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episode of Harry Potter in the sacred text is
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29. Careers Advice. But
2:30
why haven't you got oculomancy lessons
2:32
anymore? said Hermione, frowning. I've
2:34
told you, Harry muttered. Snape reckons I can carry
2:36
on by myself. Now I've got the basics. So
2:39
you stopped having funny dreams? said Hermione
2:42
skeptically. Pretty much, said Harry, not
2:44
looking at her. I'm
2:46
Matt Potts. And I'm Vanessa Zoltan.
2:48
And this is Harry Potter and the Sacred Text.
2:53
Matt, we are lucky enough to be
2:55
joined today by a special guest, Delphine
2:57
Mooney, who is the executive director of
2:59
On the Rise. We are
3:01
partnering again this year with On the Rise,
3:03
which is an amazing daytime shelter, the works
3:05
with people who are experiencing homelessness. And
3:08
Delphine, can you just remind our listeners what
3:10
the work of On the Rise is, please?
3:13
Yeah, thank you again for inviting
3:15
me back. You know, I'm just in the
3:17
seat as ED for over two
3:20
years now. And I've served in
3:22
a lot of different capacities, but I've seen
3:24
this community change and grow in so many
3:26
ways over the years. And I feel really
3:28
grateful to be a part of
3:30
it and to talk about it. So On the
3:33
Rise emerged as the
3:35
result of feedback from unhoused
3:37
women who shared that
3:39
their needs were not being met by
3:41
programs that existed to assist them. And
3:44
recognizing these gaps, we adopted
3:46
a unique, low threshold relational
3:48
approach to addressing
3:50
homelessness that provides immediate
3:52
necessities like food and
3:54
showers every day, but
3:56
also Works to
3:59
build the founding. Some people
4:01
need to address more complex
4:03
and long term issues and
4:05
so since our founding we've
4:07
expanded our service population to
4:09
include gender diverse individuals moving
4:12
through and beyond homelessness by.
4:14
Really what sets us apart is
4:16
are enduring. Commitment to
4:18
supporting. Folks, even after they've
4:20
secured housing and thought long
4:23
term commitment is so special
4:25
because it's really the relationship
4:27
that creates a sense of
4:29
security for folks are dealing
4:31
with complex issues and those
4:33
issues. Range anywhere from
4:36
Killeen trauma stemming from
4:38
abuse, reconnecting with lost
4:40
family or address the
4:43
and mental and physical
4:45
health needs and the.
4:48
Relationships or what can access you know they
4:50
allow. Us to respect. Differences.
4:53
And discover common ground.
4:55
And build community and we
4:58
consider them transform minutes. So
5:00
what that means is they're
5:02
genuine, their mutual there's face
5:04
and and during and so
5:07
building trusting relationships better nurtured.
5:09
Over time as really central to the work of
5:11
On arise. Rudolf an honor as
5:13
as such an immersion program after last year's
5:15
computers Were campaign. When this podcast supported on
5:18
Arise I got our first involved in supporting
5:20
On the Rise and so now we provide
5:22
meals regularly just like Venus and her family
5:24
does. An enemy of our listeners who are
5:26
in the Boss Mckim is area of you
5:28
wanna get directly involved and build some his
5:31
relationships please. You look into it but there's
5:33
a program coming up you have called empty
5:35
Bowls. Could you tell us more about what
5:37
empty Bosses. Yeah. We are
5:39
celebrating the eleventh annual and
5:41
people. Projects Arm and this
5:44
is not an original. Idea of
5:46
ours. I think it originated in the
5:48
South, but on March twenty third and
5:50
twenty fourth we have a two day
5:53
event this year Local Potter's. Has
5:55
generously donated their beautiful
5:57
works of art and
5:59
and leave oh have
6:01
a collection of fantastic
6:03
community minded. Restaurants you
6:06
don't eat delicious soup. And
6:08
you buy a ticket, you are
6:10
entitled to select the bowl of
6:13
your dreams and explicit masterpiece and.
6:15
Also receives. A
6:17
helping of delicious soup that
6:20
ranges from here has gotta
6:22
be an option. Secretary nonsense.
6:24
Gluten free and. It's really
6:26
just a beautiful kind of gathering.
6:28
Of the community and kind of a
6:31
showing of the artistic talent and. Calling
6:33
and comments of locals The Sport on race.
6:36
Or the scene. I know that you
6:38
mention that one on as powerful parts
6:40
of your work is the community effect
6:42
on the Rise films and so we
6:44
invited you to tell a story on
6:46
that beams. I was wondering if you
6:48
could tell us your story yeah you
6:50
know I think part of the ground
6:52
he and for us in. The space
6:55
that would work is really
6:57
at. It may seem that
6:59
homelessness is incredibly isolating and
7:01
so on top of you
7:03
know, likely been disconnected from
7:05
family and friends. We live
7:07
in a world that is
7:09
often ready to ascribe undesirable
7:12
circumstances to someone personality or
7:14
character, when in fact, They.
7:16
Often have fallen victim to something
7:18
or someone and we're not caught
7:21
by the social safety nets already
7:23
in place and. We. Tend
7:25
to separate ourselves from those living
7:27
through those are take the circumstances.
7:30
Because we want to tell. Ourselves said
7:32
it couldn't happen to us,
7:34
and that type of ostracize
7:36
a sin and stigmatisation really
7:38
is what deprives. And already
7:40
very vulnerable population. Of.
7:43
A. Central component of health, which is
7:45
human connection. You know we all
7:48
need it. We all need community,
7:50
especially at those times when things
7:52
are really tough. It is the
7:55
difference between stabilizing you realize or
7:57
your situation and your life potentially
7:59
going. Who had health than
8:01
so? We believe in providing a
8:04
safe and enduring community. And
8:06
staffer really on the frontlines of
8:08
combat? Be in that type of
8:10
loneliness and one of the ways
8:12
that we do that beyond kind
8:14
of the social connectedness that is
8:17
a component of what our organization
8:19
fosters on a daily basis, as
8:21
we have a number of. Community
8:23
events sprinkled throughout the year
8:26
that are meant to foster
8:28
relationships. And Build Community and one
8:30
of those events if you haven't
8:32
been to On the Rise were
8:35
located in a big Victorian house
8:37
rate in. The heart of Cambridge,
8:39
Massachusetts. And in our outdoor space
8:42
we have a memorial garden which
8:44
has stones engraved of the names
8:46
of people in our community both
8:49
house and unhealthy to have passed
8:51
away over our. Twenty seven
8:53
year history and it's
8:55
you know, as. As.
