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Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Released Thursday, 15th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Bacon Night Free Throws (w/ Ify Nwadiwe, Ronnie Adrian)

Thursday, 15th February 2024
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for humans with Matt Besser. Based

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guests will perform fully and

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provide scenes. Today's episode features

4:11

human guests. Ronnie,

4:15

Ify, welcome to Improper

4:17

Humans with Matt Besser.

4:19

That is me. Keep

4:22

it going Brad. Hey. Turn

4:25

up just a little bit. Oh

4:29

man. Is that a screw? Cranking

4:34

it out, it's like a year old. Oh yeah.

4:40

Welcome Ify, Ronnie. Okay.

4:42

How's it going? How is it going? I

4:46

know, I feel like that was a very meek entrance

4:48

for me and Ronnie after that, like hard

4:51

rock. Yeah, and you're a wrestler. Come

4:55

on. It's us, the

4:57

boys. Yeah, and I think

4:59

you can speak for me also, obviously. You

5:02

said, I mean, I didn't say a thing. Yeah, yeah,

5:04

yeah, yeah. You

5:08

were just assuming the audience is visualizing you

5:10

and that's enough. Yeah, he was just cracking

5:12

his knuckles on the zoom, just like, you

5:14

know, you should have did it close to

5:16

the mic so people can see. Yeah. Well,

5:19

now I've already done it, so I can't, it's

5:22

gonna take a little while before they get that attention back in my

5:24

knuckles. Yeah. Oh

5:28

my goodness. Welcome back to the

5:30

show, y'all. It's a

5:32

rare rainy day in LA. That's why

5:34

energy is sometimes low. We don't know

5:36

what to do with ourselves, but

5:39

you know, the opposite of rain

5:43

is sun. Have you guys seen the show,

5:45

The Brother's Son, on Netflix?

5:49

I've only seen the first four episodes.

5:52

I put it on my queue. I

5:54

just watched May, December, so

5:56

it's gonna, it's next up. Okay. I'm

6:00

enjoying it a lot. What about you, Ronnie? I,

6:03

oh, uh, yeah, I like it

6:05

so far. Okay. But what do

6:07

you think I'm going to bring up from the show that

6:09

just fellows like you and I,

6:11

um, uh,

6:14

the, the

6:16

notion that the, the kid

6:18

is also an improviser, he

6:20

does improv. Yes. In

6:23

the most major and in

6:26

the most major plot way

6:28

I've ever seen improv involved

6:31

in any television

6:33

show, I guess

6:35

BoJack had a big plot. Yeah. But

6:38

they, and Ronnie, in the

6:40

first episode when they mentioned when the characters is

6:42

an improviser, didn't you think it was going to

6:44

be a one-off joke? Didn't you,

6:46

did you think it would come back as strong

6:48

in every episode? Yeah. I didn't, I guess I,

6:50

yeah. I guess I didn't think they would lean

6:53

into it as much as they did. Or

6:56

as much as they are as, as, as, as

6:59

it stands as me at

7:01

episode four. I'm in episode three, so,

7:03

or maybe I'm in episode four. I

7:05

can't remember, but yeah, I was surprised.

7:07

I'm like to Danielle. I'm

7:09

like, I can't believe this. They

7:11

won't stop taking shots at improv.

7:13

Yeah. Cause the

7:15

basic joke is, is there's two

7:17

brothers and one of them is

7:19

just this fucking hard-ass sass and

7:22

kill like 12 people easily. Um,

7:25

and the other guy's just like us.

7:27

He's just an improviser in LA

7:30

and it defines why he's soft

7:32

pretty much. Hmm.

7:35

In general. What

7:37

do you think about that? If

7:39

he as an improviser and a

7:41

bodybuilder? Yeah. I

7:43

think that, you know, looking

7:45

at the general

7:47

landscape. I'd understand why

7:49

you would think that, but that definitely means

7:51

you haven't came to a big team show. Uh,

7:54

you definitely haven't seen, um, let me think

7:57

of some other buff improvisers. I'm

8:02

not buff, but I can just get in there and

8:05

fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

8:07

mean, let me... Here

8:12

is the part about that that I

8:14

felt like the inside baseball guy. So,

8:16

you know, I like when people watch

8:18

something when it's like, oh,

8:20

it's a science movie and a

8:22

scientist is like, there's no way that that would be...

8:24

That's not the equation of how you would solve, you

8:26

know, that sort of thing. When

8:29

it came to improv, like I felt like

8:31

that because I don't know

8:33

if it already happened yet and I'm not going to

8:35

spoil it, but there is a part where they sort

8:37

of get... Where

8:40

you get to see the improv and

8:42

at the place that they're improvising and stuff.

8:44

Oh no, I'm on episode three. Oh Jesus.

8:47

And all this type of stuff. And every

8:49

part of me was like, that's not how

8:51

that works. That's not how this goes. Okay.

8:54

That's not how that would happen. That's not how they do.

8:56

So, I became such a

8:58

snob and I was like, all this is

9:00

wrong. All this is wrong. They

9:03

were like, let's have an audience member come up and

9:05

then you're going to be a character like improv. It's

9:08

like, so I was so like that

9:10

part sort of annoyed me. Which

9:14

is like, wild if you

9:16

kind of consider like out of all

9:18

the writers, not one of them has been

9:20

an improviser, that not one. Like I feel

9:23

like our hit rate, it's pretty high when

9:25

it comes to writers' rooms. So for them

9:27

to have an inaccurate improv scene, I mean,

9:30

they're going to see what... It came off to me like one of

9:32

them dated someone

9:34

as an improviser and this was revenge.

9:39

Like all the characters saying, oh yeah, that's

9:41

the ones that like it are always going,

9:43

oh yeah, that's where they make it up

9:46

as they go along. Yeah.

9:49

Matt, as a

9:51

person who's been doing improv, as long as

9:53

you have, some might even, even people listening

9:56

might even label you an improv czar. Have

10:00

you ever seen never is our go

10:02

ahead. Have you ever seen? movies

10:06

or an improv movie

10:09

or something where improv is sort of like

10:11

heavily into the plot so even if it's

10:13

like a Whatever one

10:15

that one that bebiggly did and all those types of

10:17

stuff Have you ever seen a movie that you were

10:19

like, okay, I feel good that I think they got

10:22

this right or it's no or no yet

10:27

I Don't

10:29

know that I've seen it that much

10:31

but it's probably been always, you know,

10:33

don't don't think twice No,

10:35

no, that was pretty I Can't

10:41

I don't know there's a lot of that

10:43

that was like, okay that some improv theaters

10:46

not necessarily the UCB And there's

10:48

a difference in shades of gray and all

10:50

the theaters, but I like

10:52

but to also Piggy

10:55

back on what you're saying in general and

10:57

what all our listeners can relate to whether

10:59

you're an improviser or not is when You

11:02

never know till you know and whatever

11:06

The listeners expertise is whatever

11:08

their job is you don't

11:10

know anything about other people's

11:12

jobs and shit So

11:14

you can whatever you see in a movie

11:16

or TV show you're like or the scientist

11:18

as you put it You're just like, okay,

11:20

I guess that's the way it is. You

11:22

just trust what it is Oh a hundred

11:24

percent then you see your world and you're

11:26

like, what the fuck and if it's in

11:28

TV show You're slightly annoyed if it's

11:31

in a fucking news article You're

11:34

pissed off. Yeah, cuz now it's like

11:36

facts all the sudden you're like, what

11:39

the fuck I think Brett and I

11:41

were talking about this in podcasting a

11:43

couple episodes ago It's like they

11:45

don't know what the fuck they're talking about and not only

11:47

that they're now Spreading

11:49

misinformation by this skewed Angle

11:53

that they're putting on it and

11:55

in TV when it's joking. It's

11:57

like, all right. Yeah when

11:59

it's a journey unless you're like motherfucker

12:01

you're lying about

12:04

our world and I guess all our listeners possibly

12:06

have that in their own lives of like the

12:10

world really has no idea how

12:12

my job works or what really

12:14

goes on. Right. All

12:17

right everyone get in here. I got the hot

12:19

new story. I got the hot new

12:22

story. All right let's hear it.

12:24

Okay finally. I know we've

12:26

been trying to you know do these kind

12:28

of slice of life stories

12:31

for the paper to kind of

12:33

give people a taste of other

12:35

lifestyles and

12:37

I really kind of been listening

12:40

to a bunch of you know

12:42

these comedy pods out here and

12:44

you know the lavish life that

12:46

they've been living and

12:48

I think I want to cover you

12:51

know what a day in the life

12:53

of an improv podcaster you know I'm

12:55

thinking I'm thinking we start in a

12:58

mansion you know he goes to his

13:00

his his special studio he invites

13:02

you know his his improviser

13:05

buddies and they come

13:07

they come down there and you know they

13:09

go over the script you know they go

13:11

over the script that they're gonna do they

13:13

hit record and next thing you know they're

13:16

doing an improv pod. When you hit

13:18

it right there and they they go

13:20

over the script because they're cutting out

13:22

the writers not crediting the writers. Exactly.

13:24

That's all that went on in the

13:26

the last strike. It's these podcasts that

13:28

are it's not the corporations it's the

13:30

podcasts that are abusing the writers. Yeah

13:33

see Darrell see you always know how

13:35

to find the tape you know I

13:37

I lop up the idea you get

13:39

the take and I think that's what

13:42

we should run probably front page uh

13:44

you know unpaid writers on these improv

13:46

pods those improv fat cats. You know what

13:48

I once dated an ex and I broke

13:50

up with their media as I found this

13:53

out but she also used to do improv.

13:55

Oh and she was sorry

13:57

buddy yeah I know it was. It

14:00

was definitely I didn't

14:02

get over it for a while because she

14:04

catfished me. Oh,

14:08

she she made a thing like she was someone of

14:10

ambition. And turns out she

14:12

was an improviser. But

14:14

I think that he would always point out was that

14:18

seemingly improvisers don't make

14:20

money. And

14:23

I was like, OK. And

14:25

I think if we're saying

14:28

improvisers don't make money, somebody's making money.

