0:00

What's happening, lads? Listen, the time has

0:03

nearly arrived. On Saturday the 18th

0:05

of May, I'm doing my final

0:07

tour date at the M&S Bank

0:09

Arena in Liverpool. There's still some

0:11

tickets left. It's the biggest show I've ever

0:13

headlined, but it's not just me going to

0:15

be there. I'll be doing me hour, but

0:17

I've got a few of me mates coming

0:19

to do stand-up and I've got some surprise

0:22

musical guests. It's going to be absolutely unbelievable.

0:24

I'm so excited. And the final tickets have

0:26

just gone on sale. And they're on adamrowe.co.uk.

0:29

You can also get them on the M&S Bank

0:31

Arena website and Ticketmaster, but all the links to

0:33

all of them are on adamrowe.co.uk. Come and be

0:35

part of the biggest night of my career so

0:38

far. And I'm going to blow the roof off

0:40

the gaff. Please come and see us. And

0:42

come and see me doing Dan Nightingale and Fiends, some

0:44

of my favourite rooms around the country and one in

0:46

Dublin. Some of my favourite

0:48

comedians with me, messing around with filming

0:51

it all. Dan Nightingale and Fiends, it's

0:53

at dannightingale.com. And

0:55

if you haven't already, why are you

0:57

not signed up at patreon.com/have a word

1:00

pod, one of the biggest patrons on

1:02

the planet. This podcast, this independent podcast

1:04

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1:06

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1:09

Because you get value for money. You get

1:11

early access to these public episodes. You get

1:13

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1:16

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1:18

get access to the entire back catalogue as

1:20

soon as you sign up from just three

1:22

pound a month. Tell them about the specials,

1:24

Daniel. Oh my God, we've got so many

1:27

lock-ins where we get drunk in here.

1:29

We went to Nashville, that's a three-parter.

1:31

We've done all sorts. We've taken over

1:33

a restaurant. We've had a racing day.

1:35

I'm literally, there's 40 of these things.

1:37

There's so many, I'm forgetting the good

1:39

ones. Amsterdam, Ghost Hunts. There's so many

1:41

to list and there's a new one

1:43

coming every month. The one we've just

1:45

released, the Art Special is one of

1:47

the most popular we've ever released. patreon.com/have

1:49

a word pod. Go and sign up

1:51

now. I guarantee once you're there, you'll

1:53

never leave in a bit. Nice

1:55

one. In

2:00

the game from the heart of Liverpool

2:02

with Adam, Dan, Sensei, Carl

2:04

and Finn. This is the

2:07

one and only, Have A Word!

2:09

Brought to you by Manscape, the

2:11

very best product on the market

2:13

for below the waist to do.

2:16

Go Ed, get on me. Oh,

2:19

and I know waddlers,

2:21

how to save a life. Where

2:24

did I go wrong?

2:26

I lost a friend

2:28

somewhere along in the

2:30

bitterness and I could

2:32

have stayed up with

2:34

you all night. Had

2:36

I known how to

2:38

save a life. Welcome

2:41

to the Have A Word! podcast with boys to men.

2:44

My mother chat with me about that song once. I

2:48

had a fight with one of my best friends growing up. Another

2:51

lad called Adam, punches Adam. Yeah,

2:53

he's dead now. There's

2:57

a large dog trying to break into the studio. We

3:03

were always fighting this game. We

3:05

were always fighting and

3:08

we had a fight and a falling out and it was just

3:10

as that song came out. And I was

3:12

listening to that song a lot and because

3:14

like the lyrics, I lost a friend.

3:18

She was like, because you've been fighting

3:20

this album, is that what you're listening to? The

3:22

song on repeat all the time. No

3:25

Mum, I've got undiagnosed ADHD. This

3:29

is what I'm into for this two months. That

3:32

song as well. Yeah, it was a banger. I was the South

3:34

of France, you know, I'm called on. It

3:36

was alright, yeah. Good, you seem

3:38

to have taken a serious interest in

3:41

this. Said his interest. While I

3:43

was away. No, it's not. No

3:45

one had an interest of this. I was like, I'm

3:47

going to France and it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

3:49

I didn't know you were going to France. I know,

3:51

yeah. I think Finn has said something and

3:53

then it's all cooked up. I've not watched the

3:56

Patreon exclusive yet because I feel hungover from

3:58

last night, which was lots of fun. Thank you. That

4:00

you don't want You don't count on an

4:02

Israelite. Is he in the room now? At

4:06

were just one set of there's no pictures

4:08

of any with you with anyone else. Ah,

4:12

Nope. this some there's a family thing

4:14

I am. Women: Get.

4:17

You. Know we're not just having a chat. The

4:19

Pope you know do know that we remembered what

4:21

this is. Yeah, that is about your uncle Uncle

4:24

who will. Likely that was a big uncle. Is.

4:26

My Mom's friend. You mom's friend's Day

4:28

after my mom died. A

4:30

couple of like a coal mines christine.

4:33

By. It's Christine to Not for can. We've

4:35

all got one of them via Live on

4:37

us because they know I'm Carol a local.

4:39

Robert. And. They were gray after

4:41

mumbled dies and of oil. Stayed in touch

4:43

with Robert. Okay of got

4:45

out. I said i know some of the moms

4:48

might as well you know and I even such

4:50

then. You. Just don't go on holiday with imagine

4:52

that he ran I go to the south of France would

4:54

have been somebody any. Anti

4:56

Dev A My of you never know that I've

4:59

never been to Come With Awesome and did have

5:01

a temporary. Follow him

5:03

on. Bacon of name's usually by the been

5:05

above. And now

5:07

I'm called.it's Humber. Only so far can let's all

5:09

make a mess with. We found a lot of

5:11

human in the fact that you know that is

5:14

when gullible enough rounds out the funds for the

5:16

mother. And. Of an old Months

5:18

to get a moral must be

5:20

sixty six am. I've been to

5:22

Marrakech were them have been to

5:24

Frog or them have been some

5:26

allowed. Have been to Madrid and

5:28

surveys Have you been away with

5:30

loan. Or. Even

5:32

have a lot more than the last. Am

5:34

have known Robert. Ah

5:38

so that house the Scots last. Month

5:42

that a sense of this I sort sweet

5:44

sweet the slaughterhouse like a know some is

5:46

coming along. It was a massive on a

5:48

money as long as I haven't been at

5:50

someone on all of his mind and brava.

5:52

the thing. Is.

5:59

Is with fear. It's good that you're for

6:01

the love of. He. Has read like

6:03

yeah. But it's a family thing that you

6:05

don't take pictures with. Robert. As. Is I'm from?

6:07

No, No, No, there's been no. For.

6:11

Vanishes, Is in the mafia, doesn't

6:13

have a M S. Yes,

6:15

is it bother you guys? were. Still

6:19

a. Lot

6:21

of I'm a story. Home

6:24

and some. Is

6:26

a swath of other hobbies. A lot

6:28

isn't it? Was

6:33

nearly as the under isn't that says, he said. What?

6:37

Mugabe. Allows what a hopefully won't

6:39

use of and us what new item local

6:41

cable been arrested. Soup

6:44

hot hemisphere me that the who shot Not

6:47

box in the south of France were not

6:49

on the idea. That.

6:51

Was good. have a good. Went.

6:53

To a gay bar on such neither. The best

6:55

bet is so good. Zealand. And south

6:57

of France where with an old man a here

6:59

is known for lungs eyes pretty gump and is

7:01

pretty calm and you into a gay bar but

7:03

I'm I'm way it'll just post a city and

7:06

say that this is no no no you know

7:08

you love your lot say why view on it's

7:10

absolutely valid been sounds like you're woman or man

7:12

I'm friends. With

7:16

paid miss those sound books it goes

7:18

on a make. It was like I'd

7:20

best weather mother gave us. I've rarely

7:22

was there in the gamer. I

7:25

had the best time. Is it

7:28

French gay tunes a normal guy

7:30

to? Ah yes it is real

7:32

lads messiah. Yes it's friends, gators,

7:35

Oh a second indeed. I don't

7:37

know. Insist on just gay songs

7:39

is just that it's a fuckin'

7:41

you know what you'd expect. One

7:44

of friends gave us a very

7:46

friendly. Did.

7:48

A foot. Really fun. At it. French

7:51

booze in. Is. Just a you

7:53

know this like cafe brasserie thing. Now you

7:55

can drink a from eleven am. Pool.

7:58

Just outside usually. You

8:00

gotta do that until midnight when we close.

8:02

There's no, this doesn't seem like there's any

8:04

gears. and the day? yes especially like you

8:06

fancy bear at lunchtime cove well that looks

8:08

exactly like the bay you have at seven

8:10

o'clock at night. ska bit bored of it.

8:13

not that I don't like Busan love ballad

8:15

of the culture of it a d like

8:17

little bit but on our side and i

8:19

start again the like and we'd pass the

8:21

a bar called blitz an ally Arts the

8:23

guys thing of over say i now ago

8:25

in a monk was like he like tried

8:27

to go along with a joke news last

8:29

week. And then lay around one. Out of luck, I.

8:32

Had. Enough. On

8:36

the mounties. I

8:38

think I'll I see the gay culture so many

8:40

apart from I don't really want to footman. Everything.

8:44

Else is great there's the best fucking

8:46

that best atmosphere of a. Blitz.

8:48

And nice as long as you might. Not.

8:51

Have you ever greater? And

8:54

that was nice to some weird

8:56

and. Absolutely

8:58

sounds mental. And. America

9:00

You learn about the whales when I'm on gray

9:02

a new not sure that most I'm not a

9:04

cock. You

9:07

can be neat and cotton. A. Most

9:09

avid were comfortable in a lesbian or gay.

9:12

Now I'm of out on you. Wouldn't

9:15

call it moved. I haven't gotten one goes

9:17

a you know my my out of the

9:19

most diverse that. Does

9:22

sound like eroded by alive lesbian

9:24

or five hundred was grown his

9:26

head out before gonna. Are.

9:30

So. Job or not. Yeah nice time when the

9:32

unesco the way. Through

9:35

the pasture early. Something

9:38

this know. You've

9:42

got to see Buddha antecedents. Ah

9:44

yes, not for a while. I

9:47

know for a while. Back

9:50

up. For

9:52

the order list as my eyes

9:55

or water effects of assists the.

9:58

Out of class time. Newsday Drunk

10:00

the whole time for Kimberly. Know.

10:04

Guinness just call them they're. Bright.

10:07

But. A to figure out on on save any

10:09

some a posh it's a bit posh I mean

10:11

I don't know of France. Nice. Is

10:14

a proper say on tapes of fishing

10:16

village has been taken over by like.

10:19

The rich president is a bit tory book as

10:21

long as don't talk to any tories. A.

10:23

Topsy Stony Am and that was it.

10:26

Had a great time. I recommend Nice.

10:29

And also the A. Went

10:31

to the for shop the new shop or class.

10:33

If it's not like the stop the i got

10:36

t shirt a sticker I can't wait to get

10:38

low the Yankees game and com me com and

10:40

abby company goes. Straight

10:43

games. Fun. Out of it off as

10:46

if you must. I have a lot

10:48

if. The

10:51

yeah baby was a New York some on. Have you

10:53

forgotten. Impact of you

10:56

know, think I'm sorta bowser. And

10:59

I never. I never think about. Packing.

11:02

That I with the why because I know time But yes they

11:04

been so full as well. As yes,

11:06

there was a real exclude special with

11:08

the patron special that's going out. And

11:10

What? Ten? twelve days? System.

11:13

Some in either. Not.

11:15

Nine to wear, whatever it's coming out in the next

11:17

week or two. Is. Going to be

11:19

very popular and it was a brilliant I

11:21

like I loved. Yesterday I got the I

11:23

got proper Good fails about. Have.

11:26

A word yesterday. But. It's been busy

11:28

on it but in labs you can just open a

11:30

bike. was some shit and old and a new stuff

11:32

that you bought. know what? Cause. He can't

11:34

see really? don't in isn't don't like

11:36

to was. And. Only attorney or

11:38

a went wild was.in. Which.

11:41

Made public. Sixpence a problem. Pajama pants. Are you

11:43

from a passion? Ah, now you can't just buy

11:45

stuff in. I need to be like right? That's

11:47

what I'm going away. Facing. i

11:49

tried it a friday night saturday something

11:51

nice i need some we all died

11:53

monday i'm flying own get ah i

11:55

need like save all style except for

11:57

the article off its beloved i have

11:59

either I need to be actually the all

12:01

aware that but I've got with this what season

12:03

how am I feeling? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, but it's

12:05

gonna be all right apparently looks all

12:07

right lovely I didn't know you

12:10

were like putting out your outfits.

12:12

You've seen how much I I travel with Yes,

12:15

we're going for five days four or five

12:17

days. Yeah, and I will say Oh

12:21

you won't you you'll take the bag that's meant

12:23

to be 23 kilograms and it'll probably be 25.7.

12:26

Is that fair? Yeah,

12:28

and then I'll have an argument with a Georgian woman when she's being

12:30

a bitch about it Georgian

12:32

woman time traveler go

12:35

from Georgia. Oh from the country Georgia that George

12:44

yeah, I can't do like you can go no do

12:46

like one t-shirt kind of fish me fucking nervous No,

12:51

I'm you know, I like I get

12:53

it I'm not just I'm not I don't

12:55

know. I'll have more shoes. Oh,

12:57

right. You need to three two

12:59

three pants per jeans maybe Yeah,

13:02

four t-shirts and then in my head. I like

13:04

I buy stuff for t-shirts. It's wild But it's

13:06

not cuz the shops where you're going nice has

13:08

got nice up, New York He's famous for shopping.

13:11

Why don't you take Lex and buy some stuff

13:13

out there like you can do anyway I'll take

13:15

more I'm by the stuff Yeah,

13:17

cool. I didn't take everything I think it's easier

13:19

for you because I don't mean this to come

13:21

across the wrong way whenever you've got anything on

13:24

It's all you always look like you do I

13:26

mean you got an outfit? Yeah, like you

13:28

always look like that's all you ever wear even though.

13:30

I know you wear other stuff, right?

13:36

With a little light Don't

13:38

mean I'm trying to

13:40

find the full dig here. It's not a big Yeah,

13:44

it's a simpler. It is a dick. It's a simpler.

13:46

It's a simpler. Do you know what I mean? Right?

13:48

No, there's no doubt we know people in this company

13:50

who only wear the same thing and it's like it's

13:52

a Bill Gates mind What

13:54

I got loads loads of different clothes

13:57

I wear different clothes you

13:59

guys like me. Do I

14:01

have Finn? Do I have to have clothes? Well yesterday I

14:03

was so... I couldn't tell you what you had on yesterday.

