0:00

Hi, everyone.

0:00

Welcome to the next episode of

0:02

the Bay Street Capital Holdings

0:02

podcast titled, How'd You Do It

0:06

& Why Should I Care? This

0:06

series aims to highlight women

0:33

doing amazing work in various

0:33

industries. So today we are so

0:36

lucky to be joined by Stephany

0:36

Hessler, who is a Mindset and

0:39

Performance coach, at Stephany

0:39

Hessler Coaching. Hi, Stephany,

0:42

lovely to have you on the show.

0:44

Hi, Laila,

0:44

great to be here with you. I'm

0:46

so honored to be your guest today.

0:48

So I'm so happy

0:48

that you're here. So let's first

0:50

start off with a quick

0:50

introduction about who you are,

0:53

and perhaps and answer the main

0:53

question of the podcast, which

0:55

is how to do it and why should I care.

0:58

Sure, yes. So

0:58

thank you for the kind

1:01

introduction. I'm a Mindset and

1:01

Performance coach and I help

1:06

high achieving corporate

1:06

leaders, and business owners who

1:10

are tired of playing too small,

1:10

too rapidly advance their

1:14

career, and really create a

1:14

vision that others want to

1:17

follow without sacrificing the

1:17

life they dream of. And, you

1:23

know, I started my career in the

1:23

investment business like you, I

1:26

went to University of

1:26

Pennsylvania for my MBA. But

1:30

I'll tell you, the reason people

1:30

really need to care about this

1:33

is because I have, first of all,

1:33

I've coached hundreds of people

1:37

over the years. And every year,

1:37

I have hundreds of conversations

1:42

with high achieving individuals

1:42

who went to schools like

1:45

University of Pennsylvania, who

1:45

have had a certain level of

1:49

success, but no, they can be

1:49

doing better. So that's why

1:54

people should care, because

1:54

everybody can be doing better.

1:58

That's also and that's such an interesting concept. So that leads me on to

2:00

ask you, what inspires you to

2:05

sort of create your own company?

2:05

Because you're obviously as

2:07

definitely has the coaching,

2:07

which is named after you. So I'm

2:11

curious, what inspired you to

2:11

become an entrepreneur?

2:14

Yeah, that's a

2:14

really great question. Because I

2:16

started my career in the

2:16

corporate world, I grew up in

2:20

very much of a business family.

2:20

Also, my father was an executive

2:23

with a big multinational

2:23

company. But I always had a

2:27

yearning to be self employed.

2:27

I've always been on the creative

2:32

side. And I like, you know,

2:32

honestly, I don't like other

2:35

people telling me what to do. So

2:35

having that level of freedom and

2:39

independence was one of the

2:39

really important reasons that I

2:42

became an entrepreneur. But

2:42

maybe also to answer your

2:46

question a little bit that you

2:46

know, why, why I'm doing what

2:50

I'm doing, is because I went

2:50

through a really hard time,

2:54

about 20 years ago. And it

2:54

helped me to realize, or I have

2:59

to, I should say, it woke me up

2:59

to realize that even though I

3:02

went to great schools, I had a

3:02

fantastic education, some of the

3:06

most important things in life,

3:06

we don't learn, right, we don't

3:12

learn about success.

3:14

Yeah. And yeah,

3:14

following on from that, you

3:17

brought up an interesting point.

3:17

Obviously, we're not taught

3:19

things about success in school

3:19

and in college. So I'm curious

3:23

as to what were the best resources for you that helped you along in your journey?

3:25

Because now you're teaching people about these concepts?

3:28

Yes. Yep.

3:28

Yeah. So as I was mentioning,

3:32

about 20 years ago, I went

3:32

through a really, really hard

3:35

time in my personal life. And it

3:35

kind of went on for a few years.

3:40

And one of the things I finally

3:40

realized was that I had to take

3:44

100% responsibility for myself,

3:44

I had to stop playing a victim

3:49

in any way. And so I started

3:49

tapping into exactly what you're

3:54

asking me about these amazing

3:54

resources. I started studying

3:59

with some teachers, really

3:59

famous teachers, authors past

4:04

and present. Participating in

4:04

coaching programs, I studied

4:08

spirituality, world religions, I

4:08

devoured personal achievement

4:13

information, all while I was

4:13

still working in, in the

4:16

corporate world. And of course,

4:16

in today's world, we have just

4:20

amazing teachers who are on on

4:20

YouTube, for example. Right. So

4:26

So I've availed myself of all

4:26

kinds of wonderful teachers in

4:31

the personal growth industry.

