Yeah, which is great. I mean,
9:38
it's better than if it was being used for 12 years because then
9:41
I like it. When you're
9:43
when you're obviously buying a car, less
9:46
mileage, the better. Sure. So
9:48
you reckon still got plenty of good jump and lift. Oh,
9:50
yeah. And today I want to launch this.
9:54
Hi, I'm Andy Lee and I'm pleased
9:56
to launch the Fill the Gap initiative today.
9:59
There are times in life when you might find
10:02
yourself toothless. You could, for
10:04
example, be playing ice hockey with a close
10:06
friend called Hamish who passes the puck behind
10:08
you and you lean back to try and get it because
10:10
the pass was so bad and you end up
10:12
falling and smashing your teeth in and he never
10:15
apologizes for the pass being that bad or
10:17
offers to pay your dental bills. Well, let
10:19
us build a gap. If
10:23
you're missing a front left tooth, the number nine
10:26
central incisor, or find yourself missing
10:28
a front left tooth, the number nine central incisor,
10:31
we'll fill the gap. The
10:33
gap between the original and your replacement
10:36
and the gap in your face.
10:40
Are you offering to pay money for people's
10:42
dental stuff? No, I would have spent this hour.
10:45
No, you're not. It's a bit clear. So
10:47
in between getting, there's an awkward
10:50
moment when you've lost a tooth in between getting into
10:52
the dentist to actually get it properly fixed,
10:54
you have a gap. We're going to fill the gap between
10:57
one being knocked out and the
10:59
new one being replaced. We're also going to
11:01
fill the gap in your face. So this is not a one off. You
11:03
want people to use it and then send it back. They
11:05
have to send it back. Yes. You're
11:07
going to run the admin on this? Yes. So, so
11:09
what, Mike? Hamish
11:11
doing calls, taking applications
11:15
and then what, like run an Excel spreadsheet
11:17
or like an iCal who's got the tooth, wins
11:20
it due back. Similar to when we did money for
11:22
the mullets for money for mates. Yeah, we did rent
11:24
out my mullet. It got
11:27
frozen in hairspray and put onto
11:30
a swimming cap. So
11:33
we'll, Hamish,
11:35
if people want to, if we still have that
11:37
mullet too, I mean, if you're in a situation where you're
11:39
bald and missing a tooth
11:43
and you would like both, it's pretty close
11:45
to identity theft, to be honest. Getting
11:47
very close to using. That's a lot of our features.
11:50
That's a great idea. So people can write in if
11:52
you're missing. Special preference will be given to you if you're
11:55
bald and you could use the mullet and
11:57
the tooth. Be warned though, it's a
11:59
short term. Mullet where because your head
12:01
gets very hot swimming cap It
12:04
doesn't breathe and so yes,
12:06
hey machine calm The mullet
12:09
yes special consideration for those that are bald,
12:11
but you have to upload a photo
12:13
proving the loss of teeth I don't want to
12:15
act will it fit into anyone's mouth. I
12:18
hope so Right, so
12:20
it's a Cinderella situation Clear
12:23
enough like so close enough should be good
12:25
like if you well, I mean it's
12:27
not a Cinderella That's the opposite
12:30
I mean the ugly sisters tried to jam their foot in but
12:32
they were found out If it turns out
12:34
to be a perfect fit while we're doing
12:37
this rental program that person can
12:39
keep it forever They're the Cinderella
12:41
lovely but in the meantime you've got a chance
12:44
I mean just slip it in when you're taking a group photo
12:46
just so it helps You know feel
12:48
that awkwardness where you've got a tooth missing front
12:50
could I throw something else out here? I look
12:52
for the record. I still think me giving away the NSYNC
12:55
orator on the show was the best thing We've ever given away.
12:57
I actually think we've a very happy customer
12:59
out there that did fill their sink gap It'll
13:02
be better than the stick you gave away I
13:05
think people love six months. I'm
13:07
not sure about six However,
13:10
well, we might be Forgot
13:14
about People
13:16
we had a lot of people who had a good use for
13:18
a stick Oh, yeah, probably the person
13:20
that got the worst end of the stick was I can't
13:22
remember who had to send them out I had to post back It
13:27
was like sticks out. Can
13:29
I just throw this out there? Maybe we use this.
