0:00

And I believe in love and I believe in romance and I

0:02

am a lover girl at my heart. And

0:05

I know the only way that I can truly have that is

0:08

by loving myself and

0:10

loving being alone and loving my solitude and

0:13

knowing myself and doing the inner healing work

0:15

so I can not just find but hold

0:17

a level of relationship with that that is

0:19

truly in integrity where all parts of me

0:22

are being seen and activated and I am

0:24

not in hiding. I can't do that if

0:26

I'm just trying to bounce and be in

0:28

a relationship to be in one period. Like

0:32

the type of relationship that I

0:34

am calling in requires deep levels

0:37

of reflection and gnosis

0:39

and alignment. And

0:42

as I'm quantum leaping in my own

0:44

expression of myself, it's like, thank goddess

0:46

for that because whoever it is that

0:48

I meet is meeting that version of

0:50

me. And I'm so grateful they

0:52

haven't met a former version of me because I'm no, I've

0:54

already transcended that. And

1:18

before we get into this conversation, I would love

1:20

if you would hit subscribe on this podcast. This

1:22

is the best way for you to stay tuned

1:25

on future episodes and it helps raise the vibration

1:27

of the planet. So wherever you're listening to this

1:29

podcast, hit subscribe and we'll keep it the good

1:31

juju flow in. Welcome

1:33

back to the High Cell Podcast. My

1:36

name is Sahara Rose and on this

1:38

podcast, I love to take spirituality and

1:40

make it modern, grounded, fun, real, relatable

1:42

so it can actually serve your needs.

1:44

And I love to just share

1:47

concepts and realizations that I've had

1:49

on my own pathway, especially this

1:51

past year, being single for the

1:53

first time in seven plus years

1:55

and share it with you

1:57

because I know a lot of us right

1:59

now. are on this journey. I am

2:02

seeing so many empowered,

2:05

beautiful, heart-centered women

2:08

be single, unexpectedly leaving relationships where

2:10

they're not being met or

2:13

are in situations that

2:15

are disrespectful, abusive, toxic.

2:18

And I'm just seeing such a rise in

2:20

the feminine right now that we are saying

2:22

enough of, you know,

2:24

a lot of these patriarchal conditionings

2:26

that have plagued society for so

2:28

long that women have put up

2:31

with for a long time. You know,

2:33

you're told, well, that's just what marriage is

2:35

like, or that's just what men do. And

2:37

you're made to believe that that's normal. And

2:39

I'm seeing so many women say, no, it

2:42

ends with me. So if

2:44

you're in that situation, I just want to

2:46

celebrate you and congratulate you for the courage

2:48

that it takes for leaving a situation where

2:50

you're not being respected and seen and acknowledged.

2:53

It takes immense strength. And I just

2:56

have so much respect for any person

2:58

that's going through that right now. I

3:00

know for me, it has been definitely

3:02

the hardest thing of my entire life,

3:04

but it's important for us to

3:06

recognize that that power that we

3:08

were giving away to someone else

3:10

is always within ourselves. And

3:13

being single can actually be the best thing that

3:15

has ever happened to you. So how

3:18

to make the most of being

3:20

single. So I have

3:22

found that being single has exponentially

3:26

increased my growth, my creativity,

3:28

my expression, my radiance, my

3:30

style, my glow up, all

3:32

of these things in a

3:34

way that I don't think I

3:36

would have ever in a relationship because, you

3:38

know, especially when you're in a new relationship, you're

3:40

like very focused. It's like that new relationship energy.

3:42

And you're like, you're just, I mean, it's a

3:44

beautiful feeling. I love that. However, you're,

3:47

you're focused on getting to know this new

3:49

person right now. And then

3:51

oftentimes when you're in a long-term relationship, you

3:54

have a sense of identity that is entwined

3:56

with that other person. I find

3:58

that often how you enter. the

4:00

relationship is who you stay within

4:02

the relationship, that there is this

4:04

sort of unspoken subconscious agreement that

4:07

happens of like, you're the

4:09

serious one, and I'm the fun one, or

4:11

you're the extroverted one, I'm the introverted one,

4:13

or this is just how we are with

4:15

each other. And it's not just in romantic

4:17

relationship, but every friendship, it has its own

4:19

tone to it, right? So often

4:22

in relationship, we enter into it as one version

4:24

of us, but we change, but

4:26

we kind of feel indebted to still being

4:28

that person in the relationship, that then we

4:31

end up playing a role that we no

4:33

longer are. And a true

4:35

conscious relationship is to allow ourselves to continue

4:37

to get to know that new person and

4:39

all of their metamorphosis and

4:41

layers and different

4:44

iterations of themselves. However,

4:47

that takes really continuing

4:49

to date each other and get to know

4:51

each other and be curious. And by the

4:53

way, that new version of them might

4:56

and likely will not be what you signed

4:58

up for. They might go a different direction

5:00

that you might not understand, you might not

5:02

even approve of, but that's who they are.

5:05

And true love is to, you know, as

5:07

long as it's still respectful in accordance with

5:09

you, but to unconditionally accept someone, maybe they're

5:11

going through a stage. Like I have a

5:13

friend that, you know, they were in this

5:15

like very like tantric sexual relationship. And then

5:18

he decided that he wanted to be celibate

5:20

for a time. And she

5:22

could have said, well, I'm leaving this relationship because

5:24

this was supposed to be like a very

5:26

sexually charged relationship and now you want to

5:28

be celibate. But she, she trusted that that's

5:30

what he was called to do. And that

5:33

took her on her own journey of her

5:35

own inner pleasure. And now he's

5:37

in a different phase in there and they're back

5:39

in that with actually a higher level of connection.

5:42

So relationships take on their own life

5:44

form and you will continue to die

5:46

and be reborn in relationship. I

5:49

find when we are single and

5:51

in ourselves, we get to do a lot

5:53

of these, these death and rebirth cycles on

5:55

our own. So it's speed tracks

5:58

it because when you're in a relationship you

6:00

have to like solidify

6:03

that change within yourself. Then

6:05

have the courage to express this desire to

6:07

change the relationship with the other person than

6:10

that other person getting on board. This is

6:12

like months, slash years

6:14

long process. When you're single, you're just

6:16

like quickly changing so much, you're like,

6:18

now my identity is this, now my

6:20

identity is that. So the first way

6:22

of making the most of being single

6:24

is to try on different identities. Try

6:27

on different characters. Try on different sides of

6:29

yourself. Because we are

6:31

all multi-dimensional and multifaceted. And

6:34

there isn't like, for example, I

6:36

have an aspect of myself that

6:38

is like Bali, wild woman, just

6:41

like my mermaid messy hair in

6:43

the jungle and the waterfall drumming,

6:45

barefoot, ecstatic dancing. And like that

6:48

is very much a version of

6:50

me. And I've

6:52

also been living here in London for

6:54

the past few months. And you know,

6:56

I have this version of me that

6:58

loves like exploring Europe and staying in

7:00

luxury hotels and getting massages and pampering

7:02

myself and going shopping and getting my

7:05

hair done and you know, just

7:07

being super glam. And I have that side

7:09

of myself too. Then I have another side

7:11

of myself that's like a mystery woman and

7:13

a mystic. And she goes to Egypt and

7:16

she's channeling and doing rituals and creating altars

7:18

and connecting to her spirit guides. And

7:20

then I have another side of myself that she goes to

7:22

Trinidad and she's wearing her carnival

7:25

outfit and she's dancing on the streets and

7:27

she doesn't give a fuck and she's winding

7:29

up her waistline. I have another side of

7:31

myself that she's wrapping and she's freestyling and

7:33

she's making music and she's producing. And I

7:35

have all these different sides of myself, right?

