0:00

I've had debates with men about this and they've

0:02

said, well, I feel when I have more options,

0:05

I can pour into my main partner

0:07

more. Okay, so what he pretty much

0:09

said in other words is

0:11

when I externalize my feelings of self-worth, then

0:15

I can be secure around you. But

0:17

when that self-worth is not externalized, I can't fully

0:19

show up for you because I deep down, I'm

0:21

insecure if I'm worthy enough. So

0:24

women do respond to men in abundance,

0:28

men in abundance. Now a lot of times men

0:30

externalize their abundance. What do you mean women respond to

0:32

men in abundance? What does that mean? When men

0:34

have options, women respond to them better,

0:36

but options aren't always externalized. Right,

0:39

they're not always the money. I'm not looking at my Instagram

0:41

DMs, right? I don't even have Instagram

0:43

on my phone. A lot of my employees take care of

0:45

that. If there's important messages, they'll send me them, which is

0:47

why we can get in contact. But there's no question

0:49

about it that when a guy

0:51

has to go, well, I'm more myself when I

0:53

have options, then pretty much you've discovered that you

0:55

don't know who you are. So

0:58

you have a crutch. So this crutch allows you to be you.

1:01

Kick the stand. Where do you go? ["Just

1:03

Flow Soon to Let Go"] Welcome

1:14

back to the High Self Podcast. My

1:16

name is Sahara Rose, and on this

1:18

podcast, I love to take spiritual concepts

1:20

and make them really grounded, fun, relatable

1:23

in your life. So if you've

1:25

been tuning into my journey for the past

1:27

over a year now, I've been really diving

1:29

into relationships. After my divorce in December

1:31

of 2022, I was like, oh

1:33

shit, there's so much I need to learn

1:35

and unlearn and relearn and repattern. And it

1:38

has been such a beautiful journey. And

1:40

I would say now, I would say

1:42

I'm a love devotee. Like the meaning

1:44

of my life is love. And I would

1:46

have never said that before my divorce. And

1:49

I know so many people right now are

1:51

going through breakups and divorces and leaving

1:53

toxic situations. And they're wondering like, how

1:55

can I ever love again? How

1:58

can I ever trust again? How can I ever open my heart? heart

2:00

again. And it feels like this deep

2:02

desire, especially as feminine beings that we

2:04

have of desiring to merge with another.

2:06

But we've been let down

2:09

and disappointed time and time again that we're

2:11

like, is this a fantasy? Is this

2:13

something I have to let go of? Do I just gotta

2:15

like keep playing independent woman and this is my new reality?

2:17

And it's tough

2:19

because we can find all of

2:22

the evidence that we can't

2:24

trust men and we can't trust ourselves and

2:26

everyone is a narcissist and everyone's out to

2:28

get us. And you know, I've

2:30

been on those, those sides of Instagram too. And,

2:32

and it can be a portal. And

2:35

ultimately if what we want is to love

2:37

the work is to really have the tough

2:39

conversations that open our hearts. So

2:41

you heard me talking about it and I wanted to bring

2:43

on a real live man to have

2:45

this conversation with me to maybe

2:48

access some points that I'm not seeing. You're

2:50

not seeing, I mean, most of us are

2:52

women here and to speak

2:54

not just from my own heart, but really on behalf

2:57

of the feminine, because I know how deeply

2:59

hurt and wounded many of us

3:01

have become because of deceit

3:04

and betrayal and abuse and just

3:06

not being fully seen and valued

3:08

for who we are as feminine

3:10

beings. And I just so

3:12

deeply feel for the pain of the feminine, not

3:14

just for myself, but like our

3:16

moms and our grandmothers and all of the

3:19

ancestors of women who have just wanted to

3:21

love and that love not being received. So

3:24

I wanted to have a conversation with someone that

3:26

I found on Instagram and I really loved his

3:28

video and I'm like, let's come on and like

3:30

have this dialogue on like behalf of the masculine

3:32

and feminine and like, maybe it's going to get

3:35

a little saucy. We don't know where this, where

3:37

this journey is going to take us, but to

3:39

have some uncomfortable conversations because I feel like this

3:41

is how we can start paving that pathway towards

3:43

sacred union, which is what I believe we

3:46

both actually really desire. Hit

4:00

subscribe and we'll keep as a good juju

4:02

flow in. So without further ado,

4:04

let's welcome Nafita Ali to the highest self

4:06

podcast. Hello, hello, happy to be here. Welcome.

4:10

The first question I'd love to ask you is what

4:12

makes you your highest self? Yes, I got it

4:14

planned. Okay, what makes me my highest self?

4:17

Well, highest self, I feel like that may be a

4:19

buzzword I won't really have an answer to. When

4:22

you say it, what do you mean? Your

4:24

most actualized expressed version of

4:26

you. What

4:28

makes me that? Whatever that means

4:30

to you. Well, really, I mean speaking. Being

4:33

able to spread the message,

4:35

try to unify others, to collectively

4:38

bring people together and just more importantly, get other

4:40

people in touch with what's authentic, what's true so

4:42

that we can all be in touch with what

4:45

we really are and what we actually are here to

4:47

contribute because that's what makes us feel so connected to

4:49

ourselves. So it's really about being

4:51

connected back to our authenticity and what

4:53

makes me the most connected to me is me, and

4:56

finding that and realizing that there's a nice

4:58

little balance between the error and

5:01

the ideal, so to speak, the

5:04

animal and the spirit and aligning

5:06

them both up towards a common purpose. And then that's

5:08

where you are because you aren't just you right now,

5:10

there's more of you to be discovered. So a little

5:12

bit of balance. Yes, never

5:14

ending. So let's start

5:16

with a really light topic such as

5:18

monogamy versus polyamory and open relationship. Oh, I

5:21

like, I like. Let us hear it in. I

5:23

feel like this is a really big one in

5:25

the spiritual community. So

5:27

I'll speak on how I feel

5:30

and how most of my girlfriends feel. And

5:32

this is not how all women feel. A

5:34

lot of women feel that they desire to

5:36

feel chosen. And David Dada,

5:38

I don't know if you're familiar with this work, he writes a

5:40

lot about polarity, but it is this deep

5:43

feminine yearning to feel completely chosen,

5:45

that you are more than enough.

5:49

And what I feel is being propagated

5:51

in masculine media like

5:55

not just the Andrew Tits of the world, but

5:57

a lot even in the spiritual world is like.

6:00

if you are an alpha man, you

6:02

should have a range of women to choose from.

6:04

And in fact, that's going

6:06

to propel you to have more of

6:08

this masculinity to share. And

6:10

they, you know, have this evidence

6:14

that men have historically been with numerous

6:16

women and that it makes sense because

6:19

the men need to go out hunting.

6:21

And a man who is more high

6:23

value would naturally have more

6:25

women wanting to spread his seed.

6:28

So, and some say that

6:31

women are naturally, everyone is polyamorous

6:33

by nature, according to how far back

6:35

you go in history, given

6:38

that we don't no longer live in tribes and

6:40

we no longer share all of our resources and,

6:42

you know, have these kind of independent lives. What

6:45

do you see as the model? And

6:47

also, yeah, like monogamy in a marriage

6:49

construct is not working for most people

6:51

either. So what do you see in

6:54

this contemplation? Well, yeah, I just don't think, I mean,

6:56

there's a list of things. I wouldn't just point at

6:58

monogamy and say that's why marriage is falling apart. I

7:00

mean, it's a whole different conversation. But

7:02

there is something interesting that you mentioned, which is there

7:04

is a narrative out there. And

7:07

I want you to just pay attention to a little

7:09

bit of the kind of man that says these things

7:11

and where you really think they're sourcing this argument from.

7:13

Now, if you're going to say I'm a high value

7:15

man, and you have this many options,

7:17

so I'm going to continue about this behavior, which I

7:19

have no real connection to, but I draw value from.

7:21

Is he doing

7:23

it because there's a level of purpose behind it? Or

7:26

are they utilizing that inherently to rationalize

7:29

a lot of their behavior and pull

7:31

some self worth out of it? So I kind of found

7:33

it interesting. It's like multiple

7:35

partners versus one on one. I think that

7:37

there's no question about it. If you truly

7:40

want to challenge yourself, monogamy is an ideal

7:43

to utilize evolutionary psychology and

7:45

say that this is the reason why my behavior is the

7:48

way that it is. Or if I had

7:50

to bet on it, it

7:52

makes you feel a certain type of way because you're insecure.

7:54

I would absolutely say that's

7:56

the case. And you know the whole thing is they're

7:58

comparing themselves to the primal man. Like where

8:00

you're 18 kids, you know, you're

8:03

still stuck on one with an illegitimate mother and

8:05

perhaps an illegitimate child and you abandon that too.

8:07

And you compare yourself to the patriarchal motif to

8:09

the leader to the hunter. So come on, dude,

8:12

you just have an Instagram and you can't say

8:14

no. So really what it is

8:16

is a protection of self worth because

8:18

so much of their self worth is attached to that.

8:20

And then of course, when they're in a committed relationship,

8:23

a lot of their self worth dissipates. So

8:26

of course it doesn't work because they weren't

8:28

trying to make something bigger than themselves work. It's

8:30

not about purpose. It's about how they feel about

8:32

themselves. And of course, it's a narcissistic rant. And

8:35

look, to be honest, it's like, of course, a

8:38

man would much rather multiple partners just based off

8:40

of like preference. But

8:42

when you can actually see how much a woman

8:44

can give you, if you could expand and deepen

8:46

that relationship, you would never even be having this

8:48

conversation. I

8:50

completely agree with you. Do you feel

8:52

that men are more wired to be

8:54

polyamorous than women or do you think

8:56

that's just based on our conditioning? Absolutely. Well,

8:59

I mean, it does not work for women.

9:01

And I know that if women think that

9:03

it does, we can get into another conversation

9:05

about that. But for men, there

9:07

is no question about a lot of utility and having

9:09

multiple partners, which is why women are hypergamous. I'm sure

9:11

they throw that out and they utilize that to again,

9:14

for narcissistic reasons. It's not it's not for anything bigger.

9:16

Like there's a function as to why women are a

9:18

certain way and men are a certain way. Men

9:21

do not bond the same way during sex that women do.

9:24

And also, there will be a limited

9:26

amount of good men, which will make

9:28

it a better bet for women to get

9:30

pregnant by that one guy. But

9:32

then again, you can't remember,

9:34

you can't compare those two things together. What

9:37

I really noticed is that when there is

9:39

a there's a certain purpose and function behind

9:41

men having to do that, it is not

9:43

something they pull power from. Most

9:45

men now go, I'll look at me, I'm masculine,

9:47

but they're only doing these things because they pull

9:49

power from it. They're not connected

9:52

to their actions, which is the definition of what makes

9:54

a man a man is they're connected to everything that

9:56

they do. They're not like, hey, look

9:58

at me, I'm going to sleep with this girl and

10:00

feel a certain way. certain way. They're like, no, there's

10:02

a function behind this as a purpose behind this. And

10:04

I'm connecting to what this does for the greater good.

10:07

You don't hear a lot of that. Right. Goodness. People

10:10

really connecting to the things that they do outside of

10:13

feeling power or significance. And it's very easy to do

10:15

because you know, you have to detach, I'm sure you're

10:17

familiar with that from a lot

10:19

of what those things give you not what they

10:22

are. And I think the best way to really

10:24

elaborate and explain a little bit about how monogamy

10:28

isn't, it's an ideal for

10:30

both men and women. But on

10:33

an evolutionary case, and when there is a

10:35

certain point where it actually has a function,

10:38

but it's never happy and

10:40

loving and pornographic. It's

10:43

necessary. And it will

10:45

not have negative consequences because it is necessary.

10:48

And there's a big difference between the two. Yeah,

10:50

like I know a lot of the

10:52

polyamory, like historical references

10:55

are kind of like the

10:57

Paleolithic era of when we

10:59

didn't have homes, belongings, anything,

11:01

and we were all kind

11:03

of like living as nomadic

11:05

tribes. And you just, you

11:07

know, didn't know when someone was going to like

11:09

come back from the war or hunting or not.

