Jaack, Stevie and Alfie are debating some festive themed 'would you rather' dilemmas, given specially to us by Father Rizzmas himself (who, if you couldn't guess already by his name, is a bit of a lad...)

Would you rather never have sex again, or have a normal sex life only if you do a little cum down the chimney once a year? 

Would you rather make a sex-tape with Michael Bublé that gets played on national telly, or have a video of you wanking shown to your whole family? 

Would you rather do heroin on Christmas Day right before dinner, or insult your in-law's cooking to their face?

There's also breast milk laced cheesecake, kicking kids, gatecrashing celebs, and a story about the time Fiona's dad walked in on Jaack doing something unspeakable... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices