0:01

Next Chapter Podcasts Hey,

0:06

this is Michael Goodfriend, Executive Producer

0:08

of In the Cards. I hope

0:10

you've been enjoying our recommendations so

0:13

far. Today, I want to share

0:15

another fun podcast with you. If

0:17

you love cheesy Christmas rom-coms and

0:19

have a long drive coming up,

0:21

then this is for you. It's

0:23

called Build a Prince, A Royal

0:25

Christmas Love Story. It follows fiercely

0:27

independent Princess Adelaide as she discovers

0:29

she must marry by Christmas to

0:31

be crowned Queen of Alpinoa. When

0:34

she finds none of her royal suitors will do, Adelaide

0:37

creates the perfect prince out

0:39

of a handsome American commoner,

0:42

Hayden. What's intended as

0:44

a formal arrangement turns into something

0:46

more as Hayden's kindness and charm

0:48

begin breaking down her walls. But

0:50

little do they know, not everyone

0:52

wants Adelaide to be Queen, forcing

0:54

her to fight for her country,

0:56

open herself up to love, and

0:59

come to terms with who she's meant

1:01

to be. All in time for Christmas.

1:03

Here's Episode 1 of Build a Prince.

1:06

Enjoy. Build

1:12

a Prince, A Royal

1:14

Christmas Love Story. Written

1:17

by Jenny Malir. Story by

1:19

Jenny Malir and Elena Ferenas

1:22

Phillips. Before

1:25

we begin, why don't you curl

1:27

up by the fire with a

1:29

nice cup of hot cocoa? Or

1:32

if you don't have a fireplace, close

1:34

your eyes and, oh, uh, wait, unless

1:37

you're driving, and then please don't close

1:39

your eyes. Anyhoo,

1:41

welcome to Alpinoa. Never

1:44

seen it on Google Maps.

1:46

Oh, it's a cozy European

1:48

winter destination tucked away by

1:50

snow-covered mountains. Think

1:53

twinkling lights, carolers on every

1:55

corner. Let's just say

1:57

the Christmas vibes are immaculate. But...

2:00

You didn't come here for a

2:02

geography lesson. No, you came for

2:04

a royal romance. Unfortunately,

2:07

this Christmas, the heir to

2:10

the throne of Alpinoa has found

2:12

herself in a little... ...problem.

2:15

So join me as we head through

2:17

the palace gates, up

2:19

the grand staircase and into the

2:21

private chambers of Her Royal Highness

2:24

Princess Adelaide of Alpinoa. Good

2:27

morning, Princess! Meet Lance,

2:30

Adelaide's personal stylist and loyal

2:32

bestie. Too early, Lance.

2:34

It's never too early to be royal and

2:36

gorgeous. Let's get those girl boss ones out

2:38

of bed, shall we? He

2:41

pulls the covers back and Adelaide's dog,

2:43

Lady Marmalade, hides her nose under

2:45

the princess. Busy,

2:48

busy Your Highness, up we go! A

2:51

whirlwind of staff enter, including

2:54

Adelaide's private secretary Blanche. Think

2:56

Mrs Potts vibes, but cuter

2:58

outfits. All right, Blanche, let's have it.

3:01

Cabinet meeting at eight, tea with the Swiss ambassador

3:03

at ten, a call with the president of Belgium

3:06

at twelve. Squeeze in the yoga session at one,

3:08

namaste. Gown fittings at two,

3:10

and tonight's state dinner. Fittings?

3:12

For what? I thought there were no

3:14

more balls until Christmas. Fittings for fabulosity.

3:16

Don't ask questions. When have you ever

3:18

known me not to ask questions? She

3:21

told me she'd have me beheaded if I said a

3:23

word. For the last time, Grandmother can't have you beheaded.

3:26

Technically, she could, but she won't. Probably.

3:29

Comforting. Let's skip the

3:31

games you know you're going to tell me. She

3:34

wants you to attend more social events with

3:36

more people. Humans. Men,

3:39

potential suitors. Oh, there I said it.

3:41

I'm so bad. That's absurd. I'm a

3:43

grown woman and will date who I please. Date?

