I think that i settled inside of myself
I think that i folded the cards i was dealt
I think that the lyrics I'm storing
Are weak and so boring
I let them stack dust on a shelf
I think that i gave up on who i can be
I think that my greatest opponent is me
I think that i followed so long
I don't think I'm strong
Enough to move forward and lead
I think that i really just need to stop thinking
I know that i got all this baggage i hold
I'll never be Kendrick, Lecrae, or Joyner and Ye
I know i can never be Cole
I know that i used to just get up and grind
I pushed and promoted but never took time
To really just focus, develop myself
So now i just feel like I'm out of my prime
I used to just lock up myself in my room
Or sit back in class and think up a tune,
I had a binder i stuffed full of lyrics
But that me is dead, inside of a tomb,
I rocked a stage, with some of my idols
Some that i met, went through and got signed
They're living my dream i try to be happy
But I'm kinda jealous inside of my mind
I dropped out of college, i would've been done
But honestly i don't think I'm going back
My other degree is inside of a box
I owe 50,000 and just got plaque
I feel like I'm failing myself to be real
I know that I'm blessed, i just need to heal
I cut everybody up outta my life
So now I'm just taking the time to be real
I still have years of pent up aggression
I fight with the feeling of being alone
I lock all the doors and turn off the lights
To sit by myself like nobody's at home
I use the pandemic as my own excuse
Don't want to meet people I'm just a recluse
I'm not really social, I've never been vocal
I lied all these years now I'm telling the truth