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root cause of so much suffering

1:01

in the world is

1:05

the attachment we have to

1:07

the concept of self, to

1:10

this mental fabrication. Welcome

1:21

to the Joseph Goldstein Insight Hour.

1:25

This podcast

1:27

is an expression of our shared interest in

1:29

self-discovery. Join Joseph as

1:31

he shares his deep knowledge of the path of

1:33

mindfulness. If

1:36

you are interested in supporting this

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podcast, please go to beherenownetwork.com/joseph. Please

1:46

go to beherenownetwork.com

1:48

slash joseph. So

2:00

many aspects of the Buddhist teachings

2:03

about the nature of suffering and

2:06

the possibilities of freedom resonate

2:09

with our own common sense

2:11

understanding of things, the

2:15

importance of non-harming as

2:19

the foundation for living together,

2:21

whether locally or globally. The

2:26

understanding that all things in

2:29

our lives are changing and

2:31

that if we cling to or grasp at that

2:35

which in its nature changes we

2:37

suffer. So these

2:40

principles are not hard to understand

2:43

at least intellectually even

2:46

if it takes practice to realize them. But

2:51

there's one aspect of the Buddhist

2:53

teaching that is really counter-intuitive, that

2:57

really offers a very

2:59

different way, a profoundly different way

3:03

of understanding ourselves and the world

3:06

and it's one that challenges our

3:09

entire world view. And

3:12

this is the deep understanding and realization

3:14

of selflessness, anattā,

3:19

emptiness of self, the

3:22

insubstantiality of all

3:24

aspects of our experience. So

3:29

realizing selflessness, realizing

3:31

anattā is

3:33

the great liberating jewel of the Buddhist teachings. As

3:42

our mindfulness and awareness of

3:44

this mind-body process grows more

3:47

stable, grows more

3:49

precise, we find

3:51

that the self,

3:54

what we think of the self is

3:57

not what we thought it to be. we

4:00

begin to understand that the body

4:02

is not self, that

4:06

thoughts and emotions are not self,

4:09

that even awareness or consciousness

4:12

is not self. Gradually,

4:16

as we settle into the

4:18

practice, we

4:20

begin to see that the self is

4:23

a concept, it's a

4:25

mental construct, it's

4:27

a fabrication of our minds. Sometimes

4:33

when people even

4:35

hear about this, know

4:38

self, sometimes

4:41

it may feel a little scary, or

4:45

create a little anxiety, imagining

4:49

that somehow, when

4:51

this realization deepens, we

4:56

go up in a puff of smoke and

4:58

suddenly disappear, and

5:00

the mind can conjure up all sorts

5:03

of ideas about what

5:05

this understanding entails. But

5:11

in the experience of selflessness,

5:16

we actually can experience both as a

5:19

bit of a surprise, because it's so

5:21

counter to our usual way of

5:24

understanding things, but also

5:26

it comes, can come as

5:28

a great relief. All

5:32

those troubling aspects of

5:34

our personality, and

5:37

also all the good qualities, they

5:41

don't belong to anyone. They're

5:44

all simply appearances arising

5:47

out of certain conditions,

5:49

certain causes, appearing

5:53

when those causes and conditions are there,

5:56

and disappearing when the

5:58

conditions change. It's

6:03

precisely because all of these qualities

6:05

of mind are

6:07

not intrinsic to

6:10

a core self that

6:14

we're actually able to cultivate

6:16

those which are wholesome

6:19

and abandon those which are unwholesome.

6:24

If these were some intrinsic

6:26

part of ourselves, we'd

6:31

kind of be stuck in

6:34

whatever habit patterns are

6:37

present. All

6:40

of this was summed up by one

6:42

teacher in a very pithy

6:45

phrase, no

6:49

self, no problem, and

6:52

that is really true. So

6:56

tonight I'd like to

6:58

speak about how the mind creates

7:01

this concept of self, creates

7:05

this deeply held view

7:08

that we have, and

7:11

also how we can free ourselves

7:14

from this great illusion. The

7:19

Abhidharma, which is the collection

7:21

of teachings of

7:24

the Buddhist psychology, and it's

7:26

a very detailed, precise analysis

7:30

of the mind and all the qualities in the mind

7:32

and all the elements of the body. The

7:38

Abhidharma Buddhist psychology provides a

7:40

very useful vocabulary

7:44

and framework for

7:47

understanding how the self is created, how

7:49

this sense of self is created, and

7:52

how we can see through it. So

7:57

it describes the mind. As

8:04

the faculty of knowing.

8:08

So mind basically means consciousness.