14:30

Where's the money going from? Where is

14:32

it? This person that we're following, this

14:34

person must be the cult leader of the

14:37

improv thing, and he's taking all their money

14:39

and then therefore putting it back into whatever

14:41

he wants, which who knows what that is.

14:43

Oh, trying to get on to Elon Musk's

14:46

shuttle or something like. Well,

14:48

Elon Musk and his A.I. technology

14:50

that he's now implanting in people's

14:52

brains, he's getting volunteers for and

14:54

the real problem. By the way,

14:56

great, great, great story last week

14:58

on that. Like I was I

15:00

couldn't put it down. Yeah, I

15:02

know. I'm still holding it in

15:04

my hand as I'm pitching this

15:06

story. It is always still print.

15:08

Yeah, yeah, we're still we're

15:11

still holding it, holding it down in print.

15:13

And I just what I do is I

15:15

print the Web page out. And that way,

15:17

you know, if I hear someone at the

15:19

coffee shop talking about, you know, the local

15:21

ongoing, I just hand them out. How about

15:24

you feast your eyes on that place of

15:26

your latte? Where are the

15:28

premises coming from? Yeah.

15:32

Because there's writers, but where do they

15:34

get the premises? So I think I

15:36

think it's plants like when

15:38

we see it live. I think the

15:40

people that are shouting out words, quote

15:43

unquote, plants, they're the puppet masters already

15:45

put together. And then they put somebody

15:47

in the audience that says, hey, make

15:49

sure that you say this word so

15:51

we can then do something off

15:53

that word. Who's the controlling

15:55

the plants? The

15:58

people on stage. Or

16:00

the are some of the plants actually we

16:04

cut to some plants In

16:07

the theater right before they let the real audience

16:10

in Alright plants.

16:12

We got to get you out in

16:14

the real actual line outside so

16:18

you gotta Put

16:20

your copies down and get outside in the real

16:22

line pretty soon. You got five minutes Okay,

16:25

but I got a question.

16:27

Uh, what's already forgetting it What is the

16:29

suggestion that you want me to? shout

16:32

out Okay, you should got in

16:35

the list. Let me look here Ladder

16:39

okay Let's

16:44

see fireman it's too close

16:46

to ladder. I shouldn't even

16:48

use that But

16:51

I guess they went ladder in the first one.

16:53

Have you guys not coordinated who's shouting out the

16:55

first suggestion? Oh I

16:58

don't think so. Yeah. What are you gonna

17:00

show? well, I Is

17:06

everybody knows I've been doing this for

17:08

the last three months obviously and

17:12

what I The problem that

17:14

happened last time was we were

17:17

shouting or we were like take turns I'm

17:19

like, okay You say the first word they

17:21

do another half then you say the second

17:23

word and that type of thing But what

17:25

we were finding what we found out was

17:27

that there were regular people also getting bold

17:29

and shouting words so it

17:31

would sometimes leave the Improvices

17:33

on stage stuck because they

17:36

clearly heard the word that wasn't their

17:38

word First so

17:40

then what they said to us is now

17:42

we have to say it louder and we

17:44

also have to be the first so now

17:47

multiple of us have to just say a

17:49

word and So

17:52

a word like that's why the words are close together

17:54

because a word like fireman and ladder They

17:57

can still do their playing scenes off. Got

17:59

it So that's why those were

18:01

so close together But we have to say

18:03

it loud and make sure that we're the

18:05

first ones to say it also Try some

18:07

of the other people and thank you for

18:09

bringing this up We wanted to address this

18:12

this week if you see anyone talking about

18:14

a suggest They're gonna shout out suggestion before

18:16

the show you gotta You

18:18

gotta tamp that shit down You

18:21

got it. You gotta bully them. Let them know

18:23

you're gonna be given the suggestion If

18:26

you're not comfortable with bullying them say it's

18:28

your birthday But you tell

18:30

them to shut the shut it

18:32

down When

18:35

they do and when they yeah, exactly and

18:37

don't be afraid of a little body contact

18:40

Okay, you see some jackass

18:43

just really Laying

18:45

into some suggestion every single

18:47

time Give them a

18:49

little bump Now is

18:52

is our backstory still the

18:54

same because we are too

18:56

visually Mr. Universe candidate

19:00

So therefore it looks a

19:02

little awkward sometimes that we're standing in a line

19:04

to go see improv But

19:07

is our backstory still the exact same way?

19:09

Is it weird that you're together or that you're just

19:11

in the line at all? I just I think it's

19:14

I think not together I think you could see like

19:16

oh those two things that they would be hanging out

19:18

But the fact that you know that

19:21

build is sort of stands out amongst

19:23

the crowd of other You're

19:25

right definitely don't In

19:28

fact be on opposite sides or we cut to the

19:30

theater and now they're on opposite sides of room We

19:32

cut to a couple that's right in the middle And

19:36

look there's one bodybuilder over there And

19:39

then like on the exact opposite

19:42

side of the room. There's another bodybuilder. I

19:44

kind of I bet they're enemies

19:46

What do you think? I mean, what

19:48

are they even what are they even doing here? I know

19:51

they're by themselves And they're

19:53

boy, I sure do love comedy that

19:56

that's you know my personal trainer

19:59

said the comedy hopes. He

20:02

told me... ...most

20:04

of breakdown. Why

20:06

is his name so loud? Who is he

20:08

talking to? I don't even know.

20:12

I have no idea. Look

20:14

at the other one. The other boxy

20:18

builder has flop sweat. What is going on with these guys? I'm

20:20

ready to laugh! I'm so ready to laugh! I

20:22

just love live comedy that's unplanned. What

20:27

the hell? They must be rivals.

20:29

What's wrong with these guys? Do you

20:31

think maybe this is one of those shows

20:34

where a celebrity can pop in?

20:38

Do you think they're like a bodyguard for

20:40

the rock or something? Maybe they're going to

20:42

get a surprise guest and they're like the

20:44

bodyguard or something? That's

20:47

weird that you're the one you guessed

20:49

that needs a bodyguard. It's like one

20:51

of the biggest celebrities in Hollywood. I

20:54

guess it's just wishful thinking I really want to see

20:56

the rock. I would think maybe

20:58

Daniel Radcliffe will pop

21:01

in and that's his bodyguard. Yep.

21:05

Just enjoying the comedy. Love a

21:07

good chuckle. That's my cardio. Yep.

21:10

Chuckling is my cardio. That's why I'm here. These guys

21:12

are making me uncomfortable. I think something's about to come

21:14

to a day long. I wouldn't leave

21:16

but I just have to know if it's the rock. I

21:19

have to know if it's the rock that comes

21:21

out. And I have to give my suggestion. I

21:23

thought of a funny word today. You

21:25

should all think about what our suggestion is again.

21:27

Don't just rush to Sam. I've been

21:30

thinking her weeks. I've been thinking her weeks. The

21:32

opposite of what he's saying, don't

21:34

say anything. Don't

21:38

say anything. All

21:41

right folks, we're about to start the show if

21:43

we can quiet down. And

21:48

what we do on this first form, which

21:50

is called the slacker, we're just going to

21:52

start off with a simple word. When I

21:54

say the word, the group's going to come

21:56

out here and begin. So may I have

21:59

a word? One word

22:01

suggestion please. Fireman! Fireman! Fireman!

22:04

Fireman! Fireman! Fireman!

22:07

Fireman! Fireman! And we

22:09

cut to after

22:12

the show in an alley behind the theater, there's

22:16

police cars everywhere, squad pipes

22:18

on. We

22:22

see the guy had shouted, pineapple,

22:24

he's been trampled and just beat

22:27

the death in the theater.

22:30

We just want to ask some questions. We

22:32

understand there were some odd things

22:35

happening in the theater before the

22:37

show started. People

22:39

yelling out about their love of comedy and

22:41

both you gentlemen both

22:43

seem to be yelling out about your love of

22:45

comedy and I'm just guessing

22:47

you both seem to be body builders. Yeah,

22:50

yeah. I'm sorry officer, are

22:52

we saying that it is now illegal to

22:54

love comedy? No,

22:58

it's just a report that you were

23:00

behaving erratically before the show started and

23:02

that you had a lot of flop

23:04

sweat and since someone was beating

23:07

a death out here. Well,

23:10

obviously, you know,

23:12

as a body builder, you sweat a

23:14

lot. The sweat is just, you

23:17

know, you're old, like

23:20

a lot of your weakness leaving your

23:22

body. Yeah, he has a heart, a

23:24

high carnitine intake, which raises his body

23:26

heat. So he's in cutting season. You

23:29

know each other. Wait a minute. You

23:31

know each other. No, I'm just, you know, as

23:33

a body builder, I kind of know a carnitine

23:35

user when I see one. Yeah,

23:37

yeah. Great guess, stranger. That's 100% true. You

23:40

need to hold. You need to hold. You

23:42

need to hold. You need to hold. You

23:44

need to hold. You need to hold. You need

23:46

to hold. You need to hold. You need to

23:48

hold. You need to hold. You need to hold.

23:51

Your one word suggestion from

23:54

Discord. Not

23:56

all improvisers are soft. Yeah.

23:58

Yeah. Now you know. Now

24:01

you know. Yeah, we proved the point. We proved the

24:03

point. Yeah. Well,

24:06

I hope in season two we all get

24:09

cast and that's sincere. Yeah.

24:12

It's gonna be a fun time.

24:15

You know, I feel like they're

24:17

gonna, you know, realize

24:20

that they've made a mistake and that we

24:22

had notes and then they're, we're the first ones

24:24

they'll come to. I

24:26

love an excuse. I

24:28

will say this, it is

24:30

a heavily

24:32

casted Asian show. So

24:35

we might not be the first on the

24:37

list, but. Well, you know, I feel like

24:39

we might do an all Asian improv group.