14:05

Yesterday in my head you were wearing that. He

14:08

was. I was, yeah. Alright, okay. I

14:10

was going to dress as you yesterday. I was going

14:12

to wear high top, like shoes, rolled

14:14

up jeans, a julie, a

14:16

hoodie and a hat. Right.

14:19

That's your rig, aren't it? Like

14:22

if you're picking you. Apart from when it's not. Which

14:25

sort of contradicts the point, innit? Do you

14:28

know what I mean? You're like, did you just wear the

14:30

same thing? Apart from those other things you wear that are

14:32

different. It's not that you only wear the same thing,

14:34

it's just that I think you do. Yeah, but

14:36

that's... Yeah. That says a lot

14:38

about you, not me though, innit? No

14:40

I think it is both. Oh right, okay. Yeah.

14:43

I think we've both got to blame here. Yeah.

14:46

Mmm. I just realised I haven't taken

14:48

any washing off the machine and stuff in the drying time

14:50

but I'm all in it. I'm so sad. Oh. Is

14:53

there no... is there no one you can

14:56

call? I've stopped doing that. Just doesn't matter. Amazing.

15:00

Oh, I can take the other way to the laundry. Have you

15:02

not got a neighbour with a key? I mean that would be

15:04

next level neighbourly. No, it's on these

15:06

in there. I've stopped doing laundry completely. I

15:08

know, I need to. Chocka. Someone

15:11

picks it up and he ends up it off. When

15:14

it's cleaning. What's Adam doing in the garden?

15:16

He's having a fire. It's his weekly. What's

15:18

the fair round at that time? Like

15:21

three days. Oh fuck me. It's

15:23

absolutely... because it's not expensive. I

15:25

know not everyone can afford it,

15:27

whatever but it's not

15:29

worth my time. What are you looking

15:31

at? I worked out the hours of washing

15:34

it and then waiting for it to

15:36

dry. I'd be on less than minimum wage doing

15:39

my own laundry. That's a disgrace as well. Instead

15:42

of paying... instead of paying these people

15:44

to do it. I

15:46

can't fucking eat with my hands. It's

15:48

not even worth my time. I pay

15:51

a little Georgian woman to fucking shovel

15:53

food. Look at me. I'm fucking... I'm

15:55

business. Amazing. And

15:57

you know what? You're probably right. You're probably right.

15:59

It is well better if you can just go, hey,

16:01

can you come round? If I didn't do my washing,

16:04

the money I'm paying these people, the amount of washing

16:06

that gets done, I'm brought back to my house on

16:08

a bi-weekly basis once every two weeks. Um...

16:13

It's, uh... I'd be doing my own washing

16:15

and I'm essentially saving about £4.50 an

16:17

hour. And it's not worth

16:19

it. And it's job creation. If you said to me, Adam, come

16:22

round to Ireland and do my laundry, I'd give you £4.50

16:24

an hour. I'd tell you to fuck

16:26

off. So why am I doing my own? It'd be illegal.

16:28

Why am I doing my own if I wouldn't do yours?

16:31

No, you clean his own clothes, Dan. Aw. But

16:33

why? I can't open

16:35

doors. It's a waste of my energy.

16:38

It's not even £2.50 an hour. Um...

16:41

And, you know, you're getting the economy back on its

16:43

feet and that's phenomenal. There's just a whole hive of

16:46

industry around Adam Rowe. Brilliant. They just do

16:48

it en masse and they've got a really good operation going and

16:50

it's packed. Where do you put it? Where do you have to

16:52

take it to them or do they come for you? Don't they

16:54

pick it up? Shut up. Come to the

16:56

door. Back-all folders? Hang

16:58

on, back-all. How much time is that taking you,

17:00

Adam? You can't. You

17:03

should pay someone to take it from your

17:05

bedroom to the door. You can't wait. Time

17:07

opening doors and handing bags out, Dan. It's

17:10

ludicrous. Taking time taking the clothes off

17:12

as body. No. Every night someone

17:14

takes them off. Ah, you should all take them to the place where

17:16

you're jealous. I'm jealous. Give

17:19

me their number. Same

17:21

thing. It's

17:24

art the future. I just... Laundry

17:27

up to the future. Now it's not a laundry service. It's

17:30

a laundry service. It's a way of life. It's

17:33

a state of mind. You're on minimum

17:35

wage doing your own washing. Don't you

17:37

feel stupid? Is washing one of your jobs in the

17:39

household, Dan? I'm

17:41

guessing you divide labour between yourselves.

17:44

I don't reckon you do. No.

17:48

That's not how it works in the real world,

17:50

Finn. Is it not? No, because my wife is

17:52

a... Don't say it.

17:56

No. What

17:58

do you think I'm going to say? I

18:00

don't know, a racist. And what did

18:02

you think I was going to say? Like a third

18:04

job. What do you mean? She's

18:07

a housewife. So it's, she's

18:09

a, you know, does stuff around the

18:12

house. She doesn't work

18:14

anymore, so. Okay, everyone's.

18:16

Yeah, come on. Come on. I can feel

18:18

the fear here. No, I'm all for it.

18:20

I'm on your side. So she

18:22

does more than what you're talking about. But

18:24

I don't. Real with an iron

18:27

fist, mate. That's what she enjoys.

18:29

And I know. I'm

18:33

all fished. She

18:38

does a bit more around the house. I used

18:40

to do, when she was working, I used to

18:43

do childcare in the day and then take to

18:45

nursery in the afternoon and I did housework

18:48

and then this kicked off and

18:50

I do more, I'm doing more

18:52

work and then she doesn't have to.

18:55

So she does more around the house. I do my

18:57

own clothes washing now, which I do not find tax

18:59

in whatsoever because obviously I've only got one outfit. And

19:03

so that's easy. I just

19:05

clean that every three weeks and then just, you

19:07

know, I just take it off. I'm

19:11

like, you know, at the start of the Lego movie.

19:16

Sam, if you cleaned your clothes. Would

19:18

you, you know, if you got home and Lord, I just haven't done

19:20

anything all day and it's just the kids' toys and just shite everywhere,

19:22

would you kick off? Would you be like,

19:25

what have you been fucking doing in this

19:27

house? Playing FIFA and getting beat. I feel

19:29

like we're good. She's getting beat on FIFA

19:31

and she's just like on the couch, just

19:34

in a pair of Yord undies and nothing else

19:36

playing FIFA and the house is a mess. Would you

19:38

be like, what's going on? I'd be so distracted by

19:40

a tit. I'd

19:42

just be like, I gotta move it. It

19:44

was a mess, but look at these. Apparently

19:48

women aren't meant to clean men's

19:50

clothes. That's the thing on TikTok now. Why? It

19:53

makes the man feel like the woman's a moment six or any

19:55

like sexual. Like a thing. Oh,

19:58

don't act like that. Don't have to let your

20:00

partner's mum essentially. Yeah,

20:03

I just don't think it's, I don't know, there's a

20:05

bad, I don't know, she does

20:07

all the kids washing, the clothes washing and

20:09

all of that, I just feel like she

20:11

doesn't need to be doing my thunder pants,

20:13

just, I'm a grown man, it doesn't

20:15

take that much, I've got my own washing machine. Got

20:18

my own washing machine. Oh yeah? Yeah, yeah,

20:20

yeah. No, you have your bedroom. Yeah, when

20:23

we got the kitchen done, we got the,

20:25

there's a little outhouse, which is basically a

20:27

utility room. She was like, oh, I'm getting

20:29

a new washing machine. So I was like, can

20:31

I just have the old one? And that'll be mine.

20:34

So the plumber was like, yeah, yeah, cool, I'll fix

20:36

it up. It's fucking great, so it's

20:38

always free. So when I get in the cold

20:40

plunge in the morning, you know, I wear

20:42

my thunder pants and my socks, I

20:44

take them off and just put them in the wash. So

20:47

they're just, there's isn't like a wet, you know, cause you've

20:49

only got one pair. Yeah, so

20:52

it's just my little washing machine. Again, this sounds mental

20:54

as well, doesn't it? Got my own

20:56

private washing machine. I've got my own bedroom. You

20:58

like Robert, use it when he comes down. But

21:02

downstairs, wash machine. And

21:08

Robert's poking around the utility room. I know he is. He

21:11

can do what he wants. My travel

21:13

partner. Probably

21:15

making plans for some audacious venture.

21:21

I've been getting it in the net here, haven't you? Nevermind,

21:23

I've really enjoyed it. Having your own washing

21:25

machine in a family home is well more

21:27

mental than what I do with my clothes.

21:32

It is. But it's horrible.

21:35

There's constant washes on and we had a washing machine

21:37

that couldn't go in the new kitchen. You're like, what

21:39

are we doing? I was like, why don't we just

21:41

have two? And you got your own oven. In theory,

21:43

it doesn't. Oh my God. It doesn't go now soon.

21:46

No, it does sound like that, doesn't it? It

21:48

sounds like that's, I live in a separate room.

21:53

Me and Laura, a few weeks ago, we know what we

21:55

need to get back in the same room. It's going to

21:57

be so good for our marriage. We lasted 25 minutes

21:59

and she was like. Do you want to go back to bed? What

22:03

are you doing? We're just moving and breathing.

22:05

Oh to the skies. Do you know the

22:07

mean are you you be all back? Yeah,

22:10

cuz you went from having your own room

22:12

for ages. But well a year. Yeah Yeah,

22:16

just cuz different time tables. I was

22:18

like, I just I just go to bed later than it's

22:20

fun Yeah, I was like in the

22:22

eight times table and cars and now I

22:32

go to bed late. She goes to bed at like half six in the afternoon

22:34

because she's a woman and they like to go to bed early I

22:38

go to bed We go to bed Is

22:41

anyone ever said half zigs in the afternoon

22:43

in the history of man? It

22:46

just started so wrong. Yeah,

22:48

no, you mean so wally Oh

22:50

left around devices Laura would be

22:52

in a pajamas at quarter past one in the afternoon

22:54

It's like cool. Are we not going anywhere? Let's get

22:56

this bra off. I'm in me comfy Oh She

23:02

goes to bed at like 10 and then

23:04

I'm like no, we're still today so I

23:07

won't go to bed till tomorrow That

23:10

is a dangerous game to play in it what not

23:12

just me, you know, yeah Well, then

23:14

I go to bed and then she's there within bed. It's like yo

23:18

Whoa, yeah, you know me do some interpretive done.

23:20

Yeah, but then you still share in your mouth.

23:22

Yeah, you manage manage Marry Marry

23:25

time bed. You're my time. You've married Nigel You're

23:31

marital bed. Yeah, when you're waking

23:33

up together and private question. I'm

23:35

asking on it more bonks.

23:37

Yeah. Well more. Oh, is it? Yeah You

23:41

can't have sex you back in your own room No,

23:44

we lasted on I'm not exaggerating came back. I was

23:47

like it's gonna be so good for us, babe We

23:49

need this she was like I totally

23:51

agree. I just want that connection again within half

23:53

an hour She was like you want to go back to your own room?

23:55

I was like, I absolutely do you She's

23:58

just moves and braids and stuff You're

24:00

going to have sex, you're not in the same room, that's just a fact. I'm

24:03

talking to you because... Wow. What's

24:07

up? That would take away a lot of your...

24:10

Sex issues. No, it wouldn't.

24:13

She's not. Are your rooms connected? Yeah,

24:17

by the London. No, I mean like, they're not next to-

24:19

are they next to each other? They're over the same roof.

24:22

No, no, I mean are they next door? No, there's a London. Oh

24:24

right, okay. There's a bedroom, a London. You're gonna be able to just

24:26

be in a glory hole. Oh,

24:29

through two walls? Across

24:31

the London? My

24:33

dick wouldn't get past the insulation. It'd

24:37

be so awful. She'd be like... But it

24:39

would improve your fuck life if you were in the same

24:41

room. Ah, my fuck life balance. Yeah,

24:44

you'd think so. But you're a morning

24:46

man, aren't you? Well, no, it's just we just don't do

24:48

a lot of the evening. Yeah, so if

24:51

you wake up together at the end of the fucking

24:53

town. Yeah, but this is the problem. We wake up

24:55

with the three-year-old going, Mummy, I want milk, iPad. Would

24:58

you ask first? Oh

25:00

yeah, it's a queuing system. Don't get his

25:03

milk, don't turn his iPad on. Bang me. Then

25:05

you can do your jobs. Nope, just wake up your four times,

25:07

you know? 6am, 5.30am. You're

25:10

on for 4am? Shh,

25:12

babe, I know what to say. The

25:14

kid's gonna stay. Yeah,

25:17

the iPad on. He can have

25:19

some milk. Wanna

25:22

wake up? Hey, wake up, babe. Can't get this iPad

25:24

working. I wanna go. You

25:27

imagine how I could keep it working,

25:29

lord. Oh,

25:33

give it a go, come on. Get a bigger bed.

25:35

How big is your bed? A

25:37

good size, yeah. Is it just like, what is

25:39

it? King size. Get a bigger one. You tried

25:42

dressing sexy? Changing

25:45

up the one outfit. Well, go on, talk me

25:48

through it. I

25:50

know that she's got a new fetish. Women

25:52

love firemen. Could have been the other name of

25:54

this podcast. Talk me through it. Firemen.

25:58

Women do love firemen. Yeah,

26:00

they do. Start the fire. Start the fire

26:02

and ring the pipe like it. And they'll

26:04

be like, hey, start the fire. Start the

26:07

fire. Start the fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've

26:09

lost half the house, but you must be

26:11

dripping. Are you up for it? Look at

26:13

you. You're scared for everyone's life.

26:16

Ah. You're so horny right now,

26:18

aren't you? False alarm. You're weeping.

26:21

You've lost so many dolomians. Do fire drills. Do

26:23

fire drills. 4am. I

26:26

went to Justify Station. One

26:29

of our lids is... I've forgotten

26:32

his fucking name. Mate, I'm so sorry. He's a bop

26:34

and crayons. And I'm such

26:36

a spanner. In my head, his name's

26:38

Sam. No way. And

26:42

his sister's a fire woman in Salford.

26:45

Very tragic. Every fire woman. And I met

26:47

him... I met both of the... Do

26:50

you want to hold you with him? Remember when we did

26:52

the Christmas thing? Yeah. And I went

26:54

to Tesco with Will, briefly. I met both

26:56

of them. Their mum was there. Oh my

26:59

god, you know my son and my daughter. They're

27:01

fire people. Fire people? Sounds

27:03

like we're living the forest. It's

27:06

like come round. And

27:08

we went round and I dressed up like a fireman. I

27:11

put it on Instagram. Yeah,

27:13

I remember. It does feel cool. It does

27:15

feel... Oh, now I remember. I dressed up

27:17

like a fireman. Wait for Laura. Laura was like,

27:19

that's what she meant. I thought she went, oh,

27:21

let's get the hose out. Yeah. Dressed

27:25

up like a fireman. Wait on the red for

27:27

that. Do the fucking pose. Right? She comes in.

