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are entering an improvised comedy show.

3:59

Restrict. to humans only. Improv

4:02

for humans is much better. Based

4:05

on your suggestions and other sources

4:07

of inspiration, our guests

4:09

will perform a career of provides speed.

4:12

Today's episode features human bests.

4:15

Oscar, Pam,

4:17

welcome to Improv for Humans

4:19

and Maths. That

4:21

is me, cheapy

4:23

going brat. Hi,

4:25

I'm Pam. Welcome guys, I'm Pam. Hi.

4:30

Hi, Oscar.

4:32

Hey, Pam. I

4:35

love Pam. There's

4:37

no secret. I love Pam Murphy.

4:40

I'm in love with Pam Murphy. Hello.

4:44

Also, in our last conversation, we

4:46

might get married at the end of this. Our last conversation,

4:50

we recently spoke to each other. We

4:52

saw each other at a show. And

4:56

oh my god, Pam Murphy

4:58

has led an interesting life.

5:01

Oh, well, fuck, let me get a story. It's

5:03

not interesting. It is not

5:05

interesting. It is not interesting.

5:08

Oscar, tee it up, man. Set

5:10

the table. It's

5:13

not interesting. It's

5:15

just I've lived a normal life. I think that

5:17

might be it. I

5:20

lived a normal life before being an actor.

5:24

Right? Okay,

5:27

I've heard a lot of Pam's stories, but has something happened

5:29

recently we need to be caught up on? No, there's nothing

5:31

recent. There's nothing

5:33

really recent, but Oscar was

5:36

blown away that I worked

5:39

in the mortgage business for over a decade. Like, come on.

5:42

And I also have a wild job.

5:44

I love his wild Oscar's breakdown. He's

5:46

like so freaked out. And

5:49

then I was like taking

5:53

classes at UCB as like a

5:55

hobby, you know? I was just

5:57

like a regular person. person.

6:00

I said billion

6:03

and then yeah and then I started

6:05

taking class at UCB and it changed

6:07

my life. Didn't

6:12

you expect to hear like

6:14

that? I was like, I was

6:17

in the airport. It got lost

6:19

in Europe and no, I don't know.

6:23

I was like, I'm sorry. He's like

6:25

the exact opposite of the secret thing.

6:27

He's extremely boring. He's extremely boring. I'm

6:31

sorry. Because Oscar

6:33

goes, I saw her this weekend. I

6:35

know. He just rented

6:37

up like something just happened in the

6:39

last week. Oh my gosh. And

6:43

also, I lived in Albuquerque, New

6:45

Mexico for also a decade and

6:48

he was like, what? I

6:51

didn't know that. Again, a very

6:53

boring place. I didn't know that.

6:56

Well, I was like 19 and my friend

6:59

and I were actually moving to LA because

7:01

I have a brother who lives here. We're moving

7:03

to LA and then we stopped. You got lost

7:05

from the way. We made a

7:07

wrong turn in Albuquerque. This is

7:09

home now. And so we

7:11

stopped in Albuquerque to visit a friend and

7:14

then my friend was like, I want to live here. And

7:17

I was like, okay. Oh,

7:19

my brother. All right. That's

7:23

Oscar. That's

7:25

crazy. Let's cut

7:27

to that conversation. Oh, man. I

7:31

can't wait to get to LA. Oh, the

7:35

speech, the sunshine. It's going to be

7:37

awesome. Nightlife.

7:41

But they're pulling into

7:43

the driveway of the

7:46

Albuquerque residents. There

7:49

they are. Hey, guys.

7:52

Hey, Rich. How's it going? Rich,

7:54

hi. Come on out. Welcome

7:58

to Albuquerque. Wow, you're really in the gym.

8:00

desert here, huh? Yeah,

8:02

well, that's New Mexico, you know.

8:05

A lot of people think of it

8:07

as beautiful, especially at night, you can

8:09

see so many stars. It's great. I

8:12

mean, not like Hollywood, the way you guys

8:14

are gonna see stars. Oh boy, I can't

8:16

wait till we get there. Isn't

8:18

that so fun? Oh my

8:21

gosh, wow. Wait, you

8:23

said they're stars at night? Well,

8:26

yeah, it's just super clear. Like you

8:28

can see so many stars. Oh

8:31

my gosh, what was the last time you guys were

8:33

all stars? I mean, they, well, there's stars in New

8:35

Jersey. I mean, they can see them pretty well there.

8:38

No, actually you can't because of all the

8:40

light coming from New York City. Yeah, all

8:42

the light pollution. You keep saying like, oh,

8:44

look at that star. And I'm like, no,

8:47

that's just Times Square, babe. Oh, well, I

8:49

guess it's nice. Yeah, it's pretty wide open.

8:51

There's kind of not a lot around.

8:54

All the buildings are like one story. So

8:56

yeah, you get it. You do hear

8:59

now, Burkerky anyway. Well, actually

9:01

you can't have it be more

9:03

than one story because that's one

9:06

of the building laws here is to make

9:09

things beautiful and keep it like that. Everything

9:11

has Adobe architecture you'll notice. Wow, Rich, this

9:13

is really interesting. You're really showing us a

9:16

good time here. Seems like your friend is

9:18

a little more interested in you, Pam. So

9:20

I don't know. Pam, remember we had this

9:22

conversation like two hours ago where

9:25

I said, you know what I find ugly? Two

9:27

story houses. Oh, I guess. Yeah,

9:30

I mean, I've got two hours later

9:32

and they're all sitting around eating

9:35

corn chips and salsa. And

9:39

yeah, yeah, that here's another photo of

9:41

another type of Adobe in town. Right.

9:43

And this is a delicacy where you're

9:45

from. Guys, I'm like so tired. We

9:49

just drove like 16 hours today. It

9:53

is boring. I'm sorry. Boring?

9:55

Well, I just agreed. Rich.

9:59

Gosh. Okay, and later

10:01

that night as the Sun starts to go

10:03

down. Okay now watch look up at

10:05

the sky as the Sun is totally down and

10:10

there See how much

10:12

many more stars you can see yeah, there's

10:14

a lot you see them all Falling

10:19

in love with this place not I

10:22

mean, it's nice. It's interesting. I mean It's

10:25

a nice stop on our drive out to LA. I

10:27

can't wait to get there Wish

10:30

hey look it's a shooting star. Yeah,

10:32

I'm gonna make a wish Okay,

10:35

I wish I may I wish

10:37

I might Wish on

10:39

the shooting shooting star I see tonight.

10:42

I wish I didn't have to

10:44

leave this magical place Hmm

10:48

you're serious Hey,

10:50

um, you want to live here you want to

10:52

live here? One-story

10:54

houses stars in the sky

10:57

him what's more just easily

10:59

attainable wishes It's

11:02

I mean we're in the middle we plan

11:04

this for over a year I have

11:06

a feeling you want to stay here, and I think it's

11:08

because you want to get with rich Is

11:12

that what's going on because if

11:14

that's what that's fine. It's just

11:17

like right here. He's listening What?

11:22

Yeah Yes,

11:24

I do want to fuck rich, okay, okay, so bad

11:26

no it's not and I Support

11:30

you in your decision, and I hope it works

11:32

out for you Stay

11:34

with me, please we've been together through thick

11:36

and thin Wait isn't gonna be just a

11:38

one-night thing you can't just fuck right here

11:41

later on it. Yeah, look So

11:43

clear tonight you see even more stars you

11:45

see that Pam even more star more Yeah,

11:49

and wasn't when you guys came here.

11:51

Yeah, what happy anniversary? Happy

11:54

anniversary, babe Pam I

11:56

swear to God once I fuck rich we will

11:58

get I

12:01

believe in you okay. He's just really

12:04

hard to get we are fully married,

12:06

but we have not consummated our marriage

12:13

Yes, honey, thank you I'd

12:19

really think you guys should refinance this house And

12:24

what's wrong with the house what no refinance

12:27

it like get a better interest rate I

12:29

love not talk career Two

12:33

years later the 10th anniversary And

12:36

may I toast to another 10

12:39

years of you guys

12:41

living here? Oh Isn't

12:43

he so sweet? Margaritas yum,

12:45

I think tonight might be the night

12:50

Might be the night I don't think it's gonna happen

12:53

Enough of these bad boys. It'll happen.

