1:21

All right, y'all. So if you've

1:23

been tracking on the podcast, you know

1:26

that almost every episode I

1:28

say, I am late

1:31

turning in the recording

1:33

to my so amazing team, and

1:35

I always give them a shout out because

1:37

they are super awesome and I'm so grateful for them.

1:40

And I have to tell you that

1:42

today. Tonight is the latest I have

1:44

ever been with turning in an

1:46

episode. I

1:48

just like talking about this because

1:51

it's part of the podcasting journey. I think

1:53

that so many people want to

1:55

be. Um, podcast

1:57

host, podcast speakers have their own

1:59

podcasts, and they're

2:02

hesitating. They're waiting, they're

2:04

trying to figure it out. And I just

2:06

find, and I was one of those people by the way. So

2:09

I'm just tickled every week that I do

2:11

this podcast, and I'm also tickled

2:14

and entertained when I let you guys

2:16

know what's going on in the behind the scenes,

2:19

because I'll tell you now, I was completely

2:21

feeling this Mercury retrograde that's coming

2:23

in, and I just couldn't,

2:26

I, I'll be honest, I could not figure out

2:28

what I wanted to talk about. And I have notebooks

2:31

and post-it notes, and I even

2:34

batch like an Airtable. I've

2:36

batched, like, oh my God, can I even count

2:39

how many different topics

2:41

and things I could talk about? They're already tagged.

2:43

They already have the different, you know, categories

2:46

and things and notes, and none

2:48

of it resonated. So I was like, all right,

2:51

I'm just not gonna push it. Is this gonna be the

2:53

second week and the whole

2:55

time of this podcast, since I, got into

2:57

season three that I skip a week, but

3:01

no, here I am. I know what we're

3:03

talking about today. I'm excited. I'm

3:05

feeling the flow. And

3:07

today, tonight really? 'cause it's

3:09

like 9 45 at night. it's

3:12

Ziggy's birthday y'all. So happy

3:14

birthday, Ziggy. He is

3:16

curled up. Sleeping right

3:18

next to me has no idea that five

3:20

years ago he was born

3:22

and two months after that he came into my life.

3:26

If you follow me on Instagram, you get glimpses

3:28

of Ziggy. He is

3:30

the best dog baby I could ever

3:32

have, and I've had other, another dog before

3:35

him. But Ziggy is my heart

3:37

and I'm so grateful for him. So if

3:39

you're listening to this, send a little love towards

3:42

Ziggy Wish him

3:44

a happy birthday and many more

3:46

years of being in my life

3:48

and in this world being my little companion

3:51

fur baby. I love you puppy. Let's

3:54

get into this episode, how

3:57

to never waste your time or

4:00

efforts again. So

4:02

I was out walking, Ziggy, and

4:04

this idea popped

4:06

into my head and the reason why it

4:08

came through is some of you guys don't

4:11

know, but I'm part of a mastermind right now

4:13

as a participant, and

4:15

this mastermind is really, really helping

4:17

me to evolve

4:20

the expression of my business at

4:22

the next level that I'm moving into. I've

4:24

been working on this for a while. I've been purging,

4:26

clearing out, updating.

4:29

Evolving. And I wanted to step into

4:31

a container with, um, other like-minded,

4:34

you know, high performing leader

4:37

women, who are spiritual, who are

4:39

grounded, who are change makers, disruptors.

4:42

And we're in our

4:44

third week. And let me tell you something, whew.

4:47

I mean, it's really doing something. It's really doing something

4:49

for me. So I was thinking about that

4:52

and part of the, the program has me

4:54

going through all of my testimonials,

4:56

like. Notes, testimonials,

4:59

recordings, and just taking

5:02

the work that I already had been doing as far as

5:04

looking at my entire body of work and

5:07

looking at the themes, what resonates,

5:09

what no longer resonates, what am I releasing?