8:58
Reflects teams I was thinking back. To
9:00
the events. In Twenty Twenty
9:03
Two. So each year we. The
9:05
community gathers and we share.
9:07
Stories about the people who passed away.
9:10
In that year we are
9:12
able. To invite the celebrate who comes.
9:14
To corporate some kind of spiritual.
9:17
Elements of the ceremony and it's very
9:19
peaceful and. It offers a space
9:21
for purchase since degrees in
9:23
community. This ceremony
9:25
historically was born out of
9:28
participants concerns about been forgotten
9:30
once they've passed away and
9:32
in Twenty twenty two, we
9:35
hadn't had the chance to
9:37
gather for. Almost. Two
9:39
years at that point. Three years
9:41
since the Pandemics rocks and.
9:45
You know, tragic, an unexpected death
9:47
is very familiar to our community
9:49
and which makes it even more
9:51
important for us to gather and
9:53
remember those who have passed away.
9:55
And this is particularly true. During
9:57
cove it because we just lost so many.
10:00
people during the course of those couple of
10:02
years. And so there were
10:04
so many people who reached
10:06
out to us to ensure
10:09
that someone they knew within On
10:11
the Rises community was remembered
10:14
at this event. And it was really
10:16
the first time that we had seen
10:18
a lot of folks since the pandemic
10:20
had struck. And many
10:23
people expressed to us that day
10:26
that they were so grateful to know
10:29
that the event was
10:31
able to come back into being because
10:33
it was so important to them to be remembered,
10:36
but also to be able to have
10:38
a place to gather together.
10:40
And it's a very
10:42
peaceful and beautiful
10:44
space that we have
10:47
physically to remember folks. But
10:50
2022 was a little different in that because
10:52
there were so many folks to remember, we
10:54
had to amend the ceremony slightly.
10:56
And so we recognized
10:59
everyone's name with a chime
11:01
and were able to kind of
11:03
collectively symbolize the group by doing
11:05
a butterfly release. But
11:07
it really struck me how many folks came
11:09
up to us to really
11:12
appreciate the time to get together and to
11:14
remember people and how important it was to
11:16
them in their lives to know that they
11:18
would be remembered by On the Rise in
11:20
this way. We really want to
11:23
be a community for folks and especially
11:27
the population we work with who
11:29
express being invisible and
11:31
forgotten on a regular basis in
11:33
their daily lives. Being
11:36
able to ensure that they are
11:38
getting that is a big piece
11:41
for us and really affirms our community.
11:43
And part
11:46
of what I love about that Delphine is
11:48
that people who have
11:50
passed away can still be part of
11:53
our community. We need community
11:55
Who is with us on this earth at the
11:58
same time? But also, that doesn't mean. That
12:00
people have impacted us. The past
12:02
or it's still part of our community.
12:04
It's. Then I just love that your shirt
12:06
on our people in that way. Yeah.
12:09
Is so true. It also. You.
12:11
Know as the way to combat loneliness
12:14
That on. This Earth people are
12:16
feeling and yeah, even though right.
12:18
I think they us Surgeon
12:20
General the that Murthy describes
12:23
loneliness is an epidemic that's
12:25
on par with tobacco use
12:27
and it's not difficult to
12:29
imagine how loneliness impacts someone,
12:31
depression or anxiety. And there's
12:34
something that he said that really
12:36
struck me about loneliness and. How
12:38
it resonates for me with the work that on
12:41
the rise. Does is he talks
12:43
about it being like hunger and
12:45
thirst and saying that it's like
12:47
a natural signal that our bodies
12:50
senses former. Lockean something the need
12:52
for survival. And in this case
12:54
it's social connection and so you know
12:56
people are feeling that in life but
12:58
also they are feeling that in and
13:00
of remember a in and wanting to
13:03
bring those who passed away into the
13:05
fold. Since. It It's really
13:07
about social connection. Was
13:09
often one of the things I'm sure wanna talk about in
13:11
the absurd when we reflect upon the meeting a community as
13:14
a sort of. Like. How
13:16
are people bound together and community? Were bicycle
13:18
together and the thing of so special about
13:20
your story amount on the roster so well
13:22
as a sick of our memories shared memory
13:24
as a way to buy my mother not
13:27
just shared memory of a common pass but
13:29
also that we remember each other rights and
13:31
also to start minutes is behind. So much
13:33
of a work for farmers does. From the
13:35
outset you're also remembering the people whom many
13:37
we as a larger society too easily forget.
13:40
You're. Interested and engaged in the
13:42
work of memory of trying to combat loneliness
13:44
not just at the end of life bug
13:46
in the midst of life and and draw
13:48
people into your community. So thank you so
13:50
much for that their work and thank you
13:52
for allowing us to partner with new to
13:54
support network. Oh. St
13:57
use of ads for inviting me to talk
13:59
a little. that. What we tail end for
14:01
highlighting the work that we do. We're thrilled
14:03
to be able to be out there and
14:05
have a chance to have more people learn
14:07
about what we do and who we are.
14:10
And if anybody wants to join me
14:12
I will be going test that and
14:14
people sitting on Saturday March twenty third
14:16
at One thirty. So. If you
14:18
want to sign up going to than
14:20
the show nazis and also just gotta
14:22
on the rise.org even go to the
14:24
seatings when I'm not there are also
14:26
but and be my son of Beauty
14:28
Madison. Wow. Matt It is always
14:31
such a pleasure to talk to doubt seen, but
14:33
it is also always such a pleasure to. Watch
14:35
you stress about the thirty second
14:37
rate on her carbon stress in
14:39
about. Three. Quarters Of A Book.
14:42
I think. Why? Hope
14:45
set Me telling you I enjoy it will encourage
14:47
you to. Staff. Are now under stress Nine
14:49
or your current president. Think.
14:52
You okay? On your Mac
14:54
get set Go so are Mine is what you're not,
14:56
you're in a coma for to mourn her is like
14:58
normally do what you like really and whatever and then
15:00
ago and it's bigot. he shrugs and these drugs and
15:02
says digits I want to talk to serious in there
15:05
can be arranged to discuss a man Vagos did see
15:07
some very nice Mm across counseling and encourage counseling are
15:09
Mcgonigle and numbers are your he come in or he
15:11
caribbean or and they're shouting when Harry Reason is a
15:13
big assumption that swap everywhere and he goes the off
15:16
the top of the recent loop it and they say
15:18
we were jerks and he's like did you find a
15:20
worse and he goes back to where I'm from Georgia
15:22
and. They. Fly out of the ceiling and say give him
15:24
go or how. Peeves.
