0:01

True terrors of horror,

0:03

bizarre happenings, unexplainable events.

0:07

On our podcast, Disturbed, Terror

0:09

Takes Center Stage. Each

0:12

episode is a journey into the darkest

0:14

corners of human existence, delving

0:17

into bone-chilling tales of

0:19

kidnappings, serial killers, maniacs,

0:22

and the very essence of your

0:24

worst nightmares coming to life on

0:27

this weekly true horror show. Disturbed

0:31

is not for the faint of heart. It's

0:33

an exploration of real, unadulterated

0:36

horror sourced from everyday people.

0:40

Each episode is a descent into the macabre,

0:42

where we narrate stories that will leave you on

0:44

the edge of your seat and

0:46

crawling in your skin. We

0:50

navigate the disturbing narratives that lurk

0:52

in the shadows, offering

0:54

a raw and unfiltered listen

0:56

into the most terrifying aspects

0:58

of the human experience. Enter

1:02

at your own risk and

1:04

let the unsettling tales unfold

1:06

in the haunting realm of

1:09

Disturbed. And remember

1:11

listeners, stay safe out

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DNA testing to the Dixie Mafia, Crime

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2:35

your host, Benjamin Morris. Join

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us for exclusive interviews with authors

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of our country's past. You

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can find us wherever you

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get your favorite podcasts or

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on evergreenpodcasts.com. History

2:54

is so interesting, it's criminal. I

3:02

intend to be the toughest mayor on crime

3:04

this city has ever seen. It's

3:09

New York in the 1980s and 90s. A

3:12

city overrun by violent crime. A

3:14

tough mayor needs tough cops. And

3:17

no cop is tougher than

3:19

Detective Louis Scarcella. Scourish!

3:23

Jump out. I run over

3:25

him. He goes for a gun. I

3:27

grab him and I knock him to

3:30

the ground. There's no feeling

3:32

like it in the world. You

3:34

know you're doing good for good people. Putting

3:36

bad guys away. Scarcella's

3:39

beat? Brooklyn. It was the

3:41

murder capital of the world. I would leave

3:43

work at night and hear the shots of

3:45

my next homicide. a

4:00

legit job when he was

4:02

arrested for murder. Here comes Detective Lorsch

4:09

Are you crazy? I've never made no confession.

4:13

Derek Hamilton, another Brooklyn man,

4:15

was also arrested for murder. In

4:20

prison, Derek and Shabaka

4:22

make a discovery. I

4:35

think that moment helped change the

4:37

course of New York City legal

4:39

history. I eat, slept, and

4:41

shit law. In the prison

4:43

law library, they founded a law firm.

4:45

Look, man, this is our team right here. We're

4:47

gonna work these cases and we're gonna get out.

4:52

They target one cop, Detective

4:55

Louis Scarcella. Got himself.

4:58

They found an ally in a New

5:00

York Times reporter named

5:03

Francis Frenchy Robles. And

5:05

he says, I know a lot of cases

5:07

in Brooklyn of wrongful convictions. A lot of

5:09

them are the same cop. And

5:12

his name is Louis Scarcella.

5:14

Oh, boom, you know, that's

5:16

when I fell out of my chair. I'm

5:19

Steve Fishman. And I'm Dax

5:21

Devlin-Rose. Welcome to The

5:24

Burt. We're gonna take

5:26

you on a journey into the belly of the

5:28

beast. We're already guilty

5:31

and we're gonna get away with it unless he

5:33

closes the case. They've

5:36

characterized him as this sort

5:39

of diabolical, corrupt cop. Just

5:41

totally not possible. He

5:45

puts his arms around me and

5:47

he says, we both know who this guy

5:49

is. We both know this guilty. They

5:52

are absolutely committed to

5:54

vindicating themselves and they

5:56

continue to do it.

5:58

Dark, dear. day after

6:00

dark day for decades. You

6:03

don't have any partners to this. You're

6:05

illegal. You're holding it in faith.

6:08

I am the protector of these people.

6:10

I am the guardian that they need.

6:13

All the blame here was being put on Scarcella.

6:15

Scarcella is not the criminal justice system. And

6:18

everyone talks, even Detective

6:20

Scarcella, who's ducked the press

6:22

for years. And I

6:24

really, really truly want

6:28

the people to know

6:30

me. I

6:32

don't know if it's ever going to happen. Yes,

6:34

it will. The burden of

6:37

Orbit Media. They could go fuck

6:39

themselves. I did

6:41

nothing wrong. Coming

6:45

soon. Listen wherever you get

6:47

your podcasts. Hey,

6:51

Humo soldiers. I

6:53

know a woman who is planning on moving

6:55

to South Africa. That

6:58

idea is insane. South

7:01

Africa is routinely voted one

7:03

of the most dangerous countries in the

7:06

world for women. With

7:08

rape statistics that tower above those of

7:10

most of the rest of the world.

7:13

It is also a place where a

7:15

single lock and deadbolt on your front

7:18

door will not cut it

7:20

as security. Security needs

7:22

to be layered in a country

7:24

so dangerous. My

7:26

friend Penny Morris, who you

7:28

know more likely as Miss

7:31

Demeter, lives in Pretoria,

7:33

South Africa. And she was

7:35

a victim of home invasion. The

7:38

burglars must have brought a step

7:40

side truck because they even stole

7:42

her refrigerator. Hell, they even

7:44

cleaned out her underwear drawer. Penny

7:47

desperately needs our help to

7:49

change address to a location

7:52

that offers more safety for

7:54

herself and her special needs

7:56

son. I Have

7:58

attached a link to the Patreon page. An account

8:00

where you can make a donation. Thank

8:03

you so much Season! Real danger.

8:41

Welcome to Human Monsters! This.

8:44

Episode was adapted from

8:47

the memoir Broken, the

8:49

most shocking childhood story

8:51

ever told an inspirational

8:53

author who survived it

8:55

by Shy Keenan. Shy.

9:00

Is the second child is

9:02

Jennifer an only child of

9:05

Frederick Wooten born Karen and

9:07

she was born in Nineteen

9:09

Sixty three. Jennifer in Frederick

9:12

were financially unstable and did

9:14

a lot of couch surfing

9:17

during shies early years. They

9:19

stayed with family, friends, or

9:21

whoever was generous enough to

9:24

let them stay. Eventually, this

9:26

became tiresome for all who

9:29

hosted. Them And they settled in

9:31

an apartment beneath that of shies

9:33

and to. Jennifer

9:36

and Frederick where habitual offenders

9:38

of petty crime mostly theft.

9:41

They would leave shy alone

9:43

at home, even when she

9:45

was an instant while they

9:47

went out stealing and spending

9:50

the proceeds of stealing. Not

9:52

only did they neglect their

9:54

care of baby Karen, but

9:57

they seldom intended to their

9:59

house. duties, and soon

10:01

the house grew foul with

10:04

clutter and filth. It

10:07

attracted pests like cockroaches.

10:10

It acquired an odor that was

10:13

so pungent it brought water to

10:15

the eyes. They

10:17

would leave the radio on when they went

10:19

out. The electricity generator

10:21

was coin-operated, and after a

10:24

few hours of radio play,

10:27

the apartment would be plunged

10:29

into darkness. When

10:31

her parents returned, they were usually

10:33

drunk and or high. It

10:36

was the swinging sixties, and they

10:38

were swinging like a motherfucker. They

10:42

parented at their convenience,

10:45

much to the inconvenience of their

10:47

child. They must

10:49

not have been aware that baby

10:51

Karen had a painful skin condition

10:54

with a tapestry of red bleeding

10:56

sores covering 60% of

10:59

her body. She was

11:01

underweight and frequently distressed

11:03

by her lot in life, without

11:06

even knowing it was amoral. She

11:09

was left to fend for

11:11

herself on a urine-soaked cot,

11:14

with the cockroaches that crawled

11:16

over her body as her

11:19

only companions. The

11:21

diapers went unchanged for

11:23

24 hours at a time. She

11:26

starved for hours once the

11:29

bottles were sucked dry. Jennifer

11:32

and Fred wouldn't allow visitors

11:34

in their apartment, so nobody

11:37

knew how grossly inappropriate it

11:39

was for child rearing. One

11:43

night, their neighboring relative Violet

11:45

heard baby Karen's weeping after

11:47

the radio grew quiet. She

11:50

broke into the apartment and

11:52

discovered, to her horror, the

11:54

appalling conditions in which Karen

11:57

had been living. Violet,

12:00

and other relatives intervened. Karen,

12:02

Jennifer, and Frederick were plucked

12:04

out of the apartment. Karen

12:07

was seen by a doctor for the

12:09

first time since she was born. Her

12:12

skin condition was treated and cured.

12:14

A couple known as

12:16

the wall bridges monitored the situation

12:19

and even took care of Karen

12:21

in their own home from time

12:23

to time. During

12:26

one such visit, Jennifer and

12:28

Frederick planned and executed the

12:30

robbery of a gas station.

12:33

It didn't go as planned and

12:35

Jennifer was nearly charged and convicted.

12:38

She had sex with the arresting

12:40

officer and avoided prosecution due to

12:43

his corruption. He

12:45

got her pregnant and she

12:47

manipulated or, shall we say,

12:49

blackmailed him into giving

12:52

her money. Otherwise, she would

12:54

have reported their encounter. This

12:56

was how Karen's sister Denise

12:58

was born. Jennifer

13:01

decided to deter Frederick out of her

13:03

life. What she

13:05

wanted most now was social

13:07

housing or what is referred

13:09

to in England as council

13:12

housing. She appealed

13:14

to the wall bridges to help

13:16

her with it. She claimed to

13:18

have found Jesus or at least

13:20

she appeared sincere enough for them

13:22

to fall for it. As

13:25

a result, they endorsed her

13:27

application for council housing. The

13:30

application was approved. They

13:33

were living in the best council

13:35

housing tax dollars could afford. Frederick

13:38

was working. Jennifer was stealing.

13:41

The neglect of their children

13:43

continued as before. During

13:46

one of her parents' fights,

13:48

Jennifer told Frederick she didn't

13:50

love him and soon after

13:52

he was kicked out. While

13:55

he was leaving, Frederick accidentally

13:57

set fire to the house.

14:00

When the firemen arrived, one child

14:02

was missing from the house. Karen

14:05

was found in a locked wardrobe.

14:08

She was frightened but

14:10

otherwise unscathed. The

14:13

house was mostly just smoke damaged.

14:16

Now that Fred was gone,

14:18

Jennifer's source of income was

14:20

government benefits and the proceeds

14:23

of crime. All she

14:25

wanted out of life was the house like

14:27

the one she was living in. The

14:29

children were just a burden she

14:32

wanted to offload. Once

14:34

again, she went to the wall bridges with

14:37

her hand out. She told

14:39

them she was poor, abandoned

14:41

by Fred, and overwhelmed by

14:43

the demands of childcare. They

14:46

weren't quite so sympathetic this time around. They

14:49

told her to stick it out and

14:51

find a way to cope. Jennifer

14:53

was enraged by what she

14:55

considered to be betrayal on

14:58

their part and she never

15:00

forgave them. Soon

15:02

she and her children were

15:04

bouncing from apartment to house,

15:06

showing up at meal time

15:08

at the homes of relatives

15:10

and friends. They ate

15:13

others food and she let her

15:15

children run wild in their domiciles.