4:33

That's really awesome. And I'm glad that you have access to those resources.

4:35

And it seems like you're pretty

4:38

much quite a go getter, you

4:38

somebody who you know, forges

4:41

their own path. So I'm curious

4:41

as to whether any lessons that

4:45

you should have known before

4:45

starting your own company and,

4:47

you know, becoming self employed.

4:50

Yeah, I would

4:50

say I think the number one

4:54

lesson Laila that I wish I had

4:54

known, was, um, What an

5:01

incredible tool social media is

5:01

for growing your business. And,

5:07

you know, you're you're, I'm

5:07

guessing you're a little bit

5:09

younger than I am, you've

5:09

probably grown up in that world

5:12

of social media. I didn't grow

5:12

up in that world, right, I've

5:15

had to learn it. And I've been

5:15

very open to learning it. But

5:18

when I started my business,

5:18

going back now, seven years ago,

5:22

in coaching, I did it mostly in

5:22

person, like in person events.

5:27

And that worked fine for me, I

5:27

built a good solid foundation.

5:30

But then when COVID came along,

5:30

it forced me it absolutely

5:35

forced me to move my entire

5:35

business online. And now that

5:40

I'm online, I realized how many

5:40

more people you can reach and

5:44

the power of social media. So

5:44

that's the number one thing I

5:48

wish I had known.

5:50

Definitely. And I'm

5:50

so glad that you've sort of

5:52

grasped that now, because in a

5:52

post COVID era, I definitely

5:55

think that social media will

5:55

remain to be a very important

5:57

platform to sort of reach people

5:57

at. Absolutely, yes. Great to

6:02

hear. And, obviously, you know,

6:02

there's a stigma associated with

6:07

being an entrepreneur in the

6:07

sense that it's a very risky

6:09

role, you know, you could fail

6:09

multiple times. I'm just

6:12

curious, thinking about the span

6:12

of your career, what would you

6:15

say was your biggest failure?

6:15

And what did you learn from it?

6:18

Well, I think,

6:18

you know, that's a really,

6:21

really great question. And I

6:21

guess if I think back in my, in

6:26

my life, you know, I, I had some

6:26

failures in my, what I might

6:31

call failures in my 20s, and

6:31

30s. And what they were were

6:36

were choices and decisions that

6:36

I made that were based on fear.

6:41

Right. And what I learned was

6:41

that that's never a good way to

6:44

make decisions is to make

6:44

decisions based on fear or what

6:48

other people think you should be

6:48

doing versus what's right for

6:52

me, right, or for really coming

6:52

from a place of confidence and

6:56

being well thought out. But what

6:56

I understand now, Leila, and I

7:00

don't know if you're familiar

7:00

with the book, it's called

7:02

PSYCHO CYBERNETICS by the

7:02

medical Dr. Maxwell Maltz. It's

7:06

one of the best books out there

7:06

in the world on how the mind

7:10

works and the power of the mind.

7:10

And one of the things he says is

7:14

that we basically fail our way

7:14

to success. Life is a continual

7:21

course correction process.

7:21

Right? So I mean, I could spend

7:25

a week telling you about all the

7:25

failures I've had in the last

7:28

seven years building my

7:28

business, right, but I just

7:31

don't look at it that way

7:31

anymore. I know that it's

7:34

negative feedback. That just

7:34

reminds me how to keep moving in

7:38

the right direction, right to

7:38

get back on course,

7:42

that's a really

7:42

positive way to look at it as a

7:44

learning opportunity rather than

7:44

a failure. And I'm glad that you

7:47

know, that distinction quite

7:47

early on in your career. Yes,

7:50

yes, that's great. And following

7:50

on from that, you've been sort

7:54

of dropping really great pieces

7:54

of advice throughout our whole

7:56

conversation. But what is one

7:56

piece of advice that you would

7:59

give somebody who's wanting to

7:59

pursue a career similar to

8:02

yours?

8:04

Gosh, so I

8:04

guess the the number one piece

8:07

of advice that I would give to

8:07

someone based on my experience,

8:11

is to partner with an

8:11

organization for your training,

8:15

that is really going to be a

8:15

partner in terms of not only the

8:20

the mental things, the

8:20

intellectual knowledge you need

8:24

to learn, because, you know, I

8:24

think a lot of people enter the

8:27

mindset world, and they think,

8:27

Oh, I've had a certain level of

8:30

success. So therefore, I can be

8:30

a mindset coach. But there are a

8:35

lot of levels of depth to

8:35

mindset, what exactly mindset

8:41

is, and then teaching it. So

8:41

that would be the one thing to

8:45

to really make sure that you're

8:45

partnering with an organization

8:50

that is going to teach you in

8:50

depth. And that will also be a

8:54

partner to you as you build your

8:54

business. Because otherwise, I

8:58

think being an entrepreneur can

8:58

be a lonely journey.