15:28
That. Was really good folks getting so good
15:30
at. That, but I was more system. Since.
15:33
You call attention to their. You did
15:35
a good job anywhere my stats ask
15:37
me see So happy. Okay Vanessa, let
15:39
me catch your and three. Two.
15:42
One go. So. how many
15:44
kids accused of a nagging because he is worried
15:46
about harry and the fact that he has just
15:48
given up on setting off limits the inserts needs
15:50
false but also khomeini as right and they all
15:52
have to go in there thinking and about the
15:55
different careers as they can have and some taxes
15:57
and ten a fan but harry is like i
15:59
I only want to be in order and McGonagall's
16:01
like, if it's the last thing I do, I
16:04
will make sure that you can. But Ginny is
16:06
like, same about that, but about talking as serious
16:08
and Fred and George help and they do a
16:10
swamp and then they say, give them help, peeves.
16:14
I got peeves in, you didn't get the word
16:16
peeves in. That's right, I
16:19
just missed the word peeves. I
16:21
think you were able to do so because
16:23
you very, with an impressive amount of brevity,
16:26
created the phrase, do a swamp. Here's
16:29
the thing. It
16:32
totally makes sense. I know, it's
16:34
the soul of wit. You got the
16:37
idea across perfectly. And
16:39
in seven fewer seconds than it took me to say the
16:41
same thing. So Vanessa, we're going to
16:43
explore the theme of community in
16:46
this chapter and I thought we might start
16:48
by a short visit to Etymology Corner.
16:51
My favorite corner. So
16:53
community comes from the word common, right?
16:55
It's just like a collective noun variation
16:58
of the word common. And
17:00
common comes from a Proto-Indo-European root.
17:03
The co means together, like that's familiar to
17:05
us, right? Co, you co-write something,
17:07
co-author something, you write it together, right? And
17:09
then the second part of the word that
17:11
starts with an M, they think the original
17:13
word was may and that meant
17:16
to go or to move. So the deepest,
17:18
deepest root of this word actually
17:20
means like to move together, like
17:22
to operate together. Right at the beginning of
17:24
the chapter, Hermione comes to Ron and Harry
17:26
and says, okay, exams are coming up. Here's
17:29
what we Americans would call our study
17:31
schedule. Right? It's
17:33
a timetable for revision, right?
17:35
And it's all plotted out and they are going
17:37
to do it together. Like she knows that Harry
17:40
and Ron would not have been as disciplined as
17:43
she would be and would not have done this.
17:45
So she gives it to them so they can
17:47
move together and move successfully through this difficult time
17:49
with one another. And to me, that sounds
17:51
like moving together. That's an example of community.
17:53
Where it gets more complicated between the three
17:55
of these characters is later on in
17:58
the chapter, which is... In
18:01
this chapter, as our 30-second recaps
18:03
so clearly described, Harry
18:05
is looking for a diversion so he can
18:07
contact Sirius through the Flu Network. That
18:10
diversion arises when Fred and George create
18:12
a swamp and draw Umbridge and the
18:14
Inquisitorial Squad and all the concerned
18:18
authorities to that site so that Harry
18:20
can get into Umbridge's office to the
18:23
one unsupervised fireplace and
18:26
use the Flu Network to communicate with
18:29
Sirius. But it's a very risky thing, obviously.
18:32
And here a disagreement arises between
18:34
the three. Harry is not sure what
18:36
to do. Ron seems
18:38
kind of reflective and finally says, you know,
18:41
Harry has to decide. I can't decide for
18:43
him. And
18:45
Hermione also acknowledges that Harry has to decide,
18:47
but she is way in on the side
18:49
of deciding not to do this. It's too
18:52
risky, right? So these
18:54
three are not moving together, but I think
18:56
everyone's thinking about community also,
18:58
right? Hermione is thinking
19:00
this is too risky to the
19:03
movement, to Dumbledore's army, to the
19:05
Order of Phoenix, to everyone who
19:07
wants to resist Umbridge. We
19:10
need you in school here. That's what Dumbledore said.
19:12
This is too risky for the sake of the
19:14
community. We need to decide that you will not
19:16
do this. And
19:18
I think, you know, there's one interpretation which you could
19:20
say Ron is not thinking about the community. He's
19:23
thinking about just whatever this
19:25
individual wants. Like Harry has to make
19:27
a decision. He's an individual, so the decision is up to
19:29
him. But I
19:31
also think that he's understanding that, like, part of
19:33
what's at stake in what they
19:36
are doing is supporting Harry, right?
19:38
That's part of what the community's interest is in supporting
19:40
Harry as he goes through this time. And he just
19:42
thinks that he has to grant this autonomy to
19:45
Harry. Harry has to
19:47
decide whether it's worth it or not. They can't
19:49
make that decision for him. And so he wants
19:51
to move together with Harry. That's
19:53
what Harry wants to do, right? Yeah,
19:56
so I don't know if I have a question to
19:58
follow on that summary of what happened. or
20:00
what I think is going on, but I mean, like,
20:04
who's side are you on? Ron or Hermione? Well,
20:08
thank you for asking. It just
20:10
depends on how you're defining what their
20:12
goal is, right? If
20:15
their goal is to
20:17
like make sure that Harry is
20:20
safe, then I
20:22
could see that Hermione and Ron are
20:24
actually both in community. They just have
20:26
different ideas of what safety means. And
20:29
Ron thinks like Harry's emotional and
20:31
mental well-being is part of his
20:33
safety, whereas Hermione probably doesn't disagree
20:35
with that, but is like, well,
20:37
his physical safety and like not
20:39
being expelled is more important. So
20:42
I do think that they're still in community.
20:44
I really love this idea of community as
20:46
being moving with, and I know that you
20:49
agree with what I'm about to say, but
20:51
I think that there can be
20:53
disagreements within a community as to
20:56
how to best try to achieve
20:58
the goal or how to best
21:00
live up to the community standard
21:02
that you have. And Ron and
21:05
Hermione just have like a difference of
21:07
opinion on the specifics here, but they're
21:09
both being caring toward
21:12
Harry. Yeah. I
21:14
mean, I think what's most telling about that is that Hermione
21:17
is making this case as
21:19
she walks alongside Harry, right?
