Finding out about our family's history can tell us so much about ourselves, and our place in the world. For a long time, Deb Liu, CEO of Ancestry.com, said she felt like a victim of her history. She grew up in South Carolina, and since she was one of the only Asian-American kids in her classes, she was often made the target of pranks and bullying. She had to fight for her place in the world. 

Fast forward years later, Liu credits Sheryl Sandberg, her mentor at Facebook, for helping her come out of her shell and embrace her true self. One day after a meeting, Sandberg pulled her aside and said, “You can stop fighting now. You can be gracious.” This statement profoundly changed the way she worked. Listen in to hear her advice on leading with warmth, how to avoid falling into the trap of ‘strategic ambiguity’ in your career, and why she thinks more women should plan their marriages the same way they plan their wedding day.

Takeaways:

It's important to speak up and advocate for yourself in the workplace. Don't be invisible; make your contributions known.

Building relationships is key. Seek out allies, mentors, and sponsors who can provide advice and open doors for you.

Transition from a mindset of fighting to one of building connections. Success in the workplace is about teamwork and relationships, not just individual achievement.

 Plan your marriage with the same care as your wedding. Discuss expectations and roles to create a partnership where both parties contribute and support each other.

Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Background01:43 The Road to Becoming a CEO03:23 Speaking Up and Building Relationships06:27 The Importance of Allies, Mentors, and Sponsors09:25 Asking for What You Want10:34 Transitioning from Fighting For What You Deserve to Building Connections14:27 A Swim Lane Marriage21:14 The Vision for Ancestry.com26:36 Lightning Round29:43 Where to Find Deb Liu

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