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the recent linkedin i'm jessi hempel and

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this is hello monday

0:41

a decade ago this summer tig notaro

0:44

walked on stage at los angeles

0:46

comedy club and began set with

0:48

one of the most memorable lines in comedy

0:50

history hello , said

0:53

said evening hello i have i

0:57

a smattering of nervous he he's rippled

0:59

through the audience six comedian

1:02

her job is to be funny but that

1:04

wasn't a very humorous moments in texas

1:06

she just been diagnosed with cancer in with

1:09

best the top of that she

1:11

had survived pneumonia and see discussed

1:13

a and months earlier she'd

1:15

gone to break up and her mom

1:17

had up after horrible accident

1:20

and in light such has a moment in her

1:22

life take a to

1:24

talk about it the resulting

1:26

show change the way we thought about comedy

1:28

and it way the trajectory of tix career

1:31

in the decade since tic is worked prolifically

1:34

she's had own show when mississippi

1:37

she's been another tv says she

1:39

has to podcasts and another new animated

1:41

special signet rl drawn

1:44

she was here in york for a conversation she

1:46

or works for tribeca film festival

1:49

all that success had me curious to know

1:51

if she would make the same decision today

1:54

to , frank and outspoken is her job

1:56

about something so deeply personal

2:00

eg

2:04

yes i would i

2:06

would definitely back

2:08

that decision and do it the

2:11

done it's funny

2:13

cause with the pandemic that always talks

2:17

creep endemic post endemic and i'm very

2:19

much similar

2:22

around that time area where

2:24

you're always getting to know yourself that i really

2:27

felt like i didn't no

2:29

my cell phone whole other level before

2:32

two thousand twelve to two thousand and

2:34

twelve was think what

2:36

this past two year period has been to

2:38

at is far too many people wasn't

2:41

simply one disaster it was many

2:43

on top of each other since and

2:45

on meetings or

2:47

the funny people and ,

2:50

i think culturally mistakenly sometimes equate

2:53

humor with lightness what

2:56

did humor mean to you before that

2:59

the turning point in your comey while

3:01

i think i saw schumer

3:03

very much how people see the

3:06

the lightness the silliness and

3:08

all of that is so incredible and

3:10

i'm a huge fan silliness and

3:13

i would say even more so in

3:15

two thousand two thousand hi

3:18

saw comedy and a very different way

3:21

in that it helps me breakthrough

3:24

that time and connect

3:26

with people that

3:28

i would say even with the pandemic

3:30

i'm learning on whole other level

3:33

where it's not just that it

3:35

helped me through time one

3:39

you are saying i guess to for the show

3:41

started that you came up and and

3:44

explained what my show one

3:46

mississippi meant to you i probably

3:48

didn't fully take it and because

3:51

i don't think don't think got it

3:53

or i

3:56

got it but i don't think i've really

3:58

did until the pandemic and

4:01

i i started

4:03

to understand

4:06

how people really do use

4:10

these tv shows

4:12

are comedy albums music

4:14

to really get through it and even though i knew

4:17

i've done that before race i

4:19

don't think i could really identify with

4:21

being somebody that why

4:24

the

4:25

other people used to get through thing so maybe

4:27

overstepping with as but it sounds like maybe part

4:29

of what you're saying is that pandemic sort

4:32

of deepened or refrained how

4:34

you thought about the work the you do

4:37

one million percent and it's not that i

4:39

take myself seriously now i'm like

4:41

wow i really the helpful

4:43

savior that's what i am but

4:45

i get to see the value

4:49

more than i even did in two thousand

4:51

and twelve and i also think

4:53

there is a lot in two thousand and twelve

4:55

that i couldn't see clearly

4:59

for awhile

5:01

in process when he made that

5:03

decision in two thousand times cause he would you had no idea

5:05

what the impact would be on

5:07

, maybe had i don't know know when it's the

5:09

nails but there were things that happen

5:11

in the media after mass and then there are

5:13

things that have happened since

5:15

as result of them what

5:17