8:11

The capacity to know. Knowing

8:14

sights, knowing sounds, smells, tastes,

8:17

sensations, thoughts, ideas. So

8:22

in its most fundamental meaning, mind

8:25

refers to consciousness. That

8:27

which knows. But

8:31

what we usually refer to as mind, also

8:36

means something a little more

8:38

expansive than simply

8:40

consciousness, than simple, bare

8:43

knowing. Because

8:46

in each moment of experience,

8:51

different qualities of

8:53

mind, which in Buddhist jargon are

8:56

called mental factors. So

9:00

these are different mental qualities that

9:02

arise in

9:04

different combinations in

9:07

every moment of knowing. So

9:10

in knowing of a sight, a sound, a smell,

9:13

a taste, a sensation, a thought, there's the bare

9:15

knowing, which is consciousness. And

9:17

then a variety of different mental

9:20

factors in different

9:22

combinations, which color that

9:24

moment of consciousness in a

9:26

particular way. So

9:31

the Buddha very clearly and with

9:38

amazing clarity and brilliance, he

9:42

was able to see and recognize

9:45

those factors of mind, those

9:49

mental qualities which bring about happiness.

9:52

And he called those wholesome factors.

9:56

He saw which mental factors

9:58

arising out of the mind. in particular

10:01

moments of consciousness, creates

10:03

suffering. And

10:05

he called those unwholesome. And

10:10

I find this very useful because it

10:13

illustrates the very

10:16

pragmatic aspect of

10:18

Buddhist ethics. What

10:23

we're really doing is training

10:25

in happiness. It's

10:28

not a matter of following

10:32

commandments. We

10:35

see what factors bring about happiness.

10:39

These are called wholesome and we cultivate them.

10:43

We see those which bring about suffering and

10:46

we learn to let them go. So

10:53

there's the simplicity of bare-knowing

10:55

consciousness. And

10:57

in each moment, this consciousness

11:00

is colored by a variety of

11:02

mental factors, sometimes

11:04

wholesome, sometimes unwholesome. There's

11:10

one particular mental factor, factor

11:13

of mind, that

11:15

is common to every moment

11:17

of consciousness. So

11:20

it's always arising in every

11:22

moment. And

11:26

it's one that plays such an

11:28

important role in

11:30

the unfolding of our lives that the

11:34

Buddha singled out this factor

11:36

along with Vedana, along

11:39

with feeling tone, to

11:41

be one of the five aggregates. So

11:44

when the Buddha was describing the totality of

11:47

our experience in terms of the five aggregates,

11:50

he singled out this one

11:52

particular mental factor, made

11:56

it its own aggregate. So

11:59

it illustrates that. the importance of it.

12:04

This is the mental factor

12:12

of perception and the function

12:14

of perception, the role that perception

12:18

plays in our minds,

12:21

is to recognize, name, and

12:27

so for example, we hear a

12:29

sound. Consciousness

12:32

simply knows hearing.

12:36

Consciousness is just their knowing. Perception

12:39

picks out the distinguishing

12:41

marks of that sound,

12:45

and we name it bird. We

12:47

create a concept for it. We

12:51

store it in memory. The

12:53

next time we hear that sound, it's

12:56

perception which recognizes, oh,

12:59

that's a bird. So

13:01

you can see how perception is really

13:05

conditioning our whole understanding

13:07

of the world we live in. It's

13:11

the way we construct and interpret

13:14

our world through these concepts.

13:20

Perception can also happen on

13:22

a pre-verbal level. And

13:26

so for example, animals or

13:28

infants may

13:32

experiencing things through the sense

13:34

doors and distinguish them and

13:37

even remember them, but not necessarily have

13:39

a word for them. So

13:42

perception happens both on the verbal

13:44

and pre-verbal level. Just

13:53

to reassure you, all

13:55

of this is going someplace. This

13:59

is just. This is just setting

14:02

the stage, but

14:06

it's important to set the stage to

14:08

understand what follows. When

14:14

perception, this faculty of

14:16

recognition, is

14:19

balanced with mindfulness, it's

14:22

like putting a frame around the picture.

14:26

Why do we put a picture in a frame in

14:29

order to focus our attention so

14:32

we can see the picture more clearly?

14:37

The point is not to look

14:39

at the frame. The

14:42

point is to direct our minds towards

14:44

the picture. In

14:47

the same way when perception is

14:49

in the service of mindfulness, and

14:52

mental noting is really

14:54

a function of perception. We're naming

14:57

the experience with a

14:59

simple note. That

15:03

mental note, that perception, the

15:06

point of it is to frame the

15:08

experience so that we can be more

15:10

mindful. So it's focusing our attention on

15:13

the nature of what's arising. Here's

15:20

where it gets interesting. When

15:26

there is perception without

15:28

mindfulness, which

15:31

is our usual

15:33

way of being in the world,

15:37

we know and remember only

15:40

the superficial appearance of things.