21:22
Like literally as she moves with him from class
21:24
to class, she is making
21:27
this case. And there is never a sense or
21:29
a threat that if he decides something different than
21:31
what she recommends, that she will
21:33
abandon him, right? And so like this, it's
21:35
not conditional. That's right. They are still moving
21:37
together. She's just trying to articulate what she
21:40
thinks they as a whole need to do
21:42
together, right? Yeah,
21:44
I do love just the side note.
21:46
This has nothing to do with community,
21:48
but the boys eventually start giving Hermione
21:50
the silent treatment. And she's like, the
21:52
silent treatment? Great. I have more airtime
21:54
to keep making my point. And
21:57
I'm just like, that is an opportunist if I've ever
21:59
met one. Hermione. It's brilliant. I
22:02
think it also makes sense, Matt,
22:05
that Ron is able to stand
22:09
in communal discordance with Hermione
22:11
and Harry with so much
22:14
confidence because
22:16
he grew up in a family that minus
22:18
Percy will put a big asterisk on Percy
22:20
and deal with him another time. But
22:23
other than that, this is clearly a
22:25
family that is committed to unconditional love
22:27
and yet they are going
22:29
about their life goals and the
22:31
way that they walk through the world very
22:34
differently, right? Molly would want each of her
22:36
kids to graduate from Hogwarts to get any
22:38
WT's in as many classes as possible. And
22:40
Fred and George are very much going their
22:43
own way, but it's not, you
22:45
know, if we're using your etymology and sort of
22:47
thinking of it as a
22:49
flying V of geese,
22:52
like it's not, they're
22:55
not flying in a different direction,
22:57
right? They're just like flapping their
22:59
wings differently. And so it
23:01
makes sense to me that Ron is like,
23:04
look, the three of us don't actually have
23:06
to agree. Like we don't need to form
23:08
consensus on this. Harry can do what's best
23:10
for him. You, Hermione, can disagree. I can
23:13
like be on the fence about it and we're all okay.
23:15
And we're all still part of the same V. Yeah,
23:18
that's right. And I think the other thing that's really so
23:20
like endearing and lovely about
23:23
the Weasley's is how like
23:25
their actions, even in disagreement,
23:27
tend to generate
23:29
stronger bonds and make one another
23:31
more courageous. So in the
23:33
beginning of the chapter, Harry is in the
23:36
library with Ginny and they get a package
23:38
from Molly Weasley and it's full of Easter
23:40
eggs. And one of the Easter eggs is
23:42
for Harry because as is so often the
23:44
case, Harry is folded into the Weasley family
23:46
when it comes to these sort of acts of
23:48
kindness and support. And this act-
23:50
He's like a duck that's a part of
23:53
their goose V. That's right. And this
23:55
egg moves Harry, this act
23:57
of kindness moves
23:59
Harry. and is what gives him kind of
24:01
the strength to articulate what he actually wants to
24:04
Ginny, this thing he thinks is impossible, which is that
24:06
he wants to speak to Sirius. One
24:09
act of kindness kind of gives him the energy
24:11
or the courage to articulate what he needs to
24:13
say, and Ginny says, well, maybe we can do
24:16
that, because one thing I've learned from Fred
24:18
and George is that nothing is impossible if you're willing
24:20
to be bold enough. And
24:23
then Fred and George show up and they tell
24:25
him, and he just kind of unfolds and unfolds
24:27
and unfolds, and then we have this situation where
24:29
Harry ends up talking to Sirius, and Fred and
24:31
George, as I'm sure we will talk about, have
24:33
their kind of climactic exit from Hogwarts
24:36
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But
24:38
what's so interesting is I think with Fred
24:40
and George also, they
24:43
feed off one another's courage. They can do this
24:45
together. Neither of them is making this escape on
24:48
their own or causing this diversion on
24:50
their own. They have one another to
24:52
lean on, just as Ginny has them to lean
24:54
on, just as Harry has Ginny to lean on,
24:56
just as Molly sends an egg that
24:58
inspires Harry to be willing to make himself vulnerable and
25:01
to ask for what he wants from
25:03
these folks. So there is a
25:05
sense of these folks working together or moving
25:07
together in that ancient sense of the word
25:10
community, even though everyone's doing a different thing.
25:12
Like Ginny's just listening. Molly
25:14
sends an Easter egg. Fred and George
25:17
create a swamp in the middle of the school, but
25:19
all of them are just figuring out a
25:21
way to support Harry as he makes his
25:23
way through this incredibly trying situation. I
25:27
know I talk about this a lot, but my favorite
25:29
sentence in the whole series is their
25:31
presence was his courage. And
25:33
it's about in book seven when Lupin, Sirius,
25:35
James and Lily show up for Harry, but
25:37
I think that we see it again and
25:39
again throughout the series. I
25:41
am really fascinated about it in the twins
25:44
in particular, but this scene is so interesting
25:46
because it's a bit, like they're doing a
25:48
comedy bit, but the way that they are
25:50
doing their bit is in constantly checking in
25:53
with one another. What do you think George?