15:18

She was a professional parasite. A

15:23

pivotal moment in Karen's childhood

15:25

came when Jennifer met Stanley

15:28

Claridge. He had

15:30

been a foster child and

15:32

was considered strange even as

15:34

a child. He was adopted

15:36

by an uncle and aunt at the age

15:38

of 10 because nobody else wanted

15:40

him. It was a

15:43

pity-based adoption. He said

15:45

his siblings hated him, though

15:47

that was true of pretty much everybody

15:49

with whom he came in contact. He

15:53

had no friends and claimed to

15:55

have been sexually abused in his

15:57

home, though he says he enjoyed

15:59

the encounters because he was

16:01

at least receiving attention. He

16:05

said that a male adult

16:07

perpetrated the abuse and that

16:09

sometimes they would abuse other

16:11

children as a duo. He

16:14

never admitted to both things at the same

16:16

time. He said he was shy in the

16:18

company of women and was

16:20

far more comfortable in the presence

16:22

of much younger boys. Others

16:25

interpreted it simply as

16:27

homosexuality, much to his

16:29

relief, though it was

16:31

a misinterpretation since he was really

16:34

a pedophile. Back

16:36

then homosexuality and pedophilia

16:38

were viewed by the

16:40

government as equally perverted

16:42

and immoral. Nevertheless

16:45

Stanley found the status of homosexual

16:48

far more appealing than

16:50

that of pedophile. Stanley's

16:54

adoptive mother was concerned

16:56

about his sexual behavior so

16:58

she had him enlist in the army to

17:00

make a man out of him. He

17:03

worked as a cooks assistant and

17:05

bottle washer during his time in

17:08

the service. The

17:10

patriarchal environment of military culture

17:12

was not enough to purge

17:15

Stanley of his appetite for

17:17

young male flesh and

17:19

he frequently brought home young

17:21

men when he was on

17:23

leave. His adoptive mother

17:25

Nancy forced Stanley into

17:28

a loveless heterosexual marriage.

17:31

He had two children with his wife. He

17:33

and his wife were soon divorced. He

17:36

was a physically abusive alcoholic and

17:39

somehow was awarded full custody

17:41

of his two children after

17:43

the mother abandoned them

17:46

all. One of

17:48

them eventually went to live

17:50

in another country but his

17:53

daughter Roma lived with Stanley.

17:55

In 1965 Stanley was a laborer and

17:58

lived in a three-bedroom Row

18:00

House. Stanley was

18:02

prone to dishonesty and exaggeration,

18:04

especially when it came to

18:07

his financial and social status.

18:10

It was this tendency to

18:12

sell himself as more worthy

18:14

as a mate than he

18:17

was that attracted Jennifer. She

18:20

had no use for anybody she couldn't

18:22

use, and he claimed

18:24

to have much that she could squeeze

18:26

out of him. To their

18:29

surprise, Jennifer and Stanley were already

18:32

part of a network. Jennifer's

18:34

brother Ken was married to

18:37

Pat Claridge, who was Stanley's

18:39

cousin and the daughter

18:41

of their grandparents. Jennifer

18:43

met Stanley at a family gathering,

18:45

and she believed every word he

18:47

told her, every lie

18:49

he told her, didn't question a

18:52

single word. Jennifer

18:54

became determined to get her

18:56

hooks into Stanley by any

18:58

means necessary. She

19:00

was 20 years old, and her children

19:03

were under four. Stanley

19:05

was 37 years old. Jennifer

19:08

heard about Stanley's quirks, but

19:11

she was blinded by the

19:13

pound signs in her eyes.

19:16

She was also focused on the

19:18

cleaning lady and the nanny he

19:20

promised her. The

19:22

nanny would be his daughter Roma.

19:26

Stanley was still unsure of

19:28

himself around women, and Jennifer

19:30

decided she would unleash the

19:32

power of her feminine allure

19:35

to seduce him into taking

19:37

her on as his companion.

19:40

She observed that the less

19:42

interest she showed, the more

19:44

determined he became to engage

19:46

with her. Stanley

19:48

was more excited to meet her little

19:51

girls. Excited is

19:53

actually semantically inadequate

19:56

to describe how thrilled he was.

19:59

He was over the fucking moon. Before

20:02

he met them, he wouldn't stop pestering

20:04

her about meeting them. He wanted

20:07

to know when it would be. He was

20:09

like a child in the backseat of a

20:11

car asking, Are we there yet? A child's

20:15

excitement first thing Christmas

20:17

morning didn't compare. Unlike

20:21

many step-parents who dread the

20:23

potential drama that emerges in

20:25

the home environment of a

20:28

blended family, Stanley couldn't

20:30

wait to do all he could for

20:32

the girls. He wanted

20:34

to cook for them, bathe them,

20:38

put them to bed. He

20:40

hadn't even met them and already he

20:42

wanted to play the role of surrogate

20:44

father. Did I mention

20:47

that he wanted to bathe them? Roma

20:50

was not nearly as pleased as

20:52

her father about her new family

20:54

arrangement. Stanley didn't tolerate

20:57

her objections and would send her

20:59

to her mother's home if she

21:01

voiced her opposition. He also made

21:04

her into the household's unpaid slave.

21:08

Jennifer sure was disappointed by

21:10

Stanley's home. It wasn't much

21:12

better than where she and the girls had

21:14

been living. His job

21:17

wasn't much more impressive either. He

21:20

was a manual laborer, blue

21:22

collar. People dreamed

21:24

of the life he promised her and

21:27

she found out much to her

21:29

dismay that it hadn't escalated beyond

21:31

the dream stage for him either.

21:35

Despite her disappointment, she packed herself

21:38

and the girls up and they moved

21:40

to London where they began to live

21:42

with Stanley. He was

21:44

so keen on caring for the girls

21:46

and Jennifer was freed up to do

21:48

as she pleased once she was

21:51

relieved of those duties. So now

21:53

Karen's fate was sealed.

22:00

Every calls her first encounter with Stanley,

22:02

who she often referred to as,

22:05

shiny head, because he was

22:07

bald. The first time we

22:09

all went to visit shiny head at his

22:11

home stands out clearly

22:13

in my mind. I

22:15

remember we were all in his living room

22:18

when he picked me up and sat me on

22:20

his lap. As I

22:22

was sitting on his lap, his

22:25

hands slipped up my dress

22:28

and I remember a sharp, searing

22:31

pain in my bottom. I

22:35

yelped and squirmed, trying

22:37

to get off his lap, but

22:39

the dark haired lady looked angry

22:42

and told me to be nice to my

22:44

new daddy. I

22:46

knew I didn't want the dark haired lady to

22:48

be angry, so I sat still.

22:52

Shiny head seemed nice and

22:54

friendly, although I didn't like

22:56

how his scratchy face hurt

22:58

mine or how hard

23:00

he held me on his lap and

23:03

how sitting there made my

23:05

bum sore. I

23:07

didn't really know him, but I

23:09

knew enough to do as I was told, so

23:12

that's what I did. Soon

23:15

after these initial impressions, little

23:17

Karen, her mother and sister

23:19

moved into Stanley's house. Aside

23:22

from Stanley and his daughter, another

23:25

man would occupy the house, a

23:27

man she found to be rather malevolent.

23:31

Shy recalled another unsettling situation

23:34

from these early days. Just

23:38

a few weeks after we'd moved in

23:40

with shiny head, when I

23:42

was three or four, I remember being

23:44

in a darkened room and

23:47

lying naked on a table that seemed

23:49

a long way from the ground. A

23:52

harsh, bright light kept flashing in

23:55

my eyes, making them

23:57

sting in water. of

24:00

faces in the room, but I didn't know

24:02

who they belonged to. A strange

24:05

clicking sound always followed the

24:07

flashing light, and

24:10

I remember feeling cold and

24:12

worried. Then I saw

24:14

shiny head and the new dark-haired

24:16

face walking around the table,

24:19

looking down at me. Suddenly,

24:23

flashing white and blue lights

24:25

exploded in my head, followed

24:27

by the most excruciating,

24:30

searing pain coming from my

24:32

lower body. I

24:35

felt winded and couldn't breathe.

24:38

I started to scream as the

24:40

pain shot through me. My

24:43

eyes were shut tight, and

24:45

I sobbed when I could breathe enough

24:47

to do so. I

24:50

opened my eyes to see what

24:52

the faces were doing and saw

24:54

through my tears that shiny

24:56

head was directly above me, moving

25:00

up and down. I

25:02

realized that shiny head down

25:05

meant less pain, so I tried to

25:07

move away from the shiny head up

25:11

movement. It was

25:13

then that I realized that I was

25:15

unable to move my arms. I

25:18

didn't know why or how. I

25:20

just knew I couldn't move them at all. My

25:23

legs, too, were being

25:25

squashed by shiny head, and

25:28

I felt unable to fight or move,

25:31

so I stopped trying. When

25:34

the movement eventually stopped and

25:36

I caught my breath, I

25:38

screamed. Shiny head

25:40

punched me hard across the side of

25:43

my head. He

25:45

did it again and again.

25:47

I saw the

25:49

bright lights in my head every time

25:51

shiny head hit me on it, and

25:54

I started to understand that the flashing

25:56

lights in my head meant that

25:58

pain was never far away. behind. I

26:01

was too shocked to make another sound. I

26:04

was trying to catch my breath when

26:06

the movement very quickly started again,

26:09

only now it was the dark haired

26:12

face. The pain was the

26:14

same. It burned

26:16

its way through my lower body. But

26:19

this time I felt like I needed to poo. I

26:22

couldn't feel my legs anymore and

26:24

was sure that I was pooing.

26:27

I could smell it and I could

26:29

feel it. I tried

26:31

to look down to see but the dark

26:34

haired face kept trying to put his mouth

26:36

over mine which was making it

26:38

even harder to breathe. I

26:41

tried to stay still and quiet

26:44

and waited for it to stop. The

26:46

next thing I knew I was in

26:48

the kitchen in the tin bath. Shiny

26:51

head and the dark haired face

26:53

were standing near to me. They

26:56

looked very tall. My

26:58

bottom felt raw. I

27:00

was cold and my body was

27:03

juddering with shock. Sitting

27:05

naked in the bath with the

27:07

top of my body above the water. I felt

27:10

so vulnerable and all

27:12

I could think was that I didn't want

27:15

to be naked in front of them ever

27:17

again. The bath

27:19

water was tepid and making

27:21

me colder but it felt like

27:23

a cover so I sank

27:25

down into it shivering

27:27

and whimpering. Shiny

27:30

head rubbed what felt like liquid

27:32

fire all over me inside

27:35

and outside of my very sore

27:37

body. I started

27:39

to cry but shiny head just

27:41

said you need to

27:43

make sure you're clean all over. I couldn't

27:47

have known then but this was

27:49

the first of many of shiny head's infamous

27:52

and much feared tin

27:54

baths. When

27:56

it was finally finished and I

27:58

was dressed again I

28:00

went up to my room and curled

28:02

into a tight ball on

28:05

my bed and quietly sobbed

28:07

to myself. For

28:09

ages after, I walked

28:12

around like a zombie, dazed

28:14

and distressed. I

28:17

was suddenly snapped out of it when

28:19

I found my little sister, Denise, naked

28:22

and sobbing uncontrollably in the

28:24

loft. Her blonde

28:26

hair was sticking to her face,

28:29

which was wet with tears. She

28:32

was unable to speak, but

28:35

she didn't need to because I

28:37

knew instinctively that what had happened

28:39

to me had happened to her.

28:42

I don't know what I thought other than that

28:45

I understood, so I hugged her

28:48

and dressed her and sat with

28:50

her till she was calmer. I

28:54

felt angry. I didn't want

28:56

anyone to hurt her, and I

28:58

just wanted to make her feel better. So

29:01

I started pulling faces and pretending

29:03

to fall asleep, leaning

29:05

on my bended elbow, slipping

29:08

off and falling face down

29:10

onto the mattress. She

29:12

suddenly stopped crying and started

29:15

to quietly giggle. The

29:17

more she giggled, the harder I

29:19

tried to make her. It

29:22

made us both feel better. It

29:24

always did. The

29:28

preceding scenario happened frequently

29:30

in Shai's childhood. Not

29:33

only does she remember being

29:35

raped by Stanley and his

29:37

accomplice, but she remembers

29:39

being savagely beaten in the

29:42

nude in the loft. He

29:45

whipped her with his belt on

29:47

the backside and legs. It

29:49

happened all over the house, but he was

29:51

most fond of beating her in the loft.

29:54

If she resisted going to the loft,

29:56

the beatings would only be prolonged,

29:59

and escalate in aggression and

30:02

brutality. He had

30:04

a vindictive streak in him. He

30:07

would tell her that if she resisted

30:09

being beaten about the buttocks, he

30:12

would be forced to attack the rest

30:14

of her body. Either

30:17

way, torture was guaranteed

30:19

in the House of Claridge.