didn't you know the backs and that you've

5:20

learned

5:22

in so many things

5:26

i didn't know myself

5:29

i'm still learning about myself didn't

5:31

know that was capable

5:33

of haynes

5:36

commitment , myself to others

5:39

to health to my

5:43

stand up my career

5:45

whatever form it takes and like

5:47

was saying before it i'd i just

5:50

saw of comedy and what i did

5:52

as just lighthearted silly

5:54

thing and i learned that

5:58

there is definitely power who

6:01

entertaining her making somebody

6:03

laugh for pulling them out as whatever

6:06

moment there and because through

6:08

my own struggles i

6:11

am so thankful for what

6:14

others have provided for me, will i i think think

6:16

that there is power that comes from honesty,

6:18

honesty, with self monday, do with other people,

6:20

and many

6:22

people strive for for honesty, but i want want see a particularly

6:25

honesty challenging, but

6:27

i think for me i saw the

6:29

work that you did, then i hadn't

6:32

truly understood that humor

6:34

could be a a path to honesty rather

6:36

than a a path away from it it and i

6:38

i actually could clear the the way for you you to to find

6:41

not you particularly, but one to to find

6:43

ways to to be more honest with themselves about

6:45

hard things and i think that, that to me

6:47

me was the the magic of, of that yeah,

6:50

it's it's against something i

6:53

didn't think too much about but

6:55

you hear about the

6:57

strength and and power power of honesty

7:00

and and what it can do to person

7:02

to moment to growth the

7:05

feedback general feedback

7:07

the comedians are and it that's just people

7:10

live the world as his strength us to be yourself

7:12

and yourself hear that he's here that being

7:14

on us here the being vulnerable

7:16

you hear the being yourself is

7:19

here super power then

7:21

you can't quite wrap your head around

7:23

that or apply it sometimes

7:25

then you do it

7:28

sure enough if you're if

7:30

you're really being very

7:33

genuinely authentically

7:35

the things it can

7:37

be a superpower yeah

7:40

what's it mean to you that

7:42

this moment that was the most

7:44

difficult moments of your last well

7:47

it's the most well known yeah

7:49

atlanta totally take that back what am i

7:51

saying i don't what the most difficult moment as well

7:53

as it of people always say that so apple

7:56

allow is the hardest time your life now

7:58

is think will are you

8:00

that him i were them in i had

8:02

life before that nevada life after

8:04

that you know and lately

8:06

and and that's the thing is it's

8:08

his life and and

8:11

struggle the on both sides of that how

8:14

have you thought about navigating

8:17

said decisions that you make around what

8:20

roles you're going take on what projects that

8:23

you're gonna take gonna in the wake of that

8:25

i would say sense that time period

8:27

i have then on the

8:30

mission to feel good in

8:33

my head space my body

8:35

the company that i kid

8:37

the decisions i make all of that i want feel

8:40

good and that's not just me

8:42

being selfish because i

8:44

think it's kind of like with comedy

8:47

if i have to thing it's funny for

8:49

me to enjoy being there which is

8:51

so it going to have lantern make

8:54

the audience feel that way so

8:57

it's it's similar in that

8:59

i want to feel good

9:02

it's eclectic mix tag like since

9:04

know your ios it's other people's really close

9:06

as suddenly and start earlier

9:08

them and army the dead zombie film

9:10

a i can trace

9:12

almost everything that i'm doing

9:14

back to something positive

9:17

or something that makes me feel good whether it's

9:19

who is involved in the project what

9:22

the project is saying

9:26

am i going to have good time sometimes

9:28

i don't have good time or didn't feel

9:30

good and that's just that's

9:32

a slice for a while

9:34

though project was rough

9:36

or this person was brutal

9:39

or this was not what i thought

9:41

it was but it

9:43

it starts with i'm

9:45

taking this because wow

9:49

that that sounds good that

9:53

yeah makes sense for the moment how

9:56

did the different

9:58

break up my mick hi

10:00

a decade ago inform types of

10:02

choices that had about what you can proceed with

10:04

after i remember saying to my manager

10:06

the time couple of days