11:11

So it made sense at that time. But also,

11:13

I don't think we can pick and choose like,

11:15

oh, I'm going to take like this aspect of

11:17

the Paleolithic era, but like live my entire life

11:19

in this modern lifestyle. Like just fuck a bunch

11:22

of people. It's like, okay, then then

11:24

go hunt. Like even back in that time, they all

11:26

knew each other. There was like a sense of the

11:28

men were providing for women. There was a

11:31

sense of emotional connection, I'm sure, because it

11:33

wasn't that big of a tribe. Whereas

11:36

today to like show up, expect sex

11:38

and then ghost to the person is

11:40

like, what is the woman really

11:42

getting out of that? And I feel the woman feel

11:44

like a lot of women I know feel like they

11:46

have to convince themselves to be okay with polyamory because

11:49

of the type of men that they want are convinced

11:51

that this is the more spiritual path. So they're like, I'm

11:54

either going to lose him or I have to convince myself

11:56

to get on board. So let me do all of the

11:58

inner work. Well, it's interesting, right? You

12:00

ask a guy a question, are you doing this

12:02

because you connect to it? Or

12:04

are you doing this because it serves your interest

12:06

purely? Well,

12:10

I believe all of these things, including why

12:12

we have to have these conversations now, is because we're all

12:14

really cut off from a higher purpose. That's

12:16

the reason why anybody did anything. You know,

12:19

the biblical patriarchs are familiar, even historically, had

12:21

multiple partners and multiple wives. There

12:23

was always a function. The function now

12:25

is purely to uphold your narcissistic ideal, inherently where

12:27

you can pick from one thing and gather from

12:30

another while not having a relationship

12:32

to them. It's advanced survivalism, where

12:34

they can take a series of philosophies and

12:36

take here and take their abandon this, abandon

12:38

that, all to serve themselves

12:40

purely. And so, I mean, of

12:42

course, it goes both ways, though, which

12:45

is, okay, women are falling. They're

12:47

becoming easily seduced by this high

12:49

value man thing because now you've

12:52

fallen in love with a

12:54

fake tiger with spray painted stripes.

12:57

And then now you're like, well, this is what I want.

12:59

And then, of course, this is what you get because you

13:01

didn't really get a spray painted tiger even. You got yourself

13:03

a French bulldog in Hollywood Boulevard, you

13:05

know, and it's hard for people to tell the difference

13:07

because they themselves are also connected from their values. And

13:10

then now value is being distorted, which means that you

13:12

can actually control and manipulate people as to what you

13:14

think value comes from. And all

13:16

of this has to do with the disconnect from your

13:18

values and what you believe because you don't really believe

13:20

things if they just serve you as beliefs. You believe

13:22

them when you're connected to the belief. And

13:25

it's something you do outside of outcome. And

13:27

that's lost. That involves presence. That

13:29

involves character. I mean, of course,

13:32

and that also involves capacity and women are

13:34

really pulled to capacity and they often misrepresent

13:36

them. A man that really has something that

13:38

he wants to bring into this world and

13:40

he's really connected to that is always aware that there's going

13:42

to be a level of humility involved because

13:45

to kind of sit on your high horse

13:48

is exactly how you don't become like a

13:50

Marcus Aurelius type. And

13:52

that's really quite literally a

13:54

patriarchal type, which is one who's really there

13:56

to lead to help others to connect to

13:59

the things that they do. they do and

14:01

also uphold the massive amount of responsibility and

14:03

do it because they connect to it. Not because you can

14:06

see my story on Instagram. Yeah. It's like,

14:08

are these men providing for all of these women

14:10

that they're sitting with? No, you know, the women

14:12

are expected and, and then also be sexually available.

14:14

So what would you say? I've had

14:16

debates with men about this and they've said, well,

14:19

I feel when I have more options, I

14:21

can pour into my main partner more.

14:24

Okay. So what he pretty much said in other words

14:27

is when I externalize my feelings of self-worth,

14:30

then I can be secure around you. But

14:33

when that self-worth is not externalized, I can't fully

14:35

show up for you because I deep down am

14:37

insecure if I'm worthy enough. So

14:41

women do respond to men in abundance,

14:44

men in abundance. Now, a lot of times men

14:46

externalize their abundance. What do you mean women respond

14:48

to men in abundance? What does that mean? When men

14:50

have options, women respond to them better,

14:52

but options aren't always externalized. Right.

14:55

They're not always the money. I'm not looking at my Instagram

14:57

DMS. No, right. I don't even have Instagram on my phone.

14:59

A lot of my employees take care of that. If there

15:01

are those important messages, they'll send me them. What are why

15:03

we can get in contact. But there's no question about

15:05

it that when a guy has

15:07

to go, well, I'm more myself when I have

15:10

options, then pretty much you've discovered that you don't

15:12

know who you are. So

15:14

you have a crutch. So this crutch allows you to be you

15:17

take the stand. Where do you go? That's

15:19

who you are. That's actually who you are. And

15:21

then you, you remove the external. You

15:24

have the courage to discover what it is to

15:26

be in abundance internally, which means that

15:28

you're no longer just existing by accident. You're existing

15:31

with intention and that you are worthy. You don't

15:33

need to prove that to anybody and needing to

15:35

prove something to somebody immediately shows that you have

15:37

an insecurity, that somebody needs to see you as

15:39

this A, B and C. I don't need to

15:41

have the woman to know that I'm valuable. Isn't

15:44

that what everybody wants? They want to know if they're valuable. They

15:46

want to know if they're enough. They want to know if they're

15:49

worthy. And so ultimately that guy

15:51

has a particular problem, not that he can't grow

15:53

out of it and understand it. But

15:55

truth be told, a man can be completely honest with

15:57

a woman in front of him when he.

16:00

knows he has other options. It doesn't mean

16:02

that he has to have other options because

16:04

that's like not showing up 100%. And

16:06

that's really where it takes courage. It's

16:08

not goodbye because I got another girl that'll give

16:10

me that. It's goodbye because I don't agree with

16:12

what you're standing up for. And

16:15

this time you really see he's walking away because

16:17

he believes in himself, not because he has another

16:19

pill to crash on. And

16:21

I feel that most men leave relationships and

16:24

go straight into other ones or straight into

16:26

partying with other women and don't really sit

16:28

with themselves alone. And I've noticed this

16:30

pattern of like- Hardest thing to be. Yeah, like a

16:32

lot of us women have left relationships and really

16:34

sat in our solitude and sat in aloneness and

16:36

done the deep healing work. And then we see

16:39

our exes just like- And

16:41

I'm like- Well, that's for men too. They do the worst

16:43

thing. They open up their Instagram. Right. And

16:45

it's not gonna prevent you from feeling. It's

16:47

just gonna decay. It's

16:50

gonna make it just come later on. So

16:52

what do you say when a man in

16:54

response to this says, well, I believe that

16:57

love is an unlimited resource. And I have

16:59

unlimited love to share. So why should I

17:01

only share love with one person? I've

17:04

heard that from women too. Yeah. Yeah,

17:06

it's a very free love 1960s. Exactly.

17:08

I think it comes from a lack of

17:10

understanding of how humanity works. There's

17:13

godliness in you. There's godliness in me. We

17:15

exist with limitations with

17:17

unlimited potential. It's

17:20

hard to juggle, but when

17:22

we understand that our job isn't to give love to

17:24

everybody. It's to give love to those who are in

17:26

front of us. That

17:29

is a very difficult understanding because how can

17:31

that be easy? We have this feeling of

17:33

eternity inside of us, especially when you connect

17:35

to it. And you know, that's why like

17:37

the polyamorous cult king kind of there's

17:39

a lot of pull to him. And there's a reason why there's a lot

17:41

of pull is because he

17:44

is in touch with that infinite spirit. Now

17:46

here's what you wanna know. It's actually kind of interesting because

17:48

a lot of people, a lot of men particularly will find

17:50

that and then they'll exploit it because now they're getting power

17:53

from it, which means they're no longer connected to their actions,

17:55

which was to give love. And yeah, you know, to be

17:57

honest, you could go ahead and feel

17:59

a series of people until you... realize why

18:01

you're doing it. It had

18:03

function then, it's losing its function now. And

18:06

why do you need to be sleeping with people to help them? Do

18:09

you know what's really interesting? This is something in my

18:11

life personally that I've actually had very recently, which is

18:14

you will actually start to get negative consequences.

18:17

You will start to feel negative emotion after

18:19

sex if you have not integrated your sexuality.

18:22

There's a certain hierarchy to it. The

18:24

lowest level you got porn because you're hiding and

18:27

you're masturbating. Second level, just good

18:29

old masturbation, use your mind at least, you

18:31

know, get creative. Then after

18:33

that is shared masturbation. So that's inherently

18:35

transactional sexual interactions where you're not hiding.

18:38

After that you have healing, healing

18:40

intimacy. That's a particular place where if you

18:43

can heal, then you can build. Because

18:45

then when you're building, you're also healing and

18:47

you're also sharing. So building is

18:50

the highest level that you can

18:52

be at in terms of just like building yourself up

18:54

sexually to be in a place where you can actually

18:56

contribute. You know, where you're not just taking. We're

18:58

also not just letting your insecurities define how you

19:00

feel in a relationship. Men and women deeply challenge each

19:02

other. And that's really what keeps us so drawn to

19:05

one another is where we're aware that

19:07

we are one whole coming together. And it's

19:10

not over yet. I got to pull

19:12

it out of you. And you got to pull it out of me.

19:14

And when there's insecurities there, there's

19:16

no longer a I'm on your team.

19:18

It's why trying to bring me down? And

19:21

then of course, there's a break. Because you're not

19:23

we're not being taught how to be in relationships. We're,

19:26

we're being disconnected from what we're trying to even do

19:28

in relationships to protect and provide to be connected to

19:30

that, you know, to understand what that means in every

19:32

level. And you know, for women, it's inherently to, to

19:35

care, love and heal. And

19:37

to support. There's no connection with

19:39

that. You're not going to hear that in school, you're not

19:42

going to hear that in Western culture. I mean, third world

19:44

countries, you got thermal problems. That's a whole different, different conversation.

19:48

And what I really noticed is, is just that if

19:50

people can actually come to what exactly this

19:52

is, like what it really means, it

19:54

is to connect as crazy as that sounds. That's

19:57

actually where you want this to go. You don't want sex

19:59

to be be the need for power because when I detached from

20:01

that, it

20:04

was awful. And I know that's a

20:06

crazy and by the way, and then you keep doing it because you

20:08

don't know any better. Well, then you start to lose sex. Your

20:11

nervous system starts to become affected. You

20:14

just start to look towards something aimlessly.

20:17

And then of course, you have nothing to offer

20:19

because you're lost. So

20:21

it's truly for connection. Because

20:24

you're listening to this podcast, I'm going to make a quick

20:26

assumption about you. Your friends come to you

20:28

for advice. Whenever you're at a party,

20:30

someone corners you at the side of the stack

20:32

table and starts telling you all of their childhood

20:34

dramas. And you actually

20:36

love diving deep into spiritual topics and you have

20:38

a really good way of communicating with people. So

20:40

the best way to actually create a career doing

20:43

this is through coaching. But I know a lot

20:45

of people their life, I don't even know where

20:47

to start. I don't even know what type of

20:49

coach I would be. So I've created a quick,

20:51

easy quiz to discover your unique coaching style. So

20:53

there are three categories, the intuitive,

20:55

transformational or empathetic coach. So the

20:57

intuitive one really works with your

20:59

intuition, you're able to receive downloads,

21:01

you just have insights about people.

21:03

The transformational one has more of

21:05

that fire energy. You love to

21:07

keep it real and help people

21:09

go through the deepest Phoenix

21:12

rising from the ashes moments in their

21:14

lives. And the empathetic codes really love

21:16

to listen the whole space. They're very

21:18

grounded, nurturing. So if you're

21:21

curious which type you are, you

21:23

can try my free quiz at

21:25

quiz.highestselfinstitute.com. Again, that's quiz.highestselfinstitute.com, which is

21:28

my school that certifies spiritual life coaches. And

21:30

you can find that link in the show

21:32

notes. I'm super excited to see what type

21:34

of coach you are because I'm a higher

21:36

you one day. And

21:44

I feel that a lot of

21:46

men are using porn as a

21:48

crutch to not actually have deeper

21:50

connection. I feel that there

21:52

is an agenda with the amount of porn being

21:54

like it's like 80% of the internet is

21:57

porn. Like it's, you know, it's frightening. It's frightening.

22:00

in terms to porn. Like average age

22:02

is 11 years old for boys starting

22:04

to watch it. It's like the average

22:06

11 year old boy has seen more

22:08

naked woman than like the kings of

22:10

age. Yeah. It's ridiculous. And you know, you

22:12

experience them through a screen. Yeah. And

22:15

they're not actual woman. It's like it's, it's, it's

22:17

all fake. And it's for the male gaze and

22:19

it's performative. It's not actually what women would even

22:21

enjoy in bed. So I

22:24

see collectively that a lot of men are like, well,

22:26

I'm just going to watch porn because I don't want

22:28

to deal with a fucking woman. You know, she's got

22:30

emotions. I have to like call her. I have to

22:33

this. I'm going to watch my porn, back off, not

22:35

deal. And then to a lot of women are like,

22:37

I don't feel pursued. I don't feel, I don't feel

22:39

chased. So I don't, I don't feel this receptive

22:42

energy that I need for my turn on.

22:44

So then they're either lowering their

22:47

standards because they just need intimacy. And that's,

22:49

I think this rise of the situation ship,

22:51

right? Or they're just on

22:53

their own. And I just feel, and then

22:55

the men are getting more angry because they're

22:57

not, you know, they're not getting the sex.

22:59

And I think we're the first generation to

23:01

have less sex than the generation predesting us.

23:03

So let's talk

23:05

about porn and specifically like how

23:07

it's really fucking with people's brains.