5:11

What goes in the vault? What gets deleted? What

5:13

gets just stored away, you know? And

5:16

I was coming across these themes that

5:18

so many of you who've worked with me,

5:20

or even those who haven't yet have

5:22

talked about in your consultations, in your notes, in

5:24

your. You know, little messages with me, and that

5:27

is this feeling of that

5:29

you're wasting your time. Whether

5:31

you wasted your time in launching

5:33

a business and

5:36

it didn't go the way that you want it to, and you feel like

5:38

your efforts were. Futile

5:40

and in vain whether you feel like you

5:42

wa wasted your time in a relationship

5:44

because it didn't work out, or you guys are part of ways

5:47

you've wasted your time in

5:49

certain friendships, you've wasted

5:52

your time building something that you didn't want.

5:54

You feel like you've wasted your time, in a career.

5:57

You were there longer than you needed to. Like, there's so many

5:59

ways that we women. Particularly

6:03

feel that we wasted our time, but in

6:05

the context of how so many of you come to me,

6:07

you feel like you wasted your time either

6:10

around an investment or

6:12

business or a relationship. and

6:14

I just wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about that

6:16

because as you guys know,

6:18

we just wrapped up the launch period

6:21

for, and I'm doing like bunny ears because.

6:24

The launch really was a soft

6:26

launch. Like one of my themes for 2023

6:29

was to launch everything softly. I'm just

6:31

gonna talk about it. I'm gonna talk about it. When I feel

6:33

like it, when it's time

6:35

to stop talking about it, we just stop talking

6:38

about, you know, or in the past

6:40

I would really launch and be like, okay, it's gonna be 10

6:42

days of this and two days of this and this

6:44

and the, and like it was like a whole strategy this

6:46

year, less strategy, more just being in,

6:48

in flow. And so I

6:50

was looking at how. We

6:53

were in launch for the retreat, the Elevating

6:55

Woman Retreat, which we are heading

6:57

out on. I'm, I'm heading out in just a few

6:59

days to be on

7:01

the lands, bless the lands, open up

7:03

the portals of this retreat before the

7:05

ladies even get to Mexico.

7:08

so I was just looking at the, the launch process and

7:10

I was like, oh my God, we

7:13

still had spots that did not get filled. You

7:15

know, and I know that

7:18

if any of my. Clients

7:20

were to see the back end of this launch for

7:22

this retreat, you would've felt like it

7:24

was a fail. Like you wasted your time, right?

7:27

Because you didn't fill all the spots and

7:30

it didn't look the way that you thought it would be. You know?

7:32

And I had moments of that. I had moments of being

7:34

like, Fuck, this

7:37

retreat is a long time coming. I

7:39

really had to tell God and the universe

7:42

and the spirits that be, and all the participants that

7:44

we are doing this, we feel called.

7:47

I'm double invested in

7:49

this retreat for myself

7:51

and who I'm birthing in my own

7:53

body and my own existence and my own identity,

7:55

and also to, by doing

7:57

so, I'm able to help birth and hold

7:59

space for you as you step into your next

8:02

elevation. So I'm double invested.

8:04

So for there to be some spots that weren't filled, of course

8:07

there was a moment of disappointment and

8:09

like, Hey, could I have done something differently?

8:11

You know, and there's nothing wrong with that, that's

8:14

rightful to feel the emotions. It's

8:16

less than the outcome I desired, and

8:18

I believe it happened for a reason. I'm

8:21

still holding faith that something magical

8:23

is gonna happen on this retreat. A lot of things

8:25

are gonna happen that are magical on the retreat. and

8:27

that. it's the way it was supposed to be.

8:29

You know, because I did everything I was supposed

8:32

to do, then I definitely be the woman I was supposed

8:34

to be. Right? This is what I wanna say, during

8:36

this launch, you know, I talked about it

8:39

when I felt called. The graphics

8:41

were beautiful. I really enjoyed them. I loved

8:43

the storytelling. I loved, you

8:45

know, reflecting over so many women

8:47

that I've been in retreat with, and I guided

8:49

and supported and illuminated things for

8:51

them that it was an effortless

8:54

launch. It truly was. And

8:56

we have some amazing women who are coming on

8:58

this retreat, including support

9:01

and participants, right? And so

9:03

I was like, God, there's so many people who. Because

9:07

financially and also in participation,

9:09

like the numbers weren't there. You would think that this is

9:11

a fail or that you wasted your time. But

9:13

for me, I am like, this

9:16

is full of gold. The entire experience

9:18

is just overflowing with wisdom,

9:21

like support, love,

9:24

blessings, amazement, like

9:27

favor, like creativity,

9:30

like there was no moment in this process.

9:33

That was a waste of my time or my

9:35

efforts at all, like at all.

9:37

Right. And I know some of you're

9:40

like, well, some people are coming

9:42

to it, so of course it wasn't a waste. Like maybe you've

9:44

had a launch or you've done something and put a lot

9:46

of effort and you got zero response,

9:48

right? No one signed up. No one came.

9:51

And I hear you. I have been there.

9:53

I have put on workshops and recorded

9:55

them as if there were 10 people on the line and there was no

9:57

one but me and my dog. You know what I mean? So,

10:00

in fact, I wanna say right before the pandemic

10:02

I ran a retreat. I did,

10:04

I promoted, I launched a retreat, I should say,

10:06

and it was supposed to be filled with around

10:09

the similar numbers. I like to do retreats anywhere between

10:12

eight to 15 people, you know, but

10:14

like eight to 12 was really the sweet spot, um,

10:16

and only one person purchased it. And so she ended up

10:18

having a v i P retreat, you know, down

10:21

in Miami and it was amazing. So

10:23

I know what it's like where nothing.

10:26

You know, no one comes. And I know what it's like to

10:28

get less than what you desired and you expected,

10:30

right? And so

10:32

today's episode is dedicated

10:34

to you never feeling

10:36

like you wasted your time, never

10:38

feeling like you wasted your efforts, ever, ever, ever,

10:41

ever, ever, ever again. And the reason

10:43

why that's so important is

10:45

not just because I want you to feel better, like

10:47

I do want you to feel better. I want you to see

10:50

that. It no effort is

10:52

in vain. Everything that you do,

10:54

everything that you say, every energy

10:56

you put out there is coming back to you.

10:59

You are sowing the seeds into

11:01

ripe and fertile grounds out in this world.

11:04

and it's gonna come back to you and you are ripe and fertile

11:06

grounds to receive it back. Right? So

11:08

that's number one. We're gonna weave in this energy

11:11

of reciprocity and flow and

11:13

circuitry, into

11:16

your mind and in your spirit. So,

11:18

you know, That you're not wasting your time.

11:20

Like no one wants to feel that way. And

11:22

that's important because when you do feel

11:25

that way, you're stepping into

11:27

the energy of lack and scarcity and doubt.

11:29

And that's always gonna leave you

11:32

feeling less than and

11:34

empty and depleted

11:36

and taken advantage of. Or, you

11:39

know, like in victim hood

11:41

and in defeated mode. because that's the

11:43

energy you're cultivating. Right, and so we don't

11:45

want to do that. We don't want to lead with an energy

11:47

that we don't want to be experiencing

11:49

because if you expect, one of my mentors

11:52

says, if you expect to be disappointed

11:54

and then you get disappointed, why would you be disappointed?

11:58

Because you expect disappointment, so you got

12:00

exactly what you were expecting. You should

12:02

be happy, right? So

12:06

arguably we can say, well,

12:08

if the outcome isn't what you wanted

12:11

it to be, then there was some part of you that

12:13

did not want it. And I'll tell you right

12:15

now, there's a little bit of that

12:17

in me when it came to this retreat, simply

12:20

because I'm. Tiptoeing out of

12:22

hibernation, right? And

12:24

I was like, if this retreat were really, really

12:26

full, and for some reason

12:28

someone had like a huge breakthrough, like, what

12:31

if I couldn't hold it? You know, like, what if,

12:33

which again, in my 10

12:35

years of doing this work, that's never happened. in

12:38

person or electronically. So

12:40

that's just crazy talk. But there was

12:42

a little part of me with that energetically, because it's

12:44

been such a big year with getting engaged

12:46

with moving with different health

12:48

things. Like there's been so many things that's happened.

12:50

So I do believe there was a slither.