13:31
Maybe we don't but
13:34
the
13:36
It's pretty pretty normal For those
13:38
that have been to the Northern Territory to Darwin and
13:40
the surrounding areas in croc country She
13:42
as a souvenir by a croc's tooth. They
13:44
do fall out. You can buy a croc's tooth necklace
13:47
like a shark's tooth necklace Since
13:49
we're going to Darwin, I mean, I know
13:51
you've got your program here But if it hasn't
13:54
been rented out, it's a credit do we make
13:56
a necklace out of it that
13:58
we then present to to the
14:01
croc operators that we're doing the piece to, or from,
14:03
which like, you know, it's
14:05
a way for us to show respect
14:08
to the crocs is to give a tooth back. I
14:11
don't know exactly how it works if we make a crocodile
14:13
with a necklace. That is the perfect
14:15
switch. Or if we cut
14:18
it in two, and we make an
14:20
handy tooth necklace to the operators,
14:22
so spectacular gets one and original
14:25
gets one. I think this is a great idea.
14:29
We wanted a plaque to put up at
14:32
the bridge, it's representing
14:34
the teeth. Put your tooth in the plaque. Well,
14:37
yeah, and then I think you're right. I think if they've got a baby
14:39
croc each that we can have it
14:41
wear, if the tooth is worn, a
14:43
necklace worn. As a symbol, that is true,
14:46
a photo opportunity. So we just have a
14:48
shot of a croc wearing a human tooth necklace.
14:51
Yes. Isn't that Jack's
14:53
nodding along, he's giving it a top shot. I'm
14:55
a bit confused by a tick on him. He
14:58
just saw Jack's hand in his hands, going, oh,
15:00
I'm so tired, I want to go home. I
15:08
think we get
15:10
a baby croc wearing a human tooth necklace.
15:12
Yes, and then that's the photo
15:14
opportunity. And then, I mean, that's not confusing,
15:17
Jack. No, you're right. And then we put the necklace
15:19
on a plaque, and that plaque is potentially
15:22
on the bridge if we manage to get
15:24
peace in the north. Sorry,
15:27
I thought you were still dividing that tooth
15:30
into, and then I was thinking, is it two different crocodiles
15:32
held by each owner, or is it one crocodile
15:34
with two necklaces? I understand.
15:37
And you were up early. And also,
15:40
there was a lot of options flying
15:42
around there. Originally,
15:44
I was thinking each owner could
15:46
wear half the tooth. Oh, I know.
15:48
You see friendship necklaces
15:51
sometimes, or two lovers would wear
15:53
and bring a heart together. I
15:56
like that symbolism, but I don't want
15:58
to cram too much into it here. Yeah. And
16:00
then I also think of people on the tour go,
16:02
hey, what's with your necklace cards? Half of
16:04
Andy Lee's old fake tooth. For
16:07
anyone not familiar with the story, it's just
16:09
going to be a nightmare for them to explain the backstory.
16:13
I think it's simple. We keep it as one tooth, make
16:15
a necklace out of it, and then each person,
16:18
each operation gets to hold,
16:20
have a photo with a baby croc with
16:22
the human tooth necklace around its neck. That's
16:25
a lot easier to explain. Yeah. It's just a
16:27
fun photo.
16:34
Gentlemen, before we go on, I
16:36
think I need to bring something to my attention.
16:39
And I think you know what this could be. The
16:42
emails get so 50-50, so I probably
16:44
only think 50% of this. But it
16:47
seems that, it
16:50
very much seems that last episode's
16:53
hypothetical game of what job
16:57
could you fake your way through for a day? Last
17:01
week has upset some
17:04
people, some GPs, some
17:06
doctors. Builders haven't come after.
