0:05

Welcome to Islamic Life Coach School Podcast

0:07

. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast

0:09

and your life will be unrecognizably successful

0:12

. Now your host , dr Kamal

0:14

Atar . Hello , hello , hello

0:16

everyone . Peace and blessings be upon all of you . If

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this podcast publishes when I'm predicting

0:21

it will , then , inshallah , you've had a great

0:23

month of Ramadan and you've enjoyed your Eid . May

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Allah protect everyone in this ummah . May

0:29

Allah accept all of your acts of ibadah and worship

0:32

. May this ummah see

0:34

a time of peace and prosperity , ameen

0:37

. So

0:39

what I want to talk to you about today has to do with the

0:41

topic of people pleasing , and I've recorded

0:43

multiple previous podcasts

0:45

on this . But I've been approaching

0:47

people pleasing with a different angle

0:49

in my coaching and it's been very effective

0:52

. So I thought that you guys will benefit

0:54

, so I decided to share . People

0:56

pleasing is a behavior that is based

0:58

on fawning response . This

1:01

is very prevalent in women with

1:03

a history of trauma and it works

1:05

towards our survival because if

1:07

you keep people around you happy , then

1:09

there's a less chance of them harming

1:11

you . But this protective response

1:14

takes a heavy toll on the psyche because

1:16

this adaptation requires a high

1:18

level of self-sacrifice . It

1:20

involves a relentless effort to

1:22

achieve what is essentially impossible

1:24

. You creating happiness of

1:27

others . Other people's

1:29

happiness is not your responsibility

1:31

. It's theirs . A

1:33

lot of times during your healing process

1:35

, you might recognize your people-pleasing

1:37

tendencies and you find

1:39

it easy to acknowledge . You seek

1:42

out resources to overcome and heal from

1:44

them . But in many cases

1:46

, these tendencies are very

1:48

cleverly masked , taking

1:50

on an appearance of a positive trait . So

1:53

, as a result of you thinking you're doing something

1:55

good , not only you're unlikely

1:57

to want to shed these traits , but

2:00

you may also find yourself valuing

2:02

them highly regarding

2:04

these qualities in yourself , even

2:07

when these people-pleasing tendencies

2:09

are causing you significant distress in

2:11

your life . So in this podcast

2:13

episode , I'm going to tell you all

2:16

of these camouflages that effectively

2:18

hide the real essence of people-pleasing

2:20

, which leads many of you into

2:23

an outright denial about these patterns

2:25

. And , as always

2:27

, this isn't about placing blame , as

2:29

many of us , myself included

2:32

, are unknowingly assigning

2:34

creative labels and identities

2:36

to cover up our people-pleasing behaviors

2:38

, misinterpreting them as strengths

2:41

. And , as you might imagine , it's

2:43

not easy to spot an issue when it's

2:45

dressed up as something admirable . So

2:48

if any of it that I'm about to share with

2:50

you is coming to your awareness for the first

2:52

time , don't blame yourself . It

2:54

is completely natural . So

2:56

the most crucial point here is , despite

2:59

of their deceptive appearance , these

3:01

behaviors hinder the development

3:04

of assertiveness and self-respect

3:06

, and without these key qualities

3:08

, living a balanced and empowered

3:11

life will be elusive . So

3:14

what we're doing here is trying to identify

3:16

our people-pleasing tendencies that are masquerading

3:19

as positive traits , so

3:21

we can assert ourselves better and

3:23

engage in more self-respect and self-love

3:25

. As a result , we

3:27

create more respect for the world and people

3:29

around us . So I've discovered

3:32

about 10 such camouflages

3:34

or cover-ups , and I will

3:36

list them out and I will explain each of them

3:38

1 . Rationalization

3:40

of over-commitment . 2 . Attributing

3:44

stress to factors other than the people

3:46

who are directly involved . 3

3:48

. Believing that you're just being

3:50

kind . 4 . Dismissing

3:53

and suppressing your feelings of resentment

3:55

. 5 . Priding yourself

3:57

in being the go-to person . 6

4:00

. Denying the desire of

4:02

approval . 7 . Underplaying

4:04

your sacrifices . 8 . Confusing

4:07

self-worth with other people's happiness

4:09

. 9 . Insisting that

4:11

you're in control . 10 . Claiming

4:14

that being nice is a part of your personality

4:17

. So I'm going to describe

4:19

each of them and I might shuffle

4:21

them around , and there might not be 10

4:23

of them in the description , but you're going

