In this episode, we discuss ways to approach communicating your needs and desires with a partner and we also examine our still forming thoughts about balancing feminine and masculine energies through introspection, ownership and self-awareness.

Ep 18 Examining Ambivalence

Jun 15th, 2021 30m 14s

In this episode, we record a live Q&A from inside a TAT Lab session. We discuss how self work can sometimes feel like 2 steps forward and 1 step back, and how when ambivalence shows up in ourselves and in relationships we need to examine and ac

Ep 17 Fantasizing About Others

May 11th, 2021 31m 39s

In this episode, we discuss how fantasy and jealousy can present themselves in relationships and where the line between healthy and not healthy can be drawn for both.Please rate and review if you feel like this is valuable and want to help us h

Ep 17 Fantasizing About Others

May 11th, 2021 31m 39s

Ep 16 Letters to Our Exes

Apr 27th, 2021 32m 42s

In this episode, we share letters that we’ve written to our partners of the past. We discuss the lessons gathered from those relationships, how they’ve transcended over time, and how they show up in our partnership today.Please rate and review

Ep 15 Equality in Partnerships

Apr 13th, 2021 37m 42s

In this episode, we share some exciting news about a new project that we’re working on together and what it’s bringing up for us. We discuss how there tends to be power differentials in relationships and how we can cultivate a dynamic where we’

Ep 14 Answering Your Questions

Apr 6th, 2021 25m 51s

In the first of a new series within the podcast, we answer questions submitted by the listeners. We talk through and sometimes disagree on questions around how to not be the toxic one in a relationship, how you can make a relationship with an A

Ep 13 Needs Are a Two-Way Street

Mar 29th, 2021 25m 45s

An extra hard day of parenting can test your relationship in many ways, especially in terms of having your needs met. Getting your needs met isn’t just about asking for them. Your partner should move toward you as well, especially if you have d

Ep 12 Our Top 3 Relationship Killers

Mar 22nd, 2021 29m 22s

Each of us goes over what we think our top 3 relationship killers are. We discuss how they show up, how we can be more aware of them, and how we can work to ensure they don’t show up in our relationships or how to work on them if they do.Please

Ep 11 Two Types of Desire

Mar 11th, 2021 39m 9s

Sexual Desire. It’s a topic that is always coming up, for us and our clients. How much sex is enough? How come I always want it and they don’t? What’s wrong with me / with them? We break down the two distinct types of desire and why understandi

Ep 10 Love and Money

Feb 22nd, 2021 36m 11s

Money is one of those topics that can make or break a relationship. We discuss how our upbringings and our personal beliefs about money shape us individually but also as a partnership.Please rate and review if you feel like this is valuable and

Ep 9 The Relationship Dance

Feb 8th, 2021 34m 36s

So many relationship dances, so little time: Avoidant/Anxious, Overfunctioner/Underfunctioner, CODA/Compulsive, Enabler/Enabled. We dive into how we are always trying to become more aware when the cycles start and old patterns take over, and ho

Ep 8 Rewiring Through Love

Jan 25th, 2021 32m 26s

We get into the importance of feeling an experience or a change in your habits, behaviors or needs in your body - having a full system experience - in order for you to eventually rewire your brain and make the change stick. We also talk about s

Ep 7 Our Love Lessons

Jan 11th, 2021 35m 33s

In this episode we each go through 3 love lessons we’ve learned on our journeys. Some learned through past love experiences and some new lessons learned with each other. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ep 6 Reflections 2020

Dec 28th, 2020 36m 39s

This episode is part review of all the crazy things that happened this year, part learnings that came from those experiences, and part excitement for what’s to come. Thank you for being on this journey with us so far, and here’s to 2021! Hosted

Ep 5 Finding Beauty in the Contrast

Dec 14th, 2020 44m 41s

In this episode, we talk about the double edged sword that is our contrasting personalities. The things we love about each other are also the same things that can activate the shit out of us. How do we continue to remind ourselves that our diff

Ep 4 How Our Stars Line Up

Dec 7th, 2020 53m 58s

In this episode we take a look at our star charts and how they both align as well as conflict. We know, we know, but trust us you can actually learn so much from doing a deep dive into this stuff. We talk through how our inner emotional worlds

Ep 3 How Our Codependency Shows Up

Nov 30th, 2020 35m 56s

We take a different approach in this episode with a deep dive into codependency and how it affects our relationship. In working through her own codependency, as well as with clients who almost all struggle in some way or another, Vanessa has ma

Ep 2 The Whale Under the Water

Nov 23rd, 2020 47m 20s

In this episode, John and Vanessa explore what’s happening underneath their relationship. John not feeling desired, Vanessa not feeling good enough, and patterns they were not aware of. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informatio

Ep 1 The Three Year Itch

Nov 16th, 2020 35m 44s

Welcome to It’s Not Me, It’s You - the podcast. In this episode, Vanessa and John explore the evolution of their relationship, love languages, how flirting differently can mean we miss each other, and John’s avoidance of his 3 year relationship

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