27:30

What's that? Is that a fireman pose?

27:32

Yeah. You lay on the bed.

27:34

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, but then... Yeah.

27:37

I've come to check your smoke alarms. And like you've said, it

27:39

does feel cool. So if she comes in and she's like, what

27:41

are you doing? I'm not even going to fuck you or anything.

27:43

And then leaves. At least you still feel cool because you dressed

27:45

like a fireman. Yeah. Win,

27:47

win. You either get to have sex or feel cool. Or

27:50

both. And do I just keep the fireman costume on all

27:52

day? And is there any responsibility? Well, what if there's a

27:54

fire and they're like, oh my God, thank God you're here.

27:56

And you're like, oh, just doing this for the shags. I

28:01

just say I am an out. Yeah as

28:03

Laura ever sort of specified that she's got

28:05

any fetishes NCP carpark attendant I

28:08

got to find loves it. She's like oh my

28:10

god. Yeah, I could you at ease She

28:13

loves an actuary and if

28:15

you know what a dress up No

28:20

I don't know what I dress up as whatever

28:23

she wanted. I don't she likes like

28:26

dick swift You

28:29

know what actually you're not wrong there. How do

28:32

you sounds was quite a what is he like

28:34

androgynous with the word? Yeah, wait dresses dresses like

28:36

a girl. Yeah, but

28:38

she likes that. He's confident enough to do it

28:40

Yeah, she's like you could see that waistcoat with

28:42

a tambourine Of a hell

28:44

of a did that you Harry Harry Styles

28:46

is not just androgynous. It's like so off

28:48

the wall Sometimes that it's like it's

28:51

like he's he's lost So

28:53

many like fancy football leagues

28:55

and he's doing forfeit after forfeit. Yeah,

28:58

you've got it holds it off Don't get it.

29:00

Oh, he's just Beautiful any and

29:02

he's calling is good shape but women love

29:04

it. So I think I've addressed a bit

29:07

wild But I wouldn't think she'd like that

29:09

actually you do do that Anyway, I mean

29:11

like Harry start like a very high pant

29:13

purple trousers pulled right up She'd be

29:15

into that that's what she likes confidence. We'll shop some

29:18

of this in New York Well, I

29:20

bought a shirt that's similar to quite a wacky

29:22

share, you know, yeah What

29:25

day is that for green flowers? Oh

29:28

no Oh

29:30

my god, and he's not wearing it for Syracuse wearing

29:32

it for you. Yeah, he's

29:34

my Robert Moo

29:38

copy you're my

29:40

Robert Moo copy What

29:44

you're gonna do go and do you did you say you're

29:46

going to see the Knicks And

29:48

how did they go last night shit? You

29:52

only see the game seven game six Ready

30:00

We need... Can we do the score? Do the score

30:02

like you're on a... New York Knicks

30:04

106, Philadelphia 76ers 112. You're

30:09

not going to go. If that happens again, we go on a game 7. The

30:13

New York... The next game, game 6

30:15

is in Philly. So

30:17

they should win it and it goes to game 7. Oh

30:21

my god, that'll be so class. So we count

30:23

here. And then we're going to see the Yankees

30:25

on Sunday, Yankee Stadium. Yankee

30:27

Stadium. Oh, that'll

30:29

be so class if that goes to game 7. Knicks,

30:32

Yankees. What's the... I talk to you, the

30:34

Rangers. It might be out of season. It

30:37

is out of season. It's about to go into

30:39

the playoffs. Oh,

30:43

that's a good point, actually. I don't

30:45

know whether the Rangers made it. We didn't see

30:47

all the games. The New

30:49

York Rangers aren't in the playoffs. So,

30:53

hopefully your next game, the

30:56

Yankees game, shopping, loads of

30:58

scran. And I want to

31:00

go to a couple of species. Some of the best bars

31:02

in the world. Hoagie. Cuban.

31:05

You're going to have a little... You like a cigar

31:08

bar as well, don't you? I

31:10

do. A humido. I don't know whether he's... Is

31:12

that really the way he hates smokes, doesn't he? I

31:15

mean, when in Rome. Well, going

31:17

to New York. That's something

31:19

I'd like to do with you one day. I'd like

31:21

to... If we get an opportunity, I've never done that

31:23

before. I want a really good

31:25

cigar and try and do it properly. Of

31:28

course. If you stop gallivanting around

31:30

Europe with Roberts and having a family, I'm sure we can

31:32

find time. Yeah. You

31:36

never live in this now, by the way. And I can't wait till you go

31:38

away with him again. Because this is all going

31:40

to happen again. I'll just never do it again. That's the end

31:42

of it. I can't. As I'm

31:44

explaining it, and you're all looking at me going, oh,

31:46

this is mental. I'm like, yeah, that sounds weird. You're

31:49

right. Don't let us ruin Robert for you. Oh, you're

31:51

going to... He's always going to be a part of

31:53

my life. What? Always going to be

31:55

a part of my life. Yeah. Also,

31:58

I can't go away with him for at least... least two and

32:00

a half years because Laurie be like what the fuck

32:02

because that was like what you know

32:05

it she ever even saw the front yeah

32:09

I think so yeah it would it's a

32:11

nice place for taking your misses yeah definitely

32:14

that's where our mini moon is oh

32:17

and shout out to the guy sorry

32:19

you're doing a mini moon you are mini

32:22

moon what's a mini moon it's like your

32:24

honeymoon's a little one and

32:26

where you doing the main one right

32:29

we're going to the Nissan place like like a four

32:31

days after that I said this last night this cheap

32:34

this cheap wedding that you talked about two and a

32:36

half three years ago we're going Gretna and you're not

32:40

knowing about it is now like fucking international

32:42

travel for three weddings and it was originally

32:44

we just it's trying to be about us

32:46

in a cup bill cheaper than the fucking

32:48

usual I've got a light up down floor

32:50

and thrones redness when I was in the

32:53

castle in fucking Wales this

32:56

card rules exact wedding don't have a

32:58

light up dance floor will tell me

33:00

yesterday he's not wearing a suit for

33:02

this wedding what you

33:05

wearing them are you wearing a

33:07

suit for yours yeah well you know

33:09

all three you know I'm worried the last

33:11

one's party in it so we've been fucking

33:13

party girl black tux

33:16

for Venice and go over the nice fucking call

33:18

for one for Liverpool to

33:22

my office Venice yeah it's black talks because

33:24

that's the theme sure Dan

33:30

can wear what he wants because he's the minister in it you're

33:33

not wearing the suit and I you know on my what

33:35

are you wearing you're

33:38

gonna Taylor's way called question can I have another

33:40

plus one for Robert Venice

33:44

oh my god about him from Robert I'm not

33:46

messing yeah well I or for the first time

33:49

give you my word that if you bring Robert

33:51

the first one is only for Robert 1

34:00

Robert you can buy them You

34:05

never great Fuck

34:07

off Guess

34:11

you're for my people going this is a disgrace you

34:13

shouldn't flick couple. Yeah, that was my fucking France of

34:15

Robert That was his own couple of that was my

34:17

that was my fault because I jokingly was giving you

34:20

stick about and so everyone's like Yeah, you know what

34:22

you right, but she is going to the wedding Yeah

34:27

Explains whatever what you're doing now cuz I don't think we've got a

34:29

calls wedding up there for a while Me

34:32

you so that's those three

34:34

times you're doing this. We're going to Venice

34:38

For just a celebration with our friends

34:40

and dance gonna Mario's not legally obviously

34:42

just a yeah, so Celebrants

34:44

is a little play me you

34:46

stay in down and then Seneca's taking their hair to

34:48

be closest people Just those in

34:50

Venice for the weekend having lovely times.

34:52

Yeah Come home then we're

34:55

having a wedding in the Liverpool for like

34:57

family and obviously the lads you haven't been able to go Then

34:59

we're having a meal after it and then we're

35:01

having and that is that a

35:04

legal way didn't that second one legal? Well,

35:06

the second one is in Liverpool group of us

35:08

both 40 you said yeah, I'm having a big

35:10

meal Yeah, I haven't and then I'm gonna meal

35:12

on tons of muffed up and then just like

35:15

Things just gonna be like yeah, and

35:18

then the third one Johnny

35:20

Bongo say to a big go for us big

35:23

part of the big party Three

35:25

separate days and this is over the span of what

35:27

about four months So

35:32

do I have to plan three stag do's just

35:35

the one one bastard of a stag do please

35:37

just got any ideas I've said look

35:39

I mean cuz he doesn't get a saying it go

35:41

do I get one say one and Steers

35:44

the referee as Adam is the best man even though I'm not

35:46

really having the best man. No wall shit

35:48

That's my rule. Yeah, but he's not gonna do

35:50

wolf shit. Anyway, I know I trust him but

35:52

no wolf shit I know. Hey, you're too big

35:55

I'm the Lonsdale. I just won't wear them. Yeah,

35:58

but he knows that And I'm

36:00

gonna be clever about fucking you over don't

36:02

Davey Asha I I've

36:08

got some plans. It's gonna be fun. You're gonna have

36:10

to do some challenges. That's wool sheet. No, it's not

36:13

You the the challenges I've got in mind are

36:15

not walls Just

36:21

want to go somewhere lovely with people I love I'm

36:24

doing a broad. I mean a boy Feasible

36:27

that people can afford to go we're not like going

36:29

right we're going to Vegas never need 20 grand each

36:31

I'm putting on black There

36:40

isn't anything worse though than a stag do

36:42

that is just a stag do like

36:45

a wall sag do where like

36:47

the the brooms dress like fucking a gimp

36:49

and He's like on a leash

36:52

and always makes me Hey Cuz

36:55

you get my dinner and then they just get

36:57

twatted and they make a show themselves and the

36:59

whole point is embarrassed It's born and it's dead.

37:02

Gimpy every time I see a stag do doing

37:04

stuff like that I'm just glad I'm

37:06

not friends with any of them. Yeah.

37:09

Yeah, it's a bit unimaginative I just

37:11

want like like doing Nashville was but

37:13

without cameras. Yeah, I mean, this

37:15

is sick in it. I'm over here You

37:20

What have you got any geography wise

37:22

have you got any thoughts loose ideas?

37:35

It's not wall going to ask Guatemala,

37:37

oh my god, hey

37:40

listen, I know I'm off the shite, but if we're going to

37:42

Guatemala Nick

37:47

had I go out mate. I'm at the factory outlet.

37:49

I'm at the Cheshire Oaks of cocaine. I Think

37:53

anyway, yeah, I don't want to go there. No, no,

37:56

like so I could book Benadon Yeah, as

37:58

long as it was as long as you make As

38:00

long as you made it good, yes. Yeah,

38:03

no. Exactly. No.

38:06

That's what I'm saying. You'd be gutted if I made it, Benadorm.

38:08

Yeah, I'd get over it though. Yeah, but I don't want you

38:10

to get over it. I want you to be like, this is

38:13

the best time of my life. I don't even need Seneca anymore.

38:17

Fuck, and, Matty, let's just do this three

38:19

more times. I'm living, Benadorm. Anywhere,

38:22

genuinely anywhere. Obviously, it's your idea because it's closer.

38:24

But if you want to go the other way,

38:26

you go to somewhere American or South America. I'm

38:28

game as well. Australia. Go,

38:30

pass. Just leave

38:32

me there. No, Ben. Ben. I'm

38:35

telling you what he says. Obviously,

38:38

we don't want to do any wool shit.

38:40

We're going to Zimbabwe. Let's go. Uncle

38:43

Bobby would love it. I've got some

38:45

ideas. I'm thinking either South America or

38:48

Africa. But we'll see. I

38:50

don't want to have to get shots for

38:52

this stag do. What do you mean? What,

38:54

like, it's fanbucheters? No. You don't want to get your arm

38:56

in? No, you don't. You're just going to be nicking everyone

38:58

else's at you. That happened

39:00

to me last night. Someone might have dropped a

39:02

pint of mine. And that literally

39:05

happened in the wild. And how did it

39:07

feel? Fine. I'm not a windlum bitch. What

39:12

do I mean? Shots, inoculations,

39:14

vaccines. Are

39:17

you anti-vaxxer now? No,

39:19

if I'm going to... You had Robert and Yulia? Oh

39:24

my God. If I've had...

39:29

If you go into malaria-ridden central

39:31

Africa... No, I'm not an anti-vaxxer.

39:33

I'm pro-vaxxed. Exactly. Stick it in

39:35

my... Yellow fever. In my arms.

39:38

Up in my arm. Yeah. Yeah,

39:41

I don't want to have to get injections to go this way. That

39:43

goes like the Congo. No, what?

39:45

Someone bongo. That's

39:47

where they drink it. Oh, yeah. Oh, you knew

39:49

that from there. I've got...

39:51

It's fun, innit? We had a lady, so we

39:54

went to somewhere like, you know, Ghana. Yeah, just

39:56

go to the jungle somewhere. I Know

39:58

we've done this ages ago. Yeah, but like... One

40:01

matures idea was it wasn't. Working

40:03

class that wouldn't listen la call me to

40:05

try reading lane their ways we do things

40:07

for the stories that with. And

40:11

their ways off human trafficking this is

40:13

be hit or va. Joseph Kony know

40:15

you're not putting you know sodomy to

40:17

slavery. That's fucking bullshit. Have

40:23

lived for one who to vote for her know

40:25

things. It's last time I come to the ones

40:27

I. Asked

40:30

them Ross cost the hottest easy Just

40:32

ran across Africa of them. Run across.

40:34

Enjoy! Your mother started. Titled.

40:37

Yeah. He. And. You.

40:39

Can. I

40:42

don't think it was necessarily advise though. Is it

40:44

what was it? I'm sure there is some places

40:46

where it got this is going to com the

40:49

soccer I am so just shut up and just

40:51

the way for you to might cause you're out

40:53

of I do in Africa alone isn't invited to

40:55

the stock the robbers with is the Ff know

40:58

our economic investment only and. Oh

41:07

where was your spot? And. Robbers.

41:10

Out of the still regret it was

41:12

just made. No, But we did Marrakech

41:14

proud. A result that was almost. I

41:16

had met lawyer percent Love love love.

41:20

Way. Which is that? the way we invited.

41:23

We us it was you know

41:25

of is he. Oh,

41:27

he was eight years ago today. My. Wedding my when

41:30

and none of us with the. Opposite.

41:34

Just remembers is it the first? I'm

41:36

a big deal with. No,

41:38

I'm you know, follow the lead. The law

41:40

is like oh, happy Anniversary months! We. Are.

41:43

It's also a birthday like two weeks

41:45

before, so. I

41:48

be overtime oh be more moderate use his

41:50

knee is like because the first ten are

41:52

all thing over and say that robot ours

41:55

is like of fucking. Bomb.

