0:02

Jason Lauren! This is

0:04

the Jason Lauren podcast. Well,

0:06

good morning everybody and welcome to

0:09

your Monday. Oh, good morning. She's a

0:11

wet old Monday out there. Few puddles

0:14

around Lauren. Few puddles. You okay, Jason?

0:16

What's happened? I'm a little rattled. What's

0:18

rattled you? There's plenty of

0:20

reasons to be rattled. I'm perfectly

0:23

fine. I feel great. What's happened? They've changed

0:25

the microphone over. Obviously they didn't know we're

0:28

on for one more week. And

0:32

it looks like I'm recording a Christmas album. What

0:35

have you got for us, Mariah? Well, we did ask.

0:37

They said it's a shock absorber. We

0:40

had that last week. Yeah,

0:45

let's see how the mic would have held up then. I hope

0:49

everyone had a nice little weekend. Somewhat. This

0:51

will lessen the shock. Hey,

0:56

listen. Sorry, guys. It's

0:59

our last five days. I know. It

1:01

doesn't mean the wheels are off

1:03

though. They're pretty wobbly. I

1:06

went to a wedding on a Sunday yesterday. Oh yeah,

1:08

that's a lot. And you know what sums up Lauren

1:10

Phillips this morning? When you're in the newsroom,

1:12

she goes, guys, we're

1:15

getting McDonald's for breakfast. Oh yeah, I'm getting a hash brown. Sunday

1:18

wedding. And then I had to call Clint. I

1:20

left Paul there. He never made it home from

1:22

the wedding because it was a destination. And so

1:24

I called Clint and said, can you pick me

1:27

up and drive me to work this morning? What

1:29

time the wedding wrap up and where were you?

1:32

In the Yarra Valley. Oh. It

1:35

was like 11 o'clock and I had a car

1:37

there. P.M. P.M. Well,

1:41

it wasn't a breakfast

1:43

wedding. I'd prefer a

1:45

breakfast wedding. Jason, how would you like your eggs?

1:48

Then 11. P.M. I had a car there at about 10.45 to take me

1:51

home. Yeah, right. And in that situation, do

1:56

you chat to the driver? Yeah, we

1:58

know him. We use him a little bit. But

2:01

no I didn't chat to him. But as

2:03

I was leaving a few people said oh could you

2:05

drop me back to where I'm saying to

2:07

the accommodation. I was like yeah sure, piling. You're like a

2:09

shuttle. I had a van so we could fit seven people.

2:12

See this is what I was saying the other day we just got

2:14

rid of the seven seater so that way you can't be picking up

2:16

other people's kids. Yeah but the accommodation was in

2:18

the other direction for my house. What have I told you if

2:20

you're getting picked up at a wedding make

2:22

it a scooter that way you can't take any other

2:24

gifts. You have to be selfish in that situation. Yeah

2:27

well I wasn't. Sorry there's no room in the side

2:29

cup on the motorbike. If I drop them all home

2:31

or to wherever they were staying. That was late when

2:33

I got home. Anyway

2:35

good story. Here we are. Here we are. And

2:37

we're settling up for a big week. Our last

2:39

week. Our last five days together and then I'm

2:41

never gonna see either of you two. Ever again

2:43

hopefully. Speaking of weddings. Oh we've been

2:46

best friends for 20 years. Speaking

2:51

of weddings I went to a made of mines house

2:53

in Stonath on Saturday night. To his

2:55

house or to his wedding? To his house. Yeah.

2:57

They've got the wedding coming up this weekend. And

3:00

he said hey come around for some drinks. Come around around

3:02

seven. I've got there at 10 past seven. I've opened

3:04

the door and walked in. I'd crash

3:06

the wedding rehearsal. So it's

3:08

everybody there like a huge bridal

3:11

party. But how mean that he was like I've got all

3:13

of the bridal party coming over which you're not

3:15

included in but come anyway. And it was very much like. We

3:17

the only one that wasn't in the bridal party. Everyone involved in the

3:19

bridal party on the left side of the room. Chase can you just

3:21

stand on the right side. Did they give you a job?

3:24

Did they ask you to be the usher or something? Well I

3:26

offered to be the celebrant. Oh yeah. They

3:28

declined. I think you have to. You can't just

3:30

pay the celebrant. Not a great way to kick

3:32

off a marriage. You also

3:34

actually got to be a celebrant. Can we just

3:36

fast forward at the case? You can't just do it.

3:38

You need to do all the practice training. Yeah it's a

3:41

lot of paperwork. There's a lot of paperwork. You're

3:43

a celebrant aren't you? I've started completing the modules

3:45

and then I got to maybe three or four

3:47

and I gave it up. Too harsh. There's a

3:49

lot of work involved. Did

3:51

you celebrate at the wedding yesterday? It was quite loose. She

3:54

was so a bit wild. Was she? Yeah you got to do

3:56

like. To get your license. You got to

3:58

do fake weddings and films. fake funeral. Really?

4:00

Well, because if you're a wedding celebrant,

4:02

you're also a funeral celebrant as well.

4:05

What do you mean? Like, preferential? Yeah,

4:07

you've got to like, invite your friends

4:09

over. Pantomous. Video it. Exactly. Really? And,

4:11

you know. Send it in. Have a

4:13

fake funeral. What's on the Earth? I

4:15

know. Have your friends over and do

4:17

a fake funeral. You do? You seriously

4:19

do? No. No, you don't.

4:21

You lie in the coffin. You have to.

4:25

You have to do. A fake wedding at a fake funeral and

4:27

you have to video it. Shut up, guess. Send

4:30

it in as an assignment. But surely

4:32

you don't invite people over. You do?

4:34

You're doing great. Shh. You're dead. You're

4:36

playing the dead first. There's no way

4:39

they tell you to have a fake funeral. I'm

4:41

telling you. If I'm coming over for a fake wedding, I

4:43

want a fake bloody reception as well. I want an open

4:45

bath. You're in the casket. That's bizarre. I'll tell you what

4:47

bizarre is. The person in the office watching those

4:50

back and giving approval. The fake funeral. The people didn't look sad enough. Alright,

4:52

well, let's go. We're

4:59

wrapping this thing up. You get the audience

5:01

didn't look sad enough. I think maybe you need to ham

5:03

it up a bit. The Jason

5:05

Lauren podcast. Hey guys. Yeah.

5:07

Something emerged yesterday at work on the

5:10

weekend today show that I need to

5:12

broach with both of you, but particularly

5:14

you, Jay. Are we in trouble? You're

5:16

not in trouble, but it was an

5:18

incredible revelation. What was wrong with my

5:20

pants? Just the other way in the

5:22

camel trousers. Yeah. And when I clicked

5:24

on the telly, it

5:26

looked like he wasn't wearing pants. Yeah. That's

5:28

high. Their skin

5:30

color. It wasn't my wardrobe. So

5:32

Lauren, you get this. Jase

5:35

has this penchant for eating

5:38

ice. Doesn't

5:41

he? He does. He crunches on ice

5:43

cubes. It drives us

5:45

crazy. Why do you do it? I

5:48

run hot. Okay. I

5:50

overheat. I don't think

5:52

that's it. Yeah, it is. Could you

5:54

do it in winter? Yeah. But is it like a, do you get some sort of? I

5:58

feel clean in the mouth. Yeah.

6:00

And I just... Because you just...

6:03

Every day, for our listeners who might not

6:05

be aware, every day, Jase will order from

6:08

the little shop downstairs a plastic cup of ice

6:10

and it's full of ice, right? With no beverage

6:12

in it. Just ice and he... And he spits

6:14

it out and... Yeah, he swirls it. He chumps

6:16

it and... And

6:19

then spits it back into the cup like a

6:21

penguin regurgitating the fish that they've caught for their

6:23

babies. He does that, spits it out and then

6:25

goes again. Call me a doctor. But

6:28

I think I've found the reason

6:30

why. It came courtesy of

6:32

a real doctor, Dr. Michael Bonning, who

6:35

made this revelation when I was interviewing

6:37

him yesterday. Just one more

6:39

before we go, doctor. Iron deficiency, the

6:41

issue of. It's relatively common issue. What

6:43

are the common signs or symptoms? So

6:46

we see lots of people with iron

6:48

deficiency really important, but things like unusual

6:51

food cravings as well, especially like chewing on

6:53

ice is a really common one. Lots

6:56

of libido as well. And

6:58

getting breathless or puffed out by things that

7:00

used to be really easy for you to

7:02

do. So climbing a flight of stairs, walking

7:05

up the hill, doing the laundry or the

7:07

chores around the house. All of those things

7:09

are common symptoms that most people don't recognise.

7:12

Oh my God, we just thought you were unfit. I'm

7:14

going to need a steak for breakfast. Get the

7:16

man a steak and lay off the treadmill

7:18

dude. It's just... As

7:21

soon as he... Dr. Michael Bonning was saying,

7:23

all I could see was Jace. It's

7:26

all I could see. So hang on, it makes

7:28

you unfit. It makes you chew ice. And what

7:30

was the other one? Oh no, libido. That's you.

7:33

What do you see? The only

7:35

thing getting up is me and the lift. I

7:37

don't take the stairs. Well

7:39

you don't get up at any time of change.