9:01

Definitely. And,

9:01

finally, about your career,

9:05

we've been talking about, you

9:05

know, the concept, the concept

9:08

of being a entrepreneur and what

9:08

the public thinks about it in

9:11

our conversation, but what is

9:11

one common myth about being an

9:14

entrepreneur that you would like

9:14

to debunk right here right now?

9:18

Oh, well, I

9:18

guess that that the, the most

9:23

common myth that I would wanted

9:23

to debunk is that, you know,

9:27

especially on the coaching end,

9:27

being because as an

9:31

entrepreneur, generally

9:31

speaking, you are, you know, an

9:35

independent entrepreneur, even

9:35

if you're affiliated with an

9:39

organization the way I am, I'm

9:39

still an independent

9:42

entrepreneur. So just because

9:42

you have an idea, doesn't mean

9:47

that and it could be a brilliant

9:47

idea doesn't mean that people

9:50

are going to start coming at

9:50

you, right? You've really got to

9:54

build the business and make sure

9:54

you've got the right people. The

9:59

right customer. For support the

9:59

right systems that you know,

10:03

finances the capital. So it's

10:03

and building a business truly is

10:09

a marathon. It truly is a

10:09

marathon. It's not a sprint.

10:13

Definitely. And that's something to keep in mind. Because I think we're

10:15

constantly surrounded by the

10:17

idea that, you know,

10:17

entrepreneurs, they start a

10:19

company and then suddenly

10:19

they're unicorns or suddenly

10:22

they've IPO. And it's happened

10:22

so quickly, but you don't see

10:25

the hard work that's going on

10:25

behind the company. Yes,

10:29

exactly. And I'm sure you're

10:29

really busy at the moment,

10:32

obviously, with your coaching.

10:32

But I'm curious as to what's one

10:35

thing that you've read or

10:35

listened to recently, this

10:37

really inspired you.

10:39

Actually, one,

10:39

one book that I've been reading,

10:44

believe it or not, every day for

10:44

the last eight months, and I

10:48

read it with one of my

10:48

colleagues, she and I read

10:50

together every day. And this is

10:50

something that we learned from

10:54

from Bob Proctor. He's the

10:54

individual who owns the business

10:59

that I've trained with the

10:59

Procter Gallagher Institute. And

11:01

the book is called The Science

11:01

of Getting Rich. I don't know if

11:05

you're familiar with that book.

11:05

It's by a guy named Wallace

11:08

Wattles. It was written in the

11:08

1900s. And it's the book that

11:12

inspired Rhonda Byrne to produce

11:12

the documentary, The Secret,

11:17

which is one of the most

11:17

successful personal growth

11:19

documentaries ever. And that was

11:19

actually the movie that really,

11:24

really piqued my interest about

11:24

personal growth. So what I love

11:30

about this book, The Science of

11:30

Getting Rich is that he really

11:34

reminds us that there are so

11:34

many invisible forces in play in

11:39

life, right? I mean, we tend to

11:39

think that the world is this

11:43

physical material world. But

11:43

actually, there's so much more

11:47

right that we are part of, of a

11:47

greater power of an invisible

11:53

intelligence, right, whatever

11:53

you want to call it, if you want

11:55

to call it God, or universal

11:55

mind or infinite intelligence.

11:59

And that this intelligence is a

11:59

lie. It is, it is a living,

12:03

pulsating force. And that we as

12:03

humans, as people are the

12:08

highest form of creation here on

12:08

Earth, we have amazing powers.

12:12

In our mind, we have higher

12:12

faculties like imagination,

12:15

right? And it's so inspiring,

12:15

because you really teach us

12:18

some, some vital concepts. But

12:18

it's that that key idea that we

12:24

are powerful, and that we are

12:24

part of this far, far, far

12:28

greater intelligence,

12:30

this interesting

12:30

book. What's that? That seems

12:33

like such an interesting book.

12:35

It's wonderful, I highly recommend it.

12:38

Let's check it out.

12:38

And you touched on this a little

12:41

earlier about, you know, you're

12:41

having your network there for

12:43

you. And just like the power of

12:43

having really great

12:46

relationships, especially as an entrepreneur, because you mentioned it can be lonely, but

12:48

I'm curious as to who are three

12:51

people in your life who have

12:51

been the most influential to

12:53

you?