41:57

Fluff also manipulate repairable initially

41:59

bronze. I'm

42:01

already go meet the Is mountains

42:04

so says the modern gift is

42:06

Linda Lovelace. Oh yes

42:08

Lay said she heard some Betsy go for

42:10

office him out some big top brass.be some

42:12

for her Boyfriend points the other we don't

42:14

care about a blessing. new bed sheets Linda

42:16

that love you eight years yeah bosh more

42:18

chasm bed sheets and so on. A sign

42:20

up at night and of of polish my

42:22

breath Saudi he'd say that you don't need

42:24

to me bedsheets later when a foreign power

42:26

going on. At

42:29

the anniversary of yeah we will put the

42:31

kids to bed says. Because

42:34

the box runs on his. When a plumber

42:36

your ass I'll let you in Seneca, have

42:38

an anniversary, Know. You. Don't really up on

42:41

the acres of land that we have a wants us

42:43

gov onset of years ago we have a obvious moves

42:45

or a ways away feeling this moved in together. At

42:48

we think we know the first time that sex and we

42:50

kind the class that day. I

42:52

did you any sort acts. It.

42:57

They don't know when they got. Because

42:59

it was a gradual thing it didn't It is

43:02

also does a buyer personally i don't think

43:04

either vs on a wet and of se a

43:06

real anyway. Which me? Like.

43:08

Couples ago. Oh My. God. Six months since you said will

43:11

you be my guest and that doesn't mean I love as

43:13

he and my ign is. So.

43:15

You think it should be widened? The that's

43:17

that's the only anniversary Have em up any

43:19

all. Night. At the an

43:22

army there's no it's if you will. Accelerate department has

43:24

a away from me about we don't want your money

43:26

that you gonna do what anonymous she's on getting scale

43:28

to present and. So. This year we

43:30

don't see Taylor a year before I went.

43:33

To. The special times.the she'll multi. Class

43:35

could have you got a list that of what

43:37

the each one is yet Sunday what's the science

43:40

one. Paper. Cotton I think

43:42

it is paper paper at so

43:44

as of love the one year

43:46

wedding. Ah yes paper so I'm

43:48

going on. Paper gets in the daily.

43:50

My aim for the second yes

43:52

but third years will either. out

43:55

their forties pay wall to recently

43:57

mercurial fourth is linen and silk

44:00

Fifth is wood, sixth

44:02

is sugar, seventh is woolen.

44:06

Sounds like fucking Victorian trade, doesn't it?

44:08

Oh, apparently that last thing was wrong.

44:11

The eighth is bronze or salt. One's

44:14

cheaper. Give us a Maldon. Oh,

44:16

I love a Maldon salt. Next,

44:19

J, copper. What are we talking? Copper,

44:21

10, tin. What

44:25

was number nine? Copper, copper. You in the business, your

44:27

honor? Hang

44:29

on, it doesn't change every year from this point.

44:31

Does it? Does it go, then after 10, does

44:33

it go, if you got five, 20, doesn't it?

44:35

After 10, it does go a bit more. 15,

44:37

20. Yeah. Crystal, porcelain, silver,

44:39

pearl, pearl. Hang on, silver's 25. Yeah.

44:43

Pearls. What's diamond?

44:45

35's coral. Diamond's 50. Diamond,

44:49

do you believe it or not? Manana and Granada got 60. Did

44:52

he? Yeah, wow. Saying that

44:54

means they got married, they

44:56

were like, oh, you're fit. Should we get married in

44:58

two weeks? Yeah, of course. Great idea. Have you met

45:00

my mom, instantly married? He's not what you did.

45:03

What? He's not what you did with Laura.

45:05

Yeah, I knew straight away. The

45:08

other thing is, we have an anniversary of April

45:10

19th, which is the first day we met and

45:12

smooched and whatnot. And then that's too

45:14

close to May the 1st, and it switched just all

45:16

in and around this thing. I think as you get

45:18

older, I suppose the wedding anniversary is just gonna trump

45:21

it. At 80th is oak, gonna buy them a tree.

45:23

So you've gone from fucking diamond at 60 to... Moonstone

45:26

at 85 or wine. That's

45:30

a cop-out, innit? Wine at 85. Yeah, coming back

45:32

down. 90, granite. It

45:35

takes a lot to get 90 years of marriage,

45:37

don't it? 90 years of anything? That's why it's granite,

45:39

because you're normally under the fucking ground. Well, you could

45:41

make it up. Yeah, 100 is Bitcoin, because

45:44

no one's getting there. Ridiculous.

45:46

How can you, literally, I suppose, if

45:48

modern medicine is gonna do what they

45:50

reckon it's gonna do, this is

45:52

gonna become a thing, innit? Yeah. Yeah, the

45:55

first person who's gonna live for 300, that's

45:57

not only alive, 200. Now it's 300 now. What?

46:00

The energy of the day. That's

46:02

how fast it's gonna get. Like it

46:04

was 200 a couple of years ago. Eel, eel diet 200

46:06

still. But like there was some kid born this weekend and

46:08

that and he's gonna be 300. They've

46:11

just got it about him. He's like, look at you. Longevity,

46:13

I can see it in. Well

46:15

obviously they get it by a bus. Well. That's,

46:18

uh... His

46:20

natural lifetime would be 300 because of

46:22

medicine. You can't account for buses. If

46:24

you get hit by buses, Daddy's gonna

46:26

affect it. Yeah. People who

46:28

wanna live to 300, you need to avoid

46:30

getting hit by a bus. That's good

46:32

advice. Yeah. It's mad

46:34

that's all. So Jack is now three years

46:37

old. How

46:39

old is he gonna live to? What?

46:44

85? I don't

46:46

think he's gonna live to 300. Carl,

46:48

you know it's not... They're not

46:50

talking about one magical child. That

46:53

is like... You think the entire generation just born to

46:55

live to 300. So it says... No, but of course

46:57

the average age... For anyone to be able to live

46:59

to 300, which now

47:01

is impossible, what they're saying is

47:03

that life expectancy is gonna increase

47:05

so much. That 300 year old will be

47:07

an outlier. Also I think it's 200, but... That

47:10

one will be an outlier, but the whole

47:13

life expectancy average will

47:16

be mental. Like, inconceivable. So

47:18

how old is... What... Average wise, I think Jack's

47:20

11, 85. The old

47:22

one has to say... That's two years older

47:24

than like the fucking... Yeah, but it's... He's

47:26

not far off. It's saying today, if a

47:29

baby's born, they're 89 and a half for

47:31

a boy and 92 for a girl. And

47:33

he wasn't born today. And that's 10 years

47:35

more than when I was like... Yeah. Yeah.

47:38

The average age expectancy is like 78 for a guy.

47:42

So where's 300 coming from? That's got to be

47:44

a whole shit. It's an outlier, it's just a pick. No, no, hang on. If

47:47

an average is 85... That's

47:50

mental. No, but I think they've just picked

47:52

a kid and they're just gonna like... Like,

47:54

spend. Oh, right. They're giving them like loads

47:56

of vitamins. Oh, right. Loads of

47:58

vitamins. No one's ever thought to do that. before

48:00

just seeing if it works you're not allowed

48:02

anywhere near a bus have these vitamins can

48:06

i go the match are you fucking mad on a

48:08

bus route i

48:11

think they're just experimenting on this one kid

48:13

and seeing what happens yeah i love it

48:15

how you're taking in this information mangled it

48:18

up and gone this is what i think

48:20

that means he's a fucking spaceman 300 mad

48:22

is it like they're giving him palaceses and

48:24

even when he hasn't got a headache in

48:26

there oh just stop it covered yeah the

48:28

venture's resting in cure Dan if you're

48:30

listening to this i'm gonna say i do not i've

48:33

got liver failure had him lied to me i said that's every month

48:35

once when i was a kid i was pretending

48:37

to be sick for school and

48:39

then i went yeah it's really really bad that day

48:42

you can just feel very bad right

48:44

okay since i get you get you

48:46

some uh my mum's in there she's stupid and

48:49

i went by the way do

48:52

you know if you take like tablets and that

48:54

and you're having you know like second what

48:57

happens not on a dapper totally

49:03

separate issue mum by

49:05

the way could you get a day off

49:09

mum uh me yeah my mum was say she's

49:11

in there so she loves cheaper but she's also

49:13

a single parent so she just wanted to keep

49:15

me happy oh so tense it's like the opening

49:17

scene of inglorious bastards trying to get a fucking

49:19

day off from my mum she was just so

49:21

good at being like you you're under pressure you

49:23

were like i fucked it never

49:25

you had a day off and you were like you're like jews

49:27

underneath the floorboard yeah that's what you want

49:29

to say also you can play with them it's

49:32

not literally exactly the same no i was good

49:34

i thought i was good i think i used

49:36

to run the top really low and get my

49:38

mouth full of water and then go yeah

49:40

and then throw it into the toilet and

49:42

like from i'd locked the bathroom door so she'd just think

49:44

i was throwing up yeah my

49:47

mum would want to see bits she'd be like

49:49

don't flush it and i've sprayed her breeze so

49:51

doesn't stink and i've brushed my teeth what are

49:53

you working on yeah can you pad out what

49:55

was she just a she's

49:57

a lady she She

50:00

just took no shit. I had to be truly

50:03

ill. Like, do you remember

50:05

as a kid when you wanted to be off

50:07

and you're like, I don't wanna go, never got

50:09

one. The days when

50:11

you're ill, you'd rather go to school because

50:13

you actually feel shit. You know when you'd

50:15

be like, this feels horrible. I'd

50:18

rather not be like this. That was the only time

50:20

when I was like properly ill and

50:22

then she'd take me around to my grands. Who treated

50:24

me like a little prince. Yeah, like when she goes

50:26

to work, I put El Nombre on, flying me. You

50:28

must have wanted to stay off all the time because

50:30

your best friend was in his like 30s, really. You know, I

50:32

wanted to stay off so I could play with Robert. He's

50:37

off work. Robert's

50:40

on annual work. He's already retired. Oh!

50:46

Name and assistant, Arby Jones. I'm so glad he

50:48

doesn't know how to use the internet. But

50:52

he knows a lot of people who do, so

50:54

Robert, I hope you've enjoyed this episode. Thank you

50:57

very much. I'll

50:59

see you in Peru. Call

51:02

stag. Machu

51:05

Picchu with the fellas. Fuck

51:07

a Machu Picchu with the boys. That'd be

51:09

heavy. And then everyone can wear like a

51:12

polo shirt with a nickname on. Fucking

51:15

shagga, bagga, dagger. What would your,

51:18

could stop there. Mick Jagger. What

51:20

would yours be? What? Bullet.

51:23

Bullet. Moomin. One

51:27

outfit. I wanna wear my clothes. Adam's

51:30

like, I put this dressing on. No wool shit.

51:32

No, I'm gonna dress you. You're not. I am,

51:34

it's just not gonna be wool shit. You

51:37

should've made me some nice clothes. Wool shit. It's

51:39

not gonna be wool shit. I know the line, but you

51:42

are wearing them when I tell you to wear them. That's

51:44

wool though. It isn't? You telling me what to wear

51:46

this? Wool? Are I packed with a suitcase? Oh, look

51:48

at that, it's empty. I'm

51:50

not gonna do that. Let's go home. I'm

51:54

not going to Machu Picchu with no clothes, Adam. Welcome

51:56

to Machu Picchu, what you here for? Don't worry about

51:59

that, he's fucked off. in a mood. Won't

52:01

wear a fucking Everton goalkeeping outfit.

52:03

Good God. Outfit? Outfit. What do

52:05

you call it? Kit-naaah. I've

52:07

seen the new Liverpool outfits. Oh,

52:12

the away outfit, lovely.

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warbyparker.com/covered. I've

53:23

made a commitment to

53:25

myself. Ooh. I've

53:32

decided. I ready. I've accepted that I

53:34

like a pint, right? Bit

53:37

of a pint-man. But

53:39

what I've decided needs to

53:41

stop is the hangover

53:43

days. You know when

53:46

you just have a day where you're just in the fucking mud.

53:48

So after we went out Friday and Saturday I

53:51

woke up and me

53:53

and Jack just did fuck all

53:55

all day. Because we were looking at each

53:57

other going, it's not worth this, is it?

53:59

It's not. But I think it's

54:01

like a self-fulfilling prophecy and

54:04

I'm gonna start not doing that So I

54:06

if I go out and get drunk special

54:08

occasions at this ends weddings all three old

54:10

weddings seven wedding After

54:12

the arena, I mean, I won't be wallowing all day then anyway,

54:15

cuz I'm gonna go and watch clubs last game But

54:17

like Yergin. Yeah, yeah And

54:21

that was so funny, I've

54:24

just no days off no more days

54:27

off From the grind

54:30

No Yeah,

54:32

I can't if I want to But

54:35

if I get up the next day and I'm hungover

54:37

get a wall grow up get up get out go

54:39

for a walk go for The run get the gym

54:41

get some shit done send some emails, you know, send

54:44

some invoices pay some invoices Wow Do

54:47

why I found to get me shit together

54:50

Some posters sign some posters. No

54:53

too much Was the thing that tips you yesterday

54:55

was a good level of piss for you by the end of

54:57

the night I was more pissed that

54:59

I seemed to think all right, and

55:02

because I sent some text messages on the way on there I

55:04

don't remember Yeah,

55:12

it was a it was a good level of piss it

55:14

was I was a really good boy and Sunday

55:16

night I went out I went out

55:18

for dinner and then some drinks and

55:20

that was really fun. That was a good night And

55:24

I was good level of piss then as well. I also

55:26

just I do need to stop doing that black house drunk

55:29

3 a.m. Shite, but what no more

55:31

days off is to think I can

55:33

get pissed of the ones, you know, I'm

55:35

a young man So

55:39

what you're saying is you've got hang on I

55:41

can't Are you getting are you

55:43

gonna drink more to do more admin? It's I

55:45

can't quite I haven't totally glass what you I Can

55:51

understand now you've missing I

55:54

Cannot do admin. I need to be

55:57

more humble. No what I'm saying is

56:00

I often use a hangover as an excuse to do nothing all

56:02

day. I'm getting on, I'm not going to

56:04

do that. I'm not going for the run. I'm hungover. No

56:06

more of that. If I'm going to go

56:09

out on the piss, I've got to accept that life

56:11

goes on. The sun is still going to be up

56:13

in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. So essentially what we're saying

56:15

is to punish yourself for drinking. You're going to have

56:17

an activity day the next day. That's

56:19

it, Adam. You're puked twice. We're going

56:22

abseilid. I'm

56:24

going to fucking volunteer

56:26

in a charity shop. Classic hungover,

56:29

Adam. What? I'm just going

56:31

to get me shit done no matter what. Right.