4:25

to get a lot out of this podcast . To pay attention

4:27

. These behaviors that I'm

4:29

going to talk about are the invisibility

4:32

cloak on your people-pleasing , making

4:34

it difficult to recognize and further

4:36

fueling your denial . If people-pleasing

4:39

remains unaddressed , it will continue

4:41

to inflict micro-trauma , not

4:44

only on yourself but potentially

4:46

on the future generations that you might be responsible

4:48

for . Because denying your tendency

4:50

of people pleasing is even more harmful

4:53

than the behavior itself . Because

4:55

this lack of self-awareness prevents

4:57

you from identifying , addressing

5:00

, healing or correcting from the behavior

5:02

at all . This leads to a continuous drain

5:05

on your emotional and mental well-being and

5:07

ultimately , this is what's obstructing your path

5:09

to developing a genuine self-confidence

5:12

and healthy interpersonal

5:14

relationships . Because

5:16

, in my opinion , what remains hidden

5:18

cannot be fixed . So let's

5:20

start with proper diagnoses , shall we so

5:23

? Number one was rationalizing overcommitment

5:26

. Even when your schedule

5:28

is overflowing , you're convinced

5:30

that you're just doing it to be helpful

5:32

and you're the reliable person . You're

5:35

not recognizing that you're overextending

5:37

yourself to please others . This

5:39

is a rationalization of overcommitment

5:42

and overworking . You might be thinking

5:44

things like I'm just a hard worker

5:46

, I get things done , I'm reliable

5:49

. If you're already swamped with

5:51

projects at work and if your boss

5:53

asks you to take on one more task

5:55

, this additional project , because so-and-so

5:58

can't work late , if you have a tendency

6:00

to say yes because you're too uncomfortable

6:02

to say no , then you rationalize it by saying that I'm a team player . I contribute a lot to say yes because

6:04

you're too uncomfortable to say no . Then you rationalize it by saying that I'm a team player

6:07

. I contribute a lot to this . I

6:09

have a lot to prove . This is you

6:11

rationalizing your overcommitment . In

6:14

the meanwhile , the home situation is that

6:16

you're exhausted , irritable and

6:18

you call it normal work stress . And

6:20

you rationalize all of this as , of

6:22

course , it's stressful . You have a very stressful

6:25

and demanding job . You

6:27

just have to understand here that it might

6:29

be less stressful if you just say

6:31

no to extra work , if you decide

6:33

not to bring work home , if you

6:35

create clear work-life balance . All

6:38

of this is a direct result of your inability

6:40

to decline additional work because

6:43

you don't want to disappoint the boss or

6:45

you don't want her to be uncomfortable with your refusal

6:47

. The next one is

6:49

you attributing your stress to everything

6:51

else but your people-pleasing tendencies

6:53

. Meaning you acknowledge that you're feeling

6:55

stressed and overwhelmed , but you say

6:57

it's because of the busy season at work . You

7:00

say that it's because of the flu season

7:02

and everyone else being sick . While

7:04

all of that might be true , you still

7:07

have the option of not overworking

7:09

yourself If you're in denial of your

7:11

people-pleasing . If you're unable to say

7:13

no to additional requests and commitments

7:15

, then you'll inevitably be piling

7:17

up more work for yourself . If

7:20

you find yourself working late hours , volunteering

7:22

for tasks that nobody else wanted , and

7:25

you take pride in being available for the

7:27

family and friends , no matter how short of

7:29

a notice , your perpetual tiredness

7:31

is not because people are requesting

7:34

all of these things from you . It's because

7:36

you haven't learned how to say no with respect

7:38

. The next cover-up

7:41

for people pleasing is believing

7:43

that you're just being kind . You

7:45

view your constant agreement and acquiescence

7:48

as simply being kind , while failing

7:50

to see how you might be compromising

7:52

your own needs and desires in the process

7:54

. And then you might be falsely believing

7:57

that this is your way of showing kindness

7:59

to the world

8:01

taking

8:04

up responsibility for baking cupcakes

8:07

for the PTA bake sale on top

8:09

of the weekend project that you agreed to do

8:11

for your sister , and you agreed to watch

8:13

the neighbor's kid at last minute because

8:16

you want to be kind . I'm not sure

8:18

how much of kindness will be left in you once

8:20

that weekend is over . I

8:26

mean when you feel run down with an avalanche of tasks and responsibilities after