30:25

The House's appearance was dingy

30:27

and aesthetically bereft. Its

30:30

domestic culture was morally

30:32

squalid, sleazy, and

30:35

unsavory. She once

30:37

walked in on Stanley

30:39

as his dark-haired lackey

30:41

performed fellatio on him.

30:43

The dark-haired beast shot her

30:46

the evil eye. If

30:48

he had been a Star Wars

30:50

character, the irises of his eyes

30:52

would have been yellow. Pure,

30:55

concentrated, unminigated

30:58

evil was embodied in

31:00

both men, and there

31:02

they were, exchanging

31:05

bodily fluids as if feeding

31:07

on each other's life forces.

31:13

Unfortunately, the stink-eye didn't represent

31:15

the be-all and end-all of

31:17

abuse the dark-haired one had

31:19

in store for Karen. As

31:23

shy recalls, the

31:25

dark-haired face caught me alone

31:27

and took me to play at the bottom

31:29

of the garden. He

31:32

took me into the shed and closed

31:34

the door. Suddenly, he

31:36

pushed me against the shed wall and

31:39

roughly grabbed my hands above my

31:41

head, lifting me so

31:43

that my feet couldn't feel the floor.

31:47

Then he used his pee-thing to

31:49

make the pain in my bottom and

31:52

stomach start all over

31:54

again. The blue and white

31:56

flashing lights returned. He

31:58

seemed angry at me. for

32:01

seeing him with shiny head

32:03

and started calling me names

32:05

like Dirty Girl and Little

32:07

Tarte. After that,

32:09

he took me to the shed a lot,

32:12

and every time he did, he made

32:14

me feel like I wanted to

32:16

poo. One time I

32:18

pooed on him by accident, and

32:21

he punched me in my bottom till

32:23

I screamed out for Mum. She

32:26

didn't come. She

32:28

was often out, or maybe she

32:30

just couldn't hear me, but he

32:33

stopped when I wouldn't stop screaming

32:35

and let me run into the house. I

32:38

didn't understand what was happening to me. I

32:41

didn't even have a name for

32:43

it besides horrible and

32:45

pain. I just knew

32:47

I wanted it to stop. Jennifer

32:52

was more than happy to upload

32:54

the responsibility for the care of

32:56

her children to Stanley and his

32:58

Sith apprentice. As

33:00

Chi put it, my mother

33:02

had always been an absent parent,

33:05

but when we moved into shiny head's house,

33:08

her appearances became less and

33:10

less frequent. I soon

33:12

realized that it was pointless to call

33:14

out for my mother when the faces

33:16

hurt me. It achieved

33:19

nothing. No matter how hard I

33:21

cried or screamed, she

33:23

never once came. So,

33:29

Stanley and his toady raped and

33:32

beat little Karen. Her

33:34

stepsister, Roma, didn't do any

33:36

of the same, but she

33:38

did verbally abuse her, calling

33:40

her things like smelly and

33:42

stupid. She told Karen

33:44

that nobody loved her, especially

33:47

not her. Karen and

33:49

Roma had never even been formally

33:51

introduced. Roma was an

33:54

animated part of the scenery and,

33:57

from a psychological standpoint, and

33:59

I eyesore. She

34:02

was convinced that Karen and Denise

34:04

were there to steal her father.

34:07

If only they had told her they never

34:09

wanted him in the first place. Speaking

34:13

of Roma, she found other ways

34:15

to make Karen and Denise miserable.

34:18

She was forced to do all the

34:20

cooking, and her culinary

34:22

efforts kept the antacid

34:24

industry in business. She

34:27

was forced to babysit the girls constantly,

34:30

beginning at the age of 10, when

34:32

they moved in. If

34:35

she ever complained, Jennifer would beat

34:37

her viciously and then order a

34:39

hit on her when Stanley got

34:41

home. Roma had

34:43

been her father's little princess,

34:46

until Karen and Denise moved in. Karen

34:49

didn't like being Stanley's favorite because

34:52

that meant being raped, but

34:54

it wasn't something she could address when

34:56

she spoke to Roma. The

35:01

abuse became more frequent

35:03

and incremental in its

35:05

injuriousness. To quote Shai,

35:09

By the time I was five in

35:11

1968, there seemed

35:14

to be more and more faces making

35:16

the pain and the horrible

35:18

happen. There was a new

35:20

dark haired face, hairy face,

35:23

stinky face, angry

35:25

face, red face,

35:27

pain face, big

35:29

head face, and spitty face.

35:33

Some would have the machine that

35:35

made the strange clicking sound when

35:37

the light flashed. I

35:40

was sure I once heard

35:42

Shinyhead call it a paranoid

35:44

camera. They would never

35:46

let me see what the paranoid camera

35:48

did, but I never liked it, because

35:51

it made my eyes sting. Sometimes

35:53

I would see red stuff running between

35:56

my legs, or coming from my nose

35:58

when I touched it. It

36:00

made me scared. I didn't know

36:02

what it was. Eventually, I

36:04

came to understand that the red

36:06

stuff was blood. And

36:09

all I knew about blood was that

36:11

it was meant to stay on the

36:14

inside, or you die. I

36:17

hated what the faces were doing to me. It

36:20

hurt so much. I couldn't

36:22

physically stop them. I tried

36:24

struggling. I tried screaming.

36:27

I tried to run away, but nothing

36:29

I knew of worked. Once

36:31

I'd tried all that, I would

36:33

just close my eyes and cry. But

36:36

even that didn't help. It just

36:38

made some of the faces angrier. Some

36:41

would just smack me silent. Others

36:44

would tell me to stop crying, open

36:47

my eyes, and look at the paranoid

36:49

camera, yelling at me for

36:51

spoiling their pictures. Others

36:54

would want me to look at them, but

36:56

I didn't want to see their faces, or

36:59

what they were doing. So I

37:01

learnt to keep my eyes wide

37:03

open and not cry, but

37:05

blur them out. I

37:08

learnt to stay as still

37:10

as I could and just pray for it

37:12

to be over soon. After

37:14

a while, though, even staying

37:17

still and quiet with my eyes open

37:19

didn't help. I realized it

37:21

just made some of the faces think

37:23

that I liked or wanted what they

37:26

were doing, and then

37:28

it seemed like it went on forever. Saying

37:31

no, complaining, holding my

37:34

breath, fake sleeping or

37:36

unconsciousness also seemed

37:38

to make them think I liked or

37:40

wanted it more. It

37:42

was so confusing. They would constantly be

37:44

telling me that I liked what they

37:47

were doing and that I wanted it

37:50

when I was absolutely sure

37:52

that I didn't. I

37:54

remember sitting in my room thinking, why do

37:57

they keep asking me if I like it?

38:00

And I tell them all the time that I

38:02

don't. I say

38:04

no, but they just say yes, I

38:06

do. They swear it's

38:08

my fault and that I'm

38:10

making them do this to me. Am

38:13

I making them do it? I'd

38:15

curl up into a ball on the floor, under

38:17

the bed, and rack my

38:20

brains. I'd spend hours trying

38:22

to figure out how I made them do

38:24

it so I could just make them

38:26

stop. One morning, I was

38:29

hiding in one of the tiny back

38:31

bedrooms when Shiny Head came in with

38:34

a dark-haired face, sat

38:36

me up in the bed, and took

38:38

off my clothes. Shiny

38:41

Head then grabbed hold of my head

38:43

and put his pee thing in my mouth. He

38:46

pushed it in and out of my mouth

38:49

so hard that I started to gag. He

38:52

stopped after a while and put my

38:54

hand around his pee thing. Next,

38:57

he put his hand around mine, squeezing

39:00

it really hard and jiggling it up

39:02

and down. The dark-haired

39:04

face then grabbed my head and some

39:07

of my hair and started to try

39:09

to put his pee thing in my

39:11

mouth. I started to cry

39:13

and squeezed my lips together

39:15

tight. This made

39:18

him pinch my face until I cried

39:20

out loud. He demanded

39:22

that I open my mouth properly. Shiny

39:25

Head said it would be over quicker if

39:28

I just did as I was told. So

39:31

I opened my mouth and the

39:33

dark-haired face pushed his pee thing into

39:35

it. He pushed it

39:37

so hard and so suddenly that

39:40

I threw up a bit and

39:42

couldn't stop crying no matter how

39:44

much I tried. He

39:46

was hurting me, but he didn't

39:49

stop till he squirted hot liquid

39:51

all over me. It

39:53

tasted horrible and I started

39:55

vomiting in earnest as

39:58

I was bent over choking and

40:00

retching, shiny head was

40:02

grumbling at me for spoiling it,

40:05

but was still jiggling my hand. Then

40:08

he squirted his hot liquid all over

40:10

the back of my head and shoulders

40:12

as I was throwing up. When

40:14

it was over, I grabbed my

40:17

clothes, rushed downstairs to

40:19

the toilet, and carried

40:21

on retching and throwing up nothing

40:24

for ages. My

40:26

mouth felt dirty and I washed it

40:28

out over and over. My

40:31

neck and face were throbbing and

40:34

my jaw was visibly bruised. I

40:37

sank down onto the floor. No

40:39

tears came this time. I

40:42

was too shocked to cry as

40:44

I literally sat there for hours. I

40:48

had a bruise on my face and

40:50

my whip was split, and later, when

40:52

I winced at the salty food Roma

40:54

had just given us, she

40:57

just shrugged and said, not

40:59

to worry, it'll be a pig's

41:01

foot in the morning. Heron

41:05

awaited the morning with dread and

41:07

nausea. The

41:10

abuse was far from over, as Shai tells

41:13

it. Over the

41:15

following months, things went from

41:17

bad to worse. The

41:19

faces came to me more often, making

41:22

me do more and more terrible things.

41:26

Every time they lay on top of me

41:28

and make me do the horrible, it

41:30

made me soar all over again. Afterwards,

41:34

pee and poo would just come

41:36

out of me whenever it wanted

41:38

to. When I was walking,

41:41

getting up or bending,

41:43

and it would make me feel

41:45

bad because I was being dirty, just

41:47

like the faces told me I was.

41:50

Sometimes after the horrible, Blood

41:53

would come out as well as pee

41:55

and poo, which frightened me and made

41:57

me cry even more, but shiny had.

42:00

Would get angry. Insane. Fucking dirty

42:02

tart. It's your own fault for

42:04

moving about too much and not

42:07

helping when I'm in the fucking

42:09

mood. Just. Shut up

42:11

and get on with it. If you

42:14

just kept still and listen to what

42:16

you're being told, than things wouldn't get

42:18

like that would they would have. You

42:20

gotta make a fuss for making everyone

42:23

do it the fucking hard way. You

42:25

bring it on yourself, don't you. One

42:29

time I remember crying and

42:31

resisting because I didn't want

42:33

to put Harry Thesis P

42:35

thing in my mouth. It

42:37

smelt, bad taste in bed

42:39

and heads ruff, bits of

42:41

skins stuck on it. He

42:44

was making me gag and I

42:46

was trying not to do it

42:48

but Shiny had took hold of

42:50

my head and made me do

42:52

it properly. My mouth and neck

42:54

were sore for ages after from

42:56

where he did squeezed me. But

42:58

as Shiny has said, it was

43:01

me making this happen I was

43:03

making the saddened me so much

43:05

that I can't remember a time

43:07

when I wasn't sore in my

43:09

pee and poo places or times

43:11

when my body didn't hurt. Somewhere.

43:15

I was getting really frightened because

43:17

small ruff tags of Skyn we're

43:19

now growing on my hands and

43:22

in my mouth. Once

43:24

when roma caught me inspecting

43:26

the inside of my mouth

43:28

in the mirror, she told

43:30

me their baby pigs seat

43:32

waiting to grow up. I

43:35

completely freaked out and spend weeks trying

43:37

to rub those things off me. Shy.