25:55
Is it time for us to get out of
25:57
here? I don't know Fred, what do you think? Right,
25:59
like they are. literally doing a call and response
26:02
to one another. And I really do
26:04
believe, like these are two brilliant, hardworking,
26:08
mischievous, warm-hearted kids, and neither
26:10
of them would be half the person they
26:12
are without the other one, right? Like they
26:14
together really are greater than the sum of
26:17
their parts because like
26:19
they always have the presence of someone
26:21
who can be their courage, right? Like
26:23
if there is a second that either
26:25
of them falters to somebody there to
26:27
keep them on point. And I love
26:29
that like that confidence, you know, leads
26:31
to Jimmy. And I just also love
26:33
that like the kindness
26:36
of community, sometimes
26:38
it'll fall on deaf ears, sometimes it'll be,
26:40
you know, Ron, not
26:42
liking the sweater, whatever it is, but
26:45
like sometimes it'll be like just the thing that
26:47
can give you the courage to keep
26:50
going. Yeah, and in that sense, like
26:52
what goes on in this chapter is almost
26:54
like a foreshadowing of the way that this
26:56
group of children will win the battle of
26:59
Hogwarts with support of some adults, right? Which
27:01
is that everyone ends up standing up
27:03
for each other, being courageous for
27:05
each other, not just standing up
27:07
by themselves. I mean, individuals do undertake singular
27:09
and single acts of courage. Like we'll see
27:11
Molly do that, we'll see Neville
27:14
do this. But like the reason it
27:16
works at the battle of Hogwarts is because they
27:18
are all standing up for each other, which is
27:20
this idea of community, right? They draw their courage
27:22
from one another's courage. I think one of
27:25
the things, Matt, that I love about thinking
27:27
about the Weasley's community is
27:29
that they're all close to
27:31
each other in different ways, right? Like
27:34
you don't get the sense that
27:36
like Ginny and Charlie are close,
27:39
but it, right? Like it doesn't
27:41
matter, right? Like I think that
27:43
Ginny would do just as much
27:45
for Charlie as she would for
27:47
Fred and George, who she's obviously
27:49
closer to, right? Like there's something
27:51
about community that makes it more
27:53
than just about individual relationships or
27:55
individual preferences, right? It's like, we're
27:57
part of the same thing and that matters. like,
28:01
you know, I can be mad at you, but
28:03
like, that doesn't matter. We're part of the same
28:06
community and therefore we've got each
28:08
other's backs. Which is why I
28:10
find Draco really interesting in this
28:12
chapter, Matt. Draco is such a
28:14
jerk in this chapter and just
28:16
like, for no reason, he's
28:18
like barely been around. It's not like
28:20
Harry is really like bothering him or
28:23
whatever. And we only see Draco for
28:25
a minute, but at the end of
28:27
the chapter, Harry has actually done
28:29
a pretty good job in potions because for
28:31
the first time ever, Snape is ignoring him
28:33
rather than abusing him. And
28:36
he is about to turn in a
28:38
good potion, which we've just found out is
28:40
actually really important for his career, like being
28:42
able to turn in a couple of good
28:44
potions. And Draco intentionally knocks
28:46
the potion over so that Harry can't
28:48
turn it in. And I
28:50
was just thinking about how Draco
28:53
might not be part of a
28:55
community. And I'm wondering what
28:57
you think about that, because he he
29:00
thinks he's better than everyone. So I don't
29:02
think he's like a part of team Slytherin,
29:04
right? Like, I think he prefers
29:06
being in Slytherin than anything else, but I'm
29:09
not sure that he's someone who like particularly
29:11
cares about Slytherin. For the Quidditch
29:13
team, he bought his way on, right? And
29:15
like, there's just like an asterisk by his
29:17
name. And then his relationships
29:19
with Crab and Goyle, right? Like he's just
29:21
the boss. There's like no equality.
29:24
And I'm wondering
29:26
what you think about is
29:31
it possible to have community where
29:34
one person essentially has all of
29:36
the control? Right? Because
29:38
like that just seems like a dynamic
29:41
and potentially an incredibly unhealthy dynamic more
29:44
than a community. And I'm wondering if
29:46
part of why Draco is such a jerk all
29:49
the time is because he doesn't have any
29:51
community. Yeah, I think it's a good question. I
29:53
mean, I guess it depends if you see a
29:55
bad community is not a community. Right?
29:57
Like, which I can tell you I see right we if we're
30:00
defining community as something positive, and I think a
30:02
bad community is in the community. I think that's
30:04
what you're getting at, right? But if we're taking
30:06
this kind of bare-bones definition of you move together,
30:09
right? I mean, I think a lot of
30:11
what the Slytherin community is now, and certainly
30:13
what the Death Eater community is and will
30:15
be, is a community based on fear,
30:18
right? You move together because you're afraid. Either of what
30:20
will happen to you or what will happen to others.
30:22
That is definitely the way that Voldemort exerts power, and
30:24
you can see that that trickles down to the way
30:26
that notable families
30:29
within his circle also operate and operate
30:31
with one another, and that trickles down
30:33
to the way that the Slytherins operate.
30:35
And so, like, they do move
30:37
together in that basic way, but I don't think
30:39
that they build each other up. You know what
30:41
I mean? What we're saying about the Weasley's is
30:43
that, like, the sum of their courage adds up
30:45
to more than the parts, right?
30:47
Because their courage feeds off each other,
30:49
builds one another. They actually grow into
30:51
something more powerful than anyone individually is.
30:53
I think, and this is why
30:55
they lose at the end of the series, right?
30:58
I think the opposite happens with communities based on
31:00
fear, which is that we draw from each other.
31:02
We make each other more scared, less courageous, less
31:05
willing to risk for one another, less willing to
31:07
stand up for one another, because we're
31:09
mostly just scared of what's gonna happen to us. And
31:11
so, yeah, I think it's a community that has a
31:13
lot of potential to fail, but the
31:15
reason why it gets as far as it does, I think,
31:17
is because fear is a
31:19
really great motivator. I mean, it's not a healthy
31:21
motivator, and it's not a kind one, but
31:24
it can be a useful one. And we see
31:27
in this book and in forthcoming books
31:29
how effective it can be when you're
31:31
able or willing to
31:33
really wield fear ruthlessly to try to get people
31:35
to move together, right? Yeah,
31:38
I just hate it. I
31:40
really get reminded about how much I hate Drake, though,
31:42
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33:27
You mentioned Draco and Draco becomes part
33:29
of this inquisitorial squad in this chapter
33:31
that supports Umbridge as she
33:34
tries to enforce all her rules around
33:36
the school. One of the things that really
33:38
struck me at the end of this chapter and that final
33:40
climactic scene that I mentioned when Fred and George are about
33:42
to fly out of the building
33:44
is, you know, the whole school
33:47
has gathered. All the authorities
33:49
or whatever have gathered to punish Fred and
33:51
George. And then the other teachers have gathered
33:53
just to see what's going on. And
33:55
all the students, whether loyal to Umbridge
33:57
or loyal to Dumbledore or indifferent. They've
34:00
all gathered in this single space. The whole school
34:02
is there. And I just had
34:04
this mental image in my head of like, here is
34:06
the Hogwarts community. We have one sense of community, which
34:08
is just like, here are the people who are part
34:11
of Hogwarts and they're all in one place. But
34:13
then, especially as the text describes it,
34:15
you can see the inquisitorial squad standing together in one
34:18
place, and you see other members of
34:20
different houses standing together. We also have
34:22
these internal divisions within the community, sub-communities
34:24
within the community. It just got
34:27
me thinking about how every community is also
34:29
made up of people who are
34:31
moving against or moving alongside or
34:33
moving backwards or whatever. It's not
34:36
always just moving together, right? Communities
34:38
are made up of sub-communities and
34:40
individuals who are resisting or pressing
34:42
or turning or refusing or whatever.