17:09
Have not come after Jack. Not
17:11
to my reading of the emails, but there's certainly a few
17:13
coming from games. Didn't come after
17:15
me. You seem to be safe from the
17:18
Ponzi community, Endo, but definitely some
17:20
doctor ones landing on my
17:22
side of the fence. And I think
17:26
what has also happened, which doesn't help from some
17:28
of the emails, some of the kind
17:31
ones explaining what's happened, pointed
17:33
to the fact that part of that episode then got transcribed,
17:36
I think, and put on
17:39
a doctor's Facebook page that all doctors look
17:42
at. So not necessarily listen to the show, but regardless,
17:44
one of the different... Different to a dentist Facebook
17:47
page, you can never see their face. Or
17:50
a whole different dentist Facebook page. We
17:52
would have heard from them by now. I think
17:54
we have to stay up front. We love doctors.
17:57
We respect them. We love doctors. Here's the thing. You
17:59
realise that. one. Don't start another vein.
18:01
Let me do the apology. Okay.
18:05
Okay. So the I think
18:08
the thing when you go, this has been transcribed, you go,
18:10
oh, God, this has got out of hand. Like when
18:12
something gets transcribed from a silly environment like
18:14
our show and then you see it in writing, you're
18:16
like, okay, yeah, it's time to this is no,
18:19
no, there's no one no one wins out of this. This doesn't end
18:21
well. So I reckon in that instance,
18:23
you go, we've got two choices here. You
18:25
dig in or you apologize.
18:27
Yeah. Spin the wheel. I'm
18:33
not going to say we love it. We love a dig
18:35
in on this show. We've done a few dig in. But
18:37
in this case, I think it's a very, very
18:40
easy choice for apologize
18:43
because number one, obviously,
18:46
as you mentioned, we've loved doctors and
18:49
very like to see what I love
18:51
to see when they do bottom. And also zero interest
18:54
if this has upset people and it has upset this percentage
18:56
of people. We
19:05
have zero interest in having people hurt.
19:07
That's the main truth. I am now worried about the
19:09
head of Ponzi schemes, though.
19:11
You can hurt them. So that's
19:14
what that's where I'm at. Now, normally this leaves you with
19:16
a few choices on this show. We'd like to do attempted
19:19
to throw a mic under the bus here and just get he told me to
19:21
say. It
19:24
was my mouth. I must take responsibility. I
19:28
don't know. It is nice to have scapegoat on the
19:30
team. Maybe
19:33
just read for the teleprompter. So
19:35
Mike puts Mike in front of him. Look,
19:39
the other option that some suggested
19:41
was an apology song. Some of the more
19:44
the lighter hearted emails said, oh, maybe you can do
19:46
an apology song. Then you look at some of the other thing
19:48
about this was is obviously because the
19:50
general practitioner community, they're a highly intelligent.
19:54
Very articulate. Oh, no, no, they
19:56
were very detailed and made some very great
19:58
points and were very informative. and I read
20:00
the emails and I take them on board and
20:02
reading those emails that really were listing
20:05
in great depth what the work the incredible work
20:07
that a GP does. They didn't put Google
20:09
at the end of there. No, they didn't. No
20:11
part of me was going, I think these guys
20:14
want a funny song. That's
20:21
why I'm like, no, no, okay, so, Linus,
20:24
be really clear. You know, obviously
20:27
we were making a joke, obviously we were doing a funny
20:29
silly thing about what
20:31
jobs could we bluff our way through for
20:34
a day. And in my mind at the time, you know,
20:37
and you and I, one of our favorite things in the world is replacing
20:40
any form of training with overconfidence. And
20:43
that's really the area. It's been a landmark
20:46
and a hallmark of our character over the
20:48
years. Can I say this? I actually
20:52
agree with you. We, you know, GPs
20:54
don't upset them. They do an amazing job. But
20:56
I do want to say this. Not
20:58
everyone's getting this. We, if
21:01
if if... Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't want this
21:03
to be a landslide
21:05
of people wanting apologies for us because
21:07
we say stupid stuff all the time.
21:10
Especially if you go back in time and then we'll be doing apologies
21:12
for the rest of the year. Let's do one a year. Oh. I'm
21:16
happy to use my one for this. The
21:18
group one. We have one each year. I'm happy to use
21:20
the group one for this. I think in
21:22
that environment of us, of me going,
21:24
hey, this is a this is something I think I
21:26
could get through one day with no training. People,
21:29
certainly some GPs heard that as going, you don't
21:31
need training to be a GP, which is obviously not
21:33
true. Let's just say for the record, not true. Not
21:35
what I think. You obviously need
21:38
lots of training. And I also
21:40
say that for building. So
21:43
I have decided to dig in. It's
21:46
actually a dig in, which is fine. You're already
21:48
on a pre-dug environment, often on a building
21:50
site. Usually, if you're French,
21:53
I, you know, yes, we have
21:55
a laugh, but more than that, we don't want upset people. So
21:58
doctors, here's how I look at it. They
22:00
took an oath to do no harm. I broke their
22:02
oath on them and I feel for those
22:04
of you that heard that now I heard I'm very sorry, but
22:07
you heard that and I've had some great conversations with GPs
22:10
some kind of than others On
22:13
Emma, but I have learned a lot from the kinder
22:15
ones You know, it's
22:17
into the playing the game last week. I think the last
22:19
step here is to formally retract my
22:21
answer. Okay Well,
22:25
I mean I'm retracting it because you obviously
22:28
you know I can't I was just for the record in
22:30
case anyone was misled by what's like I don't actually
22:32
think people without training can be GPs So
22:35
even for a day even for a funny day, can you
22:37
get through the day? Yeah, you need nine years
22:39
of training and obviously from talking
22:41
to the doctors They did many many things saving
22:44
things and let's not even do the test because
22:46
the patients Wouldn't want that.
22:48
Yeah, I think you would be bummed out if you're
22:50
a patient you turned up to a GP You're like today. We're
22:52
doing a test where this idiot The
22:54
doctors of the day for the real GPs that can
22:56
be the big enough firefighters. They did
22:59
nothing Well,
23:01
I think there might have been you but we'll revisit But
23:06
yeah, no nine years of training extremely high
23:08
conditions incredible job they do so I
23:10
retract that what's my answer yeah, what's your new
23:12
answer or Last week because
23:15
I obviously don't actually think I could be a GP
23:17
for a day lawyer. It's okay with you and I Would
23:20
like to join your Ponzi scheme Yeah,
23:24
could I join? Andy Lee Ponzi's
23:26
can we would be able to take many people down? That's
23:29
easy. Okay. Well, just let's
23:31
not if I could also just I
23:33
mean you're the boss of the Ponzi scheme But if
23:35
we are going around to trick people out of money to
23:37
invest let's not do GPs The
23:41
thing at the moment, but just I just
23:43
thought we're all becoming friends again and moving forward
23:46
the last thing they need Is a Ponzi
23:49
knock at the door from a cup of the Ponzi, but I'm
23:51
not saying that should be our name either It's a giveaway
23:56
So to end and oh what am I
23:58
gonna say very sorry
23:59
I love GPs.
24:02
Hey,
24:07
five weeks ago, this whole whole thing
24:09
started where we initially spoke
24:11
to a young fellow called Josh, who said
24:13
he had a special skill, which I went, turns
24:17
out I should have gone, because
24:19
it was in fact very difficult
24:22
to smell a $20 note or
24:24
to identify a note just by sniffing
24:26
it. He joins us in the studio. Joshua,
24:29
how are you? Ahoy, boys. Ahoy, Josh. We've
24:32
now learned that you
24:34
are one of a very special band, a note sniffer.
24:37
And they're tough. You're a special breed. They're
24:40
tough to identify. It's been one that's
24:42
gone around the office now, and I'm glad it's stuck with note
24:44
sniffer and not anything else. Yep. He's
24:47
a sniffer. Josh, did you hear me? Like
24:50
in the banking game, you were, well, it was cloudy.