7:42

Oh my God, we're going to need to get a steak in here. What

7:44

I found more shocking about that is

7:47

how professional you sound on the telly compared

7:49

to here on the radio. You're

7:53

listening to the Jason Lauren Podcast. Alright,

8:04

it is our final week of tradie

8:06

trivia representing the tradies this week. I

8:08

hope they get five from five the

8:10

tradies. It's Nathan the Chippy from

8:12

Gizmon. Morning Nathan. Morning guys,

8:14

how are you? Yeah, we're doing well mate, doing well.

8:17

That's good. Christmas at your place this year, are you

8:19

hosting? Where are you headed? Yeah,

8:21

we're hosting. We've actually got a big family Christmas

8:24

here in the past five to six years. Oh

8:27

no. Everyone's just on the bike,

8:29

all coming out by the back. Oh that's cool.

8:32

Good one, Nate. Alright. This

8:34

morning you're playing against Mark who's a cleaner from

8:36

Berwick. Morning Mark. Good morning, how

8:38

are you doing? Good, big fan of the casino it says

8:40

here. Yeah, as of late,

8:43

I haven't been a big fan, I've lost a bit of money.

8:46

Oh, gamble responsibly. Win

8:48

some, lose more. That's what my kid tells me when I

8:50

was teaching him 21. Alright, here

8:52

we go. So this is

8:54

how sports bed works. Alright guys, name's

8:56

your buzzer. It's a game of probability. Question

8:59

one. We're playing with little chocolate nuts on the

9:01

weekend and he cleared me out and

9:04

he just looks at me and he goes,

9:06

win some, you lose more dad. Oh the ad.

9:08

And then he just grabbed the chocolates and walked away and I'm like, okay.

9:10

Is that a hudie? Yep. Sounds

9:12

like a hudie. Here we go. Question one, what is

9:14

the capital of Australia? Mark. Nathan.

9:17

Mark. Mark was in.

9:19

Camera. That's it, she's on the board. Silly.

9:22

Like what's

9:24

there? Corn and fireworks. You

9:27

know? In Canberra. Yeah. Pretty

9:29

good start. Then you get the pollies. Why

9:32

they love fireworks in Canberra. Yeah. What?

9:35

Yeah. Why? I

9:37

think they can get on the green now too. Yeah, they can. In

9:39

Canberra? Yeah. Of all

9:42

places. She's legal. Alright, question two. What

9:44

colour wine is Cabernet Sauvignon? Nathan.

9:46

Nathan. Nathan. White.

9:49

No. No. A cab sav.

9:52

Yeah. Mark. Good

9:54

job, Matt. I would

9:57

have loved if you said Rosie then. Alright. Alright,

10:01

mark on two, Nathan yet to school. What

10:05

annual shopping discount day was last week?

10:07

Nathan. Nathan. Black

10:09

Friday. Yeah. It actually

10:11

goes for about 13 weeks. I was almost expecting him to say

10:14

boxing day. Go on

10:16

Nathan, need the next one. A chapstick

10:19

is usually used on which part

10:21

of the body? Nathan. Lips. That's

10:24

it. We've got ourselves a tiebreaker.

10:27

Love a chapstick. You do. I

10:29

remember that movie, Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah. I've seen it.

10:32

There's your chapstick. No one remembers that? No. I

10:35

love that movie. Okay,

10:38

first person to do an impression of

10:41

Harry Potter gets a point. Mark!

10:44

Mark! My

10:46

name is Harry Potter Mark. I

10:49

think we're good. We're

10:54

just going to need a little bit more. Yeah go Mark.

10:56

I am getting you. Okay, give a tell. You

10:59

got it. The point's yours. You can see the

11:01

tree there. Wow. That's funny. That was

11:03

a great impression. You had Nathan just doing it.

11:05

Hey Mark, smoke on us today mate. Congrats. Enjoy

11:08

lunch. Thank you. No worries. My

11:10

gosh. I loved that. What was

11:12

the chapstick? You were a great guy. I love that.

11:15

I love that. I love that. I love

11:17

that. I love that. I love that.

11:21

I love that. I love that. I

11:23

love that. I love that. What

11:25

was the chapstick thing again? No

11:28

Dave, we'll replay that after 8 this morning. I

11:32

love Napoleon Dunmore. He was always looking for

11:34

chapstick. Oh she really thought you meant it. You're

11:38

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. I

11:41

was at Robbie Williams. It was also pouring there. You

11:43

got wet there? It was actually fun getting soaking

11:46

wet at a concert. I've never like stood

11:48

in the rain and sung and danced like that. That was great. Sharon

11:50

who's working the phones this week, you got wet at Christina?

11:54

I didn't. All my friends were drowned rats but

11:56

I had a raincoat. Oh well. Poncho

11:59

or raincoat? coat. Paddington Bear

12:01

sort of number. I saw it from my husband.

12:03

Yeah well done. I find a coat gets wetter

12:05

than a poncho. So do I. Like it's just

12:07

a bit heavier and a bit... It got cold.

12:09

Yeah. Oh I had done it a day on

12:11

the grain it got cold anyway. You can throw

12:13

out the poncho. Exactly. Plus it's clear so people

12:15

can still see your outfit. Exactly. That's right. You

12:17

can slip a sort of bevo underneath and bring

12:19

it out. Yep. Put it back in. Yeah. You

12:21

don't even need to put your arms through it.

12:23

You can just sit under there. Oh

12:26

my god. What a design. The poncho. I love

12:28

it. It's clear so you can see your outfit

12:31

underneath. You know what? I think we should wear

12:33

a few on a nice day. I wore a

12:35

poncho with you at the football ones clean. Yes.

12:37

I had it on backwards. You did. They're very

12:39

awkward aren't they? The hood gets slappy up and

12:42

down. I'll bring my face. Well you're putting it

12:44

on my spider man. I couldn't. I was hiding

12:46

my head in the arm hole and I had my arm out

12:48

the head hole and I was very confused. And it wasn't

12:50

even raining. That was just eating get rosé on your

12:52

clothes. Hey

12:55

speaking of getting wet did

12:57

you hear about producer Jizz, one of

12:59

our team members? He went along to

13:01

the loom the other week to watch

13:04

the Formula One. Hey that looked great.

13:07

Tell them what happened in the bathroom. Pretty

13:10

unfortunate but as I was

13:12

finished with the urinal. Can

13:15

you tell Sharon to just put that person on

13:17

hold. Sorry Dolph. Do it on a radio show. Anyway.

13:24

The urinal just had quite an aggressive

13:26

flush. It

13:30

was a real surprise. And

13:32

as it went on me and flushed

13:34

I got quite a big splash back

13:36

all over. Oh no. White pants. White

13:38

pants. I call bullshit. I

13:42

reckon there was splash back. Oh

13:44

you think the fire hose has come out so quickly. When

13:46

you guys go to the urinal. Yeah

13:50

come on come on come on. It's going to

13:52

be an important question I know. Do

13:55

you take your pants down? Well

13:57

he's no. Like is your bum

13:59

hanging out? No. Are you pants around your ankles?

14:02

To be who you are. I would say

14:04

no. Because not all pants have zippers just

14:06

to like get you... I would say...

14:09

And how do you get it out of your undies? You

14:12

don't get the pants. Well hang on, two

14:14

questions. Yeah, not necessarily very complex. Okay, firstly

14:16

to question one about the pants around the

14:18

ankles. Like you guys are all lined up at that thing with your pants

14:21

on the floor? No, no, no. When you kids you do. Yeah.

14:24

Like I'd say young kids do. Yeah. And

14:26

then you gotta watch the dribble because that's gonna get on the

14:28

pants. And then as for getting

14:31

it out. Do you

14:33

wanna take this? We just roll back the

14:35

undies. But

14:37

now some undies... What do you mean? No,

14:39

they've got a hole don't they? Yeah, some undies have a hole. Some have

14:41

a hole. But I don't use the hole. I don't use the peephole

14:43

on it. So what do you do rolling to the side? Oh, I've

14:45

seen people do that. I go that down. I go that down. No,

14:48

no, no. Just down. Just down. Yeah, just down.

14:50

But what I'm saying in regards to... It's a

14:52

bit of a flawed design really. Some people go

14:54

out the side. Do you know what? Out

14:57

the side. Yeah. I'm

14:59

not wearing wire fronts. Not like shorts. Look, it's

15:01

a really strange system, isn't it? Really? And

15:04

does everyone have their own style? Yeah. Oh,

15:07

you're a side. You're a side person. But

15:10

what I'm saying about jazz is that

15:12

on the rare occasion, you can get

15:14

splash back from there. What

15:16

if you are firing with such veracity? It's

15:18

the poor thought and that's right. And

15:20

it splashes back on you? Sometimes. Also,

15:23

what you don't wanna do is get a urinal

15:25

that's a bit clogged and there's a swimming pool

15:27

now. Oh, nah. That's gonna come

15:29

back here. You know what I mean, don't you? Men

15:31

are so disgusting. You are so disgusting. Or a small person's

15:33

urinal. Yeah, oh yeah. No, you've told me about this before.

15:35

The airport works like you're playing limbo. What

15:38

are we talking about? How did his pants get wet? I think once

15:40

I went to New York. Oh, you know what I mean? I'm not

15:42

gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not

15:44

gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

15:47

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna

15:49

lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not

15:51

gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. We've

16:00

got a random question this morning. 13106

16:04

thrive. How did you get wet?