43:44

Witnessed similar abuse happened to

43:47

the other girls. She caught

43:49

Stanley's dark haired friends raping

43:51

Roma. Stanley appeared

43:53

behind care and as she

43:56

watched in horror. She

43:58

noted that he was more. The

44:00

deleted then horrified by the

44:02

fact that his friend was

44:04

defiling his daughter. Stanley

44:07

then forced Karen to give him

44:09

a hand job. Care

44:11

ran to the bathroom immediately

44:14

afterwards and scrubbed your hands

44:16

and mouth wrong for hours.

44:19

The horror that occurred in

44:22

this household was no east

44:24

rooted in sexual abuse. As

44:27

shy recalled, The tap

44:29

we all used only gave cold

44:32

water at first. Then. It

44:34

got hotter and hotter until

44:36

it was unbearable. So I

44:38

asked Roma for some cooler

44:40

water to rinse out my

44:42

mouth. She. Didn't know why

44:44

I wanted to rinse out my

44:46

mouth. She picked up the kettle

44:48

and poured what she thought was

44:50

cold water into my mouth. I

44:53

screamed in agony as the skin

44:55

peeled off my chin, neck, and

44:57

arm. Roma was mortified

44:59

and screamed and terrified. Horror

45:01

My house of pain brought

45:03

shiny head and Jennifer rushing

45:05

to the kitchen. What the

45:07

fuck is going on He

45:09

roared. I was on

45:11

the floor and shocked pain and Roma

45:14

was screaming the she thought the water

45:16

was cold. The fact was,

45:18

the kettle always sat there with cold

45:21

water in it and we all often

45:23

drank from it. Roma.

45:25

Really didn't do it on purpose, but

45:27

Jennifer beat her as though she had.

45:30

She grabbed Romas hair and pulled

45:32

it out in bleeding clumps. I

45:35

tried to tell mom but I

45:37

couldn't speak. I. Never got

45:39

the feeling that mom or Shiny

45:41

Head state any as is to

45:43

protect me. They seemed more angry

45:45

that we were taking up their

45:47

time. Caring

45:50

was taken to the hospital or

45:52

rare occurrence while she was growing

45:54

up. Well

45:56

cure was healing from the

45:58

cuts and burns. Stanley

46:00

in his accomplices continued to

46:03

rape her throughout the process,

46:05

piling trauma on top of

46:07

trauma. A

46:12

traumatic upbringing can lead to

46:14

internal physical distress, which can

46:16

manifest as things like irritable

46:19

bowel syndrome and chronic bed

46:21

wetting. Karen began

46:23

wetting the bed regularly and she

46:26

was punished by being put in

46:28

a tin bath tub. Whether the

46:30

water was scolding, really hot or

46:33

icy cold summer for Skyn would

46:35

be torn off on the sides.

46:37

Stanley would soap up his hands

46:40

and violate her clean, scrubbing her

46:42

all over including an invasive said

46:44

no and anal digging. He would

46:47

sometimes play it off like he

46:49

was an accident, but eventually he

46:51

would without. His penis and

46:53

maker suck or jerk him

46:56

off, and that was, of

46:58

course, entirely intentional. And

47:01

naturally it didn't help to complain

47:03

because he could and would make

47:05

it worse. Subsequently,

47:08

her sister was dragged into it,

47:11

and this Karen could not abide

47:13

to quote shy. One

47:15

night I was in the tub

47:17

with my sister behind me and

47:19

I was facing the other way.

47:21

Shiny head was washing out my

47:23

poop place with his fingers when

47:25

I heard my sister crying. I

47:27

wriggled away from his fingers and

47:29

turned round to see him trying

47:31

to make her suck his p.

47:35

I was horrified I remember

47:37

thinking, "Please, good offer you're

47:39

hurting her, how can I

47:41

stop him what do I

47:43

do please don't make her?"

47:46

Please. Stop it. She.

47:48

Doesn't want to. I

47:51

stepped towards shiny had moved her

47:53

away and started giggling is piecing

47:55

and putting it in my mouth.

47:58

All by myself. She

48:00

went upstairs. I stayed for

48:02

a long time making everything

48:04

sore. When shiny head was

48:07

finished, he smiled at me. It

48:09

was the first time he had

48:11

ever seen really pleased with me.

48:13

after the horrible he said I

48:15

did good at that. If I

48:17

did it as nice as that

48:19

again, I could have a new

48:22

darling. That. Was as big as

48:24

me. I didn't really

48:26

want to darling. I just wanted

48:28

to see my sister so I

48:30

thanked him and ran upstairs to

48:32

find her. Down

48:37

and in he still could not

48:39

find comfort and empathy in their

48:41

mother. As Shy recounted. We

48:44

always wanted mum. The. Mom

48:47

wasn't around. We never questioned

48:49

why or did more than

48:51

wonder where she was. Even

48:54

when she was home, she didn't speak

48:56

to me anyway. Most of the time

48:58

she would say she didn't hear me

49:01

or couldn't understand me. Mum didn't like

49:03

me to talk to her or touch

49:05

her. When I tried to talk to

49:07

her, she couldn't really hear me. I

49:10

remember trying to climb up on

49:12

to her lap for a hug

49:14

or she'd always push me away.

49:17

Or not the hugging kind she'd

49:19

say. As she moved me away.

49:22

One time when she said this to

49:24

me, I remember thinking. But. She

49:26

hugs everyone else. And she

49:28

can hear them when they talk to her. I

49:31

decided to see if talking really

49:33

wowed to her would work any

49:36

better. She suddenly got very angry

49:38

with me and hit me on

49:40

the side of the head with

49:42

their shoe until blood started to

49:44

trickled from my ear, down my

49:46

neck. When she saw I was

49:48

bleeding she got scared and told

49:50

me in an urgent voice. You.

49:54

Must have been your ear when you

49:56

fell down just then. I

49:58

looked up at her. Not. understanding.

50:02

She said even more frantically. It

50:04

was an accident, wasn't it? I

50:07

knew that wasn't true, but I

50:09

didn't want to make her angrier,

50:11

so I agreed. And she

50:14

calmed down. Care

50:18

was taken to a doctor for

50:20

a second time. He had many

50:22

questions for Jennifer. He

50:25

wanted to know why Karen rocked

50:27

back and forth compulsively. He

50:30

wanted to know why she spoke in

50:32

a monotone voice. He

50:34

wanted to know why she wasn't in

50:36

school. He want

50:38

to know why she had never

50:40

been to school. He

50:43

wanted to know why she had

50:45

a bruise on her ear. Normal

50:51

see was integrated into the

50:53

lives of the three girls.

50:56

They were eating more. They

50:58

acquired more clothing. They weren't

51:00

beaten as much since the

51:02

telltale signs like bruises and

51:05

scars would likely attract the

51:07

attention of social workers and

51:09

other mandated reporters. School

51:12

was a much needed a haven

51:14

for Karen. She wasn't beaten and

51:17

raped by the adults at school.

51:19

Despite all that, she was frequently

51:21

sent home because she was always

51:23

waiting herself. Late

51:28

in the Claridge house was chaotic.

51:30

There was no set routine except

51:32

when the girls went to school.

51:34

The only thing that Karen could

51:36

count on was was she referred

51:39

to as the horrible. If

51:41

one of them targeted her sister, she

51:43

would move Denise out of the way

51:45

and take the hit for her. She

51:48

couldn't bear to hear her cry. Stanley

51:54

had relatives that took a liking

51:56

to care and and her sister.

51:58

they treated her. Well, and

52:00

she enjoyed having them over.

52:03

Aside from Roma, Karen and

52:05

Denise were the closest they

52:07

had grandchildren. Her stepparent donor

52:09

even proposed the idea of

52:11

carrying spending a weekend with

52:13

them at their house. Stanley

52:16

didn't like this idea. It's

52:18

pure speculation, but perhaps he

52:20

was nervous. Karen with reports

52:22

all the abuse and neglect

52:24

she suffered under his roof.

52:28

The night donor and her husband

52:30

ten offered to take care and

52:32

for the weekend Stanley came into

52:34

Karen's room to be serviced. Karen

52:37

made a pitch for his consent

52:39

to enter go to Donna and

52:42

Tens place to quote shy. That

52:45

night when I was in my

52:47

bed and Stanley came in for

52:49

his jiggle, I was still fantasizing

52:51

about how wonderful it would be

52:54

to spend a whole weekend was

52:56

And pat Uncle Ten and Donor

52:58

Stanley lifted the sheets and I

53:00

felt the match for his seat

53:03

down. I didn't

53:05

want to jiggle and

53:07

kept resisting. Eventually, Stanley

53:09

whispered gruffly. What's.

53:12

Up with you. I crossed

53:14

my fingers for good luck and asked

53:16

him can I go and stay with

53:18

and pat. Stanley. Said

53:20

what do you want to go there

53:22

for? Because I love

53:24

them. I could see

53:27

in the half light of the bedroom

53:29

the stanley looked a bit worried. Then

53:32

he explained. We. Don't Love

53:34

You. I. Love you. And

53:36

I love you the way you want me to.

53:39

I didn't understand what he meant so

53:42

I asked him. Remember

53:44

that time when you sucked me

53:46

in the tin Bass all by

53:48

yourself? I nodded, hoping he

53:50

could see me in the dim light.

53:53

He said, well, I never asked

53:55

you to do that did I.

53:58

you wanted to do it So

54:00

you chose the way all by yourself." Then

54:04

his voice got very low and

54:06

serious as he added, "'What

54:09

you do to me is between you and

54:11

me. What you do

54:13

with the others is not of my business,

54:15

is it? I won't tell if

54:17

you won't. I'm only doing what you

54:19

like. And if you tell other

54:21

people, they won't understand you like

54:23

I do. They will

54:26

call you a dirty girl and lock

54:28

you away. Do you want

54:30

that? Do you want them

54:32

to call you a dirty girl? Do

54:34

you want them to take you away for

54:36

being dirty?' The

54:39

thought terrified me. I

54:41

had visions of prison cells and

54:43

being far away from my sister.

54:46

I shook my head firmly and said, no."

54:50

Then his voice got a bit nicer as he

54:52

said, "'What we do is

54:54

our secret. I'll help

54:56

make sure that no one ever finds

54:59

out what you're really like. And

55:01

make sure no one takes you away

55:03

for it. I'm your dad. I'll

55:06

protect you. And I'll

55:08

think about Pat and Ken.'" One

55:13

day Karen decided to tell her mother

55:15

about what Stanley was doing to her

55:18

in hopes that she would intervene on her

55:20

behalf. As shy tells it,

55:23

I stood by her bed and even

55:25

though I was really scared, I blurted

55:28

out, I have a secret. This

55:31

made her turn towards me. She

55:34

said slowly, What do

55:36

you mean? I took

55:38

a deep breath and repeated, Mom,

55:42

I have a secret. She

55:44

looked at me funnily with

55:46

her head sort of on one

55:48

side and her eyes went

55:50

a bit narrow. Then

55:52

she said, What secret?

55:56

I said, I wasn't allowed to say. She

55:59

said, I had... To tell her. I

56:03

suck. Dad's piecing nj go

56:05

it. Her

56:08

face changed. She looked straight

56:10

at me and said in

56:12

a quiet low voice I

56:14

had never heard before. Say

56:17

that again. I

56:20

started to cry because I was saying

56:22

the words out loud, but she just

56:24

couldn't seem to here with me. She.

56:28

Looked angrier than I had ever seen

56:30

her before. She pushed back

56:32

the bed covers and sat on the edge

56:35

of the bed. I

56:37

was getting very frightened. So

56:39

I closed my eyes and waited

56:41

for the bright lights in pain

56:43

to start. With my

56:45

eyes closed I stood in

56:47

weighted by nothing happened. No

56:50

lights. No pain,

56:53

just silence. Then

56:55

I sold her Shake Me and she

56:58

said. Loudly Now.

57:01

Say it again. I

57:04

opened my eyes and said. He

57:06

makes me giggle and suck his piecing.