3:47

More like said outrageously high expectations only

3:49

to watch them flounder and fall from

3:51

grace. What man will ever

3:53

be good enough for Princess Adelaide? Sir

3:56

Lancelot, of course. Adelaide

3:58

kisses his cheek. He hands her a... Toothbrush.

4:01

Brushy then kissy. A

4:03

team fluff, paint and perfect the

4:05

princess as she scrolls a personalized

4:08

styling app, swiping through the enviable

4:10

contents of her closet. She

4:13

pulls a cashmere sweater together with tweed trousers

4:15

and leather loafers. No. She

4:17

tries a Chanel skirt suit with the same

4:19

pair of loafers. Lance grabs the

4:22

phone and trades out the loafers for

4:24

Louboutins. Perfect! Perfectly

4:26

unbearable. You try running a country in

4:28

four inch heels. It has a practical

4:31

platform. I hate you. Mmm,

4:33

you love me. Have you

4:36

prepared my talking points for tonight, yes, and

4:38

made changes based on your many

4:40

copious notes? Can't be too

4:42

careful, Blanche. We're hosting our sister country

4:44

and any misstep could create unnecessary awkwardness.

4:47

Indeed. No. This

4:49

will be your first date dinner without your

4:51

father. It will be a bit different, but

4:54

nothing at all to worry about. As Queen?

4:56

I'm not Queen yet. Blanche. It's

4:59

inevitable, my dear, and your responsibilities

5:01

will only increase, politically and ceremonially.

5:03

The politics I can handle. The

5:05

parties, not so much. What

5:07

could be better than being a princess at

5:10

a party? That

5:15

evening, the princess finds herself

5:17

in a dull, repetitive receiving

5:19

line. Not much of a

5:21

party. Her grandmother stands beside

5:23

her. Princess

5:25

is Queen Mary, royal AF,

5:28

and not quiet about it. You're

5:30

slouching, my dear. The

5:33

Queen of Cozalig always has an

5:35

agenda. Keep your guard up.

5:38

And the Queen of Alpinoa's sister

5:40

country makes her entrance. Beatrice

5:43

of Cozalig. Too

5:45

young to be this stale. Princess

5:48

Adelaide. Queen Beatrice.

5:51

May I express my deepest sympathy for the

5:53

loss of your dear father, and such

5:55

a short time after the loss of

5:58

your dear mother? Well, sir. And

6:00

he always said he'd go to the ends of the earth

6:02

for her. Isn't that just

6:04

a proper love story? It is, and

6:07

I'm grateful for your kindness. You

6:09

didn't quite expect this much responsibility at

6:12

such a young age, and

6:14

to do it all without a husband by

6:16

your side. What good is

6:18

a husband when you've got a job to do? She's

6:22

ready. Of course she is. And

6:29

the scenes in the palace kitchen,

6:31

caterers, cooks, and serving staff rush

6:33

about as a shaggy-haired caterer prepares

6:35

a tray. This

6:38

is Hayden, rough around the edges

6:40

but with an undeniable magnetism, and

6:43

come on, this is a Christmas love

6:45

story. He's hot. Poor

6:48

Gros played it. His oldest is for Eve is cruel

6:50

and confident in the kitchen, but when it comes to

6:52

geeking out over royal life, Eve

6:55

is all of us. Where's

6:57

the onion chutney? The onion whatney? Don't

6:59

worry, baby bro, you're getting the hang of it,

7:01

and how cool are we right now cooking in

7:03

the kitchen of a castle? What? Yeah,

7:05

cool, but there's a chance a platter

7:07

of foie gras already went out without

7:09

the onion stuff. Dude, the goose

7:12

liver was not my idea and the

7:14

chutney makes it edible, but hey, no

7:16

biggie. On it. No,

7:18

no, no, no, wait! But he's already ripped off his apron and

7:20

headed to the ballroom. He

7:22

scans the room for the rogue foie gras.

7:26

He's been served to the princess first.