23:11

Well, do you know, it's actually really scary when you

23:13

realize this that most people don't know that they

23:15

don't know that it's fucking with their brains. They assume that it's harmful.

23:19

Well, you have a culture that pretty much promotes

23:21

as much distance as possible between men and women

23:23

in the name of autonomy, like

23:25

as if we both don't represent 50% of

23:27

the cosmos collectively 100%

23:30

together. So there's

23:32

an absurdity behind that, right? Well, first off, what's the worst

23:34

thing you can do to a man? Well, give him convenient

23:36

anything, anything convenient. And it's

23:39

something interesting is that women are more internally

23:42

curious about themselves. You know, they're

23:44

not going to be looking under a table or

23:46

looking under a skirt, but you look at young

23:48

boys and they're already out there look, you know,

23:50

they will put themselves in a position to go,

23:52

Oh, what happens if I look under the skirt

23:54

or what happens to our reach for these boobs?

23:56

Like curious curiosity in men is always externalized and

23:58

for women, it's internalized. So

24:03

inherently you have a bunch of young little boys

24:05

who are being put on a platform

24:07

to connect with others because that's the avenue by

24:09

which people connect with now, which is inherently, oh,

24:11

did you see sneak goes new video or did

24:13

you see Andrew tater things that people want to

24:15

talk about. So you inherently have to be part

24:17

of the virtual medium. And

24:19

then with the virtual medium, well, you got tick tock,

24:22

you got Instagram and Facebook doesn't really exist anymore. But

24:24

anyways, you got those two. And

24:26

they're funnels to Pornhub. Especially

24:29

for a young kid, the most fascinating thing is

24:31

going to be sex because that's completely correlated towards

24:33

why you're so curious. You're curious so you can

24:35

start building, you're curious so you can start finding

24:37

yourself. And so you exploit all of

24:39

that curiosity into sexual voyeurism.

24:42

So you're pretty much experiencing the whole

24:44

list of the emperors of old who

24:47

had an extraordinary amount of capacity and extraordinary

24:49

amount of responsibility, which is fair enough. Okay,

24:51

enjoy your multitude of women, but at least

24:53

you're doing something. So

24:55

instead, you give a man a plaque that's in their pocket

24:57

that they can go ahead and look at at any moment

25:00

and they could experience not only the most powerful dopamine head

25:02

of their life, an expansion

25:04

of their sexual nature without any understanding of

25:06

what that's going to mean for them in

25:08

their adulthood. Majority

25:11

my life was actually integrating how much damage that's

25:13

done to me because if you want to feel

25:15

shame, take a computer into a bathroom and

25:17

share your sex with a screen because in other

25:19

words, you're hiding your sexuality. Anything

25:21

that you hide is going to fuel shame. And

25:24

of course, and what do you think happens you go out in

25:27

the world you see women you don't feel the natural inclination, which

25:29

is interact, you feel freeze

25:31

up. And often

25:33

that could even especially around beautiful women and it will

25:35

create a lot of entitlement. Yes, and a lot of

25:38

anger, because they'll create a split. They'll

25:40

have the women under them that they don't care

25:42

about at all. But then the women over them who are

25:44

like goddesses, and they're powerless.

25:47

So they have to mistreat a number

25:49

of people under them, but pedestalize these

25:51

women over them, which creates, I mean, of

25:53

course, serious dissatisfaction for women, because

25:56

what makes women extraordinarily happy is strong men

25:59

and seeing that they're safe. because then it

26:01

leaves room for expansion and the next generation

26:03

and they could fuel that

26:05

love through their children through their husband

26:07

through the creative work that they're accumulatively

26:09

sharing together. It's no longer this nightmare

26:11

but it's

26:14

not something people talk about in schools and

26:16

get sex ed with a fucking banana like what

26:18

is that shit you know and everybody has a

26:21

goddamn porn device because if you think a 12

26:23

year old is utilizing that for anything else and

26:25

you're not fluid idiot and

26:27

how that cosmically affects men

26:29

and women you know and of course and

26:31

you do it by making men weak because

26:34

that by byproduct makes women masculinize you know

26:37

porn is just one of the avenues by which they're making

26:39

men weak and there's a series of others but

26:42

when men can really start understanding if they could already start

26:44

doing one thing to improve their life get

26:47

off the hub and if you're not

26:49

using social media to

26:51

genuinely bring something or contribute with it

26:53

delete it I don't

26:55

care if you're not watching this then you're probably better off because

26:59

then you're not part of a system that

27:01

is designed to exploit you so that

27:03

you can become weak making men more

27:05

feminine women more masculine and disconnecting us

27:08

from what really allows us to fight

27:10

back because that's what we do we

27:12

do that within the context of a family powers

27:16

in numbers and belief and

27:19

in community you'd conquer

27:22

nation just by over reproducing you

27:24

know and then

27:26

look how you know capitalism and our Western

27:28

society benefits from that if men are not

27:30

in their power well they're gonna be docile

27:32

and they're gonna accept you know whatever laws

27:35

are passed and if women

27:37

are as a result has to be in

27:39

their masculine well you've got more income coming

27:41

in the GDP of the countries go higher

27:43

you know the whole like feminist movement that's

27:45

wild that you know that yeah like you can get them both

27:47

doing the same thing exactly so like that whole

27:50

we can do it to 1950s

27:52

that housewife that like iconic poster

27:55

when no it was before that was like around

27:57

watching or is that baking soda no it was

27:59

like around World War I or World War II, I think

28:01

World War II probably, and it was like, woman can do

28:03

what a man can do. Because the

28:05

men were out in war, so I believe

28:08

it was actually funded by the Rockefellers, that

28:11

big movement of, well, if the men are out

28:13

in war, who's going to be working all the

28:15

jobs? So let's tell women, you can do exactly

28:17

what a man can do. You can drive trailers,

28:19

you can this, you can that, and a woman

28:21

can, but is that how we're designed? Is that

28:23

our optimal desire? Ask most

28:26

women truthfully, and it's a no. Absolutely,

28:28

but now it's actually starting to turn into a yes,

28:30

because there's attached value to it, that women can pull

28:32

more value from it. And actually, what you're talking about

28:34

is foreign to most women. It's foreign. So

28:37

in fact, what you're doing is pulling the rug by which they

28:39

stand on. How do you think that's going to go? Well,

28:42

here's why I understand, like, it

28:44

is important for women to have access

28:47

to our own resources, because it allows

28:49

us to walk away from like toxic

28:51

situations, abusive marriages, like so many things.

28:53

You're describing choice. Right, exactly. So when you

28:55

don't have access to resources, which is like most of

28:57

the Middle East, many parts of the world still, you

29:00

have to stay in these shitty situations, not just there,

29:02

you go to Beverly Hills, and many women are still

29:04

in those relationships because of the money. So

29:06

it's important for women to have access to it.

29:09

But is it through doing the exact job that

29:11

a man does? I don't

29:13

want to use the word should, but I

29:15

believe our optimal capacity is sharing our feminine

29:17

nature, you know, like having conversation using our

29:19

natural nurture abilities or abilities to connect or

29:22

abilities to create art and beauty in this

29:24

world. But those things aren't valued by our

29:26

society. They're not paid by our society, you

29:28

know? Yeah, well, your society doesn't really care about

29:30

anything bigger than what you can contribute to it. It's

29:33

not focused on the development of humanity, because like, if

29:35

you actually look at how society is catered, it

29:38

does not give a shit about how you feel.

29:41

It doesn't consider anything bigger than what you

29:43

can contribute to some sort of monetary value.

29:46

And that's going to define you in

29:49

school growing up, the test you have, or

29:51

the title that you have along with the income that you make.

29:54

And if you get people chasing that, then

29:56

you get people not connecting to

29:59

where real value comes from. Because

30:01

it is a difficult thing to experience our humanity

30:03

because through our humanity comes an evolution of beauty

30:06

that we can contribute. It's not just about trying

30:08

to survive anymore. We're not there. And

30:10

you know, you spoke about this earlier, which is like, I

30:13

live for love. This

30:15

is a generation where real love can be made. It's

30:18

not what it looks like. It's more than

30:21

what you can imagine. And

30:23

it's made because now we have an opportunity to choose. We

30:26

can deep, deep – we could find our

30:28

soulmate now. And you know, that's a luxury.

30:31

But yeah, you're also going to have

30:33

to deal with a list of narcissistic

30:35

psychopaths, some inflated egos, porn addiction, drug

30:37

addictions, the need to

30:39

exploit yourself for some sort of value. It's

30:42

going to get a little dark, but if you've

30:44

got a good set of values and an integrated

30:46

individual, then you're on the highway to finding something

30:48

that we're here to do. You just need to

30:50

do it one day to experience it once, and

30:52

it's worth it. I agree,

30:54

and I hold that same fate. I

30:57

feel as a woman, and this is maybe – I

30:59

want to hear your perspective on this. I listen to

31:01

men's relationship stuff. I'm just curious what's the advice men

31:04

are giving to other men. And it's

31:06

a lot of men complaining about how masculine women

31:08

have become. And they're saying,

31:11

like, I'm not attracted to her because she's in her masculine. I

31:13

don't even know. She criticizes everything

31:16

that I do. She's not receptive to

31:18

me when I come home. And

31:20

I understand that. I don't think a woman wants to be

31:23

that way. But it's almost like when

31:25

– let's say you have been

31:27

– you're a dog. I mean, this dog has been abused

31:29

so many times. You're not going to come home to your

31:31

owner like, oh, hi, how are you? I think that's where

31:34

women collectively have gotten of just, like, I've been so let

31:36

down so many times. So I'm just

31:38

going to take care of myself and hope

31:40

for nothing from you because I don't want

31:42

to have an expectation, and that expectation not

31:45

be met again. So I feel like women

31:47

have had to create these shells around our

31:49

hearts because our hearts

31:52

just can't keep breaking again and again

31:54

and again. And then men are like,

31:56

well, I can't love you because of

31:58

that. So where do we lean in? It's rough.

32:00

I mean, men get heartbroken too, you know, so

32:02

there's no, it's not

32:04

better for one or the other. But I definitely noticed

32:07

that women have a harder time integrating it because it

32:09

requires complete and total like,

32:11

you know, you freeze a lot, you freeze

32:13

some water, and then you break it down into liquid

32:15

form again, it's going to need a vessel or else

32:18

it's going to evaporate. And it's an entirely new water

32:20

on the other side. Yeah, and that's the whole thing

32:22

is it does change the quality of it. And it

32:24

doesn't mean that it loses its value, there's still water,

32:26

but it will change the overall purity. Now,

32:28

there is something very interesting about it is that a lot

32:31

of men do have an expectation now because we are in

32:33

a different world. And I feel

32:35

like that because we were put in this quote

32:37

different world, we abandoned responsibility and what it means

32:39

to actually show up for your partner because that's

32:41

going to happen. Period. I don't

32:43

care if your wife's the most feminine woman in the

32:45

whole world, and you're the most masculine machismo man on

32:48

planet Earth, and you guys, the polarity is like this

32:50

cosmos, the sun and the moon. You're

32:52

going to have that happen in your relationship. And it's

32:54

really important that men do understand that, right, which is

32:56

you got to be able to provide stability to this.

32:59

Now, also, if you have an expectation from somebody that's

33:01

clearly not changing their behavior, you're going to have to

33:03

do the most difficult yet most appropriate thing possible walk

33:06

away. Because what's

33:08

actually crazy is that it will start to bring a lot

33:10

out in the man that needs to be confronted. And

33:13

what you're describing is probably a lot of people that

33:15

have no relationship with their values and

33:17

have an expectation from

33:20

somebody. Now, if

33:22

you're going to be around women and you're going to idealize

33:24

them, then you're probably going to be complaining because

33:28

if you think that women just exist, no,

33:31

we exist accumulatively together towards a common purpose,

33:33

one in support of the other, towards that

33:35

common purpose. And if you're not in touch

33:37

with that, you're just placing an expectation that

33:39

somebody needs to behave so that

33:41

you can conveniently go about your life as that person doesn't

33:43

bother you. You know, I'll give you a worst

33:45

case scenario, even worse than coming home to an aggressive woman.

33:48

Imagine coming home to an agreeable one who

33:51

continuously pence up more and more

33:53

resentment with

33:56

a smile on her face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a

33:58

smile on her face. Okay, baby. Yeah,

34:00

and she'll cut your dick off in the middle of the night. She'll

34:02

absolutely blow up and then she'll do something and then you'll go, oh

34:05

my God, what's wrong with women?

34:08

What was I not paying attention to? And

34:10

that all comes from men not understanding that

34:13

we need to have the ability to provide

34:15

stability for ourselves first. Because

34:18

when you can do that, of course you can provide stability for her.

34:22

And guess what? It's rewarding for a man to do so. It's

34:25

not just about meeting the love of your life. It's about

34:27

actually finding the parts of yourself that

34:29

you wish to conquer and being able to share that

34:31

with somebody. Then there's love for a man

34:33

there. And women by default

34:36

are already dealing with a lot of the chaos that

34:38

creates a lot of the beauty that you see in

34:40

the world nowadays. It comes from women. So

34:44

the entitlement issue typically comes from men with a

34:46

poor understanding of what women are. I

34:49

don't care if feminine, third world, pick them

34:51

up, ship them out, Ukraine, whatever it is.