8:28

a busy weekend and you have to get ready for Monday work

8:30

. Kindness might not be your most

8:32

dominant emotion in that moment . I

8:35

know you might be thinking that I said yes to

8:37

all of these things because I want to be kind

8:39

to other people , but their perception

8:41

of your kindness is completely independent

8:44

of your efforts . Perception of

8:46

your kindness depends only on

8:48

their thoughts about you . You could be

8:50

bending over backwards for anyone around

8:53

you and they can still think that

8:55

you're not kind enough . So be very

8:57

careful . If you're overextending yourself

8:59

in an unceasing quest of kindness

9:01

towards others , this might

9:03

just be your cover-up to people-pleasing

9:06

. You can totally value being

9:09

kind towards others and still preserve

9:11

your own mental and physical wellness

9:13

. In the Quran , surah Baqarah

9:16

, chapter 2 , ayah 195

9:18

, it says and do not throw yourselves

9:21

and your own hands into destruction

9:23

by refraining , and do

9:26

good . Indeed , allah

9:28

loves the doers of good . So

9:30

of course it's preferred to be kind

9:32

. It is an amazing value to have . I

9:35

myself pride myself on being kind

9:37

to others and work very hard to keep

9:39

that my priority . But nowhere

9:41

in Islam does it say that you have to resort

9:43

to self-harm just to maintain

9:46

kindness , because people-pleasing

9:48

is a significant form of self-harm . If

9:50

kindness has crossed over to self-harm

9:53

, then the interpersonal relationships

9:55

are no longer a source of comfort to

9:57

you , and when that happens , your

10:00

kindness is harming you , and that

10:02

is not what Islam teaches . The

10:04

next cover-up and I believe we are

10:06

on number four that has to do

10:08

with dismissing feelings of resentment

10:11

. If you feel resentment or frustration

10:13

when you think about others who are constantly

10:15

asking you for more , but you're in close

10:18

relationships with them , then you have

10:20

a tendency to disregard and ignore

10:22

this resentment because you don't want

10:24

to carry ill feelings towards others

10:26

and again , this is an amazing

10:29

value to carry . But that does not

10:31

mean that you disregard your resentment

10:33

altogether . This feeling tells

10:35

you that you have overstepped your personal boundaries

10:37

in an effort to make others happy . Take

10:40

the lesson that resentment teaches

10:42

you , and then you don't have

10:44

to continually engage in it , because

10:46

once you acknowledge your resentment

10:48

, it becomes easier to let go

10:51

of thoughts that create anger and judgment

10:53

towards others . And

10:55

you'll notice that it's difficult for you to

10:57

create closeness in your relationships

10:59

because of this simmering sense of resentment

11:01

and irritation towards family

11:04

, friends , colleagues . Your

11:06

resentment is not from the demands they're

11:08

placing on you . It's from your

11:10

inability to hear your own capacity

11:13

. It's from your own inability

11:15

to listen to your body and mind's demands

11:17

, you will have the tendency to dismiss

11:20

this feeling of discontentment . You

11:22

will have the tendency to classify it as

11:24

trivial or unjustified , because

11:27

at some level you're thinking if you

11:29

don't classify this judgment

11:31

and resentment as trivial , then

11:33

you'll have to confront others for their behaviors

11:35

, which absolutely is not the case

11:38

. I mean , you can do that

11:40

, but you'll have to work yourself up to

11:42

that level of confidence . In the meanwhile

11:44

, all that needs to happen is your acknowledgement

11:46

of this resentment and working towards

11:48

curbing your people-pleasing tendencies . The

11:51

fifth cover-up is priding yourself

11:54

in being indispensable , always

11:56

available , the go-to problem

11:59

solver for everyone . Interpreting

12:01

this as a sign of your capability

12:03

and reliability acts

12:05

as a camouflage to your people-pleasing

12:07

, because what this is doing is

12:09

blocking you from realizing that you're overdoing

12:12

it . In this case , you might

12:14

be driving a significant sense

12:16

of your self-worth by identifying

12:18

as being indispensable and

12:20

reliable . You might even boast

12:23

about your ability to handle multiple tasks

12:25

at one time and being there for

12:27

everyone , and your brain will constantly

12:30

interpret this evidence as your strength

12:32

and character . But if this overlooks

12:35

your mental and physical health and your

12:37

other priorities , then it is harmful

12:39

for you to insist on viewing this