7:29

Well that's inconvenient. He smoothly works

7:31

around mingling royals as he sneaks

7:33

up behind the princess and reaches cautiously to take

7:35

her plate. Pardon me. Apologies

7:38

ma'am. Your

7:41

highness, I'm gonna get you a new plate. What's

7:43

wrong with this plate? Nothing at

7:45

all, just, you know, it doesn't have its

7:47

garnish. I don't need a

7:49

garnish, this is fine. Oh come on,

7:52

branch out. It's better with the chutney,

7:54

I'm told. I'm not sure

7:56

who decided Goose Liver's appetizing in any

7:58

form but if you insist. Please

8:00

add the chutney. She hands him the plate, and

8:03

their eyes lock. He does

8:05

an awkward bow and turns back towards the

8:07

kitchen. What an odd boy. Indeed.

8:12

Nailed it! Princess got her chutney.

8:14

Oh boy. Did you just...

8:17

did he just... Gave the princess the right dish?

8:20

Yep. You went in the ballroom,

8:23

looking like that, and smelling like

8:25

that, and spoke to the

8:27

princess like this. Yeah, but

8:29

she was cool with it. He didn't know. It's

8:31

my fault. I cannot

8:34

have my staff ignoring

8:36

royal protocol and all-can-chutney

8:38

like a two-bit onion

8:41

peddler. Huh? You're

8:43

fired! Come on, give him another... Aah!

8:46

Okay, okay, relax, man. But it's not Eve's

8:48

fault. Don't give her a hard time about it. Haynan

8:50

grabs his coat and heads for the exit. Later

8:54

that night, the princess and Blanche make their

8:56

way back to her chambers. Why

8:59

do you think Grandmother doesn't trust Queen

9:01

Beatrice? She doesn't have a dog. What

9:04

kind of a queen doesn't have a dog? Come

9:07

on, girl. Just then,

9:09

a nervous-looking servant, Jeffrey, approaches.

9:13

Um, pardon your highness? Yes.

9:16

Your grandmother would like to see

9:19

you right now. Adelaide

9:22

and Blanche enter Queen Mary's

9:25

chambers cautiously. She sips

9:27

a gin and tonic. Just you.

9:30

I'll be just outside. Don't

9:32

panic and don't break anything. What

9:34

in the world are you? Grandmother, it's late. Can't

9:37

this wait until tomorrow? Come,

9:39

sit. Jeffrey hands Adelaide a matching

9:41

gin and tonic. That's all right, Em.

9:43

Take it. You'll need it. Grandmother,

9:46

you is. Ew! Ew! I'm

9:49

as strong as a horse for not

9:51

going anywhere anytime soon. You can count

9:53

on that. Oh, right. Then

9:55

what is it? My dear,

9:59

this is something... I was hoping to

10:01

never have to bring to your attention. We

10:04

lost your dear father much sooner

10:07

than we ever expected. And

10:10

as only child and heir, you

10:12

are, of course, next in line to

10:14

the throne. As

10:16

you know, many of our customs

10:19

and laws were established long ago, in

10:21

a different time, when

10:24

women were regarded in a different... Fight!

10:29

Oh, we're not having the ladylike type

10:31

again, are we? I thought we were

10:33

worth plus. You must be married, Adelaide,

10:35

in order to be crowned Queen. Is

10:39

this some kind of bizarre hazing

10:41

the future Queen joke? Certainly

10:43

not. So you're telling

10:46

me now that in order

10:48

to be crowned Queen of this country,

10:50

I must be... Married? Yes. And

10:53

from what I understand, you

10:55

haven't even got a bow. You'll

10:58

better get right on that. This

11:01

is ridiculous. What? I'm not capable of

11:03

running the country unless I have a husband.

11:05

A husband? I've studied, sacrificed. I have a

11:07

PhD, for God's sake. What other princess do

11:09

you know with a PhD? Probably

11:12

could have used that time travelling

11:14

and snogging chaps like I

11:16

did. But what do I

11:18

know? then. No,

11:24

I'm unfit. I

11:26

didn't write the rules, my dear. But

11:29

I can say with certainty that

11:32

you are far from unfit. Consider

11:35

this a

11:37

minor inconvenience. Inconvenience?