12:55

No, you don't Hopefully you're chugging. Yes.

12:57

Yes should do the chugging. I guess

12:59

which I don't know Where

13:02

are you going Pam? What are you doing? Moving

13:05

to Jersey City, New Jersey Just

13:09

both right away from Manhattan. Okay, you're

13:11

not even gonna go all the way

13:15

No, I give up. I give up

13:18

You're so much closer to LA than New

13:20

Jersey's so close to LA. I know I

13:22

know but Phoenix this is

13:24

a dream that's been dashed. I Don't

13:28

know maybe 10 years from now. I'll move to

13:30

Los Angeles After

13:32

I advance in my mortgage career some

13:34

more on the East Coast and maybe

13:37

take some kind of comedy class

13:39

I know nothing about Yeah,

13:45

the Sun's fried her brain a little bit I'll

13:48

be right by your side as soon

13:50

as I consummate the marriage. It'll happen.

13:52

Okay. Well, I'm gonna leave without you

13:55

I'm good. I'm driving this you haul

13:57

by myself across before you go. Have

13:59

you? The new Blue

14:01

Meth, it's gone around town.

14:03

Oh you gotta try the

14:06

blue Mass relays for since

14:08

feather. Let's

14:18

talk some more about them. You.

14:21

Never did go to L A C. Nine

14:23

himself know with i want some New Vegas,

14:25

A Cow Vaccine New Jersey and then I

14:28

lived there for like ten years and then

14:30

I moved our. I. Totally

14:32

forgot that we originally gonna go

14:34

to L A like the years

14:36

later and my brothers live or

14:38

die. Years

14:41

After a few years I forgot and my

14:43

brother was like remember when you are moving

14:45

out here and I was like why it's

14:47

and he is a you guys are moving

14:49

year and you sound is an amateur You

14:51

know like oh my god a. Wild

14:55

around me, Angry or where the way

14:57

make? I mean where the. Ultimate.

15:00

I'd vote for me.

15:04

Solutions the wind blowing? The

15:07

other? When someone. Who

15:10

in supplying and down my when?

15:12

I like Albuquerque. I

15:14

know beyond bad. made it look like

15:16

a hell hole and parts of it

15:18

are definitely are. But so you'll see

15:20

that in every city. By the it's

15:23

called the land of in San Men

15:25

and we would call it the land

15:27

of entrapment. Blow it just like kind

15:29

of get such. They're like. Going.

15:31

And like that we did. I

15:35

think. Homeless. Was as me. Caesar

15:39

a spot in Albuquerque that you

15:41

used to go to like your

15:43

hands your regular spot. whether it

15:45

be like I'm. Ah,

15:49

I'm. Tiny even think of them like. The

15:51

an A diner be places like the

15:53

cool thing about of their be all

15:55

these indie bands that would play there

15:57

and like on their way to allay

15:59

you know and they go the torso

16:02

like very be like the An Anti

16:04

in the L Re theater the launch

16:06

pad. so yeah i really go on

16:08

to the bars. Do. You still

16:10

do that now. You gotta see says now.

16:13

Using Now Now I don't I'm just

16:15

like is too loud. I'm still holds

16:17

I don't is my sad Allen Carr's

16:19

even listen and easy to in there

16:22

that in Paris and that's really sad.

16:24

I don't know, I don't know. I'll.

16:27

Have the too loud but I do. I. Can't.

16:29

Stand. I was

16:31

standing that wrong and oh yeah, Madison

16:34

is really the just went to have

16:36

a show at the Will Turn and

16:38

for the first time in my life

16:41

I got tickets in the lows sexes

16:43

our love above and I was like

16:45

this is a dream I won't I

16:48

do a known as the Best You.

16:50

I'm sitting down like forty seats up

16:52

there too right? Yeah, Who. Does

16:54

he does the. Tie Siegel.

16:58

Awesome! Of

17:01

Windsor right this way. And

17:03

I just need check your ideal.

17:06

Make sure that you are over

17:08

forty. Kind.

17:11

Of k good recently over already?

17:13

Yeah to. Sister. Thirty

17:15

yesterday as men are facts, sees

17:17

me just sent thirty yesterday as

17:20

urgency and forty any. forty Four

17:22

own. I think thirty. This. Year

17:25

when I sit down man I now

17:27

there's people are for either Really need

17:29

to set. A com? You know,

17:32

non union and yet it's. Lower

17:34

back on don't I'll start complaining

17:36

who us here. Man.

17:39

I'm here. I'm with my sister. Hi.

17:43

I'm forty one forty one

17:45

that those the most suspicious

17:47

a successful How I'm forty

17:49

one mommy as severe sort

17:51

of be ideal. Agree I

17:53

suppose I'm wearing in the

17:56

boat as the shirts the

17:58

you're wearing now didn't. Favorite

18:00

shirt I am I wearing want a

18:02

signature shirts them and as you can

18:05

still Animal Bar Adamson wearing the same

18:07

shirt every didn't know. His.

18:09

Efforts and never grows up. Complain

18:13

about curtains and general except

18:15

for purple a piece as

18:17

an appropriate yeah yeah it's

18:19

for I agree. I owe

18:21

my worry I've I on

18:23

the coming years now either.

18:25

Wow, less now because me

18:27

reference yeah I might be

18:29

over for the as move

18:31

guess now Rabbi and mentally

18:33

ill ah ah and then

18:36

offensive and Macmillan who is

18:38

Matt Taylor pews main target.

18:40

Whites. Ah,

18:42

Who is his? Success. In

18:46

Ruby one particular oh boy that

18:48

to happy of I feel

18:50

so bad for that character. He

18:54

mean pounding this one. It

18:56

was a black cat accidentally

18:58

had a white stripe. Oh

19:00

my god, wasn't that in

19:02

a mistake? and I. My

19:06

Now like I maddie like what

19:08

I'm like. I'm just. And

19:11

with some help with the swimmers

19:13

as talk really fast for people.

19:16

Above forty so way oh my

19:18

gosh I just had a coffee

19:20

allowed to smell the for you

19:22

and how he said there are

19:25

lactose intolerant yeah someone spikes a

19:27

celsius or with my top you

19:29

know I'm I'm a straight man

19:31

who really love I'm sorry we're

19:34

really standing here a long time

19:36

to as one of down on

19:38

organic players on on her Caesar

19:40

on onset. Rhyme.

19:44

Keep were my. generation above called but

19:46

so mad men who did okay eyes

19:49

yeah gone in there of music you

19:51

to move we did that oh my

19:53

god of just south of a scary

19:55

that was so he walked by some

19:58

real forty year olds and some

20:00

50 year olds and a 60 year

20:02

old. Wow.

20:06

Oh my sciatic nerve is killing

20:08

me. Ah

20:11

I have to rest my cocks

20:13

six here on

20:16

this soft. What is the what

20:18

material is this chair? Hmm is

20:20

this a nylon a vinyl it's not

20:23

a leatherette. It's definitely not a leatherette.

20:25

No nice pattern though nice pattern. Oh

20:27

I like the pattern. Two more Gen

20:29

Xers just showed up. Have

20:32

a seat. Oh

20:35

hi guys. Hi everyone.

20:37

Hello. Hi peers. Hello.

20:40

What's up blackers. Yeah.

20:42

Yeah. Gen X. Yeah.

20:44

Here we are. Yeah.

20:47

Oh man that was

20:50

an that was a movie. That definitely

20:52

was. Got me dates and confused right.

20:54

That's what I just said. Oh yeah.

20:56

Sure. Yes. So

21:02

my back hurts. What hurts with you guys. What

21:08

doesn't hurt honestly. Yeah truly.