34:44
And we see that in the
34:46
Hogwarts community in this final scene. And
34:49
you could even imagine someone saying, like,
34:51
we're not in community together. We just
34:53
like live in the same castle, right?
34:55
Like, I'm not in community with the
34:57
people in my apartment building. Whereas other,
34:59
to some extent, community is a feeling.
35:02
And I remember the first night
35:04
of freshman orientation when I was
35:07
a proctor in my third huge
35:09
living with 18-year-olds. But the first
35:11
night, they would have this cheering
35:14
competition where every floor
35:16
would see who could cheer the
35:18
loudest. And my floor never did
35:20
well because I could not
35:22
quite get myself to
35:24
encourage them to just
35:26
feel like a community because they all
35:28
lived on the same floor, right? Like,
35:31
I was like, we will become a
35:33
community by promising to
35:35
each other that we're gonna respect
35:37
each other's space and quiet. And
35:40
we're gonna do study breaks and get to
35:42
know each other. But right now, we're just
35:45
a group of people who were all assigned
35:47
to live somewhere. And I
35:49
know that other people really are like, okay,
35:51
we've been assigned to live somewhere together. That's
35:54
it. We're a small community. And
35:56
I've just always been really resistant to that.
35:59
Yeah, I love thinking. about this because absolutely
36:01
like you go through something together like
36:03
it's very easy from the outside to
36:05
see that this is a unique community
36:07
there are only a couple of hundred
36:09
students in this space in this moment
36:12
and yet also like I
36:14
don't know if they all just live in the same castle yeah
36:17
that's fair so
36:30
Vanessa now it's time for our weekly
36:32
sacred reading practice and this week we
36:34
are continuing our practice of L'Ectio Divina
36:36
which originates in Christian medieval practices of
36:39
reading the bible it's a four stage
36:41
process and we are going to pick
36:43
a line at random
36:45
from the chapter and
36:48
go through this four stage process so I
36:50
am randomly selected a line from the chapter and
36:52
here it is professor
36:54
Umbridge's smile vanished as
36:56
suddenly as a light bulb blowing oof
37:02
so in the first step of L'Ectio
37:04
Divina we just talk about what's literally
37:06
going on in the chapter like when
37:08
this line occurs in the chapter what
37:10
is literally going on do you
37:12
remember Vanessa? yes Matt this isn't one of the
37:14
most satisfying scenes in the
37:16
entire series I would argue and
37:19
that is when Harry and McGonagall
37:22
are having their careers advice
37:24
meeting but Umbridge has invited
37:26
herself to sit in and
37:29
so they have been talking about how Harry wants to
37:31
be an or and McGonagall
37:33
is like well it's a good thing that you're
37:35
really good at defense against the dark arts and
37:37
Umbridge is like no he's
37:39
not and McGonagall is like I'm
37:42
sorry he's been good with every competent
37:45
teacher you
37:47
haven't liked him but you're
37:49
horrible that was subtext and
37:52
then professor Umbridge's smile vanished as suddenly
37:54
as a light bulb blowing that's
37:56
a great summary it's a great line from
38:00
I should have made my meaning a planar.
38:02
He has achieved high marks in all defense
38:05
against the dark arts tests set
38:07
by a competent teacher. That's
38:10
right. That's a great summary, Vanessa.
38:12
So step two of La Cudavina is
38:15
to reflect upon what this reminds us
38:17
of in other
38:20
cultural texts or other areas of culture.
38:23
Matt, my family is in the
38:25
middle of watching Hitchcock movies. My
38:28
11-year-old has become obsessed with Alfred
38:30
Hitchcock. And so we watched North
38:33
by Northwest over the weekend. And
38:37
there is a relationship between
38:39
Cary Grant and
38:41
Ava Marie Saint, and he thinks that
38:43
they're in love. And then
38:45
it turns out she's a spy for the
38:47
other side. Just like
38:49
that, you're not who I
38:51
thought you were. Interesting.
38:54
He goes from being like, I'm in
38:57
love with you to being like, you're
38:59
a traitor and I'm heartbroken. What
39:02
about you, Matt? That's interesting. That's
39:04
a nice emotional association. I'm just going for what's
39:06
right on the surface, which is the light bulb
39:08
blowing. Okay. Blowing makes
39:11
me feel like it blew up. And
39:13
it reminds me of the movie The Natural, which is not
39:15
a movie I've seen recently. I think I saw it as
39:17
a kid. But I just know. Based
39:20
on the Bernard Malamud novel? That's right. The
39:23
end of the movie, at least, when
39:26
Robert Redford hits the home run with a
39:28
different bat because the bat he has used
39:30
all the time has just broken, which by
39:32
the way, listeners, that's not the way
39:34
bats work in Major League Baseball these days. They
39:37
go through like a bat a day. They break these bats all the
39:40
time. Anyway, Robert Redford, in
39:42
his last at bat ever, hits
39:44
a home run and the ball goes up into the
39:46
lights and hits the lights and
39:48
a shower of sparks fall
39:51
on him as he rounds
39:54
the bases. It's very dramatic.
39:56
When I think of light bulbs blowing in
39:58
American popular culture, I think of the end of the natural. I
40:01
love both of these answers because
40:04
this is a celebratory
40:06
moment for McGonagall, right? Like
40:09
Umbridge's smile vanishing, like
40:11
a light bulb blowing is an
40:14
awesome moment for McGonagall. And
40:17
then also this like, I thought we were
40:19
on the same team. I don't think that
40:22
Umbridge like thought she and
40:24
McGonagall were like besties, but
40:26
I think she thought the
40:28
McGonagall was going to like
40:30
maintain professionalism. Or at least respect
40:32
her authority. Right? Exactly. And
40:35
in this moment, I think you and I
40:37
would both agree that what McGonagall does here
40:39
is awesome and is like respecting a bigger
40:41
authority, which is like believing in
40:44
a child's education. But I
40:46
think that we did a great job with step two. I
40:48
agree. I can't wait to see what we do with the next
40:50
two steps. And that's a step three of Lecture
40:54
Zavina is we speak about what
40:56
this reminds us of in our own lives. Have
40:59
you ever hit a home run that has knocked out a light
41:01
bulb and showered sparks upon you as you run to the basis?