7:38

So because I'm single, I got to really

7:40

get to know them. And

7:42

that's why I'm sure if you listen to this podcast,

7:44

you're like, oh, I know that version of Saharan. I

7:46

know that version of Saharan. I know that. So you

7:48

can't put me in a box, bitch. Keep changing, you

7:51

know? And that's what's so fun when you're single is

7:53

like, you have to like slow it down.

7:55

You don't have to explain. You don't have to be like, well,

7:57

let me try to like tone it down so I can like

7:59

meet you. years, like you shouldn't be all out you,

8:02

you know, because what I have found is

8:04

like, at first, I was like, I want to be

8:06

with a partner who like loves carnival and wants to

8:08

go to museums with me and wants to go to

8:10

Egypt with me and wants to do business in this

8:12

is like, how like,

8:14

I'm all those things, but how can I expect

8:16

another person to like be simultaneously those exact same

8:18

things as me. And so

8:20

it removes this like expectation we have for

8:23

our partner to be everything and we get

8:25

to like actually be all of the different

8:27

sides of ourselves and explore them fully. And

8:29

I find that when we're in relationship, we

8:31

like turn off the sides of ourselves that

8:33

we feel won't get the approval of that

8:36

other person. So let's say your

8:38

partner doesn't like it when you post dancing pictures and

8:40

they're like, why are you posting that is you're trying

8:42

to get attention, like I don't want you showing your

8:45

body or things stuff like that. Well,

8:47

then you're obviously not going to do it because it would

8:49

take a lot of strength for you to go against your

8:51

own partner saying that to you. So probably you're going to

8:54

convince yourself, well, I actually don't even want to do it.

8:56

It's actually not that important to me. I don't know. Yeah,

8:58

yeah. I see what they mean. They're just trying to protect

9:00

me. But then when

9:02

you leave the relationship, maybe the first thing you want

9:05

to do is put up some dancing videos of yourself

9:07

and start dressing sexier and start being in

9:09

your expression. You then you can recognize that

9:12

that actually was a part of yourself that

9:14

you toned down because you felt

9:16

like you needed to, to get their acceptance,

9:18

approval and perceived love. So

9:20

this is often what we do, especially

9:22

as women, we sacrifice our liberation for

9:24

perceived love and we put ourselves back

9:26

into the cage, back into the muzzle,

9:28

which so many women have been in for thousands

9:31

of years, because when a woman was outspoken, when

9:33

she was allowed, when she was in her pleasure,

9:35

where she was in her power, they

9:38

put her in the mental asylum. They burned her at

9:40

the stake. They covered her up. So

9:42

we have had thousands of years now of

9:44

conditioning in this 2000 plus year patriarchal era

9:46

that it is not safe for me to

9:49

be expressed. It is not safe for me

9:51

to be free. And I find that when

9:53

you're single, it like removes that and like

9:55

to really be like single, single, like not

9:57

kind of dating anyone just like in your

10:00

own energy. So there's no one that you're

10:02

like trying to impress with your stories and

10:04

like putting up the thirst trap so they

10:06

like it and you're like, Oh

10:08

my God, how much freaking time do we

10:10

guys spend on who watched our Instagram stories?

10:13

Like, can we just like collectively decide to

10:15

not do that anymore? Because I

10:17

saw me going into it. I was like, yo, this is

10:19

a fucking time suck. Like the

10:21

one thing I will say is about being

10:23

single is it takes a lot of your

10:26

mental currency, especially when you're like newer

10:28

to it. And that it's after a while I

10:31

was like, I can't like, I

10:33

need to focus on my right now, you know, so, so

10:36

be in your full expression, but not for the

10:39

approval, not for the story view, not for getting

10:41

that little hit that validation for him, but for

10:43

you. And so I find

10:45

like really like not dating anyone and just

10:47

being in your own energy field allows you

10:49

to make decisions for yourself and not to

10:52

try to attract or gain the approval or

10:55

the attention of anyone else. So

10:57

then you can try on these different identities

10:59

of yourself, whether it is through travel, going

11:01

to different places, you know, like I've been

11:03

living here in London, totally exploring my Harry

11:05

Potter side. And then I'm going back to

11:07

Bali. I'm going back to my wild woman

11:09

and, you know, going back to Trinidad. I'm

11:11

physically going to these places that activate different

11:13

parts of me, but it

11:15

can also just be through friendship groups that you

11:17

have, you know, maybe you have your friends that

11:20

you are, your dance friends, your friends that are

11:22

your painter friends, your friends that are your photography

11:24

friends. Maybe you go to events

11:26

festivals. I find festivals are such a great

11:28

way to tap into a certain frequency. Like

11:31

you go to Burning Man. It's a very specific

11:33

frequency versus medicine festival

11:36

is one frequency and invasions

11:39

that other frequency, lightning in a bottle is

11:41

a different frequency. Coachella is a different frequency.

11:43

So I find festivals are really great way

11:45

of like being in a physical place that

11:47

is often even in your own country where

11:49

you're surrounded by people of that shared culture

11:51

and value. You can like be

11:54

your hippie self, be your rave self, be

11:56

your disself, be your that self and get

11:58

to know the people. those

12:00

sides of you that you may

12:02

just, it's like that part of you that,

12:04

for example, you have a muscle, you just

12:06

haven't worked in a very, very long time. And it's like,

12:08

oh, my tricep is pretty weak. There

12:10

may be aspects of your identity that

12:12

have weakened because in relationship you have

12:14

suppressed them. So try

12:17

on different identities, try on characters, even the way that

12:19

you dress, the friends that

12:21

you have, these are all things that can help. The

12:23

next way to make the most out of being

12:25

single is to look at your limiting beliefs. So

12:28

a limiting belief is a belief that you have something

12:30

that you believe to be true. You don't even know

12:32

it's a belief. It's just like a program running in

12:35

your brain. So imagine like your

12:37

brain is a computer and you have all these different

12:39

programs that you have downloaded at a certain period. So

12:42

one of the programs might be, I

12:44

can never be rich and do

12:46

what I love. Another program might

12:48

be, well, men don't like loud

12:51

woman. Another program might be, you

12:54

know, life is always pain and suffering, you

12:56

know? And these are all things that maybe

12:58

you were told as a child. You

13:01

saw play out in your family. You

13:03

saw play out in movies, in society.