21:11

Yeah seriously. Gonna go see a

21:13

doctor right after this. My

21:15

orthotics. My my orthotics I have

21:18

in my shoes are prescription. Mm

21:21

hmm. Yeah. Gotta wear these

21:23

Velcro shoes now. Yes. You

21:26

believe it. My arthritis.

21:28

I can't even tie my shoelaces. Yes.

21:32

Right. Okay cool. You guys are help.

21:35

Awesome. Yeah. Okay great.

21:37

Awesome. Amazing. So cool.

21:39

Whoo. So what are y'all

21:41

drinking huh. Oh Foster's Lager. That's

21:44

a big dar generation. Oh.

21:49

Yeah. Australian Fabey. Yeah. Oh

21:51

uh cans. The big cans.

21:53

Yeah. What are you guys

21:55

getting. Huh. Flop

21:57

sweat forms over there. They. They

22:00

know they can't order what they really

22:02

want. They just don't want to just

22:04

match the foster's locker order. They make

22:06

these big mouthfuls. They don't even have

22:08

that either. I would never

22:11

get an Aperol spritz. That's actually getting

22:13

a long time to order. I

22:18

thought you were going to say spritz. Should

22:20

we get a spritz down in our toilet? Here

22:22

come the waiter. We have to get a coster

22:25

in someone. Yeah, I guess we can. Here comes

22:27

the waiter. You better get your offer together. Oh,

22:29

there's a waiter up here. There's a waiter up

22:31

here? Oh my god, this is amazing.

22:34

You think you have to get up and go

22:37

to the bar? That would be impossible and wait

22:39

in the line. Yeah, seriously. Hello,

22:41

how do you do Garcon? You

22:44

guys ready to order? Yes, of course

22:46

we are. Garcon is French

22:48

for boy. That's from Pulp Fiction, guys. It

22:51

is, and that's a movie in our generation.

22:54

Yes, Pulp Fiction. Yay. Tarantino.

22:59

Anyway, the show's about to start, so what's

23:01

your order? Well,

23:03

my drug of choice

23:06

would be... Fertilize.

23:10

Fertilize. Who? Fertilize.

23:14

Fertilize. And we see a

23:16

50-year-old and a 54-year-old

23:19

next to the usher, and they're

23:21

pointing over to the seats now

23:23

occupied by these two obvious fucking

23:25

30-year-olds. I'm

23:27

certain those are our seats right there,

23:30

those two. Yeah, they're

23:32

sitting in our seats. Yes. Could

23:34

you help us if... I

23:37

need a bouncer here to deal with this. You're

23:39

not just saying a sitcom that was popular for our

23:41

generation. A

23:44

sitcom that was popular for our

23:46

generation? Well, I mean, are we

23:48

talking after school? You'd watch reruns

23:50

of like Good Time, All in

23:52

the Family. Yes, and you know,

23:54

and the cost be sure... We can't really

23:57

say that anymore, but... No. Oh,

24:00

silver spoon! What do you mean we're single

24:02

shit? What do you mean we're single shit?

24:04

Excuse me! I got two legit

24:06

gin extras here. Excuse me! Who the fuck

24:08

are you two? I'm offended! I'm more offended.

24:10

How dare you? Uh, who are we? Who

24:13

are we? We're getting a drink. We're getting a drink and

24:15

we're forty-one. We

24:19

love, um, a fusty, fusty, fusty. Oh, we love, um, a fusty, fusty,

24:21

fusty, fusty. And the show starts. Fusty. What's

24:23

going on? They're stealing our seats. Mom,

24:25

can somebody get them out of our

24:28

seats, please? Our REM starts to play.

24:30

Driver eight. And the

24:32

young people keep talking. What?

24:36

It's just... It's just... It's just...

24:38

Oh my god, it's just... It's just... It's

24:40

just... It's just... It's

24:42

just... It's just... It's

24:45

just... It's just... It's

24:47

just... It's just... It's

24:49

just... It's just... My god,

24:51

they're talking during Michael-type thing.

24:53

Definitely not. We wanted to get... We

24:55

wanted to get a... Uh, who is that guy?

25:10

Woah, sweet pancakes. Thanks. Serious

25:13

upgrade. How do you think for all this?

25:15

I got a home equity line of credit from

25:17

Piggar. I was approved in five minutes and had

25:19

funding in five days. Wow, that fast and easy?

25:21

Yep, the application is 100% online. Plus

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no out-of-pocket costs. Just fast

25:26

access to the cash you need. How do

25:28

I get started? Go to figure.com and get

25:30

that serious upgrade. Piggar Lending School CDBA

25:32

Piggar. Equal opportunity lenders. NMLS 171724.

25:36

Terms and conditions apply. Visit figure.com for more information. Relations

25:38

information. Go to www.nmls.com or access.org. Let's

25:40

talk some more about that. Yeah,

25:43

the sweet seats, Brett. It's worth it.

25:45

And you saw my post. My

25:48

Rare Threads post. Yeah,

25:51

man. I'm going to the No

25:53

Values concert. Which

25:56

has all these. It's so

25:58

funny how these concert these days. They

26:00

have certain concerts which are just totally

26:03

targeted to a certain age group

26:05

and This one

26:08

just hits my sweet spot. What is it?

26:10

Who's playing? so many good

26:12

bands And

26:17

I can away on the keyboard Exactly

26:23

what we just did I

26:26

was gonna share the

26:29

share the screenshot with

26:31

you. Okay. Let's do

26:33

it That

26:36

excuse worked Here

26:41

we go No

26:44

valleys Pomona Oh Hey

26:47

pop the original miss fit

26:49

bad relink and suicidal tendencies

26:52

What is banana? Aquabats

26:56

Niagara boys power trip

26:58

reformed When

27:00

the Aquabats is one of the younger bands?

27:03

Yes poster that was dirty. Well, I'm

27:07

black flag sublime, isn't

27:11

There they have the son

27:13

of The

27:17

dead really did Jesus lizard

27:19

this is so bananas Wait,

27:23

so Matt, who are you the most excited to

27:25

see here? Well, I've

27:28

seen seven of these bands before I've

27:32

seen one of those

27:34

distortion several times. Oh my

27:36

gosh This is banana.

27:38

Also check out. There's a blurred band. Who

27:40

is it? You

27:43

would think from the font you might be able to

27:45

get it. Yeah the blurred font,

27:47

but I've never seen The

27:52

adolescents before and I've

27:54

never seen the addicts before Or

27:58

the exploited so I guess those Is,

28:01

um, GJ by

28:03

Jello Biafra? Oh my

28:05

gosh. That sounds weird. I saw that. I

28:09

guess more like MC'd or something or maybe

28:12

there's another thing. So I

28:14

love that it's all ages. Yeah. Like,

28:16

like it's so funny. Bring

28:18

it in. Next song by

28:20

Jello by Afra by Beyonce.

28:25

But do you think the Blurred Band is really gonna

28:27

do it or they were just like that person canceled?

28:30

Oh. What? Or

28:32

you think it's a surprise? Surprise. It

28:34

is a surprise. Why wouldn't it be like

28:37

that? Why would they have it on there?

28:39

They couldn't get the artist to readjust the

28:41

post. Yeah. They were

28:43

like, it's all lined up. That

28:46

conversation. Yeah. No, no,

28:48

no. We're releasing tomorrow. I

28:50

need you guys just

28:52

to take it out, do an

28:54

edit and just take it out and make the

28:57

bands on that line bigger, I guess. No

28:59

can do, bro. No can do. Yeah. Listen,

29:02

we designed this in a very particular

29:04

way. We put a lot of thought,

29:06

a lot of thought went into this.