57:10

What does jiggle mean? I

57:13

didn't have the words so I moved my

57:15

hand to show her. As

57:17

she just went mad. She

57:20

flew off the bed, grabbed

57:22

me and we were downstairs

57:24

and the moment she screamed

57:26

for Roma who ran the

57:28

in from outside. Mom

57:30

told her to stay there with me

57:32

in the back living room. Then

57:35

ran out of the house roma

57:37

started saying what have you done

57:40

What has he said? Why is

57:42

your mother angry at me. I

57:45

began to cry. Shut up Said

57:47

roma. Just tell me what you

57:49

told her. for

57:52

some reason and without ever

57:54

understanding why i stopped crying

57:56

and started laughing roma hit

57:58

the roof All I could think

58:00

was, how can I shut up and

58:02

tell you something at the same time? Roma

58:05

looked scared, though, so

58:07

I stopped laughing and tried to listen to what

58:10

she was saying. But she

58:12

was shouting so fast that I couldn't make

58:14

out the words. Eventually

58:17

Mum came roaring back into the house. Mum

58:20

made us all stand in a row in

58:22

front of the living room, fire. We

58:25

were facing her and she paced up and down

58:27

in front of us. What's

58:30

been going on? Mum said, looking

58:32

at each of us in turn. We

58:35

were trying not to cry, but we were

58:37

getting more scared. We

58:40

looked at each other and we knew what

58:42

she meant, but we didn't

58:44

know all the words and we were

58:46

just too scared to say anything anyway.

58:49

Denise sat down on the floor,

58:52

sobbing, and I knelt down

58:54

to help her. Suddenly

58:56

Stanley stormed into the room. Denise

59:00

went quiet and I stood

59:02

up to get ready for the pain and bright

59:04

lights. He was

59:06

wild-eyed and his face was all

59:08

white and angry looking. Why

59:11

the hell have I been called home

59:14

from work in the middle of the

59:16

fucking day? He snarled. Nobody

59:19

answered. Denise stood

59:21

up again. We

59:23

didn't know where to look. Everyone

59:25

seemed so cross. When

59:29

Mum said to Stanley, our

59:31

Karen says, you've been making

59:34

them jiggle and suck

59:36

your pee thing. Then

59:39

she made a motion with her hand. Stanley

59:42

roared. What the fuck is

59:44

going on here? What's fucking

59:47

being said? I'm hardly ever

59:49

here, so how can I do anything?

59:52

She's a lying dirty bitch. How

59:54

can I do anything like that if I'm

59:57

hardly ever here? I

59:59

thought. I'm not talking about when

1:00:01

you're not here. I'm talking about

1:00:03

when you are." He

1:00:05

kept going on and they screamed at one

1:00:07

another for ages. As

1:00:10

we stood there, looking at the

1:00:12

ground and sneaking glances at each

1:00:14

other, Mums screamed, Why

1:00:17

would she say such a thing? Stanley

1:00:20

said, I don't fucking know.

1:00:22

She's your lying mongrel, not

1:00:24

mine. I felt

1:00:26

Denise standing next to me shaking

1:00:28

and we had both already wet

1:00:31

ourselves. Stanley

1:00:33

glared at them, then suddenly shouted,

1:00:36

fucking asked them then. Mum

1:00:38

turned to us and said, Well, is it

1:00:41

true? Is he

1:00:43

making you do those things? I

1:00:47

looked at Roma and Denise and

1:00:49

waited for someone to tell Mum all about

1:00:52

the horrible. I thought

1:00:54

that everything would change and

1:00:56

Mum would make him stop, but

1:00:59

they wouldn't meet my eye. They

1:01:02

were frightened and visibly shaking from head

1:01:04

to toe. Mum repeated

1:01:06

much more loudly now, Tell

1:01:09

me now, is he making

1:01:11

you do what Karen said? They

1:01:14

looked at each other and cried, No. So

1:01:19

nothing is happening. Mum asked,

1:01:21

her voice becoming shrill. Faces

1:01:25

turned toward the floor. They

1:01:27

stammered that they didn't know what I was

1:01:29

talking about. I felt

1:01:31

like a vice was gripping my chest. I

1:01:34

was so shocked that I couldn't make a

1:01:36

sound. Nobody

1:01:38

had hit me, but it felt like a

1:01:41

big hard kick in my chest. How

1:01:44

could they say that nothing was happening? Nobody

1:01:47

was pacing around now, triumphantly

1:01:50

screaming. See, I

1:01:52

told you so. It's her,

1:01:54

the dirty lime bitch. Someone's

1:01:57

been teaching her bad habits. It's

1:02:00

not fucking me. I

1:02:02

try and stop her if she starts on

1:02:04

me. I've got you. Why

1:02:07

would I want to do anything like that for? I

1:02:10

couldn't believe this was happening. I

1:02:12

felt like I was going to be sick. I

1:02:15

knew Roma didn't know what was happening

1:02:17

to us, as she was never there,

1:02:19

and I had never seen shiny head

1:02:21

do the horrible to her. So

1:02:24

I kind of understood why she had said no.

1:02:28

But even so, knowing everything

1:02:30

we knew, I was devastated

1:02:32

that Denise had not backed me up.

1:02:35

Then, suddenly, the bright lights

1:02:37

came, as Mum kicked me

1:02:39

across the living room. She

1:02:41

screamed at Stanley to take the others

1:02:44

upstairs. They all ran out of the

1:02:46

room. Mum rounded

1:02:48

in on me, her arms

1:02:50

and feet flailing. You're

1:02:52

fucking me up. You're nothing but

1:02:54

a dirty lying bitch. How

1:02:56

dare you try to still stand away

1:02:59

from me, you dirty bitch. You

1:03:01

needed to be taught a lesson. She

1:03:04

stripped my clothes off me and dragged

1:03:06

me sobbing across the living room floor

1:03:09

and into the kitchen. Tears

1:03:11

streamed down my face as she

1:03:14

yanked me by the arm across

1:03:16

the carpet, burning my legs. I'm

1:03:20

not lying, Mum. I'm not lying, I

1:03:22

screamed. Mum spin

1:03:24

around and shouted, I'm

1:03:26

going to wash that filthy mouth of yours

1:03:28

out. She grabbed me by

1:03:30

the neck, pried my lips apart,

1:03:32

and poured the stuff that Roma

1:03:35

used to wash the toilet down

1:03:37

my throat. It

1:03:39

stung and burnt my lips. My

1:03:42

tongue felt swollen and too large

1:03:44

for my mouth. I

1:03:47

screamed and pleaded with her to

1:03:49

stop. She said I

1:03:52

was a dirty girl and I needed to

1:03:54

be cleaned. Then she

1:03:56

washed my mouth out and my pee

1:03:58

in poo places. When

1:04:00

she'd finished, I lay lifeless on

1:04:03

the kitchen floor. Everything

1:04:05

felt burnt and red raw.

1:04:09

Mom was still screaming at me, If you ever

1:04:11

speak a word to me again, it will

1:04:13

be your fucking last. Then

1:04:16

she grabbed my hair and thrust her

1:04:18

face into mine. You

1:04:20

must never ever talk about

1:04:22

any of this to anyone ever again.

1:04:24

Do you hear me? Still

1:04:27

lying on the floor, I whimpered.

1:04:29

Okay, please stop now. I won't

1:04:31

tell. You're

1:04:33

still talking. I told you not to talk,

1:04:36

she screamed. Whack! She

1:04:39

hit me hard across the cheek. Stop,

1:04:41

please, Mom, stop, I cried out

1:04:43

in pain. Clutching

1:04:45

my swollen face. Whack! I

1:04:48

yelped, unable to stop myself

1:04:50

from crying out. Mom

1:04:53

hit me until I fell asleep. I'm

1:04:55

not sure how long I was asleep. It

1:04:58

could have been hours or days. But

1:05:01

when I woke up, everything had

1:05:03

changed again. Roma

1:05:05

and Denise had gone to stay with

1:05:07

relatives. Mom was nowhere to

1:05:10

be seen and I was all alone

1:05:12

with Stanley. That night,

1:05:14

when I went to bed, I heard

1:05:16

the door creak open. A

1:05:18

shaft of light fell across the floor.

1:05:22

Stanley whispered, are

1:05:24

you awake? I

1:05:26

didn't answer. It didn't

1:05:29

matter if I was or not. Hi

1:05:33

listeners, I'm Vanessa Richardson, host of

1:05:35

the podcast Serial Killers. Like

1:05:37

many of you, I'm fascinated by the

1:05:39

darker side of humanity. What

1:05:42

causes someone to develop such deadly desires

1:05:44

and why they decide to act on

1:05:46

them? For the past six

1:05:48

years, I've been able to explore

1:05:50

these curiosities weekly, tapping into the

1:05:52

mental states of the world's

1:05:54

most notorious killers, examining their

1:05:57

backgrounds and habits, searching

1:05:59

for evidence. answers. If

1:06:01

you haven't had a chance to check

1:06:03

out our show, there's truly no better

1:06:05

time to dive in. With hundreds of

1:06:07

episodes to binge and new ones released

1:06:09

weekly, Serial Killers is the perfect podcast

1:06:11

for any avid true crime fan. Follow

1:06:14

Serial Killers on Spotify or wherever

1:06:16

you listen to podcasts. No

1:06:23

matter how far you run from them, childhood tragedies have a

1:06:25

way of catching back up with you. So

1:06:27

is true of elite scuba diver Veronica West,

1:06:29

who is about to encounter something unexplainable at

1:06:31

the bottom of the ocean, something that will

1:06:33

draw her back to her home on Sinclair

1:06:35

Island, Maine. There, she'll lead a dangerous rescue

1:06:37

mission to the bottom of the Veyafundi, home

1:06:40

of the world's largest tides, and

1:06:42

something horrific down in the depths. Listen

1:06:44

to Narcosis, the latest horror fiction show

1:06:47

on Realm's premiere horror channel, Undertow. Narcosis

1:06:50

is available now. Search for

1:06:52

Undertow or Narcosis, wherever podcasts are

1:06:54

served. New

1:07:00

England is known for its charming

1:07:03

towns, comforting foods, and of course

1:07:05

its historical contributions, but the

1:07:07

down east region can have a dark side.

1:07:10

I'm investigative journalist Kylie Lowe, and on

1:07:13

my weekly podcast, Dark Down East, I

1:07:15

dig into both decades old and modern

1:07:17

day cases from my home state of

1:07:19

Maine and the greater New England area.

1:07:21

In each episode of

1:07:24

Dark Down East, I seek insight from

1:07:26

law enforcement officials, family members, and other

1:07:28

loved ones who are both deeply familiar

1:07:30

with the cases and the individuals at

1:07:32

the heart of them. Join

1:07:35

me as I unveil intricacies of these

1:07:37

stories that are often overlooked, honor

1:07:39

the grit of those searching for justice, and

1:07:41

shine a light on cases that you aren't

1:07:44

hearing on other podcasts. Listen

1:07:46

to Dark Down East now, wherever you're

1:07:48

listening. Karen

1:07:56

was left to heal in silence and

1:07:58

isolation. She didn't go to to school.

1:08:01

Nobody helped mend her injuries. She

1:08:03

was no longer allowed to speak to her sister.

1:08:07

Stanley now had carte blanche to do

1:08:09

whatever he wanted to Karen, and

1:08:12

nobody would do anything about it. The

1:08:14

only silver linings were that she didn't

1:08:16

see Stanley's friends for a time, and

1:08:19

she didn't have to eat Roma's food. Her

1:08:23

mother wouldn't speak to her. She

1:08:25

would only communicate with Karen through

1:08:27

an intermediary. Her mother

1:08:29

was seldom at home anyway. She

1:08:32

was usually out stealing, shopping,

1:08:34

playing bingo, and making the rounds

1:08:37

with local men as the town

1:08:39

pump. The only time she

1:08:41

took her daughters out with her was

1:08:43

when she would enlist them as accomplices

1:08:45

in shoplifting. She would

1:08:48

hide stolen items in their clothing. Her

1:08:51

mother would put her in a baby

1:08:53

carriage at the age of five because

1:08:55

she could steal more merchandise that way.

