0:00

Welcome to Hold up, it's not Josh

0:02

Johnson, it's not dual, say Sloan, It's

0:04

me Roy Wood Junior. And on this episode

0:07

we're going to be talking Wait, why a y'all

0:09

looking at me like.

0:10

That, because it's not You're gonna

0:12

say it's not us and we're here. If

0:14

you if we weren't in the room, if you were

0:16

in the room and you were like alone and

0:19

you said it's not, say slow,

0:21

it's not.

0:21

But it's like with the news, like when you hear a new

0:24

voice, they'd be like, where the fuck is the other anchor.

0:26

I'm just saying, when you have a guest on a podcast,

0:29

you introduce the guest.

0:31

The guest doesn't introduce you,

0:33

like when you have visitors, they don't open the door to your

0:36

house.

0:36

It's first off, I thought, since I had already moderated

0:39

y'all special episode a while back,

0:41

was that the one a while back I.

0:43

Came in before what

0:46

I came.

0:46

In on the previous episode and moderated some shit

0:48

between y'all. So I thought that I already had keys to

0:50

the crib and that y'all wouldn't mind me. That

0:54

was what I'm saying.

0:54

That's what it was.

0:55

But it was an episode?

0:56

Is that what? Before we figure out what this was?

1:00

A promo counts as an episode. It

1:02

was just a little commercial. Okay,

1:04

that don't count.

1:05

No, negro don't count.

1:07

Okay, then you know what, y'all do your own intro?

1:08

Okay, well, hey, everybody is

1:11

josh Johnson even

1:14

why hey, hey, hey.

1:15

What you're not gonna do.

1:17

What you're not gonna do is come

1:19

on this podcast and tell Joshua

1:22

Ezekiel Johnson that he is

1:24

not introducing the intro like the way

1:26

he needs to be introducing.

1:28

I feel like I'm introducing

1:30

it the same way. If anything, if

1:32

anything, every time somebody listened,

1:38

accusations, how

1:41

many episodes of that podcast.

1:43

Listen, I will say that I am team

1:46

spaghetti. Wow?

1:48

Okay, wow, it was spaghetti versus

1:50

lasagna, right, yes, yeah,

1:53

spaghetti because it's more appliable,

1:55

it's easier to make. Lasagna is

1:58

a whole ordeal.

1:59

That was my whole point.

2:01

Yeah, yeah, but you were wrong.

2:03

Look here, what you think just because

2:05

we in this tiny room.

2:07

Hey, hey, neither

2:09

one of y'all can get it. I know both

2:11

your mamas, you understand. I have

2:14

had dinner with both of your mothers in the city

2:16

of Atlanta because that's where black people live.

2:18

Okay, Oh

2:22

yeah, we had dinner with t Pain Damn.

2:24

You're right, yeah,

2:26

you.

2:26

Do know my mama Korean barbecue with your

2:29

mama.

2:29

Okay, my bad. Josh, go ahead with your introduction.

2:33

The disrespect. Are you gonna come to somebody

2:35

else's house and tell them that they wrong? In

2:38

the trailer where we pay rent?

2:40

My my name is Josh Johnson. I'm right

2:42

for the Daily Show, and I am joined

2:44

by Don't Say's long.

2:48

Listen, just imagine that as.

2:50

A fireworks okay, yeah, with

2:52

a pop pop with.

2:53

The yeah,

2:57

because apparently you know what fun

3:00

I did what I said. Listen, y'all

3:02

trying to act like I'm not out here making

3:04

these noises and I'm where.

3:06

Josh, You're in

3:08

here, no out

3:10

here, noise

3:13

making.

3:14

In the in the

3:16

mall.

3:18

Oh okay with with your father? Yeah

3:21

yeah, yeah, I didn't know that.

3:24

That didn't feel like the tea up that you thought it was.

3:27

You know what, I just said one word, so

3:30

I was like, in here.

3:32

You know what I'm in here, I'm out here, we out

3:34

here. I apologize that did

3:36

not give you the proper the

3:40

proper information, the proper tea up.

3:41

As you say, this episode

3:44

is a very special episode. This episode

3:47

is.

3:47

Where we get the most

3:49

interaction that we've had with

3:52

all of you. You know, this is this

3:54

is the episode where we get some of that

3:56

feedback, some of these opinions

3:58

about what we said, and who's on

4:00

our side and who's right and who's wrong and everything.

4:03

And who's supporting a good Christian

4:05

woman.

4:06

And then Roy is

4:08

here to moderate because if left

4:10

to our own devices, as good

4:12

of friends as we are, I feel like per

4:15

comment, per subject, we would

4:17

get too distracted.

4:18

I'm a walking tangent.

4:20

I'm a man.

4:20

I

4:23

I'm not helpful A

4:25

lot of the time.

4:27

I have so many things going on in

4:30

my brain because as a creative person, okay

4:32

you know the person who has like that, things

4:34

like just the synopsiss like

4:37

pop it off, the what's

4:40

listen, I've been hanging out.

4:41

With PD but you but you see,

4:44

I'm used to people touching the temple.

4:46

I'm not used to this and then this

4:48

over and then this bad.

4:50

Well see the thing this is just thinking,

4:52

Okay, this is the synapsis

4:55

firing.

4:55

Ye do you mean synapses?

5:00

I thought you meant like multiple summaries.

5:02

Yeah, that's what I thought.

5:03

Synopsis synopsis

5:06

not SYNAPSI you know what, Let's

5:08

go on to the first YouTube comment.

5:11

No, I'm making plural, y'all not gonna do me like this? How

5:13

you're making plural?

5:14

There?

5:15

Look, it's a pleasure to be here

5:18

and take a walk down memory lane

5:20

of some of the biggest arguments that you two

5:22

had conversations.

5:25

Hey, look, whatever synopsis you want to

5:27

put to it, you go, ready, head.

5:29

I have a whole bowl of fruit that

5:31

I will throw.

5:34

The first comments come

5:37

off of the very first episode

5:39

Conscious Rap versus Club

5:41

Bangers. Let's get to that.

5:43

I'm not a huge kindlick

5:45

with maar fan because I

5:48

think he sounds like a muppet.

5:50

So you could have stopped at not a huge

5:52

fan. See,

5:58

this is what you do. This, this is

6:00

your whole vibe. You like to put your foot

6:02

on the line and make sure your toe is over it.

6:07

Ten toes down? Baby?

6:08

Why? Why would why would you even need

6:10

to include that? But I can respect

6:12

you not being a huge fan. I'm just

6:15

saying I think that.

6:16

But when you say you're not a big like when you say

6:18

you're not like a Kendrick, people are like people want

6:20

quantifiers, Well why, well, what is it?

6:22

And my reason is his

6:25

voice sounds like it's being done

6:27

by Jim Henson. Y'all didn't even play the

6:30

best line of that where Josh talks about

6:32

his hatred for the song knuck if You Buck.

6:34

Oh, that's a literally man, have time to get

6:36

into crime mob.

6:38

Josh, how do you feel about the

6:41

song?

6:42

You know, at at the risk

6:46

of losing the people who I have. I'm

6:49

just gonna say it's not for me.

6:51

I'll tell you what he said.

6:52

He said that nuck if you buck

6:55

sounds like a ged being

6:57

thrown down the hall of a juvenile

7:00

detention center.

7:01

That's that's pretty good.

7:03

I recall something to that effect.

7:06

And of course we have to now you can finally confront

7:08

Roy about the award.

7:10

Oh yeah, yeah, you did betray

7:13

me.

7:14

I'm not here to unpeck off. No,

7:17

I'm here to talk about the YouTube comments.

7:19

I hear you, but you got to acknowledge that how

7:22

did I betray you?

7:23

But I made the award.

7:24

I was going to say first place, and

7:26

you told me to change it the runner up.

7:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because second

7:31

place stings a little more no matter what

7:33

it is, it just stings

7:35

a little.

7:35

And it was a betrayal because you didn't

7:37

have to say anything, you know

7:39

what I mean. That's the first piece of mail I got in this

7:42

building.

7:42

That's why he's always so upset about it.

7:44

The runner up for the If You Buck Yeah,

7:47

yeah.

7:48

For knucking and bucking and being ready to fight.

7:50

And I expect this type of thing from Dual

7:52

Safe.

7:52

But like when she told me that

7:54

you, I was like, not not one

7:56

of my heroes. Just

7:59

imagine, imagine if Babe Ruth

8:02

side your baseball then spit on it and

8:04

threw it in the other direction. I'm

8:09

showing up. It's fresh face. Excited

8:11

to write and work with Roy Wood, Julia. I've been watching

8:14

them for years and everything, and they do tell

8:16

me like, oh, the last part, the part that's the

8:18

worst.

8:19

That was Roy's idea.

8:20

Tell serous, I wanted to know conscious

8:27

rap versus club. Here's here's some of the YouTube

8:30

comments. Number

8:32

one, I would go straight

8:34

for Josh, no joke. We

8:36

should clone them. There needs to be

8:38

more people like him in this. Thank you Sarah,

8:41

Thank you Sarah.

8:42

I appreciate you.

8:45

Right, that's nice

8:47

when you do you engage YouTube comments such

8:50

a broader sentiment.

8:51

N I like having self esteem. Bro, I'm already working

8:53

hard enough.

8:54

I keep it on.

8:55

People talk about Instagram and

8:57

Facebook stuff. I like YouTube

9:00

and I like Reddit because they got

9:02

the time you get a critique

9:04

from somebody on YouTube or Reddit, oh it's

9:06

been thought through social media comments

9:08

are just.

9:09

Yeah, yeah, social

9:11

will be mean for no reason. But

9:14

when YouTube is mean, at

9:16

least in my experience, because I'm

9:18

not surfing the internet as a woman, right,

9:21

so I'm not getting the level of toxicity.

9:23

A lot of the stuff that I get is pretty well earned.

9:26

And I remember I did a Comedy Central

9:28

set years ago and it

9:31

was when I had my afro, right, and it was not

9:33

at its biggest, but at its second biggest.

9:35

So we're talking like pre pandemic afro

9:37

ron Taylor fro and right.

9:40

The first comment, top comment was

9:44

because you know in the thumbnail, I'm smiling

9:46

just like like given, like

9:48

you know, happy days and everything. And

9:51

the first comment was Josh looks

9:54

has shaved as well, and they were like, Josh

9:56

looks like.

9:57

A single mom. Just trying to make it.

10:00

And it was because then when you

10:02

click it, I was wearing like a

10:04

shawl because

10:08

because I don't know what's fashionable. I felt

10:11

I felt swave in it.

10:12

You know. Oh Lord, next

10:15

coment, Thank

10:18

you, Rebecca. Rebecca Johnson says, So

10:20

this is where Josh Johnson went.

10:23

You went in on Lil Wayne, this

10:26

is where you went on this topic. How dare you, Josh?

10:29

Well, As someone who's also from Louisiana,

10:31

I feel like I can,

10:34

you know, and then for

10:37

someone who has ears, I feel like I

10:39

also can. I'm not I'm not speaking

10:41

to his lyrical ability or

10:43

his level of success or his business acumen.

10:46

I am speaking to his voice that I

10:48

can hear, and.

10:49

We all hear it.

10:50

You know what I mean? When he does that little like.

10:54

That, that thing right

10:56

there is drugs.

10:58

I have no problem saying it.

11:00

Death yoh, dump

11:02

a bag boy, a ride yo boy.

11:04

Look it slaps the drugs

11:06

really got a hold of his.

11:08

First time I heard lollipop, I thought aliens

11:10

were landing.

11:11

Yes, yes, exactly.

11:13

We were at Camp record store and it was me and

11:15

my homegirl because we didn't have a job. It was middle of the day,

11:17

God bless and we were just I think

11:19

we're saying out like DJ Monte, you remember,

11:21

like all them oop camps, like DJ Jelly, all of them.

11:24

Boom Camp was a local collective of

11:27

Atlanta music creatives during the early

11:29

Thank You so.

11:30

Much, and they had record stores that you could just

11:32

be there, and so we were sitting

11:34

there minding my business and then Lollipop starts

11:36

playing and it was the first time anybody had like they

11:38

just started to play it, and I think like it

11:41

came on the radio like two days before or something, ain't

11:43

that And it starts playing and me and my homewirl were

11:45

like, bitch aliens

11:48

because they were just something about that, and

11:50

we're like, no, I think this might be and

11:53

I just worked shoddy.

11:54

I like, oh, it's a song, this

11:56

song.

11:57

But when I thought I was sober, it was like three

11:59

pm and I legitimately thought

12:01

the sun was out and me and my homegirl

12:03

with aliens, and I was like, no, it's

12:06

so.

12:07

J Peterson had one that I wanted to get

12:09

your opinion on. They'll say, they said, quote,

12:11

can I just say, Josh is my doppel

12:14

ganger from another color? Now

12:17

we don't know what to hang on. But we don't know what

12:19

color Ja Peterson is.

12:20

He's white. You don't know that he's

12:22

white.

12:22

Other colors there are other colors.

12:24

No person of color would say that, can you They

12:27

just say Josh is just Can I just say Josh

12:29

is my doppelganger?

12:30

Here's my question to you off this comment se has

12:33

nothing to do with conscious rap versus any of the other

12:35

ship. Have you ever met

12:37

your white doppel ganger? No, you

12:41

never met a white woman with a fro.

12:43

I've never met a white woman with my face.

12:49

To Shae, I would love

12:51

to believe that it's Jordan Peterson.

12:56

Peterson, What's

12:59

what's the last one? What's the last one? I think they had one more

13:02

from Levora Battle Levora rights

13:04

love this, but I have to say Brenda's got a baby

13:07

is the reason I'm not a Tupac fan. I would

13:09

literally turn off the radio, damn Levora

13:11

and go play outside when it came on.

13:14

Otherwise totally would dull say I want

13:16

to bop okay, and Tupac had

13:18

a lot of bops, but Tupac every now and then would

13:20

have a hey, y'all, we got to get it together.

13:23

Changes yeah for me?

13:25

Yeah right, yeah,

13:31

I mean, you know, duality one. And

13:33

let you know, first of all, the fact that she was

13:35

turning off Tupac and going to play

13:37

outside.

13:39

Mm hmm.

13:39

But you know how old Miss Levora

13:42

is. Second, nobody

13:44

likes Brenda's Got a Baby. No one enjoyed that

13:46

song. It was so

13:49

sad you could not no.

13:51

One fact that they played it on the radio. Its

13:53

wild didn't

13:55

get played like that back then, No, And then it was

13:58

like it was because it was.

13:59

Part But then

14:01

you play it and be like, ah, play California

14:03

Love, verge.

14:03

It tastes out of my mouth. But

14:05

like I've heard it maybe two times in life.

14:09

It's not that different from Dear Mama in the sense

14:11

that it's about the hardships

14:14

of growing up in the hood and it's

14:16

low key. One of the most pro

14:19

feminist songs Tupac ever did

14:22

was Brenda's Got a Baby.

14:23

I mean California Love was a pro feminist.

14:27

I mean there was some girls in there shaking

14:29

their ass out there in the desert, which

14:31

side by that California Love video not sexy.

14:34

Like even when you talk about beaches, it

14:36

depends on the beach, because stranded is

14:38

not sexy. Yeah, I

14:41

mean, if we're just out somewhere, even no

14:43

matter how nice it is, if we can't get home

14:46

or where we want.

14:47

To get got to find a lagoon or something.

14:49

Sex is not on my mind, you

14:52

know what?

14:53

On this one.

14:54

I'm just like, I

14:57

was like, where could I be stranded and would want to have

15:00

have sex? But it's like we strained

15:02

with somebody coming to get us.

15:04

I think what it is with a song like Brenda's Got

15:06

a Baby. I think the issue with conscious rapp

15:08

is that what are you listening to the music for. Are you listening

15:10

to music for it to emotionally feel

15:13

something or are you listening to music to escape?

15:16

You ain't escaping nothing. If you're listen to the Britain's having

15:18

a baby, they pull us. It's an awful world.

15:20

What I'm saying. That's what some people. It's like the people who like

15:22

who enjoyed the torture porn that it's

15:24

documentaries and true

15:27

crime novel podcast.

15:29

Okay, that's people who like pain. And

15:31

then there's people who just want to watch a ninety

15:33

day fiance.

15:34

Okay, well think about that City High song.

15:37

What would you do if your child got that?

15:39

That's the way that they've been able to.

15:40

Come agree and a little bit of you got to.

15:42

Sleep with a man for a little bit of money, so they

15:45

were able to make it's the only time

15:47

where.

15:48

A truly socially conscious song has

15:50

been a bot, the

15:53

only time. What's a name another

15:55

one?

15:56

Yeah, that's true, and that's City High

15:58

that.

15:58

I think J Cole's middle Child

16:00

was good.