29:09

I know I guess to you, it

29:11

looks just like a black and white

29:13

mishmash of logos. I love it. But

29:15

the Mad Caddies cannot. Look,

29:18

did I show anyone? Did I get it? Hey, listen, Caesar,

29:20

you're the money guy. We hear you. We

29:23

hear you. We hear you. But

29:25

with all due respect, we're the graphic

29:27

artists here. Yeah, respect given to you,

29:29

Caesar. What are we going to do

29:31

about the fact that there's a band

29:33

name on here that will not be

29:36

at the concert? I don't know, bro. What's

29:38

your guy's solution to that? I would love

29:41

to help out, but I'm not a money

29:43

guy. I don't know. Don't call

29:45

me the money. I'm the market head of marketing. But

29:47

you're the money guy. You're the money

29:49

guy. You're the money guy. You're the money behind

29:51

it all. You start talking, all I hear is

29:54

ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. Okay. Yeah.

29:56

Okay, bro. I can do an edit of

29:59

this. So you give me the image and I think

30:01

I can do a little... What?

30:04

Our art? Whoa! What? Our

30:06

art? Hey, hey, hey, Bruce, you hear

30:08

this guy? This is our art. You hear this guy? This

30:11

is our art. I'll just do it. I'll just do it.

30:13

Like, we didn't go through five years of

30:15

schooling. Oh, you know... Through five?

30:18

Through internet training. You know what,

30:20

Caesar? I guess I'll just go to the bank

30:22

and get money. Yeah. How

30:24

does that sound to you? Huh? That's my

30:26

job. I go to the bank and just get piles

30:28

of cash. Yeah. You're the

30:30

money guy. Respectfully, I'm not going

30:33

to somebody's house, breaking their piggy

30:35

banks and taking their coins, okay?

30:37

No. Respectfully. That's what

30:39

you do. Respectfully. I want

30:41

to respect your art. Just give me a solution that's not

30:44

gonna piss off the van that's not gonna

30:46

be there. Wait, which one is it gonna

30:48

be there? Mad Caddies. They can't make this

30:50

guy. Mad Caddies, okay. That's the third row.

30:52

Let's see. There's one, two, three, four, five,

30:54

six. Do you see Bruce? It throws off

30:56

the equilibrium of the ticket. Yeah.

30:58

It's got... What if I

31:00

gave you another band name

31:03

that will be there? Okay,

31:05

it's gotta have the same letters. The

31:07

same letters and the... Well... The

31:09

Anti-Nowhere League. Caesar. My guy,

31:12

Caesar. Wait, who? The Anti-Nowhere League.

31:14

Oh, I know. Why is it so long? That's even more words than

31:17

the other ones. Why is it that you can make the font smaller?

31:20

See? Oh, no. Oh,

31:23

okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

31:25

It's like, hey, it's like, Bruce, who am I? Who am I? Why

31:27

don't you... Why am I giving... Why should I...

31:30

I'm gonna give you tips on something that I've

31:32

never done before. Yeah. You should

31:34

do it. Who am I? Who

31:37

am I? You're... Chaching, chaching, money

31:39

guy. Respectfully, of course, Caesar. Respectfully,

31:41

Caesar. No disrespect. No disrespect at

31:43

all. But, like, disrespect our work.

31:46

Like, I don't know if you understand, but

31:48

this is a 16-point font. Okay?

31:52

Yeah. Okay. What does

31:54

that mean to you? What does that mean to

31:57

you? It's already on the poster that has a

31:59

similar amount of... letters and just have it

32:01

go up twice on the poster. What?

32:05

You want to put them twice? You

32:07

want to be like, oh, they're going to perform? People will

32:09

be like, what is going on?

32:13

They would be like, this clearly is a mistake

32:15

on the graphic artist part. They have the same

32:17

band twice. What if I make an

32:19

announcement that they are going to play twice? Just

32:21

to fix this mistake, I will do that. I

32:23

will have to do an exercise. You promise, you

32:25

swear you will have to do it. You have

32:28

to do it. You have to swear on your

32:30

money. Our reputation,

32:32

the flyer guy's

32:34

reputation is on the

32:36

line. Respectfully, we

32:39

spent decades. Is it misinformation part of

32:41

a reputation so you don't want to

32:43

put the misinformation that the Mad Caddies

32:45

are going to be there? See, that's

32:47

like your issue. That's

32:49

like not on us. That's like

32:52

not on us. We were told that

32:54

that band was performing and so we

32:56

did the job. We did the job.

32:58

And honestly, with all due respect, our

33:00

job stops now. We

33:03

did the product. We did it. We

33:06

delivered. That's the solution. I'm just

33:08

going to blur it out. Wait,

33:11

what? You're going to blur it out? How do you

33:13

intend to do that? What? You're going to

33:15

blur it out? Like on a pair of

33:17

boots or something? Like

33:20

it's a pair of, you know, with all due

33:22

respect tits. Yeah, with

33:24

all due respect, a pair of bizongas.

33:27

Boobs was enough. A pair of boobs. Like it's

33:30

a pair of boobs on the poster. I'm

33:32

sorry, what? It's confusing though. Don't you think people

33:34

will think it's a pair of boobs? Yeah, they'll

33:37

look at the thing. They'll go, oh, porn. Yeah.

33:39

They'll be like, what's going on? Is there a

33:41

line? No, they'll think it's a band that they'll

33:44

probably think it's a mystery band, like a

33:47

surprise band. Well, kind of an idiot would

33:49

think it was a mystery band. Honestly, respectfully,

33:51

we don't want to try it right now,

33:53

Caesar. But

33:55

Like that's stupid, sir. Yeah, that's like,

33:57

that's like, which is false. The

34:00

name ever hurt you and that wisely

34:02

riband as any be announced later he

34:04

has lowered you to think of as

34:06

board I used to. I'd say I

34:09

think you assess absolute messes. With

34:12

Annapurna. One hundred percent

34:14

I must say look bad thing that people

34:16

think there's gonna be to answer. Was.

34:18

In there better be tits. They're like

34:21

see I was selling off. A better

34:23

view is when we get subsidized. We

34:25

cut to the and near the end

34:27

of the long festival day. The

34:30

last bands play this encore

34:32

songs. Are. Very

34:34

wrong with Iran and for the

34:36

accept. Welfare

34:44

compares on the poster or offering

34:47

you think that was a mystery

34:49

band? Money on the megaphone. We're.

34:53

Not. Far

34:56

now I. See

35:00

we. Told.

35:14

Closer. And.

35:17

Later on they memory gutsy at

35:19

the festival but like three hours

35:21

later in Pomona there and in

35:23

a garage and are going to

35:25

this old trying to me. At

35:28

the bottom the trump as see this

35:30

old playboy. With. Have

35:33

filled with. Knows

35:36

things, That

35:39

the fuck are these things? These are blurred out at all. What The

35:41

fuck? You. do

35:45

i don't know but it's gross

35:47

it's get rid of it is

35:49

grossly obese sir like a cow

35:51

with one on earth and had

35:53

sort it's growth of blink the

35:56

freaky i'm scared honestly of the

35:58

hold me Crap

36:11

on YouTube. You want,

36:13

I would love to go to our Discord page

36:15

where some members of

36:17

Improv for Humans have on crap on YouTube

36:19

if you don't mind Brett. But

36:21

let's do the one, the public freakout

36:23

one, the one at the very bottom.

36:26

This looks like it's at a, well it doesn't look like

36:28

it. It is at a town council meeting where

36:31

every town's weirdos goes to say their

36:34

piece, right? While

36:36

he's looking that up, have you guys ever been to a real

36:39

live town meeting? No,

36:42

they scare me. No. I

36:45

have many times. Really? Have

36:47

many times? Well, a couple

36:49

of times for pranks on

36:51

the UCB. But also

36:54

when opening the theater in

36:57

LA, we had to go to

37:00

these council

37:02

meetings to... Like present? Permission

37:05

to open the theater. I forgot exactly

37:07

what we were doing. But

37:09

there, and we went to several

37:11

meetings by the way, because we had to keep going

37:13

back. And every

37:16

meeting someone said something where you're like, you

37:18

gotta be fucking kidding me. And

37:21

God bless this council for just

37:23

sitting here and nodding and not

37:26

saying, all right, that's ridiculous next. We don't

37:28

have time for this. Wow.