13:05

So you have just believed

13:07

them to be true. And we all have

13:10

them and continue to have them. And

13:12

it's not, a lot of them are planted in

13:14

our childhood, but like, as we go through life,

13:16

and I find that with these limiting beliefs, when

13:19

you have them, you start looking for evidence to

13:21

make that belief true because we all want to

13:23

be right in our minds. So

13:27

let's say I have this belief of, I

13:29

will never be met by a man because

13:32

men are all emotionally unavailable. And

13:34

that's just the belief that I have because my

13:36

dad was emotionally unavailable and I only saw emotionally

13:38

unavailable men. And I don't know, it just seems

13:41

that they're all like that. So that's my belief.

13:43

Now, if I don't question that belief and

13:46

unravel it, then guess who

13:48

I'm going to forever attract, emotionally

13:50

unavailable men, because I will want to prove myself

13:53

right. And so I could

13:55

say, see, they're all emotionally unavailable. I

13:57

keep finding them, but it's because

13:59

I have this program. in this belief that's

14:01

only making me like download those type

14:03

of people. So then

14:05

I can create evidence of the contrary. And

14:07

I literally, this was actually one of mine.

14:09

So I started to make lists

14:11

of men that I knew that were emotionally

14:14

available. And when I say emotionally available, I

14:16

mean men that I could like be myself

14:18

around, communicate with, like have like an actual

14:20

like level of conversation I would want to

14:22

have with a girlfriend to have with a

14:24

man. And I

14:26

was finding a lot of people, a lot

14:28

of my friends, partners, friends that I have,

14:30

friends who've been on this podcast. And I'm

14:32

like, Oh, wow, I have like 30 people

14:34

right now written here. So how can I

14:36

say all men are emotionally unavailable when I

14:39

have 30 men that I personally

14:41

know, who, again, I don't

14:43

know everything about them. I don't know what

14:45

they're like in relationship, but I can say

14:47

they have taught me things. I've had deep

14:49

conversations with them. I have felt their vulnerability

14:52

and they have all showed me a beautiful side

14:54

of the masculine. So that

14:56

creates evidence in my mind. So that

14:58

anytime any little stinges of the men

15:01

are emotionally unavailable thing comes up, I

15:03

can refer to my list and

15:05

say, Oh no, that's actually not true. Right?

15:08

So what are the beliefs that are holding

15:10

you back? You know, maybe it's

15:12

this belief of I'm going to die single. I'm

15:15

just going to be single forever. Like, you

15:17

know, I think then we perpetuate it by, we

15:21

have our guard up the moment you meet someone. You

15:23

already are thinking this is never going to work. Relationships

15:26

don't work for me. So you're

15:28

already trying to find the flaw in that person.

15:31

And then guess what? First of all, you might

15:33

energetically even block any,

15:35

any talking from happening. They might actually

15:37

just ghost you. I find when you're

15:39

being ghosted, there's typically some sort

15:41

of energetic block or protection that's happening. So

15:44

if you're like, I'm going to be single forever, dating

15:46

doesn't work for me. You're just going to keep attracting

15:49

situations like that and perpetuates the belief. So

15:51

what do you say? Well, actually it does work

15:53

for me. It has worked for me because you've

15:55

dated someone before, you know, if you

15:58

have. So there's bully there. there's

16:00

some evidence right there, oh, I actually have dated someone

16:02

before. And maybe even

16:04

looking at maybe I'm choosing people who are

16:06

not ready to date, who

16:08

are just coming

16:11

out of long term relationships, who live on the

16:13

other side of the world, you know, I think

16:15

oftentimes who we're attracted to can give us a

16:17

lot of information about where we're at. So if

16:20

you're continuing to find long

16:22

distance partnerships, it's like what part

16:24

of you doesn't feel ready to find someone that lives

16:26

where you are, you know,

16:28

maybe a part of you is actually self

16:30

sabotaging it because you actually don't want to

16:32

be fully met. You

16:35

actually don't feel fully ready. Like I see a lot

16:37

of women talking about I want to be with a

16:39

conscious man. Well,

16:41

conscious man is going to likely call

16:44

you out on your shit. And

16:46

he's going to bring up some shadows. And

16:48

he's going you're not going to be the smartest person

16:51

in the room anymore. And I think like especially spiritual

16:53

women, we're like so used to being like the teacher

16:55

and the healer and like the person that knows it

16:57

all that when we're actually like fully met by someone

16:59

who's like, like seeing our

17:01

shadows, it can be so confronting that

17:04

we push those people away. And then

17:07

so we look for the person who's emotionally

17:09

unavailable, the person who's not willing to date

17:11

because we actually feel safer because we're not

17:13

being fully seen. Right?

17:15

So we're actually we're perpetuating this belief of

17:17

all men are emotionally unavailable, I want the

17:19

conscious man, we're staying away from the conscious

17:21

man because we don't fully want to be

17:23

seen ourselves. So

17:25

this is the importance of questioning our beliefs.

17:28

You are in your life based on your beliefs,

17:30

your your life is a reflection of your beliefs.

17:32

If you don't like something in your life, there's

17:34

something in your beliefs that need to be adjusted,

17:36

period. And we

17:38

all need to take responsibility for that. You

17:41

know, like, yes, there are factors that are out of

17:43

our control 100%. But there are people right now

17:46

who are living completely

17:49

different realities. And a lot of the

17:51

reason why is they've shifted beliefs. And

17:54

even in your own lifetime, you have lived many

17:56

different realities. I'm sure you have had many different

17:58

lives in this one. life and

18:01

they all started from you changing your beliefs. So

18:04

being single is the best time to

18:06

do all this deep inner healing work,

18:08

to write out what are all my

18:10

beliefs around men or women, whoever it

18:12

is that you're wanting to be in

18:14

a relationship with. What

18:16

are all my beliefs around them? And

18:18

then question that, is it true? Is

18:21

it helpful? How can

18:24

I create evidence of the actual opposite of this is

18:26

true? And

18:29

then once you do that, then the belief no longer

18:31

has any hold of you anymore. And then you can

18:33

start to see every single person for the unique snowflake

18:35

that they are rather

18:37

than from this lens that you

18:39

are automatically comparting them into. Oh,

18:42

you're a narcissist. Oh, you're most unavailable. Oh, you're

18:44

a cheater. Oh, you're this. It's like, we don't

18:46

even take time to get to know someone anymore

18:48

because we're like looking for the thing that's going

18:50

to go wrong to protect ourselves. But

18:53

bring me into the next thing that being

18:56

single is the best time to open your heart. So

19:00

a lot of people, and I have a really

19:02

different stance on being single than like most of

19:04

this thing. To me, like

19:08

being in relationship versus being single, I actually

19:10

prefer being in relationship and I don't have

19:12

any shame around saying that. And I

19:15

feel like a lot of times in like the single

19:17

space, you're supposed to be like, being single is amazing.

19:19

Like be single forever. And some people feel that way.

19:21

Like I have some friends that they fucking love being

19:23

single. Like for me, I love this chapter of my

19:25

life, but I know I'm meant to be in partnership.