16:01

And that group ended up breaking up because of like

16:04

love and drugs. They had their own drama, so

16:06

to say that they weren't aware of the horrors

16:08

of the things they were singing about. So yeah, you know

16:10

that shit came from the heart. Yeah, all

16:12

right, new topic. Now, this was another

16:15

one that you all got into the

16:17

debate of summer versus winter. I

16:20

am team Winter, just for the

16:22

record.

16:23

The fuck why?

16:26

Because I grew up the same place as U d the

16:28

South, Yes, one hundred

16:30

degrees. Everything I did was outdoors

16:33

my entire childhood. I don't think

16:35

I was even inside until school.

16:37

That's the only time I was in air conditioning in the South,

16:40

and then I grew up playing baseball. So I'm just outdoor

16:43

the heat. You could be buttonneked. It's

16:45

still one hundred degrees, but you can dress

16:47

properly for a ten degree.

16:49

Wind chill drenched, dehydrated

16:52

heat stroke.

16:53

Oh you mama, that wouldn't let you inside.

16:57

I spent every summer in Mississippi out doors from eleven

16:59

am to no.

17:01

Literally no, my mama wanted us to come inside.

17:04

Ah.

17:04

So we lived in Miami too.

17:05

Let's let's that's different.

17:08

So you had a fucking beach. I was outdoors in Clarksdale,

17:10

Mississippi.

17:11

Hey, hey, hey, you think niggas went to the beach

17:13

all the time?

17:14

No? Yo, I know people in Miami has never seen

17:16

the water. Yeah, wow, niggas.

17:19

They would go to the beach with their hair and nails

17:21

done and never get

17:23

in the water.

17:24

Yeah, be like, I can see it.

17:26

Let's go to the clip before we go to the comings.

17:29

Your most fun activities are

17:31

there in the summertime. Oh so you enjoy snowboarding,

17:34

you enjoy the boggaining, you

17:37

enjoy skiing.

17:38

It's not about snowboarding your skiing,

17:40

all right, It's about having like a nice

17:43

nature walk in the winter. If

17:46

I'm in the woods, it's.

17:47

Cold, it's thirty

17:49

degrees outside, go inside.

17:52

What do you mean people

17:55

act like you can't gear up for the winter.

17:58

You could be You could be so comfortable if

18:01

you just gear up for the for the

18:03

temperature in a heat wave that you

18:05

can't take off the skin you can take

18:07

off everything, but you be naked.

18:09

And still hot.

18:10

All right, But in winter you gear

18:12

up enough and you're just comfortable

18:14

until you.

18:15

Go inside somewhere, and then you're sweating

18:17

your life away.

18:18

Because that's the other thing about the wintertime.

18:21

Is that, oh

18:31

okay, all right. The other thing about

18:33

the water time.

18:34

Is it's so hot indoors.

18:37

Let me tell you something. I hate being

18:39

hot. I hate being cold

18:41

outside and I hate being hot

18:44

inside.

18:45

I can't believe that line GotY twice. What

18:48

sweat your life? I

18:50

was actually laughing on beat with my last

18:53

I love I love.

18:54

What Abby Wire said here, though, Josh,

18:56

because I didn't think about what you

18:58

said in that context

19:01

said quote. I never thought Josh might be a serial

19:03

killer until he mentioned nature walks in the winter. Look

19:05

at God, there is some killer shit. I ain't

19:08

say nothing about going on the nature walk in the snow.

19:10

I ain't say I like snow. I just said I prefer I'd

19:12

rather go to war with a windshield

19:14

than heat index.

19:17

Yeah, I enjoy the snow. I

19:19

think the snow is great. I think the place that the

19:21

snow is the best's.

19:22

Because you grew up in little But that's a sub

19:24

winter conversation. That's a conversation about winter

19:27

within winter. What do you like to do during

19:29

winter? I'm just saying if you like to.

19:31

Make snow angels and shit half

19:33

snowball fight?

19:34

Yeah?

19:35

Yeah, Well why are you humming? Like that's

19:37

suspicially?

19:38

You ever had a good time in the snow? Like, did you ever

19:40

go to the snow is fun?

19:41

Yeah?

19:42

Thank you the first two days

19:44

and then it keeps being there.

19:47

Yeah, so it's like so then it's just coverts

19:50

and then it's like it don't stay

19:52

pretty.

19:52

You're talking about city snow though, oh

19:55

country snow. Country snow is great.

19:56

Gatlin Berg? You ever go to Gatlinburg? You ever make that

19:59

trip with the other black felk to do the pajama weekends

20:01

every black history. That's like a Southern thing.

20:04

I wasn't on I wasn't that black.

20:07

Okay, well, I was at a black college.

20:09

So no, I went to no,

20:11

no, no, I went to very white school.

20:12

I have no student loans.

20:15

Next coming, it must be nice.

20:17

I can't relate eighty five thousand dollars

20:19

degree. Baby, these white folks pay for airy thigh. Look

20:21

at God.

20:22

Philip Lorene said, quote, I knew

20:24

it. I saw the topic and I said to myself,

20:26

there's no way she's not a summer

20:28

girl, ah staying out on those

20:31

late summer nights and joining the sunshine

20:33

Sunshine and Beaches, and mister staycation

20:36

is definitely a winter person.

20:37

He listens.

20:38

I love this show, but feel bad for Josh

20:40

sometimes. Damn. See this is what the YouTube comments

20:42

get deep and they start breaking your ass down. I

20:45

love this show, but feel bad

20:47

for Josh. How does he

20:49

ever expect to win an argument against

20:51

this woman?

20:52

Damn easily.

20:56

Could have ended at Sunshine

20:58

and Beaches.

20:59

One hundred percent.

21:00

And and the thing is, okay,

21:02

look he did came look

21:06

bro, because

21:08

you know, this is what happened.

21:10

Though.

21:11

I think over the course of the season, there

21:13

were a lot of there were a lot of things

21:16

that we chose to talk about where

21:19

uh dul Say's opinion as

21:21

well as well as her you know, her points

21:24

appealed to the people in

21:26

a way that Look, I was by myself, I could

21:28

not appeal in the same way.

21:30

Somebody called you a serial killer, bro, I've

21:34

never been called that. I've been called sating.

21:37

Someone ever said I was taking lives repeatedly.

21:39

So later in the season, you'll see

21:41

where I start to pick up some steam.

21:43

All right, I.

21:44

Called you Dexter Morgan from Miami

21:46

PD.

21:47

This is why I'm really just trying

21:50

to, you know, stick to the overall topic,

21:52

like stay on the show.

21:55

The grind MLG.

21:57

Yes, I was for somebody to bring us up.

22:00

In The grind is officially

22:02

a running gag in these debates, and we'll never get

22:04

tired of it because I'm dying from the absolute

22:07

creative improv going on there.

22:10

If summer is about a lot of payoff, you

22:12

know, you're out in the world, You're getting to see

22:14

your friends, go on vacation stuff like that.

22:16

The winter, the wintertime is

22:19

about the grind, all right. It's about

22:21

staying home. It's

22:26

about staying home. It's about no

22:28

days off, it's about doing. It's

22:30

about doing what the other people don't see

22:32

because you're inside grinding.

22:34

Okay, now that's

22:36

true. That's very true. Thank

22:38

you.

22:38

Oh like a grasshopper in an ant situation.

22:40

Yeah, the winter is where you like work.

22:43

Summers where you show off the work. Summers

22:46

also where you recruit the friends you'll need during

22:48

the winter. Yeah, yeah, it do be too

22:50

cold to make friends.

22:51

I can't tell you, as a big bitch, as

22:55

much as I love summer summers when I have to take a knee

22:59

because wintertime is a big bitch

23:01

gig cuffing season, big

23:04

bitch gig.

23:06

Oh, so you gotta put in work. You got dudes trying

23:08

to holland all that.

23:09

My ex would act right from

23:12

labor day to Saint Patrick's

23:14

day. And once the weather

23:16

started to change, once a little bit of pollen.

23:18

That first pollen sneeze,

23:21

you know, he gone, Nigga's gone by.

23:25

It's been good.

23:25

Yeah, And all of a sudden he an't answering the phone. But

23:28

December, December.

23:32

Out, Wait, what is

23:34

this? Explain this to me from East Schwartz

23:37

quote the minute dude say said New York is

23:39

hot. Wrong. I knew what she was

23:41

talking about.

23:42

I love sitting outdoors. But also I

23:45

know that New York is hot.

23:47

Wrong.

23:50

What do you mean it's building

23:52

hot?

23:53

It's not nature hot.

23:55

Oh that's a good point.

23:56

Oh somebody else likes nature.

23:57

Oh it's the concrete, it's that and

24:00

cret heat and.

24:05

Was an apple apple.

24:06

Also we're on camera. I can't disrespect the man like that.