12:41

as a positive trait . Again , you

12:44

can pride yourself as being available

12:46

and the problem solver for your family

12:49

, friends , community . But when it

12:51

reaches and encroaches into your personal

12:53

space and starts to take time away

12:55

from the other activities that you also value

12:57

, then it's absolutely acting

13:00

as a cover-up for people-pleasing , alright

13:03

. So the next one is extremely subtle , but

13:05

it is very powerful , and this

13:07

is denying the desire of

13:10

approval . Most women come

13:12

to me for coaching , starting their sentences

13:14

by saying I'm not looking for anyone's

13:16

approval , I don't care what anyone else

13:18

thinks of me . But there's

13:21

always a but , and anything that follows

13:23

after that sentence has to do with people-pleasing

13:25

. So let me tell you that

13:27

caring what other people think about

13:30

us is an extremely ingrained

13:32

thought . It is a primal

13:34

, subconscious , absolutely

13:36

essential part of our survival mechanism

13:39

. That's ingrained deeply in all of

13:41

our brains . So there's no point running

13:43

away from it . There's no point pretending

13:45

that it doesn't exist . So what I'm

13:47

inviting you to do here is just be curious

13:50

about why you're doing what you're doing

13:52

, because there's a high possibility

13:55

that somehow , somewhere , your

13:57

brain is telling you that the person you're doing

13:59

this for will find out , and then you'll

14:01

have a chance at their approval . You

14:03

can do something for others from your

14:05

own genuine willingness to do it

14:07

. And I'm not going to say much more about

14:09

this one , because this requires for you to have

14:12

a genuine curiosity about your intentions

14:14

. Ask yourself open-ended questions

14:16

how is it possible that I'm

14:18

doing this for the other person's happiness

14:20

? And just remind yourself , their

14:22

happiness is not your responsibility

14:24

. You might want to choose to do what

14:27

you're doing regardless of how the other

14:29

person perceives it . The

14:31

seventh one is underplaying your

14:33

sacrifices , because you will have a tendency

14:35

to downplay the importance of your own free

14:38

time and hobbies , believing

14:40

that putting others first is what you should be

14:42

prioritizing . This is a very

14:44

subtle neglect of your own priorities

14:46

and it is very harmful to your long-term

14:49

relationship with yourself , because then you're

14:51

conditioning yourself to thinking that what you

14:53

need and want does not matter , what

14:56

you think is not important and

14:58

what you value only comes after

15:00

what other people want from you . If

15:02

you're engaging in a cover-up like this

15:04

, then you will be consistently putting

15:07

aside your interests and hobbies to

15:09

cater to the needs and demands of others

15:11

. You'll cancel your own plans and then

15:13

consider that sacrifice trivial or

15:15

even necessary . In the

15:17

meanwhile , you'll have a lingering sense of

15:20

loss or missing out on activities

15:22

that you otherwise love , but your conscious

15:24

mind will continue to work on convincing you

15:26

that it's normal to always put others

15:29

first . So , to be

15:31

able to cure from this cover-up , you just

15:33

have to understand that the repeated sacrifice

15:35

might be a pattern of people-pleasing behavior

15:37

and there's no compulsion for you

15:40

to view them as a part of your never-ending

15:42

duties and responsibilities . So

15:45

, for example , let's just say you want to

15:47

prioritize communal prayer because

15:49

you have a sense of unity and you perform

15:51

much better in your prayers , with body

15:53

doubling , which is a phenomena that

15:55

helps people perform at tasks

15:57

, knowing that other people are also concentrating

16:00

on a task . So if this level of

16:02

participation in a gathering helps

16:04

you elevate your prayers , but you're

16:06

constantly asked to stay behind because

16:09

now you have a new baby and

16:11

what will the masjid aunties think if the

16:13

baby cries in the middle of the prayer Then

16:15

call out this level of self-sacrifice

16:17

for what it is . You are prioritizing

16:20

other people's comfort over your own desire

16:22

of praying in jama'at and congregation . At

16:25

least call it out . You don't

16:27

have to undermine your sacrifice , because

16:29

that way you will only be harming yourself

16:31

, which in turn spills over to being

16:33

harmful in relationship with others . Be harming

16:35

yourself , which in turn spills over to being harmful in relationship with others . Or another

16:37

idea is that you can choose to go to the mosque and stay

16:39

in the kids section , or have

16:42

a dialogue with the aunties that have a problem

16:44

with screaming children at the masjid . I

16:46

mean , you should see me having these dialogues

16:48

. It's definitely a sight to see . Or

16:57

the opposite could be true for you . Maybe you come into a family after the marriage that prioritized

16:59

going to the mosque and they like praying in congregation , while you've always been used to praying

17:01

alone . If you're making that level

17:03

of sacrifice , then at least just admit

17:05

to yourself that you're doing it . You

17:08

don't always have to sugarcoat it , because

17:10

if you're always hiding from it and

17:13

time comes that you actually want to change it , then

17:15

you'll have no way left to recognize this

17:17

behavior , because you've buried it so far

17:19

deep in your subconscious that you don't even

17:22

know you're doing it and it exists . You

17:24

don't even recognize that you're sacrificing

17:26

anymore . I mean , if you're

17:28

going to sacrifice , then acknowledge it and

17:31

ask for blessings in return . Insha'allah

17:34

, allah SWT accepts all of your sacrifices

17:37

and gives you uncountable blessings

17:39

and hasanats in return . Don't

17:42

just engage in self-sacrifice , because

17:44

that is the acceptable culture . You

17:46

can do it by choice . That gives

17:49

you more authority and empowerment over your

17:51

own life . The next one

17:53

is confusing self-worth with other

17:55

people's happiness , and this is a very

17:57

common one , because nobody ever

17:59

taught us that our feelings come

18:02

from our thoughts and other people's

18:04

feelings come from their thoughts . So

18:06

we grow up wasting a massive amount of time

18:08

and energy trying to make other people

18:10

happy when we have no control

18:12

over their feelings , and on top of

18:14

that , we associate our worthiness

18:16

to their level of happiness . Again

18:19

a very gentle but strong reminder

18:21

that your worthiness as a human

18:23

being is always a hundred percent

18:25

and it is always intact . That's

18:28

how Allah created every

18:30

soul . So if you are a woman who rests

18:33

her sense of self-worth on how

18:35

many of other people's expectations you

18:37

can meet , then you will go to great lengths

18:39

to people please , and this will come at the cost

18:41

of your own well-being . The cure here

18:43

lies with untethering the grip

18:45

that meeting expectations has

18:48

on your value . These two are

18:50

completely independent variables with

18:52

no connection and relationship with each other

18:54

whatsoever . Your value is completely

18:57

independent of meeting other people's expectations

19:00

. Independent variables with no

19:02

connection and relationship with each other whatsoever . Your value is completely

19:04

independent of meeting other people's expectations

19:06

. Memorize it , and I have done a whole podcast on this before . In

19:08

regards to value and worth , allah

19:12

will value you more if you choose to serve other people compared to if you're a person