1:09:01

One day Karen's father showed up in the

1:09:03

neighborhood. They had a loving

1:09:05

reunion. He asked her where she

1:09:07

was living with her mother. When

1:09:09

he went to Stanley's house, Jennifer beat

1:09:11

him until he was bleeding. She bragged

1:09:14

about it to Stanley afterwards. He

1:09:17

said that he would kill Frederick if

1:09:19

he ever darkened his door again. On

1:09:25

another occasion when Karen and Frederick

1:09:27

reunited, he explained why he

1:09:29

gave her the nickname, Shy. He

1:09:31

said it was because in every photograph

1:09:33

she posed for, she tilted

1:09:36

her head off to the side bashfully.

1:09:39

She had to sneak around to visit

1:09:41

with her father because she was afraid

1:09:43

that Stanley would literally kill him. Frederick

1:09:46

was still in love with Jennifer and

1:09:48

missed her to the point that he

1:09:50

would break down in tears. Once

1:09:53

when Stanley caught Frederick with Karen in

1:09:55

his car, Stanley beat him up

1:09:57

and sent Karen back to the house. Here

1:10:00

in wasn't beaten that night. Stanley came

1:10:02

in only to get a hand job.

1:10:09

Karen. Learn some hard lessons about

1:10:11

the deviant moral code of the

1:10:13

House of Claridge. I

1:10:15

had learned that when we shopped

1:10:17

with Mom it was called shopping,

1:10:20

but if we shopped on our

1:10:22

own, that was called stealing. Smack.

1:10:26

I learnt that when I got beaten

1:10:28

there was called a punishment but if

1:10:30

I hit back there was cold and

1:10:33

naughty. Smack. Smack.

1:10:36

I learned that when Mom and

1:10:38

Stanley told lies, stat was called

1:10:40

the truth. But if I told

1:10:42

a lie, that was bad. Smacked

1:10:45

smack smack. On

1:10:47

the say he said I could

1:10:49

lie in which case it wasn't

1:10:51

alive. it was a secret. Which.

1:10:54

If you tell you will

1:10:56

get smacked. Learning by smack

1:10:58

was hard and confusing but

1:11:00

it was the least of

1:11:03

our worries. Karen

1:11:07

hoped an anticipated their Frederick would

1:11:09

show up and liberate her and

1:11:12

Denise from the horrors of life.

1:11:14

And Stanley says the line at

1:11:16

the end of that long dark

1:11:19

tunnel closed like an iris. As

1:11:21

she explained. One.

1:11:23

Memory of this time stands out above all

1:11:26

the others. Indeed, it will stay with me

1:11:28

for the rest of my life. Stanley.

1:11:31

I kept me home from school

1:11:33

yet again. He was in the

1:11:35

sitting room with me, pestering me

1:11:37

to do the horrible. I've

1:11:39

got tummy ache I lied clutching

1:11:42

my stomach. Stop fucking

1:11:44

me about when I'm in the

1:11:46

mood. It's your tummy ache, not

1:11:48

mine. Anyway, I won't be long.

1:11:51

I shouted know and managed to

1:11:53

squirm free of his hands as

1:11:55

they pour that me. Stanley's

1:11:58

patients snapped. And I

1:12:00

saw sudden flash of real anger.

1:12:03

He grabbed me roughly in pinned

1:12:05

my arms down to the sofa,

1:12:08

His face looming above me. I

1:12:10

could smells breath. He. Was

1:12:12

bitter and rancid. When.

1:12:14

He spoke, I could see the

1:12:16

yellow stains on his teeth. He

1:12:18

said I'm your father and you

1:12:20

will do what I tell you

1:12:22

to. Before a good stop myself

1:12:24

I blurted out you're not my

1:12:26

father, My father is taking us

1:12:28

away from here. I told him

1:12:31

you know. Stanley.

1:12:33

Laughed and said he didn't give a

1:12:35

shit about all that and hurled me

1:12:37

off the sofa and across the room.

1:12:40

I didn't cry even though it

1:12:43

hurt. I stayed where I'd fallen,

1:12:45

knowing better than to try and

1:12:47

move. I watched as Stanley team

1:12:50

towards me. He knelt down and

1:12:52

snarled into my face, your father.

1:12:55

Your fucking father, Your father

1:12:57

and taken any one anywhere.

1:12:59

Your father's dead. I

1:13:02

froze. Fear coursing through my

1:13:04

body. I knew what did

1:13:06

meant I knew you were buried

1:13:08

in the ground and everyone who

1:13:11

loved you are miss You

1:13:13

couldn't see or talk to

1:13:15

you anymore. I was petrified.

1:13:17

I screamed know is not your

1:13:19

life You're lying. Still,

1:13:22

Laughed again. I'm telling you

1:13:24

you stupid cow, he's dead.

1:13:27

Than I did something I'd

1:13:30

never done before. I launched

1:13:32

myself at Stanley, started punching

1:13:34

his face and was screaming

1:13:36

no, no, no, Stanley

1:13:38

seemed startled at first but then

1:13:40

smacked me back and told me

1:13:43

to calm down, but I just

1:13:45

couldn't He finally slapped me hard

1:13:47

enough to stop me hitting him.

1:13:49

Stanley said look care and he

1:13:52

never fucking loved you Anyway, he

1:13:54

was nothing but trouble. He's dead

1:13:56

now by use. Still got me

1:13:58

and your mom. So

1:14:00

just calm yourself down. Fear

1:14:03

has given me courage. I looked

1:14:05

Stanley in the eye and said

1:14:07

in a cold low voice that

1:14:10

didn't sound like mine. You

1:14:12

killed him as the train station. He

1:14:15

said. Know. I fucked and

1:14:18

never. He died in a car

1:14:20

accident. He killed his fucking self.

1:14:23

I didn't know what to since I

1:14:26

just wanted Stanley to stop saying my

1:14:28

father was dead. As said,

1:14:31

I. Want and pat. I

1:14:33

knew that she'd tell me the

1:14:36

truth her and can have gone

1:14:38

abroad with the army so you

1:14:40

can forget about all that nonsense.

1:14:42

Or broad. I

1:14:45

repeated dumb moines. I

1:14:47

felt overwhelmed. I'd lost

1:14:49

everyone who could help me and

1:14:51

there was no one else to

1:14:53

turn to. Now I just sat

1:14:55

there and whimpered over and over.

1:14:57

My father's Not Dead. Tears

1:15:00

were streaming down my cheeks, but

1:15:03

I wasn't making a crying sound.

1:15:05

Stanley shrugged and said. I've

1:15:08

told you before. He's no

1:15:10

fucking good and you're better off

1:15:12

without him. And you're not to

1:15:14

talk to your mom about him

1:15:17

ever. Unless you want

1:15:19

the belt. Got it? I

1:15:21

just nodded. I. Had nothing more

1:15:23

to say about anything or anyone. Said.

1:15:26

No more words and no more

1:15:28

sounds to make. I just

1:15:30

wanted the world to stop. Mum

1:15:33

suddenly came into the room. I

1:15:35

looked street at her. But

1:15:38

she wouldn't look at me. She never

1:15:40

did. Then they started

1:15:42

arguing. She didn't seem upset that

1:15:45

my father was dead, just angry

1:15:47

at me for knowing about it.

1:15:49

I stayed sitting on the floor

1:15:52

in silence. Mom asked stanley, have

1:15:54

you told her he died in

1:15:56

a car accident in London. He

1:15:59

said. had, Mom glanced in

1:16:01

my direction. Why is she

1:16:04

just sitting there rocking? She

1:16:06

hit me when I told her about it, so

1:16:08

I had to calm her down with a little

1:16:10

smack. Mom replied,

1:16:13

well, remember to mind her

1:16:15

head. She paused,

1:16:17

then she said, it's

1:16:19

not normal this rocking. She's doing my

1:16:21

head in. Tell her

1:16:23

to stop it or go to her room. Stanley

1:16:27

said, yeah, she should

1:16:29

be crying, but you know what she's

1:16:31

like. Just ignore her. I

1:16:34

could barely hear them anymore. I

1:16:36

was locked in my own thoughts. Despair

1:16:38

rushed in on me as I realized

1:16:41

I was completely and utterly

1:16:44

alone. My father had

1:16:46

gone, Aunt Pat and

1:16:48

Uncle Ken had gone, and

1:16:50

my sister was drifting further and further away

1:16:53

from me. I had never

1:16:55

felt a loneliness quite so profound as

1:16:57

this. After a while,

1:16:59

I went upstairs to my room

1:17:01

and sat on my bed, rocking

1:17:04

silently and replaying

1:17:06

everything that had just gone on.

1:17:09

I kept turning over in my head

1:17:11

the words that he had said, that

1:17:13

I should be crying. I realized

1:17:16

then that he wanted me

1:17:18

to cry. It was

1:17:20

almost as if he liked

1:17:22

seeing me upset. This realization

1:17:24

stirred something new in me.

1:17:27

For the first time, I felt

1:17:29

defiance rise inside me,

1:17:32

an anger that I'd never experienced.

1:17:35

And in that moment, I

1:17:37

made myself a promise. I

1:17:40

would never cry for Stanley ever again.

1:17:48

1969, just months before the Manson Family murdered

1:17:50

all those people in cold blood, Jennifer

1:17:53

and Stanley announced to the kids

1:17:55

that they were getting married, and

1:17:58

Stanley would adopt the girl. rather

1:18:02

ominously, Stanley declared to

1:18:04

Karen, the day of the wedding,

1:18:07

I'm your real daddy now. He

1:18:10

followed up by raping her. Jennifer

1:18:16

favored Denise, dolling her up and

1:18:19

parading her around as if she

1:18:21

had won a child beauty pageant.

1:18:24

If Denise was caught playing with Karen, she

1:18:27

would be admonished for it. Karen

1:18:29

was ignored and abused by

1:18:32

Jennifer. Karen

1:18:37

experienced poor eyesight for years due

1:18:39

to all the blows that rained

1:18:42

down on her head by Jennifer

1:18:44

and Stanley. She also experienced some

1:18:46

hearing loss. The

1:18:49

eyesight cleared up eventually. Other

1:18:51

children at school thought she was stuck up

1:18:54

because she didn't address what they were saying

1:18:56

to her. After a while,

1:18:58

she was marginalized. Karen

1:19:04

believed what Stanley told her about how

1:19:06

she was dirty. She

1:19:08

was afraid that if she told

1:19:10

outsiders about the abuse, they too

1:19:13

would believe she was a dirty

1:19:15

person. So she kept it

1:19:17

to herself. Karen recalled

1:19:19

how her home was no haven.

1:19:23

Home was a dark, painful,

1:19:25

lonely place. I

1:19:27

was missing my father and wanted to

1:19:29

see him, to say sorry for killing

1:19:31

him, but I wasn't allowed

1:19:33

to talk about him. That was okay

1:19:36

though, because I was getting really

1:19:38

good at not talking about all kinds of

1:19:40

things. She

1:19:43

especially didn't allow herself to

1:19:45

cry. She didn't want

1:19:47

to give Stanley the satisfaction. Even

1:19:51

at the age of six, she could tell he

1:19:53

was a sadist. Karen

1:19:56

Kept her promise to herself to never

1:19:58

cry whenever she could. The family and put

1:20:01

it is tortures upon her. In

1:20:03

fact, she retreated into a

1:20:06

shell almost entirely. She became

1:20:08

belligerent and recalcitrant towards him.

1:20:11

He went ballistic beating her

1:20:13

black and blue and screaming

1:20:16

at her to call him

1:20:18

father or it's colloquial equivalent.

1:20:22

She called him shiny had

1:20:24

once accidentally it was a

1:20:26

slip but free of regret.

1:20:32

At one point Jennifer was called

1:20:34

the Care and School to be

1:20:37

asked about why care and was

1:20:39

so frequently absent. She

1:20:41

certainly wasn't going to tell school

1:20:43

officials that Karen was being kept

1:20:45

home from school so her stepfather

1:20:48

could beat and rape her. And

1:20:50

investigation must have been in the

1:20:52

works for Jennifer announced to Karen's

1:20:54

that they were going to move.