11:39

I don't even know if I ever want

11:41

to get married, let alone be forced to

11:44

marry. There's more. Oh, good. Do

11:46

go on. If

11:49

the country is without a monarch for three

11:52

months, we'll be reunited with our

11:54

sister country, Cozleg,

11:56

under one crown. Whose? There's.

12:02

Ernest? We'll be annexed and lose our

12:04

autonomy after nearly 300 years of independence.

12:07

White right. Three

12:10

months. Father died on

12:13

the 24th of September. That means we

12:15

run out of time on Christmas

12:17

Eve. The

12:20

next morning Adelaide walks with Lance and Blanche

12:22

to a cabinet meeting. Loving

12:25

the loafers on you today Princess. Oh

12:27

Princess, as per your request we're starting

12:29

yoga Wednesdays in the ballroom for the

12:32

whole palace staff. I

12:34

can't wait to get my shavasana on. Isn't

12:36

that the one where you just lie

12:39

there like you're dead? Mm-hmm.

12:42

Oh I can't take it anymore. We

12:44

must discuss. They stop abruptly when an

12:46

older house servant Bernie passes and bows

12:49

his head. Morning Bernie. How's the knee?

12:52

Oh just a bit stiff you're on

12:54

us. Stiff or excruciatingly painful and

12:56

you're too proud to admit it. Oh

12:59

well. Blanche have Bernie see

13:01

the palace doctor and ensure he has as

13:03

much paid leave as needed to rest up.

13:05

You're too kind your Highness. Blanche

13:08

and Adelaide enter the cabinet room to find the

13:10

Prime Minister. A warm hug of a man. Morning

13:13

Princess. Prime Minister. Everyone. I'd like

13:15

to start with housing. Rising

13:18

prices are making it impossible for public service

13:20

employees to live anywhere near the city centre.

13:22

How do you respect your Highness? I wouldn't

13:24

call that a priority. That's because you

13:26

live in the city centre. If we

13:28

reallocate funding from... From where Your

13:31

Highness? Currism is down on the

13:33

mountain. Cozleg is pulling so many travellers

13:35

over with their newly upgraded ski lifts

13:37

and hotel makeovers. We should... You spend

13:39

even more money we don't have?

13:42

Let's get real Addy. You

13:45

must spend money to make money

13:47

Reggie. The mountain is our country's

13:49

primary economic driver and we can't

13:51

fall behind. And you want

13:53

to spend those profits on

13:55

housing for city employees? They

13:58

keep our country running. People

14:00

before profits always. As

14:03

cabinet members disperse, Reggie pulls Adelaide

14:06

aside. Apologies for the pushback, Your

14:08

Highness. I know you're easing into your role

14:10

and I don't want you to feel overwhelmed.

14:13

Pushback is your job, and no need to handle

14:15

me with kid gloves, Reggie. I can handle it. Adi.

14:20

You know, don't you? It's

14:22

an antiquated law, Your Highness. You're

14:25

an independent young woman and it's

14:28

unreasonable to ask of you. What

14:30

about my duty? What about

14:33

your heart? Later

14:35

Blanche and Lance lean against the

14:37

wall outside Adelaide's chambers. It's

14:40

too quiet. I think she fell

14:42

asleep. No, she's not a stress

14:45

sleeper. You're right, she's a

14:47

stress... stressor.

14:51

Finally the doors open, Adelaide stands

14:53

eerily calm. As

14:56

you might imagine, I'm not pleased with this

14:58

evening's revelation. Why are you standing there

15:01

like that? Sit, relax. You're

15:03

the only two people in the world I can talk to,

15:05

so please stop acting like I'm a porcelain doll about to

15:07

shutter. Oh god, thank you. We

15:10

thought you might implode. Or

15:12

explode. Or some other kind

15:14

of blode. Obviously I'm not happy, but it's

15:16

the reality and needs to be dealt with. May

15:20

I? Go! I

15:23

think this could be fun. When shopping,

15:25

you have your pick of boy toys and have

15:27

to make a quick decision. It's like

15:29

an impulse buy at Barney's, but for the

15:31

good of the country. Yes,

15:34

yes, I share that sentiment. I

15:37

think it's a challenging part of

15:39

your duty, but might actually be

15:41

rewarding, like eating kale. No

15:44

one wants to eat kale, but it

15:46

makes you feel great. Oh, I like

15:48

kale. Do you? How odd. You're

15:51

probably not cooking it right. I like to

15:53

sort Tameine with a little... Yes, people! Yes,

15:55

sorry. Okay, so we

15:58

need a plan. Ten

16:00

weeks to Christmas Eve. Blanche

16:03

and Lance present a large board with

16:05

pins, pictures and facts about

16:07

a variety of royal suitors.