19:27

Like that feels true for me. I

19:29

know this lifetime for me is about

19:31

sacred union and it is about having

19:34

a dharmic relationship where we are creating

19:36

something larger together. And

19:38

I believe in love and I believe in romance and I am

19:40

a lover girl at my heart. And

19:42

I know the only way that I can truly have that is

19:45

by loving myself and

19:48

loving being alone and

19:50

loving my solitude and knowing myself and

19:52

doing the inner healing work. So I

19:54

cannot just find, but hold a level

19:56

of relationship with that. That is truly

19:59

an integrity where. all parts of me

20:01

are being seen and activated and I am not

20:03

in hiding. I can't do that if I'm just

20:05

trying to bounce and be in a relationship to

20:07

be in one period. Like

20:09

the type of relationship that I

20:11

am calling in requires deep levels

20:14

of reflection and nosis

20:16

and alignment. And

20:19

as I'm quantum leaping in my

20:21

own expression of myself, it's like thank

20:23

goddess for that because whoever it is

20:26

that I is meeting that version of me.

20:28

And I'm so grateful they haven't met a

20:31

former version of me because I've already

20:33

transcended that. So when you're

20:35

doing this single healing

20:37

work, you are like

20:40

moving up elevators of

20:42

consciousness. And let's say I moved up

20:44

like at the breakup, I was at the ground floor and

20:46

I'm just like total heartbreak. And then I move up to

20:50

the third floor. And now I'm like, okay, I'm kind

20:52

of over the crunch of the heartbreak, but there's still

20:55

some anger and still some distrust. And then I get

20:57

into a relationship right then because I don't want to

20:59

be alone, which I see a lot of people do.

21:02

Well, guess what happens? You're on the

21:04

distrust floor. Guess what the lesson

21:06

of that relationship is just going to be? You

21:09

named it. Do you really

21:11

want to spend another year of our life going down

21:13

that pathway again? Do we really want to? No. So

21:16

imagine if instead I'm like, okay, I can start to

21:19

smell the stinges of this distress. I'm going to choose

21:21

to not, I'm going to choose to be within myself,

21:24

go deeper within, do the inner healing work.

21:26

And now I'm on level seven, maybe level

21:28

seven is, you know, another lesson

21:30

of to be loved, I have to be a certain

21:32

way. So I can find

21:34

myself, I found this person, I'm very attracted to them, but

21:37

I'm putting myself back into the box. I'm

21:39

saying the things that I think they'd like. I'm dressing the

21:41

way that I think they would find attractive. I'm limiting how

21:43

I share myself on social media. So let's say

21:46

you enter into that relationship. Well, you're going to

21:48

have to put yourself in a box relationship or

21:52

you're not being your full self and guess what's

21:54

going to happen. You might get into the relationship, but

21:57

a year, two, five, however many

21:59

left. in, you're

22:02

going to have the exact same problem

22:04

of, wow, I don't feel fully seen

22:06

in my relationship. This person doesn't understand

22:08

me. And who's to

22:10

blame? Because

22:12

we weren't being our full selves when we entered

22:14

that relationship. We were wearing a mask. So

22:17

if we're wearing a mask, we're trying to be the pick me girl

22:19

to get this first thing to like me. Well, they're

22:22

like, okay, this is who I think you are. And then

22:25

we're like, Oh, no, no, no, that was just a mask for you to

22:27

get into relationship with me. This is actually who I am. You don't love

22:29

it. They're like, who are you? So this

22:32

is us. This is ourselves self-sabotaging ourselves

22:35

of like, just wanting to be in

22:37

the relationship at any odds possible. But

22:39

then eventually the truth will always come

22:41

out. And personally,

22:44

I would rather move through

22:46

less and faster than spend years

22:48

of my life. And coming back to

22:50

square one. Do

22:54

you hear that song playing in the background?

22:56

That is my new song, Divana that I

22:58

produce and wrote using instruments where

23:00

my mom is from the south of

23:03

Iran, which is considered Afro Iranian, because

23:05

we're blended in with the different elements

23:07

of East Africa paired with a vibey

23:09

Afro house beat. So I grew up

23:11

listening to this tribal style of music.

23:14

And I wanted to create a song

23:16

that could modernize it and bring these ancient

23:19

instruments into our lives. Because the

23:21

truth is we are all indigenous to

23:23

Mother Earth. And when we hear these

23:26

ancient instruments, it awakens something within us.

23:29

So I'm so excited to share music

23:31

from my lineage with you and bring

23:33

it to life in this brand new

23:35

way. So you can stream Divana, which

23:37

means to perform crazy for the design

23:39

in Farsi on Spotify, Apple,

23:41

iTunes, wherever you listen to music.

23:44

And I'm curious, what does this

23:46

song evoke in you? You can

23:48

find the link to listen to it in the show notes.

23:51

And I'm super excited to share a piece of my heart

23:53

and lineage with you. So

24:03

I find that the longer I remain in

24:06

this void and doing this healing work

24:08

and trusting that the people that I might

24:10

I will I will feel when it feels

24:12

right. And I find

24:15

that as you really refine

24:17

your frequency, you start to

24:19

like, fine tune little things that

24:21

it's like you're you're actually now meeting like

24:24

amazing man or woman, you're meeting people that

24:26

it's like, wow, it's like everything

24:28

I was looking for, except this one

24:30

thing that's like a real deal breaker,

24:32

you know, and then that's when you know, you're getting

24:34

close. When you're like, wow,

24:37

I didn't think a person like this actually

24:39

existed. And here they are. But

24:41

I'm not willing to settle

24:43

on this thing. I'm not willing to compromise. And

24:46

I don't mean like their style, like I think

24:48

stuff like that we like overplay like, oh my

24:50

god, like I got the ick because of their

24:52

like Velcro wallet, like, bitch, like look at me

24:54

wallet, you know, style, their hair, things like that,

24:56

that don't matter. But if

24:58

they're like, I really want to have kids and you don't want

25:00

kids, or you really want to

25:02

travel and they can't travel, they're not interested

25:05

in travel, or you know, in your

25:07

relationship, you want to create with someone, they they're

25:09

not interested in that, like things that for you

25:11

are like big deal breakers, which is different for

25:13

every person, I would say, you know, how you

25:16

want to live your life is probably the biggest deal breaker.

25:18

You know, if you if you have a vision for yourself

25:21

that you want to have children and live on a farm,

25:23

and that sounds like that person's nightmare. But

25:25

they're everything else that you want. It's like, are

25:27

you willing to compromise on your vision for your life? And

25:30

again, maybe you're not set on that vision.

25:32

Maybe that's a new vision for you. So

25:35

you explore that relationship. But if you know,

25:37

like, this is where I see myself going.