16:08

Whether it was a pushback from

16:10

a urinal. Splashback. Splashback, that's

16:12

the one. Splashback from a urinal. Maybe

16:15

Christina Aguilera, you're at the concert there. Oh,

16:17

there's many options for how you could get wet. Set

16:19

off the fire alarms at work and the sprinkler system.

16:22

How does that work with the sprinkler system? Should we

16:24

try it? Maybe Friday.

16:26

Does it only go off when there's

16:28

flames? Smoke. No,

16:31

smoke doesn't set off like the

16:33

sprinkler. No, no pressure because if

16:35

you hit that thing it'll go

16:37

off. So what, the flame sets

16:40

it off? There's

16:42

a lot of them in this tiny little studio, isn't there?

16:45

13106 V is our number. I

16:47

love stories where tradies are stuffed up

16:49

on a job site and set off a sprinkler or

16:51

something like that as well. How'd you

16:53

get wet? How'd

16:56

you get wet? I know it's

16:58

a random one. It's very random but it's

17:01

happened to the best of us. 13106 V

17:03

is our number. Let's go to

17:05

Greg. Good day Greg. Morning Greg. Good

17:07

day guys, how are you going? Excellent. Now last

17:10

week, otherwise known as our crazy run out sale.

17:12

So welcome to the show. Very sorry to hear

17:14

that. Oh no, thank you. Can

17:17

he work up? No, no, no, what's your story? How'd you

17:19

get wet? I was

17:21

working at a three level computer lab in

17:24

a university and I was adjusting the,

17:26

I had to adjust the ceiling tile and

17:29

I tapped the sprinkler and it

17:31

exploded. On

17:33

all three levels? All three levels

17:35

were evacuated, the water dripped. I

17:38

put the tool bag out to catch the water.

17:41

It comes out about a thousand litres a minute.

17:43

There was no way I was stopping that water.

17:46

A thousand litres a minute. They're hectic, those

17:48

fire things. So I went

17:50

down the back fire stairs, everyone else

17:52

went down the front student stairs and

17:55

I had to walk past everyone. I was the only one that

17:57

was dripping wet. Oh Greg. Did

18:00

you have to pay a fine or anything? Did anyone know who

18:02

did it? And then Greg was just standing there absolutely

18:05

saturated. I was in good

18:07

with the building manager, and he said it was one of

18:09

his guys. Oh,

18:12

that's good. He told you, you just need to

18:14

tap that thing, and we're out of here. I

18:17

didn't know that much pours out. Oh my gosh,

18:19

yeah, it is hectic. Oh, yeah, there's one right

18:21

above my head, isn't there? Just give it a

18:23

go. Don't tempt me.

18:26

A double day. Don't tempt me. A

18:29

triple day. Today's not

18:31

the day the filter's

18:33

not exactly working. 13,

18:35

1, 065. How'd you get wet,

18:37

Melbourne? When'd

18:40

you get wet? That's a

18:42

good question. When'd you get wet, Melbourne? Big

18:44

J, Ocean Grove, morning. Hello

18:48

and lovely to speak to you again, and unfortunately probably

18:50

for the last time. Bye, guys. Aw,

18:53

it might be for the last time, Big J. I'm

18:55

going to miss you. Yeah,

18:57

yeah, yeah, it's a little late on it, but

18:59

if you've got an office admin skills, I've got

19:01

a new job and I need some office staff.

19:03

So, can you tell me? We might be

19:05

able to make some arrangements. Oh, thanks, mate.

19:08

I'll come work for you, Big J. Whereabouts

19:10

is the office located? Also, we should probably

19:12

ask what he does for a living. Yeah, what do you

19:14

do, Big J? Oh, no, at this point, I need to

19:17

put food on the table. There could be a drug

19:19

trafficker, and now you're working doing accounts there, you know

19:22

what I mean? No, well, it used to be a

19:24

contract killer for the government, but I retired, so now

19:26

I'm in the different business. Yeah, right. Well,

19:28

that sounds legit to us. Yeah, I mean, I

19:31

got it done. Big J, how'd you get wet?

19:34

Well, back in year five in Mr.

19:36

Dunwalk, Mr. Swarton's class, I had a

19:38

fine stay, and we had this two

19:41

spotter for a red dye with water. The thing

19:43

was to squeeze it, see if I could push

19:45

the liquid up the tube that they made. Oh,

19:48

yeah. Test the strength sort of

19:50

thing. Yep. And after everyone

19:52

went, you know, I went last, for some

19:54

reason, I always went last. So,

19:57

I had a go. Yeah. I always think

19:59

that hard. me

22:00

Commissioner could you please go and get them?

22:02

It's a $165 fine apparently. And also the

22:05

way you would complain, they'd be like yeah we

22:08

couldn't find them. She deserves it. She

22:10

definitely deserves it. Can we get them to go again? Yeah

22:12

in fact can we do a dramatiser in it? What are

22:14

you available today? You're

22:16

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. I

22:20

went to Robbie Williams on Saturday night, a

22:22

day on the green. It was

22:24

so fun. I love those events. I mean if

22:26

the weather's sparkling you can't get a better day.

22:28

The weather was horrific but it was still an

22:30

amazing day. 25,000 people

22:32

at the winery. It was

22:35

so much fun. So we got a bus down there with a

22:37

crew. There were about I want

22:40

to say maybe 15 or 16 of

22:42

us. Got a little party bus

22:44

down. It was raining. It was drizzling.

22:46

Everyone was in

22:48

good spirits though. It was producer

22:51

Jazz came with me. It was great wasn't it? It wasn't too

22:53

bad at the start of the rain. It was

22:55

a whole lot of fun. I think

22:57

we just embraced the wetness and got

22:59

on with it. Yeah exactly. Embrace the

23:01

wetness and they got on with it.

23:03

Well because they're expecting big electrical storms and then

23:05

they have to cancel it. If there's electricity in the

23:07

air. Did he do them? Party's

23:09

over. Aww did he ever? That

23:11

would have

23:18

been amazing love. I challenge you

23:20

to find a better sing along song than that

23:22

when you're with your mate in

23:24

the rain. We had a fairly

23:27

average week I would say last week

23:29

and it was just good for the soul. I

23:32

was with my best friend, my parents were there,

23:34

my fiance was there. We were singing. You were

23:36

invited. You were in Sydney. Jace

23:39

you did get an invite half fast

23:41

but you got an invite. We'll get

23:43

to that later. Anyway. Was Angel's last?

23:47

Last. He was like

23:49

brothers in arms. I think he came out with

23:51

Let Me Entertain You entity. Yeah right. There

23:54

was a bit of a random one at the very

23:56

start but he quickly went and let me entertain you.

23:58

I'm Robbie F. and William. Let's go.

24:00

It was great. But then everyone's arm

24:03

in arm, the pouring rain, like life

24:05

doesn't get any better than this. And

24:08

then the concert ends. And then

24:10

all of a sudden, there was

24:12

25,000 people in a winery in the

24:14

pouring rain with no Robbie Williams singing and

24:16

mud everywhere. It was

24:18

reminiscent of fire festival

24:20

scenes. People trying to get through the mud, trying

24:23

to get out. My Paul's waving his arm going follow

24:25

me. Because then you've got to find your car. You've

24:27

got to find your bus. You've got

24:29

to find like, it's quite amusing.

24:31

25,000 people

24:34

trying to get out of one gate. It was

24:36

a drama recently at Mount Denaite where people's cars

24:38

were bogged and they could have been there. They

24:40

could have been cars of us as bogged this time.

24:42

So we couldn't find our mini bus to get home.

24:45

So we're in the rain. We've all got raincoats on.

24:47

There's a 16 or something. Do you still have a stash of

24:50

grog? No, there was no very well.

24:52

Even half a bottle? No. Passing it around?

24:54

No. There was none of that. So

24:57

we're like, well let's walk to the

24:59

highway and try and meet the bus there. Because buses

25:01

couldn't get in, buses couldn't get out. An

25:03

hour later, in the rain, we

25:06

get on the bus. We finally

25:09

get our bus. We celebrate. But

25:11

by this stage, we are starving.

25:13

We're beyond saturated. Did you just smell a bit? You

25:16

know how the rain makes you, you know, you quiet? Yeah, damn,

25:18

a little bit. That damn smell. Yeah, musty. Well, smelling

25:20

was the worst of my problems. At least my problems at that

25:22

point. We weren't like saturated, drowned

25:24

rats. So I said, all right, we're

25:26

starving. Let's go and get some food on the way

25:28

home. Let's go to that truck stop and

25:30

we'll all get burgers. The truck stop's great.

25:32

What's the truck stop? You know, like those

25:35

stupid sized service stations that have McDonald's. It's

25:37

got Maccas. There's some that have a KFC

25:39

in there. I think a Porto's gets around.

25:41

Yes, it does. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But McDonald's

25:43

was the only one open. So we pull in and I'm

25:46

like, well, we're in a bus. We can't fit through the

25:48

thing. So I'll go in and order for

25:50

everyone. For everyone. What? So I

25:52

go in and I order like 20 burgers. Oh,

25:54

you didn't ask what anyone wants. No, I'd had it

25:56

all written down on my phone. I was ready to go.

25:58

Went in, did the order on the machine like

26:00

that especially when

26:03

there's that many. Anyway so I put the

26:05

order in and then I go and take

26:07

a seat and I'm looking around and there is

26:09

like the whole of Mount Dunedin is

26:11

at this McDonald's trying to get food. I'm sitting

26:14

there. Were you holding your little docket?