12:53

I. Of that going on with me energetically

12:56

that was maybe felt in the universe

12:58

in the transmission of

13:01

this retreat. You know, so that

13:03

the transmission, the call for you to sign

13:05

up maybe was not as clear. And I'll take responsibility

13:07

for that. And there's nothing wrong with it. Right. I've

13:11

already gotten into examples. I'm just kind of like mumbling

13:13

and going through here. So hopefully you're riding

13:16

this wave with me. But

13:18

it's so important to not feel like you wasted your

13:20

time, simply because if you feel

13:22

that way, then you are not going to

13:24

uncover the medicine,

13:26

the gold, and the lesson that you

13:29

need. All right. Your time

13:31

is literally only wasted if you fail

13:33

to find the medicine, if you fail

13:35

to find the gold, if you fail to find

13:38

the power and the freedom

13:40

in the lesson of this experience,

13:42

and this is some of the stuff that we worked on in

13:45

much, much like great, great detail

13:47

inside a presence in the process. Because

13:49

when you're very present in a launch or you're

13:51

very present in why a

13:53

relationship is going the way that it's going, or

13:56

you're, you know, whatever is going the

13:58

way that it's not the way you want it to go. You'll

14:01

be able to not just analyze

14:03

it with your mind, but you will sense it with your

14:05

body and with your spirit. What is off

14:07

and why it happened for you,

14:10

not to you, right? The

14:12

kicker is the medicine,

14:15

the gold, the power, the freedom,

14:17

whatever you're supposed to learn here and gain.

14:20

It's not even about anything

14:22

other than you. A lot

14:24

of times when we start looking

14:26

at the silver lining, or this

14:29

is the lesson or here's the,

14:31

um, you know, what is it the bright side

14:33

or the, you know, gimme the silver lining,

14:35

gimme the glass half full. Let me just find,

14:38

like, be optimistic about it and find

14:40

one good thing. We often look at things

14:42

outside of ourselves. You know,

14:45

we start looking at, you know, what

14:47

did I learn about the world? What did that teach

14:49

me about my clients? What did that mean about

14:51

the kind of man that I want, or the kind of man I'm calling

14:53

in, or the kind of relationship I wanna be in? What

14:56

does that mean about my offers?

14:58

What does that mean about my company?

15:00

Right? We just start looking all these external

15:02

things and also how we're gonna respond

15:05

to those external things. So we're literally

15:07

starting to make new stories or

15:09

affirm old stories and narratives.

15:12

That more than likely connect to your ancestral trauma

15:14

and wounds and limiting patterns that

15:17

created this whole experience that isn't

15:19

turning out the way that you want it to be. Anyway, we're

15:21

already like reinforcing

15:23

or creating new limiting beliefs in

15:26

that moment. the win here,

15:28

the way that you never waste your time and the way

15:31

that you truly win and break through and

15:33

level up, is for you to be looking

15:35

at what the medicine is,

15:37

what the gold is about you. Like,

15:40

what is the lesson you get to learn about

15:42

you when

15:45

you do that? You have never,

15:47

not for one second wasted

15:50

your time. In fact, you, you actually

15:52

invested in your future. You might

15:54

not have the outcome that you really

15:56

want right now, but if you metabolize

15:59

the lesson in this experience and

16:01

you really milk it for everything that it

16:03

had to give you, and you start

16:05

applying that and testing it and appreciating

16:08

it and being like, this is the best experience ever.

16:10

Look at what I'm learning, Wil at what I realized about

16:13

myself. You are

16:15

now. Alchemizing the situation.

16:17

Getting empowered in the situation, growing

16:19

in this situation, transforming your identity

16:21

in the situation, stepping into your power and your

16:24

ability at next level capacity

16:26

at next level in the situation. And those

16:28

are all the seeds that's

16:30

gonna allow you to bring fruit of what

16:32

you really want in the future. And

16:34

that future might be next season,

16:36

next month, next week, next launch, next

16:39

date. Right. So

16:42

this is not about the guy.

16:44

It is not about the world. It's not about clients.

16:46

It's not about culture. It is about you.