56:33

Nice. Yeah, I know. That's a good

56:35

commitment. Why are you shitting all over? You always shit

56:37

on my dream, you know. He dreams

56:39

he always walks in pale invoices. That

56:43

bit's a lie. I see. I've only dreams about them pale

56:45

invoices. That bit's not

56:47

true. But no, I like it.

56:49

Yeah. You don't, I don't want you to

56:51

give up drinking. So you're not going to give up drinking? You're

56:53

a great pint. But you're saying... I'm a really good pint, actually.

56:55

I think it's one of the things I'm best at. I

56:59

never heard anyone argue with that. I'm a good pinter.

57:01

Being like four or five pints in, I'm on a

57:03

vibe. When are you having... Problem is with no days

57:05

off, when are you having a day off? Genuinely,

57:08

like, are you having a day off? Sometimes I'll have a day

57:10

off. Right. Day off drinking. But

57:13

you'd have to have a night off drinking

57:15

the night before because if you're hungover, then

57:17

you are not allowed a day off. No, no. Unless

57:20

you cut one of his 14 pints. If

57:22

it's a pre-planned day off, where I go

57:24

Tuesday, I can have a day off. But

57:26

I'm not getting up. Like, today,

57:28

if we went during the podcast, normally I'd have got up

57:31

and say to me, like, I'm going to go work, we're

57:33

on the couch, I'm going to tell you, I'm going to

57:35

scroll on my phone, and I go to the shop, make

57:37

a bit of food, and that'd be the whole day. No

57:39

invoices, no abseiling. Absolutely. From now on, it's all abseiling and

57:41

invoices from here, baby. Have you seen Adam today? Adam's been

57:44

abseiling all over the lobby. Get

57:46

down. Stop

57:49

paying invoices for folks' sake. Don't have your phone.

57:52

This wasn't even you. The

57:55

invoice. No. D-U-E.

57:58

D-U-E. You showed that

58:00

to me but I've been serious You

58:02

think I'm really pissed over

58:04

the gym? I

58:10

don't feel like I'm a joke anyway That's your

58:12

accounting for you Wish

58:16

to wear You

58:19

alright? Yep I'm hungover

58:22

We're gonna do that No days off No This

58:25

is why I'm in, mate This is why I'm in And

58:27

I went for a souvlaki Careful

58:31

Yeah? Careful? She's doing my washing Did

58:33

you say careful or purple? I

58:36

said careful I think he said peche-y Wash

58:38

these Careful souvlaki Yeah I went to him

58:40

for a souvlaki But they don't do good

58:42

chips at the souvlaki So I

58:45

said no chips And then went

58:47

next door To

58:49

get chips from another gaff That's high

58:51

end I'll hangover that Waste him

58:53

and then The fuck is souvlaki? Souvlaki Greece,

58:55

I'll tell you right now Been to Greece

58:58

a couple of times Souvlaki's a type of

59:00

Greek kebab The chicken and the chickens of

59:02

laki It's the style

59:04

of shredding it Right And I'll tell you

59:07

this right now Okay? I'll

59:09

tell you this right now You fucking

59:11

quote me on this Oh, there's another invoice

59:13

there Brilliant The

59:17

Greeks have got a lot right They've got

59:19

a lot right Their food

59:21

is incredible Really good

59:23

food Medecine style food is one of

59:25

my favourite cuisines Right? It's

59:27

dead off They've done well with the sun over there Right? Really

59:30

good Economy's poo That's

59:32

like 45 quid That's

59:35

not the point The whole place

59:37

is like centre box Men are handsome Women

59:39

are beautiful They cannot do

59:41

chips I'm telling you right now The Greeks

59:43

can't do chips They

59:45

don't know what to do with a spud, mate I'm telling you

59:47

right now There needs to be an

59:49

Irish invasion Of Greece or like

59:52

Some sort of governmental programme Where the

59:55

Irish go over And teach them about spuds Because they

59:57

haven't got a fucking clue What to do with a

59:59

potato, mate Yeah, you don't want to do it. The

1:00:01

Greeks are shite with spuds. Are the Irish

1:00:04

good at potatoes? I

1:00:06

mean, isn't it the French that know how to

1:00:08

do fries? No, the French fries originated in America.

1:00:11

The American? Whoa. Yeah.

1:00:13

What are you saying? I think the... Like, Americans, we've

1:00:15

got loads of places and then someone cut them very

1:00:18

thin and they're like, ooh, they're a bit French, I

1:00:20

don't think. Oh, it was a slur. Yeah,

1:00:23

it was Robin. Ooh! Bon-fon-jour.

1:00:26

God, these are tasty. You've done well

1:00:28

there. I thought we were back

1:00:30

to the self-defense. They were all fun. Yeah. I

1:00:32

think French fries were like basically gay chips.

1:00:36

I think that's what people call them. Look at you, you're

1:00:38

a little gay chip, you Frenchman. But then everyone liked them

1:00:40

and like, oh, do you know what, that's our class though.

1:00:42

Right. I like it. I know what that is actually. And

1:00:44

that's the end of my homophobia. Because these are lovely. Maybe

1:00:46

I'll try a dick. Again,

1:00:49

it's in the trailer. The

1:00:55

French dip originated in California as well.

1:00:58

Like the beef dip, French beef

1:01:01

dip. Bon-fon-jour. That originated

1:01:03

in Cali. French

1:01:05

have done fuck all, mate. Except

1:01:07

from runaway and stink. It's

1:01:12

all you do, innit? Run away.

1:01:14

You're fat and run. Run away from fight

1:01:16

and stink. But then... Oh, you're doing the

1:01:18

surrender cliché, but you've turned it into run

1:01:20

away. Where are the French? I don't know.

1:01:23

In Spain, they ran away. The

1:01:26

Germans are knocking about the whole of North France.

1:01:28

They're fucking French and fucked up. Run away. But

1:01:30

they're not home. Do you know also they were

1:01:32

riot dumpies? They can do that properly. Yeah. They're

1:01:34

a place for them for that. Yeah. If they

1:01:36

don't like something, they... Woo! Oh, the Parisians. The

1:01:38

farmers are my favorite. You put up

1:01:40

the price of fuel and they're like,

1:01:42

fuck, they get the gi-tan out of them. They're

1:01:44

like, let's get the checktives. We're going to Paris.

1:01:47

And they just block every street. Yeah, you know,

1:01:49

don't fuck with French farmers. I

1:01:51

don't. Yeah. Big fan increase. But

1:01:53

they can't do sports. Yeah.

1:01:56

I... Where have I been? It's Cyprus.

1:01:59

Cyprus is half Greek. half

1:02:01

Turkish innit? Cypriot I think

1:02:03

it's more Greek isn't it? Is it? There is

1:02:05

a Turkish though It's like Wales No

1:02:07

one really gives a shit but it is there

1:02:09

Oh is it? It's Cyprus is going to... is

1:02:11

it? Huh? I've

1:02:14

got peated Andre haven't I? It's a principality You've

1:02:17

got peated Andre? He's Cypriot Is he?

1:02:20

He's Greek Cypriot No he is I

1:02:24

just had a beer Ohh

1:02:28

He's a great French farmer Ohh

1:02:30

the guns rather than they were

1:02:32

tricks Do they have a tier

1:02:34

list then? Pass me a gay chip Yeah do you want

1:02:36

to? Hunt to your tier

1:02:38

list? Yeah Have you got a... have you

1:02:41

got a giónl? Errr do you

1:02:43

know what? We're out here doing the giónl

1:02:46

Giónl Well

1:02:49

it was on that one Ohh the old tier list Tier

1:02:53

list Wow

1:02:58

that was so... That was so by

1:03:00

accident That's it? Yeah

1:03:03

that'll be done Er

1:03:05

right Hmm? We got

1:03:08

the comments last week We did superheroes

1:03:10

and we didn't really know You

1:03:12

all got peated you little maggots So

1:03:14

we're going to do something that we

1:03:16

know stuff about LGBTQ plus rights How

1:03:19

are you? All gods here All gods here There

1:03:22

you go Next tier list I don't

1:03:24

think the queers deserve gods here there

1:03:27

Bad They don't because they can't make a mind up They

1:03:30

don't know what's going on do they? They're like I don't know whether they

1:03:32

want a cock or a pussy They just know I'm a bit weird That's

1:03:34

what being queers is Can you call them the queers?

1:03:37

They are queers That's what

1:03:39

they call themselves I suppose they're

1:03:41

only queers You're specifically talking

1:03:43

about the queues in the LGBTQ there

1:03:45

Yeah When you say I'm

1:03:48

not lumping them all together Yeah yeah yeah because

1:03:50

I'm just talking about specific self identifying queers Hmm

1:03:55

You got this one So sitcom

1:03:58

characters The gays have made

1:04:00

the mind of how could it possibly be talking about

1:04:02

them? Gays know what they want, cock, lesbians know what

1:04:04

they want, pussy Trans people know what

1:04:07

they want, a cock for themselves Or a pussy

1:04:09

So put in a cock or a pussy Are

1:04:12

you mufdiving? What? You're talking about mufdives But

1:04:14

the queers are just round fucking nosy Fluff,

1:04:16

ouch It's just

1:04:18

like, I like the chips That's queers

1:04:21

Literally what it is I don't know what I want but I want

1:04:23

this after you like that Someone's taking down the... A cue point! Take

1:04:26

down the cues I'm not saying they

1:04:29

don't say respect and safety And to be

1:04:31

treated as humans because they do They

1:04:33

absolutely do What I'm saying is It's

1:04:36

not as big of a deal as the rest

1:04:38

of them They're the least

1:04:40

favourite of the... Yeah, and

1:04:42

there's no problem with it You know why it

1:04:44

made me tense is because, you know, queer is...

1:04:46

Yeah, it's a derogatory term for people But I

1:04:48

wasn't using it that way No, you weren't I'm

1:04:50

using it the right way Let's clarify I'm talking

1:04:52

about the queers Not like queers LGBTVAR

1:04:57

Yeah Play on Play

1:05:00

on I know where the line is And I'm right on it That's

1:05:02

a pink card Sitcom

1:05:05

characters In the suite Not

1:05:08

queers We're gonna rank them What was it... What

1:05:10

was everyone fuming about superheroes? I mean, some people...

1:05:13

Because we didn't really know we were talking about

1:05:15

them No one cares And

1:05:17

we put Spiderman like down in like... Right

1:05:20

Also, if you haven't watched the thing

1:05:22

And you don't know it, Adam It's...

1:05:25

I think maybe people who

1:05:27

have watched it rank it Yes Is that

1:05:30

fair? I agree Because it's all... If you've not watched it,

1:05:32

there's a few of these... I know it's a game of

1:05:34

opinions But if you haven't watched it, you can't be like,

1:05:36

nah, I don't know Shite This isn't all

1:05:38

that we do It's just... This isn't also the 20

1:05:40

best This is just 20 characters

1:05:43

Yeah, that's what people are getting confused about We're

1:05:45

not saying these are the top 20 There is

1:05:47

people who aren't in these tier lists who would

1:05:49

be high ranked on it We've saved them for

1:05:51

you Can't just have high ranking ones Because then

1:05:53

we put everyone at the top Yeah, we've saved

1:05:55

some characters that you'll be going, where's this person

1:05:57

for a future list? Stop having a go finish

1:06:00

drying. So sitcom characters

1:06:02

the first one we have here

1:06:04

is Ross Geller from Friends. He's

1:06:07

just sound. He's contentious now as well

1:06:09

isn't he? Yeah because he's a fucking

1:06:11

gaslighting. Yeah he's a bad boyfriend but

1:06:14

he is funny. But he is funny.

1:06:16

That's him when he was a little

1:06:19

ooooooooh. That's one of the best games ever. And his

1:06:21

face when Joey pushes him into the food. I

1:06:24

could draw that from them. When he gets to spraytown

1:06:26

on one side that is one of the funniest bits.

1:06:28

When he gets it all over? Doesn't

1:06:31

he? When he gets it on one side. That's the joke

1:06:33

isn't it? He tells him to turn it off. Oh he's

1:06:35

fair of course yeah. Yeah. He gets it all over? On

1:06:37

an episode that'll be. Ross has got a ton. He's just

1:06:39

yeah. He's done that really well. He is

1:06:41

a boss. It's so funny. I think he's

1:06:44

better than sound you know. I think Ross

1:06:46

Geller is... I think like... I

1:06:49

think he's boss. I think he's boss. There's

1:06:52

moments where we love him. Yeah.

1:06:55

I don't think he's sound. No I suppose

1:06:57

not. Rachel sound. So

1:07:02

we're going... it's the low end of boss isn't it? Yeah. Right okay.

1:07:05

We're sticking him in there. There's many

1:07:07

funnier moments with Ross. The next one

1:07:09

is Phil Bumphrey from Modern Family. Never

1:07:11

seen it. I've watched a lot of it

1:07:14

but I haven't watched all of it. He's boss life. He's

1:07:17

the best. He's the silliest character in it.

1:07:19

He's the best character. Who wrote Modern

1:07:22

Family? Was

1:07:24

it something to do with Friends? I

1:07:26

don't think so. Because the

1:07:28

writing is absolutely unreal. Yeah

1:07:31

the first few seasons of Modern Family. The

1:07:34

writing of Friends isn't absolutely unreal is it?

1:07:36

It's... If

1:07:39

you think about Colin Blogg on by the way Friends is

1:07:41

shit. Cool. Like it's changed over the years

1:07:43

and people don't like it as well. But no one cares

1:07:45

that you think it's shit. It's the people who worked on

1:07:47

Frasier. Frasier that's it.

1:07:50

Yeah. Christopher Lloyd and Steven Levitan. Yeah.

1:07:53

So are we going Phil Bumphrey? I don't think there's

1:07:55

much debate here. We're going Boss. Yeah he is Boss.

1:07:57

Right okay. Next one. I'm

1:08:00

not going to put them in God's here, but

1:08:02

I don't love the programme enough to do that.

1:08:04

So fair enough. We've got a few absolute belts

1:08:06

coming up. This next one, Moira Rose from Shitt's

1:08:08

Creek. I think she's fucking boss as well. Shitt's

1:08:11

Creek, have you seen it? Of course. Yeah,

1:08:13

Shitt's Creek. I'm actually going to start watching

1:08:15

that again tonight. Folding the cheese. Is it

1:08:17

cheese? Folding the cheese. It's... Have

1:08:20

you seen Shitt's Creek? Yeah. It is. Oh,

1:08:23

I nearly cried at the end of

1:08:25

it. I haven't finished it. It's all

1:08:27

live. It is so well ended. It

1:08:29

is so well rounded. It is... And

1:08:32

the first season, all

1:08:34

the characters are noir. And then

1:08:36

they don't really change the characters, but you love

1:08:38

them for why they originally ano-yered you. And

1:08:41

she's the perfect one of them. She's the

1:08:43

best character of them all. No. Don't

1:08:45

you reckon? No, the best ones. Daniel Levy's character.

