0:00

Which is 100%

0:00

more enjoyable than wasting

0:03

energy on past events that you

0:03

can't change or worrying about

0:07

future events that you have no

0:07

control over. So don't spend

0:11

that precious brain energy on

0:11

anything but living in the

0:14

moment. Hi, I'm Jay, a certified

0:14

life coach and former educator

0:19

who believes that rediscovering

0:19

ourselves takes just a little

0:22

bit of courage. This show is

0:22

focused on helping you develop

0:26

the mindset and the courage to

0:26

regain your confidence to

0:29

redefine yourself and to

0:29

reimagine your life one episode

0:34

at a time. Hey, positivity

0:34

Percy, your Ben, what's shakin

0:41

in your world right now. For me,

0:41

I just completed a whirlwind

0:45

three weeks full of endings and

0:45

closures. Move both of our kids

0:49

into their adult apartments one

0:49

week, completed a six year board

0:53

term for a professional

0:53

association I was part of in my

0:56

previous career, I presented at

0:56

that conference on leveling up

1:00

your leadership and finding your

1:00

purpose. And I also attended my

1:03

daughter's graduation from

1:03

college. It's been crazy,

1:08

exhausting, exciting and

1:08

rewarding. And through it all.

1:13

And I kept running across people

1:13

who asked me, you know, what are

1:16

you up to now? And when I tell

1:16

them, that I'm a life coach,

1:20

they often ask well, how does

1:20

that all work? What's the work

1:24

involved in improving your life?

1:24

Well, welcome to episode 66,

1:28

we're high dive into what it

1:28

means to do the work as you seek

1:32

to improve your life. Now, in

1:32

researching this topic, I found

1:35

a really good article about 10

1:35

things you could do right now to

1:39

jumpstart your life. And I kind

1:39

of drift on it myself a little

1:43

bit from my own point of view.

1:43

So are you ready? All right,

1:46

let's dive in. Number one on

1:46

that list, write a better story

1:52

for your day. So what do you

1:52

want to accomplish today? You're

1:57

just sitting there listening to

1:57

this podcast? What do you want

2:00

to accomplish today. So try

2:00

setting the tone or vibe when

2:03

you rise up in the morning, like

2:03

when you get out of bed, maybe

2:07

you get up a little bit earlier,

2:07

maybe you try going to bed a

2:10

little bit earlier, maybe you

2:10

definitely want to drink more

2:13

water or work on saying sorry,

2:13

more often. Perhaps you want to

2:18

try to be less judgmental of

2:18

others and, most importantly of

2:22

yourself. Maybe you want to go

2:22

for a walk or write out some

2:25

affirmations. Perhaps you want

2:25

to grab a meal with friends and

2:28

catch up or call someone in your

2:28

life you haven't connected with

2:31

in a while. Anything you can do

2:31

to change the script and try

2:36

something new, is a wonderful,

2:36

it's like really an incredible

2:40

starting point for writing a

2:40

better story for your day. So

2:45

what does that gonna look like

2:45

for you today? Number two,

2:49

identify what's keeping you

2:49

stuck. Now this might be a

2:53

little bit harder for you to do.

2:53

But we're gonna give it a try.

2:55

So sit with your thoughts,

2:55

perhaps journal, put all your

3:00

thoughts on the table and be

3:00

open and curious as to what you

3:03

might be holding back or what

3:03

might be holding you back.

3:07

Generally, in my experience in

3:07

both working with clients, and

3:10

also getting coached myself, is

3:10

that what keeps us stuck? Is our

3:15

thoughts. Our thoughts about our

3:15

circumstances, always generate

3:20

feelings, which inevitably drive

3:20

our actions which ultimately

3:25

drive our results. So being open

3:25

to examining your thoughts about

3:30

your life, and the situations in

3:30

your life. That's a really good

3:34

way to determine why you're

3:34

stuck. But it all starts with

3:38

your thoughts. So ask yourself,

3:38

are you having thought errors?

3:43

And what does that even mean?

3:43

I'm having a thought error?

3:46

Well, oftentimes, we see

3:46

circumstances in our lives. And

3:50

we believe that they're true.

3:50

Okay, and sometimes

3:56

circumstances are true. But what

3:56

you want to look at is the facts

4:00

of those circumstances. Is it

4:00

really true or is it just a

4:03

thought you're having about it?

4:03

When you start to do that,

4:07

that's how you start to get

4:07

yourself unstuck. Number three,

4:12

go to bed earlier tonight. I can

4:12

hear it now. I can hear it. Jay

4:16

Jay, listen, I'm a night owl. I

4:16

thrive at night, I do my best

4:19

work at night. I hear you. And I used to be the

4:20

exact same way. I used to stay

4:25

up until one in the morning, two

4:25

in the morning. I could sleep,

4:28

you know, a couple hours for

4:28

five, six hours and then you're

4:32

fresh and ready to go. But it

4:32

wasn't the best for me. So I

4:36

know now getting at least seven

4:36

and a half hours of sleep goes a

4:40

long way to improving your life.