26:16

Yeah. You need to know your number. Soaking

26:19

wet like a rock bottom freezing

26:21

cold soaking wet sitting in this

26:23

McDonald's at a truck stop with

26:26

all these lovely people that kept coming up to

26:28

me going sorry about your job. Sorry

26:30

about your job. Are you

26:32

working in there? I might be working here

26:35

next week guys. There were so many people

26:37

and then once one started people just kept

26:39

patting me on the back, you're really wet aren't

26:41

you? Sorry about your job. I just want this to end.

26:49

Then this really nice man he had no

26:51

shoes on he was saturated, he was covered

26:53

in mud and he said sorry about

26:55

your job and I was like you know what I text was

26:57

I can't do this. I went and

26:59

bought everyone four and twenty pies and we got back on the bus

27:01

and I was like I'm out. You

27:04

didn't wait for the meal? No I couldn't wait any longer. You

27:06

went to the pie warmer? I'd had 50 like

27:09

career counselling sessions by people who were soaking wet

27:11

who'd been at a winery all day that were

27:13

all so lovely but I was like hang on

27:15

so I left. What about the order?

27:18

Guys someone has just called through

27:20

who was actually at Macca's and

27:22

saw you guys. Hello

27:26

Joe. Hello. Joe did

27:28

you see washed up Lawrence Phillips unemployed sitting

27:30

quietly at a McDonald's by herself on the

27:32

weekend? She was sitting next to

27:34

me so yeah soaking wet starving. Joe

27:39

did you see her storm out with pies

27:41

and leave the food behind? I did see her

27:44

stand up and walk off and I just thought

27:46

where's she going? I don't think she's even got

27:48

her order yet and then yeah I

27:51

noticed what happened. What

27:53

happened to the food? Well

27:55

the lady was calling out the number

27:57

and we could see three massive bags.

28:00

in there, we're absolutely starving and we're

28:02

all waiting for our food and yeah

28:04

she just said, look no one's picking

28:06

this up like free food people

28:08

please take it, we're just gonna go

28:11

to waste. I fed the community. Yeah

28:13

you literally fed a community thank you

28:15

Lauren honestly. They gave me out your

28:17

food. Was

28:19

it good? How was my McChicken? I had

28:23

a little cheeseburger thank you. Everyone

28:26

was just so appreciative like honestly

28:28

everyone's had in the baby's room,

28:30

everyone was laughing like so happy

28:32

screaming. There

28:34

you go. We've said them all. We've

28:36

just done that and yeah it was

28:39

really really cool it was really nice but

28:41

yeah we were all soaking. There you

28:44

go I'm so glad everyone got fed because

28:46

it was like it was a long

28:49

wait at that McDonald's with everybody. Did she

28:51

pay you to make

28:54

this social? She

28:56

needs to be saving her money at the moment. I paid

28:58

her in a double cheeseburger. When's your next shift

29:00

at the Maccas? Yeah anyway I'm gonna be

29:03

working there next year so I'll

29:05

make sure I pay it forward again. I'm jealous

29:07

so Robbie would have been in science.

29:09

All together here we go. You're

29:25

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. Hey

29:27

guys are you the Binfluencer?

29:31

Binfluencer? Binfluencer? No well

29:34

you know what we do

29:36

because it's very confusing the bin

29:38

cycle. It is. What goes out when?

29:41

And then you try and Google it and

29:43

it's like. You've got to figure out if

29:45

it's an odds or an even. We're a

29:47

Wednesday morning so out Tuesday night. We're out

29:50

tonight for a Tuesday morning. Except

29:54

if I'm putting the bins out I put all

29:56

of them out every week. Oh

29:58

just in case. And I don't know what. what and

30:00

then I get so sad when I have to

30:02

the next day I'm like oh

30:05

that's so cool. You got a wheel in the heavy bin. Wheel

30:07

in the heavy and it's the yellow bin

30:09

I think that's recycling. That's what it never

30:11

gets picked up. Well it does every second week.

30:14

No I don't think it's. What goes second week

30:16

with you? So every second week with us is

30:18

the recycling bin. What? And

30:20

then the other weeks of the normal bin. Oh

30:22

and we're the other way around.

30:24

And then the green bin is every week. No

30:26

you can't put the recycling out more than the

30:29

normal bin. We're recycling every week. Shut up. Normal

30:31

bin. Normal bin. Every fortnight. Yeah.

30:34

No but what about when you put your. We're under a bit cooked

30:36

day. What about when you put your prawn heads in and

30:38

then it smells? Mate every fortnight. Yeah

30:40

we're the same. Well hang on you said it was the other

30:42

way around. You said the other way. No no no we've got

30:44

a green bin too. Oh your prawn heads are going

30:47

out. Now we've done bin shut on this show before. The prawn goes

30:49

in the green. Well yeah it's a fruit scrap. Isn't that

30:51

for the leaves? No the green ones for the leaves. No

30:53

no no. We're not doing this again. We're not doing

30:55

this again. Hang on your prawn heads go in the

30:57

green bin with the leaves. No they don't. Not in

30:59

the trash with the trash. No they do. Oh

31:01

actually mine's dark green. And then

31:03

light green is the green bin. Food scraps. Yeah. Is

31:05

the green bin in the bin? No hang on then

31:07

what's the red bin? The

31:10

red lid. What have

31:16

I got? I can't have

31:18

four bins can I? Do I have dark green,

31:20

light green, yellow and red? I've got three. We

31:22

can't do this again. I've got three. I've got

31:24

a green green. I'm going to have to look

31:26

at the security cameras on my phone. I've got

31:28

a green, green graph and leaves, rubbish and recycling.

31:32

There's a reddit thread going around about

31:34

the person in your street who has the power

31:37

because everyone follows a neighbour's lead

31:39

for what bins go out. Just checking

31:41

my security cameras. I've got green, red

31:44

and yellow. That seems pretty straightforward.

31:46

Guys I found the audio. This was the last

31:48

time we had bin chat. The food scrap bin

31:51

gets done every week. Yeah same here. Is that

31:53

the normal bin? No no that's the food that's

31:55

the green bin. You got the green,

31:57

the black and the blue. No I've got red and

31:59

yellow. Well the yellows are sharp. No

32:01

yellow. How many syringes do you throw out?

32:03

Well where do the bottles go? Well

32:06

they collect the sharp in every week. Oh my god

32:08

phone lines are lighting up people are ringing. It's what

32:10

colour bins they have. Go to Leah, what's the colour

32:12

of your bins? I live

32:14

in Peershale. Our garden waste is

32:17

the base is like a burgundy and then

32:19

the lead is like a burgundy.

32:21

Burgundy! What? Now

32:23

you can't be having a burgundy bin. Sharon who works

32:25

here on the side. That's the red wine, the burgundy

32:27

bin. Ren wine bottles only. Yeah I wish they collected

32:29

that every week. Sharon

32:32

are you like a full on recycler? Yeah

32:34

so when they used to do the soft plastics recycling

32:37

at Coles I had a dedicated bin in

32:39

my house for soft plastics. Good on you.

32:42

Okay here's what colour was it? What colour was it? I

32:45

just had a white bin inside my house. I

32:47

collect all the soft plastics and then take it

32:49

to Coles. Good on you. Here's one for you.

32:52

Is a bottle soft plastic or like a

32:54

water bottle like this kind of water bottle like a

32:56

Mount Franklin bottle. You start with a lid, the lid

32:59

will go in the bin but the bottle itself can

33:01

go in the back. No no no. Oh

33:03

no someone only told me today. Someone

33:06

only told me today that coffee cups, the lid and

33:08

the cup goes in separate bins. Yeah yeah you can't ditch

33:10

the cup in the bin. What about the meat

33:13

tray? Which fits recyclable? I don't know. The

33:15

lid or the cup? Hang on what about the meat tray? The plastic thing.

33:17

You know the plastic meat tray you get at Coles? Recycling. Well

33:20

hang on you got the plastic lid for it though as well. Yeah

33:22

recycling. No but isn't that foam, that thing that the

33:24

meat comes on? No. Like the

33:26

piece of steak? Yeah some plastic. Oh that funny little

33:28

pillow. The pillow. Oh no not

33:30

the pillow. The pillow. The absorbent pillow. The

33:33

meat pillow. Yeah the meat. No that's so

33:35

gross. It's full of meat juice. Ugh. That

33:38

does not fit. The meat pillow, the

33:40

juicy meat pillow will go in the

33:42

bin. In

33:44

the garbage bin. The meat tray, yeah in the

33:46

garbage bin. The tray itself that holds it, you

33:48

rinse it if you don't want it to smell

33:51

and you put it in the recycling bin. And

33:53

then the film on top, if there's soft plastics

33:55

it goes in soft plastics otherwise it goes in

33:57

soft plastics. Oh my god I'll be here for a day. Ready for prone

33:59

heads. Prawn heads go in

34:01

your compost bin which goes in your green bin every week.