25:40

And they're like, that would totally not

25:42

work for me. It's a heartbreak. But

25:44

sometimes the best thing that you can do is

25:46

just to set each other free. You know,

25:49

and I find that what happens sometimes

25:51

is like we just like want to

25:53

be in the love so bad that we're like

25:55

willing to then compromise of like, Oh, sure, like

25:57

I live in like the middle of Michigan where

25:59

it's free. freezing and cold, even though I told

26:01

myself I was going to be single and moved

26:03

to Hawaii, but I met you, so I'll do

26:05

this. And again, maybe

26:07

it doesn't matter to you and you're flexible

26:09

on that. And great, you know, trust

26:12

the intelligence of love. Or maybe

26:14

it was your test of

26:16

like, you have this vision of

26:18

creating a retreat center in Hawaii. Are you

26:21

going to stand true to that vision? Or are you

26:23

going to have scarcity mindset of, well, I'm never going

26:25

to find love again. He lives in

26:27

Michigan. So let me just drop my Dharma

26:29

and be with this person. So

26:32

there's like, and I can't answer

26:34

that question of like Hawaii or Michigan. It

26:37

depends on where the energy is coming from. Is

26:40

it coming from scarcity? You know, I feel like

26:42

often when we're single, we like go into the

26:44

scarcity thing of like, I'm never going

26:46

to find someone like this is it. Let me just like settle.

26:50

And that puts us on these floors

26:52

of the elevator where we're like stuck in these

26:54

karmic relationships. And on the other

26:57

end of the spectrum, there's the I want this, this, this,

26:59

this, this, this, that, and if it's all these things, I'm

27:01

not even going to look your way. And

27:03

I see people like that. And they are single

27:06

for the rest of their lives, because the perfect

27:08

person also doesn't exist. So it's

27:10

like, where are you in the spectrum? Are you

27:12

such a perfectionist with what you're looking for that

27:14

maybe there's an amazing person, but they're just not

27:16

your type that you just get

27:18

to open up and give a chance to

27:20

or maybe you're not even letting them into

27:22

your field because you're so holding on tightly

27:24

to who this person is supposed to be.

27:27

Then open up trust flow, surrender, let go.

27:29

Or maybe you're

27:31

in relationship after relationship. And

27:34

there's toxicity, there's karmic patterns, because you

27:36

don't want to be alone, you have

27:38

scarcity mindset. It's not

27:40

settling. So just really, it's like we're all in

27:42

different places in the spectrum at different times. So

27:45

being single is the best time for you to

27:47

find your own sovereignty of being

27:50

open to a relationship even desiring, I

27:52

can claim that I desire to be

27:54

in relationship I desire to be in

27:57

partnership. I love sacred

27:59

union and I love love, love, and that

28:01

doesn't make me weak or, or

28:04

anti-feminist or anything like that. Like I

28:06

do believe there's like a special place

28:08

in our heart for romantic love. And,

28:11

you know, I remember this like healer

28:14

lady, I was telling her this,

28:16

I was like, I just really feel this like

28:18

deep feminine yearning for love. And she's like, you

28:20

just got to love yourself. You just got to

28:23

love yourself. And I'm like, I do love myself

28:25

and I will continue to love myself. And I

28:27

mean, the life I've created is obviously a embodiment

28:29

of how much I love myself, you know? But

28:32

it's like telling someone, oh, you

28:34

don't need friends, just love yourself. You don't

28:36

need friends. It's like, you

28:38

can love yourself and there's a need for

28:40

friends. And again, not everyone wants romantic partnership.

28:43

I can only seek from my own experience

28:45

and from friends that I have close

28:47

to me. But I think a lot of us, we do want it.

28:49

And I think being single can also

28:51

be our chance to like claim that, you know,

28:53

we don't need to harden when we're single. We

28:55

don't need to be like, I don't need no

28:57

man ever. It's like,

29:00

you don't need a man. That's true. But

29:03

do you want one? And

29:06

where's the want coming from? If

29:09

it's like, I want one because I don't want to feel alone.

29:12

That's coming from a more shadowy place. It's going to play

29:14

out some old karmic patterns. If it's,

29:18

I know I can love being alone and,

29:20

you know, being single is the best time

29:22

to learn how to love being alone. Like

29:24

traveling by yourself, going to restaurants by

29:26

yourself, going to festivals by yourself. I

29:29

have so learned to be alone so

29:31

much that I like to travel. I go on

29:33

like full excursions by myself. Like

29:35

I was like in the desert on this

29:38

like thing alone, like eating the dinner. And

29:40

yeah, there were some moments that I would

29:42

like see like couples or like families together

29:44

and I'm like by myself, but I'm like,

29:47

you know, and resisting the temptation, like be

29:49

on your phone and distract yourself. I was just like,

29:51

wow, I get to experience this for me. And I

29:53

don't have to like have

29:55

a small talk or like be in conversation and like

29:57

really just do this for me. And

29:59

I have. I have loved solo

30:01

travel so much. It's brought me so deep

30:03

into myself that even when I'm in a

30:06

relationship, I'm gonna continue doing solo travel as

30:08

well because I find it is such

30:10

a good way of getting to know yourself because

30:12

you're confronted with different things, you're out of your

30:15

comfort zone, you're thinking in new ways, and then

30:17

you also open up to meeting people that you

30:19

would have never met before as well. So

30:22

learning how to love being by yourself.

30:26

So then when you are in partnership and

30:29

to me it's like changing this idea

30:32

of like, oh my God, what if I'm single

30:34

forever? Of like trusting that love will always find

30:36

you. You need to go

30:38

out looking for love, trusting that love will find you

30:41

when you are ready, when they are ready, and

30:43

instead enjoying this chapter. That you

30:46

don't know how long it's gonna last because the moment you meet

30:48

someone, like it's on, you know, and you can't go

30:50

back. And what I like hear from a

30:52

lot of my friends who were single for a while and then

30:54

they're in a relationship, they're like, damn,

30:56

I wish I enjoyed being single longer.

30:59

And I wish I enjoyed it more. Because

31:02

when you're single, you know, there

31:04

is that like sometimes you're just like, oh my God, like

31:06

I just want to find my person, like I'd get me

31:08

out of this. And then when you

31:11

find them, which you will, you're

31:13

like, damn, I had so much freedom. You know,

31:15

I had so much free time. Like I was

31:17

doing all this healing work. Like I was like

31:19

having so much fun. I was so open. Like

31:22

that's what I love about being single. It's like, you

31:24

are so much more open to life. Like

31:27

I would have never gone on the adventures that I had gone on

31:29

this year had I been in a relationship. And like,

31:32

just like random things. Like when you're

31:34

single, I think part of it

31:36

is like the dangling carrot of like you might meet someone.

31:39

So it's like a Friday night. You're not likely

31:41

going to just like, you know, the whole weekend

31:43

like sit at home and like do nothing. Again,

31:45

maybe when you're in the healing process, yes. But

31:47

when you're like, well, like, cause there's different chapters

31:49

of being single as well. I want to include

31:51

that. So like the

31:54

first part of being single and leaving a

31:56

relationship, you're healing. You're not even really single.

31:59

And it... can last different lengths according

32:01

to the relationship, how long you were in

32:03

it, what the breakup was like. Like I

32:05

would say for me the first six months

32:07

I wasn't even really single, I was healing.

32:10

You know, because there were just a lot of

32:12

layers and I took it as an opportunity to

32:15

do all the ancestral work, the inner child's work,

32:17

like the deepest work of my

32:20

lineage and lifetime. So

32:22

I wasn't even in a place

32:25

of like thinking about dating whatsoever.

32:27

Then after six months I started to

32:29

like open up to that, like not like

32:31

seeking it, but like I'm open if

32:34

it happens. So oftentimes like after

32:36

a breakup we're like, oh no I'm single.