16:49

You are the only person that

16:51

can ever make your experiences

16:54

and your time spent and your

16:56

efforts given valuable

16:58

and mean something. We

17:00

are the only people who can do that. We

17:02

validate ourselves like, sure, I can receive

17:04

validation from someone else. And don't get me wrong, I've

17:07

definitely had family members, team

17:09

members be like, oh my God, this is amazing Ash. Like

17:11

I'm so glad. Even though we didn't get those final bookings,

17:13

like it was such a great experience and

17:15

I'm so proud of you. We've got people who did

17:17

book in who keep sending me messages being like, I can't

17:20

wait to see be in person. It's been years

17:22

we've never been in person. This is so exciting. Like all

17:24

of that is very validating, but I had to sit

17:26

with myself and say, where was my energy?

17:29

What did I learn about myself? What would

17:31

I do different? Where did I let myself down?

17:34

Where did I also go above and beyond and

17:36

shock myself? Where am I proud

17:38

at? What would I, you know, like you gotta sit down

17:40

and sit with yourself and

17:43

get that information out of you. And

17:46

also ask yourself like what

17:48

old ancestral inner

17:51

child, Resistant

17:53

teenage, immature

17:56

dams in distress, whatever little archetypes

17:59

and, aspects of yourself are sabotaging

18:02

and playing out, but like sit with them

18:04

and uncover the core

18:06

thing that blocked the outcome that

18:09

you wanted. That's also here to build you up,

18:11

to show you to reveal, right? I

18:16

know we as smart women who've

18:18

already accomplished so much, and I'm talking

18:20

about myself obviously, but also to you. We

18:23

tend to be stellar experts

18:25

at analyzing all these situations

18:27

outside of us and beyond us, but

18:29

we don't ever look at, I'm

18:32

gonna ask you, when was the last time you looked at

18:35

and did a deep dive into how you co-created

18:38

a less than ideal situation and owned

18:41

that you co-created it? I

18:43

know that I co-created the underlying

18:46

energetics of this retreat launch by

18:48

not being a hundred percent sure I could, I

18:50

could do it because what you guys don't

18:52

know is the Elevating Women's Retreat

18:54

was originally scheduled for January.

18:57

Right. And it was from primarily

18:59

with the women, who were in last year's cohort

19:02

of. Elevate Mastermind and

19:04

because I was ill, I was sick and

19:06

I could not function under doctor's orders.

19:09

I could not do a lot of things. There's

19:11

so much that happened in my body at the beginning of this year.

19:14

Um, we had to postpone it. So

19:16

when we postponed it and I

19:18

finally got doctor's clearance to travel

19:20

and to move and to be myself, I was like, can

19:22

I energetically hold it like I

19:24

know. From a skillset perspective,

19:26

from a leadership perspective, from a desire

19:29

to serve and like loving all these women

19:31

who are interested in working with me, that's

19:33

a hell yes. But physically, energetically,

19:36

like in my physiology, can I

19:38

do this? And that wobbly

19:41

energy of like testing, like I would get

19:43

stronger and I would feel really good. But

19:45

I do see different things when

19:47

it comes to my energetics. And this is like the most I've talked

19:49

about, you know, the changes in my body.

19:52

Maybe I need to do a whole podcast episode on it, but.

19:55

I really had to watch week

19:57

by week, like what is my capacity

20:00

here from a physical perspective.

20:03

And, and I truly believe that's the reason

20:05

why the numbers are exactly what they need to be,

20:07

right? We're so excited. It's like completely perfect,

20:10

and I was able to have additional support

20:12

come in to support me and the ladies,

20:15

which is such a treat, like such a treat. So,

20:18

I say all that to say. Nothing

20:20

is ever wasted. And there's moments where,

20:23

again, I've had failed launches

20:25

and I felt like I wasted my time. I

20:27

had to go back. Similar as I was just describing,

20:30

of like, what were the energetics,

20:32

that were going on underneath? Underneath, underneath.