37:31

The one I remember is a guy talking about,

37:34

we need to make a line,

37:39

like a painted line that's painted

37:41

on the streets, and

37:44

this is in Hollywood, of Hollywood. It

37:48

was something about the border of

37:50

Hollywood and the different colors that

37:52

need to go into the paint

37:54

to represent the ethnicity of Hollywood.

37:58

And Everyone's like going, mmm. And

38:00

people coming with like real problems are

38:02

like in mind to talk about sports

38:05

and problems. Pray and this guy's in

38:07

own an older guy and I think

38:09

it would be great to have the

38:11

painted why is it ruins your okay

38:13

you know. How

38:16

to the thing that we're going on argue about

38:18

the next second? Three hours in this is what

38:20

is seen as on. But

38:22

was every and. And

38:25

more than one. Just eat and these

38:27

guys would have to speak patient. Okay,

38:29

For. Brett more about the Sea is actually

38:32

one of the board or the school board

38:34

member on says is in town Council. Is

38:37

that this is a school board member, not

38:39

some When talking to them. Go ahead. Brett

38:41

Evidence. For a partner

38:44

know how isis as a

38:46

proof of worth of work

38:49

for this for because prices

38:51

are revolution of her and

38:53

something thing. Is

38:56

when exists which is not meant

38:58

to monitor or this pressure to

39:00

proceed as it is the refs

39:02

were going. As

39:04

saw, we have to accept freezes

39:07

because they're literally. I've.

39:11

Been saying that has to be hunting

39:13

for his name in passing human since

39:15

gonna come around. With his to

39:17

Humans and nine Humans I used to say

39:19

to beginning of every episode this is for

39:21

Humans It only. And

39:24

really brasserie saying it more and more

39:26

these fucking A I sat there especially

39:28

goddamn Hollywood transect our jobs since these

39:30

are demons. Yeah,

39:32

you're right, but keep going

39:34

which are in humans though

39:36

still versus both, keep going

39:38

to skin a lot better.

39:40

Personally prefer comments to know

39:43

I'm sorry. I'm running a board meeting and I

39:45

don't allow that in the board. Meeting Ah, twelve of

39:47

the what I think. I don't know why

39:49

think like this, but every time I look

39:51

at some of these you remind me of

39:54

big birds. Or

39:56

of tasks. Of

39:58

his that funnier. Our you just

40:00

this is up for it. I don't know what

40:03

to think, it's just. I. Just

40:05

want to show that we see because that's what

40:07

I think about birth. Thank.

40:11

You. For

40:18

two hundred ninety lag in

40:20

Weymouth. I. Saw the title when

40:22

someone call someone from my So Big

40:24

Bird to fight off someone's calling him

40:27

a Big bird there are you wearing

40:29

a yellow sure I spray and the

40:31

way he flipped the script on us

40:34

whoop Yeah that would make sense as

40:36

you gotta have also made us lazy

40:38

if you look at his on his

40:40

name plaque says method says clerk. Yeah.

40:44

I mean I mean it doesn't seem like

40:46

he's on. a member is a guy next

40:48

to him and says member under his name

40:51

like he's a member of the Border the

40:53

school district and Mack Isis is the clerk

40:55

i think soccer his ass off as as

40:58

a clerk. Precisely

41:00

nothing unless it's easy going somewhere

41:02

else and like kind of great

41:04

sound right now my time is

41:06

an hour. to this day. Ominous

41:08

speak up. as I mean, isn't

41:10

that Leonard Members I see an

41:12

hour or two words. With in

41:15

the dirt in their kind of backroom.

41:18

Hey. Guys can we talk about how that

41:20

a school board meetings? To. Kind

41:22

of our ran and seem like

41:24

they had a real breakdown of order

41:26

today. Cc don't mind me saying her

41:29

teeth, what the fuck happened there

41:31

I loved it. You I loved it.

41:33

I finally got to say my

41:35

piece but I mean I know the

41:37

answer. You're not here no sense

41:39

but year Nice here to say your

41:42

piece. Like. We're all

41:44

elected school board members. Yeah,

41:46

Sarah term that were elected

41:48

for right? Hired? By.

41:51

our district just to write down everything

41:53

were saying keep the minutes we you

41:55

guys get to talk all the time

41:58

i've sat through hours and Hours

42:00

of meetings. Yeah, just writing down

42:02

what you're saying making sure we

42:04

get to the next point of

42:06

order I hear that I

42:08

hear that but you know what?

42:10

Yeah, I see. Mm-hmm. We're the control

42:14

They're the chaos and what you

42:16

did today is that I married them. I

42:18

married them I married chaos

42:20

to control and that's what we have

42:22

to do as human beings

42:25

because these demons are coming

42:30

Oh my god, stop poking me in the eye

42:36

And put down the cookie tray These

42:39

are my get to keep the

42:41

leftover cookies. I take the leftover

42:43

cookies. I did I

42:50

yeah, I am the last word here five

42:52

years ago You've been working here

42:54

the longest out of anyone and I get

42:57

that man. That's my point it that's my

42:59

point Later by the coffee when chase isn't

43:01

around. Hey, I know chase

43:03

is a little nutty but yeah Look

43:07

you you make a declaration

43:09

every meeting that you control the comments.

43:11

This is your meeting. There's no comments.

43:13

I Think

43:15

you let the comments get out out

43:17

of control today. You want me to

43:19

start welcoming in comments? No at the

43:22

opposite It's a chase like comments galore.

43:24

You need to control the comments you

43:26

brag about not a Knew

43:29

the crap tweet tweet tweet. Oh

43:31

my god What

43:34

what the hell is going on over here? Couple

43:37

of birds couple of birds over here

43:39

tweet tweet. Oh Are

43:42

you big birds? Hi, mr. Hooper?

43:45

Welcome to sesame Street. Is that what you

43:48

are? Chase chase chase.

43:50

Nothing's no room down in the

43:52

minutes here. What are you serious?

43:54

Nothing? Just everyone's a

43:57

bird tweet tweet I

43:59

I think he gets the point across, doesn't it? No,

44:03

it doesn't. You know, I will say- Look,

44:05

you guys are all hung up on the

44:07

fact that this kid got run over by

44:09

a bus. Big deal!

44:11

Whoopsie-doo! Okay? And our

44:13

meeting with the- We need to have either

44:15

a stoplight or a stop sign, and the

44:18

debate needs to end today. You

44:20

know what the stop sign- We cut back after recess. All

44:22

right. School

44:25

board and parents and

44:27

everyone here, please come to order. We're just

44:29

gonna have final comments on whether it should

44:32

be a stop sign or a stop light.

44:34

Who would like to go first? I'll

44:37

start. Go ahead. And as

44:39

you all know, my name is

44:41

Claudia Wexler, and I am in

44:43

favor for the stop

44:46

sign. A light

44:48

will uglify this beautiful city

44:50

of Tino, and will

44:52

destroy what we love and hold dear. A

44:55

stop sign is aesthetically

44:57

pleasing, a bold color, and as

44:59

you know, I just study undergrad

45:01

in fashion design, so I know

45:03

my colors, thank you very much.

45:05

So in conclusion, a stop sign

45:08

is a sign that

45:10

Tino is one of the best cities in California. Thank

45:12

you, have a nice day. All

45:17

right. My name is

45:19

Simon. And

45:21

as you all know, I'm a long

45:24

time proponent of a

45:27

stop light. And

45:30

I know, Claudia, you

45:32

feel that the bold color, which I

45:34

agree, red is a bold, awesome

45:37

color, which is also in a stop light,

45:39

but it also features the peaceful color

45:43

of green and

45:46

the cautioning color of yellow,

45:48

which I think is a nice

45:50

variety that this community not

45:54

only desires, but

45:57

needs. Thank you. Hello

46:01

everyone, thank you for your time. As

46:04

you know. Speak up! I'm sorry. You're

46:06

making a mic. Thank you for

46:08

your time. Mouth to the mic!