32:38

It's like you're not actually, you're in healing.

32:40

Then there comes that part of like you're when

32:42

you're single that you're no longer healing, you're no

32:44

longer processing, you're no longer really even like thinking

32:46

about the other person anymore and you're

32:49

just like fully in your own energy. And I would say

32:51

that that's the part that we like shorten

32:53

and we like skip. And it's such

32:55

a special time because it's you're not

32:58

still, you're not in the grief, it's not painful anymore. You're

33:00

just like, you're just like doing you, you're just like waking

33:03

up when you want, you set the temperature when

33:05

you want, you can like pull podcasts out loud,

33:07

you can you know put your face socks on.

33:09

Like I freaking love that. Like at first I

33:11

was like, oh my god, I'm like waking up

33:13

by myself. And like I would like wake up

33:15

and cry. And now I'm just like, ah,

33:17

it's so nice. I'm gonna

33:19

hold back some warm and toasty in

33:22

here. Like that's like the nice part.

33:24

You get to have things your way.

33:26

And I think we then it's like

33:28

then you start feeling good and then you're magnetic

33:30

and then that's often when you meet someone and

33:32

then you're like, damn it. Like I was actually

33:34

feeling really good being single. I'm like, that's when

33:36

I met the person and you know, trusting divine

33:38

timing. But I find that we like don't

33:41

fully enjoy that period to the

33:43

max. And so I ended

33:45

up going on all these adventures where before you know

33:47

when you're in a relationship, let's be

33:49

real. Are you going to do your hair, do your

33:51

makeup, put on a nice outfit, put on some high

33:54

heels and leave the house at

33:56

10pm? I

33:58

have to say I for sure was not. doing

34:00

that. I still don't really do that. But I

34:02

am more likely to and there are times that

34:04

I have very proud of myself for that because

34:07

it's like that dangling carrot of like, I might

34:09

meet someone like I can't be single staying at

34:11

home. Like let me go out and explore. And

34:14

then like most of the time you don't

34:16

meet anyone, but you have a fun

34:18

adventure and like my friend, I met this

34:20

amazing woman here in London who's she's about

34:22

to come in on the next episode for the

34:25

podcast and her and I have just become

34:27

like London besties and we just went our we

34:29

went to Portugal together and we went like

34:31

kayaking and then caves and we were like

34:33

pulling Oracle cards. But like also we go to

34:35

concerts together and festivals together in carnivals. And

34:37

it's like we're like, you know, we're both

34:39

single and we're both in that chapter of like,

34:41

just like enjoying our own energy and like,

34:43

you know, loving being single right now. So it's

34:46

like we've like become like our own partners with each

34:48

other and doing all the things that you think you

34:50

need a romantic partner to do with you, but you

34:52

actually can have like just a really close friend do

34:54

with you. So that has

34:57

been so much fun of just like letting myself

34:59

be girly and silly and playful. And you know,

35:01

like her and I, we went to the Notting

35:03

Hill Carnival, which is like the carnival here and

35:06

we were just like, anytime someone would talk to

35:08

us, I would like make up a funny accent

35:10

or a voice and just like, they were just

35:12

like, um, are you okay? And just scare them

35:14

off and like do weird things. And these are

35:16

the kind of things you honestly can't do with

35:19

a guy, you know, like they don't get it.

35:21

Like they don't get our humor. So

35:24

I loved doing that because it's like, yes, before

35:26

I would definitely hang out with my girlfriends when

35:28

I was in the relationship, but not for like

35:30

the extended periods of time, the way that I

35:33

am when I'm single. It's like when you're single,

35:35

it's like your girls are your fucking family. Like

35:37

you're telling them everything. You go so deep with

35:39

each other. And especially like single woman to single

35:41

woman, it's like we get each other on another

35:43

level. It's like a different type of humor. It's

35:46

a different kind of memes you're sending different references.

35:48

Like I know you guys felt me on the

35:50

who watched your story thing. Like it's like a

35:52

specific genre, you know,

35:54

and it's made

35:56

me so much more in my feminine because

35:59

I. find when you're in relationship,

36:02

you kind of like depolarize, like you

36:04

become very much like your partner. So

36:07

like you kind of have to adapt if you're in

36:09

a female with a male and partner, you

36:11

kind of have to adapt to them. So it's

36:13

like you kind of have to like find movies

36:16

that you both like or things that you both

36:18

like to do. So you kind of do things

36:20

that are maybe a little bit more masculine, they

36:22

are doing things a little bit more feminine, and

36:24

you're also like energetically around each other all the

36:26

time. So instead of there being polarity, which is

36:28

separation difference between masculine and feminine, you become

36:31

more similar because you're bonding, you're connecting, you

36:33

become family. And this is like a natural

36:36

progression that happens in relationship. It's biological,

36:38

it's how we create children. So

36:40

there's nothing wrong with it. It's just, you

36:43

know, after time, you

36:45

do lose that spark and you

36:47

have to work towards creating that

36:49

polarity in the relationship. So

36:52

how do you create the polarity? You spend time

36:54

by yourself. So I have

36:56

found now in spending this whole year by myself,

36:58

I am so in my feminine, like I am

37:01

like not just like girly, but like I

37:03

feel I'm so much more sensitive. I like

37:05

listen to music. I like long for things

37:08

more. I was like so much more trusting.

37:10

I'm so much more easy going. I'm like

37:12

sexier. I'm more sensual. I feel things where

37:14

I feel pleasure more. Like my interests have

37:16

shifted. Like my voice has shifted. I'm singing,

37:18

I'm rapping, I'm wearing cute outfits. I got

37:20

amazing hair. It's a fucking vibe

37:22

up in here. And it

37:25

would have not been this way. I've been

37:27

in the relationship and it keeps getting better.

37:29

So honey, keep giving it to me, you

37:31

know? So that's the kind

37:33

of swag that you only get when you're

37:35

single, when you just do it, you and

37:38

I fucking love it because it makes you fall

37:40

in love with you. And like ultimately,

37:43

that's what this love story is about. It's about

37:45

you loving you. We think it's about the

37:47

guy, like, especially like

37:50

the first few months of being single for me, it was like,

37:52

I went on these apps like, Oh God, I had to delete

37:54

Hid. It was just train wreck

37:56

after train wreck on there. I mean, Oh, for

37:58

real? This is a general population. But like I

38:01

found this like like at

38:03

first like this like almost like naivete in myself

38:06

It's like oh my god, like I met someone

38:08

he seems amazing like maybe this is the one

38:10

I never met this person This

38:12

is like I'm in love with a stranger But

38:15

his pictures were so good and like what he wrote about himself.

38:17

It feels like a perfect fit, right? And

38:19

then like after you know, what I've learned is do a

38:21

face time. Don't even meet them in person until you do

38:24

a face time Likely

38:27

Not gonna want to meet in person. Sometimes you might though.