15:44

We give a name or a concept

15:46

to what arises, and

15:50

then without mindfulness, our

15:53

experience becomes limited by

15:56

that concept. It's

15:59

like we're looking at the frame instead of

16:02

the picture and there are countless examples of

16:04

this, some of which I'll

16:06

enumerate. But

16:08

a very simple example, go outside,

16:13

look at a tree, we recognize it as a tree,

16:15

we think that we're

16:17

seeing a tree. The

16:21

eye does not see a tree. Tree

16:25

is a concept, useful

16:27

one, the eye

16:30

sees color and form. But

16:34

we are so used to experiencing

16:37

the world, to experience the

16:39

world through

16:41

the lens of our concepts. We

16:45

recognize tree, name it a

16:47

tree, oh look at that tree

16:49

over there and we think that we're actually

16:52

seeing it. And we

16:54

are in a superficial way. If

17:00

we use the concept tree to

17:03

focus our attention to

17:05

really see, to

17:08

really look, there is a

17:10

whole world of experience that

17:12

can be revealed, you

17:14

know, of light and shadow and

17:16

components and... But

17:21

that's only if we don't

17:23

get seduced by the concept. Oh,

17:27

this is just another example

17:30

of how concepts can limit our

17:33

understanding. The

17:37

son of a friend of mine, I know he was in

17:41

grade school, might be second grade or first

17:44

grade, and

17:46

the teacher asked the class what

17:49

color are apples and

17:53

my friend's son said white. And

17:57

the teacher said no, apples are in white, apples are

18:00

red or they're green or they're

18:02

golden, but this young

18:04

boy was insistent. No, no, no, apples are white.

18:07

And the teacher was insistent. No, no, they're

18:09

red or green. And

18:12

so this went on for a while and then, you

18:14

know, with great frustration, the young

18:16

boy said, you know, when you

18:18

cut open an apple, what color is it? Of

18:21

course, the inside of all apples, or

18:24

most apples anyway, are white. But

18:27

we can get so caught by a superficial

18:30

perception that we're

18:32

not actually open to another

18:34

view and sometimes a

18:37

deeper view. So

18:44

our perceptions are concepts

18:47

about what we're experiencing. It's

18:52

overlay on experience. Very

18:56

often condition how we feel

18:59

about that experience. And

19:03

one of the startling things about all this is

19:06

that often our perceptions are inaccurate.

19:10

And yet they're conditioning the

19:13

experience we're having. So

19:15

I'll just give you two examples of this. One happened

19:17

to me, and this is a story I've told many

19:20

times, but it's so striking. It's

19:23

the first time Sayedat Upandita came to teach

19:25

here. This was 1984. It

19:28

was a very intense retreat. He's a

19:30

very demanding teacher. You

19:32

know, we're practicing really

19:35

hard and he's

19:37

big on heroic effort. And

19:41

so I was doing walking meditation just outside, you

19:44

know, in the front of the building. And

19:46

I glance up and I see him looking down at

19:49

me walking. So... Okay.

19:56

List, move, plan, started walking

19:58

really slowly. And

20:02

I'm walking back and forth and I glance up again and

20:05

he's still looking. And

20:07

it feels a little strange

20:09

to me but I'm pretending

20:11

to be diligent all

20:14

the while thinking about why is he watching me. So

20:17

this went on for some time and then at a certain point

20:19

I just stopped and I looked up and

20:22

it wasn't Upandita at all. It was a lampshade. And

20:29

I had created this whole world with

20:33

quite a lot of anxiety because

20:37

of a concept. Another

20:42

time this is a story a friend told me. They

20:45

were building a house in the woods

20:47

and as they were building it they saw some great

20:50

blue herons flying around. So

20:52

they're beautiful birds. And

20:56

then the house was finally built and they move in and

20:59

they hear this chirping in the

21:01

basement. And they got all excited.

21:03

Somehow they thought there was a nest and

21:05

there were these little

21:07

blue heron chicks and

21:10

chirping away and it made them so happy. Then

21:13

one day they had some repairs done. Somebody

21:15

came, went into the basement and

21:17

came up and said, you know your smoke

21:20

alarm is broken. The

21:22

chirping was just a broken smoke alarm. And

21:25

all of a sudden the very same

21:27

sound became so irritating and

21:29

they had to immediately fix it. It

21:32

was exactly the same sound. One

21:35

concept led to one experience. Different

21:37

concept led to a different experience.

21:40

This is happening all the time

21:43

in our lives. So

21:49

I'd like to point out these are kind

21:52

of simple and in some way trivial

21:54

examples. But the

21:56

power of concepts. plays

22:01

a tremendously powerful

22:04

role both in our

22:06

own lives and in the world and without

22:10

attention to them can

22:12

sometimes be the cause of tremendous

22:14

suffering. So this

22:17

is not an insignificant aspect

22:21

of the Dharma. I

22:24

just want to mention some of the

22:27

concepts that play such a critical role

22:29

in our lives. Concepts

22:34

of place. You

22:39

know that the world is divided into all

22:41

these countries and states how many wars and

22:43

how many people have been killed over

22:47

boundaries. The

22:50

earth has not created boundaries.