24:41

I mean, improv theater? No, no, no, it

24:43

wasn't. It wasn't. I

24:45

can't wait for you to see it, man. I can't wait. Oh,

24:48

no. They just spoke about

24:50

it an episode too soon. I

24:53

was just continually surprised how they wouldn't drop it.

24:56

Nope. Oh, improv.

24:58

It's his whole thing. We

25:00

were rocking with it. So

25:03

and he will be a hero eventually.

25:05

I'm sure we'll be redeemed as improvisers.

25:07

So I, ladder was a suggestion given

25:09

on our discord getting to our, the

25:11

real life of us real improvisers. Hard

25:15

or soft. Ladder was

25:17

given. Boss

25:20

was another one. Laps was another

25:22

one. Any ladder stories?

25:26

I'm trying

25:29

to think. When

25:32

my, right after my dad

25:35

passed away and it was around

25:37

Thanksgiving and I was up in

25:40

New Mexico and it was snowing

25:42

and I was

25:44

kind of going nuts and I called

25:46

my wife once and she's like, what

25:48

are you doing? It sounds like you're

25:50

outside. I'm like, I'm shoveling snow off

25:52

the roof. And she's

25:54

like, what the fuck are you

25:56

doing? Get off the roof. But

26:01

do you sometimes get in a state where you do something

26:03

and you look back and you're like, what

26:05

was I thinking? Yeah,

26:08

I feel like that's the most unsafe

26:11

way to scoop a roof, you know? But

26:14

I've been reckless. I added like

26:16

these all-terrain tires to my car

26:18

because I go snowboarding. And so

26:21

like I've been feeling invincible. I'm

26:23

like, oh yeah, I ain't worried

26:25

about snow. But

26:27

you know, there's no tire

26:30

that prevents against ice. And

26:32

I kind of learned that when you kind of

26:34

hit that corner. It's like, okay, I'm not invincible

26:36

no more. I'm just another

26:39

car on this. When you're sliding sideways.

26:41

Yeah, you're like, hold on a second.

26:43

Well, you need to tell my guy,

26:45

Bruce, my friend of mine, Bruce Wayne.

26:47

Does anybody get you tires

26:49

that are impervious to ice?

26:51

It's him. Yeah, he

26:53

has a guy. We

26:56

cut to a tire dealer ship.

27:01

Well, sir, I can tell you

27:03

these are our best ice tires,

27:06

but none of these tires are

27:08

guaranteed not to slide

27:10

on ice. So I'm not going to, I

27:12

can't give you that guaranteed, but the way

27:14

they're grooved, they're heavily grooved. And you see

27:17

these ridges right here are great for ice.

27:19

And okay,

27:21

because I'm looking for like traction

27:23

on ice. Like I was watching that fast and furious

27:25

and there was racing across the ice. And I was

27:27

like, I should make a TikTok.

27:30

You know, like I should, I should be doing

27:32

that because you don't see too many, too many

27:34

like street racers racing on ice. So I would

27:36

be the first to do it. Okay,

27:39

sir. I'm sure that's, that's all

27:41

special effects and CGI and stuff.

27:43

And good luck with your TikTok

27:46

videos. But we, we only have,

27:48

no, they're

27:51

experimental and they haven't been tested. Hold on, hold

27:53

on, I like the sound of that. Hold on,

27:55

what you got? What you got? Uh,

28:01

you cannot tell anyone about

28:03

this because I'm not supposed to even

28:05

sell this yet. I

28:08

must say this is 2025, hun. The

28:11

eight tires. Okay.

28:15

All right. They

28:17

actually modified in the back. Do you want to take a look?

28:20

Yeah. Yeah. I'd love to. I'd

28:22

love nothing more. Okay. So they

28:24

walk into the back and they go

28:26

into the men's room, which seems odd,

28:28

but then there's this door in the

28:30

back of one of the stalls that

28:32

opens up into this. But it looks

28:34

like this cavernous giant

28:37

high tech laboratory.

28:40

Welcome. This

28:43

is where Hyundai develops all

28:45

its new technology here.

28:48

Get into this suit and take these

28:50

shoes and these gloves and this mask.

28:53

Okay. I'm, I'm excited. Uh, this looks

28:55

very cool. You know, I'm a hot,

28:57

high octane individual, but I'm just gonna,

28:59

you know, we're, we're keeping secrets. I'm

29:02

just gonna, are you Batman? And

29:05

my Batman. Yeah. No, I

29:07

don't know if he is Batman. You

29:10

got the cave and the suit that

29:12

you handed me has the Batman symbol

29:14

on it. So you must

29:16

be Batman, right? Oh,

29:18

well, okay. Since we're passing

29:20

secrets, we all work for

29:22

Batman. He is

29:25

here, but you probably won't meet

29:27

him today. And

29:29

I really shouldn't let you back here, but you

29:31

seem like a guy who really has the heart

29:33

to set on a set of tires. Do you

29:35

want to look at the tires or what? Yeah.

29:37

Yeah. I'm, you know, we can't look at, this

29:39

isn't a Batman tour. I'm not going to show

29:42

you all the bat, different bat suits. There are

29:44

like 24 different specialized bat suits and he has

29:46

all sorts of different cars. I know. But,

29:48

but we up in here might as well, you know,

29:50

to get a quick tour and maybe we might, you

29:53

know, the cars upstairs. Hey Jim, I know you're, I

29:55

see you with somebody, but I just got a

29:57

question. Do you think that this flamethrower, do you.

30:00

Do you think that, can you hold it? Do you think

30:02

this is too heavy to travel if he's like diving

30:04

or do you think it's like the way to sign?

30:07

Let me see this. Ah,

30:10

it seems pretty good. I don't

30:12

know. I think it could be a little lighter. Like

30:14

when you're escaping someone, like if he was casually,

30:17

it was casual swim

30:19

to be okay. But

30:21

if you're escaping someone, especially someone with a

30:24

superpower that's underwater superpower, I don't know. It

30:26

could be lighter, a little sleeker. Okay. Thank

30:29

you. All right. Thank

30:31

you. All right. Good job,

30:33

buddy. So yeah, it's a lot of fun down here.

30:35

Yeah. Just like go fucking

30:38

crazy. Just go with your ideas.

30:40

Got flamethrowers and all that. I

30:42

mean, yeah, I can't sell you a flamethrower.

30:44

I can only sell you car stuff that's

30:47

eventually be on the market. Okay.

30:49

You want to look at those tires? Hey, hey,

30:51

hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no, no, no.

30:53

We're not going down there. No, no, no, no.

30:55

That's Batman's office down there. Yeah. I

30:58

just look, I'm not. I just want to see

31:00

it. You know, I've just, you know, this isn't

31:02

enough. Being

31:04

a cabiners underground layer. You

31:07

got to go to his fucking office. Yeah.

31:09

It's kind of like, you know, Pringles thing.

31:11

Once you pop, you can't stop. I got

31:13

to get it. I got to see where

31:15

he sits. You know, he's office down here.

31:17

I should have brought the tires back upstairs.

31:21

Look buddy, you can come

31:23

look at the tie. Hold on.

31:26

I got to make a phone call. You

31:28

don't go anywhere. Okay. I promise

31:30

I'm going to stay right here. Don't worry.

31:36

So we see him, uh, head

31:38

down, um, the hallway that

31:41

heads towards Batman's office and he

31:43

passes Robin's office. Here's some music

31:45

going on, but it's locked shut.

31:47

And then he sees Batman's office.

31:49

Just the doors cracked just a

31:52

little bit. This

31:54

is amazing. I

31:56

wonder if he's in here. Let me just poke

31:59

my head in. Whoa.

32:04

Excuse me, sir. Who

32:13

goes there? Um, my

32:16

name's Terrence. Uh, I was, do you

32:18

work for me, Terrence? Do

32:21

you work for me, Terrence? Yes,

32:23

I do. I'm the new guy. I'm,

32:25

I'm actually in the towel department. The

32:28

bat towels. Oh, so you're a new

32:30

guy. Yeah. Well, then you know, every

32:32

new person has to fight me in

32:34

hand to hand combat. That's the initiation

32:36

to the group. Oh, oh,

32:39

okay. Is there

32:42

like a training period that I get to

32:44

before I just jump in the ring? No,

32:46

we just square up right now. Let

32:48

me stand up. Oh,

32:50

damn, you're so much taller than I thought

32:53

you got. Yeah, that's people's misconceptions.

32:55

People think that I'm a short King, but

32:57

I'm actually pretty tall. Yeah. You,

32:59

and you got all the muscles. Um,

33:03

actually, do we have this fight already? I think

33:05

we already had this fight, Mr. Man.

33:08

Uh, so like we, we can just put

33:10

your dupes up, Terrence. Okay.

33:14

Oh, I told

33:17

you to stay put.

33:19

I am so sorry, Mr. Jim,

33:21

what's going on? All your bad man. I

33:25

wanted to show him the 2025 ice tires

33:27

that we're eventually going to release. And

33:30

I should just brought the tires upstairs, but I

33:32

decided to bring him downstairs and that was a

33:34

mistake. I'm so sorry. So you mean I almost

33:36

gave the faith to somebody who doesn't even work

33:39

for me. I can't

33:41

work for you. You worked for him. Yeah.

33:43

Yeah. I was saying I I'm in charge

33:45

of the bat towels. Well,

33:48

Terrence, you will never be able to

33:50

work for me because you are dishonest.

33:52

If there's one thing about working for

33:54

Batman, it's honesty. I

33:57

mean, immediately that he let you down

33:59

here. He should have. He

34:01

should have. He should have. Honestly.

34:04

I trust him because I know that he will

34:06

be honest with me. We cut to like a

34:08

year later and Batman is in the middle of

34:10

this huge brawl at the amusement park with

34:13

the Joker and Riddler and Penguin, and

34:15

we see one of the Riddler's henchmen

34:18

is Terence, and he

34:20

runs by Batman. Hey.

