0:00

I am all In.

0:08

I Am

0:17

all in with Scott Patterson, an iHeartRadio

0:20

podcast.

0:20

Hey everybody, Scott Patterson, I'm all in podcast,

0:23

one on one Interview, one eleven productions.

0:25

iHeartRadio, iHeart Media, iHeart Podcasts.

0:28

I'm joined by Susanne French. Hello

0:30

Suzanne, and

0:33

we are

0:35

gonna talk to Elizabeth Abbott.

0:38

Elizabeth, thank you so much for joining

0:40

us. Let me get into a little bit of who

0:43

you are and what you're about. You portrayed

0:45

Rosemary four episodes and

0:48

Rosemary is one of the ladies who hangs out with Finn

0:50

Life of Death Brigade. You were an actress

0:52

for best known

0:55

for this role and also for making

0:57

a few TV appearances Young and Restless and

0:59

I Carly no longer acting. But

1:01

you're a licensed marriage and Family therapist,

1:03

a master level psychotherapist who

1:05

work with adults and teens who are

1:07

dealing with mental health issues,

1:09

relationships, or life transitions.

1:12

How fascinating. Welcome to

1:15

the podcast. So great to have

1:17

you, Elizabeth. First off, tell

1:19

us how you first got the role

1:22

on Gilmore.

1:23

Well, first of all, thank you for having

1:25

me. This is really fun. So

1:29

I had been in

1:31

LA for just a couple of years,

1:34

and had done a bunch of commercials

1:36

and had an agent and a manager,

1:39

and we were just, you

1:41

know, grinding all the auditions

1:43

as one does. And

1:46

when the audition for Gilmore

1:49

Girls just came up, and I wanted

1:51

it so badly, and I had to act

1:53

so cool, like I didn't want it that badly,

1:56

but I really wanted it.

1:58

Was it ended up being my first TV job.

2:01

You were smart. You were smart, Sorry,

2:03

but you were smart to act that like

2:05

you didn't want it. Yeah, because

2:07

that shows that you understand

2:10

the psychology in that that works

2:12

against you if you want it too badly.

2:15

Exactly. I played it. I played it so cool.

2:18

So you were already familiar with the show when

2:20

you auditioned.

2:22

I was. I was a fan of the show.

2:24

It had debuted when

2:27

I was in college, and my

2:31

my mom is a single mom,

2:34

divorced mom. I'm an only daughter, and

2:37

so it's sort of

2:39

it was sort of our show. She would

2:41

this like dates me, but she would

2:44

tape the episodes on

2:46

VHS tapes and either mail them

2:49

to me at college or

2:52

or she just saved them up for when

2:54

we had watched together when I would be at home.

2:56

So yeah, yeah,

2:58

that's fantastic. Did

3:01

you know that it would be a recurring role

3:03

when you when you booked that first one.

3:06

Nope, Uh, it was supposed

3:08

to be just a co star, and

3:11

then they just the next one

3:13

was a guest star, and they just kept bringing us

3:16

back. And I felt like, you know, I won the

3:18

latto every time because

3:20

it was unexpected.

3:21

But yeah, so

3:23

what was it like working with Alexis Bdell?

3:26

Alexis was lovely. I

3:30

was so nervous that the

3:32

first uh, I mean

3:34

the first scene that we filmed was

3:37

in the Chinese restaurant. I don't

3:39

know if you remember, but uh,

3:42

and it was Alexis and

3:46

Matt Zukri and Alan

3:48

and Tank and his

3:50

name was Wayne I think, who

3:53

played Marty, and of course Ricky Lyndholm.

3:55

Ricky and I were always together, and

3:59

uh, they had all filmed,

4:02

I mean so much together, and

4:05

I was, you know, I was really nervous

4:07

that we wouldn't get in and click right away.

4:09

But Alexis and Matt and

4:12

all the guys were so welcoming

4:16

right off the bat and made us feel

4:18

right at home, and you know, it started clicking.

4:21

Mm hm.

4:22

Yes, Finn was always trying to get with your character

4:24

wasn't he he was.

4:27

There was a there was a point where

4:30

I think I was like, not that too,

4:32

not too opposed to it as well.

4:34

So when

4:36

was the last time you watched an actual episode?

4:40

Well, I revisited an

4:42

episode last night in preparation

4:45

for this because I hadn't I hadn't seen it

4:47

in quite a while, and I was

4:49

like, what what was that?

4:51

Like?

4:52

It's really fun, it's really fun to

4:55

watch.

4:55

And remember, do

4:58

you get recognized for role?

5:01

I don't get recognized, you

5:03

know, randomly on the street, but in the work

5:06

that I do now as a therapist.