34:04

I don't have a compost bin. No, not at all. I did in

34:06

1988. Are they still a thing?

34:09

I don't compost. I just put them in

34:11

the compost bin. Do you have worms living in it? You

34:14

know they have worms. The people have the bins with the worms. We

34:17

got worms, but they're not in the bins. Absolutely not. I

34:20

live in a basically in a

34:22

retirement village, which means someone always,

34:25

I know when the bins, what bin goes out at

34:27

what day. So you follow up. You don't put them

34:30

out though. I follow the leader. Your

34:32

elderly neighbours put yours out for you. Do

34:34

you have a soft food bin or just

34:36

soft plastic to put the nursing unit in

34:38

there? You're

34:40

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. Good

34:48

morning Melbourne. It is just gone, 20 to

34:50

8. We're on the

34:52

air. Thanks to our mates at Globehead Energy. For the last couple of weeks

34:54

we've been playing hot lips and we do it again. Alright.

34:57

We're good at it. Where Lauren

35:00

puts on noise cancelling headphones. So

35:03

we play music in her ears, which in turn gives us a

35:05

break. And

35:07

she has to read our lips on what

35:09

we are saying. I'm very good at

35:11

lip reading. So never talk about me if you think I can't hear

35:13

because I can tell. Are

35:16

we ready to do this? Yep. Are

35:18

you guys ready to go? Are you ready Lauren? Are you going to cancel

35:20

headphones on please? I was born ready. Of course

35:22

you were. I was born ready. Okay.

35:25

The phone's going on. She's

35:27

hung today. So we've got to... Hang on. She

35:30

hasn't got the headphones on yet. Okay. Okay. What?

35:34

Trade carefully? Yeah. Or

35:36

accelerate? A bit of both. She's surrounded

35:38

by a lot of McDonald's that she's ordered this morning. She is. You

35:41

like McDonald's? Are you really hung today? Big

35:43

girl have a big night at the wedding? Was it worth

35:45

it? Are we ready? What am I

35:47

looking at? After you think? I'm bringing sexy back. I

35:51

live in Sasa for us. No. I'm

36:02

bringing sexy back. I'm

36:05

pretty. So suck

36:07

it. Oh,

36:10

you ready? I'm just going to slow

36:12

down. I'm bringing sexy back. I'm

36:16

princess. What's the

36:18

second? Yeah, you ready? I'm

36:21

bringing sexy back. I'm

36:24

pretty sensible. I'm

36:27

bringing sexy back. I'm bringing

36:29

sexy back. Yeah, you are.

36:32

Yeah. Want

36:36

an afternoon to like. Who

36:39

wants an afternoon to like? Oh,

36:44

afternoon to like. Robbie

36:49

Williams was wet and wild. Robbie

36:53

Williams went to wet and wild. Pretty

36:56

good. Yeah, we'll give you that. Well, half.

36:58

Yeah. Wanna

37:00

spoon me? Nah,

37:05

go again. Wanna spoon

37:07

me. Wanna spoon

37:09

me. No

37:11

crackles. Wanna spoon

37:13

me. What's

37:16

these balls that mix?

37:19

Wanna spoon me. Look,

37:23

it might be a little less off-putting if I do it. Okay.

37:26

Wanna spoon me? Watch

37:30

this. Want

37:32

to spoon me? I

37:35

want to pull me. I

37:38

hope they're not answered to us. Wanna spoon

37:40

me? No, thank you.

37:46

My party bus got stuck in the mud.

37:49

My mum loves to celebrate. Oh, God, you

37:51

know where you were going then. You know what,

37:53

let's start now. In the game.

37:57

We will stop now. We're finishing the game there before

37:59

you reveal the game. I'm too much about your mum. Post

38:04

Malone! That guy's

38:06

a little inside of the Phillips family. What

38:08

did you say? Okay, I'm back on. Nothing.

38:10

You're on Kiss. You're

38:13

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. Um,

38:16

huge weekend. Huge

38:18

weekend. When it comes

38:20

to entertainment, our Robbie Williams day on

38:23

the green, and this lady are playing

38:25

Flemington. Yeah. Christina

38:31

Aguilera. She was like, um, one

38:34

of the like Mickey Mouse clubs with Britney Spears, Justin

38:36

Timberlake. They're all the OG's. That whole generation of singers.

38:40

I didn't realise she had so much in the back catalogue. Oh

38:42

yeah. She's got a few, hasn't she? In

38:44

like the, in the 2004 era. Can

38:47

I be honest? I

38:49

think the carry-on was a, there was a lot of

38:52

carry-on for Christina. What was she, why

38:54

was she a Flemington? It's a big thing. Well

38:57

she was 15 years ago. Yeah. She

39:00

still looks great. Apparently she can still

39:02

keep up. Oh yeah. Yeah.

39:06

Yeah. But people were very

39:08

excited about it. But I think there's

39:10

this whole nostalgic thing happening at the moment

39:12

that like people from when we're

39:14

in our 18's. Eighteen. Eighteen.

39:17

Our teens, um, are like

39:19

coming back. Yeah. Making a

39:21

comeback. This one was huge. No,

39:24

no, no, no. No. No.

39:27

No. No, no. No,

39:29

no, no. And she did Candyman. No, no, no,

39:31

no. Christina Aguilera, remember? No. No.

39:35

Candyman. I don't know if anyone would have found a bad man.

39:37

No, no, no. Sweet Sugar, but no. No. No,

39:40

no, no. No, no, no. My

39:42

Candyman. Remember? It's like I was at

39:44

Flemington then. Yeah. She sounded just like that

39:46

at the store. Yeah, close my eyes. She's a one stop

39:49

guy. She's a brilliant. Sing it. Sing

39:51

it Queen. I'm gonna take her at the after party at

39:53

3am. What about Come On Over Baby? Yeah, play that.

39:55

No, no, no. What did you do that for?

39:58

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

40:00

just don't listen to you. What a girl wants. Ah,

40:02

what a girl. Did you play that one too? Yep. No

40:05

you didn't. You didn't play that one. Can

40:07

you play that one? Are we

40:09

doing a full Molly Melton review on Christina Aguilera's back?

40:11

Basically. There

40:13

was an after party. She was spotted at the

40:15

ESPY until three o'clock in the morning. Three o'clock?

40:18

That's a step. Three AM. After a gig. After

40:21

a gig. Went there and partied on until three AM. Well,

40:23

well... Get it, girl. How old is

40:25

she? Because that's past her bedtime. Ninety-eight? Well,

40:28

while the other rooms were hosting Christmas parties.

40:30

Oh yeah? Christina Aguilera

40:32

had one of the function rooms out at

40:35

the ESPY dedicated to her after party. She's

40:37

only 42. Is she? Yes.

40:40

She's Jace's age. But you know what? It's because

40:42

she started young. She's done so much

40:44

more. She's employed. Winning. Um... You

40:47

could be at Flemington next year. Park and card.

40:53

You'd be our candy man. Imagine

40:55

being at your Christmas party here in Christina Aguilera

40:57

next door belting out. Oh, was she

40:59

singing? Did she... Do you reckon she

41:01

did a show there? Because the ESPY has

41:04

that awesome... The band room there. Oh yeah. Like

41:06

a full stage. Great for life performances. I don't

41:08

know. If you're going to go to the after party and

41:10

put on another show, are you just on the bloody full

41:12

concert? Yeah, you want to hang it up.

41:14

Yeah, I'd be like, you know, this is my time.

41:16

You know what? And I can imagine the DJs being

41:18

like, let's put on a Christina song. Let's see how

41:21

she responds. Get it, Queen. Do

41:24

you reckon she'd be into hearing her own song in a bar or she'd just be like,

41:26

I am out of here? No,

41:28

no. Oh, how awkward would that be as an artist

41:30

if you're in a bar? And your own song came

41:32

on. Oh... I mean, I was in

41:34

an Uber once and this radio show was on repeat and I

41:37

was like, this is hell on earth. That's

41:39

right. I remember PJ, who I used to work with, she

41:41

had her legs apart getting a Brazilian and she started hearing

41:43

her replay of the show. Oh... And

41:46

they were like, that's how I recognize you. Put

41:49

a face to the name. And

41:53

then they said to her, next time we have to book a

41:55

double appointment. Oh... Why,

41:58

so they could talk more? Yeah. Or

42:00

they ran out of time. Yeah, apparently they ran out

42:02

of time. They said because you've left it so long

42:04

between appointments. Big job. Are

42:07

you kidding? They said that to her. They said that to her. No,

42:10

like, look, you spent a long

42:12

time between appointments. Next time you really

42:14

need to book a double. She's

42:16

sitting on the air, so I'm not saying anything. Oh my

42:18

God, you'd never go back. No. Well, that's a problem. Then

42:20

you need to book three appointments when you do. You

42:23

got to be careful with the timing. You're

42:26

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. Well,

42:32

good morning, everybody. And welcome to your Monday.

42:34

Here's an idea. How about running taking off

42:36

the graffiti on the Westgate? How

42:38

about we just get rid of the pylons and finish

42:40

the bloody job? That has been

42:42

dragging on so long. It's taken

42:44

a while, hasn't it? Oh, and there's just no

42:46

sign of it being done. It'll be

42:49

done before the next election. That's for sure. Yeah. Hello.

42:52

What's wrong? What's wrong, Lauren? Well, I

42:54

was just on my Uber app. Yeah. Because I

42:56

went to a wedding yesterday. I'm a little tired

42:58

this morning. And so we ordered some hash browns

43:00

in here and I went in to my

43:02

Uber app. I saw it pop up. Become

43:05

an Uber driver. Oh,

43:07

hello. So I've clicked through trying to get some information. Well,

43:10

because, you know, we get the ask this week. And I think

43:12

I've signed up. I've

43:16

registered Uber or Uber Eats. Or as we say,

43:18

we can't do Uber. No, don't do Uber Eats.