34:23

What the- Yeah, yeah. Well,

34:26

you wouldn't hire me, so I decided to work

34:29

for the Joker. So now- I'm

34:31

kind of the guy who like yells,

34:35

get him. I

34:39

don't actually have to fight. So I

34:43

guess if you survive this, it's

34:46

good seeing you. I'm working with the catchphrase. This is

34:48

Bob. Catch your front ear. One of your henchmen in

34:51

the headlock. Yeah. How about- Night,

34:55

night. We

34:58

cut to hours later and

35:01

Terence the henchman is dying

35:03

in Batman's arms. He's been run

35:05

over by the ice tires of

35:08

the Batmobile. Yeah. This

35:12

never gets easier. I

35:17

try to just subdue people. I

35:19

don't try to kill. But

35:22

you are dying in my arms. You

35:25

punched me in the head 57 times. Like,

35:29

if you're trying to subdue me, you could just do

35:31

two. Your strategic punches though,

35:33

they're in all points of

35:36

the head that aren't fatal. Yeah,

35:38

maybe getting hit once, but like I said,

35:40

it was 57 times. But

35:43

with different strengths. ...human,

35:55

to unlock the bonus scene, you must subscribe to the Ad for- version

36:00

of the show exclusively

36:02

available at temperofffohumans.com.

36:06

Humans, speaking of game shows,

36:08

I sent Brett,

36:11

my buddy, my Beatles buddy, some

36:14

videos from my daughter's talent show

36:16

as it was happening. These

36:19

were so good. I don't think Will knew that's what

36:21

I was sending him, did he? I couldn't tell. I

36:25

sent Will Hines to another Beatles

36:27

fan. Can you

36:29

share that? Yeah. I

36:32

sent him two clips from the talent

36:34

show. This

36:36

was the first one. Before

36:39

you play it, they said the intro

36:41

was whatever the kid's name

36:43

is. This is so and so, I think the

36:45

first grade, from the first grade. And

36:49

he's going to play Yellow Submarine. If

36:51

I turned to Daniel. And I

36:53

was like, there is no fucking

36:55

way a first grader

36:57

is playing Yellow Submarine. I

37:02

got it. You

37:08

know, he

37:10

was going for it,

37:14

you know? Yeah.

37:30

I wasn't even going for it. I

37:34

was going to say, he feels like worse at

37:36

it than you do. This

37:39

feels like one of those things as a kid

37:41

where you're like, I can do this. And then

37:43

you get in front of an auditorium full of

37:45

people and you're like, oh no, what's a chord?

37:48

Okay, just to give you a little perspective. This

37:51

is a school of kindergarten to sixth

37:53

grade, elementary

37:55

school. And

38:00

There were 35 acts. I

38:03

know. Oh, good

38:05

Lord, my friend. And they took breaks after

38:07

every five acts. I was like, oh, dear

38:09

Lord, Danielle, I don't know if

38:11

I can do this. Well,

38:17

that's important because it comes up to a question I

38:19

want to ask you guys. But

38:22

here's the deal. And you guys have

38:24

seen talent shows through your youth or been in them.

38:30

There were kids with fucking talent. There

38:33

were kids who could fucking play the piano.

38:37

I'm not saying they're like, oh my God, they're

38:39

going to be a genius when they grow up.

38:41

But they could proficiently play it and play it

38:43

fast. And I was going, wow, for a girl

38:46

in the second grade, that's really fucking good.

38:49

There was this one girl who her

38:51

music cue fucked up, her karaoke

38:53

track, and she sang it acapella,

38:55

whatever song she was singing. She

38:58

fucking nailed it. I was like,

39:00

acapella, not knowing the

39:03

rhythm of the song, not being there, you fucking nailed

39:05

it. So it's not like all

39:09

kids don't have talent or whatever, or like this

39:11

talent show is a piece of shit. You

39:14

could have had a 12 act show

39:17

that actually would have been talent, including

39:21

my daughter. Okay. No,

39:23

no, no. Humbly speaking,

39:25

of course. Well, you know, she's

39:27

on comedy, my friend. But

39:30

what is she doing? Is she telling jokes? There

39:35

was one act, Ronnie. It

39:39

was these two second grade girls. There

39:42

were only like three comedy acts in the 35 acts,

39:45

but one of them are these two girls

39:48

in the second grade and they told like

39:51

pun jokes, basically. There

39:57

was like three jokes in a row where it was a... bunny

40:00

rabbit hair pun and

40:03

the whole audience would go and they... Why

40:06

did the bunny rabbit buy

40:08

a comb? Because

40:11

he was a hair. And

40:14

then the audience would go, oh, oh, like, like,

40:17

like they loved the pun. Oh!

40:22

Like a fucking Andrew D. Ise Clay audience. And

40:25

then the other one, they had this like

40:27

old school kind of bot film music playing

40:29

under him and the other girl would do

40:31

it trade off. Sydney

40:35

did, I would say more of an Albert

40:37

Brooks type bit. She was

40:39

supposed to be doing announcements for

40:42

the student council who runs the show and she's

40:44

on the student council. And

40:47

she's eating a bag

40:49

of chips in her first

40:51

announcement and her co-announcer's

40:53

like, Sydney, I can't

40:55

understand you. She's like, sorry, then she's

40:57

drinking through her second announcement and

41:00

she's sneezing through her third

41:02

announcement. She's announcing

41:04

the winner of the Million Word

41:06

Reader Contest. She

41:10

goes, the name is

41:12

Ah Choo.

41:15

And the other one's like, what's the name of the reader? Her

41:18

name's Ah Choo. Let's give Ah Choo a big hand.

41:21

Fucking hilarious. Are

41:23

you, is dad coaching her up at home?

41:29

Fuck yes. Rewrites, we're up all

41:31

night. Got punch up. Sorry

41:33

you weren't invited any to punch up. Hey,

41:37

hey, baby, wake up, baby, wake up, baby, wake up.

41:41

Wake up, sweetie. Hey,

41:44

so I was going over there's

41:47

what you said you were going to do for your talent show. I

41:50

was looking over it. I think we still think

41:52

we can beat this. What do

41:54

you mean? I mean,

41:56

like, listen, I know, I know

41:59

everybody's. kids and his parents are not expecting

42:34

I will give you some leeway that was that

42:37

was kind of humorous but I think

42:39

you got I think there's more there like your

42:41

delivery could be a little bit better obviously you

42:43

shouldn't trust your friends I've met them before they're

42:45

the least funniest kids I've ever ever met so

42:50

you know and also what's the deal we

42:52

don't start anything with that we don't do know what's

42:54

the deal that's not what we do here in a

42:57

better household now listen okay what I want you to

42:59

what I want

43:03

you to do is feel it like

43:06

okay so you walk in you take

43:08

a look at your audience like everything everything

43:10

means something you know that you have

43:12

to be useful use the stuff around

43:14

you like use the elements around you

43:16

everything be big right find

43:18

her natural button did

43:21

anybody notice the gum that

43:23

was under the seats the gum

43:25

that's under the seats that's it's laid

43:28

out play it up that's sticky right

43:31

that's sticky right sticky

43:33

gum it's very sticky

43:37

yeah but I'm gonna

43:39

do okay we're gonna click you

43:41

need to move out of the way I'm gonna close the

43:43

curtain stop right now that is my fucking daughter oh

43:50

when he looks like he's getting ready to sweat

43:53

ugly he's on me honey

43:55

big finish big finish big finish do you big joke

43:57

do you big joke Oh And

44:02

we cut to an hour later, it's like

44:04

a Dave Chappelle set. It's just, she's

44:07

just leaning on the mic,

44:09

smoking a candy cigarette. I

44:12

just think, you know, we shouldn't

44:14

be held down by what we say about those

44:16

people. You know, we should be free. Skip

44:19

this, skip this, skip this, skip this, skip this, skip this, skip this,

44:21

skip this. Yeah.

44:24

And, you know, and once again, I'm

44:29

here every night. Bye. How'd

44:31

I do dad? Let's

44:45

talk some more about that. That

44:48

was not far off from the truth. That

44:50

was, that wasn't even a comedic theme for

44:52

me. And

44:55

Danielle was, she was more on

44:59

the night. Let me

45:01

get some real examples. Like I

45:04

wanted her to be introduced as just

45:06

student council. Like you go up there,

45:08

like you're just a student council doing

45:10

announcements, but I knew they

45:12

were going to introduce her as like, and

45:14

here comes Abby and

45:16

Sydney with a comedy act. And

45:19

I was like, you tell Mr. James, you

45:21

don't want that intro. You want just to

45:23

come up. Just

45:25

like you're saying play it real. And

45:29

Danielle was like, they shouldn't have been on

45:31

the stage. They should have just used the student council mic.

45:33

And I'm like, I know. She's

45:35

like, you want to run the producer show next year.

45:37

I'm like, fuck yeah, I do. You

45:43

producing that show would, oh

45:45

my God, it'll be so funny. I mean, well,

45:47

I guess if it's not that many comedy acts,

45:49

cause like, what are you going to do for

45:51

music? I mean, unless you're going to be just

45:53

that harsh, like yellow submarine kids, like, what are

45:55

you going to do? It's like, Hey man, just

45:57

stick with the E. Just put your hand on the E.

46:00

never change it. Hold on. Well, this

46:02

is a question I want to get to but I

46:04

want to play the next clip that I sent Brett

46:06

first and then I have a big question here. It's

46:08

similar to I think a sports question we've asked on

46:11

other shows. This

46:15

act happened like five

46:18

acts later and I was like,

46:20

oh my god, this is the world

46:22

we're in. So this

46:24

act was introduced as a DJ. So,

46:27

dear

46:29

listeners,

46:32

one of the acts which was

46:34

introduced as a DJ just

46:52

went up on stage with a keyboard

46:55

that was not any kind of equipment

46:57

and pretended to be a DJ and

46:59

jumped up and down the way for

47:04

three minutes straight with techno. That

47:07

was Diplo's daughter, right? Yeah,

47:11

you gotta go to the same school as Diplo's. Oh my god,

47:14

I was dying. I

47:17

was dying laughing and

47:19

like, do they have

47:21

to be in the talent

47:23

shows? That's the question I'm

47:25

getting if you're running. So this

47:27

is the question and especially when

47:29

you see the juxtaposition of that following like

47:31

some girl who can really play a piano,

47:33

it is up next, DJ

47:37

and someone is jumping up

47:39

and down. I turned

47:41

to Danielle and I was like, fuck

47:44

her parents. Fuck

47:47

them. Send in the kid

47:49

out there pretending to be a DJ.