24:52
You were either asked to leave or you agreed to leave
24:55
the bank due to all the note sniffing or it
24:57
just... Look, it was mutually great upon us. I didn't think it was
24:59
just put upon us or... Yeah, absolutely. Onwards and upwards,
25:01
I reckon. Josh, did
25:03
you see or hear my attempt of
25:05
this a few weeks back? I heard
25:08
it, yes. Yeah. Weird thing I went
25:10
wrong. 16 years in the bank. Yeah.
25:14
Not enough on notes, and
25:16
you can't just expect a stroll in, whether
25:18
you're a dog or not. I didn't even take a different
25:21
scent, though. That's the problem I have with it, Haym.
25:23
That's why sometimes, like
25:25
we've said for the Olympics, it's nice to have a slow
25:28
person in lane 10 running alongside the
25:30
fast person to establish how fast they're going. I
25:32
couldn't even tell a difference in the scent
25:34
of all the notes. And I've got to
25:36
know, we've proved this before with
25:39
the pizza select, I managed to smell
25:41
exactly what type of pizza it is through
25:43
the box. So Josh has got something special,
25:45
if you can pull this off. Yeah, I did actually smell
25:47
a bit of a difference, but I know what you're saying, Andrew.
25:52
It was hard for the every man. Now,
25:54
we've got the stacks of notes in front
25:57
of us here again, Josh, today. The piles of
25:59
money have been bought back in. Jack has been instructed
26:01
to sit over the other side of the desk. Did you
26:03
do a sticky fingers
26:06
situation we saw during the setup last
26:08
week? He caused those, came
26:10
flashing back to him I think. You can take the boy
26:12
away from the candy bar. He
26:16
will remember his guilt. Straight
26:19
away, we just saw Jack's hand dart
26:21
out. Put the money straight
26:23
in the sock and then say cinema 4 please.
26:26
Before he realised where he was. We
26:29
have the stacks again. There
26:32
are 10 of each denomination. I only
26:34
just learnt today when I was like, I had them in a pile, that
26:37
every note is a different size. I knew fives were
26:39
a little up, but I didn't know every single note is different. And
26:42
they go top to bottom. Yeah,
26:44
so hundreds are the biggest and then they get smaller as they get down
26:46
to fives. We wondered how big a million dollar note would
26:48
be if you were going by the same ratio. It
26:51
seems like they grow 5 mil per
26:53
denomination. Every time you double
26:55
it. You would get there pretty
26:57
quickly. Well perhaps, Andrew, when
26:59
you're out this weekend, you could let us all know what
27:03
a million feels like as you take them
27:05
out to the ATM. Alright,
27:09
so we've got a bunch of the notes.
27:12
It's going to be pretty simple here Josh. We'll blind
27:14
you. We'll blindfolds you. Wow,
27:17
wow. I remember how
27:19
bad you were before. I've been no cheating.
27:22
So we're going to throw some acid in your eyeballs. We've
27:25
got a little bit of coffee here to neutralize the scent. But
27:28
I will be using hot pokers unfortunately. We've
27:30
turned off the smoke alarm because I think there's going
27:33
to be a little bit of smoke. Yeah, when
27:35
he's eyeballs, yes, are removed. Okay,
27:37
now we'll run the honor system, but we will run
27:39
the blindfold on you. At
27:41
the end, we'll grant you your vision back. I've
27:44
been already emailing in. They
27:48
were very particular about this one. They
27:50
were saying don't let him hold him. Now we realize
27:52
now of course they are different in size. So
27:55
Hamish will be holding it. I'd be impressed at that,
27:57
but I will still hold it. Hamish will hold the stacks
27:59
up to you.
27:59
hours.
28:01
I mean, if he turned to one, it's just
28:03
how you're going to run it. Is it just basically just going to say,
28:05
I'm going to go here, stack one, here, stack
28:07
two, here, stack three, four, five. And you
28:10
just could tell us which stack was the 20. So if
28:12
he arrived at the 20, can he just go that's it?
28:14
That's all. Let's just say I happen to hold it up as stack
28:16
one, which I may or may not do. You feel
28:19
confident before all the stacks have been done. You just
28:21
yell, that's the 20. You might want to wait till the end.