24:08

We won the ward.

24:10

Yeah, you're you're right. Also, I think also

24:12

with New York, it's it's an issue of

24:14

the heat odor, it's the garbage juice.

24:16

In the But it's truly, it's truly the

24:19

fact.

24:19

That, yeah, cement heat is different,

24:22

You're not different.

24:23

I remember as a kid because also

24:25

one of my dreams was to be on David Letterman, and

24:28

when he canceled his show, I was like, I'm almost

24:30

there. But anyway,

24:32

I remember watching David Letterman and him

24:35

literally frying an egg because

24:37

I always say it's a hot to fried egg, it's a

24:39

hot to fried egg on the sidewalk, and I

24:42

remember him going outside. And that's

24:44

when I found out that Late Night shows a film during

24:46

the day, because people ask you about

24:48

Daily Show and they'll be like, oh man, you tape

24:50

so late at night.

24:51

And I was like what, Oh,

24:54

yeah, you know that's a background behind them,

24:56

right.

24:58

Window, that's where. So

25:00

when I saw him actually cook.

25:03

A pre chicken on

25:05

a sidewalk, I was like oh,

25:07

and I was like I was like sixteen.

25:08

I was like, this place is a nightmare.

25:10

Because if the ground is hot enough for you to

25:12

cook food, I ain't never

25:14

seen nobody cook. I've seen the heat waves

25:16

come off. I've never seen anybody try

25:18

to cook food on the ground in

25:20

Georgia and they and listen. I know they know it's hot

25:22

wrong because the coper. Years ago, I was supposed

25:24

to do Ozzie Fest and they canceled

25:26

it because they said it was too hot

25:30

and it was gonna be ninety two degrees outside. I

25:32

called my mother, thank

25:34

you, thank you. I called my mother because

25:37

she asked me about it. She said, you're not doing the Ozzie Fast

25:39

thing that you was gonna do. I said, Mama, they canceled

25:41

it. She said why. I said, mama's

25:43

a heat wave and she said how is it gonna be? I

25:45

said ninety two degrees. My mama laughed for fifteen

25:48

minutes.

25:49

Mighty growl. One night, it was ninety eight in New Orleans

25:52

at.

25:52

Night at night, I've seen or it was in the

25:54

nineties in Georgia at two am.

26:01

Now I'm looking at some of these YouTube comments

26:05

and I think that there needs to

26:07

be a second podcast where we just

26:09

allow people to give

26:11

Josh a hug. Like it's not even an

26:13

audible podcast. It's just video

26:15

of you receiving hugs so that people

26:17

know you gotta hug.

26:18

Listen.

26:19

I'm just telling you what the streets are saying.

26:20

This is okay, what's this comment?

26:23

Karen? Her name does thank you, Karin, thank

26:25

you for another great episode. They'll say is

26:27

a great comedian. I don't think joshuaever

26:30

win a debate against will say josh is a gentleman.

26:32

I like the tone of his voice and his smile.

26:35

I vote for Summer Yo.

26:37

People have been talking to josh like your voice is a panty

26:39

dropper dog.

26:40

But this is what happened.

26:41

But this is what you're abusing the shit out of it.

26:44

Hey, hey, hey, ain't nobody abusing nothing?

26:46

All right?

26:46

I make valid and salient

26:49

points.

26:49

It is not my fault that pretty

26:52

voice over here, Luther Vandroffs can't

26:54

keep the fuck up.

26:55

This is the I will say in

26:57

this scenario,

26:59

to to convey

27:01

that you're not abused of the

27:03

ship. I someone you might want to just have the

27:05

tone even so. That way it's

27:07

it's more believable. I know I'm not

27:09

being abused, but now I sound abused.

27:12

A behalf of the tone you took

27:14

just now where you were like a It's like it.

27:16

Wasn't an aia.

27:18

You know you could just be like, no one's abusing,

27:20

are you me? I'm maybe

27:22

maybe a little bit. Just try to help, just

27:24

try to throw it out there.

27:25

So wait, so since people, oh god,

27:29

not even a microphone thought you was lying, y'all,

27:32

let's go to the next comment because apparently I

27:34

am abusive. You know what, This

27:36

is racist, This is racist, this

27:39

is sexist. I will not be

27:41

as a black I am. I have

27:43

won multiple NAACP awards.

27:46

I have been very black. Okay, I

27:48

am a cpu

27:50

a na

27:54

I never even heard of it, Uncle Rick,

27:56

I've never even heard of it.

27:58

Black people always be going to gatlin Burg. That's

28:00

what they do down South. We go hang out at white stuff and

28:02

pretend to be white for three days. If you come back home to

28:05

racism.

28:05

No you Alabama negroes go

28:07

up to Gatlinburg. We have an actual black city.

28:11

I grew up in Atlanta. We just do shit in the

28:13

city.

28:14

We have pajama jams in the.

28:15

City, Vanilla versus chock.

28:17

Yeah, that's what I thought.

28:19

It's the next debate.

28:23

I don't know a man, I've been a Dollywood. It's

28:25

all right, that's right around

28:27

the corner from the shit.

28:28

I do know what I'm talking about we only.

28:30

Went to Dollywood because I got him for free because I worked the Star Mountain

28:32

Park.

28:35

Vanilla versus Chocolate was the next debate

28:37

that you two had this season.

28:39

Vanilla knows who Vanilla is,

28:41

and Vanilla's like, listen, I'm flavoring

28:44

things. Okay, Chocolate is heavy.

28:47

Okay, it's gonna sit on the tongue for

28:49

Vanilla. On the other hand, Hey baby, I'm a

28:51

bean and you put me in shit. Okay, they're

28:54

fish, I'm doing cakes, I'm

28:56

doing creams. There's way less

28:58

processing when you're dealing with Vanilla. Chocolate

29:00

came in to be heavy. Chocolate came

29:02

in to step on your feet and be like,

29:04

hey, what's going on?

29:06

What's doing?

29:07

Ain't nobody sitting up getting caught with Vanilla

29:10

all on their face. It's not happening. Vanilla

29:12

has better pressed because Vanilla's a more refined

29:14

situation. Vanilla's like, out here

29:18

in your whole Halloween, that's

29:20

what Vanilla's doing. Vanilla is a classy

29:22

bitch, all right. Villa like,

29:24

hey, yeah,

29:27

Vanilla can't be in everything.

29:29

Okay, you got triple.

29:31

Chocolate cakes, you got chocolate on chocolate on

29:33

chate on chocolate, vanilla comes in

29:36

boom, that's the flavor. There's vanilla and

29:38

then there's a little vanilla bean. Chocolate,

29:40

on the other hand, is letting you know it is stepped

29:42

on like a motherfucker.

29:44

Chocolate, for sure, is

29:47

trying to be a start. Chocolate is

29:49

like what macaroni and cheese

29:51

is turned into?

29:52

MM entre No

29:56

your side?

29:57

What if I got lobster?

29:59

What if I got what if

30:01

I got bread crum? You're

30:05

a side.

30:06

Let's be clear about something. Chocolate

30:10

is holding all this ship together. Okay,

30:17

I'm tired of the disrespect. Actually

30:19

I told Roy up top what was gonna happen. I

30:21

told him how the season went. All right, you

30:24

got ahead of me. I'm not gonna

30:26

lie. You got ahead of me a few times

30:28

across the season, but then I caught up.

30:31

You know, I feel like we landed pretty evenly.

30:33

Doctor Braxy chimed

30:36

in on this debate.

30:37

You MD.

30:39

Maybe could be one of them fake.

30:41

Doctors, like, hey

30:44

man, you can get a doctorate in math

30:47

history.

30:49

The way they typed is coming. They clearly have a

30:51

doctorate in chocolate, he said. Deilsey

30:54

said, stop the video and answer who I think will

30:56

pick what I'm going to say, Josh

30:58

will go for chocolate because reasons.

31:03

Not a doctor, Because if they had a doctor, they'd

31:06

have made a dissertation.

31:08

For vanilla because it can be mixed with everything,

31:10

whereas there are some ad ins that don't

31:13

blend well with chocolate. So doctor

31:15

Braxy got it right.

31:16

Wow in psychology,

31:19

uh, doctor of the future.

31:21

For Reed, Freed chimed

31:23

in, this is the first time watching

31:25

the podcast on YouTube. I normally listen to

31:27

the podcast. Is it just me

31:30

who thought Josh was white? I

31:33

pictured him to be a white guy with glasses

31:35

for some reason? What the fuck does this have to

31:37

do with vanilla or chocolate? For Reed,

31:40

why are you in the comments? Oh?