1:08:47

What's his name? David? No. No.

1:08:50

Oh, David? David, yeah. Do

1:08:52

you reckon, yeah? Yeah, he's... Oh, I think it's Moira. She's

1:08:55

my favourite. I think she's... I

1:08:58

think there's a strong argument. She's God-tea,

1:09:00

you know? God-tea? I think... I think...

1:09:02

Either that or she's like the top

1:09:05

end of boss. I think

1:09:07

it might be three in a row for boss for me. I

1:09:09

mean, I think she's... What's everyone else's thoughts? I think there's... I

1:09:11

love it. I think she's great. I

1:09:14

don't think we should give God-tea away that

1:09:16

easily. She's brilliant in everything. Have you seen

1:09:18

Orange County? No. Which is a film with

1:09:21

Tom Hanks' son. I think it's like

1:09:23

20 years old and she plays... The Rasta one.

1:09:25

She plays a drunk mum. The Rasta son. The

1:09:27

what? Oh, no. He's the one

1:09:29

that looks like a young Tom Hanks. Oh, right, OK.

1:09:33

And she's in that and she's fucking brilliant

1:09:35

in that and she's superb in Home Alone.

1:09:37

But she's... Home Alone, yeah. Right, let's go

1:09:39

for boss then. We're going for boss. Right,

1:09:42

next one. David! Gonna be a bit contentious.

1:09:44

Is Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory? Meh.

1:09:46

Or Shite, if you want to... Sorry, it's

1:09:48

Shite. No, the programme's Shite, but he's the

1:09:50

best character, don't he? The

1:09:53

programme is Shite. Yeah, he's not wrong, man.

1:09:56

It's Shite. But it's... He's

1:09:59

a... He's a good character in it.

1:10:01

He's just autistic, though, isn't he? That's the whole thing,

1:10:03

is, look at this fellow with autism. That's it. Doesn't

1:10:07

fuck his bird. But

1:10:09

he is... He is

1:10:11

not shy. So he's meh, and

1:10:13

he might be the very low end of sound, cos

1:10:15

he's the only redeeming thing of that whole show. And

1:10:19

Penny's tits. Oh, my God, she's

1:10:21

not me. I'm not putting them above meh. No way.

1:10:24

What do you think? I

1:10:26

don't... It's hard cos I don't love the

1:10:28

show. I've watched it

1:10:31

because, you know, back in the day, it was just on. It

1:10:33

felt like it was on E4 or

1:10:36

E4 Plus One, permanently. Yeah, yeah. And

1:10:39

actually, when you sort of just watch it on a side, I'm

1:10:41

like, yeah, it's kind of funny. There's

1:10:43

some funny lines. But it's that caricature

1:10:45

sitcom, isn't it, where

1:10:48

you're like, there's no realism to it. No, it's

1:10:50

the figure next door. It's not

1:10:53

meh. I think he's

1:10:55

shy, but he's only got meh. OK, right. He's

1:10:58

got Jim Royal from the Royal Family. Where's

1:11:02

he going, then? It's one of the top two on it.

1:11:04

It's his one of them. It's his one of

1:11:07

them, mate. But I'm

1:11:09

not the biggest Royal Family fan. I enjoyed it.

1:11:12

But it does... There's other sitcoms that I've enjoyed a lot

1:11:14

more. He's the realest character on that list. Yes.

1:11:18

There's no character show to him. He

1:11:20

is just a scouse dad, isn't it? A

1:11:22

fat scouse dad. A

1:11:25

fat scouse dad just watching the telly. He's got to go

1:11:27

and God's here. He's got to go and

1:11:29

God's here. And it's also

1:11:31

me mum's cousin. Have you been on holiday

1:11:33

with him? I think you'd love it. Go

1:11:36

on to Nick and I. You're

1:11:38

up to two votes for God's here. Jim

1:11:41

Royal is God, Tia. I've not

1:11:43

watched enough of this to comment. I only watched the

1:11:45

Christmas back of the team. It is very good. It

1:11:48

was lovely. It was lovely.

1:11:52

It was so much. So

1:12:00

well written, real stuff.

1:12:02

It's Carolina Hearn. Yeah. It's

1:12:04

real shit. God's here. Put him in then.

1:12:06

Yes. He's got to. Right. Now

1:12:08

this should be quick and we don't need to

1:12:10

talk about it. God's here. God's here. Mrs. Brown

1:12:13

from Mrs. Brown's Boys. Unbelievable. Can we please just

1:12:15

put it in the mod? Like straight away. So

1:12:17

I've never really watched Mrs. Brown's Boys. Okay. I

1:12:19

can act it out for you if you want

1:12:21

to. But is it everyone hates it

1:12:23

because everyone hates it or is it really that bad?

1:12:27

Everyone hates it because everyone loves it

1:12:29

because stupid people love it because it's

1:12:31

shite and it's easy. It's

1:12:34

comedy for the stupidest

1:12:36

people and there's so many of them that

1:12:39

it's a really popular show. You've never watched

1:12:41

extras have you? No. There's a

1:12:44

mock sitcom in extras

1:12:46

that Ricky Gervais's character is in that is

1:12:48

so similar to Mrs. Brown's Boys. Right. And

1:12:51

that was years before. He had a script

1:12:53

idea and it was really interesting

1:12:55

because in extras they just Ricky

1:12:57

Gervais played out how producers at

1:12:59

TV stations like the BBC take

1:13:01

your script and fuck it up

1:13:03

gradually. And then it works and

1:13:05

he hates that it works and

1:13:07

he's got a catchphrase. Oh

1:13:10

yeah. What is this catchphrase? Oh it's wild. While

1:13:12

the whistle blows is the name of the sitcom in it. Oh.

1:13:16

Are you having a laugh? Are you having a laugh? You're

1:13:18

having a laugh. And he just plays it out so

1:13:20

painfully. In studio

1:13:22

like with catchphrases

1:13:25

that really old fashioned sitcom and

1:13:27

Mrs. Brown's Boys is massively popular

1:13:29

partly because it's gone. Hey do

1:13:31

you remember how it used to

1:13:33

be like in a studio and there's

1:13:35

gags where you understood the gags. Nothing wrong with that is

1:13:37

there. And that's what we do. And that's why there's a

1:13:39

lot of people and some of them are older and yes

1:13:42

like it's easy to go out there just idiots. But I

1:13:44

think a lot of them are like oh it's just that's

1:13:46

the comedy that I like and that's how it used to

1:13:48

be. It's broad. Very broad. Like that is a bit. I

1:13:50

haven't watched enough of it to be able to tell you

1:13:52

whether this is a definite scene. But this is the type

1:13:54

of thing that they would do. Is

1:13:57

Son will come in and go mommy where's me pants.

1:13:59

And she'll go. are upstairs on the side

1:14:01

and then he'll go upstairs and come down

1:14:03

with a pants on and she'll be like

1:14:05

Jesus, don't you see my pants? And everyone

1:14:07

that. Who hurt my

1:14:10

pants? Right. That's it.

1:14:12

Just like the lowest. For both for hours. I'm not

1:14:14

wrong now am I? No. I

1:14:17

can't call it a check because I've washed up

1:14:20

on a note. But it's so

1:14:22

popular. When I did a TV warm up

1:14:24

for Pappy's Fun Club you could

1:14:26

only get tickets for the in

1:14:28

studio recording of Mrs. Brown's Boys.

1:14:30

If you also took tickets for something

1:14:33

else that was being recorded you had to attend

1:14:35

otherwise you got your Mrs. Brown's Boys tickets taken

1:14:37

off you. Which is

1:14:39

BBC Scotland going we've got to fill

1:14:41

the studio we've got a studio audience

1:14:43

we need. So they basically so popular

1:14:45

with Mrs. Brown's Boys they used it

1:14:47

as leverage so to like you

1:14:49

had to go and do TV warm up to people who were

1:14:51

like we are only here so that

1:14:54

we get Mrs. Brown's Boys tickets. It was the

1:14:56

weirdest energy because it's a very specific type of

1:14:58

comedy fan. By the way I'm looking down the

1:15:00

rest of the people you've got on this list

1:15:02

and God, Tegan and Boss are gonna get very

1:15:04

fucking busy man. It's getting there. Right. The next

1:15:06

one. I'm not sure how many of you have

1:15:08

seen this one. This

1:15:10

is Frank Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

1:15:13

I've seen a few seasons of it and Wish

1:15:15

I'd carried on and maybe. So I've

1:15:17

only started watching it at the start of

1:15:19

this year and there's 16 seasons or 15

1:15:22

seasons. You've done a lot. I watched

1:15:24

them all. And it's world class isn't it? It's

1:15:27

so funny. It's so up our street

1:15:29

in terms of comedy. Where

1:15:32

are you trying to put him? I'd

1:15:34

say Boss personally. Okay. He's

1:15:37

he's. What's the story with Danny? You were telling me about

1:15:39

it. On the first season they were struggling. The

1:15:42

first season they made their pilot very

1:15:44

like guerrilla style. It was then out of work

1:15:46

and they were like we've got to make our

1:15:48

way. We've got to make our own stuff. Otherwise

1:15:50

we're never gonna get cast in anything. So

1:15:52

Charlie Day, Rob McElhenney

1:15:55

and Dennis,

1:15:57

Glenn Hallerton wrote.

1:16:00

this sitcom, took it to FX,

1:16:02

they got the first season made, it is

1:16:04

very, very kind of, the camera

1:16:07

work isn't great, it's very rough around the edges

1:16:10

and they were going to be cancelled. It's like

1:16:12

the first Ghost Uns. Yeah,

1:16:14

they were going to be cancelled.

1:16:16

But then we got Danny DeVito

1:16:18

over the second one. The

1:16:20

head of the station went, you need a

1:16:22

star and he was friends with

1:16:25

Danny DeVito, pitched it to Danny DeVito and

1:16:27

luckily his kids loved It's Always Sunny. They

1:16:29

just got into it early and from then

1:16:31

on, it really took off. He came in,

1:16:33

he's one of those characters, there's lists a

1:16:35

lot of the time, the best characters

1:16:37

that have come in after season one, they

1:16:39

have changed it and he is right up

1:16:41

there. I think yeah, I want to watch

1:16:43

it again and love it. I'd

1:16:45

recommend it to any of our, it's hard to

1:16:47

watch stuff again though, isn't it? There's so much

1:16:49

stuff. Yeah.

1:16:53

Now, I remember like 20 years ago, I used

1:16:55

to have a family guy on DVD and

1:16:57

I'd watch it over and over. Now,

1:17:00

like, I'd love to go back,

1:17:02

I've tried to go back and watch all of Curb

1:17:04

Your Enthusiasm. I've sort of checked out because there's so

1:17:06

much stuff to watch. The

1:17:08

next one is Barney Stinson from How I Met

1:17:10

Your Mother. I'm

1:17:13

out here because I've never watched it. I also don't,

1:17:15

I can't comment, I've seen the other. You guys like

1:17:17

it though. No, I know. So I've watched a

1:17:20

little bit more than you two, not more than him. And

1:17:24

I think he's just a bit of a triad character who

1:17:26

I put him down. I think you're so wrong. I think

1:17:28

he, like, I would make a strong argument to put him

1:17:30

in God's here, but like, if no one else is going

1:17:32

to put him in there, then he goes in. No, I

1:17:34

haven't seen it. So you could argue to me why he's

1:17:36

God to you. So he is such a complex character. Maybe

1:17:39

I haven't seen enough, but I, like, you just

1:17:41

haven't, like, by the by the latter series, when

1:17:43

you realize why he is the way he is

1:17:45

and what the whole, like,

1:17:47

it's 10 seasons or

1:17:50

nine seasons of, he's the

1:17:52

main character of How I Met Your Mother really. He's

1:17:54

an absolute shagger. Like, I've seen so many

1:17:57

clips. Sorry. Oh yeah. But maybe there's reasons

1:17:59

for it. and it looks

1:18:01

at his whole childhood and you get a full,

1:18:03

he's the most fully painted picture of a character

1:18:05

that I've seen in any sitcom. He-

1:18:09

I love him. All the clips I've seen of

1:18:11

it, it's less Joey, who's just gorgeous and is

1:18:13

just confident. More like, what's that book, is it

1:18:15

the game? Yeah, that's what he is. Yeah,

1:18:17

he does have to play women, yeah. He literally, he's

1:18:19

got a book called The Playbook and it's plays he

1:18:21

does on women, to make them go

1:18:25

home with them. I

1:18:29

just think, I mean, I haven't seen enough, so I put him in town.

1:18:31

To me, he's like Peter Griffin. He's just

1:18:33

like a- Peter Griffin, if he was on this list, would be

1:18:36

in God's ear and it wouldn't even be a debate. Try out

1:18:38

the version of Homer Simpson, is what my opinion on that is.

1:18:40

He's just try out version of Joey. But

1:18:42

it's, the Family Guy's so funny in its

1:18:44

own right. No, no, what I'm saying, like- You're like, yeah,

1:18:46

it is. Family Guy's so much

1:18:48

funnier than The Simpsons. You,

1:18:51

in your opinion, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I don't think that- Everything

1:18:53

I'm saying is in my opinion. No, but you said it-

1:18:55

I think you're the only one that can play him. You're

1:18:57

the only one who's watched it. So you get this. You

1:18:59

can put him in Boss then. Boss?

1:19:02

No, you can, because- Is

1:19:05

there other people on this list that you've seen, you

1:19:07

can be coming up that are better than that? Like,

1:19:10

I do- I can see one. The

1:19:12

comedy's not brilliant at

1:19:14

all times, in How I Met Him or that, and a

1:19:16

lot of it round him isn't brilliant, but as a character,

1:19:18

he's boss, so I think, because of that,

1:19:21

if he doesn't make it. Okay, the

1:19:23

next one is Phoebe Buffet from Friends.

1:19:28

I wouldn't put anyone from Friends, because I love it so

1:19:30

much lower than Sound, but she's my least favorite of the

1:19:32

six. Is she? Yeah. That

1:19:35

surprises me. I mean, she's level with Monica for

1:19:37

me, it's just, I don't care. Monica's

1:19:39

got some really classy moments. Phoebe's just a bit

1:19:42

too quirky and weird for me to be arsed

1:19:44

that much. I like

1:19:46

Phoebe. It's a brilliant character, because it's offset

1:19:48

by the other characters, or it offsets. Yeah,

1:19:50

yeah, yeah. I don't think

1:19:52

she does enough to leave him. Dan, where would

1:19:54

you rank Phoebe? Yeah,

1:19:57

she's, are we on Sound there? I think

1:19:59

Sound is, okay. Okay, spot on. Sound, right, the

1:20:01

next one, David Brent. This is

1:20:03

nailed on. From the UK office. It's

1:20:06

God tier. God tier. Is it? It's

1:20:09

an original. He's

1:20:12

the old, like, if, yeah,

1:20:16

if you're talking about the strength

1:20:18

of character within that, not

1:20:20

very little moves in that show

1:20:23

without David Brent. Like

1:20:25

it's all centered around, it's

1:20:27

not one of those ones where it's equally passed out

1:20:30

between the characters. He drives the whole

1:20:32

thing. He is the office. It also

1:20:34

shapes comedy, like, sensibilities for

1:20:37

the next 10 years or

1:20:39

so. The UK office. Different God tier.