5:08

So many people have this

5:11

show as their comfort

5:13

show that they watch over and over

5:15

again. And a lot of what we do is we talk about

5:17

resources, you know, the things in your

5:20

life that make you feel a little bit safer,

5:22

a little bit calmer. And

5:24

so people are always coming. So

5:27

I was rewatching Gilmore Girls,

5:29

and is there something you want

5:31

to tell me?

5:33

Right right, right right?

5:35

You know, I had one client several years ago

5:37

who was mad that they hadn't

5:39

known beforehand. So now

5:41

if I have a new client who mentions

5:44

that they like the show, I say, okay, don't

5:47

be weirded out. But you know, season's five

5:49

and six are going to see me pomp up. We

5:53

can talk about it.

5:53

Or not whatever, but yeah,

5:56

that's fascinating. We're going to talk a little

5:58

bit more about what you do now a

6:00

little bit later on the interview. But that's

6:02

that's I have a lot of stories about

6:04

that as well. Yeah, when I meet

6:07

people. Yeah,

6:10

so did you

6:13

lie? Did you see the episodes in Netflix?

6:15

The episodes? Do you like how they brought the Life

6:17

and Death Brigade back?

6:19

Oh?

6:20

The new ones? I

6:22

have to admit I didn't watch them.

6:25

I haven't watched them yet because I

6:29

don't know if I loved

6:31

my experience in seasons

6:33

five and six so much that I just kind of I kind

6:35

of wanted to let it be what it

6:38

was. Sure, maybe

6:40

I'll go back now.

6:43

And you did a few more TV gigs with Young and the

6:45

rest as I Carly, When did

6:47

you decide to leave acting?

6:50

I had, you know, as

6:53

an actor, there's a lot of downtime.

6:57

It's incredible when you're working

6:59

or when you're auditioning. But

7:01

I had a lot of time where I needed

7:04

I felt like I needed something a little bit more. So.

7:07

I had gone back to grad school,

7:10

was doing that on nights

7:13

and weekends just

7:15

for the sort of education of it. And I

7:17

had also had a lot of therapy.

7:20

You need a lot of therapy when you're an actress

7:22

in your twenties in Los Angeles. And

7:25

I just loved going to her office

7:27

every week so much that I was like, I

7:31

maybe I can do this. So I

7:33

tried to stuggle both for a while.

7:35

I was doing both for a while,

7:38

and then there came a point where I

7:41

just had to, you

7:43

know, fully commit to building

7:46

a private practice, and you

7:48

know, I found it really really fulfilling.

7:51

Was there was there a moment for you

7:53

that you recall that were

7:55

you made that decision to leave acting.

7:57

Was it a specific incident,

8:00

was it just a moment that you remember.

8:02

I don't know if I ever

8:05

made the decision to leave acting,

8:09

Like, honestly, if something came along now,

8:12

I would love to

8:14

to, you know, I'd love to act again. So

8:17

I feel like it was less leaving acting and

8:20

more finding psychotherapy,

8:24

finding this other passion right

8:27

and.

8:27

And and why

8:30

you say you were in

8:32

therapy. You sought out therapy

8:34

in your twenties being an actress in

8:38

LA Why did you seek therapy

8:40

If I'm not getting too personal if you want to talk

8:42

about it, know that.

8:44

I mean I'm biased. I think that everyone should

8:46

have stuff to work out in therapy.

8:48

Yeah.

8:48

Actually I actually feel the same way. I think

8:51

everybody can benefit from therapy absolutely.

8:54

You know, it was it was a time of a lot

8:57

of changes, a lot of transitions, also

8:59

coping with all the stuff that you know, actors

9:01

and artists go through, you

9:04

know, the rejection and the

9:07

procrastination, and the sort

9:09

of financial ups and downs and

9:11

the effect on your relationships and all those

9:13

things. And it was so.

9:16

It's a lot.

9:19

And I just

9:22

it felt so well. And you

9:25

know, there's always like family of origin

9:28

stuff as well. You know, we've all got

9:30

our stuff. So

9:33

it was just such an enormously

9:36

healing and supportive space

9:39

for me. For several years there,

9:43

I kind of wanted to kind of wanted

9:45

to create my own

9:48

space to be able to do that for other people.

9:52

All Right, So you get your bachelor's in science and

9:54

your master's in psychology.

9:57

When did your interest in mental

9:59

health begin? Was it when you were getting

10:01

into therapy? Before that?