31:42

But why did we pick this comment to talk about?

31:45

But maybe for Reid thought there was a vanilla versus

31:47

chocolate on Josh's race. Maybe

31:49

that's what he thought it was.

31:51

We were just trying to do a night way to do white versus

31:53

black.

31:55

Listen to the podcast. For Reid, mofucker has

31:57

a picture of Josh. Adn't God, damn, I can't

31:59

even podcast up. Wow.

32:04

Watching these two is like watching a pair of siblings

32:06

arguing over the wildest things. That's literally

32:08

what created this podcast, You're too yelling in

32:10

the hallway in Josh's

32:12

office, which we could hear

32:15

listen.

32:16

I knew we were having a good conversation when everybody and

32:18

the writers would close their doors.

32:21

Yes, because they were trying to make a fucking TV show.

32:24

No, I was arguing about spaghetti

32:26

versus.

32:27

We would only do it was after rewrite.

32:29

It was after rewright.

32:30

Oh yeah, was getting it on at like

32:32

eleven o'clock in the morning.

32:33

We was working.

32:34

No, No, we really do do our jobs.

32:36

Yeah, and then and then so

32:39

when there's that space between okay, rewrites over,

32:41

we gotta tape the show that one

32:43

whatever our period, Yeah, that's.

32:45

When we'd be talking.

32:46

So they were just closing their doors and be disrespectful because

32:49

if they wanted, if they wanted to be, you know, not anti

32:51

black, they would have joined it in a conversation and learn

32:53

something.

32:54

Leave your door open, learn something about your colleagues.

32:56

My favorite day was so

32:58

I used to have an office with Randall,

33:02

Devin, and I and there was

33:04

one day where, over the course

33:06

of an hour and a half, every time

33:09

Devin left and came back, there

33:11

was another black person in

33:13

the.

33:14

Office, to the point where there really was too

33:16

many of us.

33:16

There was nowhere to sit.

33:17

At a certain point, I'm pretty sure Jabouki

33:20

was sitting on a bookcase shelf.

33:22

He was sitting on those rolling u Yeah.

33:25

Remember we had like.

33:25

The rolling cabinet, put a little.

33:27

Seat on top, and then somebody was just

33:29

and then I think at one point like he

33:31

was sitting on that. I think Randa was just sitting on his desk.

33:34

Yeah, it was just he was like everything.

33:36

It almost felt like.

33:37

Imagine everybody was in there, everybody,

33:39

Ashton.

33:40

Everybody, Sierra Hunter, Lewis.

33:42

I have to say, you do warm my heart

33:44

with the program that you give us. I suffer a lot of

33:46

physical pain and when I

33:49

say dul Say's laugh brings me joy.

33:52

I just love seeing someone love

33:54

life like me. Many blessings

33:57

to you both. That was a nice shout

33:59

out.

33:59

To Sierra Hu to Lewis.

34:00

It's crazy that we got this comment

34:03

and then before that coming

34:05

at Josh's whole ancestry.

34:09

I don't see what you have to do with each other.

34:12

That's what I'm saying. That's how

34:14

wild people be commenting.

34:16

Yeah, but that's the thing about YouTube, is that

34:18

YouTube is that you have one person that's reflecting

34:20

on the topic and going, I am a doctor of

34:22

vanilla and chocolate medicine. And

34:25

then the next comment is just, hey, I'm

34:27

in pain over here. I'm hurting. I just love that,

34:29

y'all laughing yes, And then the next

34:31

comment will just be like negroes

34:38

Sarah phoebe right. I feel

34:40

like I'm going to be wrong. But Josh likes

34:42

pancakes over waffles. He's definitely

34:45

a vanilla person, which.

34:46

Means that this person actually stopped.

34:49

Yeah, that means they really did.

34:50

They really did stop and

34:53

guessed.

34:54

But that's why I want But that's why I did

34:56

it, because it's like, I think that it

35:00

if there's a debate. I think if you pick

35:02

a side early, and I think it

35:04

makes people more engaged because then it's like,

35:06

oh, well I picked chocolate. One,

35:09

let's see which one of them picks my side, and

35:11

then two, let's see how they defend

35:13

it.

35:14

Speaking of waffles, let's look back on

35:16

another conversation the two of you had about

35:18

diners versus waffle houses. Now,

35:22

do you already know where I stand on a diner versus

35:24

a waffle house? I don't rock with

35:26

no diner. But here's what the two of you

35:28

had to say.

35:30

Let me kick it to you. Why I think the

35:32

diners are just far superior.

35:34

Because bougie go ahead, because

35:37

I'm boogie.

35:37

Okay, Look, all I'm saying is.

35:41

When someone tells me that they're about to give

35:43

me steak, I just wanted

35:45

to be steak. You know, when I get

35:47

steak at a diner, I know that that's steak.

35:50

Why I get steak at a waffle house that's

35:52

burger. That's just burger.

35:55

No waffle house one has steaks

35:57

too. Why

36:00

are you ordering a steak at

36:02

a diner or a waffle house

36:04

in the first place. You have set

36:07

yourself up for failure. This is why this

36:09

is my issue with That's on you.

36:11

You wanted a high quality steak from

36:13

somewhere whose menu is thick

36:16

like an encyclopedia. You mean

36:18

to tell me that

36:20

you have a

36:22

turkey dinner, a lobster

36:26

florentine or whatever, but also

36:28

disco fries. What the fuck is happening

36:30

in here?

36:30

I'll tell you right now. What you think is the

36:32

beast, I think is the beauty. All right, So

36:35

when I see that chapter book laid out in front

36:37

of me, I'm like, wow, I.

36:38

Really have options in life. I could.

36:40

I could try something and get something

36:42

that I already like as a backup. So am

36:44

I gonna get, you know, a

36:47

pasta with a

36:49

burger? Maybe I'm crazy

36:52

like that. I can get wild like that because

36:57

I could get wild like that because I'm a diner

36:59

right now. I'm not limited to the

37:01

to the.

37:02

You're gonna get a grilled cheese cheese.

37:05

You're gonna get a grill cheese and a chicken alfredo,

37:07

you fucking child.

37:09

I'm gonna get a grilled

37:11

cheese. I'm gonna get spaghetti. I'm

37:14

gonna go ahead and no

37:20

grilled cheese. I'll get spaghetti. And

37:23

you know what, you know what, just the top it all, just because

37:25

I care. Because this is what options in

37:27

life do for you. You know, because when you

37:29

go to a diner, you're your own little

37:31

Elon Musk, your own little Jeff Bezos.

37:33

They're going to space.

37:34

I'm out here having orange juice, chocolate

37:39

milk.

37:41

With a mon of crystal sandwich.

37:42

About a crystal.

37:45

Sandwich over for your

37:47

stomach. Over.

37:50

This is how you train your stomach.

37:52

I gotta yeah,

37:54

I gotta say it, swell house all day.

37:56

For a lot of reasons, all day, every day.

37:59

Get your life together.

38:00

Rebecca Wilhelm quote,

38:02

I feel like do Say and Josh need to take a road

38:05

trip together in order for each other

38:08

at waffle House and diners love this guy.

38:10

That that's wild. That

38:13

that's yeah, you.

38:14

Two on the road would be good. It's like some

38:17

like I don't like the word, I don't like

38:20

the Boordain comparison, but I think it's some Stanley

38:22

Tucci find in Italy. But y'all

38:24

just like still get it.

38:28

Okay, Now that was a left turn. I didn't know that

38:30

we needed to take full Fitch

38:32

coming.

38:33

You need to know, y'all

38:36

try to.

38:37

Stanley Tucci if you're listen in the Daily Show. Offices

38:40

are located at the

38:41

corner. Lindsey

38:46

says quote, I'm a Louisiana girl, Team

38:48

waffle House. Love you, Josh, but I'm with d waffle

38:51

House for the wind. I like to watch my food being

38:53

fixed. The hurricane

38:55

shut down the whole city down for weeks. Waffle

38:57

House was still open and were

39:00

able to eat and charge our

39:02

gadgets all star breakfast scrambled

39:04

eggs, bacon grits with cheese, toast, and a pecan

39:06

waffle.

39:07

Let me tell you something.

39:09

We've talked about the waffle

39:11

house index, and the fact

39:13

that the government uses

39:16

a waffle house to figure

39:19

out how dangerous and what's

39:21

going on in a city when a hurricane,

39:23

when the Lord himself has spun

39:25

through your city and made everything so fucking

39:28

way, How dare

39:30

you? How dare you?

39:31

You know it?

39:31

Josh?

39:32

This lets me know that you don't.