1:20:41

But when people don't like it, it's

1:20:43

irritating as fuck. Watching my dad, when I was getting

1:20:46

into the office, he tried to watch it and he

1:20:48

was like, what, Salicah can't watch you? Find it. It

1:20:50

makes his skin crawl. It's just that cringe comedy. But

1:20:52

if you, most people are into it, oh my God.

1:20:54

You have to bathe in it, you have to be

1:20:57

in it with him and be like, yeah. Salicah

1:20:59

can't watch it for that reason. But I'm like, no, this is just the

1:21:02

writing's insane. From what I've seen of it, I do

1:21:04

think I'd love it. I just haven't ever bothered to

1:21:06

watch it. It's just so painful. You're not meant to

1:21:08

like love him. You're kind of meant to pity him

1:21:11

a little bit. That's how I feel. By the end,

1:21:13

you do love him, don't you? But he's a twat.

1:21:15

Yeah, yeah. Like he's a wondrous, He's not a cunt,

1:21:17

he's a twat. But then Chris Finch is showing what

1:21:19

a twat is. He's

1:21:23

the comparison where you go, oh, my man's had

1:21:25

a career, by the way. Fincy. He's

1:21:28

gone on to do some bits. Yeah,

1:21:30

amazing. Right, God's here. Okay,

1:21:33

now we're going across the pond to his

1:21:35

counterpart in the US office. Oh, you've done

1:21:37

this on purpose. Michael Scott. Never

1:21:40

watch that. Can it be God's here

1:21:42

if it's a rip off?

1:21:44

If it's a... But it's

1:21:46

not a visit. It's a cover, essentially. No,

1:21:48

but it's not. Because he develops so much

1:21:50

more. Like I've watched quite a lot of

1:21:52

The Office now. Because he's got an off-lateral.

1:21:54

The first season he's doing... Oh,

1:21:56

it is? Well, Gervais were there, weren't

1:21:58

they? Gervais and Merchant... They're pilot. I

1:22:01

think they just tweaked a few things of

1:22:03

like names and stuff. And then

1:22:05

it was their own writers, Mindy Kaling, BJ Novak,

1:22:07

that lot. Of course, because they had to do

1:22:09

24 episodes. There's that

1:22:11

run in like season two, three, four, five... I

1:22:13

think it goes from like 15, 16 episodes to

1:22:15

24 episodes. And

1:22:17

there are points where you're like, guys, you were

1:22:20

struggling in the writing room here. Because

1:22:22

the American TV, once you've got a

1:22:24

hit, they're like, cool, make it for

1:22:26

half of the year. And this is

1:22:28

how it gets syndicated. And this

1:22:30

is how you become... What did

1:22:32

Frasier... Like, Kelsey... What's he called?

1:22:34

Kelsey Grammer. His last contract with

1:22:36

Frasier was like $50 million

1:22:39

a season for two seasons. It was

1:22:41

like massive money. But

1:22:43

the demand that it puts on the writers,

1:22:45

and you get these blips where the UK

1:22:48

office never had those blips. Does he leave?

1:22:50

Because it's much more precise. Yeah, he leaves.

1:22:53

And it's so much worse. They've

1:22:57

got... In his place,

1:22:59

they've got Will Ferrell for a

1:23:01

few episodes. Idris Elba, Catherine Tate turns

1:23:03

up. Yeah. Oh, well. That's not on

1:23:06

him. If anything, that's a bigger push

1:23:08

for him. Oh, yeah, 100%. I

1:23:11

think it would have been a lovely ending if

1:23:13

they'd... I love The Office. It's my favourite. And

1:23:16

Michael Scott's my favourite of all the characters on

1:23:18

this list. I think it would

1:23:20

have been a better ending for the show if they'd

1:23:22

finished when he left. But Devner

1:23:24

had a money worked. Because we've sat with one

1:23:26

of the biggest Simpsons fans I know. And it

1:23:28

should have been called in 2002. But

1:23:32

Fox just... Just barely. Not really. 22 years ago,

1:23:34

yeah, it's been 22 years. It

1:23:36

was... No,

1:23:38

I give it to like Season 13. Which

1:23:42

is what, 2002, 2003? Similarly

1:23:45

with The Simpsons as well. There's the odd

1:23:47

one where you watch an episode and you

1:23:49

go, that's the magic. Well, there was four

1:23:52

seasons where they didn't... They just hit. It

1:23:54

was the best thing that had ever been born. Simpsons

1:23:57

should have finished when we were kids. I

1:24:00

think he might be the same as family guy as well. But

1:24:02

when Fox just goes, hey, you don't have to

1:24:04

do anything, you'll be a load of new writers,

1:24:06

but is it Groening? What's he called?

1:24:08

Back Groening. Yeah, just literally all the money you can

1:24:11

think of. They should have finished it with the film.

1:24:13

Should have been like with Don. As soon as you moved on

1:24:15

to future armor, he was like, it's clearly like he's gone, why

1:24:17

I want to do something else. Yeah. Right,

1:24:19

I can start. I could be God to you now. It's

1:24:22

so amazing. It's so God to you because it's my favorite.

1:24:25

Yeah, go on. Okay, cool. Go

1:24:27

on. Is Gloria from Modern Family again?

1:24:31

I hate to watch them all coming. I

1:24:33

think people are going to be pissed off if you don't put a boss all above,

1:24:35

but I think she's not as good as Phil.

1:24:39

No, she's my second favorite. Yeah, but she's

1:24:41

not for them. I'd say sound. Yeah,

1:24:43

she can't go lower than that. She

1:24:46

just can't. I don't think there's a lot of

1:24:48

discussion with her. I think it's just brilliant sound.

1:24:50

I don't know if she's had loads of them

1:24:52

incredible funny lines. I am. Would

1:24:55

you put a lower? I

1:24:57

don't think she's comedically that strong. Nobody's

1:24:59

a lot. She's sexy and she has

1:25:02

the accent on. I know.

1:25:04

That's the gay couple of so much more, like Cam

1:25:06

so much funnier. Do you know when we were going,

1:25:08

because obviously I've looked along to the people you've got

1:25:10

in this, I thought that was Megan

1:25:13

Fox when she shows up in New Girl, and I

1:25:15

would have, if that didn't go in shite, I'd have

1:25:17

put the shit in. Right,

1:25:19

next one. New Girl's Class, I don't know. We've got

1:25:21

Nick Miller coming up. New Girl's Class and when Megan

1:25:24

Fox comes in, she ruins the whole show by being

1:25:26

in it. Right,

1:25:28

the next one, I feel like this is gonna be an

1:25:30

easy one, is Chan Le Bing. I'm not having a conversation

1:25:33

about it. Yeah, just put it where it goes. Yeah, just

1:25:35

put it where it goes. It's

1:25:37

the best character in

1:25:39

the longest running, most

1:25:41

successful show that ever existed. Let's

1:25:43

not waste our time. Okay, right, next one. We're

1:25:45

coming back to the UK for a sitcom.

1:25:48

This is Nessa from Gavin and Stacey. Yeah.

1:25:50

Everyone loves that. Very funny. I think it's

1:25:52

the Triad. It's what that Triad

1:25:55

is. Oh, Gavin and Stacey. No, I didn't say that,

1:25:57

but I think she's one of the Triad ones. She's

1:25:59

not real. What are the writers? What

1:26:01

does that mean? Ow!

1:26:04

I love when Carla gets in a

1:26:06

lane. Last week, superheroes were goths. They're

1:26:09

fucking goths? No, it's try hard sitcom

1:26:11

characters. No, I hate like contrived characters.

1:26:14

Jim Royal is the opposite of that. You mean like

1:26:16

the caricature-y ones. You could not find someone throwing a

1:26:18

paper on a golf day, Jim Royal. That is real

1:26:20

for me and that's why she's- That's why Phoebe is

1:26:22

like the worst one in Friends for me. Because she's

1:26:24

the least believable. That's why I don't like

1:26:26

Nessa. I think it's just not real and- I

1:26:29

would put- I'm telling you right now, you're dumb.

1:26:31

You're enjoying Mrs. Brown's voice. I

1:26:33

would put Nessa in methane. Oh no! Oh,

1:26:36

that's harsh. She's got some funny lines. She

1:26:38

has, yeah. She has got some funny lines.

1:26:40

So Sheldon. So about the

1:26:42

other- We won't do Gavin and Stacey

1:26:44

in the next one then. Where would the other characters

1:26:46

run? Who's the best character in that? Is it Uncle

1:26:48

Bryn? For me, yeah. Uncle Bryn.

1:26:51

Uncle Bryn would be boss. Because he's

1:26:53

real. You beat him in Bariagua. Yeah. Uncle

1:26:56

Bryn would be boss. I don't know if you've spent

1:26:58

a lot of time in South Wales. I

1:27:00

think I should be. I

1:27:03

think- Can we put it in sound? Because-

1:27:05

Yeah. I think I would put

1:27:07

it in sound. What's really funny about this is Gavin

1:27:09

and Stacey would both be in shape. Oh yeah. They're

1:27:11

just- It's the story, aren't they? Yeah, they're the romance.

1:27:13

By the way, James. The same with Jim and- I

1:27:15

can't watch anything with James Corden anymore. Yeah. Tim and

1:27:17

Dawn aren't the funny ones in the office. Tim's got

1:27:20

some lines though. I mean, Dawn's not meant to be

1:27:22

funny. You know what I mean? They're not

1:27:24

the- Yeah, yeah. They're the romance.

1:27:26

I think they're the great sound we're going for. No? Me?

1:27:29

No. No sound. Give

1:27:32

them sound. Right. Also, someone went, what's the point

1:27:34

of this if Adam always just decides? You're like-

1:27:36

Yeah, that's for someone who just doesn't like how handsome I am.

1:27:40

Oh yeah. Did he say that at the end? Yeah,

1:27:42

he was. Next one. I bet you it's an

1:27:44

ugly man who said that. Next one. ugly

1:27:46

man who's got no women after them. Ron

1:27:48

Swanson. Sand parks and recreation. I bet you.

1:27:51

I'd honestly argue that Ron Swanson

1:27:53

should be God's here. I

1:27:56

haven't watched it. It's the very

1:27:58

end. He is such a- a

1:28:00

fucking brilliant character I'm

1:28:02

bordering on not real

1:28:05

like teetering towards star character very

1:28:08

real but it's the same with

1:28:10

i fucking love his character I

1:28:12

love the actor Nick Offerman

1:28:15

he's funny as fuck I think I

1:28:17

my vote is God's here he's so good

1:28:19

I know how many people love him people

1:28:22

who watch it love him so I'm not

1:28:24

gonna we were hanging out with one of

1:28:26

them last week what as he's i'm

1:28:28

sorry oh yeah he's very

1:28:30

quiet uh right God's

1:28:32

here parks and rec is if you enjoyed

1:28:34

the American office and you'll

1:28:36

you'll love parks and rec they basically went

1:28:38

hey that's working well should we just rip

1:28:40

it off but they did it

1:28:43

really well it does drop off a bit um yeah

1:28:46

uh the next one Nick Miller Nick Miller

1:28:48

from New Girl he's boss and

1:28:50

I absolutely like I identify with

1:28:52

him so much if you

1:28:55

ever watch New Girl watch it through the lens

1:28:57

of Nick is Adam there's

1:28:59

not a character in any ever

1:29:01

that I he's very relatable I'm

1:29:04

more like like at one point

1:29:06

she starts seeing some girl and she opens his wardrobe

1:29:08

and just six years of male unopened mail falls out

1:29:10

of his wardrobe and I remember watching it with a

1:29:12

next girlfriend and there was something in every episode where

1:29:14

I just feel I go it

1:29:19

like the way he handles his whole life the way

1:29:21

he handles his relationships the way he handles everything

1:29:24

is is humor the

1:29:26

way like he won't

1:29:28

let anyone tell him a secret because he's like

1:29:30

I'm going to tell everybody I'm gonna have to

1:29:33

tell everybody because I got he

1:29:35

is me and I love him a lot I

1:29:37

don't think he's as good as uh to

1:29:40

go in God's here I would love to put him in

1:29:42

God's here just because of how much I identify with him

1:29:44

but he's not but he is boss he's boss boss yeah

1:29:46

yeah Dan have you watched New Girl no I watched a

1:29:48

bit of the first season it was a long time ago

1:29:50

just watching the cc and that's all you need I

1:29:52

know he does you know he's wonderful yeah yeah you want

1:29:54

to marry a zoe god tea is

1:30:00

Captain Raymond Holt from God's 49ers. He's

1:30:03

so God's here. And if I... I've

1:30:05

never watched a minute of it. I think

1:30:08

this is probably the least debatable thing in

1:30:10

the whole... God fucking here. And he passed

1:30:12

recently. Yeah, Andre Brower. Yeah, Andre Brower. He

1:30:14

is so funny. Like,

1:30:16

and when he sort of becomes

1:30:19

a bit of a part of the of himself in

1:30:21

the later series, where they're playing on what the character

1:30:23

is known as, there is moments

1:30:25

that are just so funny. There's a moment where,

1:30:27

in one of the episodes, where Amy's late for

1:30:29

work, and they're all stood around going, otherwise

1:30:32

she's late for work, and everyone's like, maybe she's in a fire.

1:30:34

Maybe she's like in... like got

1:30:36

lost in the forest. And he goes, I think

1:30:38

she's in line at the bank. And

1:30:41

then she comes in and everyone's like, why are we here late? And she

1:30:43

goes, there's a line at the bank. And he goes, hot damn! And

1:30:46

when he does that and breaks what is

1:30:48

a nine season character for

1:30:51

that moment, I lost my

1:30:53

fucking mind laughing at that. He's

1:30:55

God's here. It's one of the best shows. And he's

1:30:57

got the longest of weights for that. And he's got

1:30:59

moments where you're like, oh fuck me. Ah! Like,

1:31:02

I get you as well. And he's gay. And it's

1:31:04

nice to put it... He's gay and he's black. And I think

1:31:06

that's God's here, and he's a gay and a black. So we're

1:31:08

on go. He was a serious

1:31:10

actor as well. He was Shakespearean plays and

1:31:12

stuff like that. And this was the break

1:31:15

from that. He decided to go into comedy

1:31:17

and do something different. And it

1:31:19

was so good. Right. Top.