28:23
I'll let you choose how you prefer to play. When
28:26
you were at the bank on your lunch break, how did you do it? Hey,
28:29
something's going on. Well,
28:31
not your money. I'm just throwing this in here, but as
28:34
an exciting thing for the listeners, should
28:36
you do a prerecorded, tell us what stack
28:39
it is right now so everyone knows what
28:41
Josh is going for? Yeah, I'll do that. That
28:44
is exciting. And then we can see
28:46
if he can pull it off. Hamish is doing that now.
28:49
So those playing along at home,
28:51
which I hope is every $20 in stack number four.
28:57
Good luck, Josh.
28:59
OK, would you like to get the Peter
29:01
Alexander top of the line? Very
29:03
must be nice blindfold. Wow.
29:06
And Hamish, you said that you were going to take control of
29:08
the opener for Josh for this time. Oh,
29:10
sorry, Josh. You can remain blindfolded while
29:13
we play the musical sting to introduce the
29:15
game. Now, usually it's all
29:17
about the person. But
29:20
I've actually made mine about Andy's terrible performance
29:22
the other week. Jack and I have put this
29:24
together ourselves. Josh, you do get a mention
29:26
too, but just a heads up to you, Andy. Mostly
29:29
it's about you. Sniff it. Ma,
29:31
mama mama. Mama mama mama mama. Mama mama
29:34
mama. Mama mama. Mama mama.
29:36
Mama mama. Mama mama. Mama
29:39
mama. Mama mama. Mama mama. Mama
29:41
mama. Mama mama mama. Mama mama mama.
29:44
Mama mama mama. called
30:00
Bad Sniffer. They would be very confused.
30:03
Okay, those guys. Okay, don't
30:05
be the Bad Sniffer. I'm gonna hold up now,
30:08
stack number one. Here
30:10
we go. Have
30:12
a good sniff. It's really in there.
30:15
Really in there? Mm-hmm. Okay.
30:19
Would you like coffee between the sniffs to cleanse
30:21
the nose? No, no, I would just go
30:23
straight up. They would have done that, I think. Stack number
30:26
two. Yes.
30:30
No.
30:31
Stack number
30:34
three. Mm.
30:38
You're from Tempo, okay? Okay.
30:42
Stack number four.
30:47
This is interesting.
30:48
Take
30:51
a quick look.
30:52
Stack number five.
30:58
No.
30:59
Okay. We are
31:01
out of stack. Can
31:04
we set a couple of them? You said okay, you didn't dismiss
31:06
them. So what would you like to do, Josh? You can take
31:09
your time. Can we go for a round two
31:11
and go one and three?
31:13
Yeah.
31:15
Do you know what order you picked about? No,
31:19
ruin my flow. Stack number
31:21
one.
31:25
Lean in towards one.
31:27
Stack number three. Mm.
31:33
All right, yep, okay.
31:35
Any other stacks you'd like to reference?
31:38
Uh...
31:39
Oh.
31:41
Now you've made me doubt myself. No, no, stick with your
31:43
gun. If you wanted to run through them again, I mean, it's
31:45
a one... You've gone on
31:47
a train down from the Central Coast. We've
31:50
spent a lot of time on this. It doesn't have to be rushed. Normally,
31:52
I am trying to wrap things up. Well,
31:55
let's go backwards and just test the order. So
31:58
five down to one. Five down. one. Okay
32:01
five now. Yeah five. Back number
32:03
five.
32:07
I think so. Doesn't think so. Back number
32:09
four. Back
32:14
number three.
32:19
Back
32:22
number two. I
32:26
don't think so. And stack number one.
32:30
All right. I'm
32:33
as certain as I can be. Okay Josh. So
32:35
drum roll or do we? Yeah yeah good. Well done.
32:38
This isn't a producer Josh. Um
32:40
drum roll you may remove
32:43
the blindfold because there's nothing on the table that wasn't
32:45
there before. Which
32:48
stack do you think it was? I think
32:50
it was the stack of 20s. He's
32:53
good and what number was that?
32:55
Uh I'm gonna say number three.
32:59
That
32:59
was the 10.