43:20

Imagine how tempting that would be to live in

43:22

the hot ships. I had to choose where I

43:24

wanted to be an Uber driver and Uber Eats driver

43:26

on a motorbike and Uber package driver and Uber Eats driver in

43:28

a car. Uber driver? Good for

43:30

you. So they get a

43:32

load of your driving, you'd be great. But what happened? Go

43:36

to a count. You've got a nice car, so you'd be

43:38

in. Oh, I reckon we're on. Oh, she would be

43:40

a comfort driver. Yeah. And if you get

43:42

her, I reckon you'd go, you know what? Why don't you sit

43:44

in the back and I'll drive? Yeah. Can

43:47

you imagine me? What's your music preference? How's

43:50

the temperature? Should we do it? Do

43:52

you reckon I can do it before Friday? Yeah.

43:54

Do you reckon I could get a shift before the end

43:56

of the show? 100 percent. Let's

43:58

try and get her a shift. How long

44:01

does the process take? Does anybody know?

44:03

Surely it can't take long, can it?

44:06

We'll look into it and we'll try and get you a little bit of a chip before the end

44:08

of the week. You're

44:10

listening to the Jason Lauren Podcast. Top

44:13

5 favourite moments of the show for the last

44:16

couple of years. It was the morning after the

44:18

Logie Awards. Clint was at the

44:20

start of the year announced as host

44:22

of Weekend Today. This was your first

44:24

big Logie Awards, Walk in the Red

44:26

Carpet. Host of Weekend Today show.

44:28

We're very proud of you. And I knew

44:31

you were ready and set for a big night.

44:34

Yes. I did

44:36

make a promise, a solemn vow, that I would be

44:38

there at 6am. But

44:40

you also texted... To Service Melbourne to

44:42

deliver the news. No, well you

44:44

texted us at 5.30 saying I'm not reading the news today. You're

44:47

the news guy. So I'm not sure...

44:50

What else are you going to do? How are we going

44:52

to do that? And you said, oh well I'll give it a whirl. You

44:55

did one news bulletin and then we

44:57

took the responsibility off. So

44:59

producer Jizz was at the Logies as well. He

45:02

was in the food court underneath the

45:04

staff with a microphone and headphones ready.

45:06

Do you remember the moment close

45:09

to 6 o'clock? Where

45:11

was Clint? He was kind of stumbling

45:13

towards me. We had the mic ready, we had

45:15

the headphones ready to go. We were

45:18

just about going to make it to the very start of

45:20

the show. And he dropped the

45:22

headphones, dropped the phone. I'm pretty sure

45:24

the headphones actually broke. We

45:26

could not bring them home. And you missed the 6am

45:28

news. I missed the news as well. But then you

45:30

came out strong in the opener. Take a listen. Hello,

45:33

hello Clint. Clint? Clint's

45:36

down away. Have we got him? Oh

45:38

no, we've got it. Oh my god. This

45:41

is great. Hi, hi, hi. Oh,

45:44

absolute. Absolute dog friend. Hello.

45:47

Oh! Hello! He's alive!

45:51

Oh Clint, how are we? I've broken

45:53

my headphones and I've dropped my phone.

45:55

Do we have a Carl Stephanovic morning

45:57

after the leg? No,

46:00

we're okay, we're okay, we're okay. Because

46:03

we just got done

46:05

up to read the news because we

46:07

could not find those clint-stunaways. Oh

46:09

hang on, hang on. My headphones

46:12

are broken so here we are, here

46:14

we are, here we are. Hello! Yeah,

46:17

come on. Come here. Okay. How

46:20

are we feeling? I'm

46:22

searching for the buffet. What

46:24

kind of buffet are you opening

46:26

like that? Have you seen the

46:28

buffet? Yeah. Oh

46:31

my god. It's upstairs. It's upstairs.

46:33

Okay, great. Go and get

46:35

yourself one of these. Is it all you can eat?

46:37

Nail sausages. Shayna's an Australian ornament.

46:41

By calling her an Australian ornament, do you

46:43

mean an Australian icon? An

46:45

ornament icon. It's exactly as you...

46:48

We're on the

46:51

shelf. Are there still after

46:53

parties going or have they wound them up?

46:57

There was an after party going about

46:59

5 o'clock, I'm reliably in for. I

47:01

wasn't there. It was tucked up in bed

47:03

for the sake of kiss, breakfast.

47:07

That sounded convincing. Shayna

47:09

Blaze. He's an Australian ornament.

47:14

I don't even know what that is. It was

47:16

a look at the long night. It was a long

47:19

night. And you know what the best thing was, you were like

47:21

I was tucked up in bed. You told us 18 times

47:23

you went to bed at like 3.

47:25

And I had friends of mine who

47:27

were getting up to produce the breakfast. Radio

47:30

shows there in the morning who saw you

47:33

still in your suit in the club

47:35

when they were going to work. No, I

47:37

think the best bit was... So now it's time to fess up. How

47:39

many minutes of sleep did you actually have? I think

47:41

about 40. 40 minutes. Yeah,

47:43

something like that. But the alarm didn't go

47:46

off. That was Jazz's fault. Jazz,

47:48

producer Jazz. It was your fault. Sorry. Happy

47:52

to take it. I think I was so relatively

47:54

new. I'm not afraid of the last hectic day

47:57

of my life. My

48:01

favorite moment was all morning you're watching sunrise broadcast

48:03

in the four of the hotel and you just

48:05

kept talking about Matt Shervington and then finally in

48:07

the last break. Oh my gosh you went up

48:09

there to say hello. Matt Shervington walked past me

48:12

like hey Matt and he addressed you like you're

48:14

a fan of the telly show and you're like

48:17

hi and he's like oh hi nice to see you. Matt

48:20

Shervington fully brushed you. He

48:22

really did. The guys from

48:24

RB2 though they love me. You're

48:29

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast.

48:32

On Friday my

48:34

lovely wife Luke went and stayed in the city for the night.

48:36

Girls night. Her girlfriend Alana

48:39

got her for a 40th got her

48:41

tickets to Mulan Rouge the musical. Oh

48:43

did they love it? Yeah so they

48:45

went and did that. She did a

48:47

can can can. She said it

48:49

was quite elaborate she said it was like

48:51

really full of old-school mangas. Yeah Mulan Rouge

48:53

the soundtrack is amazing. She was like you'd

48:56

like it. No you wouldn't you'd hate

48:58

it. It's not you no and I'm sorry that's no

49:00

offense to the Mulan Rouge that's more of a reflection

49:02

of you. Morning Baz. The show

49:04

unbelievable but you're not you can't sit still so

49:07

it wouldn't be for you. So they did the

49:09

show, did dinner, stayed in the hotel in the

49:12

city. Great. How many of them? Just the two.

49:14

Oh my god that is so fun. Yeah. That

49:16

is living. No kids no husbands. No I was

49:18

at home with the three kids. Girls go wild.

49:20

Next day she got home three in

49:23

the arbor. Oh yeah got a late

49:25

check out. Real fun. Yeah a little check yeah

49:27

yeah late check out little massards that sort of

49:29

thing. When she came home she goes I got

49:32

something for you. And I'm like

49:34

oh yeah she goes I went to Hakes. Oh

49:38

I love that. Hakes chocolate. The

49:40

mint chocolate frogs are one

49:42

of God's greatest ever

49:45

inventions. Thank you Lauren. Do

49:47

we agree on something? How long have you known me?

49:49

We're finishing up in four days and we finally

49:52

agreed on something. If you went to Hakes and I said get me

49:54

something what would you get me? Mint chocolate frogs. I

49:56

quite like the roast almond. You're

49:58

such an old lady. He'd like

50:00

the coconut rough. I love

50:03

a coconut rough. He needs something that

50:05

he can gum. Not a

50:07

heart chock. When he takes his dashes out at

50:09

night. Lou reaches into a handbag.

50:11

What'd she get? Plain dark. Chocolate

50:14

almonds. No,

50:16

sorry, no. Chocolate macadamia. I mean delicious but they're

50:18

no mint frog. And I looked at her and

50:20

I'm like, uh oh. I

50:23

thought we knew each other. Yeah, I was like, what happened

50:25

to the mint frogs? She said, I thought you'd

50:27

like these or the chocolate macadamia. I

50:29

know, you don't say I thought you'd try something different

50:31

when it comes to hay. It developed

50:34

into a full, lone

50:36

argument about you think you

50:38

know someone. Yeah, we don't even know each other.

50:40

We're strangers. You do a nice

50:42

thing. No, no, no, no. No, she wasn't. No,

50:45

you've got to take them and say thank you. I

50:47

did. And then I said, who's the other bloke

50:49

that likes chocolate macadamians? Me. Macadamians.

50:52

We use the name Damien because they're

50:54

not called macadamians. They're macadamias.

50:58

And macadamian.

51:03

Well, they were for Damien, not you, Jase. And

51:06

that is disappointing because when you

51:08

saw that little hag, paper bag and it's

51:11

rolled up and it's got the little gold sticker

51:13

and you're like, I know. What's in here? I

51:15

know. What's in here? It's not mint frogs. You

51:18

know, I dated a girl once that for my birthday she

51:20

goes, guess what I've organised for you?