10:04

I think, well, I had always been

10:06

a theater kid, and you

10:08

know, you know, I

10:11

was a journalism major in college,

10:13

but I was also in this three year

10:16

acting class and did theater in college

10:18

and things like that, and acting

10:22

and psychology are

10:28

not at all, not

10:30

at all different. I mean, the

10:32

way that you know I was taught

10:35

and I learned to approach a

10:37

character as an actor is very much

10:40

what we do. You know, you're you're thinking about

10:42

why this character is the

10:45

way that they are, What has

10:47

happened in their life that makes them the way

10:49

that they are, and that

10:52

way of thinking. Also

10:54

just the listening and being with

10:56

someone and connecting and all of

10:58

those things.

11:01

It was such a natural, kind

11:03

of organic transition

11:06

that I found myself always, you

11:08

know, already thinking

11:10

that way through the acting training.

11:13

Yes, in the training that you

11:15

draw up a psychological probi file for your character.

11:18

You fill it out in detail if you can. Here's

11:21

a question for you, and it's

11:23

a personal question because

11:26

I've experienced this. I'm sure you've experienced every

11:28

actor experiences this. How

11:31

do you take

11:33

on the persona or the psychology

11:36

of another character the

11:39

day ends, you go home? What

11:41

do you do to flush your

11:44

brain out and to flush your soul?

11:46

What is what are the best techniques

11:49

that you have found to

11:51

help people do that? Is it meditation,

11:54

Is it taking a hot bath? What is it?

11:57

For me? It was always had

12:00

to get back into my body,

12:02

into my physicality, and

12:05

you know the hot shower, sure movement

12:09

of some kind. And

12:11

then also you know, connecting

12:14

with the people who I love

12:17

in my life,

12:19

you know, having a partner or a friend

12:21

to come home to and debrief at the

12:24

end of the day.

12:34

So what happens to the actor that

12:36

is isolated away from their family,

12:40

playing a hugely demanding

12:43

role emotionally speaking, and then comes home

12:45

to an empty condo?

12:48

I mean, that's what what what weren't.

12:50

What kind of uh, what

12:54

kind of issues would that actor or

12:56

actress be dealing with if they were

12:59

doing that over the film home?

13:00

Shoot?

13:01

Oh god, what would they be facing? What dangers

13:04

could they be facing? I mean, can it get

13:06

dangerous? Can it get you know, really

13:08

impairing.

13:11

I'm sure it could get really dangerous.

13:14

Loneliness is I

13:18

feel like the artist is lonely.

13:22

A lot of the time, it seemed. Loneliness

13:25

seems to be whether it's somebody who's out

13:27

of town working on something, or even you

13:29

know, in a

13:32

cast of other people. That's one

13:34

of the things that keeps

13:36

coming up over and over again when I'm working

13:38

with actors and artists. So

13:42

for me, it's about building

13:46

a community of supportive,

13:49

present individuals,

13:51

whether that's through face time, calls

13:54

back home, or whether that's

13:57

debriefing with your you know, with

13:59

your cast made, with your scene partner, taking

14:02

the time to I mean it's if

14:04

you're working on something out of town, it's an exhausting,

14:07

you know, twelve sixteen hour day,

14:10

maybe it's been a night shoot. You're exhausted.

14:12

But taking the time to, you

14:14

know, debrief with someone, with the

14:16

people you've been working with over dinner

14:19

or breakfast or whatever it is afterwards,

14:22

that connection and support I

14:24

think can be really essential, right.

14:27

Is So what's your perspective on the psychological

14:30

aspects of the

14:32

the laurel I and Rory relationship?

14:38

Oh, let's un back it. Yeah,

14:42

mother daughter relationships are

14:45

complex, I

14:48

think, kind of almost universally

14:51

complex. There can be

14:53

the most love

14:55

and support and understanding,

14:58

and also mothers and daughter push

15:01

each other's buttons like nobody

15:04

else.

15:10

Would you think that Lorelei

15:12

and Rory could have benefited from

15:14

some therapy individual or group therapy

15:18

together? And

15:20

if so, what do you think their issues are?

15:23

I think Lorelei and Rory would have

15:26

loved therapy, you

15:29

know they they would with all the fast

15:32

talking, they would make that fifty minutes

15:34

last. They really would get a lot.

15:36

Out of it.

15:37

There's the spinoff right there. Lorelei

15:39

and Rory go to therapy.

15:40

Oh my gosh, Amy call me. Yeah,

15:45

No, I mean we're talking intergenerational

15:48

trauma when we bring Emily

15:50

into it, all

15:52

of these expectations

15:56

and bucking the expectation, and each

15:58

generation wanting to be their own person,

16:00

but also really wanting and needing

16:03

the approval of their mother.

16:06

Again, all the generations.

16:09

Yeah, do you think do you think laurel I smothered

16:11

Rory?