22:53

These boundaries are a mental construct and

22:55

it's very striking those of you who

22:58

can remember when the

23:00

first astronauts went into space. Many

23:03

of them had an almost mystical experience

23:05

about seeing the earth as a whole.

23:07

You know

23:10

seen from outer space and you

23:12

know they all described it as this most

23:14

beautiful unified planet

23:18

and yet we create concepts, create

23:21

these boundaries and

23:24

kill each other over them. Now

23:29

concepts of ideology. It's

23:35

tragic how

23:37

slogans, ideological

23:40

slogans, can

23:42

stir up so many

23:45

people and sometimes in very violent ways.

23:48

You know just ones that have been

23:50

the news you know over

23:52

recent years. On one side from one side

23:54

you know some

23:57

countries are the axis of evil from

23:59

the other. side the Great Satan. These

24:01

are slogans, these are ideologies, these

24:03

are concepts that get

24:06

put out and millions

24:09

of people get caught up in

24:11

the emotions around them. Concepts

24:18

of ownership and possessiveness,

24:21

this is a really interesting one. What

24:25

does it mean to own something? Mark

24:30

Twain, the great American humorist, once

24:34

wrote a short story about

24:36

horse traders in Russia, but

24:39

he told the whole story

24:41

from the horse's point of view. The

24:45

horses never thought for a moment

24:47

that they were owned by anyone.

24:50

They were in relationship to various

24:52

human beings, some kind, some cruel,

24:56

but the idea of being owned did

24:59

not arise at all. But

25:04

sometimes there's huge suffering that

25:07

comes about from investment

25:09

in this concept. We

25:12

look at the legacy of slavery in

25:14

this country, the

25:17

effect of colonialism, the

25:20

idea that a

25:22

person or a country can

25:24

own other

25:27

people or own another

25:29

country. Now we see the

25:31

effects of this still in the suffering

25:34

and the conflicts that are going on in this

25:36

country and around the world. Or

25:40

on a much simpler level if you think that

25:43

it's just out there, I'd

25:48

like you to do a little imaginative

25:50

exercise now. Imagine

25:54

walking into the hall and

25:59

finding somebody's sitting in your seat. It

26:07

would probably be a moment. You

26:10

might not shoot them. But

26:13

I'll bet there would be some kind of

26:16

reaction in the mind. What are they

26:18

doing in my seat, in my place?

26:22

So it goes very deep. And

26:28

the Buddha said, you know, we can't

26:30

even be said to own this mind

26:32

and body, much

26:36

less anything else. Now

26:40

with all these concepts, and

26:42

further ones, I'm not

26:44

suggesting that we do away with concepts,

26:48

or that concepts are bad, because

26:51

all of these concepts have uses.

26:54

We can use them skillfully. The

26:56

concept of ownership can be a

26:58

useful concept or a place. But

27:04

we have to understand that they are

27:06

constructs of our mind. They are not

27:08

reflecting some underlying

27:10

reality. And

27:12

when we understand that, we're

27:14

then not so attached to them, and

27:17

we can use them in a skillful and

27:20

appropriate way. The

27:25

next concept that I want

27:27

to talk about has huge ramifications.

27:32

If we could understand

27:35

this next one, I

27:38

would say, I'm going to make up some number now,

27:41

that

27:43

80%

27:45

of your suffering would be eliminated. Maybe

27:50

70%, but some

27:53

big amount. And

27:56

that is the concept of

27:58

time. the concept

28:00

of past and future. How

28:05

is it that we experience the

28:07

past? How

28:09

is it that we experience the future?

28:15

We're sitting or moving about and

28:17

we have certain thoughts, maybe

28:20

memories, recollections, remembrances.

28:26

We put a concept on this class

28:28

of thoughts, past, and

28:34

then with some mental gymnastics, we

28:38

take this concept, I

28:40

don't know how exactly we do this, but we

28:43

take this concept past and throw

28:45

it back behind us as

28:47

if the past is actually back there.