1:20:58

They moved to Mercy Side and

1:21:00

their new address was close to

1:21:03

that of Karen's and Pat development

1:21:05

tear. It was very excited about.

1:21:08

She was eight years old. The

1:21:14

abuse happened at the same

1:21:16

frequency, though there weren't as

1:21:18

many offenders at this point.

1:21:20

It was primarily Stanley and

1:21:22

occasionally a man named Ridge.

1:21:25

Jennifer still took care with her

1:21:27

when she shoplifted. Karen had become

1:21:30

a highly skilled cease and it

1:21:32

was the only way she could

1:21:35

win her mother's approval. Her mother

1:21:37

didn't express the approval in a

1:21:39

verbal or tactile way, she merely

1:21:42

just kept taking her along. Kind

1:21:44

of like how your boss express

1:21:47

his appreciation for your work by

1:21:49

not firing you. jennifer

1:21:54

moved the girls to another apartment

1:21:57

one that was in poor condition

1:21:59

of cold water flat with

1:22:01

an outhouse for a restroom.

1:22:04

It smelled foul and

1:22:06

its appearance was just as off-putting.

1:22:11

Karen began to weaponize silence

1:22:13

because she knew the adults

1:22:16

hated it, especially Stanley. To

1:22:19

quote Karen, silence

1:22:21

had become a defense mechanism.

1:22:24

Stanley could beat me black and blue

1:22:26

and he could do any horrible thing to me and

1:22:29

I could just lay or stay there, still

1:22:32

and quiet, till he was done. Sometimes

1:22:35

he used to hit me extra just to

1:22:37

see if he could make me cry. And

1:22:39

sometimes I nearly did. It

1:22:42

drove him up the wall when he couldn't get

1:22:44

me to but crying was the

1:22:46

one thing I could control, that

1:22:48

he could not. So, no

1:22:51

matter what he did, I would

1:22:53

save the tears for later when I was

1:22:55

on my own. Stanley

1:23:00

figured out that one way to

1:23:03

manipulate Karen was to threaten to

1:23:05

abuse Denise, as Shai

1:23:07

recounted. I was the

1:23:09

main focus of Stanley's horrible attention at this

1:23:11

point in time. He would ask

1:23:13

me to come over to him and I'd

1:23:16

have to do as he said. If

1:23:18

I refused, he would look

1:23:20

at me with his cold blue eyes

1:23:22

and say, where's our

1:23:24

Denise then, Karen? Even

1:23:27

writing those words sends a shiver through

1:23:29

me. He knew exactly how

1:23:31

to get me to do what he wanted. Looking

1:23:34

after my little sister was more

1:23:36

important to me than anything. And

1:23:38

he knew this about me and took full

1:23:41

advantage of it. I was

1:23:43

aware he was manipulating me at these times

1:23:46

but I felt powerless. So I

1:23:48

would just take a big breath and go to

1:23:50

him every time. We

1:23:52

knew without ever saying the words out

1:23:54

loud to each other that

1:23:57

we hated the horrible. We

1:23:59

didn't like it. it and we wished it wasn't

1:24:01

happening, but we had no idea how to

1:24:03

make it stop. Still,

1:24:07

he found other ways to strong arm

1:24:09

her into submitting to his abuse. As

1:24:12

Shy noted, as

1:24:14

I grew older, Stanley's twisted

1:24:16

mind managed to find even more

1:24:18

inventive ways to get me to

1:24:20

do the horrible. I

1:24:22

had to do it to get anything I wanted

1:24:25

or needed in life. To

1:24:27

eat, go to school, get

1:24:30

dressed, breathe in and

1:24:32

out. Everything any

1:24:34

normal child took for granted was

1:24:36

used against me as a means

1:24:38

to manipulate me into doing the

1:24:40

horrible. He used

1:24:42

it like a currency. Do

1:24:44

the horrible and you can play with your

1:24:46

sister. Do the horrible and you

1:24:49

can sleep. What was more,

1:24:51

the punishment for not doing it.

1:26:03

They moved yet again when

1:26:05

a new house became available on the other

1:26:07

side of town. It was

1:26:09

a council house with three bedrooms.

1:26:12

It was a family house and

1:26:15

they could only move in with three

1:26:17

children so Roma was pulled out of

1:26:19

boarding school. Karen

1:26:22

was dreading this. She didn't

1:26:24

want to move so far away from

1:26:26

Pat, Ken and Dona. Their

1:26:28

home had been her only solace. Now

1:26:32

there would be no place where

1:26:34

she could find relief from a

1:26:36

daily life that offered little more

1:26:38

than torture and neglect. It

1:26:45

occurred to Karen that her mother

1:26:47

didn't know about the sexual abuse. Stanley

1:26:50

never referred to it in Jennifer's

1:26:52

presence and he never initiated

1:26:54

it when she was home. Once

1:26:57

she was out of the house, he would

1:26:59

say something to the effect of, I'm

1:27:02

in the mood. He

1:27:05

did do it while she was home

1:27:07

but it generated so little noise that

1:27:09

it never attracted her attention. Considering

1:27:13

this, Karen came up with

1:27:15

the idea of making noise during the

1:27:17

act. This she

1:27:19

did but instead of alerting her mother to

1:27:21

what was going on, all

1:27:23

it accomplished was that

1:27:26

it misled Stanley into believing

1:27:28

that Karen was aroused by

1:27:30

the activity. This

1:27:32

excited him and subsequent

1:27:34

to that incident, he expected

1:27:36

more of that kind of

1:27:38

reaction and the

1:27:41

incidents of sexual abuse

1:27:43

were prolonged beyond their

1:27:45

previous parameters. They

1:27:47

also happened more often. It

1:27:50

led to him blaming her

1:27:53

more than ever for allegedly

1:27:55

tempting him because he deluded

1:27:57

himself into thinking she had

1:28:00

orgasms. Stanley

1:28:05

got hired to drive a lorry or

1:28:07

a delivery truck. Karen

1:28:09

Seldom went to school after that because

1:28:11

he was often taking her with him

1:28:14

in the truck. Of

1:28:16

course, she was not serving

1:28:18

a professional apprenticeship. He

1:28:20

would usually sexually abuse her in the

1:28:22

lorry. He raped her nearly every day.

1:28:25

He would even drop

1:28:27

her off at friends houses. Some

1:28:29

of them would go as far

1:28:31

as to take still photos or

1:28:33

videos of her, wherein she

1:28:35

would be raped by them, and it

1:28:38

would be visually documented. She

1:28:41

withdrew into herself more and more as

1:28:44

time went on. Stanley

1:28:49

got a thrill out of watching

1:28:51

other men rape Karen. As

1:28:54

noted by Shai, Stanley

1:28:56

got a sadistic pleasure out of

1:28:58

me doing the horrible with someone

1:29:00

else because it seemed to

1:29:03

prove to him that I was the

1:29:05

dirty one, which was always

1:29:07

his argument to make me do it

1:29:09

when I didn't want to, which

1:29:11

was always. Stanley told

1:29:13

me that I was a dirty girl and

1:29:16

that he was stopping me from

1:29:19

being caught for being naughty, dirty,

1:29:21

bad. He said he

1:29:23

was protecting me because he didn't want

1:29:25

social services to put me in care.

1:29:28

As a nine-year-old, I just accepted

1:29:30

this. I hated

1:29:33

this new stuff called Vaseline,

1:29:35

which Stanley secretly called

1:29:38

wet, as in put

1:29:40

some wet on it. I

1:29:43

hated being woken from my

1:29:45

sleep with him already hurting

1:29:47

my pee and poo places,

1:29:50

even with the wet. I

1:29:52

hated bath time, bedtime, getting

1:29:54

up time, daytime,

1:29:58

all the time, really. I

1:30:01

hated the night visits the most. with

1:32:00

wrath and before she

1:32:03

knew it she was punching and

1:32:05

slapping Stanley. She was

1:32:07

not normally a violent person but

1:32:09

even she had her limits. After

1:32:12

striking him she ejected from the lorry

1:32:14

and ran away. He tried

1:32:17

running after her but he was

1:32:19

a middle-aged smoker and could not

1:32:21

match her youthful energy. Karen

1:32:27

ran a long distance down a country

1:32:29

road. Just when she had

1:32:31

reached a point of freedom Stanley

1:32:33

jumped out from some bushes and beat

1:32:36

her black and blue. He claimed

1:32:38

he was beating her to teach

1:32:41

her a lesson to ensure her

1:32:43

safety or some shit. Stanley

1:32:48

and his friends weren't the

1:32:50

only sources of sexual abuse

1:32:52

in Karen's life. It seemed

1:32:54

that wherever she went that

1:32:56

kind of evil lurked. There

1:33:00

was a man named Steve in the

1:33:02

neighborhood who rewarded children with sweets

1:33:04

if they went to the store

1:33:06

and bought his newspapers for him.

1:33:10

It seemed perfectly innocent at first

1:33:13

but one day Karen got a

1:33:15

painful glimpse of this man's dark

1:33:17

side. She tells the

1:33:19

story best. One

1:33:21

time when I went to see Nanny Scott Steve

1:33:24

was standing in his doorway. As

1:33:27

I passed he asked me in. I

1:33:30

stepped inside all excited because I thought that

1:33:32

he was going to ask me to go

1:33:34

to the shop. Before I

1:33:36

knew what was happening though Steve

1:33:39

had grabbed me by the back of

1:33:41

the neck and pushed me

1:33:43

into his bedroom. His

1:33:45

hand felt like a vice taking

1:33:47

my breath away and I

1:33:49

yelped in pain. The

1:33:52

next thing I knew I was naked

1:33:55

face down on his bed and

1:33:58

squeezing my eyes shut height,

1:34:00

to block out the horror of what was happening

1:34:03

to me. He

1:34:05

hurt me for ages. I

1:34:07

didn't fight, even though he was

1:34:10

hurting me. I just

1:34:12

lay as still as I could, praying

1:34:14

to anyone who might be listening for

1:34:16

it to end. No

1:34:18

one was listening. I

1:34:21

lay there for an eternity until

1:34:23

he finally pushed himself off me

1:34:25

and wheezed. Who will

1:34:27

make us a cup of tea, will you? I

1:34:30

staggered to the kitchen, to who

1:34:33

stunned to speak, and

1:34:35

my hands trembled as I poured out

1:34:37

his tea. When I

1:34:39

returned, he grunted, Do you

1:34:42

want paper money or sweets? I

1:34:45

remember thinking I had never had

1:34:47

paper money. I remember

1:34:49

thinking I had never had paper money of

1:34:51

my own before, so I agreed to

1:34:54

take that. He smiled

1:34:56

like we were friends again. Now

1:34:59

don't go telling anyone about our

1:35:02

arrangements, will you? I

1:35:04

shook my head. Promise

1:35:07

me now? I

1:35:09

won't tell anyone. I'm used to

1:35:11

it, I said. This

1:35:13

seemed to please him even more. He

1:35:17

patted me on the bum with his bony

1:35:19

hand and told me to go. I

1:35:22

left and ran across to the toilet

1:35:24

at Nanny Scott's flat. By

1:35:27

this point in my life, I

1:35:29

was so used to the horrible

1:35:31

happening every time I met new

1:35:33

men that I simply accepted that

1:35:36

it was going to happen. I

1:35:38

didn't encourage it or initiate

1:35:40

it, but I did

1:35:43

always expect it. I

1:35:45

felt that I couldn't do anything to change

1:35:47

or alter it. I might as

1:35:49

well just accept it. It had

1:35:51

become something I thought all men would do

1:35:53

to me, and although

1:35:55

I knew that it didn't happen to

1:35:57

everyone, Dona never had to do the horrible

1:35:59

thing. I believed

1:36:01

that it would always happen to me. I

1:36:05

still hated it, but at least with

1:36:07

Steve, I was given sweets

1:36:09

or paper money. I thought

1:36:12

I was lucky, as with

1:36:14

Stanley, I didn't get anything. I

1:36:17

would take my sweets and rush

1:36:19

off to Lissau Beach to

1:36:21

recover and eat my sweets. Karen

1:36:24

got used to constituting herself for

1:36:27

Steve, and she didn't tell anyone

1:36:29

about what they were engaged in

1:36:31

at his house. One

1:36:36

day when Karen went to Steve's house,

1:36:38

she was horrified all over again by

1:36:40

what she saw. As

1:36:42

she tells it, I

1:36:44

went in and, to my horror,

1:36:47

saw that he was on the bed doing the

1:36:49

horrible to someone else. I couldn't

1:36:51

believe it. I thought I was the

1:36:53

only one he did that to. As

1:36:56

I edged closer, I realized

1:36:59

that he was on top of my baby sister.