34:56

Women are going to be tough. And you're just

34:58

going to have to accept that because that's going to come with life.

35:02

Now of course if this is coming

35:04

through avenues by which are ruining your

35:06

life, like perhaps a narrative that's poisoning

35:09

a relationship, and

35:12

maybe she picked up on that narrative. And it's like, well,

35:14

that's the Adam and Eve story right there, right? There's

35:16

a snake that tells you there's more.

35:20

And now that might make you more critical

35:22

of your partner. But your partner

35:24

absolutely has to understand that that story is true

35:26

about men. You have to be aware that a

35:29

strong man, the outside

35:31

world can't touch him. When he's got tribe,

35:33

when he's got community, when he's got abundance,

35:36

can't touch him. But if you

35:38

poison the woman, you'll watch that man crumble to

35:40

the ground like dust. Give you a

35:42

concept of how powerful women are. And men

35:44

need to be aware of these things. They need to really believe

35:47

in what they say because they're just throwing out like, what I

35:49

believe is true. That's not going

35:51

to work. What you believe is true is

35:53

you sit there as she continues doing the same thing that

35:55

has been absolutely making you deteriorate as a man. Do

35:58

you believe it? It's

36:01

a difficult thing for a lot of people to go through, but there might

36:03

need to be a divorce. I'm sure you experienced that

36:05

so that maybe you can start doing it right. You know,

36:07

don't attach to the value of that. You know, the expectation

36:09

that your family has on you. You're the fuck up. No,

36:12

do the most loving thing that you can possible. Walk

36:14

out, but know why you did. This

36:18

episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. So one of

36:20

the relationships I'm the proudest of in my

36:22

life is the relationship I have with my

36:24

mom. So she was like

36:26

my bestie, but slash like kind of frenemy. She

36:29

would tell me what to do and it would trigger

36:31

me so badly. It was like get under my skin.

36:33

I couldn't take it and I would just react like

36:36

my inner teenager when she would say something like it almost

36:38

felt like I wasn't allowed to do it. So

36:41

it's through therapy that I really dove into it.

36:43

I thought it was my hurt wounded inner teenager

36:45

that I no longer am. I was

36:47

a 33 year old woman. So by

36:49

going into it and speaking with my inner teenager and

36:51

realizing that now I'm free and also my mom is

36:53

just saying these things because she loves me and wants

36:55

to protect me and I don't have to listen. It

36:58

really helped me get a lot of liberation on the

37:00

other side and actually make us closer than ever. In

37:02

fact, she's coming to stay with me tomorrow. So

37:05

this is just one of those many benefits

37:07

of therapy. And if you're interested in giving

37:10

it a try, I highly recommend trying BetterHelp.

37:13

It's entirely online designed to be convenient,

37:15

flexible and suited to your schedule. You

37:17

just fill out a brief questionnaire to get

37:20

matched with a licensed therapist and you can

37:22

switch therapists at any time with no additional

37:24

charge. So get those

37:26

relationships where you can fully

37:28

feel seen, met, heard, respected

37:31

and understood by visiting betterhelp.com/Sahara

37:33

to get 10% off

37:35

your first month of therapy. That's

37:38

betterhelp, help.com/Sahara. You can

37:40

find that link in the

37:42

show notes. How

37:52

can women who are in relationships right

37:54

now where they don't feel valued for

37:56

the inherent beauty

37:59

and feminine that they bring, what

38:02

can they do to like speak this to a

38:04

man? Well, you

38:06

can always be sweet. And

38:08

you don't need to make it personal. An

38:11

open conversation is a difficult conversation to

38:13

have, because it may make you

38:16

see the person differently. But that's

38:18

exactly how vulnerability works is

38:21

that the alternative remember is resentment,

38:23

infidelity, domestic abuse, porn,

38:26

hiding, cheating, lying,

38:28

stealing, hurting, some

38:31

cases killing. So

38:33

we definitely do have a very dark side,

38:35

that we have to have these open conversations,

38:37

because those open conversations can allow you to

38:39

realize that some things in this

38:42

relationship need to be improved. Do you

38:44

feel like you know, have an open space? Do you feel

38:46

like I've found and a lot of my friends,

38:48

the men don't change until the woman walk away.

38:51

And then by that point, it's often like too

38:53

late. Well, that's not a man changing. Right.

38:56

It's like he doesn't realize

38:58

what he has until it's gone. And no amount

39:00

of explaining yourself gets through to him. I mean,

39:02

that is the case. You know, like there's a certain

39:04

point where yeah, you do have to walk away. And

39:06

I've realized this even in my family, where some of

39:08

the relationships are really rocky. People

39:11

pleasing in men and people pleasing tendencies

39:13

in women create a lot of destruction.

39:17

So there is

39:19

a certain point where when you do walk, and even for

39:21

women, you walk and now they want you right when I'm

39:23

one step out the door, you want it. Now, you have

39:25

to start rewarding this in people. If

39:27

we can sit down, have the conversation and come

39:29

to the conclusion to a better future, then we're

39:32

doing something right. But if it

39:34

demands me mistreating you walking away, or

39:37

packing my backs for you to go bathe weight, then

39:40

clearly negative attention gets you to respond more positively

39:42

than when I sit down and give you attention,

39:45

which means that that person has to confront a

39:47

lot of the internal wounds that

39:49

they have, which is inherently being mistreated, draw somebody closer

39:51

together, which you will get a lot of, you know,

39:53

there's no question about it. It's like, you can do

39:56

that. But remember, that's the kind of person

39:58

you're going to have to mistreat. And eventually you'll forget

40:00

what love is. Because the more that

40:02

you do this to other people, you're actually going to

40:04

start attracting that to yourself. And then

40:06

you'll start responding to bad behavior, and

40:08

you'll start chasing. And then she's like, I'm

40:11

going to go out and drink with my friends. I

40:14

want you to stay home. It's a girl's night, whatever it is. And

40:17

then you're like, Whoa, that's

40:19

behavior I don't like, but now it's making a chase.

40:21

So what's she getting? She's getting more of you, the

40:23

more she sits, she shits on you and vice versa.

40:26

So it is a really dangerous thing is that people need

40:28

to understand that if she now says all

40:30

the things that you wanted her to say,

40:33

when you walked in there, and he said, Hey, babe, we need to have a conversation,

40:36

when you're 10 feet out of the house, and

40:39

guess what? And you have to get people

40:42

to own up to that, which is it takes courage

40:44

to be open with the person in front of you. If

40:46

you need to see everything in your life walk away from you,

40:48

then you don't really have a relationship with those things until you

40:50

lose them, which means you're a child. You got

40:53

some growing up to do. Oh, I

40:55

meant to that one. But yeah,

40:57

I see for a lot of friends

40:59

of mine who are in situations where you know, I

41:01

see a lot of of

41:03

women with men with addictions of various sorts.

41:05

And it's often when she's packing the bags,

41:07

taking the kids walking away that he's like,

41:10

Okay, I'll go get help. And

41:12

then she stays and then he gets help for a

41:14

little bit. And then it goes back and it's

41:16

a tactic. It's a manipulation tactic. You

41:19

can peek the emotions and then you could say

41:21

everything right before they make the decision.

41:25

And then go back on that decision. And what you

41:27

could do is you could pull somebody between decisions, which

41:29

makes them very weak, and you pull them into space

41:31

in between until they're nothing, you could blow them over

41:33

like air, they'll start hallucinating on the kitchen floor going,

41:35

what the hell is happening to me? It's

41:37

more common because you know, a lot of the time people don't

41:39

want to work on these things because their worth is associated to

41:41

it when really a lot

41:44

of men don't know this, but women are so

41:46

damn receptive to men that want to be better.

41:48

Especially when they don't tie it to

41:50

their self worth. You know, like you're

41:52

right, you know, this is something that's

41:54

eliminating my ability to be the best husband, to

41:57

be the best partner, to be the best father, to be the best

41:59

friend, to be the best. son to be the best brother.

42:01

And this has been something I've been running away from. And you know,

42:03

what's the one thing that all men want to hear from women? I'm

42:06

on your side. Don't

42:09

yell, don't be harsh, don't be critical,

42:11

be feminine, and utilize that influence. Because

42:14

you'll watch when you don't make him do something, you have

42:16

to do this, you influence him to do it, there'll be

42:18

far more open to do it. But of course, you have

42:20

to set your boundaries too, which is you need to know

42:22

where ends your breaking point. Is it a month? Is it

42:25

a week? Is it today? Is it right now? By the

42:27

more I care about yourself, it's gonna be the next five

42:29

minutes. Because the quality of your

42:31

life is deserving of that. So

42:35

not only do you develop a tighter relationship with life,

42:37

you develop a higher standard for your relationships. And by

42:39

the way, what does that show her? What does that

42:41

show him? You really care

42:44

about yourself. You care about

42:46

your time, you know how much it's worth.

42:48

Because it's not just about loving him, it's

42:50

about loving the people around you, your brothers,

42:52

your sisters, your nieces, your nephews, your uncles, your

42:54

aunts, your mom, your dad, your friends. Give

42:57

to that and then watch how much you're worth. Yeah,

43:00

I 100% agree with you. And it's

43:02

hard because I see a

43:04

lot of women are like, okay, I'm gonna walk

43:06

away. But then it's this fear of like, will

43:09

I ever find someone I can't do this online

43:11

dating? That's beautiful. Do you know, you know, what's

43:13

up? Will I ever find somebody substitute those words?

43:15

If am I enough? Am

43:18

I worthy? We

43:20

externalize those things. And

43:22

particularly men, which is why men in title, which

43:24

you'll see a lot of angry men, it's like, well, typically

43:27

what happens when they're disappointed, they get angry. Because

43:29

that means their expectations weren't met because they didn't communicate

43:31

what they actually wanted and needed from you and also

43:33

from themselves. Oh,

43:36

no, if I walk away from this, don't

43:39

externalize it, ask yourself the real

43:41

question, am I worthy of something

43:43

better? Am I enough? And

43:45

then immediately the boyfriend disappears or whatever you had

43:47

attached to the certain outcome or feeling or emotion

43:49

disappears. And you ask yourself the real fundamental questions,

43:52

which allow you to start contributing, because

43:54

you're actually contributing something from a place

43:57

of value and a place of authenticity.

43:59

Yeah, I find that the law of

44:01

attraction is completely accurate when

44:03

it comes to love of whatever your

44:06

underlying beliefs are are reflected back. And when you

44:08

have the belief of, I will never find someone

44:10

that will be a reality. And then when you

44:12

have that belief of all men are this or

44:14

that, you just find those people. It's like, look

44:17

for the red car, you start seeing the red cars. So

44:20

I feel a lot

44:22

of women feel and myself and I

44:24

see this that women are putting a

44:26

lot of work in themselves. You know,

44:28

there's this collective divine feminine goddess movement,

44:30

women are really having difficult

44:32

conversations looking at their childhood, I don't

44:34

see the same. It's happening, but not

44:36

as big with men. So

44:39

I do feel there's a numbers difference

44:41

around conscious woman versus men, like even

44:44

just statistically. Here's something interesting,

44:46

men are doing it. And women are

44:48

doing it too. It

44:51

just doesn't look like an elevation of male nature.

44:54

So it may look more destructive, it

44:56

may look more performative, but

44:59

they're looking to create better results in their

45:01

life, just like women are. And I mean,

45:03

this goes for both sides, there's going to be a

45:05

collective amount of mentors, teachers, coaches, therapists and counselors who

45:08

are going to be good. And then there's going to

45:10

be the same collective that suck. So

45:13

it's really just about finding inherently like not just the

45:15

people that are right for you, but the people who

45:17

are really trying to tell you the truth. And I

45:19

think there's like a really good common denominator behind that,

45:21

which is yeah, women are typically pulled towards growth and

45:23

development. Well, because what do you think you do? You

45:26

help develop and grow the things

45:28

around you, you flourish it, you

45:30

amplify it. So I

45:32

just think that's more personality type for women that

45:34

they're more prone to go ahead and learn about

45:36

these things that inherently could develop their capacity to

45:39

contribute. And so are men, but men

45:41

are a little more protective of their worth at the moment.

45:43

So we're going to find

45:45

places that immediately allow them to get an

45:48

immediate gratification, which is going to

45:50

make them weaker in the long run. But we definitely

45:52

are both. And I mean, there's a collective amount of

45:54

like what you call female gurus that are actually spreading

45:56

really bad information for women too. And

45:58

the same thing goes collectively for men, but I do. I do believe

46:00

that we are collectively working really

46:02

hard on doing that. But

46:04

the victimhood for men is catharsis because

46:07

there's community around victimhood and

46:09

it's really bad. And you know, there's also community around trauma

46:11

for women. You know, they just start bonding with each other

46:14

and they're like, oh my God, I don't need a man.