46:10

Mouth to the mic! I'm sorry,

46:13

thank you everyone. Thanks

46:15

for your time. You really got to put your mouth to

46:17

the mic, honey. Okay.

46:20

Thank you everyone. Thanks for your time.

46:22

Not that much. Oh God, get a

46:24

new mic screen. Hi. Here

46:27

you go. Here's another microphone. You slobbered this

46:29

one. Okay. Thank you.

46:32

I'll try and talk a little bit

46:34

louder. Hello everyone. No, you're good. You're

46:37

good. As you know, my

46:39

name is Donna

46:42

McKenna and

46:44

my son Michael was killed at

46:47

that intersection. Oh,

46:49

I forgot that. I

46:52

regret getting her so much shit out of her.

46:55

Oh shit. Fuck. You

46:57

sound great. I

47:00

want to thank you all for... You don't

47:02

have to put your mouth to the mic anymore. If

47:04

you don't want to, take a step back. You could

47:06

be shy again. Okay. I

47:09

just want everyone to know

47:11

that I'm grateful. Uh-huh. You go

47:13

girl. Yeah, that's

47:15

right. And I

47:18

would love it if there was a

47:20

stop sign and a stop light and

47:23

we could actually name the

47:26

intersection after my son. Gaylord?

47:32

Gaylord Memorial Intersection.

47:35

So is it the name of one

47:38

of the streets or one

47:40

street is named Gay and the other one's

47:42

Lord? Or you actually name

47:44

the intersection and the streets keep the

47:46

same name? My son's name was Gaylord,

47:48

his first name was Gaylord. Pay

47:51

attention, brother. That was literally... We

47:54

kept chuckling about that, remember? And

47:58

I don't know if he was... being bullied

48:00

at the time that he was struck, but

48:03

that could be likely. Um, anyway,

48:06

I think that it would help

48:09

to save other children's lives

48:11

because I can't save my gay

48:14

Lord. And we

48:16

see that Chase hasn't been writing down

48:18

any of the minutes and he's just

48:21

been doing this weird scrawled drawing of

48:23

a, of a, of a bird and

48:25

a human wrestling. Chase,

48:28

write down what the constituents are

48:30

saying that's important. No. I've

48:33

had enough! I've had enough! Oh

48:35

my gosh! What

48:38

you people don't seem to understand is

48:40

that it's birds versus humans! And the

48:42

birds are winning! Up

48:45

to the mic, mouth to the mic please! The birds

48:47

are winning! Jump

49:00

on YouTube. How about

49:02

that other video, Brett, which

49:05

is the, the, the

49:07

Saskatchewan weather rant? Sheila,

49:10

please, please, please

49:12

don't tell us how nice it's going to be

49:14

this weekend because it's going to go up to

49:16

minus one. Okay? Please.

49:19

Because it's not going to be nice

49:21

because the fricking wind is just going

49:23

to howl. Okay? So the

49:25

first time it warms up, the hot air

49:28

rises and the wind just howls. So it

49:30

ain't going to be nice. And

49:32

being a person that lives rurally, I can

49:34

tell you that when it's 30 below,

49:37

okay, Celsius, you can take your

49:39

mitts off for half an hour

49:41

and do things outside. Okay?

49:44

When there's no wind blowing at 30 below. But

49:47

when it is zero

49:49

or minus five even, okay, you take

49:51

your mitts off and your hands freeze

49:53

instantly. So I can tell you, okay,

49:56

this weekend is going to be the

49:58

physical shit. Okay? The

50:00

wind's gonna be howling and then it's

50:02

gonna be only minus one So then

50:05

it's gonna melt and has a bunch

50:07

of hog slop. So knock off how

50:09

nice it's gonna be, please Okay, it's

50:11

just sickening. Okay, this problem is the

50:13

asshole of the world and it'll suck

50:16

the life idea Okay, it'll suck

50:18

the will to live idea Okay,

50:20

because it's just a piece of crap with

50:22

wind howling every day and you're not hiking

50:25

You're not doing anything The

50:30

world and we pay to live here Please

50:32

consider this To live here the second time

50:34

super high taxes So

50:37

please knock off the nice. Okay, I got

50:39

I get the funny feeling that you guys

50:41

are just saying that so that people Won't

50:43

just end it. Okay, then of course, they

50:46

wouldn't be able to pay their taxes to

50:48

these lectures, right? You know people

50:50

go hang themselves in a goddamn closet.

50:52

Okay, cuz this fucking place is up.

50:55

He says Okay, so

50:57

please please please Knock

50:59

off how nice it's gonna

51:01

be because the winds gonna be

51:04

all okay. Thank you. Bye Love

51:10

that one. I think we did I got

51:12

this on the true detective

51:14

discussion of Ennis, Alaska a little

51:17

bit Hmm, I'm sure it's

51:19

an entitled, California perspective

51:23

But I can't see living there. I just

51:25

feel like I feel

51:27

like the government should have a big Airplane

51:30

that goes up there once a year and goes

51:32

we're given a free trip To

51:37

the United States let you live

51:39

in North Dakota that's It

51:45

seems so miserable and that

51:48

guy says it he's not a character on true

51:50

detective he lives there Yeah,

51:53

it's like I'm talking from a place of absolute

51:55

privilege when I say this but it's like why

51:58

don't you move Like it

52:01

just sucks to like be from

52:03

this a place like this and

52:05

just stay in a place like

52:07

this knowing That it's

52:09

horrible every single day This

52:12

man has had enough Well

52:14

to me like watching through detective. It seemed like

52:17

they're used to it Yeah,

52:19

like to them. It's like oh, yeah, it's kind

52:21

of called out or whatever and it's dark all

52:23

the time But it seemed a

52:25

little bit like they're like, oh you just put your

52:27

parka on and you're used to it And

52:31

I lived in Chicago the you know,

52:33

the very low-fi version of that Midwest

52:37

version of Venice, Alaska,

52:40

but it is the windy city it is fucking

52:42

miserable During

52:44

certain times in the winter and it

52:47

does weigh down on your shoulders,

52:49

you know, New York City does that a little

52:51

bit too But Chicago is the physical cold of

52:54

it Feel it in your back

52:56

and your shoulders Do you not and

52:58

that has to be nothing compared to

53:00

where this guy is from or in

53:03

Alaska? Right, or as you say

53:06

Is their body just built for it? And I

53:08

don't know that's what I'm that's what I'm curious

53:10

about because it's like I Don't

53:13

know. Why would you I guess

53:15

people are raised there and it's like your

53:17

way of life or I? Don't

53:20

know guys. I don't like you don't fall in there.

53:22

It's not like yeah, we're being ignorant About

53:25

another people. It's like this guy's from there.

53:27

He's writing from their face sucks We

53:30

don't know why he won't leave Let's

53:34

stop bullshitting this I

53:36

think I think that there's two kinds

53:38

of people, you know It's the people who put

53:40

their parkas on like Pam was saying and that's

53:42

like the weather report person who was like It's

53:45

gonna be a nice day And then there's other

53:47

people who are sort of who

53:49

won't put their parkas on and realize it's like oh

53:52

It's non-stop howling and freezing cold in this

53:54

asshole of a city So I'm gonna say

53:56

something so it all depends on what kind

53:58

of person you are We cut

54:00

through the local diner. There

54:03

she is. That's Lisa. Hey,

54:05

hey, hey, don't say anything, okay?

54:07

You sent that phone message, that's

54:09

enough, all right? But

54:12

I, so with that, I was a coward for not doing

54:14

it face to face, and I'm not threatening. Another

54:18

beautiful day in Saskatchewan. Don't listen to her, don't

54:20

listen to her, then she's egging you on. She

54:22

knows that you're here, and she wants to go

54:24

to, wants to roll you up. Oh.