41:05
I'm trying to think of moments where I've been
41:07
like smiling and I got a piece of news
41:09
and I was like, Oh, nevermind. I mean,
41:12
Matt, what it reminds me of I've
41:14
been thinking about this lately, and I'm
41:16
not sure why there was there was
41:18
one night when I was doing my
41:20
clinical pastoral education in an emergency room
41:23
and the social worker
41:26
had clocked out for some reason. I
41:29
was the person who called someone to
41:32
tell them that their son had gotten
41:34
into a motorcycle accident. And
41:37
it's the only time I ever
41:39
had to give that news. And
41:41
just like dialing the number being
41:43
like keenly aware that no matter
41:45
what was going on with this
41:47
person, I was about to make their
41:50
life infinitely worse,
41:53
right? Like they're really just becomes this
41:55
like heady thing where you're like, every
41:57
second they don't know, other seconds. they
42:00
have peace. This was almost 10
42:03
years ago and I just remember it so vividly,
42:05
you know, being handed the phone number
42:07
by the nurse and being told what the person's name
42:09
was, like all of it. And yeah,
42:11
just like having to give that news knowing
42:14
that I was effectively like blowing up their
42:17
light bulb. That's what it reminds me of. Yeah,
42:19
this is reminding something that happened in lecture a few weeks
42:21
ago. My lecture style is not
42:23
unlike my podcast host style, which
42:25
is I think I generally have like
42:28
a warm and cheery tone, but
42:30
also kind of like podcast host
42:32
style. I also will kind of abruptly
42:35
speak about very dark or sad
42:37
things. And
42:39
I just noticed in lecture a couple weeks ago, I
42:41
can't remember the exact example, but I was saying some
42:43
things and people were chuckling and I just kind of
42:45
dropped something kind of heavy. And one person laughed in
42:48
the room. And I was
42:50
like, Oh, I mean, oh, sorry, that was
42:52
serious. And I felt like bad because I
42:54
was like, I don't blame you for laughing
42:56
because obviously the momentum of this paragraph was
42:59
here's something that's not too heavy. And then I ended
43:01
it with a very heavy thing. It just reminds me
43:03
of that moment where we're just kind of like, Oh,
43:05
smile vanishing really suddenly in the room. Matt
43:08
Potts just flicked off the light of
43:10
happiness in here. And I kept
43:13
smiling by mistake. I
43:15
would like to withdraw my chuckle. That's
43:18
what it's reminding me. If
43:21
that person, I do not blame you for your, your
43:23
chuckle. I know it's my fault. Vanessa
43:25
step four of Lectio is we reflect upon
43:28
what this line is calling us to do
43:30
in our life. What
43:32
is this calling you to do? It makes me feel
43:34
cold to like not being scared to
43:36
say the thing that's going to make
43:39
other people's style vanish or the other
43:41
way around. Right? Life
43:44
is complicated. I think
43:47
that even amongst like
43:49
sadness, we
43:51
should take the levity where we can find it.
43:53
And then also I think amongst levity, this is
43:56
just like a very Jewish thing, right? Like you break
43:58
a glass at the wedding to remind yourself that
44:00
on the happiest day is like there's still destruction
44:02
in the world. You you know
44:04
pour out part of your wine
44:06
at Seder. You like every celebration
44:09
in Judaism is cut by acknowledgement
44:11
that there is suffering in the world. Yeah. And
44:14
yeah I just like I don't
44:16
know I feel fine about that. Like yeah
44:19
every once in a while telling people something that'll break
44:21
their smiles. Yeah I
44:24
mean that's why I don't I don't blame the person for
44:26
chuckling in my classroom but I think that's also why I
44:28
talk that way is like if you can only laugh when
44:31
you pretend the world isn't suffering then you shouldn't laugh. Right
44:34
exactly. You kind of have to see the world
44:36
as it is. What this has me thinking about
44:38
with this line is I'm gonna I'm gonna lead
44:40
us on a little journey. You know there's this
44:42
adage a smile brightens the room right you can
44:45
see the association in this line between a smile
44:47
and light but umbrage of smile is not a
44:49
genuine smile right. Yeah. What's happening here is like
44:51
the smile is vanishing because it was never really
44:53
there there's not actual joy beneath it there's not
44:55
happiness beneath it and that's why the
44:57
light goes out right. I think that yeah
45:00
so maybe it's connected to what you were saying like to be able to
45:02
smile in face of
45:04
darkness is actually what brightens the room
45:06
not to smile as a
45:08
way to pretend it's not there or something. In
45:11
The Plague by Albert Camus two of the
45:13
characters when the plague is raging they decide
45:15
to go for a swim they're friends and
45:18
they're two of the like the frontline workers in
45:20
this plague in the city the name of which
45:22
I can't even remember now the fictional city but
45:24
they decide to go for a swim and one
45:26
character smiles to the other and the
45:29
way that Camus describes it it says it's a
45:31
smile that's forgotten nothing not even murder right
45:34
like this smile is not one that's pretending the
45:36
world is not as bad as it is but
45:38
can take joy in this moment despite the fact that the
45:40
world is as it is and that's a real genuine
45:42
smile that is a smile it does give light in
45:45
the midst of darkness rather than pretend that there's
45:47
light or or give the illusion of light in
45:49
the midst of darkness. Always good to
45:51
remind us of Camus. Well
45:53
Matt thank you so much for that
45:55
really beautiful Leptio Divina. Thank you Vanessa. Do
46:00
you like to think critically about representations of
46:29
queerness? Are you interested in television
46:31
history, character analysis and the impact
46:33
of pop culture on society? Then
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you are going to love this
46:37
new class from Not Sorry Productions.
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A quick and dirty history of
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46:44
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46:46
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46:48
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April 27th and I think you're gonna love
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it. Hope writes for film, theater
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writing for the screen and stage from
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also a recent guest on Harry Potter
47:08
and the Sacred Depths. From
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uncle Arthur on Bewitched to queer
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as folk at the turn of
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the last century and on through
47:16
today's shows like Our Flag Means
47:18
Death, The Magicians and Heartstopper, participants
47:20
will discuss how LGBTQIA plus characters
47:23
have been represented and misrepresented on
47:25
American television for decades. We're offering
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a sliding scale tuition for this
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course so head to notsorryworks.com to
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47:33
at the price that works for
47:35
you. That's notsorryworks.com. This
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is an awesome class. Hope's amazing.