16:13

Do I think she? I

16:15

don't think she smothered

16:17

Rory. It seemed to be

16:19

a pretty mutual

16:23

relationship for

16:25

most of it. They really

16:27

went through it when you

16:29

know, Rory was going through it

16:31

on her own during the during

16:34

the Yale seasons. But

16:37

they were able always

16:39

to repair. And

16:42

again that's the most important

16:44

part, right. It's not about whether we're talking

16:46

about a mother daughter relationship or we're

16:48

talking about, you know, a

16:51

romantic partnership. It's not about

16:53

do you have conflict do you

16:55

fight? Right, It's about how

16:58

do you repair Do you turn

17:00

away from each other or do you turn toward each

17:02

other?

17:03

Right? Right, right? Right? What

17:05

do you think about the

17:07

Rory Logan relationship and Rory

17:09

losing somewhat of her

17:11

personality within that relationship

17:14

and being in you know, very

17:16

murky deep waters with that relationship.

17:19

To talk about that a little bit, Why

17:22

is she in that relationship?

17:23

Why is she in that relationship? I

17:26

mean, look, as a fan, I was

17:28

always team Jess. I'm going to

17:30

be honest, but Matzi

17:34

Freeze so lovely. I can absolutely

17:37

see how everyone has fallen

17:39

for a Logan, including Rory. But I

17:44

I kind of think that if

17:47

whether or not there was a Logan, I

17:50

think Rory was kind

17:53

of destined to lose her you

17:56

know what, during college

17:59

anyway. It was

18:01

such a massive change for

18:03

her, being in

18:05

an environment with with

18:07

a lot of folks, a very

18:10

different background, being away

18:12

from her mother, and this you know, sort of

18:14

magical talent that she had had grown

18:17

up in trying

18:19

to find her place there no longer

18:21

being the best at everything. Boy,

18:24

that's a

18:26

really really common thing, right.

18:28

For the right

18:32

everybody's gifted here.

18:36

I think, yeah, I think I think she was

18:38

gonna need to act

18:41

out a little bit in order to find

18:44

who the heck she was.

18:46

Going back to your own experience,

18:49

do you have any like

18:52

good stories or your favorite memories

18:54

from being on set, Like any moments

18:56

that really stood out to you from the episodes

18:59

that you were in.

19:01

I mean, every time hanging

19:03

out with the guys, the Life and Death

19:05

Brigade guys, and Ricky

19:07

of course, who played Juliette. We just had

19:09

so much fun. It

19:12

was I mean, of course

19:15

it was my first TV job. Prussia

19:17

was on You've got to talk very fast, it had to be dead

19:19

letter perfect, all of those things. But

19:23

hanging out with that crew, it was

19:25

a party. It was a party every time. And

19:28

at least two of the episodes they

19:30

were night shoots, and

19:33

I remember during one of them, somebody had

19:36

set up a karaoke machine off

19:40

the set, and so people were

19:42

just getting silly and

19:44

in the middle of the night, and

19:47

it was just a really, really fun environment.

19:49

Yeah, that's great. Okay,

19:52

back to the psychology.

19:55

Do you think that do

19:58

you think Emily damaged?

20:03

Damage is a really loaded

20:05

word. I

20:08

think that she

20:11

had incredibly specific

20:14

and high expectations

20:17

and Laura I wanted something different

20:20

and neither one of them could meet

20:23

in the middle. Do I think there's trauma

20:26

there between the two of them, Absolutely,

20:29

just like there is between Laura,

20:31

l I and Rory and Emily and

20:33

Rory, and do

20:37

I think gets unsalvageable?

20:40

Absolutely not. Man, if

20:42

those two would have just talked a little

20:44

bit, you

20:48

know again, I'm just pushing therapy. It's

20:51

such a pusher. But if they had gotten

20:53

into it, into an office where

20:57

Emily didn't hold the sort

20:59

of ultimate status and

21:02

they could just talk with each other like

21:05

humans, like mothers,

21:09

I don't know, things might have been different.

21:11

Where do you practice you practice in La or

21:13

where do you practice in La?

21:15

I see clients all across California,

21:18

But I live in Burbank, and before

21:20

I went telehealth just a few

21:22

months ago, my office was on Riverside

21:25

Drive, looking right over the

21:27

Warner Bros.

21:28

Lot.

21:28

Can't escape that lot.

21:40

We're going to play a little game called

21:43

rapid fire. Doesn't mean you have to answer the questions

21:45

quickly. Uh, We'll

21:48

just called it rapid fire. How do you like your coffee,

21:50

Elizabeth?