46:16

Single motherhood is better. I'm a boss bitch. And then all

46:19

of those things are protective. It happens in both groups. And

46:21

if you're seeing it happening for women, men are

46:23

doing the same thing. I believe that there's a point right now

46:25

where we're going to actually hit like a really big breakthrough

46:28

for both. And men can start

46:30

connecting to the things that they do and they actually

46:32

start fighting back. It's

46:34

a lot of fight that men don't have anymore. And

46:37

it's like, well, you could start inside. It'll manifest externally because

46:40

you can know you could do it internally. It's a great

46:42

place to start. And then I'll make women feel a lot

46:44

safer. And they'll also respond to a

46:46

lot more men because they're not doing it for pussy anymore.

46:49

Like that's the real reason why most people join courses.

46:52

And they're just not even being honest with it. It's

46:54

not just for the money. It's for what the money can give them. Some

46:58

sort of power, significance. They

47:00

could attach that to women. But

47:02

it is definitely something I did notice, but women

47:04

won't like the answer. If they're

47:07

really looking for the truth, they will

47:09

not like the answer. It's going to require the most

47:11

difficult thing for a woman. And it's like, well, to

47:13

connect back to your femininity and your

47:15

femininity is so damn vulnerable. It's

47:18

not an easy place to be in. And then you look around and

47:20

your scarcity kicks in. What do you see? A

47:22

bunch of pussies, world-class ones, angry too,

47:24

very likely to hurt you, manipulate you.

47:27

And then you're like, well, why should I do that? It's

47:30

like, there's only one reason to do this.

47:32

And even as a man right now, you

47:34

can get so much being a tactical, narcissistic

47:36

motherfucker. But

47:38

my God, you have to start connecting to the things that you

47:40

believe in if you really want to start seeing a shift. Men

47:43

need to connect to their roles and women need to connect

47:45

to theirs with an expectation that they're not placing on the

47:47

opposite sex. Men do it too. I'll

47:50

start being this man when I get this woman. They

47:52

do that all the time. And

47:54

women do it too. I'll start being feminine when

47:56

I meet the man. Good fucking luck. Because it

47:58

takes work now so that you... feel worthy of

48:00

it when you're there. You want

48:02

to experience it because when you're at that table

48:04

with all the people that you love around you, you

48:07

knew that you did it for yourself. And

48:09

that means that the love that you give him is

48:11

enough, which means you won't be

48:13

insecure in it. And vice versa. He's like, well, I found

48:15

I was able to rule the kingdom without

48:18

the queen and I connected to it. And

48:20

then the queen comes. Well, for the woman,

48:22

I was able to provide for the kingdom before

48:26

the king came. And then the king comes

48:28

because now you're accepting.

48:31

It's not if, it's just when, but

48:34

what about now? What is this bringing

48:36

out for me? That's gone. That

48:39

notion where you could pay attention to you and

48:41

that there's something happening for you. There's something bigger

48:43

collectively. It's not about your paycheck. It's not about

48:45

the status. It's not about the followers. It's not

48:48

about the vertical orgy.

48:51

It's really just about you.

48:53

And you find your love for you first

48:55

because believe me, you'll never have a damn imposter

48:57

again when you do. It's in that desert, the

49:00

night sky and the cool wind. As you know,

49:02

you're walking towards somewhere where there's going to be

49:04

family, there's going to be unity. But

49:07

then you found yourself there with nothing around. You know,

49:09

it's the song by David, you know, although I walked

49:11

to the valley, the shadow of death, I'll fear no

49:13

evil for God is with me. There's

49:16

something about that. It's

49:18

there you find God, because

49:20

if God is there, then no shit,

49:22

he's going to be in the room with everybody that you have

49:24

around you in your whole life. And

49:26

when you know that and you believe it, your

49:29

partner is really just a manifestation of

49:31

literally everything you could ever imagine. All

49:34

because you did it for you. Because

49:37

that's what it's about. It's about discovering ourselves.

49:39

And this is the process by which we do it.

49:41

And that is when you find love. And that is

49:43

when you have children. And that is when you evolve.

49:45

And that is when you learn from your children. And

49:47

when you realize that they're better than you. And

49:50

that's that's a happy father, that's a happy mother, that's

49:52

a happy life, you know, to realize

49:54

that what we put back is better than ourselves. That

49:56

means we did a good job. Yeah,

49:58

I love what you What you shared

50:00

about doing it for yourself. Because when you

50:02

duty since you're so that can be taken away. From

50:05

Yale stress and he's right. I feel

50:07

a lot of times with break ups

50:09

and. Divorce is it feels like love was taken

50:11

from me that I was like in this beautiful

50:13

like my mother's womb of love run connected with

50:15

the cosmos and all things and now with like

50:18

stripped from me and then it's like how do

50:20

I find myself back in love. Alexa, you

50:22

know there's something really beautiful, but at yet

50:24

within the mother you are whole, come out

50:26

detached, right? and then you connect again to

50:28

that love and it's like a forever process

50:31

Men that mirrors again with your children. You

50:33

feel so whole and complete with them. And.

50:35

Then if you want to be the overbearing mother

50:37

attached to the children rights, when I you're on

50:40

a point where you're you're really realizing that life

50:42

is about this feeling of coming in, connecting and

50:44

letting go. You know, But that part of the

50:46

letting go processes, you're gonna realize that you're human

50:49

being. you will attach. That. With

50:51

character cousin like where you're like oh my son I

50:53

love him so much Negroes up and youths and as

50:55

you keep trying to do everything for him oh shoo

50:57

my classroom. And it's Lawson. What?

50:59

About this doesn't believe in my son. What? About this

51:01

doesn't believe in what I've done for him up to this

51:03

point. Like or the class. Then. You let

51:05

go and that comes back to really powerful

51:08

powerful stuff here because through that process is

51:10

where you're developing. wasn't. Exactly.

51:12

And knowing ourselves as the embodiment of love

51:14

Because when you live as love and you

51:16

you know I love how in the class

51:18

if they talk about romanticizing your life and

51:20

I actually believe that this is so important

51:22

as. The General Manaus. Yeah. Like get

51:24

yourself the flowers, you take yourself on the

51:26

dinner, do the things for yourself, because then

51:29

you're creating the life that you think you

51:31

can only have in relationships and that's up

51:33

in your self worth. Because and you're not

51:35

like dependent on someone else to bring me

51:37

those things. You're like I'm already living at

51:40

this set point of love to then sharing

51:42

it with someone else is just going to

51:44

amplify. Out of elevate your game, Lose it

51:46

is it's not there. And I see a

51:48

lot of woman prematurely enter into relationships where

51:51

they don't fully know the person. They might

51:53

overlook the red physx, he just want to

51:55

be in love that it doesn't even matter.

51:57

What? Follows Exotic A I just. The

52:00

to be in love is not a process

52:02

of law that sounds more like you're You're

52:04

desperate looking for an hour because you feel

52:06

completely internally void. I think

52:08

most people, men and women feel inherently lonely

52:10

because our society has made us inherently lonely

52:12

and your partner has become what the entire

52:14

village used to be. It's your best friend,

52:17

you're on your debts or that or at.

52:19

So when you don't have it, it's like

52:21

I lost a whole village. You know, most

52:23

people don't even have like friends. In.

52:25

Our that. I know that that's actually read Harper the

52:27

most people don't have friends. I did on of people

52:29

optometrist. Their people will get drinks with them on the

52:31

weekend and then go broom. I actually want to tell

52:33

you that religion to be rude was absolute shit for

52:35

you could figure out of it now. Takes.

52:37

Incidence. pick up paying has a fucking

52:40

worse. Yeah. I got married to the damn on

52:42

and right you know, like. Again, it's sneer

52:44

my best. then you're my best man.

52:46

That speech he said. Do

52:49

this. It's avoiding it, sir. But

52:52

I feel that marriage for so

52:54

long has been role playing. I'm

52:56

in a play the role of the wise

52:58

and these are my duties and you're in

53:00

a play. The role of the husband that

53:02

loves was actually very new concepts to be

53:04

brought into marriage. Like if you've ever read

53:06

the book on punches uncoupling they like, talk

53:08

about like were like actual marriage came to

53:11

be. So I feel a lot of us

53:13

right now. we don't even know what the

53:15

rules are that we're looking for. and it's

53:17

making us more confused because you know. The.

53:19

Other yeah, like. But. It's

53:21

confusing now because it's not that I need

53:24

a man to pay my bills and I

53:26

need a woman to take care of my

53:28

house. We individually do those things that there's

53:30

something that I think we deeply feel is

53:32

missing, but I feel our society makes us

53:35

feel wrong for also naming that. Of

53:37

like if you if you're not like people say

53:39

you, I just love being single and keep loving

53:42

yourself and self love and self love and I

53:44

get that and you need the somehow. You know

53:46

it's like you to get married and start

53:48

a family you should really wouldn't have to

53:50

that night. But. It's a balance of. The

53:53

shadow of just going into the marriage in the

53:55

family because you feel like you. Channel. That now

53:57

and again that stay on As beautiful as you can. Yeah,

54:00

there's there's there's an opportunity. Know the rules

54:02

are there. They. Work a vault. Which

54:04

means that they also say the same because

54:06

I think the measures they're different in each

54:08

relationship. Still, there's there's more for us to

54:11

discover and ourselves to meet back at the

54:13

common core values that were always the thing

54:15

that brought us together, but there's more to

54:17

be discovered in ourselves so that is Right

54:19

now we're experiencing as a that there's a

54:21

much larger individuation process, a process by which

54:23

people are coming to their own values and

54:25

what they believe. You know he take the

54:27

religious grow but as the parents tell her

54:29

all the time will get married right. Now.

54:31

Get married. It becomes an expectation from people

54:33

that you love and speedy you don't even

54:36

connect with. So. You know

54:38

you're always told while sex before marriage. Compound.

54:40

Those to police with each other. You'll get yourself

54:42

a really repressed, awful marriage in a world that

54:45

is evolving. So right now we're actually given the

54:47

opportunity. Realize that these things are good. They are

54:49

the ideal they are. But.

54:52

You gotta integrate yourself into it because you're the

54:54

thing that brings it into this world. And if

54:56

you're not connected to it than you will destroy

54:58

your marriage. You will literally burn your road to

55:00

laugh Because and York was you that you will

55:02

tell yourself or have given everything I candidates or

55:04

did you really? it's Iguana you think he did.

55:06

Now you sabotage your ability to actually do. It's

55:08

if you want a beautiful loving relationship, you're gonna

55:10

have to integrate your sexuality. There can't be a

55:12

drop same behind it's target. Have to be willing

55:15

to be a monkey with that person as much

55:17

as you'll be an angel. He

55:19

also got some connect with each other on those

55:21

core values the things that you wanna too minutely

55:23

build together. not because your parents told you are

55:25

the institution told you or because I know maybe

55:27

somewhere around you to said why not. We.

55:30

Have an opportunity to choose these things and believe me

55:32

when you choose these things we korean evolution of it

55:34

because there's still to archetypes you have right now. The.

55:36

Burden mother in the marriage that doesn't satisfy

55:39

her. With. Her

55:41

children which by the way brings when

55:43

the fulfillment existential it's already been proven

55:45

don't ask me that's even marriage dust

55:48

him but they look exhausted, burnt out

55:50

on fulfilled. Disconnected.

55:52

from their creativity by the way to really heartbreaking

55:54

to see and women and it makes a lot

55:56

of mental illness mother thing seems to me like

56:00

them at the bottom. And then you see this

56:02

woman that's connected with her individuality,

56:05

doing her things, expressing herself sexually

56:08

open and expressive and owns it.

56:10

And men are like, wow, but

56:12

then there's no family and children, right? So we're kind

56:14

of left with these, these archetypes are broken. We

56:17

need to collectively integrate both of those. Now,

56:19

what I realized is, is that when

56:22

the woman that's connected to her individuality

56:24

can integrate herself towards those, towards

56:27

the ideal, what ends up happening is,

56:29

is you create somebody that is extraordinarily beautiful,

56:32

and is going to thrive in every aspect

56:34

of their life, because they won't be forsaking

56:36

the filaments and the purpose and meaning that

56:38

comes behind those things. They'll be

56:41

connected to it. And a lot

56:43

of men aren't connected to fatherhood. They aren't connected to what

56:45

it is to be a husband. Right?

56:47

And so what do you think happens? It's a portion of hair

56:49

transplant by 40 and fucking the

56:51

secretary. What do you think that's a

56:53

manifestation of a non integrated shadow, a lot of

56:56

repressed emotions, a feeling of expectation burdened by life,

56:59

you're burdened by the thing that makes us literally fulfilled.

57:01

That means you didn't do it right. You didn't bring

57:03

yourself into the picture. And that

57:05

and that takes a lot of courage and it takes a lot

57:07

of self discovery. And I think even more importantly, it takes a

57:09

really good relationship with your animal nature. I'm

57:11

aware I'd run away with the secretary, if

57:13

my wife's exhausted. And now she's no longer

57:16

connected to raising the children and she's becoming

57:18

more masculine. You

57:21

don't think that's why I want to have the

57:23

tough conversation with that person really asking them and

57:25

challenging them and flicking them as they flick me

57:27

going, do you actually believe these things? Or

57:29

are you just doing this because there's nothing fucking else for you to do?