47:53

So the question is,

47:55

because that's on the parents. It's not on

47:57

the school or the little

48:00

girl, it's at

48:02

what age do

48:05

you go, okay, you're

48:07

old enough to actually work on something and have

48:09

a talent and you're going to be in

48:11

a show with other

48:13

people who do. I'm not going to

48:15

let you go out there and pretend

48:17

that you can do something when you

48:20

can't. Yeah. Well,

48:23

no, I think a

48:25

lot of well-paid DJs are pretending to

48:27

be a DJ. Sure. Sure.

48:32

That was fucking hilarious. I

48:34

mean, if he has, also

48:36

if somebody is a father, if

48:38

Naomi, what's your stance on this?

48:42

Right. You know, I am right

48:44

at that point when I'm trying to decide, you know,

48:46

what my stance would be. Because

48:50

like, yeah, she is right

48:53

at that midpoint where she is learning.

48:55

There's like, so she, Naomi is going

48:57

to be eight in May, seven. And

48:59

seven was the year that

49:02

she learned that she isn't just going

49:04

to be exceptional at everything because I

49:06

feel like from like

49:08

three, when they're actually like remembering

49:11

and realizing the shit that you're saying,

49:13

to like, to

49:16

six, they're doing so much stuff

49:18

that's exceptional for this person who you used

49:20

to lay on the ground and they would

49:22

just lay on their belly and throw up, that

49:24

you're just always like, oh, you're so great. Oh,

49:26

this is so good. Oh, this is good. And

49:30

then like, I remember

49:32

the exact moment because she was doing math

49:34

homework and she had a hard,

49:36

she had a hard time kind of figuring it

49:38

out. And she started like sniffling

49:40

and she was like, am

49:42

I dumb? And I was like, no, you

49:45

just have to work at stuff now. Like it is

49:47

not just pointing at your fingers and knowing what it

49:49

is. I was like, if you want to be good

49:51

at stuff, you could practice. I was like, look at

49:54

all this stuff you did to get to this point

49:56

that used to be hard for you. And

49:58

now it's easy. And so. So I'm

50:01

kind of thinking of whether or not, you

50:05

know, when am I gonna do the talent

50:07

thing because she tumbles,

50:10

she, you know, she doesn't

50:12

really, she used to like

50:14

to sing, she doesn't like singing as much, she

50:17

liked to dance. But yeah, I am getting to the point

50:19

where it's like, if we gonna do this, we gonna do

50:21

this, you know? Like I'm like, we're

50:24

gonna get into it because the

50:26

best example- If I

50:28

may parse it a little, where

50:30

would you or what age if she right

50:32

now were to say, to

50:35

do this act I just showed you and

50:38

say, I wanna go jumping up and down and be a

50:40

DJ, would

50:42

you- she might have great joy from that. So

50:44

that's the one side of it is like, hey,

50:46

if she's having fun, who gives

50:49

a fuck? And the audience is gonna get- I

50:52

was laughing my ass off that DJ.

50:54

One of the best acts for me

50:56

from the show. But do you go

50:59

to- are you fooling them like Santa

51:01

Claus? Yeah, I

51:03

feel like with that, I wouldn't let her

51:05

do that. I would at least have her

51:07

stumble through a transition. I'm like, look, I

51:09

got the decks. So you're gonna either DJ,

51:11

but I'm not gonna let you stand on

51:13

stage and jump up and down. What

51:16

if that's the roast of all

51:18

time where it's like the mom

51:20

or the dad is all DJ. So

51:23

they were like, look mom, look dad, I'm you. And

51:25

they do this thing, I'm gonna end that I'm doing

51:27

the thing. And so they go on stage and they're

51:29

having the time of their life. Like as a parent,

51:31

and this is me, this

51:35

is me in a scenario where

51:37

I'm a parent, but I'm also a comedian. And

51:39

I would go, you know what? If

51:42

I have to sit there and watch 34

51:44

other acts, most of them that stink, then

51:47

I'm gonna make them watch my kid do

51:49

three minutes of bullshit just like they make

51:51

me watch their kids do like, fuck it.

51:53

I get revenge to the other parents, not

51:56

even about your kid. Oh yeah. I

51:58

know it is funny because I. Naomi

52:02

did this like Little Mermaid Junior performance

52:04

and you know it's on YouTube and

52:06

we were watching it and it's funny

52:09

to see her be like so like

52:11

on point to the point that she

52:13

looks off because like she is going

52:15

to the

52:18

choreography and these other kids just

52:20

cannot figure it out. And

52:24

then you're sitting there and she's in the background and

52:26

then I started getting type and I was like why

52:28

is she, why is she, why you

52:30

have this kid singing? Put my daughter

52:32

in the front. Let her be here.

52:35

There you go Izzie. But I don't

52:37

think Naomi would want to, like

52:39

I think she likes being in the back. I think

52:41

if she had to be in front of everyone singing

52:43

she'd be like I'm out. Nah, nah, let me be

52:45

in the back doing my thing holding it down. But

52:49

in one way or another she'll, whether

52:52

it's singing or dancing or acting

52:54

or drawing or the fuck, she'll

52:56

find her way from experimenting and

52:59

then parents we encourage that. And it's like

53:01

yeah, keep doing that. You enjoying that? But

53:03

like my daughter, I remember

53:05

the first time watching a dance class

53:07

where I said Danielle like so

53:10

Sidney's the worst dancer

53:13

in this class by

53:15

far, right? I'm

53:17

not just, don't know

53:19

about dancing. And

53:23

at a certain point if

53:25

she still loved it, she could

53:27

still be doing it. I don't give a fuck if

53:29

she loved it. But at a certain point she looked

53:31

around and realized it like oh, she

53:34

doesn't want to be the worst dancer in the

53:37

class. I'm wondering what

53:39

age that is because I lose perspective. I'm always

53:41

just in the age that Sidney is. But

53:44

as a parent watching 35 acts you're like come

53:46

on, can it, why can't it be 20 acts?

53:50

Yeah, yeah, we can group some of these up. We

53:52

can make a band or a dance group. Are

53:56

you going to have to cut? Yeah.

53:58

So that's a good question. Yes to

54:00

everyone. So let's start one where they've

54:03

cut it and we're having a meeting.

54:07

I'm glad you guys came in. I know this is

54:09

the first year that I didn't accept some of the

54:11

acts. Yeah, I wanted to talk.

54:13

It was a little too long last year. It

54:16

went over two hours. So we just needed to

54:18

cast a

54:20

little bit of discretion on what

54:23

acts we included. But remind

54:25

me what act you channeled my

54:27

son had the spoken word poem

54:29

about the broken US jail system.

54:31

And I don't know why that

54:34

guy sidestepped in this. Oh,

54:36

the poem that didn't rhyme. I

54:38

mean, well, it's what the rhyme

54:41

was the message, you know, like, that's

54:43

what's really right. That's what

54:45

he told me. He kept yelling at me.

54:47

The rhymes, the message. Yeah. Yeah. So I

54:49

don't know why that wasn't in there. It

54:52

just seemed more like a rant and

54:55

an opinion piece more than a poem.

54:57

And he insisted it had to be

54:59

the entire 10 minutes.

55:02

And we do still have the three

55:04

minute acts rule. Well, so here's the

55:06

thing. So that might not meet the

55:09

requirements to be an

55:11

exception. But my daughter

55:13

wanted to do a dance because

55:15

you don't know if you know that her

55:18

grandmother is Cherokee. Her grandmother was

55:20

Cherokee. So my daughter wants to do an indigenous

55:22

dance that

55:24

symbolized, you know, the

55:28

fact that, you know, my mother,

55:30

my mother was one of the first she

55:32

was a part of one of the first

55:34

people being in her tribe. And

55:37

so my daughter wanted to do a dance and the dance was

55:39

15 minutes. But you can't you can't

55:42

you can't do it any shorter than that. Otherwise, it disrespects

55:44

it disrespects the ancestors. Well,

55:47

we had we had a child do

55:49

American Pie, which is in a 10

55:51

minute song and did a really nice

55:53

two and a half minute rendition of

55:56

that. Yeah. OK. But

55:59

American Pie is different. than doing

56:01

an indigenous Cherokee ancestor dance. I'm

56:05

beginning to think something about these choices.

56:07

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm starting

56:10

to see the through line you're trying

56:12

to make here and I agree. Yeah,

56:14

there's two children who'd be an entire

56:16

show. Just those two acts would

56:21

take up an entire show. Yeah, I

56:23

don't know. Those guys, you

56:26

guys are overreacting. But

56:28

I do have a problem because my

56:30

son, you didn't take his pitch,

56:32

but my son, he was supposed

56:34

to, he was going to

56:36

go up there and tell everybody why

56:38

Trump needed to be the president for

56:41

2024. And he was going to

56:43

give all, he's going to give all examples

56:45

of why. That is a talent. He's

56:48

able to eloquently express why Trump

56:50

will be a good president for the

56:52

three minutes or so, because he was

56:54

going to do it for three like

56:57

you said. Well, he just screamed,

56:59

make America great again. That is

57:03

not a salient point. Okay.