33:05
Not
33:10
quite the impressiveness. Uh it
33:12
was actually stack number four. Oh I
33:14
just missed it. You just missed it both
33:16
times very quickly. You are the bad
33:18
sniffer. But I'm just going. You
33:20
accidentally became the bad sniffer. Just
33:23
like Andy Lee. Yes. Um when
33:26
did you leave the bank? Uh
33:28
just before the GFC so. Oh they
33:31
just laid it. Oh yeah. Oh so you
33:33
know you know that it's been
33:35
out of practice. Yeah.
33:38
Do you think you can do it? Do you want to sniff them again now? Sniff
33:41
the 20s now. Don't
33:44
count them. What are you Josh? Just
33:46
taking the old ones there. The new ones. Oh you don't like the
33:48
new ones do you? Yeah. Yeah
33:50
see they've got a
33:54
definite match head smell. No no no you
33:56
just make it up. You'll make it up. Well. Because
34:00
there was some new 20s in there, you reckon
34:03
that threw you off? No, there's no loophole
34:05
in there. I'm willing to go with that.
34:08
Josh, get out. There was
34:10
more than half new ones. No, Josh,
34:13
take a token of no value. It's pretty imperceptible.
34:16
This has been a long, long run up to
34:18
extreme disappointment. Yeah,
34:21
we realise now we're putting a lot of eggs in this basket.
34:24
It's too much. The
34:26
finale, you couldn't sniff it, you couldn't sniff it, Josh. Yeah,
34:28
and if someone writes from going, I can do it, you're not getting
34:30
a go. Mate, yeah,
34:32
I tell you what, if anyone else is
34:34
writing with this skill, for
34:37
us to go back into this arena
34:39
and risk the disappointment again of letting
34:41
people down, they've got to provide the money and
34:43
we keep it if they can't do it. That's
34:46
got to be the condition. Josh, thank you
34:48
for covering it, buddy. Just token of no value, $5
34:50
for your time. Thank you so much, very much,
34:53
guys.
34:58
An exciting email came in at HamishDandy.com. We get
35:00
many exciting emails. We
35:02
bloody love them. This show is
35:05
only good because of the correspondence we get, so
35:07
thank you for going to HamishDandy.com. But it's
35:09
with regards to Chit Chat Champions.
35:11
Oh, great, we haven't played for a while. In fact, we should
35:13
play today. Let's do
35:15
it. Chit me with your best chat,
35:18
matter of way, Chit Chat
35:20
Champions.
35:23
It came in from Amelia. She says, G'day
35:25
Hamish, or Ahoy Hamish Dandy, number six. My
35:28
name is Millie, and I'd like to nominate myself
35:30
and my dad to Chit Chat
35:32
Champion. Don't think we've ever had
35:35
family members face off. They said
35:37
they're both champions. She said we're both champions of idle
35:39
Chit Chat. We believe we could
35:41
be the best you've ever had. However, we
35:43
don't know who is better between the two of us. They join us
35:45
now. Millie, ahoy to you. Ahoy.
35:49
What makes you good at Chit Chat? I mean,
35:51
is it a line of work, or has it been passed
35:53
down from father to daughter? Originally,
35:55
it was passed down from my dad.
35:58
I listen to him chat all day, non-stop.
36:36
That
38:00
was Ross's dad. Ross's dad hit him for
38:02
sixes again. Look at him. It was under
38:05
12's father-son. My dad was doing the correct
38:07
thing you do where he'd hit up catches and hope that
38:09
you go out. You had to retire
38:11
at 30. Ross's dad hit him...
38:17
for four sixes. Yep. Then
38:19
he'd a four. And
38:22
then hit him for six. So he got the maximum.
38:25
He'd get the maximum. And
38:29
then walked off and said, that's how you do it. So,
38:33
that's the kind of... And that's why Ross never
38:35
got the cat. Sean,
38:38
I want that type. Definitely. Yeah, ruthlessness.
38:41
And we play this. We'll let Millie go first. We'll put
38:43
Sean on hold. Millie, you'll
38:45
hear the start of a conversation. Of course, you'll be judged
38:47
on when you jump in, whether it's smooth,
38:50
but and you can never ask a question in
38:52
your answer. You ready to go?