1:31:22

God's here. Right. This

1:31:24

one, Karl made me put in. So Karl, would

1:31:26

you like to pitch why? This is

1:31:28

Paul Rudd's character from Friends. Mike. Mike

1:31:31

Hannigan. Mike Hannigan. We

1:31:33

all know you know it. Where do we pitch this? It's

1:31:36

one of the top two. I know, but then... What? I

1:31:39

know that sounds mad. But so

1:31:41

he is my third favorite character in Friends after Chandler

1:31:43

and Joey. Chandler, Joey, Mike, and then the rest. How

1:31:46

many episodes is he in? Roughly. He's

1:31:48

in the last two seasons, I think. So...

1:31:51

About 40? Yeah. But

1:31:53

he is seamlessly in the last two seasons. You're not

1:31:55

like, I wish he'd fuck off. You're like, I wish

1:31:57

he was in the car. He's as good as ever.

1:32:00

every other one of them. He's got the fucking... Yeah,

1:32:02

it's time. The piano scene. He's like, I'd love to

1:32:04

play the piano for you. And Peeve is like, well,

1:32:06

go on then. And he's like, well, there's the piano

1:32:08

here. And she goes, well, that wouldn't stop a true

1:32:10

penis. And he just gets up and he's like... And

1:32:13

just goes for this. Like, the line.

1:32:15

Maybe, this is gonna be a clear

1:32:18

idea, maybe we should not

1:32:20

let the box of rat ruin our lives. Like,

1:32:24

it is so, so good. The fact that he can

1:32:26

join it, good for the lads, which is the lads,

1:32:28

and just be like, he's got it

1:32:30

with them. It's... How

1:32:32

much was it... You

1:32:35

know, like, Curvy enthused as him is, this is your

1:32:37

character, this is where this scene needs to

1:32:39

go. Go. And they'll do

1:32:42

it until they've got it. But it's, there isn't

1:32:44

a script. There are some pointers

1:32:46

and whatnot. How scripted is Friends? Was

1:32:48

it completely... Oh, really? Really? It

1:32:51

was like, hey, you didn't hit that line, right? Oh,

1:32:53

it's overly scripted, if anything. Right. Like,

1:32:55

everything is a punchline. Every second sentence

1:32:57

is a punchline. OK. It

1:33:00

is so, so over-written. He

1:33:02

only goes in boss, though, don't he, really? Well,

1:33:04

he probably absolutely... He's the very top

1:33:06

of it, though. I've watched Friends. It...

1:33:09

I don't love it like you do, but obviously it was...

1:33:12

The most important show when we were, like, in the 90s.

1:33:15

It felt like everyone just watched it. It was like a given.

1:33:18

And I'm so surprised that you've even, like, asked

1:33:20

for it to be on this list. Paul is

1:33:22

my favourite. Over the other cast members of the

1:33:24

six will come to them. He's my

1:33:26

favourite community character. Paul Rudd, he's... He's

1:33:29

incredible. Right, OK. Oh, well. I'm bad for

1:33:31

you. Boss, you going for it? OK, he's

1:33:33

got him in boss. We're very positive this

1:33:35

week, aren't we? OK. Just look

1:33:37

at the goal there. Where are you meant to put anyone else?

1:33:39

Two left. This one is Fleabag,

1:33:41

who's unnamed, but will go for Fleabag. I

1:33:43

love Fleabag. So far. Does she not have

1:33:46

a name? No. Bo. She isn't the funniest

1:33:48

in the show. Her sister

1:33:50

is. Oh, I know. Hang on. No, but again,

1:33:52

the whole thing... She is the whole show. Andrew

1:33:54

Scott steals it in the second season. No, but

1:33:56

she is the whole show, though. Olivia Colman's really

1:33:58

funny in it as well. Yeah. You know, like,

1:34:00

you're meant to fucking hate her, but she's so good

1:34:02

at it. But I think Andrew

1:34:04

Scott is, in the second season, funnier. But

1:34:07

Fleabag is perfect, I think. Do you know

1:34:10

what? I just watched Baby Reindeer on your

1:34:12

recommendation. And when I first watched Fleabag, I...

1:34:15

Although Fleabag is trying to be funny.

1:34:18

But it's the same reaction of like, you know

1:34:20

when you're watching something, and it's British, and

1:34:23

you're like... You're weirdly proud of it.

1:34:25

You're like, this has never been made

1:34:27

before. This is truly original. This is

1:34:29

genius. For

1:34:31

someone to conceive of this and then

1:34:33

make it work, and then get it

1:34:35

commissioned, and then perfectly execute it, which

1:34:37

is Baby Reindeer, it's one of the

1:34:39

most outstanding things. Richard Gadd, in

1:34:41

his stardom... Say it back in the shows, won't it? When

1:34:44

he gets to... He's going

1:34:46

because of that. I saw like Stephen

1:34:48

King comment about it. It's gone worldwide.

1:34:50

It's one, number one on Netflix in

1:34:52

the UK. And it's the most deserved

1:34:54

thing. It's the most deserved thing I've

1:34:56

ever seen. And if you've not watched

1:34:58

it yet, just watch it. But

1:35:01

also... But also... ...a brutal advice

1:35:03

caution. Like, I... You

1:35:05

know, I never think I should give like... Trigger warnings.

1:35:07

...a lot of stuff. But

1:35:09

if any show needs a trigger

1:35:12

warning, there's strong themes of stalking

1:35:14

and bad sexual assault. Like... There's

1:35:17

the warning in there. Yeah, I've never had anything like

1:35:19

that happen to me. And I found it very difficult

1:35:21

at times to keep looking at the screen. But isn't

1:35:23

it funny that a man has to get sexually assaulted

1:35:26

for men to feel it? I was like, you're so

1:35:28

right. I was like, watching that was

1:35:30

like, fuck me. Yeah. Like, that is

1:35:32

such a regular character, women. I was like, that was... That

1:35:34

got me. That was... But

1:35:38

Fleabag, I love Fleabag that much that the

1:35:40

top of my stairs is the last scene

1:35:42

as a script that I got made for Celica. I

1:35:45

put hair and I... I just remember

1:35:47

seeing in the restaurant with her

1:35:49

sister. Yeah. Oh, Miss

1:35:51

Carid. Oh my God. I've never watched it.

1:35:54

So, um... She falls. I don't think

1:35:56

Fleabag has got it. I think the

1:35:58

show. Yeah. Is one

1:36:00

of the most remarkable things. What are next to Andrew Scott in

1:36:02

Boss? I know he's not there, but he's not there. We're going

1:36:05

for Boss? Yeah. Easy. Okay.

1:36:07

Right. Last

1:36:10

but not least, Malcolm Tucker from The Thick

1:36:12

of It. He's God's here. It's

1:36:16

one of the most amazing

1:36:18

performances for all of The Thick

1:36:20

of It. And The Film. And

1:36:22

The writing of... I'm

1:36:25

Ando Inuchi. I'm Ando Inuchi. Oh

1:36:28

my God. If you have not watched The

1:36:30

Thick of It, this guy is a fucking

1:36:32

psycho. He's

1:36:34

so cut and so aggressive. He

1:36:36

drives the whole thing through fear.

1:36:39

The other characters that play off

1:36:41

that are brilliant. It's like

1:36:43

watching the best written bullying you've ever

1:36:45

seen. And I

1:36:48

love it so much. And I

1:36:50

think he, for me, is God's here. I'm not gonna

1:36:52

argue with you because I've never seen it. And Will's

1:36:54

nodding, I trust Will. It's

1:36:57

so good. Peter Capaldi is one

1:36:59

of the UK's

1:37:01

finest actors, I think. He's so good in everything he's

1:37:03

ever seen. Was he in that thing, like Dr. O?

1:37:05

Was in Dr. O. I'm not just talking about that.

1:37:07

So if you don't know, The

1:37:09

Thick of It is a political comedy

1:37:12

and he is a spin doctor. Yeah.

1:37:16

He's based on Alastair Campbell, isn't he?

1:37:18

Is it Alastair Campbell? He's

1:37:20

based on... You're in France for him, next. He's a

1:37:23

spin doctor. Thanks,

1:37:27

French flies. I'll

1:37:29

get you. Oh, no. That

1:37:33

is a very top heavy list. So we're going to

1:37:35

God's Day for Malcolm F. DeBans. Oh, please, for me. I'm

1:37:37

not gonna disagree with you there. Fucking lovely. That is

1:37:39

a top heavy list. I think we've done the right...

1:37:41

That's right. I think we've nailed that.

1:37:43

I think there'll be people that disagree. But

1:37:46

look at, like, you argued about Nessa and you were

1:37:48

like, Nessa doesn't belong with all those people in Boss.

1:37:51

No, not even close. She's lucky to be with you. Oh, no,

1:37:53

I didn't wanna move it up. I just think she's better than

1:37:55

me. There's a few there that I've... Well, she's biased. It's

1:37:57

not. Oh, I like Nessa me because she's from...

1:38:00

down they are got

1:38:03

one yeah you know me that Syria comment

1:38:07

below if you want to change anything but we don't give a fuck as well

1:38:09

right yeah sure the algorithm

1:38:11

I'm not reading keep commenting what

1:38:13

tailist you'd like to see as

1:38:15

well they're very helpful class

1:38:18

I'm starving now please part

1:38:22

three of three a bit

1:38:24

late in the day for a coffee but I feel like I need it you

1:38:27

know bored of me so I need a pepper

1:38:29

oh you know what we do some banter but

1:38:31

sometimes I know Jack cuts

1:38:34

a little

1:38:37

deep probably

1:38:40

had ages or one very like it you

1:38:44

know what I mean I was gonna

1:38:46

dress us down yesterday and you know what I was wearing

1:38:49

yeah it was exactly this you're

1:38:51

like you like a dark color and you

1:38:53

like a style not

1:38:55

very flamboyant because I feel fun

1:38:57

it's if it was a video

1:38:59

game what his default outfit would

1:39:01

yeah yeah we've all gone with my turned

1:39:03

up jeans turned

1:39:05

out for what aren't

1:39:07

turned up band t-shirt cargoes

1:39:10

and black shoes and

1:39:12

just an air of sad no desert

1:39:20

storm afternoon off camel everywhere

1:39:22

do you know what I mean that sort

1:39:25

of like yeah like talons oh yeah you

1:39:27

love a tanda you camel mind very depending

1:39:29

on what's happening at the latest Palace fashion

1:39:31

week yeah

1:39:33

classic lad latest one last week

1:39:35

lab from dovey Chappelle Chappelle

1:39:37

on Tuesday Paris Fashion Week the next day

1:39:41

speaking some week one thing me

1:39:43

it's not me whether

1:39:47

the what room room

1:39:49

one oh two eight

1:39:52

if you're gonna move the show along you're gonna have to

1:39:54

do it smoother than that the

1:40:00

new feature which is a spin on room 101 we're

1:40:02

going for room 102 it's not next

1:40:05

door it's across the way can we rip off

1:40:07

the music from room 101 what

1:40:10

is it? things run through a barricade this

1:40:15

is doing a lot of work

1:40:17

today welcome to room 102 if

1:40:20

you put good things in there that I like

1:40:22

I'm gonna book you twice I'm getting a red

1:40:24

card country music

1:40:26

no you can go first because

1:40:28

I want you to I've got a

1:40:30

couple I'm

1:40:35

going with not the drink Richard

1:40:37

and Judy but Guinness drinkers but

1:40:41

if you put Guinness drinkers in room 101 no just

1:40:44

the people leave the Guinness on the taps put all

1:40:46

the people no one bevy say no let

1:40:48

it die why cuz you're

1:40:50

all born and come fuck

1:40:53

me it is a drink even

1:40:55

if it's the best drink in the

1:40:57

world even if

1:41:00

it gives you how long a day it's still

1:41:02

I mean that's the heavy drink got

1:41:05

so much iron and you were wolfing him down

1:41:07

last night honestly I've never

1:41:09

seen a person drink a fifth of a pint

1:41:12

of Guinness so quickly it's

1:41:14

just a drink you don't need to point it

1:41:16

towards you know Connor's resting point you

1:41:18

don't need to know no you're making all this

1:41:20

shit up to when you like to play a

1:41:22

little game with our bevy comes with a free

1:41:24

game on the glass no ah oh don't it

1:41:26

I didn't I won't that's a bad place just

1:41:28

friends guess you can get a bad point to

1:41:30

me I want a good plan to me favorite

1:41:32

drink that comes with a free game yeah I

1:41:34

want about fun with me friends have you ever

1:41:36

been for the Guinness and just

1:41:38

not spoke about Guinness ever yeah never

1:41:40

just gone oh we've never mentioned the

1:41:43

way you haven't you said I go whoa

1:41:45

that's a good one have you ever thought

1:41:47

that everyone's doing that in front of you just to wind

1:41:49

you know it's become

1:41:51

a thing oh you

1:41:53

split the s on the glass you

1:41:56

know it's not the drink either cuz it's

1:41:58

not a bad drink Guinness is Oh Okay,

1:42:00

it's the Konsu drink here. Room

1:42:03

one, I'm bastard too, and I'm locked at all as

1:42:05

well, so you can't get it back out again. Is

1:42:07

there a pack? Can you get a pack of Guinness in there? You've got

1:42:10

it, by the way. It's a shit one. You've got to

1:42:12

get, oh, what, like a 2.5? Yeah. There

1:42:14

isn't a hundred point scale for a drink. There is?

1:42:17

A hundred point, yes! Fuck

1:42:20

me. Yes, there is. It's

1:42:22

two one decimal points out of 10, which is a

1:42:24

hundred points. Yes. Are

1:42:26

you arguing against me? Yeah, I am. Go on.

1:42:28

Because you're trying to put me in a room for that.

1:42:30

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm the worst of them all.

1:42:32

Everything you're saying is me. I sat down in

1:42:34

pokes, I was like, it's just me and Jack, and I said, quite good,

1:42:37

and he said, are you doing it? And he

1:42:39

said, yes, class, you've done well today. Green glasses. Oh boy.

1:42:41

Can I say this? Excellent part, it's

1:42:44

shenanigans. Really good. Hang

1:42:46

on boys, we can't possibly drink unless we're

1:42:48

videoing ourselves doing it. No, it's a game

1:42:50

call. It's a drink. When it

1:42:52

was four in our practice, it's possibly a game

1:42:54

in our pool. What? Play pool? Play

1:42:58

pool? And then call it that pink. Come on Jack,

1:43:00

you just imagine. You

1:43:03

can say that it's hard, nothing comes out, it's like

1:43:05

a lick, it's like a fucking solid! Oh,

1:43:07

no one's at. Finn,

1:43:10

back me up. Yeah you're right. You've got to get

1:43:12

two or three of us to agree, or it doesn't

1:43:14

go in. Oh, it's gonna be a majority. Yeah, that's

1:43:16