19:14

who chooses to ignore other people's rights over you . So you can choose to

19:16

serve , but that does not add to your inherent

19:19

worth . You cannot rely solely on

19:21

meeting other people's expectations , because

19:23

that's always a moving target . What

19:26

you need to rely on is your capacity

19:28

to serve others , with your own internal

19:31

gauge of how much and how little you

19:33

can do . If someone's demanding

19:35

a service from you that exceeds your current ability

19:38

and they're manipulating religious beliefs

19:40

as a form of coercion , where they enforce

19:43

the belief that you have to do it and you have no other

19:45

choice , this constitutes a spiritual

19:47

abuse . The next one

19:49

, number nine , is claiming that it's just

19:52

a part of your personality . You can't

19:54

do anything about it . That's just how you've

19:56

always been . You've always been accommodating

19:58

, you've always been agreeable . Rather

20:00

than admitting that learning to change

20:03

these behaviors patterns is hard work , in

20:05

this case , you just want to start by knowing that

20:07

people-pleasing is a learned behavior

20:09

. It is a coping mechanism and

20:12

, just like that , it can be unlearned if you put

20:14

a little bit of effort into it . It

20:16

is not defined by your genes . It

20:18

is not intrinsically programmed

20:20

into you at birth . If

20:22

you over-identify as somebody who

20:24

is naturally accommodating and non-confrontational

20:27

and you get along with anybody , there's

20:30

a very large possibility that you're doing

20:32

it to cover up your people-pleasing tendencies

20:34

. Learning the courage

20:36

to balance between assertiveness

20:38

, maintaining your own rights as

20:41

well as complying with a request

20:43

is a life skill . It's fine

20:45

if you don't want to learn it . It's fine

20:47

if you find it too hard to learn it , which

20:50

it's actually not . I will even

20:52

accept that you haven't found the correct resources

20:54

to unlearn it , even though you have

20:56

this podcast right in front of you . But

20:58

what I will not accept is that it's just

21:00

how you are like . You're describing

21:03

a fact to me . While there are

21:05

some genetic basis to personality

21:07

traits , people pleasing

21:09

to the extent of self-harm is

21:11

a learned behavior and you

21:13

can unlearn it . So with that

21:16

, I will invite you to come to coaching in the Empowered

21:18

Muslim Woman program , because that's

21:20

where all of this magic happens . So

21:23

the next one is the last one , and this

21:25

is more of a treatment rather than a cover-up

21:27

, and that is insisting that you don't

21:29

have control and autonomy over your choice

21:31

. If you're making decisions that

21:34

are a direct result of avoiding conflict

21:36

and avoiding trying to make other people

21:38

uncomfortable , maybe you're choosing

21:41

that . Maybe you're choosing

21:43

people-pleasing to keep yourself safe

21:45

because you don't want to start a conflict

21:47

, and this is a very good survival

21:49

mechanism . I've had to rely

21:51

on that multiple times and

21:53

nobody here is shaming that tactic

21:55

Again . Allah SWT created

21:58

everything with a purpose and the purpose

22:00

of this survival mechanism is to ensure

22:03

safety when you can't use

22:05

power or strength to subdue the

22:07

offender . This totally works

22:09

at your advantage . But don't insist

22:12

that you don't have a choice Because

22:14

you don't have the resources to survive , that If

22:17

you're making decisions and choices

22:19

that are the least controversial

22:21

and will avoid conflict , then

22:23

just allow yourself to make that choice . Give

22:26

yourself that space . I'm not

22:28

taking that decision-making capacity from

22:30

you , and many times that will

22:32

be the right choice to make . You don't always

22:35

have to exercise uniqueness . You don't

22:37

have to stand out , especially if

22:39

you're trying to avoid attention for safety . You

22:41

can make a conscious choice of putting

22:43

other people's requests before yours because

22:46

you have a fear of upsetting them and

22:48

you have a fear of physical , emotional

22:50

or spiritual harm . That is a

22:52

completely acceptable safety mechanism

22:55

, but just acknowledge that

22:57

to yourself , because that comes from such

22:59

a more empowered place than

23:01

never learning that you have a choice in the matter

23:03

. You don't want to be making this choice

23:05

because of your fear of not living

23:08

up to cultural expectations and

23:10

you don't want to be that woman who sticks out like

23:12

a sore thumb when everyone expects a Muslim

23:14

woman to be self-sacrificing . If

23:17

you're people pleasing for your own safety

23:19

, which you are the judge of , then

23:21

make peace with it , but choose it consciously

23:24

From that place . You can choose

23:26

to change it because that gives

23:28

you strength . You can identify people

23:30

, areas that are harming you and

23:32

you can learn to lean in to change

23:34

where it's helping you and going to help you grow

23:36

strength . Okay , so

23:39

that about wraps up my topic for today

23:41

, and I think I know I've given you guys

23:43

a lot of information and if something

23:45

clicks , please come back and listen to it again

23:47

, because this podcast will

23:49

have a different impact on you when you're learning

23:51

it for the first time compared to

23:53

if you're learning it for the next time to

23:56

create change for yourself . So come

23:58

back to it as many times as you need and

24:00

, inshallah , you will start to see a difference in your

24:02

otherwise hidden people-pleasing tendencies

24:04

. With that , I pray to Allah

24:06

, subhanahu wa ta'ala , the most merciful

24:08

and compassionate . O Allah , help

24:11

us find the balance between kindness to

24:13

others and care for ourselves . Help

24:15

us prioritize our deen over

24:17

our base desires . Ya Allah

24:19

, give us the strength to set boundaries

24:22

and protect time , energy

24:24

and my heart , while I remain

24:26

compassionate and considerate to those

24:28

around me . O Allah , allow me

24:30

this path so I can use my resources

24:33

to serve without burnout . Pray

24:35

in my worship with the most sincere

24:37

intention , o Allah

24:39

, help us all heal from our traumas

24:42

, replace our people-pleasing behavior

24:44

with trust in your plan and

24:46

respect for our own worth . Ameen

24:49

, ya Rabbul Alameen , please keep me in

24:51

your du'as . I will talk to you guys next

24:53

time .