39:34

You don't. You don't support convicted

39:36

felons. That's what that means, because nobody

39:38

supports someone. No one keeps

39:40

recidivism down better than a waffle.

39:42

Here's the here's the thing with diners that I think

39:45

your face that I can't appreciate that

39:47

that I think Josh is also gravitating towards

39:50

It's a more communal experience.

39:52

And this is having worked at a Shawnees work

39:55

I lovees. Ain't none but

39:58

a diner. Low key. It's just so,

40:00

I'm just saying. It was marketed as a family restaurant,

40:02

but it's straight up Denny's vibes.

40:05

It's straight up the dinerob

40:07

yet marketing they market themselves

40:10

as a diner. It's high end. Yeah,

40:12

it's a high end diner. Danny's

40:15

is a donner the seats is uncomfortable, so it makes

40:17

you think it's not a diner.

40:18

But because I've been all these

40:20

diners here and I can tell you I'm very unimpressed.

40:23

The songwriting cat. Why is there

40:26

so much attacking Josh in this in

40:28

these comments? When YouTube? I feel like Josh

40:30

lost when he was describing his diner

40:32

order and I remembered how many times

40:34

he's admitted to having food poison it.

40:36

People really listen to this podcast.

40:41

Yeah, yeah, I mean the it was on

40:43

my other podcast, so yeah, I

40:45

think that's a crossover. Yeah, yeah,

40:48

it's a fan. Yeah,

40:50

it's it's been quite a few it's been

40:52

It's been a lot, you know, because I'll get

40:54

it venturous.

40:56

Listen. I saw you fight a piece of fish in Miami.

40:59

So I just think diners,

41:01

it just it all is what it is. You're not

41:03

going for any real experience.

41:05

All I'm saying is that I know diner

41:08

food can't be fresh because there's too much stuff

41:10

on the menu.

41:12

It's too many options.

41:13

It's too many options. Like I said, you cannot

41:15

have a full turkey,

41:17

so stuffing, cranberry,

41:20

sauce, gravy, all

41:22

the so you have a turkey dinner in fixings.

41:24

It's July.

41:26

Yeah, you just got dressing in the

41:28

cut like that, because I know y'all ain't make this dressing

41:31

fresh today.

41:32

I mean, maybe y'all need to open

41:34

your mind. Okay, maybe y'all

41:37

need to hope for something bigger.

41:40

Listen, all right, and you eat that, you

41:42

eat some dressing in July, it's gonna open your ass.

41:45

Look, your stomach is closed your business

41:47

on a regular basis, so I can't even.

41:52

I eat at waffle house, says hey Jack. When

41:54

I like to have my food, I like

41:56

it with a side of danger.

41:58

Now, listen, Have I been to a waffle

42:00

house and seen a fight?

42:02

Yes?

42:03

Have I also seen a fight in a bar? Yes?

42:06

Have I also seen a fight in a Bennegan's.

42:08

Absolutely yeah. I think house

42:10

gets a bad rap on them.

42:11

They act like they're the only restaurant that has

42:14

wait, wait, wait, a bad rap.

42:16

Though.

42:16

Have you ever been to a sports lounge? I've

42:18

been burger king fight, burger

42:20

King fight. Finny

42:23

results as waffle house.

42:25

So it goes to me.

42:27

It goes from searching the internet as someone

42:29

who loves fights.

42:31

I love fights.

42:32

Watch the fights every weekend, Watch

42:36

the fights in the middle of the week, and I'll watch the waffle

42:38

House fights, burg King fights. It goes

42:41

uh McDonald's because they

42:43

have the most locations. Burger

42:45

King because they have some

42:47

of the angers employees, and

42:49

also the customers at Burger King really

42:53

are a little bit trained. Like

42:55

like when when the fight kicks off at Burger King,

42:57

there's leg kicks thrown, there's like

42:59

a tempts at chokes and stuff.

43:01

Waffle House like a judge, let's

43:04

go to the car waffle House.

43:07

Waffle House feels like it has more

43:10

of a of a

43:12

street fighter vibe. Yeah, because you'll

43:14

see little Haduken's thrown. You'll

43:17

you'll see like jumps, You'll see

43:19

moves that don't make any sense.

43:20

The waitress who caught the chair.

43:22

That the waitress, let me tell you something.

43:24

Yeah, that girl had been through some ship.

43:26

Yeah.

43:27

The way that girl, the way that white girl caught

43:29

that chair, I.

43:30

Was like, is she at the house.

43:32

Somebody flung the chair the white house waitress

43:34

from at least ten feet away and she caught

43:36

it by the leg, caught.

43:37

It by the leg mid air, and

43:42

then threw it back.

43:44

The way throws.

43:46

Let me tell you something.

43:48

Somebody hired that girl, her

43:50

skills are wasted.

43:51

Here's when I need some explaining because I

43:54

didn't listen to this episode. Uh

43:56

ne Oren wrote, Josh, you

43:58

nasty for that one. I'm not dipping

44:01

my spanacopa, spana

44:03

copea and anything except them to zeke.

44:05

So spanic copela is a Greek dish,

44:09

so basically, think of it's

44:11

a it's a pastry, so think

44:13

of like, uh, it's layered, so

44:15

it's like like filo dough, yeah, so feli

44:18

dough and then it's uh spinach and cream

44:20

cheese. No spinach and feta cheese, and

44:22

it's in layered and then it's all encased and

44:24

like a uh it's

44:26

all it's like a triangle shape sometimes or it is more

44:28

like a pie. Yeah, so it's like put you in the mind on

44:30

like a lasagna.

44:31

Pie is like a lasagna. The little triangles

44:33

are like little impanadas.

44:35

Yeah, Okay, it's like a trianglepinada with like

44:37

spinach and feta cheese inside and this layered up.

44:40

Okay, there's a thousand things

44:42

on your menu, so it's like, oh, there's

44:44

spana, copeta and

44:46

chili.

44:47

What the hell is going on in here?

44:49

So Jack of All Trade but

44:52

yeah, I

44:54

cannot wait. I cannot wait.

44:57

So people hear you say dip

45:00

the span of copaa in

45:02

the chili.

45:03

You are a wild man. I love you,

45:06

but that was a phrase. That

45:08

was a wild phrase, dip the span

45:10

of copa and the chili. Oh, the Lord can't

45:12

bless you living like that.

45:14

I know people are gonna lose their mind.

45:18

The only thing you're supposed to dip in chili is

45:20

is grilled cheese or crackers.

45:22

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

45:24

You can dip grilled cheese into

45:26

the chili. Yes, I'm

45:29

just never done it.

45:30

I don't know.

45:30

I was always crackers for me.

45:32

Yeah, I mean either or. But that's

45:34

I mean, dipp the grilled cheese and the tomato soup.

45:36

I know people do.

45:37

Yeah, yeah, I've done that bespanac.

45:40

Yeah. Also oyster

45:42

crackers. Are they on oysters

45:44

or is it because they're.

45:46

I think they're built like oyster. Yeah,

45:49

it's like a.

45:50

It's like puffed out in the middle.

45:51

Here's a here's a Here's one thing I will say in defense

45:53

of a diner though, like I do appreciate

45:56

the fact that you

45:59

can have more multiple options

46:01

if you don't know what you want. So like

46:03

when you're drunk. We went

46:05

one night myself. I can

46:08

say this publicly. We've talked about it in the past, myself

46:11

and a bunch of the Impractical Jokers. This is

46:13

a pre daily show and for

46:15

whatever reason, I was always end up at a comedy

46:17

festival and would hang with them.

46:19

I love Sal.

46:20

So it's me Sal Jogatto

46:23

and Murph Q is the responsible

46:25

one of the four because he's a firefighter.

46:28

A squareheaded one with the going Yeah.

46:30

He's very much well, let's

46:32

do what's right. We were drunk

46:34

at a Denny's in Phoenix, and when I

46:36

tell you, we ordered everything. We

46:39

had breakfast, we had a steak,

46:41

we had a salad, we had a Moon's over

46:43

Miami, Wounds over my Hammi, at

46:46

at least fifteen different things, and we just

46:48

sampled from all of them. And you can't do that

46:50

at a waffle house. You

46:53

can't. Like, waffle house is

46:55

very much a lockey in on one thing type of

46:57

thing. So when

46:59

you're drunk, your palette expands

47:01

and you kind of want chocolate cake, but you kind

47:03

of want some Spana copad, but you

47:05

kind of want some chili.

47:07

You kind of want some adventure.

47:08

Yeah, you go fuck it. What would it taste like if I dip this

47:10

shit to chili.

47:13

Off House has chili, but White House.