54:29

And we're going live in three, two,

54:31

oh. Hi,

54:34

welcome to Good

54:36

Day Saskatchewan. I'm

54:38

reporting to you

54:41

from Dina's Diner,

54:44

where Dina has something to keep you

54:46

warm on a bit of a chilly

54:48

day, just a smidge. Dina,

54:51

tell us about your- I literally

54:53

lost a toe with frostbite today.

54:55

Oh, sorry. Oh,

54:57

hi, sir, I'm sorry. Are

55:00

you enjoying the chili? Mark, don't do

55:02

that. Are you enjoying the chili? She's putting a microphone

55:04

to your damn face, don't say a single thing, be

55:06

nice. We come in here

55:08

and eat this chili for

55:10

survival. If we're honest, it

55:13

tastes like dog turds. It

55:15

tastes fine, isn't it? It's dirt and gravel,

55:17

Mark. But at least it's

55:19

warm, and it keeps- I lost another

55:21

toe today. I'm

55:24

down to four toes. And

55:26

total, that's total. Good

55:28

for you, for you. Is

55:31

that a pun? You chugging around by my toes? That's

55:34

total. Oh, that's funny. Actually, that's actually

55:36

funny. No, it's not funny. Okay, I'll tell you about

55:38

it. The weather's not funny around here. Mark,

55:41

that's stand up. Just some more

55:43

colorful characters here at

55:45

Dina's Diner. Sir.

55:48

I heard what you ordered earlier, the eggs,

55:50

sunny side up. That shouldn't

55:52

even be- your studying shouldn't

55:54

be legal in this goddamn

55:56

town. Well, sometimes when I'm

55:58

missing this, son. I like to look down

56:01

at my plate and see it. Ha ha

56:03

ha. Over hard. That's the

56:05

only way the city can order eggs.

56:08

That's our life. Over hard. Oh,

56:11

sir, I know you said you didn't

56:14

like the chili, that it's like dog

56:16

food, dirt, and gravel. But some people

56:18

happen to love dog food, dirt, and

56:20

gravel. Ooh, mind if I stick my

56:23

spoon in yours? Mmm.

56:25

Mmm. Yummy. Mmm.

56:28

Mmm. It's live TV. Don't say

56:30

anything ridiculous, okay? It's like sitting next to a hard...

56:32

Please don't curse. Yeah, you, Mark, don't say

56:35

anything crazy. It's like sitting

56:37

next to a warm hearth taking a

56:39

bite of that chili. Thanks,

56:41

Dina. And

56:43

they stopped the weather report, and she

56:46

goes over with her. And

56:48

we're cutting. All right, good job. Great job.

56:51

Hey, can I talk to you for a second? Me,

56:53

the cameraman? No, not you. Thanks, Andrew.

56:55

You did a good job. Thanks again.

56:57

Okay. Thanks again. Me?

57:01

Yeah, you. You. What,

57:03

you want to pay for my chili? Mark, come on.

57:05

No, I don't want to pay for your fucking chili.

57:07

I recognize your voice. Whoa, whoa. You left me

57:09

that message. I recognize your voice. Yeah,

57:11

me. And I know

57:14

you were trying to ruin my weather

57:16

forecast here at the diner. This is

57:19

my first time out in the field, okay? And

57:21

you're trying to throw a wrench in it. You're

57:23

preaching lies. Why don't you be real like this when

57:25

you're on air? Yeah. All the

57:27

bullshit. I call all the bullshit. I call all the

57:29

bullshit. Let me tell you something, fucko. Oh. Something

57:32

you don't know about. The people

57:34

in for

57:37

the 100 mile radius surrounding us. Yeah.

57:39

They didn't have me come on and

57:41

tell them what a great place this

57:43

is and what a great

57:46

place to live and how it's a

57:48

nice day and how sunny it is.

57:50

They would fucking kill themselves.

57:53

Hey Meredith, it's me, the cameraman. They

57:55

want to go do another live segment

57:57

where you interview someone. Okay? Okay.

58:00

Seven, three, two. And

58:03

we're back at Dina's Diner, where

58:05

there's always something warm on the

58:08

grill. Hey,

58:10

excuse me, sir. So how

58:12

are you enjoying today? Pretty

58:15

warm in the negative ones,

58:17

huh? Well,

58:20

I just lost my young

58:23

nephew this week in ice fishing. He fell through a

58:25

thin place in the ice and

58:27

I followed him down the river current underneath

58:30

the ice and I couldn't get to him. I

58:35

feel back, he didn't even live here. I convinced

58:37

him to come here for a week to visit me. Why,

58:40

where he lives? Well,

58:42

see, that's one of the downfalls of having

58:44

only negative one, is that the

58:46

ice spins out. That's

58:48

why it's great when it's below seven,

58:50

we don't have that thin ice. That

58:53

is true. I'd rather have thick dependable

58:55

ice all year round than it get too

58:57

warm and thin out the ice

58:59

and spots that I can't get to. I know, isn't

59:01

it great when it's negative 30 and

59:03

we have thick ice? But you know what?

59:06

Rest easy knowing that your nephew went into

59:08

shock and didn't really feel

59:10

anything. I'm not sure what's going on with

59:12

this ice. I'm not sure what's going

59:14

on with this ice. I

59:17

don't know what's going on with this ice. I don't know

59:19

what's going on with this ice. I don't know what's going

59:21

on with this ice. I don't know what's going

59:23

on with this ice. I don't know what's going on with

59:25

this ice. Let's talk

59:27

some more about that. Those

59:30

were some great craps on

59:33

video, on YouTube, I guess. Brett

59:37

was very happy. But now

59:39

I'm looking for one word. I love when he's stuck to his

59:41

howl words. The wind will be

59:43

howling howling howling. I don't know what's

59:45

going on with that. That was his

59:48

problem. The

59:50

wind. Was the howling more than

59:52

the cold? The howling of the wind. The

59:55

howling of the wind. What's

1:00:00

something else like that? It's

1:00:03

the sound that bugs you more than

1:00:05

anything. It's your opinion on gas Leaf

1:00:08

blowers. No illegal in Glendale. Oh Really?

1:00:13

Are they really? Yeah, gas

1:00:16

leaf blowers, but you can have electric

1:00:18

ones You can't have gas on the

1:00:20

electric ones. Is that environmental or

1:00:22

is it noise? I think it's both I think

1:00:24

they're a little bit quieter and it is a

1:00:27

little bit better Quieter it's

1:00:29

a lot quieter. Oh, yeah

1:00:32

I feel like there should be a window of time

1:00:34

every week that You're only allowed

1:00:36

to do leaf blowing like so everyone can

1:00:38

set their schedules to it And

1:00:41

then this is the time when it's gonna happen.

1:00:43

Yeah Yeah We

1:01:15

cut to 30 minutes after leaf

1:01:17

blower hours some of the neighbors are

1:01:19

milling about in the Millers Street Hey,

1:01:23

man, you ran into my house with a

1:01:25

life floor that was fucked up

1:01:28

Anything goes bro Why

1:01:31

my house? You

1:01:33

know, I'm the point is, you know, I'm time

1:01:35

to get your leaves in order. No I'm

1:01:38

doing everything your neighbor The

1:01:41

rules of leaf purge are not

1:01:44

you get to blow leaves You

1:01:46

get to use a leaf blower in

1:01:48

any way that you want for

1:01:51

that time leaf blower It's in the it's

1:01:53

in the title of the

1:01:55

object. It's for blowing leaves You blew

1:01:57

my fucking living room all over the

1:01:59

place You blew anything

1:02:01

on the floor the good thing

1:02:03

below leaves. It's this youth leaf

1:02:06

blower They blow leaves

1:02:08

the leaf blower per has begun

1:02:17

March 29 Damn

1:02:26

the double leaf per Let

1:02:30

me in Breaking

1:02:37

into your house, too Cut

1:02:41

the half hour outside the second

1:02:43

leaf purge Okay

1:02:45

now now I'm gonna get legal. I can't

1:02:48

find my dog. I Can't

1:02:50

find my fucking pick any you guys

1:02:53

either killed it or leaf blew it

1:02:55

out a window Okay, that's not you

1:02:57

you you have nothing in court my

1:03:00

buddy. Yeah, you got nothing in

1:03:03

court my buddy You

1:03:06

got nothing, okay, okay I

1:03:10

didn't see anything we cut to the

1:03:12

jury deliberating this court case on that

1:03:14

and they've been deliberating it for Three

1:03:17

weeks and I'll get really impatient Damn

1:03:22

it read the law Says

1:03:26

it's a leaf blower Bonanza

1:03:29

it literally says leaf blower penance.