10:08

after my story

10:10

went viral i was saying

10:13

the so odd when do you think this is

10:15

going to than

10:18

they said what do man i said i don't know

10:20

just the attention

10:23

i was making a good living and was doing

10:25

sign and happy with my

10:27

career and i was moving

10:29

along but wasn't used having

10:32

this huge flood of

10:35

offers to do a book a

10:37

tv show movie interviews

10:40

and all sorts of the i

10:42

was just like when is this gonna end

10:44

and and he was like oh i don't i mean

10:46

i don't don't see it ending this

10:49

is a what i

10:51

thought of going to an like the next day right

10:53

i'm lucky that i was at place in

10:55

my career and my life that

10:57

i was seasoned

11:00

and so when i did get offers

11:03

and opportunities i was prepared

11:05

because i had so much experience

11:08

site and i had a lot

11:10

to share and say and and

11:13

, i'm really curious about

11:15

what that

11:16

massive influx of attention salt

11:18

lake whether you liked that are

11:20

not i

11:22

certainly likes having

11:24

opportunities you

11:27

do things i hadn't done before but

11:31

confusing time because i

11:33

was still struggling with my health and

11:35

ways i'm

11:38

still very sad about losing my mother

11:41

i was also newly single

11:44

and going through all that by

11:46

myself and so it

11:48

was it was that it was a

11:51

confusing crossover of

11:53

emotion and experience

11:56

for me so there were times as

11:58

like this is incredible and there their

12:00

time sir was just like the

12:02

stark reality of having this

12:06

is across my chest and know mother

12:08

to call and know girlfriend

12:10

to call it wasn't just like whoa

12:13

i went through that now i'm on my

12:15

way to the top it with flag oh

12:18

this this hard

12:21

we're going to take quick break when we come back

12:24

more with signatories

12:28

hello monday as brought you by the women

12:30

on the move podcast from jp morgan

12:33

chase the series spotlights

12:35

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12:37

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12:39

and a fan nationally quality listen

12:41

in as founders exactly than

12:44

other thousand years the stumps navigating

12:46

career success and making an

12:48

impact subscribe now by

12:50

searching for women on the moon are

12:52

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12:55

we're

12:58

back

12:59

had incredible career success and that has

13:02

gone hand in hand lettered as for a

13:04

lot of us with a very complicated

13:06

personalize it's one of reasons

13:08

i've been so eager to have taken on show

13:10

instead of compartmentalizing her illness

13:13

her pain her loss like a lot

13:15

of us do at work take ,

13:17

whole self to her shows she doesn't

13:19

sugar coat which he's going through

13:22

she steps to her life one day at a time

13:24

and seems to trust that the people around her capable

13:27

of doing the same even when

13:29

those losses are major mean

13:31

you're catching they at very odd

13:34

point because i

13:36

love my opportunities love

13:39

the possibilities

13:43

that i also

13:46

you know you you said you enjoyed

13:49

my show on mississippi and

13:51

then very sadly my stepfather

13:53

from the show passed away recently

13:56

and that was unexpected

13:58

he'd died of see death which the

14:00

disease said i had ten

14:02

years ago and ,

14:04

i took him off life support

14:07

ten years to the day that i took my mother

14:09

off life support ever unbelievably

14:12

lined up like that having

14:15

my career my house my

14:17

family is incredible

14:20

and then when you're watching

14:23

a loved one

14:26

guy in in in

14:28

front of your eyes

14:31

again it

14:34

puts his urgency the sense of urgency

14:37

like what am i doing what

14:39

do i wonder what should i be doing what

14:42

it's , to walk out of a hospital

14:44

again into the bright

14:46

daylight with people park in their car

14:49

and push in the buttons in the l and what floor

14:51

you going to ft dislodged your loved one

14:53

the i slowly and so

14:56

that's kind of where i am it's still relatively

14:59

new and so i'm i'm i'm still

15:01

a little like i'm

15:03

i'm at crossroad where i'm i'm a little