51:22

And I'm like, what is it? She goes, I'm

51:24

taking you on the Sydney Bridge climb. She

51:28

did not know you. Thank you. That's silly

51:30

grey overall. You wouldn't have even made it. I did

51:32

not go to the cap. You

51:35

didn't go. We had a

51:37

blow up in the cap. I'm like, you think you know someone? You

51:41

didn't go. You didn't even try. Imagine

51:45

even the overalls. She

51:53

took me away. She went on

51:55

a ride. He's

52:00

seen you as so stoked, saying

52:02

what wish you were here. Imagine

52:06

him, imagine the photo posing at the top, he

52:08

would be blowing the dale, he'd be

52:11

so exhausted, he'd be angry, he'd

52:13

be sunburnt. Oh no, little white skin of his

52:15

would be sunburnt and windburnt and he wouldn't be allowed

52:17

to wear his silly little hat because that would have

52:19

blown off. You've not had that funny little microphone, now

52:21

they all talk to each other on the head. Is that why

52:23

you do, Beau? Because you weren't allowed to wear that dumb hat

52:25

that you wear off. Do

52:29

you ever... They'd have to put a string under your chin

52:31

to get your hat on. What

52:37

was she thinking buying that for you? That's what

52:39

I said. It's really

52:41

expensive too. How long had you

52:43

been together? Like six months. Had

52:47

she ever seen you exercise? Serious

52:52

question. No, 13, 1065 is our number. Well

52:56

she offended when you said you didn't want to do it. That was

52:58

the end. We've literally

53:00

got a photo to mark the end of our relationship. And she

53:02

still sends you a photo of herself on her own. It's her

53:04

by herself on top of the bridge. She should have cried overall.

53:09

Attached to the surface. No,

53:11

but it still looks like a couple shot

53:13

because the lead, the other guy at Workshop Bridge

53:15

Club got the photo. He got the photo

53:17

and said, oh you poor thing. He felt sorry for

53:19

her so he posed with her. 13.1065

53:21

is our number. When

53:24

has someone got it so wrong? Like

53:27

your partner's bought you something and it's just not

53:29

you or you're the one that's

53:31

organised something and your partner's turned around and gone, don't we

53:33

know each other? Yes. When

53:36

did your partner get it wrong? When

53:40

did you or your partner get it wrong?

53:42

You think you know someone. Michaela

53:45

in Macedon, good morning. Did someone get it

53:47

wrong for you? Good morning. Yes, my husband.

53:49

Well done. What's he done? Well,

53:53

we've been together for quite a while so

53:55

I thought he knew how much I hated

53:57

hammocks but obviously he did. I

54:04

know it's like random but they're the most like horrible

54:06

thing to get out of every Christmas way. And

54:10

they just hug your body shape like there's just

54:12

nothing flattering about a hammock. So when you thought

54:14

he knew how much you hate hammock, how often

54:16

do you talk about how much you hate

54:19

hammock? Well I thought we talked about it a

54:21

lot. After I'm one of those

54:23

beautiful like egg chairs to go on our new

54:25

deck and like sit out and just you know

54:27

something really like awesome to have a cup of

54:29

coffee. Instead he bought me a hammock for Christmas

54:32

and I said to my friend, what was dad

54:34

thinking? He was like, oh he picked it up

54:36

from Audi special buyers on Christmas Eve. Now

54:40

he's in double trouble. Have you talked with him? His

54:42

son's dogg'ed in. Have you talked with him about your

54:44

upcoming holiday? I'm

54:46

very excited about our holiday. What's

54:49

happened? What's happened? She just went on her...

54:51

We've had a bad week alright? We have

54:53

had a bad week. We've had a rough

54:56

week. Paul said don't worry babe. We've

54:58

just had the trip of a lifetime. Once

55:01

in a lifetime went to the Maldives. It

55:03

was heaven. Just the tour. Did

55:05

you just do over waterbikes alive? We reconnected after really

55:07

hectic six months and we were like this is

55:09

just we've never been happier with them. We

55:11

love, we just are you know flying. Then

55:14

he said, we've had a rough week, he said don't worry

55:16

babe, I've booked us a holiday. Like there's light at the

55:18

end of the day. Right. Where

55:21

are you going? I'm thinking we are on here.

55:23

Harris? Where you at going?

55:25

We might even just have a surprise wedding

55:27

in Paris. He's planned all you know, planned

55:29

it all. He's a planner and I said

55:31

yeah babe, what are we doing? He goes

55:33

I have booked us two weeks on

55:35

the Gold Coast with all our friends and their kids.

55:38

Right. You

55:42

sure we're under the marriage and apartments

55:44

in Paris? I just can't wait to

55:46

be at Wet N Wild with all

55:48

the kids in the wet suit. We're

55:53

talking about when your partner got it really wrong

55:55

or you did it. My

55:58

wife did a little staycation in the city. came

56:00

back with Hake's chocolates for me on the weekend. What

56:02

a lovely woman she is. Nah, she ball

56:04

stood up. Mint frogs.

56:06

Mint frogs. It's the only thing you get from Hake.

56:08

She got me chocolate macadamias. If you get that. They're

56:11

macadamias, not macadamias. Hang on, hang on one second.

56:13

If you do that, you also have to get

56:15

the frogs. Thank

56:17

you. No. Is what he means. Did you

56:19

eat them? Of course he

56:22

did. They're in the glove box. Are

56:24

you eating them currently? What do you mean? Did you take them and

56:26

storm out of the house and get in the car? Why are they in

56:28

the glove box? Or you gotta go get a

56:31

refund. No, no, no. I'm returning. Here

56:33

are your macadamias. Maybe

56:40

I'm the only one saying it right. Then

56:44

you get the Hake's and the damei's and he jumps

56:46

out. It's not like the

56:48

name dameiun. Macadamian. I

56:50

think you'll find it in. It's not. Hey,

56:54

I'm the one with the packet. I'm the one

56:56

that can read the label. It's macadamian. Anyway,

57:07

that's not his biggest problem. Another

57:09

ex-girlfriend, it's his birthday, bought him

57:11

the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The

57:16

Sydney Harbour Bridge climb and look, Jase, I'm

57:18

not even your girlfriend, but I know that

57:21

would not be a gift for you. I just

57:23

looked at her and I'm like, I'm happy to drive across it, but

57:25

why are we climbing? It makes no sense.

57:28

Three hours. Three hours

57:30

for the bridge climb. All right, let's

57:32

go to Dean. The

57:34

grey overall, camel toe. All

57:38

right. Good morning, guys. Hey, Dean. The outfit. Dean. When

57:40

did you get it wrong or when did they get it wrong, Dean? I

57:43

got it completely wrong. I'm sorry, my ex. Hang on,

57:45

Ayn, we're gonna come back here. You just sound like

57:47

you're eating the phone a bit. Let's go to Christian.

57:49

A bit muffled. Yeah, Christian, morning. Morning,

57:52

guys. How are you? We're good. How are

57:54

you? It's, look, I'm great.

57:56

I'm gonna miss you guys next year terribly.

57:58

Thank you. I got

58:01

it wrong, I got it terribly wrong. My

58:04

partner now of 15 years and I had only

58:06

been dating about six or 10 months or so

58:08

before our first Christmas and I thought it'd be

58:10

a great idea to get him a little seaplane

58:13

ride from Eastern Beach out across

58:15

Ocean Grove and walk in. We got

58:17

back, he was gray. I

58:21

said, you're all right, babe. And he was like, I have,

58:23

like you, a morbid fear of hope.

58:25

He stuffed it up, he

58:28

did the whole thing. He never said anything before he

58:30

got on it. Did not say a

58:32

word, he would chase out the front seat with

58:34

the pilot, put the headset on everything. He was

58:36

like, I'm like, look at that, that's great. Look

58:39

down there. He's like, yes, yes, yes, no idea.

58:41

Oh, what a good sport. At least he went

58:43

through with it. Yeah, nothing screams romance like a

58:45

sick bag. Oh, I was

58:47

dating a girl. Oh, no. I

58:50

was dating a girl for the first Christmas. I got her

58:52

dad a bottle of Johnny Blue. Because I

58:54

was like, trying to impress. That's fancy, yeah. Well, I just thought

58:56

he might impress you. He was a reformed alcoholic. Oh,

58:59

no, that's not a good gift. But that's so

59:01

you, because then you would have got the Johnny

59:04

Blue. How was

59:06

that? And at the time, I didn't. Was

59:08

it wrapped up and did he open it? Yeah, he opened it.

59:10

And all I could think was, oh, I'm looking for a bit

59:12

more enthusiasm. I'm not grateful. Whoops.

59:16

Carmen, I'm 13, 1, 8, 6, 5. When

59:18

did they get it wrong? I got

59:21

it wrong. Back in

59:23

the 90s, the sexy photo shoot

59:25

was all right. So

59:27

I thought, yep, 10 year wedding anniversary. No

59:29

worries, I'm gonna get him this sexy photo.

59:32

Had it all done, had me hair and makeup done. I

59:37

think I'm my mother. Send

59:39

the kids to my mother. Hold on, get the photo. Man,

59:43

in the evening, he opens

59:45

it. He looks at me, looks at the photo.

59:48

He says, oh, I thought after 10 years,

59:50

I'd get a gold watch. And

59:52

he says, why would I want to put this on?

59:57

I would have voted for you up on the wall. I'd

59:59

see you every... day. Sorry.

