I hadn’t planned on doing a podcast on this particular topic – that of sexual predators and sex abuse -- and for some of you, you may wonder what this has to do with mental illness and caregiving, and to that I’ll give a simple answer – A LOT. Having just watched for the second time the HBO Documentary “LEAVING NEVERLAND” - something I encourage everyone to do - it brought back for me the very same swirl of emotions that I experienced when I was 14 years old trying to navigate not only my mom's schizophrenia, but also my own sexual awareness and very confusing relationship with an authority figure who was 40 years old. He was a father figure, a friend, a protector...just as much as he was a young girl's fantasy, a flirt, and at best an inappropriate sexual game player. I stop short still of labeling him "sex predator" even though from the documentary, so much points to him having been just that. Just as in Leaving Neverland, I, too, have struggled to understand my own feelings about what had happened, and I kept silent for so long about so many things -- the shame of which still impacts me to this day. The book I wrote that got published in May of 2015 - The S Word: A Memoir About Secrets - was about the "S" words that were suffocating me: Schizophrenia, Sicilian, Seduction, Sex, Shame... Wade and James in Leaving Neverland explained so much of what I experienced and felt, and I am grateful for the insight to help further clarify this particular brand of madness that happened in my own life. As Oprah said in her After Neverland show, this director Dan Reed was able to do in these four hours what she wasn't in more than 200 episodes of her own show. I hope the message helps further the conversation and the understanding of this cancer in our society. I know it will make a difference for those of us who have walked in similar shoes. I hope my story helps as well.

A storyteller at heart who built a career in writing, media & marketing, Paolina Milana is grateful for the magic AND the madness she's experienced. Her roots are entangled with mental illness and taking on caregiving roles -- something she has come to realize is not unique to her; rather, it seems to be common on several levels among others, especially the high-functioning women who from the outside looking in seem to have it all together.

Madness To Magic brings to listeners stories of real world encounters with what we all experience and yet feel shamed to keep silent. Embracing ALL of us is key to tapping into our own power to make all things possible.

Special thanks to the creators of the beautiful instrumental you hear during this podcast - Philippa Dowding & Allister Thompson - Original song “Sarah Tiptoes” from their album BIRCHES. Also love to the guy who's the master behind this podcast's production and audio engineering -- Joseph Dean Edwards.