38:53
Brilliant. Yes. Let's go. Good luck.
38:56
Hey, Em. Okay,
38:58
mate. I was reading an article during the rate that
39:00
it can get from Melbourne to London in
39:03
just two hours of travel in the future. I
39:05
suppose, point the cup into space and come back down.
39:08
That's actually interesting, because I'm off to
39:10
London at the end of this year. I'm over there visiting
39:12
family and friends. However,
39:15
I'm going to Ireland as well. And I really,
39:17
really, really don't know what to wear, because it's cold. I'm
39:19
on a farm. What? Stony
39:22
gun boots, stony jacket?
39:24
Yeah.
39:26
Yeah. I
39:29
mean, she came in well. I
39:32
certainly, the party would go, wow,
39:34
that's a lot of information and personal
39:37
information. The fun part there
39:39
is you obviously came with a game plan to go, I don't
39:41
want to say nothing. Yes. And I think
39:44
you safely achieved that. You
39:46
absolutely, you didn't, there was no freezing
39:48
there at all. Like you weren't, you'd left no one wanting
39:50
more. Yeah. And that is, that's
39:53
definitely a great strategy to go for,
39:55
for chit chat jamming. And it will secure, it could
39:57
secure a win against a flame
39:59
out. This is for my cat Clementine. Yeah,
40:02
okay. Okay, we don't try and make an emotional
40:04
about the cat. Don't count your cat before they're picked
40:06
up from the shelter just yet. I would say,
40:09
again in a social situation, we might go,
40:11
that's nice, we're talking about the
40:13
future of air travel, we might get back to that
40:16
when leave you to what gun boot you might
40:18
wear in Ireland.
40:22
But good luck, she's registered a score, which is
40:24
good. We'll put her on hold. Sean,
40:27
are you there? I am. Milly's
40:29
done okay. Here we go. Don't
40:31
tell me that. Okay, good luck. I
40:37
read an article that we might be able to get from
40:39
Melbourne to London in just two hours
40:42
of travel. Yeah, those planes are going to space
40:44
and come back down.
40:45
Look, Andy, now if the Commonwealth game's gone,
40:48
I think we've got to be able to get over there, get the game
40:50
happening and play over there. Because I
40:52
tell you, we are about to fly overseas
40:55
and it is such a painful
40:57
flight. Being next to someone who you
40:59
don't know and being seen as someone who you do know is
41:01
even worse. It's just not worth it.
41:04
Wow, that's a lot. Like
41:07
Jordan, Lightfather. Did
41:11
you come in with a plan to work the Commonwealth
41:13
game, no matter what or London, we've
41:15
got it.
41:21
No, it didn't work. Sure,
41:23
I mean, wow. Ring-ring-ring Milly back.
41:26
It's one of those ones where we had a huge volume and you'll be able
41:28
to hear these back when
41:32
you listen to the podcast. Volume,
41:34
like as in quantity, there was certainly
41:36
a lot of words out there. Now it's
41:39
always dangerous, Andy, to go back to the under 12
41:41
cricket analogy, what do you get taught when you're
41:44
a junior playing cricket? Don't think about what shot
41:46
you want to play. Don't
41:48
come out going, I'm going to mention the Commonwealth games
41:50
because the ball might not be there. And
41:53
you can get out that way. But
41:56
is there a cat there or not? Sean,
41:59
I think... You owe
42:01
Millie a cat, I think it's mine. And
42:05
I don't think you disagree when you hear it back.
42:09
I think Melvin lost the game and you guys
42:11
gained a cat. Wait till he hears it before
42:13
you get one. I didn't vote for Dan
42:15
Rule. In fact, I'm going to give the
42:17
win to me. Thank
42:21
you guys for playing, really appreciate it. Good luck
42:23
with that cat, Millie.
42:25
Thanks
42:28
for listening. The Hamish Nandy has
42:30
been returned next week. A powerful
42:32
contribute at Hamish and Nandy's
42:34
office.
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