4:40

And the key here at least this

4:45

for me means it's lights out 930

4:45

every night. And I find and

4:51

perhaps you will as well, that

4:51

when you have a consistent

4:53

bedtime. Over time, you start to

4:53

see that you'll rise before your

4:58

alarm like you'll start to Get

4:58

up and wake up before your alarm

5:02

goes off. So in my case that 930

5:02

Bedtime means I naturally wake

5:06

up around 515 530 before the

5:06

alarm goes off. Again, the key

5:11

here is consistency. Maybe it

5:11

means 10 o'clock view or 1030.

5:15

But regardless be consistent in

5:15

getting to sleep the same time

5:19

every single night. And if you

5:19

can go to bed earlier than you

5:23

have been gone to bed. Number

5:23

four, participate in a physical

5:28

activity that you enjoy. Don't

5:28

overthink this one, alright?

5:31

Don't overthink it. If you're

5:31

not physically active, don't

5:34

think you have to go all in and

5:34

run a ton or lift weight,

5:37

whatever it may be that's going

5:37

through your head right now.

5:41

Start small, even taking a 20

5:41

minute walk can do wonders for

5:46

your mind and your body. If you

5:46

don't like walking, all right,

5:51

what about riding a bike? Or

5:51

what about dancing? Seriously,

5:55

any physical activity you can

5:55

incorporate into your daily

5:58

routine will set your right for

5:58

me it's walking, it gives me

6:02

time to think because we tend to

6:02

process and sometimes it even

6:06

helps me plan my day. More

6:06

importantly, it gets the body

6:10

movement and the blood flowing.

6:10

So participate in a physical

6:13

activity that you enjoy and get

6:13

things rolling for yourself.

6:16

Number five, focus on right now.

6:16

So now as humans, we spent a

6:23

great deal of time replaying

6:23

past situations, and worrying

6:28

about the future. And focusing

6:28

on right now plays such a key

6:32

role in improving our lives.

6:32

Because when you focus on the

6:36

right now use spend that very

6:36

precious brain energy on

6:40

experiencing life in the moment,

6:40

which is 100% more enjoyable

6:46

than wasting energy on past

6:46

events that you can't change or

6:51

worrying about future events

6:51

that you have no control over.

6:54

And the truth is they might not

6:54

even take place. So don't spend

6:59

that precious brain energy on

6:59

anything but living in the

7:02

moment and focusing on right

7:02

now. Number six, set realistic

7:08

and attainable goals. Okay,

7:08

here's here's where we we often

7:12

trip up right? Those goals get

7:12

in the way. When we want to make

7:15

a change in our lives. We

7:15

sometimes well, probably more

7:19

than sometimes pretty regularly,

7:19

we make huge giant unattainable

7:22

goals. Think New Year's Eve

7:22

resolutions, right? There's a

7:27

reason the majority of us do not

7:27

keep those resolutions, let

7:30

alone achieve them. And if you

7:30

want more info on that, check

7:34

out episode to my New Year's

7:34

resolution, pretty good episode,

7:38

kick start your year today work

7:38

on setting a small, realistic

7:43

and attainable goal. For

7:43

example, maybe you want to drink

7:46

more water, right? Simple. So

7:46

what does that look like? Maybe

7:50

it's just drinking two glasses

7:50

of water for seven days this

7:54

week. Then maybe next week, you

7:54

do five days, or you do four

7:57

days and you do three glasses.

7:57

As long as you start small, and

8:02

increase your intake even

8:02

slightly. You're making

8:05

progress. Right? We're all

8:05

imperfectly perfect. So making

8:09

tiny gains is very important.

8:09

And you my friend are more

8:13

likely to keep at it with small

8:13

goals talked about this before

8:16

small wins small gains, micro

8:16

gains. Now whatever you want to

8:19

call it, tiny is better. Now if

8:19

you say you're going to drink

8:23

100 ounces of water every day,

8:23

starting tomorrow, you're not

8:26

going to reach that goal and

8:26

attain it, you might do it day

8:28

one. But it's not a habit at

8:28

that point. So start small and

8:32

build up go slow here on this

8:32

one. Number seven, reframe a

8:38

situation in a positive light.

8:38

So this is really closely tied

8:42

to number two, identifying what

8:42

is keeping you stuck. Why?