57:05

And build a wall, I guess, was his

57:07

one. That is fine. That

57:09

is fine. These, all everyone else is

57:12

definitely, they are doing too much. They

57:14

are now. But my son wanted

57:17

to read things fall

57:19

apart. Chino, Chinoa, it's

57:21

a dynamic story from

57:25

start to finish for

57:27

the audience. And you said it would

57:30

take too long. The

57:32

first take when he showed us that,

57:34

he just read it to himself. He

57:36

was reading it to a mic. He

57:39

was just agreeing with it, wildly.

57:41

Look, he had stage fright, but if

57:43

you were to give him a chance

57:47

to read all 155 pages, you would see not

57:49

only would he be a great talent to show

57:51

his talent. That

57:54

sounds longer than the indigenous dance.

57:57

We do not have that. Any

58:01

other parents? Yeah, so look I can

58:03

understand why you didn't take any of

58:05

their children. Okay,

58:08

it's not a competition. Okay, but... You guys

58:10

don't have to call each other out. My

58:12

daughter is a great artist

58:15

and the fact that you wouldn't

58:17

let her draw the human body

58:20

on stage, just the different ways that she

58:22

can draw. It was the nude. It

58:25

was the accompanied adult nude we

58:27

couldn't have on stage. How

58:31

can you see the talent my daughter

58:33

possesses if you can't see the canvas

58:35

from which she draws from? Ma'am, put

58:37

your clothes back on. Why

58:40

can I keep my clothes on? We cannot continue this. Why can

58:42

I keep my clothes on? This is not in art class. What

58:44

is this? Okay, well look,

58:47

my child has been practicing in

58:49

the garage for over two weeks

58:51

and didn't get the chance to

58:53

show her talents in front of

58:55

everyone. She

58:58

was going to go through how many

59:01

generations we are separated from the

59:03

Queen and that my

59:05

cousin is the lead singer of Block Party

59:07

and you didn't give us the chance. I

59:10

thought going through a family tree

59:12

would be actually a

59:14

unique and interesting act and I gave

59:17

her the benefit of the doubt. I

59:20

think a lot of the

59:23

branches on the tree seem

59:25

very unsubstantiated and I think it

59:27

would take a lot of fact checking before I want

59:29

her to say these things. How dare you. You can't

59:31

be related to all these famous people. Yes,

59:34

we are. Freddie

59:36

Mercury is my cousin once

59:38

removed. Lead singer of Block

59:40

Party is my cousin, like I've already said. Look

59:43

at the Eli Whitney, James Thurber,

59:46

Genghis Khan. Yes,

59:48

yes, Genghis. Yes, Uncle

59:51

Genghis. Yes, of course. I

59:53

don't know what the problem is,

59:55

you know. And if that didn't work,

59:57

we're going to be in the back. make

1:00:00

a shmoovy on the stage. You

1:00:02

know, but you said you can make

1:00:04

a shmoovy on the stage because then you'd have to make

1:00:07

a shmoovy for everyone. You get the picture? No

1:00:20

one word suggestion from Discord.

1:00:24

That would be pretty good though. Yeah,

1:00:27

if there was a kid who was like,

1:00:29

my channel is making smoothies, I'd be like,

1:00:31

rock on. Give him as

1:00:33

much time as he needs. I

1:00:35

got to get the smoothie. Even

1:00:38

going, if there was a kid who's like, knew

1:00:40

a lot about family trees, can talk about it

1:00:42

an interesting way, that would be more of a

1:00:44

talent. Yeah. So, they can

1:00:46

protect now. Or if you're going to do

1:00:49

the cute thing, do it for 30

1:00:51

seconds. Do we need the

1:00:53

three minutes? Did

1:00:56

she at least add something where if she

1:00:58

would at least press the button and like,

1:01:00

oh yeah, or something went off or something?

1:01:02

Did she add anything? No.

1:01:05

Like, damn son, where'd you find this?

1:01:13

Before you edited it, I

1:01:16

was going to be the

1:01:18

kid who played Yellow Submarine. And then I

1:01:20

was like, now he knows Lucy and this

1:01:22

guy with diamonds. I

1:01:26

mean, that's

1:01:28

the funny thing of like doing

1:01:30

Yellow Submarine is because I feel

1:01:33

like it is like attributed as

1:01:35

this kid, you know, centric thing

1:01:37

when it's really just the drug

1:01:40

album. So, you know. Yeah.

1:01:43

Also, I think, listen,

1:01:45

no one's saying that a kid has to

1:01:48

be good. Like, obviously, I'm an adult and

1:01:50

I could still I could still understand that.

1:01:52

Like, oh yeah, like even me

1:01:54

as an adult. But there was

1:01:56

just something about how bad it was. It

1:02:00

was something about how bad it was juxtaposed

1:02:02

with how little he was doing. Like, it's

1:02:04

one thing to be like, well, he's trying

1:02:06

to switch a bunch of chords and do

1:02:08

other things, so obviously it's not working. But

1:02:11

he seems pretty stationary with it, so it's

1:02:13

like he chose the chord that he chose,

1:02:15

which was not good, and then

1:02:18

just stayed with it. Right. And

1:02:21

you asked a good question. Did they have to do this? Like

1:02:24

if you had to do it, then you'd go,

1:02:26

okay, well, he had to. The kid, he doesn't

1:02:28

have a talent, he was told he had to do

1:02:30

something on talent show. But

1:02:32

no, this is something the parents have

1:02:35

to send in a video. This is

1:02:37

about the parents. I

1:02:42

mean, maybe the chooser,

1:02:45

the person who sort of like let everybody in,

1:02:47

he saw the video, he asked to show you.

1:02:49

He's like, look, the video they sent in to

1:02:51

me of him playing Yellow Submarine, this is what

1:02:53

it was, and you see it in. And he's

1:02:55

like, man, this kid could be the next Eric

1:02:57

Clapton or something. And then for some reason, he

1:02:59

got up there and just, he just.

1:03:02

Well they say, they don't say no to anyone.

1:03:04

That's the thing. Because that's what's

1:03:06

so funny about it. Hey man, I mean,

1:03:08

you of all people, you of all people

1:03:10

should appreciate that. Never saying no. Oh

1:03:13

my God. You're the character on

1:03:15

The Brother's Son? Yeah, you're

1:03:17

saying you guys are the

1:03:19

same guys. Oh

1:03:21

my God. So

1:03:29

let's go back. Let's, let's be faded

1:03:31

to that again. Let's go back to

1:03:33

this suggestion on, I'm

1:03:37

going to give you a couple of words here. Stuffed.

1:03:44

I said it before, I don't know if we did anything on it. Ticks.

1:03:49

Log jam. When

1:03:54

I hear stuffed, I can't stop

1:03:56

thinking about when stuffed

1:03:59

crust pizza falls. first came out and

1:04:01

they kept having that campaign

1:04:03

where you're supposed to eat the pizza backwards.

1:04:05

It was like, oh, you got to eat

1:04:07

the pizza backwards. That's how you eat it.

1:04:09

And I started eating all my

1:04:12

pizza backwards because of that campaign and

1:04:14

my mom would get so mad at

1:04:16

me because I'm eating it backwards. She was

1:04:18

like, it ain't even stuffed. Why? I'm

1:04:20

like, you know, I just, I never

1:04:22

considered that you can eat pizza differently. And

1:04:24

they never shelled out for the stuff

1:04:26

crust, the, the, the Wadiwe household. And you,

1:04:29

I would ask them for it and they'd

1:04:31

be like, no. Okay. And the lemonade's over

1:04:33

there and the beer's in the cooler. And

1:04:37

iffy, all

1:04:39

I'm asking of you is just

1:04:42

for your uncle's birthday, please

1:04:45

don't eat the pizza in any weird

1:04:47

way and make the birthday about you

1:04:49

and eating pizza backwards. Okay. I don't

1:04:51

know why I'm being just bugs him.

1:04:53

He's old school. Okay. But

1:04:56

also, if I may just

1:04:58

open the floor and ask, why

1:05:00

would I have to change who I am for

1:05:02

my uncle and his birthday? I think he

1:05:05

has a birthday gift to himself

1:05:07

could be accepting that. You're the only one

1:05:09

who didn't bring something to the potluck. I

1:05:11

told you, I just wanted one thing from

1:05:14

you. It's just eat,

1:05:16

eat the pizza from the tippy

1:05:18

small end to the wide end like everybody

1:05:20

else does. Okay. I'll do, I guess I'll

1:05:23

do, I'll do it for uncle if that's

1:05:25

all it'll take. And because he called out

1:05:27

the fact that I did not bring anything

1:05:29

to this potluck. I mean, I

1:05:31

thought I'd sent on the thread that I

1:05:34

ordered a pie to get here and

1:05:37

it looks like it didn't come. So like I did

1:05:40

get something. It just, you know, I

1:05:42

have to check in with Postmate and

1:05:44

get my money back. Well, we don't

1:05:46

need a key lime pie from Minneapolis

1:05:48

next Thanksgiving. Okay. Hi,

1:05:51

I made it. Oh,

1:05:53

hey. Thank you for inviting me

1:05:55

to your uncle's party. I got I've

1:06:00

never I mean this is I

1:06:03

mean this is kind of a weird second date but at

1:06:05

the same time you've you seem like

1:06:07

somebody who really thinks outside the box so I had

1:06:10

to say yes yeah you know

1:06:12

I do things kind of

1:06:14

differently even when I'm punished for it

1:06:16

so you know I just know

1:06:19

is that pizza can we eat this yeah

1:06:21

yeah go ahead all

1:06:23

right everybody let's dig into the pizza

1:06:26

uncle's just a little bit late but

1:06:28

he'll be here pretty soon okay remember

1:06:31

it's also not a surprise party

1:06:34

so you'll Oh prize when he

1:06:36

walks in okay yeah

1:06:38

yeah look I

1:06:40

feel like any party that starts without

1:06:42

the person the parties for being there

1:06:44

is a surprise party so

1:06:47

that is that is on me but I also

1:06:50

want to you

1:06:53

know say hey maybe

1:06:56

we just do what we want maybe

1:06:58

maybe today tonight's the night

1:07:00

we don't let the constraints

1:07:03

of society tell us

1:07:06

what's good everyone's

1:07:08

family's eye rolling that mr. fucking

1:07:10

Hollywood Dave was all his fucking

1:07:12

opinions okay

1:07:14

here we go and he and they

1:07:17

start to open the pizza boxes and

1:07:19

just the smell of just fucking mama

1:07:23

Mia's pizza floats

1:07:26

through the air and everyone's gravitating to

1:07:28

it it's really good pizza man if

1:07:30

I was a cartoon I'd be floating

1:07:32

in the air towards this pizza you

1:07:35

know but

1:07:37

I'm gonna eat it you know

1:07:39

for yourself everybody we got plenty of

1:07:42

boxes yeah gonna eat from the tip

1:07:44

small tippy side like everyone keeps asking

1:07:47

me we pan around the room

1:07:49

and see every every

1:07:51

family member that knows if he's giving

1:07:54

them this side eyeball to

1:07:56

make sure fuck up the in

1:07:58

this completely normal

1:08:01

from the tiny,

1:08:06

tiny side like we're

1:08:09

supposed to. Yeah.