1:03:31

It doesn't say anything about Knowing

1:03:33

we're all on the same page.

1:03:35

You're number six except for one

1:03:37

asshole You're number 11 Don't

1:03:41

you see what happened? If

1:03:43

you stop if you first it's blowing dishes

1:03:45

on to the kitchen floor the next thing

1:03:47

you know It's it's gonna be someone's baby

1:03:50

It's gonna be people going into people's

1:03:53

houses with with leaf blowers and

1:03:55

just going right to a Baby

1:03:57

and killing it with a leaf blower that

1:03:59

are is to decide if

1:04:01

they broke the law or not. And

1:04:03

they didn't. And they followed

1:04:05

the law juror number 11. And

1:04:08

honestly juror number 11, secure the damn

1:04:10

baby. All right? If you care

1:04:12

about it so much. Don't let it all willy

1:04:14

nilly on the purge. Look, and if you want

1:04:16

to make a difference, don't make a difference. We

1:04:19

cut to a contractor with a couple

1:04:22

of months before the next leaf purge.

1:04:25

Yeah, we're doing this in every, a

1:04:27

lot of houses now that with newborns,

1:04:29

you definitely want to have a

1:04:32

safety room for the one hour leaf

1:04:34

purge. You never teens these

1:04:37

days will crawl

1:04:39

up a tree, crawl on your window

1:04:41

just to get at your baby with a leaf purge.

1:04:43

Just to get at my baby? Wow, that seems barbaric.

1:04:45

Oh my gosh. Yeah, so we definitely. We

1:04:48

move it to TikTok and what it

1:04:50

does to their brains. Jeez, I, well,

1:04:52

okay. Well then we definitely, sweetie, we

1:04:55

definitely need to get this safe for

1:04:57

the baby. Honey, you said you wanted to move

1:04:59

to Albuquerque. I don't like this town and it's

1:05:01

weird rules. Look

1:05:04

at this architecture. It's all one story. It's

1:05:06

beautiful. It is beautiful. Which makes it easy.

1:05:08

We'll go into the safe room. Okay.

1:05:12

Okay. Oh, I love this episode of different

1:05:14

strokes. Oh,

1:05:17

this is so good. So good. They

1:05:19

see they're watching the Gen

1:05:21

X streamer. Wow. They

1:05:25

get so caught up in this classic

1:05:28

half hour sitcom that they.

1:05:31

Don't go with him Arnold. Don't

1:05:33

go with him. That's a bad idea Arnold.

1:05:35

Don't do it. The leaf purge. Honey.

1:05:38

The leaf purge begins. They look around. They can't

1:05:40

see their baby. Where's the baby?

1:05:43

Oh my gosh. Honey, honey. Honey,

1:05:45

honey. Honey, honey. We

1:05:49

cut the local teens from the

1:05:52

neighborhood putting on Nixon masks and

1:05:54

revving up their leaf blowers. Oh

1:05:56

yeah. Hide your babies. It's

1:06:00

the bad nicks and boys on

1:06:02

TikTok and we're gonna ransack someone's

1:06:05

house and blow their babies away

1:06:13

And they're trying to find their they're in a

1:06:15

panic inside trying to find their baby and they

1:06:17

hear the baby upstairs

1:06:20

Playing on roadblocks, which is video

1:06:22

game, honey. Why did you

1:06:24

build a second story? It was against code We

1:06:31

have a six-month-old baby who plays

1:06:33

roadblocks a video game come on.

1:06:36

He's a genius You're

1:06:39

right. He'll figure you know what

1:06:41

this baby's gonna suddenly the wind

1:06:44

hits their face really hard You

1:06:52

hear the howling of the leaf blower

1:06:54

baby we got Nixon boys It's a

1:06:56

big boy. You know how we know you

1:06:58

got a baby your second story

1:07:01

on your house Now

1:07:04

let's see the baby Human

1:07:19

to unlock the bonus scene

1:07:21

you must subscribe to the ad free version

1:07:24

of the show exclusively

1:07:26

available at temporal for humans calm

1:07:28

and And

1:07:31

saying humans this has been a lot

1:07:33

of fun Oscar Pam, thanks

1:07:35

for coming on Pam. What's the name of

1:07:37

that show that you're on this? Krabopolis

1:07:40

crap obel is crap obel is on Fox

1:07:42

Sunday's at 830 Yeah,

1:07:44

excellent plug Oscar. What would you like

1:07:46

to plug? I

1:07:49

have a new podcast

1:07:51

called eurovangelis and it's

1:07:53

all about the Eurovision song contest where

1:07:57

myself Dimitri Pompey and Jeremy Benton about

1:08:01

everything about your vision. It's very fun. Listen

1:08:03

to it wherever you listen to podcasts. It's

1:08:05

great. You're evangelist. Follow us on

1:08:07

Instagram and X. That's

1:08:10

very cool. Did Johnny Rotten participate in that?

1:08:12

Or am I imagining that? No,

1:08:15

he didn't. But it would have been cool. Brett,

1:08:21

would you like to plug anything beyond? What

1:08:23

on Improv for Humans do I

1:08:25

not mention that should be plugged

1:08:27

beyond the 40 fan initiative, the

1:08:30

fact that you get bonus content,

1:08:32

it's ad free, it's just a

1:08:35

$40 subscription. That goes to paying

1:08:37

our improvisers, really, and keeping the

1:08:40

roof from leaking during these rainy

1:08:42

times. If you refer for people,

1:08:45

you have a referral link in your account. If

1:08:47

you get four other people to sign up, you

1:08:49

get a discount on your own

1:08:51

membership. That would be the way to move one of

1:08:53

these cities up to 40 right there. Yeah, there we go. You

1:08:56

can gift a scene to someone. The

1:09:00

cast is going well, and those are

1:09:02

fun, the gift of scenes. You give

1:09:04

a video story, and

1:09:06

then we do a scene based on that. The

1:09:09

stories have all been delightful,

1:09:11

for real. All

1:09:14

right, humans, keep being human. Improv

1:09:17

for Humans is produced by Matt

1:09:19

Bessel and Zipp Morris. Please

1:09:21

rate this video wherever you get

1:09:24

your podcasts, and come chat with

1:09:26

us on the Discord. And

1:09:28

by subscribing, you are giving us the ability

1:09:30

to pay our brilliant guests, and

1:09:33

giving us all the platform for more

1:09:35

interaction, and lots more comedy. For

1:09:48

people to sign up, you get a discount on

1:09:51

your own membership. That would be the way to

1:09:53

move one of these cities up to 40 right

1:09:55

there. Yeah, there we go. You can gift a

1:09:57

scene to someone. That's

1:10:00

going well and those are fun, the gift

1:10:02

of scenes. You give a video

1:10:04

story and then we do a

1:10:06

scene based on that. I

1:10:09

love that story. The stories have

1:10:11

all been delightful. For real. Alright,

1:10:14

humans, keep being human. Impulse

1:10:17

for humans is produced by Matt Bessel

1:10:19

and the Brits Morris. Please

1:10:22

raise the video wherever you get your

1:10:24

podcasts and come chat with us

1:10:26

on the Discord. By subscribing

1:10:28

you are giving us the ability to

1:10:30

pay our brilliant guests and

1:10:33

giving up all the platform for

1:10:35

more interaction and lots more comedy.

1:10:46

Thanks for watching!