28:53

And we do the same thing with future. We have certain

28:55

kinds of thoughts, imagining,

28:58

anticipating, worrying, planning. So

29:05

we have this class of thoughts, but

29:07

a concept future. And

29:10

with that same mental agility, throw

29:13

the concept out ahead of us as

29:15

if the future is

29:17

out there waiting for us. And

29:22

all this time we are not seeing that

29:27

our experience of past and

29:30

our experience of future is

29:34

happening as a thought in the present. Now

29:38

I'm not discussing the metaphysical nature

29:40

of time. I'm

29:43

talking about how we actually

29:46

experience past and future. If

29:52

we are lost in this construct, in this concept,

29:58

it's as if we are, Carrying

30:01

past and future as

30:04

mountains on our shoulders, going

30:06

through life. How much of your

30:09

day is spent

30:12

lost in thoughts of past

30:14

and future? With

30:16

all the attendant feelings and emotions

30:18

and everything that comes along with

30:20

it. The

30:23

concept of

30:26

past and future is

30:28

a huge burden which we're carrying

30:31

when we don't see that

30:35

the actual experience is simply as

30:37

a thought in the moment. A

30:41

thought in the moment is very light, just

30:44

arises and passes. This

30:49

insight does not require

30:51

30 years

30:53

of meditation to understand.

31:00

This can be seen in a moment. Retreat

31:07

is a very good place to

31:09

investigate this. You might

31:12

keep an eye out for

31:14

time thoughts about the retreat.

31:19

So you're sitting or moving about

31:21

and you're

31:24

having a really hard day. Oh

31:28

my God, three

31:31

more weeks, nine

31:34

more weeks, whatever it is, I'll

31:36

never make it. And you just

31:38

feel depressed and heavy. Or

31:42

maybe you're having a great, you're about to get

31:44

enlightened, any moment. Oh,

31:48

only three more weeks, I wish I could be here a year.

31:52

In both cases what has happened? There

31:56

was a thought in the moment, that's all

31:58

it was. But

32:00

we created a concept, a time

32:02

concept about it, and

32:05

then burdened ourselves with

32:08

everything we've invested in that concept.

32:12

This is hugely liberating to

32:16

see this. And it doesn't mean we

32:18

ignore those thoughts which we're calling

32:21

past, or ignore

32:23

those which we're calling future. We

32:26

engage with them in the appropriate way, but

32:29

we actually see that

32:33

they are just thoughts in the moment. And

32:35

so our engagement with them is

32:39

immeasurably lighter. I

32:49

don't know where this came from, but... If

32:55

past and future really exist, where

32:58

are they? I

33:00

think that's a good question to ask. Now

33:06

we're gonna take this a step further, because

33:09

it's not only time

33:11

thoughts about past and future, which

33:13

are so prevalent, and

33:17

which we get so lost in. We

33:21

also create a concept of

33:23

present. And

33:26

this may seem a

33:28

bit strange, because so much of the

33:30

instruction and the teaching, be present, stay

33:32

in the present moment. But

33:37

the present too is a concept.

33:43

And it's possible to practice being

33:45

in the present, but

33:47

with a kind of fixation to

33:50

the present. So

33:53

the Portuguese poet, Frederick Basso, he

33:56

said, live

33:59

you say, in the present, live

34:02

only in the present, but

34:05

I don't want the present, I

34:08

want reality. It's

34:11

a beautiful expression of

34:15

something the Buddha talked about in

34:17

the Dhammapada, and this is a

34:19

very profound instruction. This

34:25

is an instruction that

34:28

could do it. So, take

34:31

it in. Let

34:34

go of the past. Let

34:38

go of the future. Let

34:43

go of the present and

34:46

cross over to the further shore. With

34:50

the mind wholly liberated, you

34:53

go beyond birth and death. This

34:58

could be a very interesting place

35:01

to explore in

35:03

your practice. When

35:05

you really are settled, and in

35:07

the present flow, this moment after

35:09

moment, if

35:11

it comes to mind, you might just bring

35:15

to mind, let go of the present.

35:18

How would that mental move be? It's

35:22

kind of a, it's

35:25

a letting go. It's

35:28

basically letting go of clinging to the

35:30

present. I call it

35:32

channel zero. You

35:34

know, it's like, which

35:40

is really the mind that is not

35:42

clinging to anything at all. Okay,

35:47

concepts of place, of

35:50

ownership, of

35:54

ideology, concepts

35:56

of time. big

36:00

one that you have been

36:02

exploring a lot and

36:06

have been

36:08

getting a lot of insight into are

36:11

all the concepts we have around self-images.

36:13

You know,

36:17

we create a concept about ourselves,

36:20

about who we are, you know,

36:23

and we present ourselves to ourselves in that

36:25

way and we present ourselves to the world

36:27

in that way. And

36:30

as soon as we have a

36:32

self-concept, a self-image of

36:35

any kind, it is already a limitation.