38:29

There are some marriages that have happened on hinge. I've seen

38:31

it happen But

38:34

I have found that that

38:36

like naive maiden energy in

38:38

me has sort of Dissolved

38:42

of like maybe it's him. Is he

38:45

the one could it be him? It's like, you don't like

38:47

I love this This is like at this

38:49

point if you're listening to this you're fucking single There's

38:52

no way or it's in a relationship would be listing

38:54

this dude. We're getting a specific hair, but

38:56

it's like When everyone you meet you're

38:58

like in that quest thing and like is it him?

39:00

Is it him? Is it him and there's such an

39:03

energy of desperation with that, you know of like You

39:06

really just want this thing to work and then

39:09

You learn a little bit more information about

39:12

them You realize they're not it and the

39:14

heartbreak that happens and it's like

39:16

the heartbreak of this like fantasy that you had It's

39:18

not even like you weren't even with that person

39:20

like You probably haven't even

39:23

met that person like I had people on hinge

39:25

or in these apps I thought were this way

39:27

and then Realized

39:29

they're not and then it's like you have to like

39:31

grieve the fantasy relationship you create in your head, you

39:33

know so at first I was like doing that and

39:35

I was really you know, this shit ain't healthy and

39:39

now I'm just in the place of just like I Would

39:42

only want to be with someone that I have like

39:44

a mutual friend with or I don't know

39:46

someone is out for them I just feel

39:49

like meeting like a stranger on the internet

39:51

that I have like nothing in common with

39:53

again I met my ex on bumble. I

39:55

would say one of the biggest obstacles in

39:57

our relationship was we did not have the

39:59

same friends We did not vibe

40:01

with the same people. We're not of the

40:03

same culture, the same community. And I want

40:05

someone who is conscious, someone who I can

40:07

have these kinds of conversations with because

40:10

it's what I do. And that's something I'm not willing

40:12

to compromise on. And so for myself,

40:14

I would rather it be slower and just

40:18

have the spaciousness of the in-between and be

40:20

in my own energy field and

40:22

find someone who there's shared community,

40:24

there's shared values. I like their friends because their

40:26

friends are a reflection of them and their friends

40:29

are who you're going to end up spending your

40:31

time with. It really does make a huge difference.

40:34

You can't be an island on your own. I really

40:36

learned that in my past relationship of like, you may

40:38

really love that person, but like they come with their

40:40

friends, their family, the people around them. And if you

40:42

don't accept that, you're not accepting them. So

40:47

instead of being in that like, could it be him? Could it be

40:49

them? I think like online

40:51

dating has like really messed with our

40:53

psychology, you know, because it gives

40:55

us this like idea that there's like so many

40:57

fish out in the sea at first. And

40:59

then you're like, wait, now I see why they're all on this

41:01

app. And

41:05

then it's like, there's no one. So it's

41:07

like, there's everyone, there's no one. And it's

41:09

like these extremes. And we don't get to

41:11

know the nuance of a person and their

41:13

humanity. And like, what

41:16

I have found like, it's interesting because a friend

41:19

of mine, I won't say he

41:21

or she, they live in, they live

41:23

in Bali and they were around

41:26

another friend of theirs and they were like

41:28

working together, spending time. They were friends, but

41:30

there was like nothing romantic going on between

41:32

them for years. They

41:34

just knew each other. And then all

41:37

of a sudden something changed and now they're in a

41:39

relationship. And I'm like,

41:41

wow, that could have never happened on a dating

41:43

app. Or if you're supposed to meet someone one

41:45

time and like have this love at first sight,

41:48

because it took them being around each other for like two,

41:50

three years. And then like all of

41:52

a sudden something shifted and they start to see each

41:54

other in this different way because they went through different

41:56

life experiences together. They changed, they were vulnerable, they were

41:59

honest with each other. each other.

42:01

And to me, that's really inspiring

42:03

because when you're friends with someone, you're not

42:05

wearing the mask that like we talked about

42:07

of like, pick me like I'm perfect. But

42:10

like, you're just yourself, you're not like, waiting

42:14

six hours to respond to their text because they took

42:16

six hours to respond to yours. You're not playing these

42:19

stupid games, you know, you're just like, Oh, you

42:21

saw your text, you respond right away. You're

42:23

sharing the parts of yourself that you feel like won't

42:25

be accepted. You're being vulnerable, you're being honest. And I

42:27

feel like to have that

42:30

foundation, and then it turns into

42:32

something more that really has salinity

42:34

that has roots and broken always

42:36

happen. I don't know

42:38

how will happen for me. I'll let you guys know

42:40

when I know. But I'm like, that's the one thing

42:42

I wish I had had because I do believe at

42:45

the end of the day, your partner, it's your friend,

42:47

it's your best friend. And if you don't have a

42:49

strong foundation of a friendship, you

42:51

know, the chemistry and the romance and things like

42:54

that, it doesn't go away. But it's

42:56

it's not as easily cultivated as

42:58

it is at the beginning. It requires

43:00

it requires effort on both parties, you

43:02

know, and having a strong friendship

43:05

is going to make you put in that effort. So

43:09

my like hypothesis is that it

43:11

is harder to date in big

43:13

cities, and it is in small

43:15

towns. Because in big cities, you're

43:17

constantly meeting new people all the time. So you're

43:19

like, Oh, my god, like I'm in New York,

43:21

there's millions of people here, I must meet someone.

43:23

And I was like, yes, there's millions of

43:25

people, but everyone has the mindset of there's millions of people.

43:27

So then they

43:30

meet someone and then they're like, I don't know, I

43:32

didn't really like this, this and that about them. So

43:34

they don't give them another chance. Whereas when you're in

43:36

a small town, it's like, okay,

43:38

well, I know the you know, 10,000 people

43:41

who live here. And this

43:44

is the kind of the demographic of people I even

43:46

could be in relationship with. And it's

43:48

not that you settle, but it's like you grow in

43:51

love, you know, and I think that's like so much

43:53

of what love is. It's like we don't give ourselves

43:55

a chance to grow in love. I mean, how

43:58

new is dating? You know, it's like

44:00

we asked like this thing about like dating. Oh, you have to date

44:02

a bunch of people to find the one. Dating

44:05

is a very new concept. You

44:07

know, like our parents didn't even really

44:09

date. Like some did,

44:12

but I mean, my parents didn't.

44:14

They like met and two months later got married, but

44:17

this idea, especially online dating is completely new,

44:19

but this idea of like, you have to kiss a

44:21

lot of frogs to find your friends. I don't subscribe

44:23

to that. Like in my life,

44:25

I have always known what I want. And

44:28

I don't like feed myself like junk food,

44:30

you know, like if

44:32

I want to eat sushi, I won't

44:35

eat McDonald's before, but I'm going to wait

44:37

for sushi, you know? And even

44:39

in life, like I applied for one college and that's where

44:41

I went. And I

44:44

feel like that's why I have like done things in

44:46

my life and like a faster and easier, more seamless

44:48

way, because I'm not like, I don't know. Well, let

44:50

me try this and they try that. And like, maybe

44:52

it's there, maybe it's there. It's like, I just feel

44:54

like we waste so much time. It's like, be clear

44:56

of what you want and what you're calling in and

44:58

then put your energy on yourself and your own healing

45:00

and your own growth and your own expression, your own

45:03

creativity to then actually be a vibrational match for that

45:05

person, because let's

45:07

say you want to date someone who you

45:09

deem as, you know, a high value man, which

45:11

by the way, I hate that term, high value

45:14

man, high value woman, because it's like, we all,

45:16

we're all valuable, but whatever. Let's say it's your,

45:18

your ideal person of who you're calling in. Would

45:22

that person be

45:24

a match for someone who has spent the past

45:26

two years of their life going on a hundred

45:29

plus days, like every weekend,

45:32

they're on like two days. Their life is around

45:34

dating or someone that spent

45:36

two years of their lives mastering their

45:38

craft and healing

45:41

and being of service and

45:44

being in a state of joy and doing the

45:46

things that make them come alive. Would

45:50

you want to date someone who their only hobby

45:52

is dating or would you want to date someone

45:54

who is so focused on their Dharma and their

45:57

expression and their own life and their own life?