20:35

I've had moments, and I'm sure you have too,

20:38

in a relationship, in a dating

20:40

ship, in a situation ship, maybe even in a marriage,

20:43

I've been there too, right? Where you're like,

20:45

I wasted my time. I shouldn't have been in that

20:47

relationship as long. When I

20:49

look back at my exes, I'm like, oh my God,

20:51

I learned so much about myself. They taught me

20:53

so much. Like bless those men. Those

20:56

men helped me become a better woman, and

20:58

I know I, for damn sure helped them

21:00

become better men, but

21:02

I, for real, helped them become I, they helped

21:04

me become a better woman in like the

21:06

most amazing way. And if I had

21:08

not been with them in the situation

21:11

that we co-created together. The

21:13

woman that I am now would not have been birthed. I

21:15

would not have illuminated, or like these,

21:18

these various issues in my life,

21:20

right? Would not have been illuminated. The

21:22

opportunities to break patterns around

21:24

marriage and trust and sensuality

21:26

and submission and open, and again,

21:29

trust with men would not

21:31

have been brought right to my feet for me

21:33

to deal with. Right. Um,

21:36

the other day, some of you guys know

21:39

I am working on a new venture,

21:41

and so I've gone through. Now

21:44

this is my third property that I'm looking at

21:46

on commercial real estate. And

21:48

um, the first property I was like, this is it. Hands

21:50

down, done. It's gonna be easy, peasy, quick,

21:52

fast. That's how everything works in my life. Eh,

21:55

wrong, it

21:57

was not the right fit. And how they dealt

21:59

with the business was just like, not cool.

22:01

Right. And so in that moment I

22:03

was like, gosh, I wasted my time. Like we went back and forth,

22:06

we had all these like letters of agreements and lois

22:08

and contracts and negotiations and calls

22:10

and emails. What the fuck? They could

22:12

have just been really clear from the beginning what they really wanted

22:15

and what they were a yes for and what they were a no for the

22:17

second, um, location, they

22:19

were just like non-responsive.

22:22

I'm like, what's going on here? This

22:24

third location feels like it might be the

22:26

right spot, you know? And again,

22:28

if I were not. So connected

22:31

in my desire to create this experience.

22:34

Boom. There goes a little piece of wisdom right

22:36

there. I

22:38

would've given up. I would've been like, maybe I'm not ready

22:40

for this. You know, maybe this is too much.

22:43

I'm new to this place, you know, no one knows

22:45

me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Story, story, story. Lies.

22:47

Lies, lies. Right? Instead,

22:50

I'm like, nothing is wasted, because every

22:52

single one of those interactions is

22:54

starting to embed me into the local

22:56

community, into the local entrepreneurship

22:59

journey, into the local businesses,

23:01

how they do business here. What are the politics,

23:03

what are the, who's the shakers and the makers,

23:06

you know? Everything is stacking

23:08

up. Every effort is a hundred percent

23:11

serving me, and it's showing me

23:13

how I need to show up physically

23:16

when I'm in real life. That's completely different

23:18

than having an online brand and business, right?

23:22

I've had moments in the past where I was like, oh my God,

23:24

I wasted so much money hiring that

23:27

person, going on this thing, joining this

23:29

program, like thousands

23:31

and thousands and thousands, like not even thousands.

23:34

Tens of thousands, and

23:36

if I added up everything I've ever invested

23:38

in, like since 2014,

23:41

over hundreds of thousands of dollars,

23:43

okay. And I've been like, oh my God, that

23:46

whole event was a waste of my time. I hated it.

23:48

But that was, that was not true. If

23:50

I sat down, which I have done this and

23:53

looked at what I actually gained. It

23:57

was amazing. It taught me again about

23:59

myself, and I've seen this one like not so

24:01

great scenarios I've

24:03

seen where like I had a mentor, um,

24:05

when I was really, really just getting into ancestral

24:08

healing that did so much harm. I

24:10

also had to see it was in a, it was the perfect

24:12

situation to show me one, how I stood

24:14

up for myself and I believed in myself and I trust

24:17

my heart and I did not conform

24:19

just to fit into. Basically a cult

24:22

group, right? Right. I did

24:24

not do that. And I was ostracized and kicked

24:26

out as a result. Right? So

24:28

being able to see that I had that power inside

24:31

of myself to stay with myself when

24:33

everybody else did not, and they turned

24:35

against me, which later on, they all came

24:37

and were like, oh my God, I should have left and you left. But whatever.

24:40

that showed me about my character.