12:54

Yes, yes.

12:54

Well, I hope it's okay. If I if

12:57

I kind of throw my parents into

12:57

one person. Oh, cool. Yeah. They

13:01

were married for 60 years. But I

13:01

would say definitely the first

13:06

two people who who are the first

13:06

of the three are my parents,

13:11

because they just inspired me in

13:11

so many ways. And both my

13:14

parents came from fairly humble

13:14

backgrounds. My father's from a

13:17

small town outside of Hamburg,

13:17

Germany, my mother's from a

13:21

small town outside of Phoenix,

13:21

Arizona, and they met in the

13:26

Philippines. And my father was

13:26

opening an office for an

13:30

international company, my mother

13:30

was a flight attendant for, for

13:34

panamerican. And together, my

13:34

parents lived in nine different

13:38

countries. Wow. And my brothers

13:38

and sister and I lived in many

13:42

of these countries with them and

13:42

traveled and were exposed to so

13:46

many cultures and languages and

13:46

people. So I feel like my

13:50

parents absolutely just opened

13:50

me up to the richness of of the

13:55

world. Right. So definitely,

13:55

number one were my parents.

13:59

Number two, I would say was, is

13:59

the personal growth teacher,

14:03

Louise Hay. She passed away a

14:03

few years ago. But she really

14:09

really was a key person in my

14:09

life, even though I confess I

14:12

have never met her in person.

14:12

But I've listened to her so many

14:17

1000s of times, probably on

14:17

YouTube. And he really helped me

14:22

when I was going through that

14:22

difficult time that I was

14:24

telling you about. Because he

14:24

helped me to realize that we

14:28

experience life through our

14:28

minds and through our thinking.

14:32

Right and just I learned so many

14:32

important things about her from

14:36

her about the power of our

14:36

thinking, our beliefs and our

14:39

subconscious mind. And then the

14:39

third one is my my teacher, Bob

14:45

Proctor. So Bob is, as I

14:45

mentioned, he's the chairman of

14:48

the Procter Gallagher Institute,

14:48

the company that I'm affiliated

14:51

with. And Bob is one of the best

14:51

teachers out in the world today

14:55

on the subject of personal

14:55

achievement. And I've been, I've

14:59

trained with him Many times in

14:59

person I, I, you know, continue

15:04

to train with him. And I have

15:04

learned so much from him. He is

15:08

such a skilled and experienced

15:08

teacher in personal growth. And

15:13

for example, he's also a superb

15:13

public speaker. So I've learned

15:16

so much about public speaking

15:16

from him. So very grateful. Also

15:21

to him, I would say those are

15:21

the top three

15:24

people and such a

15:24

great, it's a good tonight,

15:26

you're surrounded by such great

15:26

people. And then finally, to

15:30

round off our conversation for

15:30

the day, what is one piece of

15:32

advice that you wish you gave

15:32

yourself at any point in your

15:35

life?

15:37

You know, I

15:37

would say that it's, it's a it's

15:40

a phrase that I learned from

15:40

Louise Hay. And it's really

15:44

simple. And it's this all is

15:44

well, everything is happening

15:49

for your higher good. You know,

15:49

that because one of the things I

15:54

know when I was younger, I think

15:54

I had a lot of angst and anxiety

15:58

and was I doing this right and

15:58

that right? And what if this and

16:01

that just in this constantly

16:01

over analyzing overthinking. And

16:05

I see that a lot honestly, with

16:05

with high achieving, you know,

16:10

well educated people, this

16:10

overthinking things, a lot of

16:14

tension, overwhelm, and if we

16:14

can all just relax and you know,

16:20

realize that we are we are

16:20

spiritual beings having a human

16:25

experience. We're here for a

16:25

short time. There's purpose to

16:29

our lives, there's so much

16:29

meaning and significance in

16:34

life. And let's just chill a

16:34

little more and, and trust trust

16:39

the process of life.

16:40

of life. And

16:40

sometimes the smallest things

16:46

can really bother you. But at

16:46

the end of the day is all about

16:50

the bigger picture. And as

16:50

mentioned, just trusting the

16:54

process. Yes. Well, yeah. What a

16:54

wonderful note to end on. So

16:58

thank you so much for taking the

16:58

time to speak with me today. It

17:00

was truly engulfing sensation.

17:03

Thank you. I

17:03

really appreciate your time.

17:05

Thank you.