1:08:14

He's flipping it around and he

1:08:16

avoids the tiny side and

1:08:18

he flips it around to where

1:08:20

he's taken the edge of

1:08:23

the crust first. Not the

1:08:26

full middle

1:08:28

inside of the crust but just the

1:08:30

edge where it is its own. Yeah.

1:08:35

What are you doing? Um,

1:08:37

I'm eating. Niffy! I'm

1:08:39

eating the pizza. What's

1:08:43

that fucker doing? I'm

1:08:45

eating the pizza as I should. I'm

1:08:47

eating the pizza like it calls to me. I'm

1:08:50

eating it. Eat it right. Your uncle's

1:08:52

gonna be here any minute. If he sees you eating

1:08:54

it like that he's gonna kick everyone's ass not just

1:08:56

you. Look, that's

1:09:00

the price I have to pay to eat

1:09:03

pizza the delicious way

1:09:05

then empty my pockets. Wait,

1:09:08

you eat pizza from the back? Yeah.

1:09:11

Yeah, I do. Oh. What

1:09:15

do you mean? Weren't

1:09:18

you just saying how you like my out of the

1:09:20

box thinking and all that? Later

1:09:22

with her friends. From the

1:09:24

back? Yeah, he ate it from the back.

1:09:27

You know what that means. No,

1:09:29

I don't. Guys

1:09:33

that start with the crust they try to

1:09:35

eat your pussy backwards. Okay.

1:09:40

Well, everybody knows that's the wrong

1:09:42

way to eat pussy. No,

1:09:44

but I'm telling you I used to date a guy

1:09:46

that ate crust first and

1:09:49

I was going to let it slide. But

1:09:51

when it came to eating my pussy I

1:09:54

can't tolerate eating it backwards. I'm

1:09:58

telling you Natalie you are my nastiest friend. for

1:10:00

sure. I mean he

1:10:02

I don't I didn't like listen

1:10:05

it was just so weird like I've never

1:10:07

seen eating pizza from the back is so

1:10:09

strange. Now eating it from the middle yeah

1:10:13

of course you sever the pizza in half and

1:10:15

then therefore then you start you sever it in

1:10:17

half you eat it. Now if I got ate

1:10:19

a pizza in the middle like that then I

1:10:21

knew my pussy would be eating the right way

1:10:23

but from the back that's so weird it's

1:10:25

like you're starting from the fattest

1:10:27

part to the smart. Are you gonna go on

1:10:30

another date with him? Fuck no. After

1:10:32

I saw it even after I expressed

1:10:34

myself he munched on the he

1:10:36

munched on that back like I hadn't even said

1:10:39

it like it was so I felt so awkward

1:10:41

I was at this family gathering I

1:10:43

didn't even know anybody and then I was there with probably

1:10:46

the psychotic the most

1:10:48

psychotic member of the family and

1:10:52

they didn't see each other after that for

1:10:54

a long time and they met they

1:10:58

met different people and they both married

1:11:00

went their separate ways when I moved

1:11:02

across the country and then moved back

1:11:04

after divorce and the other

1:11:06

one got a divorce and

1:11:09

30 years later they

1:11:11

both see each other across a wedding

1:11:13

reception of a

1:11:16

mutual friend that they didn't know

1:11:18

is a mutual friend. Isn't

1:11:22

that that guy you once dated

1:11:24

or went on a date with who

1:11:26

ate pizza backwards? That's him.

1:11:28

Oh my gosh Natalie

1:11:31

you have the memory of an

1:11:33

elephant. My

1:11:36

gosh that is him I mean yeah

1:11:39

he has way less dreadlocks than he

1:11:41

did before. That's definitely him. He's

1:11:45

coming this way oh my

1:11:48

god. Hey do I know

1:11:51

you from somewhere? Ooh

1:11:55

girl you guys see how

1:11:57

he's nagging me? You

1:12:00

know, I just don't want to assume. I feel

1:12:02

like, you know, I think we went on a

1:12:04

day, but your hair

1:12:06

was dyed blonde when we went on

1:12:08

that date. Now you have, you know. There's

1:12:11

a waiter handing out hors d'oeuvres and

1:12:13

hands out these little mini pizzas. Yeah,

1:12:17

we did a long, long

1:12:19

time ago. You

1:12:22

invited me to your family, your uncle's

1:12:24

birthday party. Oh,

1:12:26

yeah. And you thought I was a weirdo

1:12:29

for him, for eating my pizza backwards.

1:12:34

Yeah, but I was a young

1:12:36

girl then. I just, you know, in life

1:12:38

sometimes you have, you have, like they

1:12:41

used to call it icks back then. I had an ick. Yeah,

1:12:44

yeah. Look,

1:12:46

I don't blame you. There was that weird rumor going

1:12:48

around that people who eat pizza that

1:12:50

way eat pussy backwards. And I

1:12:53

think the truth is that we eat ass. Like

1:12:55

that would be the one to one connection. Your

1:13:07

one word suggestion from Discord.

1:13:11

Okay, humans. I want to

1:13:14

do one more. Just one

1:13:16

more scene. And I'm going

1:13:19

to give you the word perturb.

1:13:22

See, you think perturbed you guys lately. You

1:13:24

want to get off your chest. You've been

1:13:27

holding in. This is a good podcast. Get

1:13:30

it out there. What's

1:13:32

bothering you? Last

1:13:35

night I saw some dude jogging in the

1:13:37

rain. Fuck you jogging

1:13:39

in the goddamn rain. Why

1:13:41

do you have to jog in the fucking rain?

1:13:43

Just trying to get hit by a car? You

1:13:47

can't take one night off. You have to go in

1:13:49

the fucking, what do they

1:13:51

call it? River, fucking

1:13:54

air river storm. Where the fucking is

1:13:56

called? This

1:13:59

doesn't. I want to say

1:14:01

this perturbs me, but I

1:14:04

recently heard somebody and they were telling the

1:14:06

story. In the story,

1:14:09

they were basically saying how they had

1:14:12

a similar routine and they've been

1:14:14

doing that same routine of stuff

1:14:16

for the last five years or so.

1:14:22

The routine was one part of their morning where they

1:14:24

would do this. I

1:14:26

don't know exactly what the thing is, but

1:14:30

when somebody says something where it's

1:14:32

like, I've been doing

1:14:34

this thing for five years straight.

1:14:37

In my mind, I go, so there

1:14:40

is not one day that you didn't do

1:14:42

that thing. Out

1:14:44

of five years, 365 days, there's not

1:14:47

one day where you didn't do the

1:14:49

thing that you... I

1:14:51

find that so hard to believe. It

1:14:56

makes you want to start to poke holes and what's...

1:14:59

Is this hyperbole? It's like, sure,

1:15:02

but the idea that you go

1:15:04

for five years straight, no, take

1:15:06

no days off, I've been doing

1:15:08

this thing. I

1:15:12

don't believe you. I don't believe you. I don't

1:15:14

believe you. I

1:15:17

assume the thing is something that's disciplined

1:15:19

and good. It's not like

1:15:21

I ate chocolate for five years. Right,

1:15:24

yeah. It had to

1:15:26

do with something. It didn't have to do with eating though, I think.

1:15:28

But it is funny because it is like,

1:15:30

oh yeah, every day I have... Every

1:15:37

day I've had a bagel and this or whatever.

1:15:41

It's like, okay. The

1:15:44

idea of it, if you've taken trips

1:15:46

or been anywhere or been to somewhere else

1:15:48

or been

1:15:52

back home, visit family, visit somebody, a significant

1:15:54

other's family, or doing this type of stuff,

1:15:57

and everywhere you've went, you've

1:15:59

had... all the materials that you've

1:16:01

needed to sort of continue this

1:16:04

transfer. I find that so difficult

1:16:06

to believe. Did

1:16:08

you hear her? A

1:16:11

toasted bagel with salmon every

1:16:13

day. That's impossible. I'm

1:16:16

going to go say something. Yeah. I

1:16:19

know they moved on in the conversation, but how

1:16:22

can you have a toaster, if it was

1:16:24

a bagel with salmon? That's

1:16:27

crazy. Salmon everywhere, fresh salmon.

1:16:29

Yeah. It's nuts.

1:16:31

I mean, what's the mercury even? You're

1:16:35

buying into it, what's the mercury? It's

1:16:38

not happening. It's not

1:16:40

happening. Maybe a bagel every

1:16:42

day. I can buy that. A bagel, not

1:16:45

toasted every day, but a toasted bagel. Excuse

1:16:48

me. Yes?

1:16:52

Hi. I wasn't in your conversation, but

1:16:54

I was sitting next

1:16:56

to it. Okay. Did

1:16:59

you say you ate a toasted bagel every day?

1:17:01

Or you do eat a toasted bagel with lox,

1:17:05

smoked salmon every day? Oh, yeah.

1:17:07

I said that, was that like 15 minutes

1:17:09

ago? Yeah. I know.