36:38

It is already a contraction. It's as

36:40

if we've poured ourselves into a mold

36:44

and then wonder why we feel constricted. It

36:50

would be very helpful to keep an eye out

36:53

for whatever particular self-images

36:57

are arising, you're holding to. On

37:02

retreat, one

37:04

of the most common expressions

37:07

of self-image is

37:10

good yogi-bad yogi. You

37:12

know, when things are going well, I'm

37:14

the world's greatest yogi. And

37:17

when we're struggling, it's

37:19

as if I've never meditated before. I'm the

37:21

world's worst yogi. And

37:24

so then we get caught up in that self-assessment

37:28

and then we project it onto others and think,

37:31

oh, they're great yogis or they're terrible yogis and

37:33

then we compare ourselves. We're just lost in this

37:35

world of

37:37

self-image. I really

37:39

got caught by this in that first

37:42

retreat with Zaira Upandita in 84. As

37:45

I say, it was a very, it was a

37:47

very intense time. People

37:50

were practicing with tremendous determination.

37:55

And at a certain point, I saw

37:57

all the yogis

38:00

who I thought, these are really good

38:02

yogis, you know, they were just moving

38:05

so carefully. And I

38:07

thought they had little notebooks and

38:10

they were writing things down. So

38:14

in my mind I thought, oh, Saitao

38:17

gave them some secret

38:19

instruction, you know, and

38:21

he only

38:24

gave it to the good yogis and I

38:28

must be a really bad yogi. So

38:30

I fermented

38:34

in that for a while. But

38:37

then I saw the yogis who I

38:39

thought, yeah, were being quite

38:42

careless, you know, and they didn't look very mindful

38:44

at all. And then I saw

38:46

they had notebooks. So

38:51

then I thought, oh, I

38:53

must be such a good yogi that Saitao thinks I don't

38:55

need one. And

38:57

it's just, you

39:00

know, at the end of the retreat I found

39:02

it's exciting. I didn't say anything about having a

39:05

notebook and people were just using them

39:07

at different times to, you know,

39:10

make some notes about their meditation in order to

39:12

report. It had no significance

39:14

at all. And yet

39:16

my concepts about it fed

39:19

into this tendency to create a

39:21

self-image and comparing. So

39:24

that's just one example of

39:26

innumerable examples. Keep

39:29

an eye out. Really

39:32

pay attention to whatever

39:34

self-images you construct,

39:36

you create, because they

39:38

are simply a concept in the mind. You

39:47

know, concepts become

39:49

limiting even

39:52

about things that seem more

39:54

fundamental, like age or

39:58

culture. or race.

40:03

How old is your breath? You

40:09

know, is anger or love or joy

40:11

or delusion

40:14

or mindfulness? Is

40:16

that European or African or Asian

40:18

or American? No,

40:22

it has nothing to do. There

40:24

are more fundamental realities. Even

40:30

the idea of race is a

40:32

construct, seen

40:35

to be a construct,

40:37

without any basis in

40:39

science at all. You

40:41

know, it would be like creating

40:43

the concept of race based

40:45

on the color of one's eyes, rather

40:48

than the color of one's skin. There's

40:51

no basis for that whole

40:53

construct, and yet

40:56

look at the immense amount of

40:58

suffering that has been

41:00

caused by people

41:03

buying into that mental construct.

41:10

Now, this is not to say that

41:12

these concepts don't point to

41:15

certain differences of experiences. We have.

41:18

Because they do. There are different cultures.

41:22

And I feel very differently at 72 than I did

41:24

at 22. So

41:27

there are differences that

41:29

are experienced, but if we get

41:31

caught by the concept about them,

41:35

it solidifies the sense of who

41:38

we are, and we're missing

41:40

or overlooking

41:44

the underlying commonalities of

41:46

all our experience. And

41:52

we fix the sense of

41:54

ourselves, and we fix the sense of who

41:56

others are, all

41:59

through this attached to concepts

42:01

not realizing that

42:03

they are concepts and constructs. So

42:11

the deepest conditioning

42:13

and habit of mind and

42:17

the root cause of so much suffering

42:20

in the world is

42:23

the attachment we have to

42:26

the concept of self, to

42:28

this mental fabrication. The

42:35

idea and often it is

42:37

a felt sense that

42:41

there is someone behind experience

42:44

to whom it's all happening.

42:48

We create a reference point

42:52

for all of our experience and

42:55

then we call that reference point

42:57

self, I. So

43:00

how does this happen? Because right here if

43:03

we explore it we can see how

43:06

the sense of self, how

43:08

and why the sense of self is

43:11

so strongly conditioned. We

43:17

become attached to and identified

43:20

with this notion of self

43:22

because we are relying on

43:24

a superficial perception. It's

43:27

like looking at the tree and

43:29

thinking we're seeing tree and not

43:33

realizing the tree is a word in our

43:35

mind. You

43:37

know we get up in the morning, we

43:40

look in the mirror, there's

43:43

Joseph, there's

43:45

me, that's who

43:47

I am. And

43:49

then not looking more deeply

43:52

to actually see and experience what

43:55

is really there. So

43:57

an example that I think we've

43:59

used different times during the retreat, is

44:04

that of a rainbow. You

44:06

know, after a storm, rainbow often appears

44:08

and we see it, and

44:11

it's beautiful, and we feel a certain delight.