47:14

Don't have spanic copa. Wafe House ain't got

47:16

turkey and dressing. What do you want? Chocolate cake and turkey and

47:19

dressing?

47:19

You want to throw up because you're drunk, Maybe

47:23

fucking irresponsible.

47:24

Maybe you just like options.

47:26

Maybe you just like gas your bypass because

47:28

you're going to bypass all your gastric all brow

47:31

the fuck up.

47:31

Last point I'll say about it, since everybody

47:34

jumping on me like I'm crazy for liking diners

47:36

a little bit more than I like waffle house,

47:39

is that diners are

47:41

the right type of

47:44

concession for everybody that you're hanging

47:46

out with, because then when you show up,

47:48

somebody can get the breakfast food they want, somebody

47:51

can get the spaghetti that they want.

47:52

You like the all lives matter of restaurants.

47:54

Why would you do that?

48:03

You know? What's interesting about about you, too, is

48:05

that you will force people

48:08

to think about things they've never thought about

48:12

at a depth that they've never had

48:14

to analyze it, and then actually have

48:16

an opinion. Chicken

48:18

soup versus tomato soup, of

48:21

which I am team chicken soup

48:23

because there are enough varieties

48:25

of chicken. There's ways to augment and

48:27

freestyle chicken

48:30

soup. You can add noodles, you can add

48:32

extra meat, you can change the viscosity

48:34

tomato state tomato. Let's

48:37

just see what you do have to say.

48:38

If if we're really bringing chicken noodle soup

48:41

up against tomato soup.

48:42

That counts everything.

48:46

I manas

48:48

wait wait wait.

48:49

Wait wait wait, you're saying

48:52

any liquidato.

48:54

Is tomato soup.

48:55

All right, like sasa,

48:58

you're counting salsa.

49:00

As tomato soup.

49:01

Let's do it.

49:02

Okay, So any tomato based

49:05

anything.

49:07

Tomato soup, ketchup,

49:09

tomato soup, cocktail sauce, tomato

49:12

soupt, tomato soup, the

49:16

spot choat tomato soup.

49:18

Pray go ragu tomato

49:22

soup, marinaira sauce is tomato

49:24

soup, tomato soup. So

49:27

you're saying tomato paste is tomato

49:30

soup. So if someone opens a can

49:33

of ragou, yeah, pasta.

49:35

Sauce, okay, throws it in a

49:37

bowl, yeah, heats it up.

49:40

HM tomato soup, tomato soup,

49:43

soap.

49:45

I am saying because I

49:47

feel like I feel like in

49:50

the last episode with the diners

49:53

versus the waffle house what ended up happening

49:55

because I gotta eat the live by the way,

49:59

Yeah, which is why now, hey,

50:01

everything is tomato soup. We're going all

50:03

tomato soup. Okay, I will not

50:06

lose again.

50:09

And you flew too close to the sun icorous

50:12

your wings melts it, you understand

50:15

them. Feathers fell from the sky like a

50:17

goose that got hit by a plane.

50:19

I think that's that's the thing that But that's a fair point

50:21

that Josh brings up tomato soup

50:23

and a base in the viscosity

50:26

or whatever. Right, but once you add

50:28

onions and carrot.

50:31

Have you tried to make tomato souper home.

50:33

I've tried to make it.

50:34

You can't get it smooth.

50:36

I don't know what they doing over at Campbell's,

50:39

but it's always

50:41

blending.

50:42

But no, I got an emerging blender. I

50:44

have disposable income.

50:46

I was like, I'm gonna figure this out,

50:48

and I think you have to strain it. But then you

50:50

lose so much. I was

50:52

like, oh, there was.

50:53

The vegetable there.

50:54

Yeah, yeah, but you can throw something back in.

50:56

But that's interesting though, that everything that

50:58

you use to augment chicken chicken

51:01

soup. If you put that in tomato soup,

51:03

now it's a sauce that must

51:05

be served with something else.

51:08

Oh so put onions

51:12

and chicken soup. It tastes better. If you put

51:14

onions in tomato soup. It's sauce.

51:16

I'm saying that chicken noodle

51:18

soup chicken soup has an advantage because

51:20

no matter what you put in it, it's still seen societally.

51:23

It's still perceived as soup. If

51:25

you augment tomato soup with anything

51:28

else, it's seen as a sauce

51:30

that must be served on top of oil.

51:32

I think it's just a texture, because if you got

51:34

a pasta that had a sauce

51:36

is loose as tomato soup, you'd

51:38

be like, oh, I've been conned, and I'm obviously at a

51:40

diner.

51:41

Or you're in a public school, okay.

51:43

Or you're in a public school okay.

51:45

So I feel like was actually happening

51:48

is that Roy is the first person to truly

51:50

see what I was saying. When I was saying it,

51:52

all right, everyone was acting like I was crazy.

51:55

No all right, no, no no, But Roy

51:57

didn't say catch up was

52:00

tomato soup. He just said

52:02

if you add real like vegetables,

52:05

because like there's a rustic there's more rustic types

52:08

of tomato soup now where if

52:10

you keep messing with it, it's gonna be marin

52:12

aero sauce.

52:13

I was right, it's a little thicker and lumpier, but it's

52:15

still just tomatoes. I was

52:17

here.

52:18

I also heard what Roy said. What Roy

52:20

said, because that's the thing. If you take chicken

52:22

soup, if you took chicken

52:24

soup and putting noodles in it, it is chicken

52:26

noodle soup. It stays soup. If you put

52:29

noodles in tomato soup, it's

52:31

pasta. Which somehow the pasta

52:33

takes precedent.

52:36

Yeah, now exactly, the soup is diminished

52:39

because.

52:41

Because when I said.

52:42

That, that's why you say tomato soup is better, because

52:45

it can't be. Could you put one thing in it and it becomes

52:47

something else?

52:47

No, No, I'm not even talking about soup

52:50

another ingredients.

52:51

Pre but you're saying it loses the title

52:53

of soup when it becomes something else. You're

52:56

saying that no matter what it is, it's always gonna

52:58

be soup. So he's not agreeing with you at all.

53:00

No, I am, I'm agreeing. I'm agreeing with him

53:02

on the grounds there.

53:03

So then but if we're growing up, so if

53:05

everything is tomato.

53:06

Soup ketchup, of course he's a lunatic.

53:08

But pray

53:12

go, pray go. But that rustic

53:15

tomato soup you talking about.

53:16

I'm not no.

53:17

Listen, this is to say.

53:19

I didn't say that Marin

53:21

Anasaurce was at tomato soup. I'm

53:23

saying that what if Tasha b

53:25

said Josh was a self sabotage

53:28

and tyrant on this one?

53:31

That is wild because you threw in

53:33

ketchup and all the other No,

53:35

no, no, you threw in ketchup and I couldn't back

53:38

down.

53:38

All right, that's

53:40

what happened. Yet,

53:43

don't put words in my mouth.

53:45

Wait, I still can't believe. So

53:48

Christopher Smith got on our Gore's

53:50

Internet instaid. I still

53:52

can't believe Josh said this. My

53:55

entire church prayed for you. Your name

53:57

is still on a weekly prayer list. I even

53:59

thought about calling intercessors. I'm

54:02

gonna tell you what's for to happen right now. I

54:05

am taking a.

54:06

Picture that is a

54:08

deep cut.

54:09

Babe. If you don't you have to not

54:11

only do you have to go to church, you have to go to

54:13

southern church, because I don't know if Yankees

54:16

have intercessory prayer. Somebody

54:19

is waking up on at six

54:21

am to pray for you.

54:22

Josh and I appreciate it,

54:24

all right, but we we've already

54:27

established what happened. I

54:29

wasn't running around the streets of New

54:31

York saying that ketchup is tomato.

54:33

Soup like the British were covering.

54:35

My back was against the wall.

54:37

Your back would have plenty of space.

54:38

And I and I had to fight back, and

54:40

so we ended up with a little bit of like.

54:42

No, no, no, no no.

54:43

I was testing how far you would go if you

54:45

said anything tomato base. Yeah,

54:48

because I said ketchup. You could have said no. You

54:51

could have said a ketchup.

54:52

But then you said to trip him up. No no,

54:54

no, no no no no.

54:56

You could said ketch up. Now

54:58

you can say ketchup. Ketchup

55:00

is too far, and I'd have gone, you're right, and

55:02

thank you for coming back.

55:04

You coming back?

55:05

Okay, You wiley coyote

55:08

jumped off a clip.

55:09

And that's why politics is so divided, because

55:11

you can't be a moderate you can't be a ketchup moderate

55:13

you have to be fully entrenched in camp ketchup,

55:16

even to the point of sounding ridiculous.

