Welcome back! IT’S ELIJAH WOOD’S BIRTHDAY!!!!

Happy birthday, you beautiful man. I would have met you in real life but I couldn’t get $80 out of the ATM there. Next time, for sure!

Talking points - IT’S ELIJAH WOOD’S BIRTHDAY AND GRIFFIN DOESN’T KNOW THE WORDS TO HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Kaiser eats a burrito, HippoGriff doesn’t feel at home on this world anymore, Kaiser eats another burrito, we bastardize burritos into burrites, Kaiser realizes his jokes are bad, Kaiser remembers not to write in third person, I tell you how to get lucky, Dick Nuts and Flappy Man Burgers, we condone stealing, we’re bewildered at the waste of good cereal, and I get giggly for no reason.

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