Chapters 17-19 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It’s the FINALE of season 3! All the socks, snakes, and sexual innuendos have been leading to this very wet and very climatic conclusion of book 2. Leave your PPE, your oversized wands,

A Hodgepodge of F*ckery

Oct 12th, 2021 53m 14s

Chapters 13-16 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. A mysterious new character has entered the story! But is he friend or foe? Did he have a fling with Hot-Dumbledore or frame Hagrid for Murder? Come scream in his pages, babes, and find

A Tale of Two Clitties: It was the wettest of times, It was the driest of times

Oct 5th, 2021 49m 41s

Chapters 10-12 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry seduces a snake. Hermione seduces Lockhart. Ron seduces Crabbe and Goyle. And Moaning Myrtle seduces literally everyone. Come drink the polyjuice potion and let’s get weird. F

Harry Pooper

Sep 28th, 2021 52m 56s

Chapters 7-9 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This episode is crap full of tender-hearted wisdom, we sh*t you not. For five centuries a heavy burden has been brewing in Nearly Headless Nick, and now, with the help of Harry, his pain

Ginny in a Bottle

Sep 21st, 2021 44m 15s

Chapters 4-6 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Harry snorts some Floo Powder! Ginny practices her Wiz-Pop! Matthew McConaughey blocks platform 9 and 3/4! And Ron drowns a dirt baby! All aboard the flying car and full steam ahead! F

Hedwig Comes with Me

Sep 14th, 2021 43m 9s

Chapters 1-3 of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. There’s a new Daddy at the Dursley's and he is not to be trifled with! Hedwig finds a shocking new use for her tongue. A self deprecating house-elf warns of the dangers ahead. The Weasley

“Everything matters... or it doesn’t”

May 18th, 2021 44m 13s

Chapters 28 & 29 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well, Book club, it’s the season finale and you’ll never guess who Grandpa Joe murders. If you thought we went off-the-rails before, then welcome to the flying elevator! Souls are promised

Kerplop Kerplop 473

May 11th, 2021 40m 16s

Chapters 25-27 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The epic side-story of Mike Teavee and Grandpa Joe reaches a violent and TINY head. There's The Great Titanium Glass Elevator, The Television Room, and the creation of the most horrible abomi

Square but Round

May 4th, 2021 47m 57s

Chapters 21-24 of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. Violet Beauregarde is horribly transformed into a New American Gastro-Pub. Everyone taste-tests a blood wall. Charlie and Grandpa Joe roid-out on Fizzy-Lifting-Drinks. The Gary’s discuss repr

From Lima Bean to Sean Bean

Apr 27th, 2021 47m 59s

Chapters 17-20 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Augustus Gloop is shot into space. Grandpa Joe breaks his personal best slaughtering the Gary’s. Wonka puts beans inside beans, showcases a machine that makes Hoobastank and Chumbawamba, and

Sheep, Shepherds and Wolves

Apr 20th, 2021 48m 55s

Chapters 13-16 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Mike Teavee attempts to storm the Factory; claiming the “narrator” incited him. Wonka showcases his PTSD smelling-stickers, underground isotopes, edible door handles, milk chocolate rivers,

43% APR

Apr 13th, 2021 32m 55s

Chapters 9-12 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Finding the last ticket is simply a 50/50 chance for Charlie - either he finds it or he doesn't - simple odds. The toothpaste factory is shut down and Mr. Bucket is now more useless than ever

Charlie Empty Bucket

Apr 6th, 2021 35m 58s

Chapters 5-8 of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Mr. Bucket is mostly illiterate, but always reads the news. Grandma Josephine develops a backstory with "The Willy-Man" that has surprising implications. Grandpa Joe reinvents statistics. Four

"Hey, it's me, your Grandpa Joe!"

Mar 30th, 2021 40m 45s

It's the start of a new season! Chapters 1-4 of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The Buckets hot-box their bed, Grandpa Joe tells one too many stories, conspiracy theories of the “excellent” factory run deep, and Wonka is propositioned by a p

By The Rivers of Babylon

Jan 26th, 2021 38m 50s

Chapters 17-18 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. Hagrid plays Old Maid with Voldemort, Harry Plays “By The Rivers of Babylon” on a flute, Ron plays wizard’s death chess, Hermione plays with fire, and Voldemort plays with skin grafting.

Capri Sun For The Soul

Jan 19th, 2021 41m 16s

Chapters 14-16 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. Hermione turns Neville into legs, Harry makes’em clap, Hagrid gets a Vitamix, and the gang receives capital punishment. Will our heroes make it out of the Forbidden Forrest before it’s to

Moon Times at Hogwarts High

Jan 12th, 2021 41m 18s

Chapters 10-13 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. Harry get’s a terrible case of the Herkie Jerkies, Ron KO’s a Troll, Snape tries to take a Peek-See, and the boys find a mirror that shows their deepest desires. Is Snape behind the Herki

Mince Pies and Powerful Thighs

Jan 5th, 2021 34m 32s

Chapters 7-9 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. The gang is sorted into houses by a sentient-singing hat, Snape's got a will-they-won't-they with Harry, and a Cerberus is snoozing on the third floor mezzanine. Will the gang be eaten aliv

Big Stick Wizards

Dec 29th, 2020 35m 51s

Chapters 4-6 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. Hagrid explains Harry's troubled past, doubles down on his whistle-tip, and helps the boy navigate a new way of life. Will Harry discover his place in the wizarding world and make friends w

The Boy Who Lived (in Squalor and Misery)

Dec 22nd, 2020 30m 28s

Chapters 1-3 of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. Harry is left on a doorstep, treated like trash, speaks with a snake, and develops a split personality after months of isolation and emotional neglect from the Dursleys. Can Harry survive t