15:05

like what what am i to and what i

15:07

gonna do what should i do my

15:09

ceiling where my go and what

15:12

, feels right you know know

15:15

i'm also again newly

15:17

moving furniture

15:19

out of my step father's house and

15:21

step father's and just in

15:23

that place at that is

15:25

at sight of

15:28

and us prolonged pies

15:30

and sorry for that i appreciate

15:33

it i'm sorry for it to like

15:35

i can't believe it but that's

15:37

where i am and it has leveled

15:39

me in a different way

15:42

then

15:43

you know you can be sexy different points

15:46

your life but there's different sick yeah

15:48

and i'm level that

15:50

it's different level yeah it's

15:53

it's different it's there it's always different

15:55

yeah one

15:58

play it when i lost my stepfather

16:01

i remember

16:02

thinking that you should wear something

16:04

like right here people which

16:06

is recognized as the and also they just talk

16:08

to you differently for while somebody

16:10

was just saying that how he should

16:12

have a band around your arm so people

16:14

this know i've i'm going

16:16

through trauma right now

16:18

i'm i'm and struggling bit

16:21

and i think it's a really good

16:23

h i , and something

16:25

something something deal

16:27

because how can anybody ask anything

16:29

as prosaic as do you want sugar

16:32

in your latte or i in this

16:34

moment or least set to me was how

16:36

i experienced it am

16:38

sorry for your loss wow

16:41

that happened decade ago and i can evoke like

16:43

that the muscles great losses and allies

16:45

yeah always say lake they ride

16:47

their yeah right under the surface and absolutely

16:51

absolutely so so

16:53

it isn't a moment and i so appreciate

16:55

you sharing that also because

16:59

moment the too many people have experienced

17:01

in ways that they didn't expect to and

17:03

a in our culture in the last couple

17:06

of years last is fighting much

17:08

closer to the surface than it ever has

17:10

been before him and

17:12

it can be challenging to figure out

17:14

how how what we do

17:16

even matters right in the context of

17:18

that but also does bring us

17:20

back his senses purpose

17:23

around like how we think about what we do

17:25

these use the word urgency i so appreciate

17:27

ballard oh my gosh so

17:29

i'm in the urgency

17:32

that is what i'm feeling right now the

17:34

new has you operator you person

17:36

who operates in world with the sense that you have

17:38

purpose or is that not how

17:41

you think about it

17:42

i did my purpose in everyday purpose

17:44

is to try to be happy

17:47

on some level and

17:49

so i think said that

17:51

is the purpose who

17:55

living in having relationships

17:58

and whatever it

18:00

is friends family work

18:03

it kind of goes back to what i'm saying before

18:05

where i have to be happy in

18:07

order to be

18:09

able to make others happy think

18:12

that feels like my purpose and

18:14

so i feel happy

18:16

i feel certainly mom

18:18

not walking around

18:21

crying and you ,

18:23

to me and like i have and with here

18:25

in town with my wife and children my mother

18:27

in law we are sitting at breakfast

18:29

for laughing are having are good

18:31

time the kid serve misbehaving

18:33

there doing a good job travel

18:35

it's all happen it's the good all the that's happening

18:38

shirt and i'm having good moments

18:40

but i am

18:43

i'm very much trying to refocus

18:45

and go okay they

18:47

back to the urgency what do

18:49

i want to do what how

18:52

do i want to spend my time

18:54

and yeah

18:57

what is my purpose my purposes to be happy

18:59

how do i maintain that happiness

19:01

which is also something

19:03

something is key is rather

19:06

than and everybody falls for about wanting

19:08

more and more and more how

19:11

do you maintain what he what

19:13

you have that i

19:15

think is really key to because

19:19

learn more more more doesn't always

19:21

work whatever it is the

19:23

do that you need understand that you have a

19:25

good friend mine several years ago

19:28

i had the personal loss oh assembly very

19:30

close to me and she said oh yeah

19:33

you know at at that point was merrily

19:35

forties and she said nobody tells this but your

19:37

whole first tough realize is that figuring

