On this episode of How to Split a Toaster, hosts Seth Nelson and Pete Wright speak with licensed marriage and family therapist Linda Hershman. They discuss the rising trend of "gray divorce" among older couples, the practice of discernment counseling, and how divorce later in life impacts adult children.
Key Takeaways on Gray Divorce
Discernment Counseling
Discernment counseling helps mixed agenda couples (one leaning in, one leaning out) decide whether to stay married or divorce. There are 3 paths offered in discernment counseling: stay the course and do nothing for now, move towards separation and divorce, or enter intensive marriage counseling where divorce is off the table. Discernment counseling is not regular marriage counseling - the goal is not to improve the marriage but rather to help the couple decide what to do next. It aims to create momentum to save the marriage for those who are unsure if they want to stay married.
Listener Question on Custody and Visitation Restrictions
Judges can and do restrict custody and visitation if there are demonstrated safety concerns and evidence the children are being negatively impacted, like DUIs with a child in the car. However, schedule disruptions or complications alone don't usually qualify as emergencies warranting restrictions in the eyes of the court. The bar is high for judicial intervention limiting parental rights. The advice is to check your local laws and not assume your situation will automatically be seen as an emergency. Present concrete evidence of danger or harm if you want the court to intervene with custody and visitation restrictions.
Linda Hershman's Book
Linda Hershman is the author of Gray Divorce: Everything You Need to Know About Later Life Breakups. Her book covers various topics related to gray divorce, including the trends, impacts on adult children, LGBT and mixed orientation divorce, and more.
Links & Notes
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