55:18

What about purple ketchup? Is that so tomato soup?

55:20

That's just food coloring. So it's

55:23

the same as before purple ketchup?

55:25

Yeah, why don't they Why do they don't? Don't they

55:27

make ketchup from green tomatoes?

55:29

I don't think it has the right sugar content.

55:31

Oh yeah, that's fair, Yeah, a little bit of it.

55:33

They're very sour.

55:34

Oh here's our d. I like this one

55:36

from r D. Making the claim that all

55:39

liquids with tomato are tomato

55:41

soup is a very special level

55:43

of insanity. Thank you, r D.

55:46

A lot of quotes in here.

55:47

Yeah, I agree with that. I agree with that

55:51

it can't be all liquids, But I understand what

55:53

Josh's saying. Don't say no, no, no.

55:54

What I want to know is, were you saying

55:57

these things to try

55:59

to win? Are were you saying

56:01

these things because you actually believe

56:03

them.

56:04

I'm saying these things to make a point that helps

56:07

tomato soup keep up with

56:09

chicken soup, Because what exactly

56:11

what Roy is saying was exactly My point

56:13

in the debate.

56:14

Chicken soup is you you said it yourself.

56:17

I remember you made a very great point

56:19

that every culture over time has

56:21

had chicken soup, right, But what

56:23

I'm saying is that those same cultures

56:26

had tomato soup, but they didn't know it because

56:28

we.

56:28

Not only culture had tomatoes.

56:30

Now everybody had chickens, not not every

56:32

culture had tomatoes, but tomato soup

56:35

was coming through with a lot more than

56:37

just that one blended Campbell's.

56:39

Can tomato as a whole

56:41

serving the culinary palette across different

56:43

cultures, is what you're saying.

56:45

Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying that a lot of cultures.

56:47

Did didn't have tomatoes, I understand, but

56:51

with tomatoes, as soon as they did, though, they

56:53

would they make a little bit of sauce. What'd

56:55

they make a little bit of a spaghetti?

56:58

What did they make tomato soup?

57:00

I'm saying.

57:01

I'm saying there are more cultures that have chicken

57:04

soup than have tomato soup.

57:07

And I can't I can't fight you on

57:09

that, but I'm just trying to show you it's not one versus

57:11

ten.

57:12

You know, what is this truth?

57:14

The Avalon read this one d I

57:16

primarily listen to these episodes, but I

57:18

ran to YouTube to watch Jewels Saye's face

57:21

as josh is making the last ditch argument.

57:23

And I am not disappointed. Oh

57:28

Joshua, Joshua,

57:31

you have to defend it all the way to the end.

57:33

You have to defend the lie no

57:36

matter what. Oh, thank

57:38

you, see, thank you.

57:40

I was looking at these videos, going, my skin looks

57:42

amazing. Abba sis

57:46

fie on my probably never say that, so

57:48

I'll say it's extra points because their skin is on the

57:50

glow up. Yes, that what I was looking at it going,

57:53

my skin look good, But I didn't want to say nothing.

57:55

Wow.

57:55

But I am so glad. See, I know.

57:58

I've been looking at my skinny past like

58:00

one, you know, and you know why my skin

58:02

looked like that because

58:05

it was warm out summertime.

58:09

I'm a summertime beach. You

58:12

understand, summertime beach.

58:14

We're not as well to even be in this climate.

58:17

Finally, somebody standing up for josh

58:20

Spwaff.

58:21

Writes, that's the person that.

58:24

Swaff. Did you

58:26

write this comment?

58:27

No, that wasn't me. Why would it.

58:29

This is the first time anybody's been accused of right. One

58:32

of the comments and it's me. It's

58:34

for some back it up. What I'm saying, Wait,

58:37

Joshua is kind of right. Technically

58:40

all that stuff is tomato soup.

58:42

Serial killer.

58:44

Okay, first of all, the dad, take

58:47

it back, take it back.

58:48

I'll never take it back.

58:49

I hate it that I have a piece

58:52

of apple ready.

58:52

For you, my dad.

58:54

When I sneeze,

58:58

I don't.

58:58

I don't now

59:01

fuck it man, I'm with you, bro, I

59:04

hate DM Sorry, that's

59:06

your business. That's a guy you pray to. Ketchup

59:09

is tomato soup?

59:10

How out here?

59:11

It's just viscosity, Yeah, because

59:15

it's literally just a change in the level

59:17

of.

59:19

Water and vinegar and sugar.

59:20

So then isn't everything ketchup? Then?

59:23

No, you have it with a spoon soup.

59:25

You can eat ketchup with That depends on

59:27

how you look at it.

59:28

You can eat.

59:29

Okay, how is everything?

59:31

If you want to reverse things, then that that's that's

59:34

up to you. I'm just saying.

59:35

What I'm saying is how is everything?

59:36

Not Marin ear Well, the episode wasn't

59:38

chicken soup versus ketchup. It was chicken soup

59:40

versus tomato soup. My tomato

59:43

soup points.

59:43

Then I can just say chicken soup is is Ramen.

59:47

It's Ramen with less noodles.

59:48

But you don't have to put noodles.

59:50

Everything is everything is Ramen. You't

59:52

gota put noodles in Ramen to make it ramen. It's

59:54

just broth and some ship.

59:56

No Ramen is the noodles. If you don't put Ramen

59:58

in noodles.

59:59

I don't have that. Who says who? Who set these rules?

1:00:02

It's ramen. That's like saying

1:00:04

you can have spaghetti without having noodles.

1:00:07

You can.

1:00:08

That's just a ball of mari and aarosauce. You

1:00:11

didn't have spaghetti, you just had poverty.

1:00:12

I see why you do this every episode. This ship is

1:00:15

fun bro for

1:00:19

no reason.

1:00:20

I'm not right up.

1:00:22

You can't have ramen soup without the noodles. You can't

1:00:25

have spaghetti without noodles. Can you have lasagna

1:00:27

if there's no noodles.

1:00:28

It's like you can't, Like you can't win with her.

1:00:30

She's always ready.

1:00:32

Yeah,

1:00:34

I have a brother, Bro. The

1:00:37

other thing about this is but y'all don't But y'all don't

1:00:39

remember is Josh has no siblings.

1:00:42

Oh, you're

1:00:44

coming in at a disadvantage. Truly. Yeah.

1:00:47

Yeah, I still fought my way through all

1:00:49

season out here by myself,

1:00:53

fighting for my life.

1:00:54

Don't you tell me all my life I had to fight.

1:00:58

This Matil day man, tell

1:01:00

thee of our gone and his evil

1:01:03

must be evil desire to win at

1:01:05

any costs. Josh is going too

1:01:07

far, all caps. That's

1:01:10

the only sensible reaction anyone

1:01:12

could have to his silly self in this

1:01:14

debate. Chicken soup wins.

1:01:17

Not his silly self. Yeah,

1:01:20

listen, Josh, I applaud

1:01:22

you for being willing

1:01:25

to take up this mantle because

1:01:28

you knew it was wild when you said it.

1:01:30

Well, look, we we could. We could

1:01:32

go on to another episode. Could

1:01:34

we could go on to a whole other episode. Probably

1:01:36

should where I'm where I'm at least making I've

1:01:38

never.

1:01:38

Been called evil, not to my face, well

1:01:40

not on the internet.

1:01:41

Well, nonetheless, this

1:01:44

has been a joy for

1:01:46

you all to have me here and listen

1:01:49

to you to go back and forth.

1:01:51

Yeah, we did it.

1:01:53

Listen, Josh, you know how to wrap us up.

1:01:55

Well, that wraps up our season finale of Hold

1:01:58

Up Dose.

1:01:58

And I can't thank you enough for two in each

1:02:00

week sharing your love for the show and even

1:02:02

helping us decide which topics to debate and

1:02:05

get way way too mad about.

1:02:07

We're about to take a little break, resting,

1:02:10

recuperating. That's a lie.

1:02:12

We're grinding all right. You already know

1:02:15

we won't stop. We can't stop.

1:02:16

Feel free to bringe all hold Up episodes

1:02:19

on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever.

1:02:20

You get your podcast.

1:02:22

While you're in there, make sure to check out

1:02:24

our other shows in the TDS podcast universe,

1:02:26

like The Daily Show, Ears Edition, Beyond

1:02:29

the Scenes and Jordan Klepper Fingers

1:02:31

The Conspiracy. We hope you enjoy

1:02:33

them all and we'll see you all

1:02:36

soon.

1:02:37

Bye.