It is great to be back with season 3 of the podcast!

And today I’m talking about After-school Restraint Collapse.

You may not have heard this term - if you haven’t, it simply refers to the phenomenon of kids holding it together all day and then after-school they fall apart. They might have a meltdown in the car on the way home or they might be grumpy and short-tempered for the rest of the day, making everyone else's day miserable too.

I’m going to talk in depth about what causes After-School Restraint Collaps, why it’s on the increase, what’s going on at an emotional level and how we can deal with it.

I spend time looking at the big picture of why school isn't working for so many children and also what parents can do in the moment to support their child.

I talk about the coke bottle analogy - how the micro-stressors that children experience every day in school is like shaking up a bottle of coke.

Then, when they reconnect with you, their safe person, they stop trying to hold things together and all those bubbles come fizzing out - sometimes explosively so.

In this episode I talk in depth about the challenges many children face in a school system that is often not child friendly.

I want to emphasise here that there are many amazing teachers in the school system that are working hard to create safe, nurturing spaces for their students - thank you! We need more of you doing this work. And I also acknowledge that it is difficult for teachers to work within a system that has large class sizes and a focus on standardised testing of students. The reality is that many children struggle with the school system and we need to question why that is and what we can do about it.

I think it is important to focus on the big systemic issues as well as the very practical steps you can take to meet your child's physical and emotional needs after school.

00:00:16 Understanding after school restraint collapse.00:05:28 Emotional support is crucial for children.00:14:51 Schools can be stressful for kids.00:17:05 Advocate for your child's needs.00:20:42 Listen and believe your child.00:25:58 Practice self-compassion in parenting.00:30:35 Self-care for balanced parenting.00:35:35 Connection and play help children process emotions.00:42:07 Support and connect with parents.

If you are ready to put these ideas into practice in your own parenting, come and work with me over in the Peaceful Parent School.  Click here to find out more and book your place.
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