21:52

I like with oat

21:54

milk and

21:56

a lot of it, really a lot of it.

21:58

Okay, are you what we already

22:00

answered this one your team? Just who

22:04

is your favorite Gilmore girls couple? Luke

22:06

and Laurel I or Emily and Richard?

22:10

Oh gosh, so

22:12

different? So different? Is

22:15

it really insulting if I? If I

22:18

choose Emily and Richard, they're just such

22:20

a.

22:20

Delight personally insulting If

22:22

it feels like you're attacking me, I'm

22:25

stunned. What about Luke

22:27

and Laurel? I talk about Luke and Laurel

22:30

I a little bit?

22:31

Why?

22:32

Why? Go ahead? Sorry, go

22:34

ahead?

22:34

Talk about a couple who needed to talk

22:37

and to improve their communications

22:39

skill, such

22:42

a such love and such

22:44

support, and every time it went

22:46

wrong it was because of something

22:49

that could have been sorted out with just

22:51

a little bit of a little bit of

22:53

communication.

22:55

Yeah, he wasn't famous for his

22:57

communication skills, and nor

22:59

was she, but I think she was a little better at it a

23:02

little.

23:03

But also, you know, she had a lot of pride.

23:05

She was at Gilmour after all, a lot

23:07

of pride.

23:08

Right, Okay, would

23:11

you rather work with Michelle

23:13

or Kirk?

23:14

Well, they're both so efficient in their

23:16

own ways. I but I

23:18

think Michelle and I would really would really

23:21

get along.

23:21

Really. Yeah, Well, why do

23:24

you why Michelle.

23:27

He makes me laugh every time

23:29

he comes on screen, so I imagine,

23:31

but he would do the same

23:33

in an office environment.

23:35

What would you order at Luke Steiner?

23:39

Coffee of course, and

23:42

more coffee.

23:45

Who would you rather hang out with? Paris or

23:47

Lane?

23:49

I would probably want to go

23:51

to the rock Show.

23:52

With Lane, but

23:56

didn't have Paris as a patient.

24:01

Paris would be a difficult patient because she

24:03

would really want to control

24:05

the whole session. But here's the thing. I

24:08

got a little bit of Paris in me too, so maybe

24:10

we would be fast friends. Is that right?

24:13

But what part of Paris do you have in

24:15

you? What part would that be?

24:17

I mean, I really like things the way

24:20

that I like things. I

24:24

have learned to be so much more flexible.

24:28

Right.

24:29

Are you happier as a result of that?

24:32

Absolutely?

24:33

Yeah? Harvard

24:35

or Yale or drop out and live in the.

24:37

Poolhouse Northwestern

24:42

University?

24:42

There you go? Is

24:44

that where you went?

24:46

I went?

24:46

Yeah?

24:46

I would

24:50

you rather attend a daar event with Emily

24:53

or a town meeting with Taylor?

24:56

Town meeting one?

25:00

You must like to sweat for fourteen

25:03

solid hours and winter clothes in

25:05

summer.

25:06

Oh, you got to remember, I was always

25:08

part of the Yale crew. I never got to visit Stars

25:11

Hollow never so sad.

25:13

Yeah,

25:17

Gilmore Girl's character you would want

25:19

as a roommate.

25:23

Paris really very clean,

25:26

yes really yeah, would

25:28

keep things very clean and orderly. And

25:30

you know what she is a ride or die. She

25:33

will have your.

25:34

Back, huh

25:37

something in your life. You are

25:40

all in.

25:40

On m.

25:44

My family they're great.

25:46

I really like them,

25:49

and also my private practice. I

25:52

also really not in a weird way, but I

25:55

really love and respect and admire all of

25:57

my clients.

26:00

Okay, so how would prospective

26:03

patients get in touch?

26:06

They can get in touch through my website which

26:08

is fulfillinglifetherapy dot

26:10

com and I'm on you

26:12

know, Instagram and TikTok talking

26:15

about mental health a little bit, so they

26:17

can look me up on my on not too.

26:21

Excellent, Elizabeth. It has been an

26:24

intense pleasure talking to you. Good luck

26:26

with your practice.

26:27

Thank you.

26:28

Yeah, maybe we'll see you back

26:30

on the boards as it were,

26:33

inhabiting another role.

26:37

But it was a pleasure talk and you getting to tell you a little

26:39

bit and sharing your thoughts

26:41

on your experiences on Gilmore Girls.

26:44

All you too, Thank.

26:47

You,

27:16

hey everybody, and to forget.

27:18

Follow us on Instagram at i

27:20

Am all In Podcast, and email

27:22

us at Gilmore at iHeartRadio

27:26

dot com.