1:37:02

I felt sick. Denise

1:37:05

was undressed, crying, and

1:37:08

had blood on her legs. I

1:37:10

went mental. I knew they knew each other,

1:37:13

but I did not even consider that

1:37:15

he would dare to hurt my baby

1:37:17

sister. And besides, I

1:37:19

had already done the horrible. The

1:37:21

realization that it was happening to my

1:37:24

little sister sent me into a blind

1:37:26

rage. Without a second

1:37:28

thought, I rushed to the

1:37:30

kitchen, picked up a big pan, and

1:37:32

flew back to the bedroom. Then,

1:37:36

with every single ounce of strength like

1:37:38

a muster, I smacked him right

1:37:40

across the head with it. He

1:37:42

was so shocked he didn't even try to

1:37:44

stop me as I pounded his head. A

1:37:47

word per smack. Get.

1:37:50

Smack. Off. Smack.

1:37:53

My. Smack. Sister.

1:37:57

Smack. I finally

1:37:59

hit him hard enough. to get him off my

1:38:01

sister and long enough to get us

1:38:03

out of there." On

1:38:07

the way home, Karen and Denise decided

1:38:09

they would tell their mother about what

1:38:12

happened to Denise. To

1:38:14

their surprise, their mother believed them

1:38:17

and flew into a rage. She

1:38:19

took them to a hospital. The

1:38:23

girls were examined by doctors

1:38:26

who inspected their genitalia for

1:38:28

evidence of sexual assault. Soon

1:38:30

police officers were questioning the girls.

1:38:34

This last point was confusing for

1:38:36

Karen because Stanley and Steve and

1:38:38

their ilk led her to

1:38:41

believe that such treatment was normal, acceptable,

1:38:44

and, in her case, well deserved.

1:38:48

For the first time in Karen's

1:38:50

life, she was told that the

1:38:52

kind of thing that Steve did

1:38:54

to her and Denise was called

1:38:57

child abuse. And

1:38:59

people went to prison for it. Karen

1:39:02

was informed that Steve was

1:39:04

put behind bars. Social

1:39:11

workers took an interest in the lives of

1:39:13

Karen and Denise and wanted to

1:39:15

know why they were not attending classes at

1:39:17

school. Now Stanley could

1:39:19

no longer take her on his rape

1:39:22

runs. Stanley

1:39:24

coached Karen so that she wouldn't

1:39:26

disclose the abuse. He

1:39:28

convinced her that she, too,

1:39:30

would be considered dirty and

1:39:33

immoral if the sexual abuse

1:39:35

was uncovered so she

1:39:37

didn't disclose the abuse during the interviews.

1:39:41

Police told Karen that adults were

1:39:43

not allowed to touch her sex

1:39:45

organs or in

1:39:47

any other sexual way. Stanley

1:39:50

insisted he had a special right

1:39:53

to do so because he was

1:39:55

her adoptive father. One

1:40:01

day a social worker visited their home. Before

1:40:04

meeting her, it occurred to Karen that

1:40:06

she could get Stanley and his abuse

1:40:08

out of her life simply

1:40:10

by telling the social worker what was going

1:40:12

on. The social

1:40:15

workers started with small talk,

1:40:17

like how Karen liked school,

1:40:20

that sort of thing. Karen

1:40:22

could hardly abide all that when

1:40:24

she had such important business to

1:40:26

deal with. So she came right out with

1:40:28

it. Stanley makes me

1:40:30

suck his penis. Both

1:40:33

Stanley and Mrs. Potter, the social worker,

1:40:36

were shocked. Mrs.

1:40:38

Potter said, Karen,

1:40:42

what did you just say? Mrs.

1:40:44

Potter turned to Stanley and said, Stanley,

1:40:48

is that true? Stanley

1:40:51

didn't voice his objection verbally,

1:40:53

not right away, anyway. He

1:40:56

shook his head. He sighed. He

1:40:59

stood and looked Mrs. Potter in

1:41:01

the eye. He said, It's

1:41:04

kind of true, but not the way she

1:41:06

says it. Mrs.

1:41:08

Potter said nothing to this as

1:41:11

she digested the intel. Stanley

1:41:14

continued, She keeps

1:41:16

pushing herself on to me, trying

1:41:18

to force me into letting her suck

1:41:21

me off. I've tried

1:41:23

to stop her, but didn't always

1:41:25

manage it. She nearly got

1:41:27

me a couple of times. He

1:41:30

said he would welcome her assistance in

1:41:33

dealing with Karen's insatiable

1:41:35

sexual appetite. Mrs.

1:41:38

Potter couldn't have been less helpful.

1:41:41

Karen, is it true? Have

1:41:44

you been trying to force yourself

1:41:46

on your father's privates with your

1:41:49

mouth? Her

1:41:51

tone changed. It was admonishing,

1:41:54

as if she believed Stanley, and

1:41:56

it appeared that she did. She

1:41:59

certainly wasn't fulfilling her own goals. her

1:42:01

role as a mandated reporter. Karen

1:42:04

said, no I haven't. He makes

1:42:06

me do it. He knows

1:42:08

he does. Mrs. Potter

1:42:10

said, that's not what your

1:42:12

father tells us. He's

1:42:14

not my father. Stanley said,

1:42:17

that's what she always says. She's

1:42:19

just saying this to punish me.

1:42:22

She just hates me because I'm not

1:42:24

her real father. Her real father tried

1:42:27

to kill her. Then he

1:42:29

killed himself, gassed his

1:42:31

self to death in a car

1:42:33

a few years back. Fun

1:42:36

fact, Frederick did neither

1:42:38

of those things. Stanley

1:42:41

had more psychobabble for Mrs.

1:42:44

Potter. The only one

1:42:46

who abused her was him, that

1:42:48

nutter father of hers. And

1:42:51

she's just blaming me for it because

1:42:53

she doesn't like me. Mrs. Wahlbridge,

1:42:55

she's a friend of the family, knows

1:42:58

all about it. She's been

1:43:00

trying to help us get Karen's

1:43:03

sexual urges under control. But

1:43:05

we're not sure what to do about it. It's

1:43:08

like she's out of control. Mrs.

1:43:11

Potter's proposal on how

1:43:13

to handle Karen's alleged

1:43:15

hyper sexuality was

1:43:18

to wear extra clothing and take

1:43:20

cold baths. Karen

1:43:23

was so stunned by the things Stanley

1:43:25

said to Mrs. Potter that she

1:43:28

barely felt the vicious beating he

1:43:30

unleashed upon her that night. Karen

1:43:36

developed a rash on her backside

1:43:38

that was exceedingly itchy. Jennifer

1:43:41

took her to a doctor for treatment. He

1:43:45

diagnosed it as a symptom

1:43:47

of a sexually transmitted

1:43:50

disease. He

1:43:52

included this data in her file

1:43:54

and contacted Mrs. Potter about it

1:43:57

since it was clear that a child of

1:43:59

about nine years old could

1:44:01

only acquire such a condition from

1:44:04

being sexually abused by an adult.

1:44:08

Social services decided the best way

1:44:10

to rein in Karen's nymphomania was

1:44:13

to send her to a

1:44:15

boarding school for girls. Hence,

1:44:17

she was sent to St.

1:44:19

Mary's Convent Catholic School. Such

1:44:23

girls would dread attending school

1:44:26

in such a draconian religious

1:44:28

environment. Whether or

1:44:30

not the nuns wrapped the girls on

1:44:32

the knuckles with rulers, it

1:44:35

was better than being raped by Stanley

1:44:37

and his pitot posse. Karen

1:44:41

acted out and questioned the

1:44:43

Christian orthodoxy nonetheless, and

1:44:46

she was soon expelled. She

1:44:48

was driven to the home of her

1:44:50

nanny and grandpa, Walbridge. There

1:44:53

she resided in a shed and

1:44:55

used a bucket for latrine. She

1:44:58

spent her days doing chores. Nanny

1:45:01

Walbridge was a real hard ass. Karen

1:45:04

was not to speak unless spoken to. She

1:45:07

was never to remove all her clothes

1:45:09

for any reason. Karen

1:45:12

couldn't go anywhere without permission. She

1:45:14

couldn't do anything without permission. It

1:45:17

was like reform school, except she was

1:45:19

the only inmate. She

1:45:22

was required to wash three times

1:45:24

a day in the icy cold

1:45:26

water of a stream nearby. Nanny

1:45:29

Walbridge smacked her when she

1:45:32

spoke without permission and when

1:45:34

she used profanity. There

1:45:37

was no light in the shed when Nanny

1:45:39

Walbridge left her alone in there. Relief

1:45:43

and kindness came from grandpa

1:45:45

Walbridge. He would bring her food

1:45:47

and tea. He

1:45:49

brought her a lamp for light and

1:45:51

a blanket for warmth. She

1:45:54

was also greatly relieved when he didn't

1:45:56

rape her. She finally

1:45:59

got to experience it. what it's like

1:46:01

when a man shows you love

1:46:03

and kindness instead of taking advantage

1:46:05

of you and abusing you. One

1:46:11

day Karen enlightened Nanny Walbridge on

1:46:13

the nature of her relationship with

1:46:15

Stanley. You've

1:46:18

got to believe me. I didn't do it. He

1:46:20

blames me for it, but it's not me. Honestly,

1:46:23

it's not me. I don't know

1:46:25

how to make him or any

1:46:28

of them stop. I

1:46:30

just want them to stop. I know

1:46:32

I make them bad, but I don't know how.

1:46:35

All of a sudden Nanny had stopped smacking

1:46:37

me. Her face had gone

1:46:39

white. Grandpa

1:46:42

stepped in from outside. Nanny

1:46:44

stared at me. She

1:46:46

still had a strange look on her

1:46:49

face and said she begged

1:46:51

my pardon. I didn't

1:46:53

know what she meant, but I realized I

1:46:55

had said too much. So

1:46:57

I just gazed at the floor

1:47:00

and shrugged my shoulders as

1:47:02

she begged my pardon some more. I

1:47:05

kept quiet and she told me in a

1:47:07

soft voice to go to my room and

1:47:09

wait to be called. I

1:47:11

nodded and left. As I

1:47:14

walked around to my room in the tool

1:47:16

shed and passed under

1:47:18

the train windows, I could

1:47:20

hear Nanny and Grandpa talking. Nanny

1:47:23

sounded really shocked and

1:47:25

Grandpa was saying, You

1:47:28

should never have smacked her like that, Vera.

1:47:30

She's only a young girl and clearly

1:47:33

very disturbed. She's

1:47:35

very young to be talking this way. I

1:47:38

don't fully understand what's going on, but

1:47:41

it's clear the child needs our help. Grandpa's

1:47:45

voice was very serious as he

1:47:47

said. They are

1:47:49

not words from a child's mouth, Vera.

1:47:52

The child was terrified. I think

1:47:55

there's something very wrong here. Nanny

1:47:59

said, I've got a

1:48:01

horrible feeling that Stanley and Jennifer

1:48:03

haven't been entirely honest with us.

1:48:06

We're going to have to tread very carefully.

1:48:10

The child swears blind that

1:48:12

she isn't doing anything wrong,

1:48:15

that it's Stanley who's doing things

1:48:17

to her. I

1:48:19

just don't know what to believe." Her