44:16

But if we have some

44:18

strong mindfulness and wisdom, we

44:21

not only see the rainbow, but

44:24

we actually can see and

44:27

understand the underlying

44:29

reality of air and

44:32

light and moisture, the

44:34

conditions which create the appearance

44:36

of rainbow. This

44:42

allows us, when we see the underlying

44:45

realities, and not just

44:47

the superficial perception, it

44:51

allows us to delight in

44:53

the joy of it, in the beauty of

44:55

it, at

44:58

the same time not being attached to

45:00

it, because we realize it is

45:03

only an appearance. So

45:06

we might think of self, of

45:09

Joseph, of each one of us, like

45:13

a rainbow. There

45:16

is a pattern to all the different

45:18

conditions of mind and body that are

45:20

coming together moment after moment, and

45:22

we can recognize the pattern, and

45:25

we can name it, we can use a concept, and

45:28

it's fine to use the concept self. But

45:34

we don't want to become misled

45:39

into believing that that

45:42

concept refers to something

45:45

underneath the appearance. And

45:48

this is precisely our exploration

45:50

in meditation, going beyond the

45:52

appearance to see and experience

45:55

all the changing elements of

45:58

this mind and body. We

46:01

really see moment after moment what

46:04

it is that's actually arising. So

46:08

the question arises, can arise,

46:12

well, on the level of rainbow or

46:14

the level of self. We

46:17

are seeing that. We are seeing the rainbow. Is it

46:19

real? Is the rainbow

46:22

real? So

46:25

one teacher, one Tibetan teacher expressed a

46:29

response to this question really

46:32

clearly. With

46:36

regard to the question, is the self real? He

46:40

said, it's not that you're not

46:42

real. We all

46:45

think we're real. And

46:47

that's not wrong. But

46:50

you think you're really real. You

46:54

exaggerate it. I

46:57

love that. We

46:59

are real and we interact and just

47:01

in all the conventional ways we do.

47:05

That's not wrong. But

47:07

we're not really real in

47:10

the way we think we are. And

47:14

the practice on meditation is to

47:17

open the doorway to that

47:19

understanding. How

47:25

much of our sense of self comes

47:28

from a superficial perception of

47:30

the body? First

47:34

response to who are you? This is me.

47:36

This is who I am. And

47:39

now we point to our bodies. Because

47:46

the body seems so solid and real.

47:51

So in sitting or in moving about,

47:54

begin to notice how

47:57

frequently we overlay. our

48:01

experience of the body with certain

48:03

concepts of shoulders or

48:05

back or arms. But

48:11

we never feel the

48:14

back. We never feel

48:16

the arm or the

48:18

shoulders. There is no sensation

48:20

called shoulder. There

48:23

is no sensation called arm.

48:27

What we're feeling is

48:30

tightness or pressure or lightness

48:32

or vibration. That's

48:34

our actual experience. But

48:38

so habitually we overlay that

48:40

experience with a concept and

48:44

then I dent my shoulder,

48:46

my back, my arm.

48:49

How often would you say my

48:53

tightness or

48:55

my pressure? That

48:58

hardly ever comes up and

49:01

yet very commonly we'd say, oh yeah,

49:03

my shoulder, my back. And

49:06

for conventional purposes it's fine but

49:09

it is misleading because

49:13

the concepts we use don't

49:16

change. Back

49:18

today, back yesterday, back tomorrow.

49:22

And because the concept doesn't

49:24

change, we

49:27

think that there is some underlying

49:29

reality that doesn't change. And

49:32

yet as soon as we go beneath

49:34

the concept, the actual felt experience, you

49:38

see the body as a

49:40

changing energy field. We

49:43

have a very different relationship to

49:46

this experience that we're calling body. Thank

49:51

you. I

50:06

want to reiterate that

50:10

concepts can be useful. We can

50:12

use them in the service of

50:14

mindfulness. And so just as an example

50:16

of that, you know, one of the

50:19

instructions early in the retreat was

50:22

to use the phrase, there is a body.

50:25

To use it sitting and

50:28

moving about, there is a

50:30

body. So we're using the concept, body.