57:32

Right? And it's like a very big, big

57:34

fine line. But when you could integrate the

57:36

ideal into all of your individual passions, it's

57:40

like an unlocks you. And

57:42

you're no longer exhausted. And what do people

57:44

see? They see something that's archetypal. They see

57:46

something in the image of God. That's

57:49

the definition of the archetype. It's like the ideal

57:51

image, right? Something bigger. And

57:53

we could do that. But we have to consider

57:55

ourselves. So I'm curious to question

57:57

why is marriage and children the

58:00

ideal. Like those are two things I

58:02

don't desire. Okay, wonderful. I think that's great that

58:04

you can be so honest with yourself. Well, having gone

58:06

through a marriage and that being that

58:08

that's a really good thing for you to say to somebody any

58:11

anytime at any point, but you like that's also the thing about

58:13

dating is that you're also gonna have to be ready for why?

58:16

Well, for me, I grew up thinking about

58:19

my wedding day, because I've been conditioned that

58:21

way, you know, being Persian, it's like, who

58:23

you marry is the most important thing. Like

58:25

even the songs that like pop songs are

58:27

like, Oh, you you have this

58:29

term, you've become a pickle, which means you're like above

58:31

30 and not married. So you've pickled and it's like

58:34

you make fun of them. And it was always this

58:36

thing of like, oh, woman and our family get married

58:38

so young because we're so beautiful and like womanly and

58:40

this and like I was raised to be a wife.

58:43

Like, here's how you serve tea. Here's how you do

58:45

this. Here's how you do that. My entire life

58:47

was like how to were you ever connected to it?

58:50

I don't think it was a I think it

58:52

was just like I, it's just all I knew,

58:55

you know, and my mom was a housewife, she never

58:57

worked. So, but I would also see she didn't make

58:59

her own money. So she didn't really have like, she

59:02

had like an allowance for my dad, you know, she wasn't

59:04

like in her true power of it. And I saw very

59:06

at a young age, I'm like, I never want to be

59:09

that, you know. So for me, you

59:11

know, I got married, someone I started dating when I was

59:13

24 years old and ended up not being a

59:15

fit for a number of reasons. And

59:17

now coming out of that marriage and who I've

59:20

become in this past year, I'm like, wow, I'm

59:22

so much more in touch with my true self without

59:24

this like limitation that I had.

59:27

Some parts actual like verbal limitation of, oh, you

59:30

can't post stuff like that, or a wife is

59:32

not supposed to be like that and like actual

59:34

things, but also subconscious things of like, oh, when

59:36

you're married, you shouldn't be this way. So

59:39

isn't it really what you experienced

59:41

was a restriction. Yes. And

59:43

that's the thing about children is your parents will never really

59:45

understand you because you're an evolution of all of their understanding

59:47

up to this point. And you got it at the young

59:49

age of four years old. And

59:52

your point is to discover and integrate that into

59:54

what is, you know, like I grew up the

59:56

same way, you know, I saw an exhausted mother,

59:59

you know, six. boys, you know, two of them

1:00:01

half brothers, four of them, my me

1:00:03

being one of the four, the youngest. And

1:00:06

it was like, well, she never did the

1:00:08

allowance thing, right? What you're really seeing is

1:00:10

inherently a distortion of the value, right? Because

1:00:12

you represent archetypal what a wife is, not

1:00:15

what they are representing what it is, then

1:00:17

you'll actually come to terms with what it is. And then the same

1:00:19

thing with marriage, what is it a contract you guys sign? Is

1:00:22

it the mortgage you pay on the house or the bullshit ring that

1:00:24

you get from Tiffany's? It's like it's far

1:00:26

more than that. These things are in representation of something

1:00:28

far bigger that we actually meet. We

1:00:30

meet there. I agree. And it's all

1:00:32

around the protection of family. Well, it's like,

1:00:34

well, you wouldn't hurt your kids. Do

1:00:36

it because you had to know what they'll

1:00:39

see a completely masculinized mother and

1:00:41

a really exhausted, beaten down

1:00:43

by life dad. And

1:00:46

that's the worst thing you could do for your children. So understand

1:00:49

that that if you're not really connected to these

1:00:51

things, you're not doing anybody a favor. But

1:00:53

I'm also here to tell you that if you don't make a decision

1:00:56

at some point in your life, you'll experience

1:00:58

something far worse than exhaustion. You'll

1:01:01

experience the lack of fulfillment. And

1:01:03

there's nothing worse on a vibrational level than

1:01:05

not being connected to our spirit. So

1:01:07

it's just it's really about being like, hey, you know, was

1:01:09

mom doing this because mom chose it? Was

1:01:12

dad actually doing the thing because dad chose it? Or are

1:01:14

these both people that were just given a dialogue and just

1:01:16

ran with a dialogue, even if it's good, right? You know,

1:01:19

you tell somebody, you're good things for you to do go

1:01:21

hit the gym, they start hitting the

1:01:23

gym, then they start identifying with the gym because of all

1:01:25

the investment they make in it. Now they're like, I'm Mr.

1:01:27

gym hitter. And then they do something else, which is they

1:01:29

don't break free from the identification and go to connection, they

1:01:31

keep identifying. So they just pull more and more self worth

1:01:33

from it. Until eventually now they're

1:01:35

getting exhausted. They're getting burnt out. Well,

1:01:38

because it was and then the one day they miss a

1:01:40

week of training, they date themselves feel like they missed a

1:01:42

week of them. So it's all about

1:01:44

being able to really understand what exactly are

1:01:46

we doing when we do these things? Let's

1:01:48

have an investigation of what what are these

1:01:50

principles that we are protecting? What are men?

1:01:52

What are women? What is marriage?

1:01:55

Why family? What is family? What does it

1:01:57

represent? What are we here for? Those

1:02:00

questions you'll hear people ask themselves that maybe once

1:02:02

when they're 50 They won't

1:02:04

even have an opportunity to think it and

1:02:07

I feel that a lot of women

1:02:09

bear the grunt of raising children So

1:02:12

woman sit with this question a lot more I think

1:02:14

than men do will be a which is Women

1:02:17

are have that conversation with them either right and that's why

1:02:19

a lot of women are like wait Realistically

1:02:22

me being a mom, you know, if it's 50

1:02:24

to 70 percent divorce rate huge chance I'm

1:02:26

gonna be a single mom, you know a lot

1:02:28

of fear right and what I would I

1:02:30

want to do this as a single mom? and I

1:02:33

think if you're a yes to that then go for

1:02:35

it, but if you're a no then There's

1:02:38

just a chance that would happen on top of that,

1:02:40

you know We're no longer in

1:02:42

the tribe where we're like raising our children together

1:02:44

in a by the way That's a beautiful thing you're

1:02:46

mentioning there, which is yeah. No, there's no question about it.

1:02:48

Kids are pulled out of their homes Mothers

1:02:50

are given less responsibility. So the housewife seems

1:02:53

more like a Wait

1:02:55

when I need you at my

1:02:57

women call and Figure

1:03:00

it the fuck out you're on your

1:03:02

own, right? So it's not actually salvation because it's

1:03:04

actually void of community, right? There was sisterhood and

1:03:06

there's brotherhood women were really focusing on the development

1:03:09

of their own children because women that really care

1:03:11

about their children Don't just exploit them and send

1:03:13

them to an educational system that makes them question

1:03:15

their self-worth coming out knowing

1:03:17

jackshit like as if fractions have helped

1:03:19

you about life and And that's

1:03:22

that's the problem, you know, there there is

1:03:24

no full accountability of what it means to

1:03:26

be a father and a mother There's

1:03:30

so much good that comes from it and

1:03:32

I would hate for anybody to abandon that because of

1:03:35

course you're gonna see yourself And

1:03:37

if you think that you've grown up to this

1:03:39

point, I even myself I'm speaking just because I

1:03:41

have 13 nieces and nephews they're

1:03:45

The best representation of how you can improve yourself.

1:03:47

You'll see how quickly you'll give advice You'll see

1:03:49

how quickly you'll start swearing like sailor, you know

1:03:52

You'll start seeing a lot of your behavior changing and

1:03:54

it's like because you understand that maybe it's about protection

1:03:56

of what is true And the truest thing is the

1:03:58

child the child is the authentic part of us

1:04:00

that doesn't make us artificial and will fight back

1:04:03

for what we believe is right. So

1:04:05

we preserve it. We protect it. Women educate, grow it,

1:04:07

nurture it, and heal it. And

1:04:09

men represent the accumulation of the values that were

1:04:11

instilled by their mother. But

1:04:14

most women in this society do not have

1:04:16

the luxury of being supported by a devoted

1:04:18

husband who is taking care of all of

1:04:20

their needs so they can homeschool their children.

1:04:23

Right? Well, I mean, that's the whole thing. It's like

1:04:25

two people giving up on the ideal, two people giving

1:04:27

up on the dream. And

1:04:29

truth be told, not all women want that.

1:04:32

I would not want that reality. You know,

1:04:34

I do feel that a lot of women

1:04:36

are reaching higher levels of self-actualization where, you

1:04:39

know, I wouldn't be on this podcast if

1:04:41

that was my reality. And I do feel

1:04:43

deeply fulfilled from it. So maybe

1:04:45

it is time to question those roles. Like, I

1:04:47

would be curious, are those maybe

1:04:50

to you they're the ideal, but maybe they're not the

1:04:52

ideal to every person. Well, that's what I'm saying. I

1:04:55

don't think that there's anything romantic about a

1:04:57

man going, hmm, fatherhood, protecting

1:04:59

a woman, monogamy. But

1:05:01

if we don't question those things and actually start going,

1:05:03

well, if those things ring

1:05:06

true, and I'm all the

1:05:08

way out here, maybe we can

1:05:10

bring these both here so I can actually bring

1:05:12

it into the world, opposed to just be the

1:05:14

idealistic religious individual who everybody hates, who even pulls

1:05:16

their power from the fact that they believe in

1:05:18

God more than you do. So

1:05:20

they're not actually righteous. They don't believe in God. They

1:05:23

just attach their worth to their belief in God. So

1:05:25

what you're really getting into is, is the struggle behind

1:05:27

life. Like, why? Evolutionarily

1:05:29

speaking, like if I just completely made you reptile,

1:05:31

you wouldn't even be having this conversation. You'd be

1:05:33

finding a guy, you'd be reproducing, he'd be like,

1:05:36

okay, this works. I protect you want to protect

1:05:38

my offspring, just doing it just because. So

1:05:40

like what you're describing is inherently the advanced version of

1:05:42

that, just doing it just because my parents told me,

1:05:44

this is what I think I believe. This

1:05:46

is what I know to be true. But

1:05:48

it's really the same thing. So it's like what you're pretty

1:05:50

much bringing in here is the choice. And

1:05:53

with choice, there has to come connection. And there's

1:05:55

no choice unless there's full understanding of it. There's

1:05:58

a lot of dark sides to fatherhood. There's a lot of dark sides. dark

1:06:00

sides to motherhood. There's a

1:06:02

lot of dark sides to monogamy, with

1:06:04

a lot of dark sides to a healthy relationship. A lot

1:06:07

of dark sides to me, there's a lot of dark sides to you. And

1:06:10

if we can't burn both of those things out into the light

1:06:12

so that we can make a decision, then

1:06:14

is it really a choice? Or is it just

1:06:16

something that we conveniently do because we just want to survive

1:06:18

into the next day and experience a little more dopamine? I

1:06:21

think that that is a frightening idea that people

1:06:23

actually won't look at the accumulation of these things,

1:06:26

accept them and understand that it will come with

1:06:28

responsibility. And the difference is faith. Why

1:06:31

would this be different? Let's just say you

1:06:33

meet a guy, top-notch level dude. He says

1:06:35

everything that you've done, he's discovered himself to the level

1:06:37

that he has. Maybe he came out of a divorce

1:06:39

himself. He's ready to give this a

1:06:41

go. It's going to threaten a lot about who you are right

1:06:43

now. And it's going to threaten a lot about who he is

1:06:45

right now. There's a lot of power

1:06:48

and significance pulled to men that could have multiple women.

1:06:50

There's also a lot of significance that I get even

1:06:52

from being single. And I've had to discover that. Because

1:06:54

I feel what? I'm on my own. I'm

1:06:57

free. I can do whatever. That'll

1:06:59

be threatened when I get married. That'll be threatened

1:07:01

when I have children. But I have to be

1:07:03

able to see the negative associations behind it. Because

1:07:05

the last thing I want to be is the

1:07:07

clean-shaven dude in his 30s with a Rolex driving

1:07:09

a convertible. You want to be able to

1:07:11

move on past that. You know the biggest nightmares? Is

1:07:13

seeing the 45-year-old guy at the club. Also

1:07:17

the biggest nightmare? The single mother who's also at

1:07:20

the club. You're telling me that that's a

1:07:22

utopia? It's not a utopia. And it's like, well, we understand what

1:07:24

the utopia is. And it's like, what do you say the guy

1:07:26

at the club, brother? Everyone's miserable at the club. Let's be real.

