Moya and Ash talk to Chimene Suleyman, author of The Chain, about uncovering her ex-boyfriend’s secrets and why society lets abusive men get away with it again and again. Plus: a listener needs help with their sexless relationship. Got a proble

15: Dissociation is my superpower

8 days ago ago 1h 4m

Does the body keep the score? Ash and Moya explore the border between grief and trauma and how to embrace being emotionally messy when disaster strikes. Plus: an “accidental incel” writes in. Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected] *Go

14: What does it mean to live authentically? w/ Oisín McKenna

15 days ago ago 1h 11m

Ash and Moya talk to Evenings And Weekends author Oisín McKenna about living authentically, intense female friendships, and how financial precarity limits our self-exploration. Plus: compulsory heterosexuality and suspicious new boyfriends. Got

13: I’m the problem, it’s me

22 days ago ago 53m 9s

What’s the difference between tactics and standards? Ash explains with a Big Theory about how we behave in relationships. Moya brings a dilemma from an anxious people-pleaser. Plus, Myers-Briggs. Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected]

12: How to be a good friend

29 days ago ago 1h 1m

Moya and Ash get deep and meaningful on the subject of true friendship, and help a listener who’s feeling weird about dating a “normie”. Plus: blame game pass-the-parcel. Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected] *Gossip, elevated.* Musi

11: Help! My partner’s too posh

Apr 30th, 2024 54m 39s

Ash and Moya answer a Mystery Question about what they’ll do on the left-wing commune of their dreams, before helping a listener deal with class envy in their dating life. Plus: The Tortured Poets Department. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@no

10: Do I have to be nice to my friend’s partner?

Apr 23rd, 2024 51m 31s

Ash and Moya ask if honesty is the best policy when it comes to our friend’s partners, before tackling two dilemmas about unwanted friendship and non-monogamous marriage. Plus: an important new personality test. Catch Moya in conversation with

09: Should you ever shag a Tory?

Apr 16th, 2024 49m 38s

Ash and Moya tackle the politics of sex appeal in response to the show’s first ever Mystery Question, and respond to a listener struggling with guilt after cheating. Plus: things not say in bed. Catch Moya in conversation with Yomi Adegoke, aut

08: How to cultivate optimism

Apr 9th, 2024 46m 42s

Moya and Ash think about how to stay hopeful when the future looks bleak, and give advice to listener whose marriage is suffering from major communication issues. Plus: Cowboy Carter. Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected] *Gossip, el

07: What do straight men know about dating?

Apr 2nd, 2024 53m 41s

Ash and Moya talk to Matt Kendall from The Love Cupboard podcast about how straight men perceive the women in their lives. Plus, a dilemma from a listener who’s been evicted by her friends’ parents. Got a problem? Tell us: ifispeak@novaramedia.

06: Do you owe your parents anything?

Mar 26th, 2024 55m 41s

Ash presents her big theory about chosen families and what to do when your best friend is having a baby. Moya shares two listener dilemmas: can you live in a different city to your partner? And do you owe your parents anything? Plus, the wisdom

05: Are we trapped in a fantasy?

Mar 19th, 2024 51m 28s

Moya is joined by a special guest, author and journalist Shon Faye, to work out the lure of political fantasies and advise a listener who’s feeling guilty about inheriting money. Plus: trust issues and love-bombing. Got a problem? Tell us: ifis

04: Can you teach an adult to have empathy?

Mar 12th, 2024 41m 24s

Ash and Moya tackle a Big Theory about how we punish criminals and respond to a listener who doesn’t know how to end a situationship. Plus: what the hell are ‘energy vectors’? Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected] *Gossip, elevated.*

03: The dating trap

Mar 5th, 2024 40m 59s

Is there such a thing as a sexual marketplace? Moya and Ash debate the dating trap for straight women and respond to a listener who’s too tired from work to change their life. Plus, a quick round of Shag, Marry, Kill. Got a problem? Tell us: if

02: Is my long-distance relationship doomed?

Feb 27th, 2024 38m 38s

Ash and Moya respond to a listener embarking on an LDR across the Irish border, and tackle Ash’s Intrusive Thought about her cat Moussa. Plus, Moya has the best way to lance an infatuation boil. Got a problem? Tell us: [email protected]

01: Should I give my mum an allowance?

Feb 20th, 2024 41m 33s

Ash and Moya respond to a listener who’s struggling to support her mum financially and wonder why people are being weirdly hyper-sexual online. Plus: the most common misconception about Moya, and the story behind Ash’s Twitter handle. Got a pro

Trailer

Introducing: If I Speak

Feb 19th, 2024 1m 5s

On If I Speak, Ash Sarkar and Moya Lothian-McLean tackle the world’s social dilemmas (and some of yours). Every other Tuesday we lay bare the weird stuff we can’t stop obsessing over, debate our wildest notions, and invite our smartest friends

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