50:32

But what is the actual experience

50:34

you have? When

50:36

you drop in, there is a

50:38

body in sitting or moving. The

50:45

experience becomes, there is a

50:47

body. And

50:49

then we're actually feeling the body

50:52

as sensations in space. The

50:55

concept falls away because

50:58

it has focused us in the

51:01

actual experience of what's being felt. So

51:04

concepts can be useful, but

51:07

we have to see that they're only appointing. It

51:16

turns out that this talk is going to have two

51:18

ports, this week

51:21

and next week. Because

51:24

I'm about halfway through. But

51:31

I'll just spend a few

51:33

more minutes and it will lead

51:35

into the talk

51:38

for next week. So

51:44

a strong sense of self also

51:48

happens, as you know, when

51:51

we become identified with thoughts and

51:53

emotions. You

51:56

know, with all the internal stories.

52:00

we tell about ourselves and about the world.

52:08

And we've talked so much over these weeks of

52:11

really paying attention to the

52:13

empty insubstantial nature of thought.

52:16

And I find this to be one of the most freeing,

52:20

immediate benefits of mindfulness

52:23

of the

52:25

mind of thoughts. When we look directly, not at the content of the thought,

52:31

but at the nature of thought

52:34

itself. You know, we've spoken about this often and

52:37

this is really just a reminder. As different

52:39

thoughts come, you

52:41

might hold the question,

52:44

what is a thought? And

52:46

when you look at it so directly, you

52:49

see there's not much there. And

52:52

yet when we don't see it, and

52:54

yet when we don't see it so directly, we

52:58

live in this mind created world. It's

53:00

as if we're living in the dream

53:02

of our thoughts with

53:07

all of the emotions

53:10

and reactions that

53:12

come along with it. So

53:15

the story of a Zen hermit

53:18

monk living in the mountains.

53:21

He was a great artist and he lived

53:23

in a cave. And

53:25

for whatever reason, he spent years

53:30

painting in great detail, painting

53:35

of a tiger on the wall of the cave. And

53:38

he was such a great artist. And

53:40

he did it with such precision that when he

53:42

finished, he looked at it and

53:44

got frightened. I

53:51

love the mental note painted

53:53

tiger. When

53:56

you're caught up in some story. You

54:00

know in some train of thought in

54:03

some big drama you

54:06

might make the note painted tiger

54:11

It's just thoughts arising in the mind

54:14

and if we can see them in that way

54:16

we're not creating a sense

54:18

of self by identifying with them

54:20

and Then the thoughts

54:22

come and go and we learn from them

54:25

whatever we need to learn, but there's no

54:27

contraction. There's no constriction

54:30

no creation of self in

54:33

those thoughts Okay

54:46

next next week I'm going to continue with

54:48

this and how we

54:52

Create the sense of self

54:54

not only with identification with

54:56

the body The thoughts but

54:59

also with moods and emotions

55:02

and even the identification with

55:04

consciousness itself But

55:09

I think I'd like to end Somewhat

55:16

confessional the

55:18

reading I'm about to read

55:21

I Think

55:25

it comes from one of my favorite genres

55:29

of reading which is

55:32

mysteries and spy books and

55:35

But you never know where wisdom comes

55:38

from You know

55:40

and generally these genres

55:42

look down upon however

55:48

I Like to share with you

55:50

some of the wisdom It's

55:53

from a book called Bangkok

55:55

tattoo by John Burdett

55:58

and it's about a Buddhist detective Okay,

56:03

so

56:07

these are my closing remarks. You

56:13

see, dear reader, speaking

56:15

frankly and without

56:18

any intention to offend, you

56:22

are a ramshackle collection

56:24

of coincidences held

56:27

together by a desperate and irrational

56:30

clinging. There

56:33

is no center at all. Everything

56:35

depends on everything else. Your

56:39

body depends on the environment. Your

56:43

thoughts depend on whatever

56:45

junk floats in from the media. Your

56:49

emotions are largely from the

56:52

reptilian end of your DNA. Your

56:56

intellect is a

56:58

chemical computer that can't

57:00

add up a zillionth as fast as a

57:02

pocket calculator. And

57:06

even your best side is a

57:08

superficial piece of social programming that

57:11

will fall apart just as

57:13

soon as your spouse leaves with the kids

57:15

and the money in your joint account, or

57:19

the economy starts to fail and you get

57:21

the sack, or you

57:23

get conscripted into some idiot's

57:25

war. To

57:28

name this amorphous morass

57:32

of self-pity, vanity,

57:34

and despair self

57:37

is not only the height of hubris, it

57:40

is also proof, if anyone

57:42

needed, that we are

57:45

above all a delusional species.

57:48

We are in a trance from birth to

57:50

death. Prick

57:52

the balloon and what do you get?

57:56

Emptiness. Take

57:58

two steps in the the divine

58:00

art of Buddhist meditation and

58:03

you will find yourself on a planet you

58:06

no longer recognize. Those

58:09

needs and fears you thought were the

58:11

very bones of your being turn

58:14

out to be no more than bugs

58:16

in your software. Yes.

58:21

So you

58:23

could think of our practice as debugging the

58:26

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