1:07:29

Yeah, right? It's like, get a wife, bro. You

1:07:31

know what I'm saying? And it's like, in her case,

1:07:33

it's shit. What happened? You know? Okay,

1:07:35

here's the alternative. Let's reverse this. Not

1:07:39

those depictions. But like, maybe

1:07:42

someone just loves music. And this

1:07:44

lifetime for them is not about being a parent. Look, all

1:07:46

I'm just trying to say is that you put somebody in

1:07:48

an environment, which is clearly like, whenever

1:07:51

I hear somebody and I meet somebody and it was some dude, I was

1:07:53

actually gonna buy a car off of him. And I'm

1:07:55

at a good looking guy, successful dude. And

1:08:00

I was like, oh, are you married? Have any kids? It's

1:08:02

like, fuck no, dude. And I was like,

1:08:05

okay, how old are you? It's like 38. Does

1:08:09

that make you feel safe as a woman? No,

1:08:11

of course. I heard some guy at the gym today, but

1:08:13

he was, he told the other guy, they're

1:08:15

both in their fifties, maybe sixties, he's like, bro,

1:08:17

you're so lucky you're not married. I'm like,

1:08:20

wow, is this how people talk? Right? And

1:08:22

it's like, that's not a good thing to

1:08:24

say. It's like, I can't imagine that being

1:08:26

a healthy society. Not,

1:08:28

I also don't burden people with these things.

1:08:31

Help people, like, what do you think what children are? Like you just

1:08:33

want them to be the best, right? You want them to be

1:08:36

the best that they can be. You want them to make the

1:08:38

right choices. Can you make them make the right choices? No,

1:08:40

you can't, unless you're an overbearing father, overbearing mother, which

1:08:42

means that you're going to fuck your child up. So

1:08:45

ultimately at the end of the day, it doesn't involve faith

1:08:47

and just belief that this person will make the right choices

1:08:49

for themselves. And you know,

1:08:51

like, this is actually how we can start doing that.

1:08:53

And it's like, I love how we act like, you

1:08:55

know, pregnancy just won't happen. If people are having sex.

1:08:58

So like, we're either creating a reality or we're not

1:09:00

protecting sex and actually elevating

1:09:02

men and women to be meeting in

1:09:04

the context of sex, or

1:09:06

you're constantly exploiting it. You know, you're inherently promoting

1:09:08

people to not go on about what life is

1:09:10

about. It is to provide, to

1:09:12

protect, to love and to nurture and to

1:09:14

reproduce. I mean, it is

1:09:17

a pretty simple game, but we have to start

1:09:19

understanding the complexity behind ourselves to understand that we

1:09:21

will start playing the simple with our complexity that'll

1:09:23

make us fulfilled. So I'm

1:09:25

curious your take on this, you know, I've

1:09:27

been really sitting with this concept of marriage

1:09:29

till death do us part. How can, how

1:09:32

can we know? We, we change

1:09:34

so much. Why is a successful relationship one

1:09:36

that lasts for the rest of our lives?

1:09:39

I see myself, how much I've changed in every

1:09:41

seven years, you're entirely a new person every cell

1:09:44

in your body changes. So maybe the

1:09:46

new model of it is be together

1:09:48

for as long as it feels

1:09:50

mutually beneficial. I agree with you.

1:09:52

You know, you got to do it once and you do it once,

1:09:54

one day, you show up one day and

1:09:57

you got the divorce papers on the left side of the

1:09:59

bed and you can. make love to each other on the right. This

1:10:03

is a world where we have to evolve,

1:10:05

we have to be better. We have to confront

1:10:07

our insecurities because clearly the people that do these

1:10:09

things are in very long lasting, healthy, loving relationships.

1:10:12

And they're still in love with each other. A

1:10:15

level of presence is scary. Presence is scary because there's

1:10:17

no security in presence. And

1:10:19

as men and as women, we typically like to

1:10:22

know that we can provide that to you and

1:10:25

as men we can feel it. Imagine

1:10:28

that, showing up every day with a

1:10:30

person without placing an expectation on them. And

1:10:33

you guys are both meeting towards those

1:10:35

core values together, cumulatively, showing up every day like

1:10:39

that's all you have. And what if till death do us part was

1:10:41

I die at 12. How

1:10:43

much can I give to this? Don't

1:10:46

project yourself into the future, right? That statement itself is protecting

1:10:48

yourself in the future. And you're like, what

1:10:50

if you get fat? Projection in the future. What if

1:10:52

I'm no longer attracted to you? Projection into

1:10:54

the future. You're beautiful. And

1:10:57

I'm extraordinarily attracted to you. Now 20s.

1:10:59

Show up to that every day and watch how your

1:11:02

definition of beauty changes when you are fat and old.

1:11:06

Now many people want to do that. Well, because it'd

1:11:08

be so great. I know that I have the woman, all my self worth

1:11:10

and remember the checklist of things that

1:11:13

a now partner has to be. They

1:11:15

met all of your needs that have ill-adulged me, right? As you

1:11:17

like to say. And

1:11:21

then now you have to, and then now you have to

1:11:25

realize that that doesn't make you feel filled at all. But really

1:11:27

what I was initially saying prior to that is that you're

1:11:30

going to have to show up every day to this. Like as

1:11:33

if the door is open, are

1:11:35

you that secure? And of

1:11:37

course, you know, there's going to be fights and you're going to

1:11:39

come back to the words that you said to somebody and those

1:11:41

things have value. And if marriage isn't a vow, that

1:11:44

should be taken really fucking seriously, which I agree.

1:11:48

But it's also something that needs to be shown up to every

1:11:50

day if you want to keep it romantic. Because

1:11:52

somebody says marriage to a man, it

1:11:55

feels sexless. Right? You say it's

1:11:57

a woman, it feels safe. Also feels sexless. Because

1:12:00

that's the 21st century paradigm, is if it's committed

1:12:02

and if it stands for something more and if

1:12:04

it involves often something that allowed you to exist

1:12:06

like children, I don't want it. So

1:12:09

why do we need the paper? We

1:12:11

don't need the paper. I'm convinced we don't need the paper. You don't need

1:12:13

the rabbi. You don't need the minister. It's a

1:12:16

commitment that a man makes to a woman. It's between

1:12:18

each other. And it is sealed with

1:12:20

two things, you having sex with each other and

1:12:22

living with each other. If that isn't,

1:12:25

and of course children, because that will be

1:12:27

the difference between a serious relationship or a non-serious relationship.

1:12:29

Because I can tell you a lot

1:12:31

of women are married and it's like, well, I

1:12:33

was married, but you

1:12:36

just had a document from the state that allows you

1:12:38

to kind of not have to... You

1:12:40

had a break up with a party. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's

1:12:42

like, you don't want there to be... There's

1:12:44

of course a serious amount of investment

1:12:47

that goes into it, just like a business would. What

1:12:50

I learned from having my divorce is that marriage

1:12:53

is in no way security. It's in no way,

1:12:55

oh, now that we're married, I'm going to show

1:12:57

up as the husband that I always was going

1:12:59

to be. People's shadows will show up regardless.

1:13:01

Yeah, date each other. Try that. Keep

1:13:04

dating each other. And if you want to call it

1:13:06

marriage, if you want to call it soul union, whatever

1:13:08

keeps you turned on, don't use the word.

1:13:11

You can't say the word God to a lot of people. It immediately shuts

1:13:13

them down. And I'm not here to tell you that God is the only

1:13:15

word to define Him by. The universe,

1:13:17

the eternal spirit, the infinite intelligence, you know, whatever you

1:13:19

want to do. But just like get

1:13:22

together, understand that if you guys are really meeting

1:13:24

each other eye to eye on every level, challenge

1:13:26

each other first and see if that brings the best

1:13:28

out on each other. And if that keeps doing that, well, I

1:13:31

think you met your soulmate because every time

1:13:33

you're like, sex is boring, not

1:13:35

feeling connected and they don't go, what's wrong with

1:13:37

me? Or vice versa. You can

1:13:39

have somebody sit down and listen to you and

1:13:41

you could create an intimate space by which you guys come together.

1:13:45

Of course, there's going to be positive. That

1:13:47

person's invaluable. There's nothing you could do

1:13:49

to replace that person because there's somebody

1:13:51

that only wants your well-being. And

1:13:53

you guys both also want the goal, the

1:13:55

vision. You both want it so much.

1:13:57

And when I'm done wanting you or for maybe…

1:14:00

one day, it doesn't feel so great. I know

1:14:02

that we both want this and that we will want each

1:14:04

other. And that takes wisdom and

1:14:06

understanding of what this is collectively. Because if I think, you

1:14:08

know, I'll just leave this and find somebody else with a

1:14:11

different name, that's very common for people.

1:14:13

You find the same girl, different name, same guy, different

1:14:15

name. So it's very important to understand that you got

1:14:17

to recognize that too. That if you do not confront

1:14:19

the internal issues and you can do it with a

1:14:21

woman and a woman will reflect everything on an internal

1:14:23

level. So being with a woman is like an accelerated

1:14:25

version to being single. And being with a man is

1:14:27

like an accelerated version of being single too, because they'll

1:14:29

bring out all the repressed parts in you. So

1:14:32

opposed to me having to go, Hmm, interesting emotion I felt

1:14:34

when I was on this podcast, I can already

1:14:36

understand a lot of the repressed emotions that I have just by

1:14:38

looking at the woman in front of me, and vice versa. So

1:14:42

how we're supposed to be like, it's just how we're supposed

1:14:44

to bring out all of your shadows. And

1:14:47

you can only really go so far in your

1:14:49

healing when you're single, because your blind spots are

1:14:51

not illuminated. Isn't that crazy? And relationship? Oh my

1:14:53

god, that's crazy. Yeah, that is so cool. And

1:14:55

we're designed to be relational beings, no doubt

1:14:57

about it. It's just, I think

1:14:59

this institution of marriage with this contract

1:15:02

to the government, it just doesn't, you

1:15:04

know, and I believe

1:15:06

a lot of us need to go through

1:15:08

that to find the illusion and then realize

1:15:10

that ultimately, it's exactly that that choosing of

1:15:13

each other and creating a

1:15:15

dharmic relationship. So like, Dharma,

1:15:17

Dharma is your soul's purpose. The big reason

1:15:19

why you're here to know a dharmic relationship

1:15:21

is one where the relationship has a

1:15:23

shared mission, a shared goal, a

1:15:27

project, a creation, a family, something that

1:15:29

you're here to bring together. And I

1:15:31

believe that that's ultimately the

1:15:33

Siddhi, the highest state of relationship of like

1:15:35

coming together for something greater. So then when

1:15:37

there are those sexless months and those hard

1:15:39

conversations and the times that you do want

1:15:41

to leave, which inevitably will show up, whether

1:15:43

you have a marriage contract or not, it

1:15:45

will, it's not always going to be fun

1:15:48

and easy, that there's something greater that's bringing

1:15:50

you together. I think that all we've known

1:15:52

in history is family, but it could be

1:15:54

you're making a documentary together. It could be that you made

1:15:56

a retreat center together. It could be that you're writing children's

1:15:58

books or whatever the thing is. And I think if

1:16:01

more relationships had that, they would work

1:16:03

through a lot of the things that make it so

1:16:05

easy to just walk away the moment it gets uncomfortable.

1:16:09

You mentioned something about it because there is this...

1:16:14

There's nothing secure about marriage and

1:16:16

there's nothing secure about life. You're floating on a speck

1:16:18

with infinity in each direction. Especially

1:16:20

love and emotion. Absolutely. It's like, well, you're

1:16:22

telling me what doesn't allow somebody's life to

1:16:24

move forward is purely based off belief, is

1:16:26

based off faith. It's something that transcends the

1:16:28

infinity in each direction. It makes infinity look

1:16:30

small. It's something eternal.