46:00

their purpose and then

46:02

you align with them and it's like just

46:04

this this no-cis within both

46:07

of you of like you know

46:09

again and it can also take time it's not

46:11

inside don't I think a lot of the like

46:13

love at first sight like yes it definitely can

46:15

happen I think attraction is guiding us to something

46:17

real but there's also a lot of trauma that

46:19

can happen there of like why am I having

46:21

love at first sight with this person a lot

46:24

of it is like I

46:26

know this familiarity a safety

46:28

because it's like triggering something within my

46:30

relationship with my father for woman my

46:32

relationship with my mother for men so

46:36

we can't just blindly trust attraction I feel

46:38

like what happens on these dating apps is

46:40

like expecting these like fireworks and these sparks

46:42

with someone who you know like

46:45

how sparkly is like a coffee date with a

46:47

stranger really gonna be you know

46:49

it's like you have no context of each other it's

46:51

like kind of awkward and you're like asking each other

46:53

how many siblings you have like I think

46:57

it can happen but it's a rarity so instead

46:59

like go to places that you

47:01

would want to meet that person like if you want to

47:03

be with someone that loves to salsa dance go to salsa

47:05

classes if you want to be

47:07

with someone that loves to go

47:10

to the museum like go to museums if you want

47:12

to be with someone that has shared values of you

47:14

be friends with those types of people like I find

47:16

a lot of the relationships

47:18

that I look up to it's through mutual friends

47:20

that had they have been connected because

47:23

you know that you have someone in common

47:25

that you both vibe with so

47:28

really this is making the

47:30

most of being single to have these

47:32

conversations you know I love reading relationship

47:34

books while I'm single because then it

47:36

sets me up for success in the

47:38

future rather than waiting for the problem

47:40

to happen and to really

47:44

use this time as that fertile soil

47:46

for you to become that version of

47:48

you that you've always felt like it's

47:50

too soon for you to be you

47:52

know for myself stepping into my artistry

47:54

producing my album where I'm singing and

47:56

rapping and sharing my story and all the

47:58

lessons I've learned in this year through art and

48:00

through music, it's like, oh, I

48:03

have become the girl of my dreams. I

48:05

thought everyone I'm attracted to is an artist,

48:07

a music producer. I've become that, so it's

48:09

no longer what I'm even attracted to because

48:11

I've embodied that energy within myself. And

48:14

now what I'm attracted to is someone who I have

48:17

fun with, that I can travel with, that I

48:19

can adventure with. I don't need that for fulfilling

48:21

a dharma in my life. I am the dharma.

48:24

So I share this because a lot of who we're attracted to

48:26

is actually who we want to be. So

48:29

taking that time of being single and putting that energy

48:31

in yourself, I would say I would not have produced

48:34

an album and stepped into my artistry and

48:36

made music videos and created my

48:38

mastermind and my new highest health

48:40

institute, my embodiment certification. This year

48:42

I have been the most creative I've ever

48:45

been in my life because I've put all

48:47

of my focus and my sacral chakra energy

48:49

towards my creativity. So

48:51

make the most of being single by focusing on

48:53

your dharma, on your path, on your healing, on

48:56

your heart, on what makes you come alive. And

48:58

if you're confused, you're like, I don't know what

49:00

my purpose is. Start with

49:02

my book, Discover Your Dharma. It's

49:04

available on Amazon, Audible, wherever you get books.

49:06

I will have that link in the show

49:08

notes. I am sahararose.com/dharma. If you want I

49:10

am sahararose.com, you can find all my books

49:13

and things there. That's a great place to

49:15

start. I also have a 21 day dharma discovery

49:17

journey course, which you can also find on my

49:19

website. I'll have the link in the show notes,

49:21

which guides you step by step into finding your

49:23

soul's purpose. And then my school,

49:25

Highest Self Institute, where we have different trainings.

49:28

We have the Dharma Soul Purpose Coach Training,

49:30

which trains you how to actually become a

49:32

dharma coach. Six months of really diving

49:35

into your limiting beliefs, your healing, all

49:37

the things we talked about, like doing

49:39

it together in community, which is the

49:41

Dharma Coaching Institute. Then we have the

49:44

Embodiment Coach Certification, which is learning my

49:46

triple E method, Emote, Embody, and Express.

49:48

So if you're really interested in movement

49:50

and sensuality and healing, transmutation, releasing

49:53

trauma, healing the nervous system, that's for

49:55

you. We're also brewing up

49:57

a new one on human design that's going to be

49:59

coming. out next year. So you can

50:01

find all of those on the show

50:03

notes as well as at highestselfinstitute.com. So

50:06

take this time to become your dream

50:09

girl. Have your main character moment. Be

50:11

the version of you that you are

50:13

so in love with and you will

50:15

magnetize that person who meets you at

50:17

the vibrancy where you are. So

50:19

thank you so much for tuning in. If you love this

50:21

episode, please share it with some friends, share it with some

50:23

single girlfriends. We got

50:25

to hold ourselves down and share

50:28

the codes that we have learned along the way because this

50:30

is a journey, right? But we get to make

50:32

it fun and we get to make it sexy.

50:34

So share it with your friends and leave a

50:36

review for it on the iTunes store and I

50:38

will send you a free gift of my womb

50:40

meditation, which is a meditation for you to connect

50:42

to your sacred womb space and receive her answers.

50:44

So this is a really great way of connecting

50:46

to your divine feminine. If you feel like, I'm

50:48

not in my feminine, I'm out of touch, start

50:50

connecting to the womb. I'll send

50:53

you my free meditation. Just leave a review for the

50:55

podcast. Also, let me know what topics you would love

50:57

for me to jam on, on the podcast. I love

50:59

just like creating the content that you guys want. I

51:01

have so much fun doing this if you haven't been

51:03

able to tell. So in your review,

51:05

tell me what you'd love for me to

51:07

podcast about, who you would love on and

51:09

I will send you my womb meditation. So

51:12

just take a screenshot of that review and

51:14

email it over to me at sahara at

51:16

I am sahara rose.com. You can find that

51:18

email, all the links mentioned in the show

51:20

notes. Thank you so much for

51:23

tuning in baby girl. I'm proud of you

51:25

and I'll see you in the next episode.