16:11

May I present David

16:14

Ellington, Duke of Casabara,

16:16

35 years old, likes,

16:18

horses, dislikes, popular

16:21

music. All popular

16:23

music. I'm sure his taste is

16:25

just more refined. Adelaide

16:28

sits beside the Duke of Casabara

16:30

as they politely sip soup. Did

16:34

you know the fastest recorded

16:36

speed of a horse was 88 km per hour? My

16:40

bitsy did nearly 80. Fascinating.

16:43

Well, the official

16:45

recorded time was 73 but I

16:48

think the tracker was off. Ah!

16:52

Blanche. Don't like

16:54

this tune? Rubbish. Back

16:57

in Adelaide's chambers, Blanche removes

16:59

the Duke's photo. Moving on

17:01

to the next. Lord William

17:04

Hastings of Linderbally, 30, served

17:06

in the Royal Navy, physical

17:08

fitness enthusiast. Adelaide

17:12

dances with Lord Hastings, unusually

17:15

large and muscular. I'm

17:17

not much for dancing. Oh,

17:20

I didn't notice. You're

17:22

more of a crossfit man myself. Well,

17:25

I didn't realise it was either

17:27

dancing or weightlifting. I

17:29

can overhead squat close to 300 pounds. You're

17:33

less than that, right? Yes. As

17:35

they move into the next dance formation, he lifts

17:38

her by the armpits and straight over his head.

17:40

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh,

17:43

apologies, Your Highness. Prinsahid

17:48

Abdulla, 22. He's

17:52

a child. But apparently very

17:55

mature for his age and anxious to

17:57

settle down. I've

18:00

got 10.2 million followers which most

18:02

people think is because of the

18:04

title but like does William have

18:07

that many? I'm guessing

18:09

no. Yeah content is

18:11

everything man. I'm averaging 2% engagement

18:13

but can't monetise at scale until

18:16

I reach 3% it's

18:18

a total nightmare. Ah yes

18:21

next to Wales Hunger that sounds

18:23

nightmarish. Prince Shahid nods his entourage.

18:26

Time to get this party

18:28

started. Adelaide

18:31

takes a big sip of her wine.

18:38

Baron Bentley Shepherd III 43.

18:40

Previously married but shares a

18:42

peaceful co-parenting relationship with the

18:45

mother. His daughter is the

18:47

honourable Caitlyn Shepherd age 8. My

18:55

wife had an affair with my brother.

18:57

Oh my that's... I'm so sorry. Well

19:00

she has always been a Susie I should

19:02

have known. I want my mummy. Well

19:05

my mummy isn't here is she? I hate you I hate

19:08

you I hate you. And

19:10

so you like kids? Eight

19:14

weeks to Christmas Eve. That's

19:17

it no more I can't take this. Lady

19:20

Marmalade jumps off the city and starts

19:22

sniffing the butt of an oversized decorative

19:24

nutcracker. Oh it's so simple

19:26

for you isn't it? Just sniff a bum and

19:28

you've found a match. Wait.

19:32

What? Maybe it is that

19:34

easy. If you want

19:37

someone kind, intelligent, interesting, funny

19:39

and handsome let's go

19:41

sniff him out. What are you

19:43

talking about? Isn't that what we've been trying to do? We've

19:46

been going about this the wrong way looking to royal

19:48

suitors hoping they'd be the kind of man you're looking

19:50

for. Let's find the kind of man

19:52

you're looking for and make him a royal suitor.

19:56

Are you saying we find

19:58

someone not royal? and makes

20:01

him royal? Times have

20:03

changed, Blanche. He doesn't have to be royal,

20:05

he just has to be princely. We'll

20:08

give him the right backstory, training and style,

20:10

of course. No, it's

20:12

impossible. You've seen the

20:14

makeovers I'm capable of, baby. Nothing

20:17

is impossible. Make our

20:19

own prince! We can... Build

20:21

a prince! Lance,

20:24

Blanche and Adelaide ride in the back of

20:26

a Rolls Royce, decked out in Christmas sweaters.

20:30

I'm going to need a shower after this. Relax,

20:32

you look adorably average. How

20:35

dare you? I love this! Look at how

20:37

much fun we're having! I know

20:39

this country is Christmas obsessed, but is the

20:41

Santa hat really necessary? It's

20:44

going to give you hat hair. We just

20:46

have to blend in. I don't want this leaking

20:48

to the press. The only one

20:50

that knows anything is the three of us, and

20:52

we're a fault. Lance,

20:54

meet us here at noon. Don't talk

20:57

to anyone. They

20:59

get out of the Rolls in a

21:02

back alley and sneak up to sight

21:04

until they reach Alpinoa's main street.

21:08

It's a dazzling Christmas wonderland,

21:10

a huge sparkling Christmas tree

21:12

right in the town square.

21:15

They scurry through town, leaning

21:17

around corners, eavesdropping and following

21:20

any reasonably handsome man they

21:22

see. How can you get

21:24

any sense of a person just stalking them around town?

21:27

Oh, that's how I get all my boyfriends.

21:29

Sainties, I

21:32

don't get to enjoy all of this enough. I

21:34

love this country more than anything. I

21:36

don't want to lose it. Just

21:39

then, a familiar man's voice is heard

21:41

behind her. It's

21:43

at least 20 feet tall. It's

21:45

covered in hundreds, thousands

21:47

of ornaments. Red,

21:50

green, orange, purple,

21:53

blue. And the

21:55

lights are twinkling so bright, they light up the whole

21:57

town. standing

22:00

over an older man in a wheelchair. Is

22:03

there a star on top? No. No

22:06

star, weirdly it's like some

22:08

kind of bird? Yeah,

22:10

it looks like a pink flamingo, actually. And

22:13

Lid looks up and sees a beautiful gold

22:15

star. A flamingo? What

22:18

kind of Christmas tree? What

22:20

the heck would a flamingo? I

22:22

know you kids like to do things your own way,

22:24

but I never. I'm messing

22:27

with you, Pa. A very funny. Is

22:29

that a way to treat your old dad? Come on,

22:31

I gotta keep you on your toes. Make

22:33

sure you're taking it all in. Well, I

22:36

wish he didn't have to look after me like this. A

22:39

master's degree, such a bright future. My

22:42

future is just fine. Don't

22:44

you worry about that. The man pulls

22:46

his son down and kisses him sweetly on the

22:48

cheek. As he does

22:50

this, his face turns towards Adelaide. Lance

22:53

and Blanche scoot in closer and

22:55

tip their shades. Kind.

22:59

Intelligent. Interesting. Funny.

23:02

Handsome. Goose liver. Say

23:05

what now? He was a

23:07

palace caterer, I think. Yes, but I only

23:09

filmed the once. How odd.

23:12

I never noticed him. He must

23:14

look so different out of uniform. So,

23:18

hmm. Well, fine.

23:20

Stop that. Lance and Blanche

23:22

tilt their heads, taking in his toned

23:25

body under a sweater and jeans. Well,

23:28

it doesn't matter what we think

23:30

anyway. Right. It matters what you

23:32

think. Suddenly, a scrappy

23:34

dog runs across the street, narrowly

23:37

escaping cars, and runs straight under the

23:39

Christmas tree. Oh, it's

23:41

in! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hayden dies

23:43

under the tree, scooping out the dog covered

23:45

in glitter and pines. He's

23:47

all right. Aren't you, buddy? Oh, thank you so

23:50

much. Come to Mommy Blitzen. That's

23:52

a good name. Adelaide pulls her shades back on

23:55

and looks straight ahead. I

23:58

think we've found our prince. End

24:02

of part one.