8:46

Well, when we are stuck, it's

8:46

because we create negative

8:51

thoughts about the circumstances

8:51

of our lives. If you work to

8:55

reframe those circumstances, or

8:55

any situation really any

8:58

situation on any given day. If

8:58

you reframe them and view them

9:03

in a positive light, something

9:03

starts to click. For example,

9:07

let's say your boss chews you

9:07

out in front of others during a

9:09

meeting. All too often we want

9:09

to look inward and say what did

9:13

I do? Make sense? Right? We're

9:13

humans. That's what we want to

9:16

do. But what if we took a

9:16

different approach? What if you

9:21

chalked it up to your boss

9:21

having a bad day? Or maybe that

9:24

newborn at home isn't sleeping

9:24

well for your boss? Or perhaps

9:27

his daughter is dating a jerk?

9:27

Or maybe you didn't get

9:30

breakfast and his blood sugar's

9:30

low. So often, we want to blame

9:34

ourselves when in reality, it

9:34

has nothing to do with us. When

9:39

I was wrapping up my last job, I

9:39

had been there for about 15

9:42

years and had about two months

9:42

left to go. And one day I just

9:46

snapped with a colleague just

9:46

snapped. Was it something that

9:50

they did wrong? No, not at all.

9:50

Nothing. They didn't do anything

9:54

wrong. They were doing their

9:54

job. It had everything to do

9:58

with my response to something

9:58

they Did because I mean, I was

10:02

having trouble with closure, I

10:02

was having trouble with moving

10:05

on. I was feeling like being

10:05

left in the dust. Now, we don't

10:10

always know what's going on with

10:10

others. So reframing situations

10:14

in a more positive light can

10:14

help. Give it a try. Number

10:19

eight, be grateful and pass it

10:19

on. If you're not practicing

10:23

gratitude on a daily basis, my

10:23

friends you are missing out. I

10:28

know, you might say, I don't

10:28

have anything to be grateful for

10:30

today. And I would say go deeper

10:30

look deeper. Do you have your

10:36

health? You have food on the

10:36

table? What about a roof over

10:40

your head? Sometimes, reframing

10:40

what we have in our lives rather

10:45

than focus on what we don't

10:45

have. We often find that we're

10:49

more grateful than we ever

10:49

realized. When you practice

10:53

gratitude, and you also pass it

10:53

on to others, you'll find that

10:57

your life will improve. Now, I

10:57

know that not everyone is a

11:00

believer in karma in the

11:00

universe, but I see its power

11:03

every day in my life. And maybe

11:03

you'll see it in your life too.

11:08

Number nine, relinquish what you

11:08

can't control. Control the

11:14

controllable now I think the

11:14

best advice I can offer you here

11:18

is to go and listen to episode

11:18

36. With my friend Laura

11:21

tyranny, all about control a

11:21

control over her advice on

11:25

controlling what you can control

11:25

and releasing yourself from

11:29

everything else is pretty cool.

11:29

So number nine, relinquish what

11:32

you can't control and go listen

11:32

to that episode. After you're

11:35

finished this one. Number 10.

11:35

Create an intention of being

11:41

intentional. Whoa, what a

11:41

concept right? One thing I've

11:46

been working on recently is

11:46

doing tensional thought

11:48

creation. Now I'm planning an

11:48

episode on that topic. But in

11:51

short, when you create

11:51

intentions in your life,

11:55

intentional thoughts,

11:55

intentional actions, intentional

11:58

ways you communicate intentional

11:58

ways you approach relationships,

12:02

everything really everything in

12:02

life. When you find that you do

12:05

that, intentionally, your life

12:05

will improve drastically why?

12:11

The long and short of it is that

12:11

when you create intention in

12:14

your life, your mind does the

12:14

work without worrying about

12:20

trying to figure out like the

12:20

why behind it. When you create

12:24

thoughts intentionally. When

12:24

you're intentional about your

12:27

life, you free your brain up to

12:27

do other more important work.

12:31

Okay, so that's it 10 ways you

12:31

can improve your life right now.

12:37

My friends, this episode has

12:37

given me a lot to think about. I

12:40

hope it has done the same for

12:40

you. And that's a wrap. That's

12:45

wrap on another episode of

12:45

positivity on fire. Remember,

12:49

your gift of time listening to

12:49

this show does mean the world to

12:51

me my friends, and as always be

12:51

well be happy be you. And until

12:57

the next time, your quest for

12:57

positivity begin today, a

13:01

positivity policy. If you're

13:01

ready to coach yourself, I

13:04

invite you to download my free

13:04

workbook. Seven Steps to regain

13:08

redefined and reimagine your

13:08

life. Head over to www dot Jason

13:13

ramsden.com backslash my dash

13:13

links and click on the download

13:18

link at the top of the page.

13:18

It's that simple. And hey, if

13:22

you're interested in working

13:22

with me as your own personal

13:24

life coach, visit Jason

13:24

ramsden.com and click Get

13:28

Started in the upper right hand

13:28

corner of the screen. I hope to

13:31

talk to you soon until then have

13:31

an amazing day. Positivity on

13:37

fire is a production of impact

13:37

one media LLC. All rights

13:41

reserved.