1:17:11

I've just been ruminating on it. Yeah,

1:17:15

I do. I eat it every day. I've

1:17:17

ate it every day for the last five

1:17:19

years. Well, not every day. Yes,

1:17:25

yes, every day. Toasted bagel,

1:17:28

lox, salmon every day for

1:17:31

the last five years. Never miss the day at

1:17:34

the same exact time. You

1:17:37

mean like almost every day? Like you've done it

1:17:39

so much, it seems like it's every day. Nope.

1:17:42

365 days and 366 on

1:17:44

the days where there's leap years. And

1:17:46

like I said, every day at the

1:17:48

same time. And it's not an easy time. It's

1:17:50

like a hard time that you can't make a

1:17:52

mistake. So I wake up and I eat it

1:17:54

at the same time every day. I

1:18:00

know you're walking away, but okay

1:18:04

Fred how do you have you must not you

1:18:06

must stay in your own home and never leave

1:18:08

your own home and you just have all These

1:18:10

supplies You know with

1:18:12

all time. I actually travel the world this part of

1:18:14

my job Don't

1:18:18

grab my arm, this is bullshit you're

1:18:20

lying Yeah, yeah, hold

1:18:23

on What

1:18:25

about the mercury like like

1:18:27

if you eat that much You

1:18:30

have an issue with the mercury? No,

1:18:33

well because the salmon that I get is

1:18:36

special mercury free salmon. Okay. Okay

1:18:38

This is like a double down

1:18:40

line. So everywhere you travel has

1:18:43

this special Mercury

1:18:46

free Smoked salmon

1:18:48

and a toaster available. Okay, I

1:18:50

would be lying if I said

1:18:52

that in some places where

1:18:55

I go I Import

1:18:57

salmon I do do that just

1:18:59

to make sure that it's the right salmon But a

1:19:01

lot of places that I have have the salmon that

1:19:03

I like to eat. So Hopefully

1:19:06

that answers your question and I hope you have a good day

1:19:13

Yeah, no don't leave yet here come on come

1:19:15

on come around I got me yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:19:17

yeah Yeah, no, no, no, we got more. Okay,

1:19:19

ladies. You're being very aggressive to me. Okay. Yes

1:19:21

You aggressively lied about this.

1:19:24

Exactly. I I tell stories all

1:19:26

the time and I assume this people

1:19:30

Think it's hyperbole and

1:19:32

they tell stories with hyperbole and we just let it

1:19:34

go But

1:19:37

the way you said it was like a

1:19:39

fact like you're bragging because it is a

1:19:41

hyperbole. It is a face hyperbole Yeah, what

1:19:43

is it? You live hyperbole? This is this

1:19:45

is my this this right here.

1:19:47

This is my whole personality If

1:19:50

I don't wake up at the same time every day and eat

1:19:52

the same meal, then what the fuck do I have to talk

1:19:54

about? This is what

1:19:56

my friends know me as I can't let that

1:19:58

slip away everyday, it's

1:20:00

rain, sleet, or snow. It does not matter.

1:20:03

I wake up at the same time and I eat

1:20:05

the same breakfast every day. And I've done that for

1:20:07

the last five years. And I'm champion for it every

1:20:09

time I walk into a room. It's the thing that

1:20:11

people start when they introduce me. It's the

1:20:13

thing that I'm going to use as the forward of

1:20:16

my book. So yeah. Yeah.

1:20:19

What do you mean? The forward of your book.

1:20:21

Is the whole book about it? Yes. The book

1:20:23

is about having the willpower to do the same

1:20:25

thing every day at the same time. Also,

1:20:29

you said rain, sleet, or snow. What would

1:20:31

that, why would that stop you from eating

1:20:34

salmon? Because sometimes when I'm traveling in the

1:20:36

world, like when I go to Antarctica or

1:20:38

something, I have to sleep outside. You have

1:20:40

never been to Antarctica. Why

1:20:43

don't you just lie and say something like

1:20:45

Alaska? Because I have been to

1:20:47

Antarctica. You don't know what part

1:20:49

of Antarctica I've been to. I've been to Antarctica. Later,

1:20:52

like an hour later, they've separated and

1:20:54

they're still rooming. And they're

1:20:56

more mad about that all Antarctica thing

1:20:58

than the fucking bagels. No one comes

1:21:01

to Antarctica. You've

1:21:03

got to be like a fucking special scientist or a goddamn

1:21:05

scientist. I know. Are

1:21:10

you still looking up shit about Mercury? Yeah,

1:21:13

I'm looking up the Mercury because like I don't

1:21:15

think, I don't think you can, I think they

1:21:17

all got Mercury. I think they

1:21:19

all have Mercury. You don't think

1:21:21

there isn't even, there's no Mercury feast

1:21:23

salmon that doesn't even exist? Yeah, no,

1:21:25

I think that's true. All right, let's

1:21:27

go back over there. Yeah. Hey,

1:21:31

she's talking to the bride and congratulating

1:21:33

the bride. Can we pull you away

1:21:35

from the bride for a second? Oh

1:21:37

my God. Yeah, yeah. What? Hey. Yeah.

1:21:39

One, you made up the whole Mercury free.

1:21:41

Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's fucking bullshit. I looked it up.

1:21:43

I googled it. I googled it.

1:21:45

It ain't real. It ain't real. It

1:21:48

is real. You don't know the people that I know, okay? Oh,

1:21:51

I know people. Yes, I know people who know how to

1:21:53

get the Mercury out of the hall. I

1:21:55

can't Google any of them. Like they can't be found

1:21:57

on Google. What do you do in Antarctica?

1:22:00

What business do you have up there? Yeah.

1:22:03

I work with a lot of people who... Alright,

1:22:09

if I tell you, can you keep it secret? Yes.

1:22:13

Yes. Okay. I

1:22:15

work for the penguin. Oh! Oh, he's

1:22:17

hiring? Because,

1:22:20

you know, I heard Batman be real

1:22:22

strict with the hiring, so... And

1:22:25

seeing humans. Excellent

1:22:27

callbacks, but only a

1:22:29

hard-ass improviser. Oh,

1:22:31

yeah. A real tough improviser. Real

1:22:33

Ronnie. Stick with me. Hard-ass.

1:22:36

That's how you bring in all

1:22:38

connectivity, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully this

1:22:40

is edited in a way,

1:22:42

Brett, where that shows. Yeah. They

1:22:45

say it's up to you, Brett. Power

1:22:47

is in your hand. Up to you, Brett.

1:22:50

Turn this into gold. And

1:22:56

Ronnie, where can we see you

1:22:58

to see you do improv live? Oh,

1:23:00

yeah. You

1:23:04

can always go

1:23:06

to Bones Adrian. That's where you'll be able to see

1:23:08

the place that I'm performing. You

1:23:10

know, I'm on a

1:23:13

couple of things over at the UCB Theater. The

1:23:15

big team, obviously, Banger Ranks, stuff like that. And,

1:23:20

you know, in the big team, we have some stuff coming up, different

1:23:23

shows and stuff that we got coming up. Just stay tuned

1:23:25

for that. Also, a special shout out.

1:23:28

I could always come on here. And

1:23:30

when I give my

1:23:32

socials, I always make the point

1:23:35

that nobody ever says anything nice

1:23:37

to me about being on

1:23:39

this thing. And I have to say, from

1:23:41

the last time I said it, people have reached

1:23:43

out to me just to tell me that they

1:23:45

do like what I've been doing. So for those

1:23:48

select few, thank you for reaching out. I appreciate

1:23:50

it. I think I will also say that I point

1:23:52

out that they do not listen to the episodes on

1:23:54

time. Because they definitely

1:23:56

was like way later to be like, hey, just heard

1:23:58

a just heard you on this podcast and I just

1:24:01

want to say and I'm like didn't I do that

1:24:03

like months ago? Improv for

1:24:05

humans is evergreen humans that's what makes

1:24:07

it great but we'll talk about that

1:24:09

in a second. Ify what do you

1:24:11

want to plug? You are on the

1:24:13

road a lot. Yeah yeah if

1:24:15

you Wadiway on Twitter and Instagram

1:24:18

I'll be bouncing around that's where you'll know

1:24:20

which shows but like Ronnie said you can

1:24:22

catch me at any

1:24:24

of those big team shows doing improv

1:24:27

you know I'm trying to get a

1:24:29

good word in with the artistic director

1:24:31

to probably get on an ask cat or

1:24:33

something but we'll see when that happens depending

1:24:35

on are you kidding me yeah I know

1:24:37

right you don't do ask cats yeah no

1:24:40

the the you know just getting overlooked by

1:24:42

artistic directors at the theater but you know

1:24:45

you know eventually who knows but

1:24:47

yeah for all my stand-up stuff I'm

1:24:50

posting on social I'm

1:24:52

actually on dropout just announced new

1:24:54

host so definitely new season will

1:24:56

be coming out on the 27th

1:24:58

of February so check

1:25:00

that out a lot of good stuff

1:25:02

on there improv for humans for humans

1:25:05

improvforhumans.com we have so

1:25:07

much good stuff fret

1:25:11

I like the videos I'm posting and talking

1:25:13

about I feel like that that's worth price

1:25:15

of admission yeah we've got a lot of

1:25:18

uh of ad free bonus

1:25:21

content or bonus scene on

1:25:24

each episode and

1:25:26

lots of new podcasts

1:25:28

they're just unique to improper humans

1:25:30

doing last episode had like a

1:25:33

20-minute bonus scene or something they're

1:25:37

substantial solid yeah

1:25:40

solid on my last Besser's attic I

1:25:42

took out the from

1:25:45

the attic the show

1:25:47

I did with method man and red man

1:25:49

called stung and I did all the back

1:25:51

stories on that I feel like I've talked

1:25:53

to Ronnie about that so I'm and I

1:25:56

love that amazing um

1:25:58

but yeah go there exclusive content,

1:26:01

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1:26:03

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