19:39

how to experience was no experience

19:41

it and finally honey get it and

19:44

then you into the second half of your life which is a gut

19:46

punch because it's all about figuring how to love

19:48

to last year then

19:51

yeah yeah fair enough here the

19:54

united done so many topics in our conversation

19:57

and before we wrapped out there was one more

19:59

thing more thing

20:00

really wanted to know if you'll indulge

20:02

me she has a special maybe you've seen

20:04

it on netflix it's called happy to be here

20:07

now for ages around time she made

20:09

the special when tig was out touring

20:11

on the road she'd get to end

20:13

of the set and she'd say and now the

20:16

indigo girls that with

20:18

it

20:19

there was no curtain call there were

20:21

no indigo girls to be found but

20:24

now if watch the special on netflix there's

20:26

a joke it's at the end of her said she

20:28

plays drums she says here

20:30

they come anyway and they

20:32

don't come and then she said they're coming and

20:34

you wait and they don't come and

20:36

just at that moment were like oh guess it's

20:38

like that thing she does out

20:40

, the indigo girls

20:43

and it just needed to understand how that was even possible

20:46

like is there are some super cool queer

20:48

lady club with a bat signal that bat don't

20:50

know about

20:52

yeah i'm i'm in i've gotten

20:54

some bat phone numbers

20:56

of people in the the bat club

20:59

but i i had been doing that

21:02

yeah for a long

21:04

time like may be a year

21:06

so and

21:09

i will ending every

21:11

performance with that and

21:14

teasing that the indigo

21:16

girls are gonna be there and

21:19

they never were and

21:22

the decide well

21:25

it's really fun do it when they're not

21:28

introduced

21:29

and the joke was if

21:31

, wanna see the indigo girls than buy

21:33

tickets to the indigo girls and as center

21:35

there but yeah

21:37

i read stouts we have

21:39

mutual friends and so

21:41

i reached out and

21:44

i'm helping to workshop the

21:47

show with some help when

21:50

i was headlining carnegie hall

21:53

and so they

21:55

plan their tour they were totally

21:57

into it they tell me

22:00

when we were in person they said week connection

22:02

with we just trusted year we weren't

22:04

quite sure what you're saying

22:07

the a fan and as i

22:09

know it's completely bizarre but

22:11

i'm so they routed their tour to

22:13

centers in new york at carnegie hall

22:15

and so they came and is it at carnegie hall and

22:18

then after that i

22:20

said ok i'm taping my

22:22

special you can do it

22:25

and he dead and them when i was doing

22:27

a warm up ron

22:30

the shells leading up to the taping

22:32

i was thinking well this will be

22:35

really fun and exciting but

22:37

some people might not know

22:39

or care about the indigo girls and their there

22:41

to see me perform so

22:43

kind weird that i just introduced them

22:46

as though you

22:48

know if any and and so i i just saw

22:50

it

22:51

i should probably be on stage theo

22:54

i was wondering how you thought about that yeah

22:56

so that's what it was an i

22:59

play little bit drums and so

23:01

i did you play drums beforehand as

23:03

my classes only on the

23:05

dashboard of the car i had played

23:07

drums is over the years that i hadn't really

23:10

a few years but i was practicing

23:13

on the dashboard of car just the kind of

23:15

get ready cause

23:18

they agreed to have me on

23:20

stage with them love that

23:23

regarding studio thanks for having

23:26

we were high we were low i really

23:28

enjoyed conversation appreciate it well

23:30

i really appreciate

23:33

, have and me cool for

23:35

maybe i'll see and mississippi that

23:37

was kidney toro her new special

23:39

drawn is out now on h b

23:41

o and or new film am i okay

23:44

good record with her wife stephanie allen

23:46

is out later this year this

23:48

, and hello monday office hours were going talk

23:51

about bringing or whole selves to work

23:53

how do we do that during periods of illness

23:56

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georgie mixed or show for didn't see a

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dave pond his head of news production michaela

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