24:42

It gave me more con it hurt, and I cried

24:44

a lot. Oh, I cried so much. Talk about some.

24:46

Sisterhood hurt, like that

24:49

was very painful, but it

24:51

helped me trust my character,

24:53

growing my character, stand in my character, right?

24:56

And at the end of the day, it showed me the ways

24:58

in which I gave my power away to mentorship

25:01

that I should not have. I. Right.

25:03

And learning how to be a good student and

25:05

leader at the same damn time. So

25:08

those were initiations and

25:10

rites of passage and, um,

25:13

growth journeys that helped me level

25:15

up bit by bit and all these different

25:17

areas, right? I'll never

25:19

forget this came up Forgive

25:21

me if this episode is just rambly.

25:23

'cause I just feel like I'm hopping all over the place really quickly,

25:25

but like, just stick with me here. I gotta tell

25:27

you a story and then we're gonna wrap up. I

25:30

had hired a coach and it was my first time hiring

25:32

a one-to-one private coach at

25:34

a premium cost monthly. It was like a six

25:36

month contract. And, I

25:38

remember once I was really

25:41

going through a tough time in my business. I think

25:43

we were scaling to like our, the first multi-six

25:45

figures and I

25:48

just showed up being a bitch.

25:50

I was just angry. I was irritated.

25:52

I was acting very entitled, but it

25:54

was from a place of like, I'm hurting

25:56

and I need some support. I don't

25:58

wanna be, I don't wanna answer questions. I

26:01

need reprieve. I need someone to. Help

26:03

me make decisions like help me

26:05

stabilize myself. My nervous system was fucked.

26:07

It was terrible. And I remember

26:10

once I broke down and really opened

26:12

up my heart and I was incredibly vulnerable, and

26:14

I started crying and I was like, I'm so sorry.

26:16

I'm just really having a hard time right now. I

26:18

feel like I'm being a bitch to you and I'm wasting your time,

26:21

is what I told her. And she immediately

26:23

stopped me and she said, first off, you're

26:25

not being a bitch to me. You're being a bitch to yourself.

26:27

Second, you're not wasting my

26:29

time. You have to choose if you're wasting

26:32

your time. And I was like,

26:34

shit. Like it's the way she

26:36

cut me off and just cleaned that up so

26:38

quickly and stood me in attention for

26:40

me to decide how I was gonna

26:42

use my own energy. And that call was

26:45

monumental. Like my tears

26:47

instantly dried up. I stopped sniffling and

26:50

snotting all over the place and I was like, holy

26:52

shit. Yeah. What

26:54

the fuck am I doing right now? You know? And

26:56

I realized when I sat with her

26:58

calling me out and kind of directing the energy

27:00

back to me and not absorbing it herself,

27:04

she was like, you know, I'm

27:06

learning so much from you, and yes, I'm gonna

27:08

write about this. I mean, you won't know when I write about

27:10

it, but you're not the only client who's

27:12

shown up this way. This is content. This is

27:14

what I help people do. This is what I help people move

27:16

through. So you're never gonna waste my time because

27:18

I'm doing my job, number one. So I'm not even

27:20

gonna give you that power. Incredible

27:23

active leadership and, and you

27:25

know, exemplifying that. And then

27:27

she was like, too, you're just being mean to yourself

27:29

and you're just expressing that in front of me,

27:31

like I'm not absorbed. You know what I mean? And so it was just so

27:33

beautiful to see her show

27:36

me that this was about me.

27:39

Why do I feel like I'm wasting my time? Why do

27:41

I feel like I'm being a bitch? How do I wanna show up?

27:43

How do I wanna make the most of this time? Because either

27:45

way, she's gonna win. She's already paid. She's

27:47

already invested in me and herself and

27:50

she's gonna take this and use it to teach,

27:52

use it to guide other people, use

27:54

it to keep helping me, so on and so forth.

27:56

Right. So, that's really funny 'cause

27:58

I haven't thought about that session in like a

28:01

long time. I think that was 2020. 2020

28:03

or 2021. Either

28:05

way. just a really good example of

28:07

like calling, just like she called

28:10

me in, but she did it by

28:13

holding herself. Right.