1:00:03

Carmen, did you go to glamour photography? I went up to the local

1:00:06

photographer. How sexy was it Carmen?

1:00:10

What were you wearing? Oh

1:00:12

God, no. It's the befond hair. I've

1:00:14

never looked like that. Never. Well

1:00:18

then he should stop whinging because you don't look like the

1:00:21

person he sees every day. Hang

1:00:23

on, when you say sexy, was it like glamour or are you like in

1:00:25

your lingerie? A lingerie.

1:00:29

What colour lingerie? It was blue.

1:00:31

I see the photographer. Now I'll put the straps off. He was

1:00:33

getting very uncomfortable. Knocked the shoulder. It was the best excitement I've had

1:00:35

in 10 years. It was blue. I'm stuck on

1:00:37

the blue lingerie. Electric blue. Did you have a

1:00:39

black? Black. Did you have a feather boa?

1:00:42

Did you have some accessories Carmen? Yeah, I sort of like had a silk

1:00:44

blanket around me and I kept flapping it. Blah blah

1:00:46

blah blah. And did you have a black? I'm not

1:00:48

sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm

1:00:51

not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not

1:00:53

sure. I'm not sure. I'm not

1:00:55

sure. I'm not sure. Blah blah

1:00:57

blah. And did you get there? Did you go down

1:00:59

to the office works and get it printed and put it in a

1:01:01

frame? I got the photographer. Yes. I

1:01:04

did. I got the photographer to blow it up. And

1:01:06

you know what? My husband still doesn't have a gold watch. You're

1:01:09

listening to the Jason

1:01:12

Lauren podcast. I

1:01:20

went to a wedding yesterday. It is wedding

1:01:22

season. I got one this weekend. You

1:01:25

do? Yeah, it's definitely wedding season

1:01:27

and weddings on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays. There's

1:01:29

a bit of a backlog as well because

1:01:31

people couldn't get married for a couple of years. I

1:01:34

saw the seating chart for the weekend. I don't know anybody

1:01:36

on my table. Oh, so you

1:01:38

got to sneak to me. Why? Everyone I know

1:01:40

is in the bridal party. I don't. I went

1:01:42

to a wedding on the years eve once where I only

1:01:44

knew people in the bridal party and I went in the

1:01:46

photo booth on my own holding up the phone saying that

1:01:48

big news because I

1:01:51

didn't know anyone else. That'll be me. Yeah, that'll

1:01:53

be you. I'm going to start saying Mr and

1:01:55

Mrs. Yeah, just me. No, it

1:01:58

was a beautiful wedding yesterday. today,

1:02:00

Bonnie Anderson, gorgeous Bonnie,

1:02:03

she's been on Neighbours and she won the month.

1:02:05

Melbourne Zone. Yes, and she won. Australia's

1:02:07

Got Talent I think when she was like 12 or 13. She's

1:02:10

got a phenomenal voice and she married

1:02:13

our friend Sam, a magnificent

1:02:15

wedding. It was so beautiful. I

1:02:17

get right into it. Like I was crying before I'd

1:02:19

even seen A Bride's Maid walk down the aisle. Or the

1:02:21

end of the present, they do the wishing well. They do the wishing

1:02:24

well. Do the wishing well. Good. Go

1:02:26

on. She is an

1:02:28

amazing singer. So they did

1:02:30

the speeches and then she

1:02:32

said, I've written a song for you

1:02:35

Sam. And it was unbelievable.

1:02:41

Like there was not a dry eye in the house. Everyone

1:02:43

was- She wrote a song just for him. Yeah,

1:02:46

and she had her pianist there and

1:02:48

it was like some proper JLo stuff.

1:02:50

Like I was like, this is on

1:02:53

here. It was so good. I turned around

1:02:56

and my Paul who's just divine

1:02:59

was singing along. Hang

1:03:02

on, this is an OG song. He's never heard

1:03:04

the song before but by the time the second chorus came

1:03:06

around, he thought he knew it and I was like, can you turn

1:03:08

it down? And

1:03:11

he's like, oh sorry. Sorry, it was a cocktail wedding.

1:03:13

So I was standing, he's like seven foot taller than

1:03:15

everybody else. He's sitting there crying, singing

1:03:17

along with it. And I turned around

1:03:19

afterwards and I was like, do you think? At

1:03:22

our wedding. Oh no. No,

1:03:25

no, no. You brought me to sin to you.

1:03:27

No. And he just looked at me point blank

1:03:29

and went, no. No. No.

1:03:33

The wedding's off. The small chance that

1:03:35

he runs with it. No, you don't

1:03:37

think that's a good idea? I just remember

1:03:39

what you said. Alright, thanks for the encouragement. Bonnie

1:03:42

Anderson is a professional

1:03:45

singer. But it's

1:03:47

about the love in the room, isn't it? I'm not.

1:03:50

Would you go an OG? Would you get

1:03:52

your paper and pen out? Write a

1:03:54

song. Not belt out of Whitney.

1:03:56

You think I should write an original? I think you

1:03:58

should go original. now awkward

1:04:00

that would be for us wedding guests,

1:04:02

being there. Like it's awkward

1:04:05

enough when guys Sebastian comes in here and sits in front of

1:04:07

us and performs his new single and you got to be in

1:04:09

the studio just sort of looking around like. Can

1:04:12

you imagine Paul just standing there while I stare at

1:04:14

him? Regretting every, regretting

1:04:16

everything. Can I get out of this?

1:04:19

How did I get myself in this situation? Also you're

1:04:21

assuming you're getting an invite big boy. I know I

1:04:23

was watching through the window. I wonder

1:04:25

what it'd be like in there. It

1:04:28

was so beautiful anyway congratulations to them.

1:04:30

It was a gorgeous wedding, but I

1:04:32

just watched this beautiful bride singing this

1:04:34

like ballad that she's written and I just

1:04:36

thought that is some next

1:04:38

level stuff. I've been at a wedding before

1:04:41

where the couple had done a full Dancing

1:04:43

with the Stars dance routine. Oh,

1:04:45

like yeah, but that's the first dance. Don't people do that?

1:04:48

No, no, no, not just like first dance. Oh,

1:04:50

we've learned to waltz like first dance. Yeah, yeah,

1:04:52

yeah and like spinning her along the dance floor

1:04:54

and then them coming back in and the dips

1:04:56

and like full choreographed. Was Helen

1:04:59

Richie there holding up an H? Was that

1:05:01

her name? Helen Richie? Yeah, she still.

1:05:04

I don't know. Dancing with the Stars is still on. Yeah,

1:05:06

but I don't know if Helen's still on. Helen's on.

1:05:08

Helen's on. Honest, isn't

1:05:10

she? Yes. I

1:05:13

don't know. Yeah, they've just got rid of Dazzling Duzzer.

1:05:15

What's his name? Darrell Cummins. And now it's

1:05:17

Chris Brown. Didn't he leave on the celebrity get me out of here for

1:05:19

that? Yeah, Helen and I neither of them are. I don't think

1:05:21

Helen's a judge anymore. I mean look there might be an urn

1:05:23

on the judge. Oh, JK. That's

1:05:26

not funny. So Helen Richie wasn't at

1:05:28

the wedding. Don't die.

1:05:30

I love a surprise feature at a wedding night. Yeah,

1:05:32

and moves to music. Remember those flowers? What

1:05:39

are you talking about? I

1:05:50

don't know what you're talking about. What

1:05:55

happened? Helen, you know her. It's

1:06:00

unfair! Oh,

1:06:04

the dancing one! Yeah! Imagine

1:06:06

a little bit of it going to the music.

1:06:08

Oh, dancing. I think she's alive

1:06:10

and well apparently. Hello

1:06:13

Helen. Are

1:06:19

you still laughing about Helen Ritchie? I think she is.

1:06:22

Is that her name? She's the judge. Okay,

1:06:24

hey, 131065 is our number. Have you seen Helen?

1:06:27

No! Oh, forget it! You're

1:06:31

listening to the Jason Lauren podcast. We

1:06:33

had the slip and slide out on the weekend. Yeah. I

1:06:36

was going to have a hoon. Do you wear

1:06:38

a t-shirt when you go on it or do you

1:06:40

get your chest out? Do you, Royal Dog? No, no,

1:06:42

no, I didn't, Royal Dog. I didn't go on it.

1:06:44

Okay. But do you, do you,

1:06:47

Royal Dog usually? I haven't

1:06:49

been on a slip and slide for a number of years, Clint.

1:06:51

Can you make sure someone films that when

1:06:53

you have your first turn? Remember

1:06:56

Australia's Funniest Home Videos? You wearing a Rashi on the

1:06:58

thing? Yeah, the old part thing. Should

1:07:02

we get a slip and slide for Friday's show?

1:07:04

Great idea. That's how we end it. For our

1:07:06

last show. It is our last week, Melbourne. We all

1:07:08

run and just slide off into the distance.

1:07:11

We're 20% of the way through already. That's sad, isn't it?

1:07:13

Yeah, make sure you join us. Look, tomorrow we're going to

1:07:15

have a lot of fun in the lead up to wrapping

1:07:17

the show up for the year. More

1:07:19

of our favourite moments in the last couple of years.

1:07:21

But we will see you tomorrow, Melbourne. Bye. Thanks

1:07:25

for listening to the Jason Lauren Podcast. For

1:07:27

more great content, check them out on

1:07:30

socials at JasonLauren.