47:49
Our voice memo this week is from Janie. Hi
47:53
you all. I'm a long time listener
47:55
but I've been waiting for the perfect
47:57
opportunity to bless Janie Weasley. after
48:00
listening to your episode
48:02
on the St. Mungo's chapter from
48:04
book five It
48:06
just really felt like the right time You
48:08
guys talked about how Jenny is the
48:11
one to receive Arthur's hug when he's
48:13
in the hospital And
48:15
I like Jenny and the youngest in my
48:18
family. I have three
48:20
older brothers So, you know not the
48:22
same as five but but similar And
48:25
I think it's really easy for people
48:27
to see the times that being the
48:29
youngest and being the only girl Is
48:33
really great, you know in times of crisis
48:35
I would be the only one of my
48:37
family to receive a hug from my parents even
48:40
if my brothers didn't but
48:42
it's a little tougher I think if you haven't lived it
48:44
to see the hard parts and so
48:46
much of why Jenny's my favorite character is
48:49
because I really look up to
48:51
the way that she Handles the hard parts of
48:53
being the youngest in her family and
48:55
of being the only girl I
48:58
think anyone who has any kind of separation
49:00
from their siblings whether it's you
49:02
know a big age gap or a
49:04
difference in interests or gender or Whatever
49:06
it may be can really look
49:09
to Jenny and see how she just
49:11
fiercely advocates for herself She
49:15
doesn't let Excluding
49:17
her be even on the table
49:20
as an option she
49:22
is confident in her position as a
49:24
really important member of the Weasley family
49:26
and she cultivates
49:30
strong relationships with all of her brothers
49:33
and As
49:35
I've read and reread these books Seeing
49:38
Jenny do this has given me so
49:40
much confidence to do the same and has
49:43
strengthened my relationships with everyone in my family
49:46
so blessings for Jenny and blessings
49:48
for all little
49:50
siblings Thank
49:53
You Jenny for that lovely voice my moment for
49:55
being such a great younger sibling the
49:57
half of an SMI that our younger
49:59
siblings are grateful for this blessing, and the half
50:01
of it, our older siblings, are also grateful for our
50:03
younger siblings, and for the blessing that they are to
50:05
us. So thank you. It
50:10
is now time for us to remember members
50:12
of our community who have been loved and
50:14
lost. Reem
50:18
Nabhan, who is three years old, a
50:21
beloved daughter, granddaughter, and sister.
50:27
Eric Nabhan, who is five,
50:30
a beloved brother, son, and
50:32
godson. Sherry
50:37
Leibich, who is 84, a grandmother,
50:40
mother, wife, and friend to
50:42
anyone she met. May
50:48
their memories be a blessing to us all. Matt,
50:58
we now offer blessings to characters in
51:01
the chapter. Who are you blessing? I'm
51:03
going to follow Janie's lead, and I'd
51:05
like to bless Janie. Janie is the
51:07
one who kind of starts everything rolling
51:09
in this chapter. She's with Harry when
51:12
the box of Easter eggs comes. She's
51:14
there to receive Harry's emotion and vulnerability, and
51:16
also the one to suggest like, you know, nothing's
51:18
impossible when you've got the Weasleys on your side.
51:20
And she's right. She's right to have that opinion,
51:22
and she's right to share it with Harry, and
51:24
all that happens in the rest of this chapter
51:26
really comes down to her making
51:28
these connections. So Janie's instrumental, as in so many
51:30
things in these books, but in this chapter in
51:33
particular. So I wanted to bless her this week.
51:35
Who are you blessing? I love that.
51:37
Nothing's impossible when the Weasleys are on your side.
51:39
I am blessing Hermione
51:42
because there was a moment that we talked
51:44
about earlier in which Draco spills Harry's really
51:46
good potion. And so he's like, Harry's about
51:48
to go back to his cauldron to, you
51:51
know, get a little bit of the potion
51:53
that's maybe left at the bottom of it.
51:55
But Hermione has already cleaned his cauldron. And
51:59
she's like, Oh my God. I'm so sorry Harry and
52:01
I just want to say her money. There's nothing
52:03
to be sorry for that's such a beautiful gesture
52:05
that you just like clean up
52:07
on your way out the door and I
52:11
just want to know everything about this like is
52:13
she always cleaning up after Ron and Harry or
52:15
like Do they not really
52:17
have to clean up and she just has a second so she's
52:19
able to I don't know what it is but I Just
52:23
know that she probably feels so bad even
52:25
though she was just doing a very kind
52:27
thing So I want to offer a blessing
52:29
for kind things that have
52:31
gone wrong It
52:34
doesn't make them less kind Next
52:36
week we're gonna be reading book 5 chapter 30 Gralp
52:39
through the theme of determination with
52:42
the wonderful Jackson bird Just
52:45
a few reminders before we give our
52:47
thanks everybody. Please contribute to our don't
52:50
be a dursley campaign You
52:53
can find out more about that by
52:55
going to Harry Potter sacred text calm
52:57
and donating to our fundraiser for on
52:59
the rise This has been
53:01
a not sorry production and not sorry productions
53:03
is a feminist production company Our executive producers
53:05
are Caitlin Hofmeister and Vanessa Zoltan. We are
53:07
edited and produced by AJ Yeramas Our music
53:09
is by Ivan Paizau and Nick Bull and
53:11
we are distributed by a cast Thanks
53:14
this week to Janie for their voicemail
53:16
to Ariana Nettleman Julia Argy Margaret H
53:18
Willison Nikki Zoltan Hannah Rehack Casper to
53:21
Kyle Courtney Brown Natalie full Kurtz Stephanie
53:23
Paulsell and Everyone who sent in
53:25
the names of those they have loved and lost
53:27
this week You
53:54
Can I count you in Michigan
54:00
What is it for Mike? Michigan just pronounced
54:02
her eyes very long like short E's. I said, can
54:04
I count you N? That's
54:07
not the way it's pronounced. Yes, you can. Can I
54:09
count you in? Okay, can
54:12
I count you in? Wow. That's what that
54:14
was. Please do. Can I count you
54:16
in? No, okay. Can I count
54:18
you in? Are you sure you're ready? Now
54:21
I'm in my head. Can
54:23
I count you in? Can I count you in? Can I
54:25
count you in? I can't. What's my
54:27
motivation here, AJ? What's my motivation? I don't... I
54:30
can't. I can't. What's my
54:32
motivation here, AJ? What's my motivation?
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