28:15

Holding herself in the moment and being

28:17

able to be like, no, no, there is gold

28:19

here. Whether you wanna pick it up or not. 'cause I'm

28:21

aware of it. So

28:24

with that in mind, I wanna ask you,

28:28

where in your life do you feel like

28:30

you are wasting your time or your efforts?

28:32

And how can you look for.

28:35

The gold and the medicine that

28:37

is going to pour into you and

28:39

make you a better woman, a more

28:41

creative woman, a more open woman,

28:44

a more magnetic woman, and a woman

28:46

full of her power, her freedom.

28:48

And love. And also we say

28:51

abundance. All right, that's your homework.

28:53

Hope you dive into there and find some gold.

28:56

The lesson is always in the

28:58

experience, and I would love

29:00

to hear your responses to this particular

29:02

episode. We're keeping it nice and light this

29:05

week. as you guys know, I'm

29:07

running into the retreat, so wish

29:09

us well. If you have us in your mind, if

29:11

you wish you were with us, send us

29:13

some prayers and lots of love as we

29:15

step into this journey. I am. So

29:17

delighted, and I'm so proud of every single one

29:19

of us who said yes, and

29:21

if this was not your time, we look

29:23

forward to you being on the next Elevating Woman

29:26

Retreat or any of the other in-person

29:28

events I've got coming up. I'm

29:31

also documenting my journey into owning

29:33

a brick and mortar business

29:35

on Instagram. It is part of my new

29:37

subscription. So if you wanna come along

29:39

on this journey with me, ask me questions,

29:42

learn from me as I am learning how to

29:44

do this. 'cause I have never created

29:46

a brick and mortar business that I own

29:48

in the United States. I have run brick

29:50

and mortar businesses outside of the country.

29:53

I have consulted with brick and mortar businesses

29:55

in this country. I have never created

29:57

one from scratch, for myself, and

30:00

I'm taking us through every step of the journey

30:02

on the Instagram subscription. That

30:04

is the trains going by. I

30:06

live right by, I mean, I'm in a historic

30:09

city that's all about railroads. So you guys are gonna

30:11

be hearing that until I move from this

30:13

place. But, so if you're interested

30:15

in going on this journey and learning

30:17

about this particular business, which I'm revealing

30:20

in the Instagram subscription, um, come

30:22

on over, subscribe. I would love to have you.

30:25

You're gonna have access to all

30:27

types of private q and a. I'm just thinking of

30:29

this as like those of us who are interested in business

30:31

and we wanna do it. You know, from a space

30:34

of magic and power and healing

30:36

and generational freedom and wealth,

30:38

and from a woman perspective, a balanced

30:41

creation. feminine and

30:43

masculine balanced woman perspective. All

30:45

the words, right? Come on over, check

30:47

it out. I think it's gonna be so much fun and I'm

30:49

having a lot of fun with it. In fact,

30:51

I have a story that happened today

30:54

that is so good, like so

30:56

good, so good. Come

30:58

on over and check me out. And also,

31:01

as we're leaning into the Mercury retrograde

31:03

that is kicking off this week, it is a

31:05

very, very wonky week. I know

31:07

we're all refining different aspects

31:09

of our lives. We're still in the Venus retrograde.

31:12

We're looking at our relationships. We're taking stock,

31:15

we're looking for the insights. It's a perfect

31:17

time to look at how you

31:19

can glean power.

31:22

Out of the time and efforts that you are

31:24

giving in whatever area of life you

31:26

wanna see different. All right? Again,

31:29

if you don't do that work, you're bound to repeat

31:32

the patterns again and again. You're bound to feel

31:34

like you're siphoning your

31:36

energy out, that you're doing all of these things

31:38

and not getting the reward, and that's just not

31:40

true. So I want you to go and find the evidence

31:43

and I wanna hear how you, um,

31:45

apply that medicine in your life because

31:48

as I've been saying, We always

31:50

birth what we believe. All

31:53

right. I'm sending you lots of love wherever you are. Thank

31:55

you so much for joining me this week. Whatever

31:57

you do, do it with lots of courage, lots

31:59

of compassion, and I'll see you guys again

32:02

next week.