1:16:34

So, you show up to a marriage and

1:16:36

I would just say this for anybody, is that you

1:16:38

need three things. You need confrontational ability. The

1:16:41

ability to understand that everything is going to

1:16:43

come around, you know, sitting down and confronting

1:16:45

that person. Even if they leave

1:16:47

the socks out and pisses you off. If they did

1:16:50

something in the bedroom that didn't feel like they met

1:16:52

you, you communicated. So it might feel like a lot

1:16:54

of that. Everything spontaneity, the

1:16:56

joy of life. Somebody wants to make love,

1:16:59

do it there, yes and don't bring a lot

1:17:01

of no into it. You might not feel it,

1:17:04

but don't undermine what will come in the future

1:17:06

when you reward that he bought you maybe the

1:17:08

flowers you didn't like. Don't go like, you didn't

1:17:10

get me roses. Sure, he got you lilies, but

1:17:13

he bought you flowers. Reward the fuck

1:17:15

out of it. And then you could throw

1:17:17

your preferences after when they see that this is

1:17:19

the behavior you want. And then of course, the

1:17:21

last one is his presence. You're going to have to show up with

1:17:23

this and you're as difficult as that may be. There's going to be

1:17:25

a lot of fear, but you're going to have to really believe in

1:17:27

the person in front of you and trust them. And

1:17:30

if you could trust them that you guys are accumulatively doing this together,

1:17:32

then if we can at least have a

1:17:34

good seven years together that we gave it our all, then

1:17:36

that's what's important. Come in with that

1:17:38

mindset and you might find yourself falling in love. And

1:17:41

then you guys both won't be asking any

1:17:44

other question except how can I have you more in my

1:17:47

life? And that's a romantic

1:17:49

reality, but it's just one that takes a little bit

1:17:51

more awareness. So let's say someone

1:17:53

is listening to this and they love how

1:17:56

that sounds, but it just feels like their

1:17:58

husband is just maybe. not

1:18:01

at a level of consciousness to

1:18:03

fully understand that. And

1:18:05

maybe there's just so much built up resentment

1:18:07

that it feels like that

1:18:09

just feels so far away. How can

1:18:11

they start to bring more

1:18:14

of this coherence and heart connection that's

1:18:16

the foundation of then having these

1:18:19

difficult conversations? Yeah, absolutely. Well,

1:18:22

for one, if you're feeling resentment towards somebody, imagine

1:18:24

feeling frozen anger towards them every time that you

1:18:26

see them until eventually they trigger you, piss you

1:18:29

off, or you get drunk, and then you express

1:18:31

it. So that immediately needs to be

1:18:33

confronted, is that you have to make sure that all of

1:18:35

these things and all of the dirty laundry is out of

1:18:37

the table, and that when you guys move on, you move

1:18:39

on with even a fake smile for now. That

1:18:42

it's not an easy conversation to have, whereas I've been

1:18:44

secretly hating you for seven years. And

1:18:47

you're like, why? Because you never consider me. And he's like, well, how

1:18:49

can I consider you if you don't speak up? But

1:18:52

I feel when women speak up, the men

1:18:54

often feel I'm being criticized. Well, that's

1:18:56

the whole thing, that you can always set a frame when

1:18:58

confronting people. Look, I'm gonna sound like a harsh, mean, aggressive

1:19:00

bitch. I really just wanna know I'm out here in support

1:19:02

of you. And I just want you to know this. I

1:19:05

don't want to be in a position where I have to lie

1:19:07

to you. Are you willing to let me tell

1:19:09

you the truth? There isn't a human

1:19:11

being on earth that goes the truth. Go fuck off, pick

1:19:13

your truth elsewhere. They'll go, please, I'm listening. This

1:19:16

may sound harsh and critical, but I don't

1:19:18

know any other way to express it. See, that's called being

1:19:20

vulnerable. You'll get vulnerability from another person instantly. And

1:19:23

now the other thing is, you know, you're probably listening to this, and

1:19:25

you're like, whoa, this sounds great. I could be having that. Don't

1:19:28

undermine that you married that person. So there's gonna

1:19:30

be a few things you need to consider. What you

1:19:32

were looking for prior when marrying that person.

1:19:35

If you're gonna leave them, or if you're

1:19:37

with them, understand what they've given

1:19:39

you. Because if you can't

1:19:41

recognize why you went into it, then you can't recognize what you

1:19:43

were missing, that you wanted from this relationship, that you still weren't

1:19:45

given. So it might not be their fault, it might be yours.

1:19:48

Then pay a little attention to if you guys are gonna break up or

1:19:50

whatever it is, or if you're gonna

1:19:52

move forward. Notice how much they've given you so that

1:19:54

you can recognize that they've done more than enough. Because

1:19:57

if you're gonna demonize him, and you think that that's gonna be your way

1:19:59

of moving. non will good fucking luck. And

1:20:01

then most importantly, you got to create the ideal, whether you

1:20:04

broke up with him or whether you guys are together, you're

1:20:06

still gonna have to do one thing. You're gonna have to

1:20:08

realize that you guys are really here together collectively to

1:20:10

build this thing. Now personality differences

1:20:12

and a whole list of priority

1:20:14

differences can create a lot of struggle. But

1:20:18

when you guys are really in it together, you guys are in it to win

1:20:20

it. And you guys are both on the

1:20:22

same boat here, which is I

1:20:25

don't want to have to compromise who I am, which is

1:20:27

the most important one you cannot compromise in a relationship. I

1:20:29

know that it's like something that you guys want to do.

1:20:31

But if you hit the point to where compromise is where

1:20:33

you guys are going, well, the relationship is pretty much over

1:20:35

because now you're going to have to cut off a part

1:20:37

of yourself. And if you're okay to do that with a

1:20:39

smile, go for it. But more than likely, you're not going

1:20:41

to cut off your own hand so that they have a

1:20:43

little more rest for their arm. I agree with you.

1:20:45

And I've said that and I've heard the feedback of like,

1:20:47

well, marriage is compromised. And I always say, well, how can

1:20:49

you create a win win? Oh, well,

1:20:51

you got to be a kick ass negotiator who's willing to sit

1:20:53

down and believe in the things that they say and also believe

1:20:55

that the person in front of you wants the same thing. Right.

1:20:58

You want to sleep well, but it's cold. You

1:21:00

like it at 64 degrees. I like it at

1:21:03

75. That's

1:21:05

going to be rough at first because bed sleep, we both

1:21:07

need sleep, right? Okay, we got it. Right. So there's a

1:21:09

lot of love already. I understand

1:21:11

that you both need sleep. But every time it's at

1:21:13

75, you're sweating your ass off. And I'm just fine.

1:21:16

Right. But every time it's 64, I'm fucking shivering. So

1:21:18

what most people do is they go, okay, babe, we'll

1:21:22

do 75. And now you're having miserable sleep. Now

1:21:25

I wake up the next morning and I'm like, what's wrong?

1:21:27

You're like, nothing didn't sleep well. Oh, right.

1:21:29

And it's like, well, what you're supposed

1:21:32

to be doing is really discovering how you can make

1:21:34

that person smile as you do to. That's

1:21:36

the act of love. And that's going to take challenging. But look

1:21:38

at most people's upbringing. Do you think they had an opportunity to

1:21:40

go, hey, mom, dad, this is what I think. This is what

1:21:42

I believe. Bring it out. No,

1:21:45

they get shut down immediately. So it's something that you

1:21:47

guys have to understand that it's not natural. It's

1:21:49

something you need to go out of your way for. So then when

1:21:51

you do it, you go, hey, well, how about this? We

1:21:54

do 64 degrees. I'm happy.

1:21:57

You're not, but we get

1:21:59

you. bleeding blanket on the other side of

1:22:01

it. So that means that you're gonna

1:22:03

be happy, I'm gonna be happy. We're keeping it at

1:22:05

64. It's not halfway

1:22:08

window open, window closed, or

1:22:10

70 degrees, both miserable.

1:22:12

It's gonna be both of our needs

1:22:14

met, because the last thing we want

1:22:16

is a contentious, agreeable, resentful partner in

1:22:18

the morning. And we both wanna make

1:22:20

sure that if it's within our ability to

1:22:23

work towards making each other come closer

1:22:25

through a little negotiation, then let's do it. Because

1:22:27

if you think that you got it right as

1:22:30

a person, like, bro, we're so used to our

1:22:32

preferences. Don't you wanna expand? Well,

1:22:34

you will never expand unless you're open. And

1:22:37

that could be scary for a lot of men, you

1:22:39

know? Open? Well, what if I'm too open?

1:22:41

Well, that's why you should probably pay attention to

1:22:44

incorporate a little bit more presence, and

1:22:46

you'll realize when you're being too open or too flexible.

1:22:49

And then in these cases like this, it's

1:22:51

gonna be an amazing life. But of course, if it's

1:22:54

chocolate and vanilla, she wants chocolate, and I don't really

1:22:56

care for chocolate, it doesn't have anything to do with

1:22:58

my values, let's grab chocolate, you know? She

1:23:00

wants the walls blue, and I literally couldn't give

1:23:02

a shit. Let's give the walls blue. And

1:23:05

it's like you can really start realizing that actually any

1:23:08

of you guys are existing at 300%, not just

1:23:10

even 200%, 300%. Because it's like a

1:23:12

part of you that's like open to receive an

1:23:14

additional 100 if you guys are both coming in as 100

1:23:16

and 100. Right, and then

1:23:18

it's no longer a compromise because you're ultimately

1:23:20

both getting love on the other end. Absolutely,

1:23:23

and by the way, it's actually really fun too when you know that you're

1:23:25

gonna get down to the bottom of it. Every

1:23:27

time you have a confrontation with your partner, it's

1:23:29

gotten better. Do you think that you're

1:23:31

gonna have a negative association of confrontation, or

1:23:33

it's gonna be something you call? Contribution that

1:23:35

is collective. It's

1:23:38

very romantic too. You guys are like, ooh, what do we

1:23:40

have here today? Sorry, what did I do? Right? And

1:23:43

then it's no longer a personal attack on your worth or your

1:23:45

value, or you're not good enough. It's just a way that we

1:23:47

can get closer together. And that's something that's important now. It

1:23:50

might be how you raise the kids. Well, that's a conversation

1:23:52

you should've had on the first date. You

1:23:54

might've looked like a loony when you said it on the

1:23:56

first date, but no. That's somebody who cares about themselves. Believe

1:23:58

me, she'll see it. She'll respect it.

1:24:01

If you mean it. What do you mean? Kids with you? I

1:24:04

don't even know you. I don't care. It's just about you as

1:24:06

a person. I want to understand how you feel about raising children.

1:24:09

And you don't want a Buddhist household and a Jewish

1:24:11

one. You don't want a Catholic and

1:24:14

a Hindu. You want to make

1:24:16

sure that you guys are collectively going to raise the children

1:24:18

the same way. And those kinds of things cannot be compromised

1:24:20

because those are the things that make you you. And

1:24:23

if you're willing to kill you, what do you think you just told her

1:24:25

that you're going to do to her later? That

1:24:29

one hit. Well,

1:24:31

thank you so much for sharing all of this.

1:24:33

It really left us so much to really like

1:24:35

gnaw on. I feel like every single little piece

1:24:37

you said, it's like it

1:24:40

could be a chapter of a book. So thank

1:24:42

you for sharing that. Yeah. And

1:24:44

I feel people will want to re-listen to

1:24:46

this episode again and again and really get

1:24:48

all the gems out of there. So I

1:24:50

want to acknowledge you for your wisdom that

1:24:53

you've just incarnated with at this young age

1:24:55

and being able to like have these awarenesses.

1:24:58

It's so beautiful and it gives me hope and

1:25:00

men and the rising of the masculine and shows us,

1:25:02

you know, we kind of have this idea that like,

1:25:05

oh, well, like only until a man's like 43

1:25:08

does he reach emotional maturity. It's heartbreaking,

1:25:10

isn't it? Right. So

1:25:13

I love seeing that being inherent in you because

1:25:15

it gives us evidence that it's possible. So thank

1:25:17

you for existing. Wow. Thank you

1:25:19

so much for having me and for being so precise and

1:25:22

also connecting to what you believe. That's

1:25:24

great. That's really, it's fresh. Connect

1:25:27

to the things that they say. They just, they're like, this is

1:25:29

a good buzzword for Instagram. It's like, no, I felt that immediately.

1:25:31

Every time you spoke, it almost took me to step back. Very

1:25:33

powerful. Thank you so much. Well,

1:25:35

thank you guys so much for tuning in. I

1:25:37

hope you gain so much from it. Please share

1:25:40

it on your Instagram stories. Tag us.

1:25:42

This is a really powerful way of having these deep

1:25:44

vulnerable conversations with your friends, getting to know each other.

1:25:46

So if you guys, I feel like a lot of

1:25:48

times us girls, we go to our friends for support

1:25:51

and it can actually like really mess with our heads

1:25:53

sometimes. And our friend gives us a piece of advice.

1:25:55

Maybe just it's coming out of the goodness of their

1:25:57

heart, but it's something that they've read. for

1:26:00

like maybe your friend group to listen to so

1:26:02

you can all kind of like have this conversation

1:26:04

and say yeah These are the things that I

1:26:06

want and then be able to give each other

1:26:08

advice From that place because I

1:26:10

know how deeply that affects us And

1:26:13

if you love this episode, please leave a review

1:26:15

for it in the iTunes store And I will

1:26:17

send you my free womb meditation Which is a

1:26:19

meditation that allows you to connect to your divine

1:26:22

feminine sacred center your womb place What

1:26:24

is your house of intuition creativity sensuality and

1:26:26

so much more? So all you got to

1:26:28

do is leave a review on the iTunes

1:26:30

store Take a screenshot and email it over

1:26:33

to me at Sahara at I am Sahara

1:26:35

Rose calm You can find that email

1:26:37

and all of the links mentioned in the show notes

1:26:39

Thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see

1:26:41

you in the next one You